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The Soul
Ruby Bedi
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What People are Saying About

The Soul Promise
“The Soul Promise is an inspiring story of an inner journey that will awaken a deep exploration of your
true being, and the inner wisdom of your Soul.”

Dr. John F. Demartini

CEO and Founder of the Demartini Institute
Bestselling author of The Breakthrough Experience –
A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transformation

“Call her a healer, call her an oracle, call her a mystic or a spiritual intuitive, Ruby Bedi defies definition.
In The Soul Promise she shares her incredible experiences of discovering her special gift, her own
spiritual identity, and the Promise she made as Soul before incarnating into this life. Her personal journey
of healing, growth and miracles will enlighten, teach, and inspire you. Read this book, and as you do you
may realize that you too are a divine being and have made a promise, and it is possible to awaken the
memory of that promise and begin to live it.”

Janet Matthews
Co-author of Chicken Soup for the Canadian Soul
Licensed Heal Your Life Workshop facilitator, based on the work of Louise Hay
Writer, Editor, Spiritual Mentor

“Reading The Soul Promise will be the best investment of time you have ever spent. Ruby Bedi has
changed my life and I consider her my spiritual guide. She can do the same for you.”

Howard F. Lyman LLD

Author of Mad Cowboy
Professional Speaker and Advocate

“Ruby Bedi is an original thinker whose ideas in the Soul of Promise may shock you but won’t fail to
stimulate your mind. A truly amazing woman who mixes her real life world of the entrepreneur with the
spiritual world of mysticism.”

Fred Langan
Novelist and CBC TV commentator and host, Toronto.

“The Soul Promise is an essential read for anyone with the desire to connect with their own greater
intelligence. Well done, Ruby…. an incredibly inspiring read of your extraordinary inner experiences.
The Soul Promise is a must read for anyone, no matter what the belief systems. I have no doubt this book
will move you into the present moment.”

Dr. Brian Abelson

Internationally Best Selling Author of Release Your Pain

“Having had the great pleasure of working with the world’s most renowned mystics, I can tell you first
hand that not only are Ruby’s abilities second-to-none, but more importantly, the intention behind her
work is as pure as the Soul that resides within us all. Ruby was the match that lit the spiritual fire that I
am today. After my first meeting with her, I was awakened to a thirst for the Truth about Life that has yet

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to be quenched, nor can it be, nor do I want it to be. Ruby sparked the journey I began years ago that led
me to the inner peace and literally out-of-this-world awareness I so cherish today. I know that Ruby Bedi
is here to awaken the same magnificence within anyone with the opportunity to hear her life-altering
message. Not only is The Soul Promise a book you should read, but you owe it to your Soul-self to do

Daniel King
Visionary, Spiritual Teacher, Revolutionary
Promoter of Lightworkers

“Once I began to read Ruby’s amazing story, I could not put this book down. If you suspect there is a
reason you are here on this planet, but are simply not sure what it might be or how to discover it, Ruby
Bedi delivers the answers. As she shares the extraordinary inner experiences, stories and events that
make up the fabric of her life, we are forced into a paradigm shift about our own identity, and why we are
here. Read this book, and you will be changed!”

Cathy (Yost) Anderson, PCC

Professional Certified Coach
Cathy Yost Coaching Corporation

“The extraordinary events and experiences shared by author Ruby Bedi in The Soul Promises makes
reading it a sublime spiritual experience. It’s an excellent book to rejuvenate your faith in everything that
matters, and remind you of the importance of faith and God. Ruby Bedi - may God always guide you
through the Masters, and help you heal the world. This is a must read in these days of anger, bitterness
and hate. Share it with those you love, and help change their lives along with your own, forever.”

Suresh Menon
Bollywood Actor, Comedian and Radio Host

“The Soul Promise is an experience, a wonder you need to carry with you from this life to another making
the passage a simple crossover. Looking in the mirror I saw the beauty of Soul, and not the young
woman or her eyes or nose or mouth. This is the mirror that Ruby takes you through with her
explicit description of her visions and her Soul search. It is so generous of her to have shared her
miraculous insights with all of us.”
Dr. Shveta Uppal
Chief Editor, NCERT
(National Council for Education Research & Technology)

“Regardless of your religious affiliation, The Soul Promise delivers true spiritual wisdom and convinces
you of being a divine Soul. You can begin to live from that perspective right now. Author Ruby Bedi does
not hold back with her truth about who she is, and through her visions her Soul purpose in this life. The
road to spiritual enlightenment is an experience available to anyone ready to step up and follow the thread
of this inimitable piece.”

Sujata S. Sabnis
Writer and novelist

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Publishing Credits page

Library of Congress Cataloging-In-Publication Data:


All Rights Reserved

© Ruby Bedi, 2009

Editorial: Janet Matthews

Cover Design and Layout: Mieka West

For more information see:

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Sometimes an individual enters your life and you immediately feel a deeper connection. You may

not be able to pinpoint or remember exactly where it came from, but you know in your heart and Soul that

you and this other person are walking down the same path, and have been doing so for many lifetimes.

Ruby Bedi may actually create this same kind of feeling in many people. In this lifetime alone

she has connected with so many individuals on different dimensions and levels of consciousness. God

only knows how many Souls she has shepherded closer to the light over her many sojourns through time

and space in this present earth cycle.

I knew right away I was here to assist with her book. There was no question of choice; it felt like

we had made an agreement before we both entered this world. We are kindred spirits, and working on the

same kind of mission so it was destined that our karmic paths would eventually cross when they did. And

I feel blessed for having re-discovered my old friend.

When I read her life experiences I totally got it and understood what she was going through. It

was through this window into her Soul that I saw and experienced her life, which is truly a journey of

divine intervention and love. She walks a sacred path that few can follow, but all can marvel at and strive

to achieve. Her powers and abilities are not simply some gift of Divine grace, but have been developed

and earned over thousands of years of meditation, discipline, and devotion. In my mind’s eye I can see

her praying in remote ancient monasteries and cold mountain caves. Like the rest of us here she is not yet

free of her karmic debts, but she is certainly closer to the source of light than most.

Her personal accounts of her younger life are filled with much loneliness and despair. She

struggled through unhappy marriage, many life lessons and even faced death, but these experiences

served to bring her even greater insights into her own life and purpose. She is very human and very much

aware of pain, both emotional and physical. However, she has a sense of her place in this universe and

knows with certainty she is on a pre-ordained mission. And for the rest of us that is our mutual ticket to a

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faster ride to the summit of our own mountains. With her intuitive advice and guidance she helps so many

by teaching them to climb higher and out of the valley of despair and sorrow.

This amazing book will give even further inspiration to those who have those sacred fires burning

within. Ruby is a beacon of light in a darkened world where the waves of stress and hopelessness smash

onto the shores of our rocky lives. I believe it will help many people find new directions for their own

lives. They will realize there are some things within all of us that simply cannot be fully explained – a

force of energy and love. Some call it God, but others may give it different names, it matters not. Ruby

has found a way to harness some of that loving energy and it shines from her like the sun in the sky.

Ruby truly loves people and it shows in how she works with others. Her life has been one of

service and devotion to those who are suffering emotionally or spiritually. She presents hope to the many

who seek out her spiritual advice. And it is this hope that brings the sunshine each morning to so many

lives that have benefited from her wise and sage advice.

As Ruby has pointed out to many before, there are no accidents in this universe; so if you are now

holding her book, then you are ready to hear her story. My dearest wish is that you find inspiration from

her life experiences and allow this to energize your own spiritual quest for life meaning and purpose.

I am both honored and humbled to write this foreword for her wonderful book.

W. H. McDonald Jr.
Author of A Spiritual Warrior’s Journey and other books.
Founder of “The American Author’s Association”
Documentary Film Maker, Motivational Speaker, Award Winning Poet, Minister, Former Radio Talk
Show Host, Vietnam War Veteran

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Within the heart of every seeker

lies the seed of true desire. This desire is
contagious, and cannot but awaken the sleeping

These seekers were no other than my family and

soul friends. Each one added fuel to my fire and
helped ignite my inner flame.

My gratitude to the souls before me and with me

who have jointly initiated the mass awakening
we all are about to express and experience.


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Table of Contents
Foreword …………………………………………………………………………………………5
Introduction ..............................................................................................................……………10
Chapter One
The Early Years……………………………………………………………………………...15
Grandfather Time……………………………………………………………..…..................19
My name calls out to me…………………………………………………………………….21
Om Baba ………….………………………………………………………… ……………..24

Chapter Two
The Family Years…………….……..………………………………………………………28
Marriage, Canada, Children, Divorce ...............................................................…................37
Starting Over………………………………………………………………………………..39
Madras Baba ......................................................................................................……………40

Chapter Three
The Awakening…………….……...………………………………………………………...44
The Gift Emerges……………………………………………………………………………48
Shirdi Sai Baba, Christ and my mission…………………………………………………….51
Begin working as a Spiritual Advisor .................................................................……………58
The Three Steps to Healing and the Masters………….………………………………….....64

Chapter Four
The Masters Put Me To Work….……………..…………………………………………….70
Prema’s Story .....................................................................................................… ………..71
Back to India – Pilgrimage to thank the Masters……………………………………………78
Monica’s story. ...................................................................................................…...............82
Dr. Noel, the Ghostbuster .................................................................................……………86

Chapter Five
Into the Valley of Death…………..………………………………………………………...88
Journey to Ladakh ………………………………………………………………………….92
Manifesting My Being .......................................................................................…………...97

Chapter Six…………………………………………………………………………………….100
I meet Ma ji …………………………………………………………………………….…105
Inder – my Soulmate…………………………………………………………....................107

Chapter Seven
The Serpent – Tryst with Tantrik Swami Kuber……………………………….…………114

Chapter Eight
The Wake Up Call (Ma ji asks for help)…...……………………………………...............125
The Four Pillars of Light Meditation . ...............................................................…………..141

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Chapter Nine
Visions of Five Past Lives……………………………………………………...................145

Chapter Ten
Twenty-One Minutes to Freedom...………………………………………………………166
Vision of Mt. Everest......…………………………………………………………………167
Blessings from Ancestors…...……………………………………………………………171

Chapter Eleven
Raj’s Death …..……...……………………………………….…..................174
Invitation to a Special Soul Gathering …...……………….…………………..................177
Retrieving the Soul Promise..…. ......................................................................………….184
One Cell of Intelligence Vision.. ......................................................................………….186

Chapter Twelve
Monica Returns-June 2006………………………………………………………………..188
The Story of Priya Rajvansh and the Fakir………………………………………………..194

Chapter Thirteen
The Radio Interview with Adrienne………………………………...………………...…..208
My Father’s visit ................................................................................................………….210
The Death of Death……....………………………………………………………………..214
Vision of the Caged Tiger....………………………………………………………………217
All Lights On………..…….………………………………………………………………220

Chapter Fourteen
Living the Soul Promise..…..……………………………………………………………...224
A Soul Returns ...................................................................................................…………..226
The Soul Promise and Realization of Purpose ...…………………………………….….234

Chapter Fifteen
Miracles and More Miracles…….……………………………………………………..….237
Horace’s story. ...................................................................................................……….…238
The Mad Cowboy- Howard Lyman and Oprah………….……………..............................243

To You My Reader…….............................................................................................................255

About the Author………………………..…………………………………………………….257

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A single star splinters and trillions of light molecules fall and scatter in thousands of

directions at once. Such is the effect of a sudden flash of an enlightening experience upon the

human psyche. The splintering and scattering of light can affect us in many ways; it can make us

delusional, or schizophrenic, and sometimes, more aware. All three states are possible and very


It was just such an experience that shocked my nervous system in 1992. I went to sleep

in one world and woke up in another, feeling as though I had been struck by lightning.

Trembling and shaking, I tried to find my bearings in a world where everything had changed.

Somehow, I was now linked to a higher level of awareness, intelligence, and perspective. It

seemed as though a new mind had birthed into me; suddenly, I was intuitive, inspired, and


Within three weeks, I had pulled down the shutters of my wholesale and retail business

and entered a new calling as a spiritual consultant. For the next ten years, I supported my clients

as they connected to their own Soul intelligence. But strangely enough, I did not experience a

full connection to my own. Instead, I felt disturbed and troubled, although few would ever have

guessed. The same starburst that had enabled me to bring others into awareness had blinded me.

I wished there was someone in my life like me, someone who could shed light upon Ruby.

But I was my only resource. Because I always wanted to understand more, I set up an

inner lab in my mind using my intellect and intuition as investigative tools. Here I conducted my

own research, first receiving information and then putting it to the test in the physical. As I

became more aware of my inner truths, my outer life began to change as it became a clearer

reflection of those truths. My relationships with others, along with every experience I invited

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into my life, were now born out of this testing. In opposition to the outer directed culture I was

living in, I was soon living my life from the inside out. I had only one master, my own inner


The story that unfolds on these pages reveals in some detail my interactions with spiritual

masters, teachers, friends, and relatives who had passed away but have guided me by sharing

their wisdom from the other side. I am always in direct communication with beings from various

religious traditions, dimensions, and times.

At some point I noticed my experience was limited to my ability to understand and

comprehend what I was seeing; I was not able to access everything available. But being

persistent and curious, I decided to push further. Soon I connected to an even higher level of

intelligence which I later recognized to be my own Soul intelligence.

At the time I had no language to express any of this so I decided to simply watch and

observe. What I experienced in that wondrous space reminded me of a childrens’ movie about

Christmas Eve; the falling snow, a fireplace hung with stockings, a tree glittering with lights, and

children awaiting the arrival of Santa. It is always depicted as such a magical night, one that

suspends all logic and opens the heart to infinite love.

The space I entered was that magical and filled with that much love. My awakened

awareness of these subtle realms enabled me to see events before, during, and after their making.

And I became aware that all these experiences or occurrences were being engineered by a highly

intentional force. This was my first introduction to the Soul. Although I had not yet fully

connected with myself as Soul, I had become aware of it.

With one touch of Soul awareness, much of my previous conditioning fell away like a

snake shedding its skin and I stepped into a higher state of consciousness. From here I could see,

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feel, touch, and experience the world beyond the physical level. I was able to connect with

subtle intelligence and use it to create health and healing for my clients.

In the year 2000, I re-entered the business world and partnered in real estate as a

developer. I wanted financial freedom so I would be free to help and support others. But

something was missing. And then I had another powerful experience that revealed the Soul in a

whole new way, further deepening my perspective. It was through this experience that I

eventually connected with my Soul Promise.

The book you now hold in your hands is a fulfillment of my promise to reveal my own

journey to you, my reader. I have shared the facts to the best of my ability, but please keep in

mind the story is my personal interpretation of those facts. As well, for the sake of privacy, I

have changed some of the names.

In order to add depth and authenticity, I have divulged aspects of my past and not all of it

is pretty. But the point of exposing my innermost self is to inspire others to look in the mirror

from a Soul perspective and connect with their real beauty, a beauty often hidden or disguised by

suffering. I have no shyness about admitting I did not like the person in the mirror until I

connected with myself as Soul. After that, the image I saw was simply breathtaking.

I have no desire to create hype in the world of spirituality. I offer no specific way, nor do

I declare a specific path or direction. My intention in writing this book is to inspire you to be in

touch with your own divinity – your own Soul intelligence. This divine intelligence was there

before you were born, and will continue after the death of your physical body. It is actually your

true identity. But not even the world’s greatest Magician, Saint, or Sage can fully see the Soul of

another being; at best, they get glimpses which may help us in a moment of crisis and guide us in

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a particular direction. It is up to each of us to connect with our own essence, our own divinity -

the radiant whisper of Soul that is calling us home to our original promise in this lifetime.

Writing this book may have been the most enlightening experience of all. The process of

digging deep and examining truth as it happened, as it was perceived, and as it transformed into a

mental and physical reality awakened an awareness and a new creative flow that has helped me

communicate more deeply with others, manifest better health, create more abundance, and

connect more consistently with my Soul. I now know there is a way to live without hanging onto

the traditional structure of religion, philosophy, and culture. It is the way of the Soul, and there

are as many ways as there are Souls. This story is simply about my way. It is my hope that it

will inspire you to find yours, and if it does, then my promise is fulfilled.

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December 6. New Delhi, India

“Oh no! It’s a girl.”

It is 3:30 am. The room is cold, and the single wall light does little to dispel the darkness.

The doctor holds me up to the light as she examines my new body.

“Please, check again!” orders Tai ji, my father’s aunt. “It should be a boy! Those pundits

can’t have been wrong,” she insists. “Faqir Chand (my father) does not deserve this. A fourth

daughter! God have mercy!”

“Tai ji, please,” interrupts the doctor, trying to minimize the damage. “Take some rest.

It’s been a long night.”

With an unusual awareness, I watch and remember my own birth. I experience my first

breath, my first cry, and the sadness of my mother’s tears. A dark cloud hangs over the entire

room. My mother’s moans and groans of despair reach out - down the long corridor into every

room of the house.

She is not alone; all other female relatives including the servants shed tears of pain. All

hope of having a male child is in this moment forever lost. I am given a Hindi name, Kapila, a

name with which I have no resonance at all.

Without blame, I feel the burden of shame and guilt and unfulfilled desire, and in the

midst of sorrow I make a promise; one day I will make everyone proud of me. I am not just a

girl, nor a loss but a gain for humanity. I shall! I will! I was ready, determined, and prepared.

My story begins with this conscious memory of my birth along with determination, joy,

and exhilaration. A brand new life! A new opportunity, another chance to manifest my dream.

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Chapter One
The Early Years
“Within the heart of every seeker lies unborn the seed of true desire; as contagious and
devouring as it may be, it is what awakens the sleeping soul to a life of mindful living.”

Born of East Indian parents at a time when a male was still considered to be a worthier

sex than a female, I had the experience of arriving as the fourth daughter. Although my father,

Faqir Chand, was an open-minded man, a prominent lawyer with a successful practice in New

Delhi, it was an embarrassment too much even for him.

Shukla, my mother, was traumatized, and made no attempt to hide her disappointment.

After I was born she went under and covered herself in deep depression. I have no memories of

my mother ever touching, feeding, or dressing me. I do recall being placed by her side, looking

at her and wanting to touch her, but my tiny arms couldn’t reach her. Periodically, she would

bend down and look at me, and drop a few salty tears on my face. This is how I remember the

taste of my mother’s love. I found comfort in her tears. The taste of the salt reminded me how

close, yet how far I was from my life giver.

I remember the images from my birth. A cold winter morning, a dark room, the loud

cries of a blood soaked baby being wrapped in cotton and a black shawl. The silent wailing of

the mother, disapproving grunts from relatives, the look of pity and disappointment, the whispers

of sorrow and pain as my birth was announced, the dark night, the sadness, and the cracked

mirror crookedly hanging off the wall. The most colourful image of all was that of a calendar of

Lord Shiva which hung on another wall. The third eye was lit with red and gold fire pouring out

of it. I remember it all.

Those images were imprinted in my psyche before I could hear, speak, or walk. People

don’t realize that a newborn baby absorbs the environment and creates its own truth through

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perception, more than just the five senses. A mother’s womb is a safe place for a determined soul

but not strong enough to resist the external influences. A newborn baby can sense disapproval as

easily as it can feel the warmth of love. Each image I saw quickly created a story I would have

to live for most of my life. The story was not formed in an instant, but developed with every

touch or lack of touch, every feeling, and everything I saw and heard. The story I created was

my interpretation of those events. Who can say if it was real or not, but to me it was real and it

became my reality. I grew and developed from out of this story.

The joy of watching, touching, feeling, hearing, and simply being alive was exhilarating,

yet I felt the pain of coming into this life. I was a burden, unwelcome, unlucky , and unworthy.

I brought pleasure to no one; rather, I was the source of pain. I was uninteresting and uneventful.

I celebrated my birthdays with a bittersweet combination of joy, guilt, and shame. It was just

another day of fear and gut throbbing anxiety. Tears welled up easily and soon I would find a

reason to cry, yet somewhere in the midst of pain was a young heart beating with excitement.

Each year that passed confirmed my fears that nothing would change, yet abandoning hope was

more fearful than living with fear.

From the moment of my birth, I had a conscious awareness of watching. I felt a constant

surge within me, like being plugged to a source or feeling, something constantly brewing inside.

It was only much later that I would recognize the dream gestating within me. The dream, as

much as it was personal, would connect to everyone and everything within my sphere of

experience. The little bundle of life force, energy, and intelligence that I was had come with a

specific plan. I held a secret that would unfold in time. I was blessed with a special gift that

would bring pleasure, peace, and abundance to many. But I had no idea when, where, or how

this would happen.

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I was brought up by a Buddhist nanny, Bindu, cared for me until I was four at which time

she returned to her home in Nepal to visit her sick mother. Along with her, she took my sense of

security and love. When she left I shed wrapped my arms around her thighs and sobbed

profusely in her sari. “Bindu, you can’t leave. You said you would always be with me,” I cried

and only let go after she promised to return after visiting her mother. Bindu left me with hope

and a promise. I would fall asleep each night with tears rolling down my cheeks, missing her

touch and warmth. The new help my parents hired was not nearly as comforting as Bindu. I

learned to sleep with loneliness and awaken with sadness, a pattern that would last for years to


As I grew, with each passing day the conscious knowledge of my special gift faded and

was slowly replaced by an intuitive knowing. This knowing was accompanied by a strong inner

voice I could hear, feel, and touch. The voice guided me silently and kept me alert. It cautioned

me in times of danger and helped me engage in experiences where I could grow, develop, and


It is hard to tell when I started to believe in the existence of the Soul. I often found

myself engaged in conversations with things and people who were not always physically present.

It was natural for me to have a discussion with a rose, a mango tree, the crow that sat on the

electric wire connecting the streetlamps, or anything else. I would question, reason, laugh, get

angry, or just be silly. I was full of life, and often busy with these silent conversations. I became

aware that I could listen, watch, and be engaged all in one moment. The thoughts and unspoken

words of others were fully available to me, along with their feelings. I often had an awareness of

events before they occurred. It was many years before I discovered that not everyone had these

same gifts of perception, and what was natural for me was extraordinary to others.

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One day I realized there was usually a difference between what people thought and felt,

and what they actually said, and at that point my gift became a major source of confusion. I

stopped trusting, and my little world became convoluted with complexity and duality. When I

communicated internally I felt one with everything, but when dealing externally I felt the

opposite. I recognized the link between all things, and despite the invisible connection, I knew

each thing was separate.

I learned from the gardener. He would walk into the garden with a smile greeting

everyone, and by everyone I mean the plants and trees he cared for. He looked at the plants,

touched the soil, felt the leaves and petals. He watched for changes, sometimes staring at the sky

looking for signs. He would mumble, ask questions and respond, and there were times when I

watched him discipline the green beings. He was in control from within. I would try to enter his

world and pick up on his inner communication. Eight out of ten times, I could tap into his mind

and pick up the silent communication. I found him amusing, loving the fact that he had very

little stimuli from outside. I fell in love with the lifestyle that was inwardly inspired. With

neither a visible agenda nor a philosophy, the garden thrived and so did the gardener.

After my birth, my parents became increasingly distant from each other. This silent war

began killing any ability I had to love, trust, and have faith. I wanted to be with them, but did

not want to get in their way. I felt responsible for their situation so I withdrew into a shell.

The Dream Begins

A split began to develop between who I truly was and what I was feeling. Inside my little

self I had a feeling of being special. Within me there was a knowing, bright and warm, that I

was lucky, and could bring that luck with joy and inspiration to others. I felt I was a blessing,

that I was brave, courageous, and strong. I knew I was born to do something, and that something

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would be revealed to me when the time came. This knowing kept me aloof from others,

separated but very in touch with myself. I needed to remain tuned to the inner channel so I could

receive the messages from within.

But on the outside I felt quite the opposite. My need for attention and approval made me

greedy, self-conscious, and self-centred. Between these two beliefs lay an ever-widening chasm

– an unknown space I could not fathom. I felt guilty. I loved myself, but when I looked in the

mirror I could not see that love, and it was a very painful experience. The images of my first

impressions of life ran deep. They became imprinted on my face, and this is how I grew to live

on the surface. Just how this story of love and hate would become my destiny was beyond my


A New Friend: Grandfather Time

“The deeper you go, the more aware you will become.”

Life was not the same after Bindu left. I was sad and scared. There was no one else who

could penetrate my shell and enter within. And then a new friend arrived. One night I was

engrossed in knee-deep communication, talking away loudly when I heard a voice from nearby.

When I looked up I found an elderly man sitting on the other twin bed in my room.

“Who are you?” I asked with curiosity.

“A friend,” he replied gently. I was not irked or surprised, and he seemed increasingly


“I have been with you for a long time, and now it is time for you to see me,” he


“Are you God,” I asked? “Are you the one I often talk to? Is it you who tells me

everything?” I wanted badly to know him.

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“Yes, and no,” he replied. “In time you will find out what you want to know. I am here

to comfort you and let you know you are not alone. I have been, and will be, with you always.”

Sensing my need for assurance, he continued, “You can call me by any name. I will show you

everything and teach you what I know. We will walk, talk, and go many places together.”

With these few words, a deep connection was established. To me he appeared ancient,

wise, kind, and strong. I felt like he knew everyone and everything, even God. I called him

Grandfather Time because I felt him to be the timekeeper, a witness to everything that had and

was occurring simultaneously in multiple dimensions. Eventually I realized he was a spiritual

master, and his role was to be my spiritual guide.

I would be alone in my room or playing somewhere, and he would simply appear and we

would talk for hours. And he came and went from my life. Sometimes he would be with me for

months, and then years would pass with no word from him. He would often sit by my side and

tell me stories about cosmic happenings, planetary crossovers, elemental interceptions, and

nature spirits. He took me time-travelling with him. He taught me how to enter different

dimensions, frequencies, and vibrations, and how to access and retrieve information from the

past, present, and future. He introduced me to the elements like we were old friends. Here I

learned to set up a connection or a frequency line with the stars, planets, and galaxies, after

which I could effectively communicate.

Grandfather Time made everything simple and interesting, and I loved his interpretations.

Talking to him was like talking to God. He knew the secret to every mystery and had the key for

every door. He was a storyteller and I became part of every story he told me.

“Everyone can hear you,” he taught me, “but only those you befriend will listen. Respect

and love them all, and they will always be there to serve you. Opposing them will result in break

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down. Once you lose the connection, you will no longer be able to communicate with them.

This goes for all things including beings. The space, earth, water, and air are all your friends;

they will keep you healthy. All intelligence will guide you, and all energy will present you with

the life force you require to create your world.” Soon, I had many friends.

He asked me to see living as an act of love, relationships as friendships, and giving and

receiving as exchanging gratitude and compassion. As the years passed, he pushed me to reach

deeper into my being. “The deeper you go, the more aware you will be,” he would say.

I loved him deeply, and always wanted his company. Whenever I had a meltdown or a

heartbreak he would be there to hold, caress, and comfort me. I remember one day when I was

really having an all out tantrum, I accused him of not being present for me. “Where are you when

I need you most?” I shouted angrily, dropping big tears.

“In your tears,” he said softly. “When you cry I comfort and touch you. I am with you

till you wipe me off.”

I cried and cried, but this time with love and understanding. I did not want to wipe off my

tears because I did not want him to go away. I would often sleep with them on a long lonely

night. To this day, I think of Grandfather Time as my dear friend, confidant, and wise mentor.

Because of this precious connection, when I was only four my true name surfaced from within


My name calls out to me

“Do not call me that any more,” I said to my mother. At four, I was adamant and

determined. “My name is Ruby,” I insisted.

“But you already have a name,” my mother replied. “We gave it to you when you were


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“But all my friends will be waiting for me,” I persisted, more firm than before. “And

they will look for Ruby. They won’t recognize me if you call me by any other name.”

“What friends are these?” my mother asked doubtfully.

“They are people I am supposed to meet. They are everywhere, and they will find me

when I am older,” I replied with certainty.

It was only a week later that I began school, and on the first day the teacher asked, “What

is your name?”

“Ruby Bedi,” I replied with determination. My voice was loud and clear and heard by all

in the classroom. At four I did not know who I was and what I would do, but the one thing I did

know was that I must be Ruby Bedi. And on that day I let go of the name given to me at my

birth forever. As much as this was my first act of free will, my true spiritual self ordained the

name from within. I believe it contains the blueprint, design, and artwork of who I am as a

spiritual being, and my own unique calling.

This was my first inspired action to fulfilling my Soul Promise. With this, the four-year-

old child stepped into a life that would later shape into a destiny.

Out of loneliness and from my travels with Grandfather Time arose a beautiful gift; the

ability to communicate with all. I created my little world, remained invisible, and from then on I

was never lonely.

“Chicky,” I would often silently order our three year old German Shepherd, “you must

drink all my milk and make sure no one catches you.” I would then lower the glass of milk and

Chicky, who was under the table, would then obediently drink from the glass without any

spillage. We were not allowed to leave the dining table without drinking a full glass of milk, and

this occurred twice a day.

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“Milk is essential,” declared my old aunt. “It will make your skin soft and white.” Of

course, there was no way milk would do that, and no one dared question my old aunt’s wisdom.

For years Chicky saved me from drinking the hot milk, and all that milk did not turn him white

from brown either.

Amongst my other friends were birds who kept me informed of needed events, and

passed messages back and forth. I could piggyback on them and see whatever I needed to see.

My friend, the crow, while perched on the electric wire on the lamp post across the street, would

inform me of upcoming events. “Stay awake, there is a special friend arriving at eleven o’clock

tonight,” he would whisper.

Another dear friend was the eagle. She was majestic and grand and she flew me to any

place, space, or country and revealed many a secret. And in order to understand what I was

seeing, I also developed the gift of discretion.

In India, it was considered unhealthy to sleep in an air-conditioned room, so on hot

summer nights the entire family would sleep under the stars, either in the garden or the open

courtyard. Beds would be laid out side by side and made up with white linen. Mango, banana,

and papaya trees stood guard, while gentle breezes carried the scents of jasmine and rose. The

night was exhilarating and tempting, the dark skies alive and smiling with stars, all making sleep

impossible for me. It was then I realized there was an infinite intelligence in space, and I could

tap into various forms of energy including stars, planets, and galaxies and have a heartfelt

conversation. Everything had a story and was eager to share it with me.

Much later in life I was introduced to astrology, but as a young girl I knew the influence

that planets had upon us. I had no fear of asking and I felt no one would deny me anything. I

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could have or get what I wanted as long as I remembered that all living things, big and small,

were there for a reason, including me, and as such were to be respected.

Om Baba: A Promise is a Promise

Looking back, I can see that no time was wasted before I would adopt beliefs that would

guide and direct me on my life path. It is obvious now that from very early on, the experiences I

attracted were preparing me for my life’s work. Each experience made me more conscious and

aware of the Soul. I was about to learn another lesson, and this time it was about life and death

and more.

Before the age of nine, I had become aware of both the physical and subtle states, and the

interwoven connection between them. Any illusions I may have had were removed on the day I

met our revered guru and guide, Om Baba, after his passing over.

Om Baba1 passed away at the ripe old age of one hundred and ten years. He was an

enlightened Soul who by choice had become a Yogi. After spending over seventy years in the

jungles of Madhya Pradesh living amongst the wildlife, he settled in Old Delhi and soon came to

be known as a wise one and honoured as a sage.

Om Baba needed very little. He lived on fresh fruit and tea and refused house visits or

any gifts and favours. I am not quite sure of his religious practices; I heard him chanting mantras

as he sat in front of a small urn with a fire. Wearing only a white loincloth, he would sit cross-

legged and listen to what was being said. He responded with few words, and gave each visitor

some holy ashes from the burning fire. No matter what he said, it came true. Everyone seeing

him desired something - a male child, better health, longer life, a loyal husband, a kind mother-

in-law, and of course, more money - all except for my father.

Baba used this way is used as a mark of respect to Sufi saints and Hinduism ascetics (sannyasi) and can also be
used as a suffix or prefix to their names. (Wikipedia)

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Unlike everyone else, he would ask simply, “Baba, what can I do for you?”

“Bedi saheb,” he replied, “I do not want anything from you, except that my last rites be

handled with your money.” This was quite an honour for my father.

I was only about five years old the first time my mother took me to see Baba.

“Baba,” she began, “Bubbli (my nickname) is suddenly stuttering, and she is scared to be

alone. She says she sees people and things when they are not there. She thinks ghosts are

haunting her. Her grades are starting to suffer.”

After listening carefully to her words, with eyes half open Baba gazed right through me.

“I know who she is Shukla, and she will need protection. Her gift can be hazardous with

premature awakening.” With this, he handed my mother a bit of holy ash wrapped in a piece of

old newspaper. Then looking at me, he said, “Child, wear this on your body always. Repeat the

Gayatri Mantra inwardly as many times as you think of it. The Divine Mother e will protect you

until you are ready.”

I felt better instantly. My stuttering stopped and I stopped seeing people or things that

frightened me. I wore the ash wrapped in a royal blue cloth twenty-four/seven, and for the next

thirty years I carried it in my wallet until one day it was stolen.

I took to the mantra like a bee to honey; the more I chanted, the more it grew on me. I

had a new friend, the Divine Mother. As the years passed, we talked, argued, and laughed

together. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing, as long as I was in the company of

my dear friend, I felt good and strong.

Then when I was nine, the most extraordinary thing happened. It was about three o’clock

on a cold cloudy afternoon in January. The servants had retired to their quarters for the hour, and

both the front and back doors to the house were locked. Suddenly the two family dogs began to

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bark and there was a commotion in the corridor. Assuming it was a servant, we ignored the

noise. Suddenly the bedroom door opened fully, and in walked Om Baba. My mother and I both

jumped up from our beds.

“Baba! How come? I mean, we did not know you were coming!” My mother was

clearly shocked and confused. Not once during the last five years had Baba stepped out of his

tiny room.

Baba asked with warm compassion, “Shukla, how are you?”

“Fine Baba, very fine,” she replied. “I cannot believe it. Baba what can we get for you?”

And then without pausing, she ordered me to fetch the servants to serve tea and fruit. My mother

was absolutely ecstatic.

“Shukla, please. I don’t need anything at all. I promised once that I would visit you at

home, and here I am.”

“Child,” he said, looking at me, “no one bothers you now, do they? I can see that you

have been blessed by the Divine Mother.”

“Yes, Baba, I talk to her all the time,” I was shy to answer.

“God bless you!” he repeated a few times. Baba kept us engaged for a good fifteen

minutes, after which I ran off to call the servants. But there was no sign of anyone around and

the doors of the house were still locked!

Then I heard my mother’s voice, “Baba! Please wait!” She rushed out to the corridor

still trying to put on her house slippers.

“Where is Baba? I told him to wait until the servant brought him a tonga2, but he just

hurried out. Check the doors, he can’t be far!” she screamed, rushing toward the front door.

A tonga is a horse buggy - it was common to travel by tonga to Old Delhi.

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I didn’t see him and neither did anyone else. The servants were sent to check the street

but Baba had simply disappeared.

Half an hour later, my father returned from his work at the courts to find everyone at his

home still in surprise and shock. There was no way to reach Baba that day.

The next morning a stranger came to our door seeking my father. “Bedi Sahib, I have sad

news. Yesterday morning at ten o’clock, Om Baba left for the heavenly abode. He left a note

with your name and address. Baba’s last rites must be performed, and he gave instructions that it

could be done only with your funds.”

A chilling shock washed over the room. “It can’t be,” my mother screamed. “He was

here, in our house! He sat with us for twenty minutes! Bubbli saw him too. He blessed us


“Memsahib,” replied the stranger, “there must be a mistake. I was with Baba in the

morning when he left for the heavenly abode.”

It was then that my father spoke up.

“Baba came back to fulfill his promise and to bless us,” he said quietly. With tears in his

eyes he asked the man to make the best arrangements possible. “I will see you at the cremation

grounds to bid Baba farewell.”

Baba did pass away before ten o’clock the previous morning. Baba did come to our

house at three o’clock that same afternoon and we did meet him in full body presence after his

death. His coming in through locked doors and disappearing mysteriously were frightening and

shocking to me, but truly a blessing for my parents. Very soon after this amazing event, I would

accept death not as an end but as another turning. I now knew that not even death can stop a

determined Soul from fulfilling its promise.

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Chapter Two
The Family Years

“The Soul is born conditioned: Everything else after is an attempt to de-condition.”

Despite being born of a Sikh father and a Hindu mother and having had a Buddhist

Nepalese caregiver, my parents decided to send me to the most prestigious school in New Delhi,

the Convent of Jesus and Mary, where I was now taught by Catholic nuns. Here I was

introduced to Jesus Christ and Mother Mary. To say I grew up with multi-religious influences

would be an understatement!

Studying intuitively saves time and energy.

I was always looking for shortcuts as I found studies hard and boring. Despite having a

home tutor five times a week, I barely passed. My monthly report was full of words like,

“unsatisfactory, poor, very poor,” all except for moral science which was generally “very good.”

However, I did manage to pass every year and this was because early on I discovered a secret.

A few days prior to a final exam I would list the fifteen most important questions, six of

which would certainly be on the exam. Next I would close my eyes, envision the Divine Mother

and chant the Gayatri Mantra five times. This connected me to the other side. I would then run

my finger down the list and wherever I felt energy, I would stop and circle until I had circled six

questions. Then I would stay up at night and study five out of those six questions. This formula

never failed. I was usually eighty percent correct, and managed to pass with sixty-five to seventy

percent, enough for me!

“Stop pushing the girl Shukla! We don’t want her to be Indira Gandhi!3 What man wants

a wife who is Miss Know-It-All? ” my aunt would take up for me.

Indira Gandhi was the former Prime Minister of India, then broadcasting minister.

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Of course, she never said this in my father’s presence. “Men don’t respect stupid

women,” my mother would reply. “I am going to get the girls married early. I feel so stuck to this

house! I can’t go anywhere. Then I am going to Haridwar (a holy city) and will retire there. I

am tired of this world. I want to retire and be with God.” This is how she threatened my father

when he ignored her wisdom.

An Aerial Shot of My Simply Complex Family

Let no one ever say that simplicity is simple, at least not in an Indian household. It is

more complex than one can imagine, especially when the family includes uncles, aunts, cousins,

friends, and of course, neighbours. I grew up in a noisy extensive family with friends and distant

relatives, each one with an opinion. A hearty conversation meant everyone talking loudly at

each other simultaneously. As if this was not enough, there were ten to fifteen servants, maids,

chefs, chauffeurs, and some security. We had two dogs, and they did not hold back either,

always barking loudly to make their presence known.

Twenty-two Ferozeshah Road, New Delhi was my home, and a hub and haven for many

relatives. My father’s wealth and kindness and my mother’s warmth and generosity made it so.

Despite the personal conflict between them, they would resolve conflict for others. We hosted

eight weddings at our house each lasting a few weeks. Our servants called our home a hotel with

twenty-four hour room service!

I learned to share and give early; birthdays were a special affair that went on the entire

year. The day started with the family astrologer coming to recite prayers and bless us. We

would then visit the Hindu or Sikh temple and donate money to the needy. Then we would

accompany our mother to the blind school where we would distribute gifts like blankets and

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sweaters to every blind child. That evening, the chef would our make our favourite dishes for

dinner, and of course we had a huge birthday party for school friends. I loved the day and felt

special, yet I usually awoke uneasy that day. I always wondered if the birthday ritual was being

celebrated because my parents were truly happy to have me, or was it being forced upon them?

Either way, I felt the joy of being born and was proud and happy to be part of the family.

Religion forced me to think; spirituality offered me choices.

On my second day at school, I bought a small picture of the Mother Mary holding Baby

Jesus. I saw it as sort of a bribe. As I knew God could see everything, my buying pictures and

rosaries would certainly not go unnoticed by Christ.

Home life was full of activities, especially religious and spiritual. Once a month we

invited a Sikh priest from the Gurudwara, the Sikh temple, for Kirtan.4 Every Sunday after

family yoga, we had Puja, a fire ceremony with a priest chanting Sanskrit mantras. Then, once

every few days I paid a visit to Christ at the chapel, which was located in the school compound.

I lit a candle for better grades - of course without having to study! I also accompanied my

mother, along with a few other friends and relatives, to discourses held by enlightened teachers

and masters. My mother insisted the wise ones bless our home, so we had the privilege of

meeting many sages personally. These revered teachers often shared their wisdom through story

telling. I didn’t understand it all, but I would catch the story and take off with it. I would enter

the story and imagine myself present with the other characters, and in this way I had direct

experience of what was being taught. I would have my own dialogue and come to my own


After the discourses, I made it a habit to touch the Guru’s feet and ask for blessings. I

loved blessings. Every direct interaction molded me ever so slightly, and certainly every
Kirtan: Singing praises to God.

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visitation helped develop a new way to look at things. Since the stories we heard were about

Indian Godheads, prophets, poets, Buddha, and enlightened masters, I thought it best to get to the

top and hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. I would quickly set up a connection with

Buddha or Christ or any other master, ask direct questions, and then put their wisdom to the test.

The results were startling. I got proof and along with it, a newer way to perceive. I truly began

to believe in someone or something that was on my side, watching over me and caring for me.

This thought was comforting.

I cherished every meeting with wise ones, both in the physical and subtle realms. I often

wished I was free of chores and school so I could just live off the inner communication. If my

mother’s dream was to fulfill her responsibilities and then take off to Haridwar to be close to

God, then why couldn’t I do the same now? Why should I work hard to build a complicated life

with activities and people, and then after all that, work on becoming detached? Embarking on a

long journey of hard work and then later giving it up to be simple made no sense to me. But I

was still young; what did I know about life? I learned to turn off such thoughts and keep my

mouth shut; being the youngest of the four daughters did not qualify me for an opinion.

I learned early to question and doubt all external information and take everything with a

grain of salt. Only if it made sense inside, it was real. My inner communication and connection

was warm, kind, loving, and effortless. But that was not the case with the external, where I had

to fight to establish my identity, fight for love and for approval. To just get noticed meant

having to go over so many others who were older, louder, and bolder. The pretense and drama

required just to be noticed made me insecure, sad, and angry. The anger was directed more at

me rather than others. As much as I took refuge in crying, I hated seeing tears in my eyes. I also

noticed I could change the way I felt just by looking into the mirror, which brought an instant

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halt to feeling sad or even bad. I would wipe off my tears, saying to myself, “It’s okay, you have

the power to stand alone.”

Moments like those actually set me free and lightened the burden. In fact, I felt at my

best. I would take full responsibility, do everything because I wanted to and not because I was

being ordered or asked. I was like a self-governing machine with the engines turned on. At

these times I felt a force pour out of me, and I gave the best performance.

My sixth sense improved a lot with Om Baba’s mantras. The more I recited them, the

better I became. I developed the empathic ability to check how people around me were feeling.

I noticed almost everyone I met felt a certain way, but expressed something else. I came to

believe they were either purposely lying, or were thoroughly confused. Seeking answers I would

ask questions, but sometimes I thought I was losing my mind.

Shukla, My Mother

As much as my mother’s spiritual influence helped me find inner peace, her nervous

mind would soon destroy that peace. She suffered from the ‘abandoned wife syndrome’ and

could not feel my father’s love. She started by feeling low, then she became depressed, and then

finally very sick. She developed bad nerves, hypertension, and diabetes. I would be by her side

comforting her, but with time the disease got worse. I felt responsible because it was after my

birth that things got really out of hand. Not fully realizing it, I had started to share her feelings -

both of faith and mistrust. She connected me to God but the connection was through pain, a

pattern that would last for many years.

Faqir Chand, My Father

My father was another story altogether. Although I recall few direct conversations or

interactions with him, he was one person I did not need to check; to me he was real inside and

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out, and I adored him. He had a unique relationship with the Divine. Every morning after his

bed tea, he would dress and go to the Sikh temple. He would bring back the Prasad,5 in this case

blessed Halwa, an Indian sweet, to share with everyone in the household including the servants

and dogs. I often saw my father bow his head in surrender, but he never prayed or asked for

anything. Instead, he would ask the visiting priests and gurus if they needed anything. He rarely

mentioned ‘God’, and I seldom heard him discuss philosophy or any ideology. He never spoke

of money or goals, he was just always there.

My father worked a long day. He practiced company law and was a renowned divorce

lawyer. His phone rang every few minutes which disturbed everyone but him. His clients

consisted of movie stars, politicians, newspapers, and mainstream businesses. He believed in

resolving conflict through mediation; litigation would be the last resort. Evenings, he would

share drinks of scotch before dinner with any houseguests, and this is when we might become

privy to his most interesting interludes. His stories were of greed, deceit, and corruption; the

characters all lacked wisdom and intelligence. To this day, I believe my father opened the hearts

of many and brought them wisdom and knowledge. He empowered and inspired everyone he

met. He often said, “Give the client enough time to went out and they will respond with


He provided us with everything, and that is considered being a good father in the eastern

tradition, but he rarely spoke directly to me. He once received a call from my school principal.

Apparently, the parent’s signature on my report card was suspicious. That month I’d had an

Prasād: Sanskrit: is both a mental condition of generosity, as well as a material substance first offered to a deity (in Hinduism)
and then consumed (Hinduism and Sikhism). Literally, a gracious gift. Anything, usually edible, given by a saint, Perfect Master
or the Avatar to their followers. The Prasad has the deity's blessing residing within it. Wikipedia

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exceptionally bad report and, afraid to show it to my parents, I had signed my mother’s name.

The teacher reported me to the principal immediately.

“Mr. Bedi, this is Mother Catherine from the Convent of Jesus and Mary. We have

reason to believe that your daughter, Ruby, forged her mother’s signature on her monthly report

card. When can you come to the school to meet with me?”

Before she could continue my father interjected, “Sorry, you must have the wrong Bedi.

I don’t have a daughter by that name,” and hung up on her.

That evening at home, my mother did not miss the opportunity to confront him.

“You have no interest in your home,” she began. “You don’t even know your daughter’s

name or her grade! What good is having all this money when you have no time for your

family?” My father smiled back, “When did Bubbli become Ruby?” My mother just gave up.

My mother’s nagging and complaining grew worse with time, but I was still proud to be

my father’s daughter. I would listen when my mother tried to influence me against him, but

inside my mind was made up. I loved my father; I wanted his intelligence and wisdom. Along

with his rich brown complexion and glowing skin, I desired to be famous and wealthy like him.

I wanted to be humble like him, but more than anything I wanted his peace, strength, and

courage. I wanted to hug him and express my love for him, but the guilt that I may have robbed

him of his last opportunity to have a son held me back. Even though he never expressed it, I

believed that blame must be there. I hung around him like a little puppy, especially on Sundays,

the only day he was home for brunch.

My name leads me through wild and unknown pastures;

wherever I go I am with myself.

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“Daddy, Daddy, I want to be like you. I want to do something good and make you proud

of me. I have decided I will always keep my last name, Bedi, and then everyone will know I am

your daughter,” I announced as I plucked out the only silver hair from his eyebrow.

“How can that be?” he responded. “Your name will change after you marry, and then

you won’t be a Bedi.”

“I will get married but I will keep my name,” I insisted.

“What if your husband doesn’t allow you to be Bedi?” he asked.

“Then I will leave him.” I was determined that the only way to be my father’s daughter

was to hold on to my name, Ruby Bedi.

Torn Between Two Worlds

While growing up, I shared my bed, room, clothes, house, even my schoolbooks, but the

one thing I shared with no one was the secret of my inner world. No one knew of my

connection, communication, or my inner friends. I wasn’t sure if others would believe me, and

as I was constantly struggling for attention, I did not want to endanger my credibility.

The split, however, was becoming deeper between the internal and the external. One

Ruby was consistently going through moods and motions of change- she was happy or sad,

peaceful then restless, but the other Ruby was free of emotion and sentiment. She was part of

something big; she felt the connectedness and flowed with communication. For a girl not yet in

her teens the two worlds were overwhelming, and I experienced both states simultaneously.

In my inner world I fit perfectly. I knew the ground rules and the operating principles

and was compatible with the creating force. I was an observation in myself also a natural mover

of energy and transformation. The inner world was lighter, full and friendly. There was no

question or doubt, just a force and a flow. It was a true sense of belonging. It was home.

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The external world was different. I had to behave a certain way to be seen and be liked.

I needed to prove and struggle to secure myself. I had to compete and do better than others.

Aggression and oppression were natural phenomena here; everyone kept their houses and hearts

locked. Communication was muffled and unclear, vision was shortsighted, and thinking blurred.

What was natural in the inner world was effort here. I felt divided, and the split was tearing me

apart. Without realizing it, I was falling through the cracks. I developed asthma and severe

allergies and often took to my bed with a high fever.

I had a burning desire to be alone, but feared being alone. I was fearful of entering some

space and not being able to come back. What if this is all in my head, I wondered? What if I

lose my mind? I began to feel crazy, and this is when something crashed and I fell deep into

darkness. The first signs of depression were feelings of dejection, loss of interest, cynicism, lack

of joy, lethargy, and silent rebellion. They went unnoticed for a while until I began to manifest

the physical symptoms. My sick days and visits to the doctors increased. Neither allopathic nor

homeopathic medicine helped. This pattern was familiar, I was acting like my mother. The

beautiful secret that had once empowered me became the curse that would stay with me for

years. I began saying things I did not mean; I was not true to others or myself. I yearned for a

friend I could be totally honest with. I was becoming like others I neither trusted nor liked.

All through school, I followed my secret formula to secure enough marks to enter another

grade. At the beginning of each school year, I always worked hard with a structured discipline.

I promised myself I would study each day, each week, and each month. I was certainly capable,

but I was not strong enough to fight the lethargy induced by depression. At times I would

become possessed by an idea of becoming something, but it was always short lived.

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As I grew, so did my parents’ problems. By now, my mother was at war with my father.

He began coming home later and later and would leave early. My mother’s neurosis got worse.

She began having severe panic attacks and her blood pressure rose to a record high. I stood by

her side and watched her suffer. Between all the emergencies, summoning doctors, chasing my

father and demanding he return home immediately, I would console my pain-stricken mother. I

cried with her and for her. But no matter how much care and attention I offered, it was not

enough. I found ways to cope with pain; hers and mine. All my sisters were now married and I

was the only one still at home. But despite constant threats, my mother never left my father or

went to Haridwar. She surrounded herself with a full-time nurse, and because of either the

medication or the depression, she isolated herself completely.

There is always a Way Out

”Fly away Soul! Whereever you land, will be home!”

I was now eighteen and it was at this very low and desperate point that I agreed to an

arranged marriage with my second cousin. It all happened very quickly. Within three weeks of

meeting him, I was engaged and then married. A few months later, I landed in Calgary, Alberta,

Canada to start my new life. It was 1969. With me, I had a new wardrobe with the choicest

jewellery, a new person who would offer me the life many could only dream of, and going to

North America could bring about the freedom I desired. I was thrilled and ecstatic when nine

months later, I gave birth to a little girl we named Rachna.

Still in my teens, I struggled to be a responsible mother. When Rachna’s second birthday

arrived, so did my depression. Again, I started to lose interest, and this time fell even deeper into

the cracks. I made excuses, lied, and the pretence soon became the veil I hid behind. I began

having migraine headaches. The allergies returned with a passion and I found refuge in sickness

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and now had a good reason to withdraw and hide from others. Eventually, I thought perhaps

having another child might help. Seven years after Rachna, I gave birth to my daughter, Sona.

Holding her in my arms, I squeezed her tiny hand in mine and she responded with a gentle

squeeze. I knew then that I would not be able to hide for too long, sooner or later I would have to

accept my responsibilities and make responsible choices. This realization triggered more stress

and anxiety and despite two beautiful girls, a comfortable family life, and a beautiful custom-

built home on a hilltop, I was sad and felt helpless and out of control. I really did not know what

was wrong. I kept looking for the wrong, and it was during this time that I lost my mother. She

was only sixty-one when the hypertension, diabetes, and debilitating depression finally took

over. One day she closed her eyes and was gone. It was the end of an era of pain and suffering.

Seeking help for depression, I requested a family friend, a general surgeon with a busy

practice to help me, which he did. He offered to help me with hypnosis. Soon he was

hypnotizing me, prescribing medication, and giving me plenty of personal attention. In sessions

with him, he concluded the root of my suffering was probably my husband and poor marriage. I

was already feeling caged in an institution where I had no freedom to explore my being. My

young husband was bound in traditions, and had no interest in his wife being an independent

woman exploring some unknown familiarity. It felt good to find a reason and the longer I

worked with my doctor friend, the more I realized my need to be free.

In my inner heart, I felt responsible for creating the circumstances that would justify a

separation. In a few honest moments, I could admit it was not my marriage or my husband, but

me who was sick. The two minds were battling, and between the two thoughts I became confused

and crazy. Now I had developed a severe sleeping disorder and suffered from panic and anxiety

attacks. Although my breakdown seemed sudden, the truth is it had been building for more than

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fifteen years before I collapsed, by the end of which I was alone. In 1986, after eighteen years,

my marriage dissolved and I also walked away from my doctor friend. I had no work but a bad

nervous breakdown. I became physically fatigued with joint pain and ended up gaining thirty

more pounds.

Now I had good reason to cry, which I did heartily. Despite the freedom I now had, it

was the beginning of extreme humiliation and shame. I was burdened with guilt and felt

responsible for the entire breakdown. I was ridiculed and looked down upon by my family and

community. The pain and emotional suffering that followed took root and began manifesting in

my physical body. I began developing symptoms that could not be understood or even

diagnosed. I was ashamed that despite my earlier connection with Spirit, and still having some

awareness, I could not save myself from this disaster. I created suffering for myself and two

other innocent Souls. I could not escape the silent pain in Rachna’s face and the distress and fear

in Sona’s big piercing eyes. I knew I had to do something soon to save my family from further


Starting Over

I set up a new stage. I gave myself another chance to resurrect my life. I started a

fashion accessory and fine jewellery business with two retail and wholesale stores. I bought a

new BMW hoping to drive away from the old memories.

I invited my cousin, Vinod, from Dubai to live with us in Canada and take care of my

girls whenever I was away. For the next five years, I travelled while I sought the bright star, the

young child lost within me who was magical and creative. While on buying trips to India and

Southeast Asia, I made a point to seek out holy persons, yogis, astrologers, and even psychics

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and channellers. I had a strong intuition that something major was about to happen and soon my

world would change. And that I would be cut loose from everything I took to be real.

The business I had so eagerly started was starting to dwindle as I became more and more

possessed by what was about to come rather than what I had at hand. Eighteen months later, the

business and I were both struggling and whatever money I had was coming to an end.

I was shocked when my accountant informed me that he could try to make a deal with the

bank and the tax department and save me some embarrassment. Not quite ready to accept defeat,

I fought for another six months. With one eye on the business, the other kept searching for the

life I was meant to live.

Madras Baba

“God speak to me; I am listening.”

Later that year I was attending a leather garment exhibition in Madras, India. There I met

Meena, a young vibrant business woman from Madras. We bonded immediately and got


“Meena,” I queried on a note of desperation, “Do you know any enlightened sage or even

a good pundit here in Madras? I need help.”

“Indeed, there is one old sage who lives not far,” she replied. “He is hard to get hold of

and I hear he does not travel to see anyone. I will send a message and see what I can do.”

The next morning the front desk called me. “Madam, there is an older gentleman here

asking for you.” “Please send him up,” I answered quickly, silently thanking Meena for sending


Moments later there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find an old man who

appeared to be in his early nineties. Except for his eyes, he could have walked out of his grave.

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I looked into them and it was like I had jumped into a deep ocean. He was more bones than flesh

and reminded me of Om Baba. This certainly was the sage Meena had spoken of. I welcomed

him and handed him my horrorscope.

“Child,” he began, “you live far away from India in a big house on a hilltop; you have

two girls who are being looked after by your brother. He is right now cooking dinner for them.”

I was shocked at his accuracy. My cousin, Vinod, was responsible for the girls and their

food while I was away. The yogi was right; it was dinner time in Calgary, and Vinod surely

would be cooking for them right now.

“Baba, tell me more,” I invited.

“You have started a business, now you will trade tea, but you will give it all up when you

meet God.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “I am not searching for God. I just want to know if I will

get married again. Will my girls be okay? Will I have enough money to look after my family?”

Baba smiled and spoke softly, “You have a rare ability to see God; I mean in all people

and things. Child, with a gift like this, why do you want to do any other business? Connect

people to God and make them see what you see, and that will be your business.”

“But Baba,” I argued, “I have been in so much pain. I have lost so many things. I don’t

want God. I just want a decent life I can manage. Never mind, Baba, just tell me what will be of

my girls?” I wanted answers.

“You have suffered, you are burdened with shame and guilt, you are sick, and you have

lost your savings. Now all of this will come back when you meet God. Child, open the door and

let God in,” Baba insisted. “When you meet Him, your true business will start. You will make

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more than what you want and your health will be restored. By the way, you have a lot of loans

and a pending legal suit. Is that correct?”

“Yes, Baba.” The revelation sent shock waves through my body.

“Return home, Child,” he instructed. “Look after your girls. God will find you and all

your loans will be paid. Also, Girl, you should know you have a very pure Soul and anyone who

fights you is fighting God. The man who is in litigation with you is soon to become bankrupt.

He is on his way out of the country.”

He handed me a rosary and assured, “It will help you sleep well. And by the way, are

you reciting your Gayatri Mantra? The Divine Mother tells me you are not.”

There was nothing more to ask or say. Baba had said it all. Even though I did not

understand how a loan or a case could disappear, I believed I was on my way to recovery.

“One last thing Baba,” I asked as he rose to leave. “Can I reach you if I need you?” I

spoke as I bowed down to touch his feet for the blessing.

“Yes, and if it’s not me, someone will appear for you,” he said, giving me a number. His

eyes were half open.

“Open the door and let God in…”

Fingering the rosary he had given me, I felt a strong bond with it. Then I remembered

that just a month ago in Calgary I had lost my wallet that for so many years had carried Om

Baba’s holy ashes.

Upon reaching Delhi, I met with a friend of my brother-in-law. This man owned a prime

tea estate near Calcutta and Assam, and said to me, “Why don’t you try selling some of our high

quality tea? I can send you a shipment of fancy packages we are promoting for Christmas, and

you can pay me after you have sold it.”

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I was not surprised. Madras Baba had proven to be extraordinary, and I tried to reach him

that week at the phone number he had provided, but no one knew where he was anymore. So I

called Meena, the woman who had sent him to me.

“Do you know how I can reach your Baba?” I asked her.

“No, Ruby,” she sighed. “I do apologize, I wasn’t able to reach Baba. I didn’t call as I

knew you were leaving on the afternoon flight.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “ But Meena, I met with Baba in my hotel room before I left for


“Ruby, I didn’t send anyone” she argued back. “I was not able to reach him.”

A thrilling chill went through my entire being. I had stepped into my world of magic.

Now I knew I was being looked after. Nothing else mattered then except Madras Baba’s words,

“Go home and God will come to you.”

With hope renewed, I returned home to Calgary with Madras Baba’s rosary under my


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Chapter Three
The Awakening: A Dream Come True
“God! Find me, I don’t know where you are but you know where I am”

“Go home, God will find you!” It sounded strange, but possible. Those words began to

source a familiar energy. God could happen to me. Why hadn’t I thought of it earlier? What

could one want more than God, having God meant having everything, then I could give up my

search forever. The thought was tempting, and began drawing me inwards. And yet in the

background, I could hear a faint but cynical noise, “Do you really believe this is true?”

“I do. I do!” I spoke it out loudly to shut out the noise.

Within days the new idea found roots and began to sprout within me. Even so, I could

not fathom what meeting God would be like. And where would God find me, I wondered?

Should I stick around the house, or what? Feeling a bout of stress coming on, I took a deep

breath and reminded myself, “Ruby, don’t be stupid. God knows everything.” I stopped, but not

without a prayer.

“Dear God, I wish I knew where to find you, but you know where I am. Can you find me


Suddenly, images began flashing in my mind. There was the picture on the wall calendar

of fire pouring from Lord Shiva’s third eye; age three chanting Om; Om Baba, chanting Om

Namah Shiva in front of the holy fire; my mother’s last words “Om Namah Shiva.” These

startling images kept repeating with full force. They seemed so alive. I realized something

extraordinary was happening, and so I began to chant, “Om Namah Shiva,” this time for


The mantra took over and I was soon reciting it silently at work, and even while busy

with others. Then I realized it was not actually me chanting, but the mantra was being chanted

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through me. I was simply the channel. It felt weird, but I did not want to interfere with it.

One day my friend, Nas, called and invited me to a meditation class to be held at a

temple. Krishna, the public prosecutor, was taking the class. Prior to this, I had observed

Krishna in the courthouse arguing cases, he reminded me of a bull dog ready to attack. Now,

here he was again taking the class, this time attacking ignorance and forcefully impregnating us

with knowledge.

“Close your eyes and do not look at each other,” he instructed. “Remember you are here

for yourself. Let out the sound. Chant Om to be one with the universe, Namah to surrender, and

Shiva to let God in.”

So, this is exactly what I did. The chanting stayed with me all night, and I continued the

practice over the next days and weeks. It was during the third week of meditation when things

started to happen. I began to hear music – not outwardly but inwardly. I would smell fragrant

scents and feel the distinct presence of someone. One day while driving to work, I noticed the

trees lining the road were full of green leaves and in each leaf I saw the smiling face of Baby

Krishna (Lord Krishna). Realizing there was a force orchestrating this vision just for me, I

acknowledged the gift with joyful tears. In the distant skies, I would watch the dance of light and

sound, like two translucent bodies of light fondling, teasing and romancing. I could sense that

home was not just this space, my body and mind, and that I was the sensory resonance of many

galatic worlds.

Under Construction…Landing on the God-Side

I was still running two retail stores and a wholesale one, but I was starting to lose interest

in business. I had a distinct feeling that soon I would be giving it all up. Meantime, the faint

noise within continued gnawing at me, and now I could hear the voice clearly: “You are crazy.

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You are losing your mind and your business. You have children and loans. Wake up and be

responsible.” The voice was threatening and warning. It caused me fear and anxiety, and would

not go away even when I tried to talk it down and ignore it. I began avoiding my friends and

relatives, as they all seemed to echo the same warning.

“Ruby, get real, you owe a lot of money to the bank,” warned my cousin, Vinod. “If you

don’t make your monthly payments, you could lose your house and everything else.” Vinod was

still living with us and was such a great help with both the business and my girls. He was a very

quiet man, and usually it was like pulling teeth trying to get an opinion from him. So I knew I

was headed towards disaster, but I was possessed with another feeling that everything would be

all right.

“I know, I know, but I also know something is going to happen. Maybe I will lose

everything and maybe this is suicide, but my inner voice says everything is about to change.”

This would bring on the tears and old pain. “Vinod, you know I have been like the living dead

for so long. What’s the point in dying everyday? If God can’t save me now I might as well call

it quits. I refuse to suffer anymore. I have told God to come and I am going to wait until he


As much as I was determined, my fear was building. The idea of being with God was

making me nervous. I would lock the doors to the wholesale and retail stores in downtown

Calgary and sit on the sofa cross-legged trying to meditate. Then an inner voice would speak up,

“Don’t kid yourself, Ruby. Sitting doing nothing is lethargy, not meditating.”

I would feel uneasy and scared, but then I remembered Buddha was sitting doing nothing

under the Bodhi tree when he was struck with enlightenment. If it could happen to him, it could

certainly happen to me too. When God descends, all becomes possible. While sitting or

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meditating, whichever it was, I felt I was extending or bridging. “Under construction,” I was like

the path that had been torn, virtually ripped apart, but certain there was a new crossover in a

higher design on the way. Certain there was a designer higher than my will, I was counting on

something bigger than myself to land on the other side, “the God side”, I called it. With this

conviction, I reverted to my childhood wisdom. I stopped sharing my feelings and held my

secret close. I perceived God in both a personal and non-personal way; however, I could only

communicate in my own personal human way. He or She, the gender was not relevant; it was

my personal choice, but truth is that God exists and as long as I was connected and

communicating, I would be okay.

Falling in Love with God

“Sink into your Soul and it will lift you to the top.”

It was now May of 1992, and everywhere gardens were filled with bright coloured tulips.

Summer was just around the corner. I followed my intuition and decided to decorate my kitchen

in white and purple flowers. Soon I was following my intuition to eat, drink, and even choose

the clothes I wanted to wear. The more I listened to my inner voice, the stronger it became.

Before long, it was guiding every aspect of my life.

I was starting to experience a new relationship birthing in me, this time my lover was

God. This union with the divine seemed to be for centuries, and even though separated for a

time we were destined to unite. Through God, I became related to the entire universe, and this

unique union made me honour, preserve and cherish everything in respect and love.

This perspective and relatedness softened me and I felt kindness for the first time in

several years. The new kingdom I would inherit with my union with God would give me

everything I had ever desired. I realized my new role would be to nurture, support, and be

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responsible. The new romance was awakening a youthfulness within, yet maturing me. I

decided to live by the inner code. I shed tears easily; I cried when I remembered the pain of

separation and for the union.

The Gift Emerges

“Hey Ruby, do you want to attend ‘The Silva Mind Control’ workshop? I hear it helps

you to be psychic, I guess, intuitive.” This time it was my friend Cory calling. “You will learn

how to heal yourself and others, and even find lost things,” she chuckled.

“How much?” I asked, intrigued. “If it’s under five hundred, I’m in.” This was the most

I was willing to pay.

At 7:45 the next morning I was registering for the workshop. Twenty-two eager students,

over two and a half days, and on the last day we would work on each other and our instructor,

Mr. Sullivan. He was in his late fifties, bald and reserved. He introduced us to the Alpha, Beta,

and Theta states and then took us through meditations to connect us to the state where we could

access our inner intelligence. “Everyone is a healer and a psychic,” he said. “All the answers you

need are within.” I thought he knew more than he was willing to share.

I sat in the front row, determined that, unlike before, I would prove to be the best student

in the class. This was my opportunity to make up for lost time. I listened to every word and the

meanings in between. On the third day, it was time to practice. We began by entering each

other’s houses and then the physical forms, and here we would describe our findings. Finally,

our teacher tested us by giving us a name, birth-date, and address of a female. We each had to

go within, and then report our findings. I was fourth in line and after what happened that day, I

would never be the same.

"Mr. Sullivan,” I said upon my turn, while staring at the blank blackboard up front. “This

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woman has undergone some tests or a scan. I see the doctor, he is telling her there is no cause

for alarm, the results are normal. But I know it’s not. She has cancer; they just don’t see it yet.

Now I see her sitting in a country style living room. She is knitting and she is in peace but the

man next to her is not.”

Mr. Sullivan seemed shocked at what I was saying. “Are you sure,” he asked? “Describe

her body. What she is wearing? Tell me more about the room she is in. Ruby, tell me she will

be okay. Can you please give her healing? Will she be healed?” He was frantic and nervous.

“Yes, the dark cloud over her will heal her.” I spoke from another space. I offered more

details and then suddenly I stopped. “I am sorry, Mr. Sullivan, I cannot say more. But the man

next to her will also come into peace.” My eyes then filled with tears and I was not alone. Mr.

Sullivan was openly weeping. What he had not told us was the woman was his wife. Six

months later, she passed away.

Before we left, he said to everyone, “Please do not expect to see what Ruby sees. Her

gift is more than her age. She has connected to knowledge from past lives and it is possible that

during deep meditation she made the connection. What you saw is not Silva Mind Control


And just like that, another chapter opened for me. I started to play with the gift. I could

move back and forth in time, see past, present, and future events. I could see into a tree, a plant,

a flower, a dog or cat, and people - dead or alive. I became possessed by the gift and began

experimenting with it as much as I could.

Rachna and Sona and Vinod were the first few I revealed it to. The girls would sit on my

bed in the evenings after dinner and give me names of their friends. I would then check in and

share my findings. I had no idea this sharing would be the first step towards healing. Rachna

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was now a young woman. My girls were able to sit with me, look at me, and be comfortable.

We laughed and shared our feelings. My new status as “the healing mom” gave me the courage

to face the demons and reach out to my daughters, whose innocence had been victimized by my

actions. I remembered their sad, fearful faces, the big teardrops rolling down their cheeks, afraid

to question me, to ask me what was next. When the marriage broke up, they had fallen instantly

from abundance into lack. I remembered Madras Baba’s words, that it would all come back.

However my thoughts went out to other children who are helpless victims of their parents’

decisions. I was so grateful that my sudden connection was healing us and working wonders.

Now, rather than slipping into withdrawal, I was full of anticipation each day as I waited

for my daughters to return from school so we would resume our investigative and healing

sessions. I knew this was not all, there was more and I was waiting. Then, within weeks of this

episode, Vinod left us to return to India. I continued chanting, and now I made a list of all my

desires. The first list was too vague so I discarded it and became more specific. But truthfully, I

wanted, needed, and desired only one thing, and that one thing was God.

Lightning Strikes: A Dream Come True

“I felt a luminous God-force, full of compassion and love pouring through me like a great

rushing river.”

It was now the first week of October. In the middle of the night I awoke suddenly,

jumped out of bed, and sat on the meditation carpet in my bedroom. I began to chant loudly, and

soon electric currents were flowing through my body. I began shaking and vibrating so

profusely I was unable to stop. Tears poured down my face as I found myself looking into an

eye that was pouring fire. My own third eye began tingling and burning as the light penetrated it.

I heard myself weeping like an abandoned child whose parents have finally returned home. The

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force descending into me was taking over and touching parts of me I did not know existed. A

lifetime of anger and hurt were being replaced with the most exquisite love and joy.

Soon I gave up control and slipped into simply observing. I heard myself say, “Why did

you take so long? Why did you abandon me, why did you make me suffer? I needed you. I

almost gave up my life.” The sobbing continued and so did the shaking. After a while, I

dragged myself across the room and into my bed.

Shirdi Sai Baba Appears

“You are a healer.”

There was no emotion, only motions as the electric currents continued to shock my entire

system. I lay in bed awake and trembling, but eventually lost awareness and probably fell into a

deep sleep. I was awakened by an old man, maybe in his late eighties. He touched me on the

forehead, rubbing my third eye and then sat at the foot of my bed. It was now about 4:30 a.m. I

was still in deep presence, a state I am unable to fully describe, except to say I felt a luminous

God-force, full of compassion and love pouring through me like a great rushing river. My tears

were still flowing, but I made no attempt to wipe them away. I felt like a mother who delivers a

beautiful baby after a long drawn out pregnancy and hard labour.

“Don’t be afraid,” I heard the old man say, telepathically. “You will get to know me and

many others who will come to support you in your work.”

“What work?” I wondered. We were communicating without words.

“Healing,” he answered.

“I can’t heal,” I thought.

“You will be shown,” he assured me.

“Who will believe I am a healer?” I asked.

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“They will be shown,” he said. “You will have visitations from many masters,” he

continued. “Each will awaken and support you in your healing work. You may not recognize

some of them, but be assured everyone who comes is here to heal you, as you will heal others.”

There were no thoughts exchanged after that. The Master sat in silence and I lay there

absorbing his presence for hours, with waves of currents passing through me. When I finally got

up to walk, I had lost my balance and could not feel the ground under my feet. I fell to the floor

and remained there in a trance for hours, at least until my daughters returned from school.

The girls and a friend took charge. I stayed home for over ten days, getting up only to

use the facilities. I lived off soup and toast which they brought to me in my bedroom. I was

mostly in an altered state. I had no appetite, nor the urge to communicate externally; there was

enough going on internally. I lay on my back, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Visions of

several saints and Masters at work in different parts of the world at different times would pull me

into that time and space. I would become one with them. Soon I would be mumbling messages

or realizations out loud. My body temperature would change, my pulse bounced around, but I

would not move. I felt I was receiving knowledge and information at high speed by actual

experience. It was only after each experience that I would notice the perceptual change. I was

transforming rapidly. It is impossible to recall all the experiences because at that time my mind

was not fully engaged. I was simply experiencing, and for that reason, I later found it hard to

recapture the events. Any attempt was at best a guess or my take on what happened; no wonder

at different times I would describe the same event in different ways. With only my memory to

count on, the facts seemed to take on a fictional sense.

“Ruby, here, my father sent a photo of Shirdi Sai Baba, a saint and healer,” said my

friend Bina when she came for a visit. “He said Baba told him in meditation this morning to give

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you the photo,” she continued, showing it to me. “Here, let’s place the photo on your side table;

this way you can watch Baba as he protects you.”

I recognized the face. It belonged to the old man who had come for my awakening. Sai

Baba is a saint and a healer who passed on in 1978. With hundreds of temples dedicated to him,

he is worshipped by millions. I felt honoured that Baba had come to me as a compassionate

father to shower his love and blessings upon me.

In the Company of Christ

Along with many other paranormal experiences, my body would often go from extreme

heat to cold and vice versa within a short period. On one of these occasions, while I was burning

with heat, raising my pressure up, and finding it hard to breathe, I had a visitation from Jesus

Christ. I looked up to find him standing right at the foot of the bed. Again, the message was

similar. “I am here to help you. Keep your focus on me and be in my presence. Remain with

me and soon the fever will come down and you will regain your strength.”

He said I would have to endure the physical discomfort, but soon I would understand. I

realized my physical body needed to shift for a deeper transformation to occur. He said he

would be with me, and I would remain in his frequency for forty days, by the end of which I

would manifest the energy needed for healing. He told me to borrow my friend Sandy’s Bible

and place it on the side table. He even told me where she would find it. Sandy confirmed the

location, and soon the Bible was placed on the table.

That night in my vision, I entered an old building that seemed like an ancient temple of

sorts. It had a central hall and was pitch dark except for the light of a single candle burning on

an altar, upon which lay an old scripted text. I knelt down in front of it, surrendering to the

sacred knowledge. At that moment, I heard lightning and the beating of rain and wailing of high

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winds flipping the pages of the text. I could see the text outside yet the pages were flipping

inside me. I don’t know exactly how long I was there, but soon enough I was back lying in my

bed experiencing the storm within me. I moved from side to side on the bed trying to sustain the

lightning, rain, and stormy winds within me. The flipping pages were awakening memory of

events I had experienced before/ It seemed like the temple, the text, and everything that was

happening had happened before. This experience rekindled an old flame along with surfaced

knowledge and wisdom of the ancients. I remembered Christ’s words when he asked me to keep

the Bible next to me. “You have everything you need within you,” he said. “Being in the

company of the sacred will help re-awaken your own inner sacred text.”

Second Birth Awakening

“The miracle had happened, although it would take time a long time to comprehend it.”

On the morning of October 5,1992, one flash of light had birthed a new Ruby. The old

one was simply extinguished and disappeared, as the new one arose and took her place. The

miracle had happened, even though it would take a long time to fully comprehend it. Even in the

weakened and somewhat confused state I was in, I felt a familiarity with what was happening.

Baba, Christ, and others who were helping me were there to support a mutual purpose. I was one

of them, and I guessed it was probably my turn to awaken, and then help others awaken. The

bond I was experiencing was deeper than what one would feel for relatives and friends. It was “a

oneness” that arises from being one with, or being part of, or being the same as. Different faces

and different times but similar resonance with love and purpose; and maybe that’s how I could

easily access their beings and be their presence. This presence was vibrating within me too, but I

had not consciously connected with it earlier. Either way, I was thrilled and uplifted.

The new Ruby had awakened with another gift, the ability to see and recognize. At first,

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it felt like being psychic or intuitive, but soon I realized I had the ability to see into the Soul and

experience everything they had. I had knowledge of their origin, history, and chemistry. I could

read their blueprint and see their Soul design; thus I knew their past, present, and future. I knew

more about them than they were conscious of themselves. What was intuitive before was now a

knowing, and the gift I would later enjoy most was the wisdom and intelligence to alter an

outcome. To me it was the spiritual science of being. It went beyond physical and mental. One

stroke can wipe off what is no longer needed and bring on what is required, and that to me was

magic. A spontaneous transformation that occurs naturally without effort, that shifts who you

are and what you represent, that relieves you of the burdens, enriches you with awareness,

purpose, compatibility and harmony can only be an act of God. I was naive then and did not have

full recognition. But I think I did meet God on that blessed day.

The experiences continued as I had visitations from different saints, masters, and

enlightened beings. Each one embraced me into their presence, showered me with gifts and

blessings, and left me with special abilities to create richness in others and in me. Overnight, I

would inherit my very own kingdom where I would set rules and principles that suited me and

were for me. I finally had a home for my inner world; it was no longer a space or an ideology

out there; it was physical, tangible and real, it was my very own body.

However, it was all new and I was experiencing new vibrations and a new frequency. I

was learning to facilitate and communicate, this time multi-dimensionally. Every word would

reflect knowledge and awareness of different dimensions. I had become part of a mission with

several other movers and shakers; and now it was time to go to work. Once there, I would get

more proof of what was happening. But I felt unstable, I was very weak, and my nerves were

terrible, and before I could return to work I knew I needed some kind of help.

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One day as I was sharing some of my travels and meetings with masters with my friend,

Julie, she became concerned. “Ruby,” she said, “you must protect yourself. There are

dimensions you should not enter without protection.” I knew she was right as I was starting to

experience negative and disincarnate entities, and although they were looking for healing they

were troublesome and draining. I was aware I could become trapped. The visitations from souls

who had departed from the physical world with unfinished business or who had left behind pain,

trauma, unanswered questions and confusion were especially draining. My time and space was

filled with entities giving messages and information for their loved ones. I was tired but could

not stop the channel. I was afraid that I was caught in an unfamiliar dimension, I needed help

before I lost my mind.

“You must see Dr. Noel,” she said, giving me his card.

Help Arrives

I met Dr. Noel at his holistic centre in Calgary. He was a homeopath and metaphysician

and I was impressed by his knowledge and skills in the healing arts. His interest and

experiments began as a child and now as a master, he taught and helped others with his unique


He showed me around his holistic center and introduced me to few of his colleagues,

acupuncturists, naturopaths, Reiki Masters, massage therapists, and different energy healers. He

listened to my story and understood everything I was experiencing. Nothing was beyond him.

He was not surprised when I told him about visitations from masters. “Ruby, if you feel you met

Jesus Christ then that’s who you met. Follow the message and go back to work and see what


“Do you think I am going crazy? If I actually lose my mind I’m going to kill myself.

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Whatever I am seeing and experiencing, is it real?”

He would just shrug his shoulders and say, “If you believe it is real, then it is. But if you

don’t live out your belief, then you will be crazy for sure. I will help you become strong to do

your work healthily but I do want to warn you that this is not easy, many a healers have lost their

grounding working as channels. You need control over what comes through your channel, you

need boundaries and a lot of strength and self discipline.”

“But, it is all of God. Why do I need to take so much precaution?” I asked.

“Trust me Ruby, the spirit world is more than one can fathom. Look at yourself, you look

possessed, you are loosing control of your mind and sleep. You need rest.” He took instant

control. That evening he brought over herbs and homeopathic remedies and soon requested his

healer friends to give me treatments in my house. I still suffered from anxiety, shakiness, and

loss of energy. I could not get up from the bed, cook or take care of the girls. My friends and

Noel made arrangements for food and other necessities. They brought different spiritual and

metaphysical literature and read to me till late hours so I could understand and be comfortable

with my condition. They gave me special prayers that would strengthen and protect me.

Noel’s presence and direct experiences with forces still unknown to me lessened my fear

of the dark and unknown forces. He helped me when I felt stuck and trapped in other

dimensions. He showed me how to enter and exit with least bit of resistance. This was all new to

me, “There are ways to get what you want,” he said one day. “You can pray, ask, request,

command, or demand. It all depends on how strong you are, and of course, who you encounter.

You must build up your strength if you want to be effective.”

I felt I had friends on both the subtle and the physical planes providing me protection,

guidance, better health and spiritual well-being. I called Noel my bodyguard. When I offered to

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pay him for his time, he simply said, “Get better first, and we will talk about this once you are


I was a healer; I just didn’t know it!

On my third day back at the retail store, a woman in her thirties approached me and

asked, “How much is this handbag?”

Before I could respond to her question, I just blurted out, “How can you walk around

with that migraine headache?”

“But…how do you know?” She was a little taken aback.

“I can feel it. Also, you are allergic to some seafood you had, probably last night.” As I

watched myself, the words just poured out of me.

She moved closer to me. “Are you a psychic?”

“No, but I can help you.” I quickly brought her a glass of water, and said simply, “Here,

drink this and you will be fine.” Before handing her the glass, I visualized the water turning into

white light. I glanced quickly at Jesus, who at that moment stood beside me.

“And please don’t resign from your job. In a fortnight you will get the position you

want.” There was no reluctance; the message coming from me had purpose. She was stunned,

and muttered simply, “Thank you. I will be back.”

This mini session had tired me, and I could feel currents rising and falling within.

Heading into the back office, I collapsed onto the sofa. I looked at Jesus and blurted, “What the

hell was that?” He just smiled.

I shared the story with my girls that evening, and every evening after that. They loved

being part of my invisible world. It was magic to them and to me. Their faith would ground me.

A few days after the healing episode, my manager answered a call to the store.

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“I would like to make an appointment to see the healer,” the woman said.

“Who? I think you have the wrong number,” my manager replied, ready to hang up.

Quickly the woman explained, “I was at your store few days ago when this Asian woman healed

my headache. I want to book a session with her. How much does she charge?”

Putting her hand over the receiver, my manager repeated the message to me.

“Forty-five.” Noel, sitting beside me, threw out the amount spontaneously.

This was the beginning of the spiritual work that would become my life’s practice. Each

client felt thrilled, exhilarated, and comforted, and each referred at least five others. Soon there

were more spiritual clients coming to the store than customers! After a few sessions, I began

locking the front door so as not to be disturbed. Without realizing it, I would slowly shut the

door to the clothing and jewellery business, and open the door to the inner calling. Money was

not the consideration. I had put thousands into the business, but earning forty-five dollars doing

this work was more fulfilling than the return on the business. It sounded crazy, but I still

believed God would pay off the bank line of credit, and save me from the creditors.

The sessions were exciting. I never knew what to expect and shared everything as it

came from within. I would feel the presence of Masters who were guiding me to guide my

clients. Each session increased my awareness, and soon I mastered the art of communicating

using the specific, words, emotion and tone that would ignite some light in my clients. They

were touched and so was I. I felt what they felt. I felt intense compassion and love for my

clients. Not for a moment did I feel I was healing anyone; I just shared myself fully with them,

and out of the fullness came words, energies, and healing. I believed that one cell in everyone’s

heart was me. I realized that no person can heal, healing is truly beyond us; one can simply be

present and connected and hold the desire to help. Working with my clients, I was able to

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experience their journey, retrieve their gifts, connect with their masters and guides, and through

them I connected to my own parts and pieces that were forgotten and lay buried in the psyche,

waiting to be revived and awakened. I was starting to believe that what I was searching for was

always within me. The opportunity to travel in time and experience the past, this time

consciously was especially exciting.

“Soon you will access the ‘all intelligence’ and energy you need to do this work. Your

body may be weak, but you have the strength to live out the spiritual dream. It is of God, and

only that force can manifest your miracle.”

I now believed the messages from the visiting masters and healers. I certainly had

awakened to another life and another dream. Yes, it was the same body and the same

environment, but the mind was new with a higher level of intelligence, a new level of awareness,

and a very expansive perspective. The process was physically and mentally cumbersome and it

unfolded despite my fears, apprehension, and even lack of trust. My awakening was sudden. I

was like Cinderella, stepping into a ballroom of spiritual glamour and magic. Except this was no

fairy tale; it was real, true, and practical. And the party didn’t end at midnight; it continued

twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

Even though I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, I began working as a spiritual

advisor almost immediately. I set up a table and a couple of chairs in the back office of my retail

outlet, and the clients began trickling in. At first, I felt like a puppet being used by other spiritual

entities to deliver their intelligence. My physical body was an instrument through which the

purpose of a greater Soul flowed without interruption. I became the voice for disembodied

teachers, healers, and masters who now worked through my being. It may have looked like I was

alone, but I was in the company of many. Strangely, I could participate and observe at the same

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Within weeks, I expanded my office into my retail showroom. Most of my clients sought

pleasure or escape from pain. Only a few wanted true spiritual insight into the Soul. These few

wanted to know who they were at a deeper level, and what they were born to do.

My work was simple yet complicated and I fell into it rapidly, without hesitation. In a

few more weeks, I gave up my retail business altogether. Before I knew it, I had become part of

a healing project, which later turned into a way of living and a way of being. I knew I was being

watched and supported by greater minds to help my clients and myself.

Soon I began having visions – images, energy patterns relating to events and experiences

beyond our known space and time. All manifestation is physical and has history and chemistry,

and the visions gave me the inside story. I developed a way to decode the images and energy

patterns by feeling them with my physical senses, body and mind and retrieved the story that felt

most truthful to me. And I was accurate every time; my clients confirmed my findings. I had

become a Soul detective with insight into any mind and body and could resolve matters

internally with the help of the Soul.

Soon I was accessing Soul prints as well as their Soul purpose. After retrieving

information I would create visions for my clients to influence their chemistry, psychology and

physiology. Each vision had a personal story that served as spiritual medicine to complete, fulfill

and heal the clients.

This is when I took to writing. I would sit with paper and pen, and soon I could feel the

push or a force from within start to express itself on paper. I would follow the flow and soon

become conscious of what was being written. I would stop writing when the force began to

diminish. It was magical to experience the knowledge as I wrote. The content usually would

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give me history of events and behind the scene knowledge. My soul was becoming more and

more visible through these writings. In a matter of months, I had wisdom and knowledge of

many lifetimes.

The life I was now living was one I could never have imagined. Using my intention, I

was able to locate other Soul beings, entities, and guides in both the physical and the non-

physical realms and communicate with them. My intuition expanded by leaps and bounds.

Two years into my work as a spiritual consultant, I met Joan Churcher, a practicing

psychologist. Her interest in my work was triggered by a client of hers who decided to follow

my advice and suspend her therapy with Joan to heal her broken heart and marriage. It did not

take long for Joan to show up at my office for a session herself. I had instant recognition; I had

known her for many lifetimes. We were now back to complete the work we once started. I could

feel the stress of her ambitious soul trying to balance between darkness and light. The effort it

takes to hold that space makes the strongest vulnerable and fragile. Joan’s integrity outweighed

the struggles; she was ready to unburden herself. Joan made a conscious decision to put her

clients first, she referred almost all her clients to me and in turn I invited her to be present for

their past life sessions. We worked with over hundred clients to resolve issues relating to health,

relationships, and life purpose. Through their stories we had the opportunity to work on our

residual business. In Joan, I found a friend, a partner with whom I could share my inner world.

This is also when Joan inspired me to raise my fees from forty five dollars to seventy five.

“Joan,” I would call, “how about a session and some lunch at the Egyptian’s

Restaurant?” We would meet at least once a week at a small café whose owner Steve, cooked

something special each time we were there. Back in the office we would finish off by taking a

soul guided tour to visit friends and support others in need on other planes. I would start the

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session with a prayer.

“We pray to God, the holiest of the holy, to the sages and saints and masters who guide

us and protect us. Let there be light so we may see what we need to, give us knowledge and

wisdom to heal and awareness to fulfill our purpose.” With this, we would close our eyes and

within seconds our soul would transport us to where we needed to be.

Joan’s practice soon dwindled as clients found wings and the strength to fly. We were left

with touching stories and profound memories. “Joan, you must write about these experiences”, I

requested her in one of the sessions and so she did. She wrote about the healings and her

experiences Beyond Me: Secrets of a Practical Mystic, a book with over eighty case histories of


During this same time period, I met an interesting client, who later would become a

friend and also my doctor, Dr. Bruce Hoffman. I still remember our first meeting. He was pure,

beautiful and joyous. The image he invoked in me was of a young lad playing by the ocean side.

Holding onto the long string with many colorful balloons, he looks into the blue skies, smiles and

willfully releases the string allowing the balloons to fly everywhere. And then suddenly feels lost

and angry because now he has nothing to play with. His soul was very familiar, I knew him from

somewhere and knew that this was a case of deliberate naughtiness, souls like him manifest to

play a dual game. Externally they suffer the anguish of lost toys, thus unable to fully experience

their play, but inwardly they cherish the game of ‘lost-less-ness’. This hide and seek is a popular

game amongst creative soul artists. My challenge with Bruce was to keep a straight face and not

smile as he unfolded his story. He was probably the only client who was intense enough to hold

onto the mask for so long. I loved his brilliance and his play. He was a medical doctor with many

interests and he desired to explore them all. He had studied Ayurveda with Dr. Deepak Chopra

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and it did not take him long to sprinkle spirituality in his mix of healing. I didn’t quite

understand why he chose to see me so often; maybe this was his way holding on and embracing

his truth. All I could for him was to show him the mirror and that I did repeatedly. However, in

the process he mentioned my work to several of his clients who he chose to visit me. I had the

opportunity to utilize my gift with various medical conditions. I knew the modus operandi of the

Soul; it will create disorder and stress when it loses the conscious connection with the mind and

body organism. Sometimes a mere promise to honor the soul was enough to ignite the flame

within; other times I would have to investigate and revisit the experiences where the breakdown

occurred. Good health requires a person to be centered in their vital core, the Soul has to be the

master, the mind has to clear and doubt free and the body has to be alert, aware and awake. I

soon developed a three-step formula that would serve my gift of healing most.

Three Steps to Healing

During the first “getting to know” session, I would scan my client physically and

psychologically, their past, present, and future potential and purpose. I would listen as they

revealed their current problem and then advise them of my findings. Together, we would then

develop a plan to fulfill their dream lifestyle and their Soul Promise. During the second session

we would begin the “work”. I would awaken the presence of the masters and healers and then

work on their fears, weaknesses, and phobias and breakdowns. This is when I would remove

influences of either entities or any residual burdens and stresses. Once they were lighter, I would

facilitate their Soul connection. This session was usually the heaviest and the longest. The third

session was to develop their genius and awaken their one of a kind gifts. This sometimes meant

going into their past to retrieve blessings, knowledge and skill. I would give them the visions to

heal and align their mind and body to their Soul purpose.

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As I worked with hundreds of clients, I realized that in their release was my release, their

health influenced my health, and their Soul purpose strengthened mine. Truly this was of God,

for every time I met with someone I met with God, and every time I awakened someone to see

their own divinity, they showed me a bit of mine. I now understood what Madras Baba meant. I

was in business with God.

It seemed like my Source was a bottomless pit; the more I tapped into it and expressed it,

the more intelligence I was able to retrieve from it. I felt I was part of everyone’s life, and I was

in everything and everywhere. Each cell within me had the imprint of a child, born and unborn.

How could I not feel the responsibility of parenthood?

My work was unique, and as I touched so many hearts and Souls; I knew I was making a

difference. As I delivered vision after vision, many of my clients found health, wealth, purpose

and a home for their Soul. At the time I was content, confident I was doing what I was meant to


Doing this work engaged me twelve to fourteen hours a day. I saw hundreds of clients

and in my spare time I wrote and developed new ways of connecting and communicating.

Somewhere along the way, I noticed that my inner Soul friends and invisible partners took a

back seat, and I became the major driving force in my work. It’s felt like they melted into

nothingness after I had absorbed the gifts of their wisdom into my being; I was now strong and

able to work with large groups. I was starting to live the life I had been seeking. Once again I

increased my fees, this time to keep in line with Bruce Hoffman’s fees. It was interesting to

observe my inner and outer world as both simultaneously unfolded.

Working with the Masters

Communication is interesting; it is truly an interaction between the self with a dual

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appearance. So it was with the special friends who came to visit and support me. Their support

backed up my insights with the vibrational force needed for healing. Words need energy, force

and truth to manifest. I could feel subtle changes in my psychology and physiology. I could

enter dimensions previously unknown to me. Their love softened my body, my skin oozed with

beautiful fragrant scents. Each one shared few words of wisdom that went straight into my blood

stream and from there to the entire body. My insights became organic and physical. Every cell

embodied truth with flowing awareness. I was not thinking of truth but now living it.

Christ, Buddha, Ramana Maharishi, Rumi, Kabir, Albert Einstein, Guru Nanak, J.

Krishnamurti, Osho, Aurobindo, Pramahansa Yogananda, and many other philosophers,

scientists, sages, saints, poets and artists, continued to visit gifting me with enlightening


Jesus Christ: “ Heaven is within; God sits on the throne that bears your name.” I knew

right away what he meant. I started to meditate upon my name to go deeper into my divinity.

Buddha: “ Mastery or mystery; one seeks only what they know. If it is truth you seek;

then drop the thought that has lead you to the Self but has kept you from being the Self.”

Guru Nanak was the revered master whose teachings gave birth to Sikhism over 500 years ago.

He was Bedi, and I was told my family is directly descended from the same lineage. He

introduced me to alchemy of truth when he spoke of the God principle.

“ There is only one, it is God! God is everything. Dust turns into gold when you realize

the God principle.” I could feel in my flesh and bones the truth of this simple and most profound

message in each and every cell and I promised my self that I would not rest till my entire body

got converted from dust to gold. .

Aurobindo was an Indian philosopher and poet who passed away two hours before I was

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born. From him I received: “ We each walk our own path; we and can meet only in spirit. Don’t

follow my footsteps, they lead to my path, not yours.”

His few words freed me to hold onto my own way.

Ramana Maharishi: “Observe the is-ness and get to the no-thing ness. Therein lies the

gift of truth.” His words deposited me in a deep presence I had not experienced before.

Krishnamurti said: “ Observe the questioner and follow it to the Source. Your inquiry

and question will lead you to the Self ”.

Rumi, the great poet said: “Love God or dog, both will touch your Soul and make you

cry. Tears are proof that you are alive and are ready for more.”

Osho said: “If you want to play hide and seek, then you hide and let God seek you.”

St. Francis of Assisi said: “It takes many lives to know God, but one to know yourself.”

Parmahansa Yogananda said: “Whatever you need will find you, even God.”

Mother Teresa said: “Feed your soul by serving the hungry.”

With these simple lines, I was initiated into their truth and given direct experience of

being one with greater purpose. Their paths were different, each had their way to realize and

serve their truth. I felt blessed that these and others messengers had come to be with me. The

doors were open and I was being showered with abundance. Each one put me more in touch

with different aspects in myself. But even more than their words, what touched me most was

their love.

Back to the Physical

“Work alongside God and you will have everything you want.”

With my health now stable, thanks to Dr Noel, and my new business in place, I was

finally ready to face my financial situation. My one hundred and seventy thousand dollar line of

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credit tied to the retail stores had been weighing on me for months. The haunting phone calls

from my personal banker, Dianne, were frightening. She was a tough woman and rarely made

conversation; only demanded sales updates and explanations I could not give. My house was

backing up the loan and I knew I could lose everything.

Following my inner guidance and the words of the masters, “Work alongside God and

you will have everything you want,” I made an appointment with her. Dr. Noel, advised me to

look into her eyes, take her hands in mine, feel her heart, and be truthful. As I sat down with her

I was terrified. Mustering all my strength, I decided to come clean.

“Dianne,” I said, “I can’t pay the thirteen hundred dollar interest on my loan every

month. I don’t even know how I can ever repay this loan.” I was taking a big chance here. One

wrong move and she could call the loan and push me right into bankruptcy. But I needed to be

truthful. I told her I could no longer work at the retail business. God has spoken and given me

something else to do. I had accepted the position that was bestowed upon me, helping people.

“What do you mean?” she demanded, looking straight at me.

“Well, something strange happened to me,” I began. And then, despite my sense that she

was not an airy-fairy person and would believe nothing without tangible, empirical proof, I told

her everything. And when I was done, to my shock she asked, “Can you see entities? Can you

talk to dead people?”

“Kind of,” I replied hesitantly. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, my father passed away and in the past week he has come to me three times,” she

explained. “I mean in my dreams. I don’t know what the heck he wants and I don’t know too

much about how these things work, but I’d say he wants something,” she concluded.

“Well, maybe he has a message for you,” I offered. “Let me check.” Closing my eyes, I

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connected instantly with her father, retrieved his messages, and passed them on to her. Dianne

was simply shocked, she had really needed these messages. I later learned that, in addition to her

father’s recent death, her relationship was crumbling and she was suffering from a broken heart.

Thus softened by life, this tough lady who had terrified me began to weep.

Wiping her tears off, she said, “Ruby, I will defer your payments for six months and let’s

see what happens. Don’t worry about it, just do your work - I mean just help people.” And then

she sent me clients!

That six-month grace period just naturally extended to two and a half years. At that

point, I was able to sell a piece of property that I unexpectedly inherited and was able to pay off

the bank. Finally, I was off the hook.

Madras Baba was right when he had said, “Don’t worry. God will take care of the loan.”

Dianne’s freezing of the loan, not haunting me or even sending me monthly statements, but

rather supporting me by sending more clients was proof that miracles are possible when we rise

to our calling. I smiled as all she asked in turn was, “Ruby can you connect me directly to my


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Chapter Four
The Masters Put Me To Work

“Hold my hand and together we will walk through the garden of paradise.”

I had a distinct feeling the guides were supporting me for both my benefit and for their

own. By assisting me, they were fulfilling their own promises. This became evident as I

watched the subtle connection between my clients and their guides. For instance, when I had

visitations from Buddha, the majority of the clients who consulted me were Buddhist. These

were not people with strong religious ties, nor did they come seeking favors. Their goal was to

find peace and quiet their mind.

This three way interaction with masters, clients and myself was spontaneous and

simultaneous. The guides were facilitating health and wellness through me, as well as taking

care of old or unfinished business. I sensed the guides felt obliged to help their Soul groups and

elevate them to higher states. I was beginning to get glimpses of a deeper truth; purpose can

supersede the cycle of birth and death, and promises made in one life could take many lives to

fulfill. It was not just one master, but many seemed to be conducting business the same way.

Since the day Shirdi Sai Baba helped awaken me, I have attracted hundreds of his

devotees and helped them find peace and abundance. Almost every one indicated that Sai Baba

had led them to me in some way. These clients were not always Soul searching; they were often

looking for a quick and fast way to eliminate pain and suffering. They had blind faith in their

Guru, and believing me to have the same faith, they believed my devotion to their master would

create the miracle they were after. And it probably worked.

When in the company of Ramana Maharishi, I noted my work was more with

intellectuals. These people sought freedom from ignorance. They did not buy into blind faith;

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they sought higher states of awareness through new understanding.

Frequently, I found myself in the midst of situations beyond my control. However, they

probably worked out better than I anticipated, and each experience taught me to welcome every

opportunity to open the door to the unknown which would soon become my playground. The

rules of play were simple; live through inspiration and not fear or worry of outcome. This creates

the cycle of continuity and spontaneity.

“Be precise; God hears even whispers!”

Such was the case when I was in the company of Sathya Sai Baba from Puttaparti, India.

“Ruby, would you like to visit the Sathya Sai’s Satsang this morning?” said my friend,

Doug, when I answered the phone. “ I could pick you up in thirty minutes.”

“Sure!” I gulped down my hot tea and dashed for the shower. Standing before my open

closet, I considered my wardrobe. Purple it would be for that day I felt and twenty minutes later

I was ready at the door.

The prayer had begun when we got there. Not wanting to disturb anyone we sat in the

back row, I with the ladies, and Doug with the men, as is the temple tradition in India. After the

devotional singing and prayers, we were given Prasad. Just when I was about to receive mine, a

woman in her thirties sprang in front of me and bowed down, placing her head on my knee.

“Please, please help me,” she begged. “I have come here for you. I want your blessings.” Her

head was covered with her chuni6 and she was weeping. With no idea what this was about, I

began to comfort her as she explained.

“My name is Prema. I have been praying to Sathya Sai to help me find a job so I can

support the kids. I came from India few months ago and promised my sick sister I would help

take care of her three children. They are all under ten. A month ago, my sister died and I have
Chuni: Traditional Indian Head Scarf.

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no way of providing for them. Last night Sai appeared to me as I was praying and told me he

was sending help. And that the woman who would help me would be here, wearing a purple


“He even showed me a photo of you, in a brown crocheted dress. But your hair was short,

so it took me a while to recognize you. He said I must invite you home and then everything will

be okay.”

I was startled but confirmed, “Yes, the picture in the brown dress was taken last year

when my hair was shorter. It was on the cover of my book- The Divine I,” I finished.

Paying little attention to my words, she continued, “Sai said I must invite you home. Can

you come now?” She was very insistent.

I didn’t have the heart to refuse. “Tomorrow,” I promised her. That evening I connected

with Sathya Sai in my meditation, and this was the first time I would communicate with a master

still in his physical body.

“What was that about?” I asked. “You totally set me up! You really think I can get her a

job?” Sai smiled and said, “Yes, she is right, she will get a job.”

“But how?” I asked. I wanted in on the plan.

He just smiled, saying, “Do nothing, be present, and watch what happens.”

The next day I arrived at Prema’s house and at she took me first to her prayer room where

we bowed and sat in front of a picture of Sai. When Prema handed me a rosary from Sai’s

ashram, I could sense his presence in the room. I closed my eyes and quickly connected with Sai.

“Now what?” I asked. No answer came, so I knew I was on my own. I went deeper and

soon came up with a message for her.

“Prema, don’t worry; you have won God over with your pure heart. You will get a job to

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support yourself and the children. And the job will find you without you having to leave your


“But where will I work?” she pleaded. “I don’t speak any English.”

“Prema, remember anything is possible when you have God on your side,” I counseled.

“Stay home with your children and soon the job will find you.”

She would not let me leave without lunch and I was not surprised when she presented my

favourite Indian dishes. She served me and looked after me like she was serving Sai. I thanked

her, and silently Sai, for a delicious meal, and just when I was leaving she said “Ruby-ji,7 please

make sure I get at least eight- fifty per hour. I cannot look after the family for less.” I just

smiled and took my leave.

Two and a half weeks later, I came home to find a message from Prema on my answering


“Thank you Ruby-ji, I have a job!” I met a woman in the laundry room who has a

clothing store at Chinook Shopping Centre. She has hired me to do alterations. She lives in the

same complex so she will bring the alterations to me so I don’t have to leave the children. Oh,

yes! She will pay me nine dollars and twenty-five cents, more than what I asked for.”

“Thank you God, there is always more when you take over,” I said out loud. There were

other occasions this like when I was sure the guides had conspired to create the circumstances

that brought me together with their people. The healings and miracles that occurred were

probably part of some bigger plan. Although spontaneous, they were strategically orchestrated.

The fine precision timing made me conscious of a greater intelligence at work behind the scenes.

Having realized that it did not all depend on me, and there were other factors contributing

to miracles and healings, I felt less stressed and more relaxed. I had to laugh at the orchestration;
The suffix –ji is added to a name to indicate respect, often to a spiritual teacher.

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these guides were working overtime, and I was getting all the credit, recognition, and

acknowledgement; things I yearned to enjoy. What my parents and family had been unable to

give me was now coming from strangers in the form of flowers, thank-you cards, gifts, and

money. I loved it all, but feared that all good things must come to an end. But I was smart

enough not to miss the precious moment, so I soaked it all in. I would enjoy this attention and

special status as long as it lasted. I couldn’t help looking up and saying, “Hey, big fellow, you

did it again!” This was my way of keeping God interested and in the loop.

“Behind every miracle is a conscious intention and mindful planning.”

“In every sinner is a saint.”

A similar incident occurred while I was visiting Paramahansa Yogananda’s Self

Realization Fellowship Centre and temple in San Diego. After lunch, I sat with my cousin

Roma, on a bench overlooking the Bay area and thought how lucky the revered Guru, was to

have this beautiful sanctuary and gardens as his work place. Before I knew it, I was speaking to

him. “Lucky you, I wish I could work out of this space, and do work like you.” Just then I had a

vision of the master giving me a wooden rosary with turquoise beads, with a request to meditate.

As soon as I touched the wooden rosary beads I felt a silver blue light enter me bringing peace

and contentment. I was filled with love. A few moments later I felt the urge to move to the side


“This tree is pulling me,” I said to my cousin. “Let’s sit under here.” About ten minutes

later, I noticed a woman who appeared to be in her thirties heading towards us.

“Thank God you have arrived,” she said. “I’m Tammy. I’ve been waiting for three hours

and had almost given up. The last bus leaves in an hour and I have to return to Los Angeles for

my flight home.” She was speaking as if to a friend. Her eyes were red and puffy, clearly she

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had been crying.

Surprised, I said, “You must have the wrong person.”

“Aren’t you the healer?” she asked.

“Yes, but…” She did not let me finish.

“I came here to meet you,” she explained. “About ten days ago, I was meditating and I

asked my Guru- Paramahansa Yogananda, for help. He came in my dreams three times with

messages, but I could not understand him. So he told me to come here, this Sunday. He showed

me this garden and this tree. ‘Wait there, I am sending help,’ he said. He told me you are a

healer and you will know what to do. I trusted him, but had no money for the trip. Then my

brother offered to pay. I have been waiting all afternoon and was ready to leave when I saw

you.” By now the tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she made no attempt to stop them.

“What is the problem?” I asked simply.

“My ex-husband, he will hunt me down. I know he will. He beat and abused me for

many years. He went to prison for violence and drugs, but was released just a few weeks ago.

He threatened me, saying no one can save me now.” She was hysterical and blurting out words I

could not understand.

“Hold it, hold it!” I said, and asked her to slow down while I scanned the situation.

“Just relax now, and meditate with me,” I instructed her. I guided her into a quieter space

where she could let down her guard and relax. As I connected her to her guides, I spent ten

minutes bringing her back to being brave and strong.

“Repeat the vision I give to you for ten days,” I said, “and everything will be okay. And

don’t worry, your husband will not hurt you; rather, he will start to pay you child support and

alimony.” “In just ten days? How will you…?” She started to question but then she suddenly

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quieted. “Should I meditate twice a day?” she asked.

“Perfect,” I said without thinking. I was in a spot. I had promised the woman retribution

from an estranged husband who had put her in hospital with a broken arm and ribs several times.

And it all would change in ten days.

“Whatever,” I spoke out loud. Divine intervention can resolve matters in seconds. I had

made a promise that God would have to keep, of that I was sure. The woman asked me for my

address and after giving me a big hug, rushed away. Then she stopped.

“Ruby, I almost forgot,” she said, and dug into her purse for a small jewellery bag. “This

is for you, and thank you for being here.”

In the bag was wrapped a beautiful wooden rosary with turquoise beads. “Thank you,” I

said, kissing it as I gazed at the descending streams of gold and copper sunlight shining through

the tree branches. I knew it was time return home.

“Each flower in my garden blooms with my soul scent;

Even the thorns on my roses prick with love.”

My cousin and I drove away mostly in silence but once we began speaking we could not

stop. All the way home we shared stories of miracles and healings of masters. Somewhere

during our conversations I heard Yogananda whisper, “Are you ready for the robe?”

“Not yet,” I replied silently, not yet willing to forsake my freedom and independence for

any specific discipline or structure.

Within a month, I received a letter from Tammy. Thanking me profusely, she wrote,

“My fifteen year old daughter had a serious accident. I was at the hospital when my ex-husband

showed up with a Bible in his hands. He said the priest in his neighbourhood church gave it to

him. He said one night about a week after our meeting, he had a visitation from Christ. ‘Wake

up,’ Christ said. ‘You are about to lose the last chance. Your promise was to teach love and

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help others, not to kill and destroy the people you love. You were given all the experiences you

needed to fulfill your life’s purpose. Honour your responsibilities, and the promise you made to

yourself and God.’ His world changed instantly. He went into a nearby church and wept for

forgiveness and asked to be filled with love. Of course, he rushed to the hospital when he

learned of the accident.”

She ended with, “Ruby, I have decided to be friends with him as he is honouring his word

to me. But I will not go back to him. I have also started a course in coaching. I want to be a life

coach and help others. P.S. I would love to see you sometime. Until then.”

I wished her a happy farewell.

Instances like this kept me fed at the Soul level and filled with Spirit. All these

experiences, including my clients were part of a magical world. The awe and wonder gave me

ample energy to work twelve to fourteen hours a day. In my free time I would write pages upon

pages, filling many notebooks with inspiration. Mostly, I kept to myself and had very little

contact with anyone other than my clients.

The visitations from different masters continued. They would send me individuals they

wanted to help. I would act as ‘their master’s voice’ to share the messages and then would find a

solution for their problems. Clients came for their own reasons, but I felt compelled to first

connect them to their source and then work with their wish list. After a while, I noticed there

was a considerable gap between what they wanted and what they actually needed. I realized the

deepest desire each client had was to get to know themselves and live out their full potential, but

this desire was usually masked behind other desires.

The masters were of the same mind. They also wanted to help their clan members

(probably Soul groups) by first bringing awareness. Healing took on a new meaning. It now

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meant not just having a disease-free mind and body, but freeing the Soul to express it’s creativity

without any karmic burden, illusion, or duality.

A Pilgrimage to India to Thank the Masters

“Promises are bouquets of flowers I present to myself.“

After about two and a half years of this work, I decided to travel to India to attend my

nephew’s wedding. It was also a great opportunity to visit the places where some of these

masters had lived during their lifetimes. It would be my way to honour them and say thank you.

I began with a trip to Banglore to visit Sathya Sai Baba at his ashram in Puttaparti. From

there I went to J. Krishnamurti’s Theosophical Society in Chennai, then headed straight to the

Arunachala mountain range to pay homage to the late Bhagwan Sri Ramana Maharishi. Next I

went to the Osho Commune in Pune, Sai Baba’s temple at Shirdi and Sri Ramakrishna

Paramahansa’s abode in Calcutta. After visiting Auroville in Pondicherry, the home of Sri

Aurobindo, I headed for the Sikh Gurudwara Golden Temple in Amritsar, Punjab. Of course,

my pilgrimage could not be complete without a visit to Pashupati Nath, the largest Shiva Temple

in Kathmandu, Nepal.

After making plans with some close friends, we set out and reached Katmandu early in

the evening. While they checked in at the hotel, I approached the hotel’s guest relations manager

to find out how to visit the temple. The man was touched when I told him of my promise to

myself to visit the temple and conduct special prayers on my on birthday, December the sixth.

“That’s tomorrow!” he exclaimed. “But it’s too late to make arrangements for the

morning prayers. People book months in advance! And tomorrow is Shivratri. Hordes of people

will attend from all over the country.”

“Mr. Pillay, I must have the Puja, and the high priest himself must do it for me. You see I

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want a pure Soul who can talk to God to conduct the Puja for me. Now before we lose more

time, make it happen. Please.” It was a request – really an order he could not refuse.

A few minutes later he reported, “Bhandari-ji” as he referred to the high priest, “himself

does not conduct the Puja for visitors, unless for some special reason. You have half an hour

before they close the gates to the temple residences. You can try your luck.”

A few minutes later I was seated in an old Fiat with Mr. Pillay at the wheel, driving with

reckless abandon the six miles straight uphill to the temple residences. He drove past the first

gate with the help of a little lie about my status, but at the second the guards were adamant, and

said, “Bhandariji is in the Puja. Moreover, he does not meet with anyone after sundown.”

At this point, I stepped in. “Here, it’s Canadian,” I said, handing him a twenty dollar bill.

“Which way?”

The guard pointed to a complex as he stuffed the bill in his pocket. We ran and joined a

group of saffron-robed priests that were moving to the inner quarters. No one questioned us, and

I couldn’t believe I was actually here, in the inner chambers of the high priest. This was not the

first time I had found myself on foreign land with unknown people, waiting for an unknown

person, for the unknown to happen. Seated on straw mats, we waited for more than an hour

before the high priest appeared.

Because I was the only woman in the crowd, he fixed his attention upon me. Then he

mumbled something to his assistant, another priest.

“Bhandariji wants to know, why have you come?”

I spoke to the high priest directly. “It’s my birthday tomorrow and I want you to do a

special Puja for me.” I was a bit embarrassed to speak in front of all those others, but I was not

going to lose this opportunity.

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The assistant began to respond, “He wants to know your name and your birth date,” just

when Bhandariji stopped him.

“Ruby,” I shouted out, along with my birth date. Bhandariji closed his eyes for a few

minutes. I knew he was checking me out, just as I did my clients. He whispered something to

the priest who then said, “Tomorrow is Shivaratri, and Bhandariji will be conducting Puja for the

temple at four-thirty. But he will personally make the offering for you if you arrive at three-thirty

in the morning.

“Great!” I said. “I was born at three-thirty a.m. too. I will be here.”

Hooray, I thought. I had come through again. I jumped up and was about to leave the

room when I saw Bhandariji pulling on his right ear and speaking quietly to the assistant priest.

“Don’t be late,” said the assistant priest, breaking into a smile. “And by the way,

Maharajji says you are chewing God’s ear. Speak less, He can read your thoughts, you know?”

There was laughter in the others as Mr. Pillay and I left the room. Before I left we made

arrangements for me to pay some forty dollars for the offerings.

Sleep would not come that night. My body was vibrating with such excitement, that by

two-thirty I was ready and waiting in the lobby for a taxi to arrive. When an almost new green

Mercedes pulled up, I asked, “Is this the taxi?”

“All the regular taxis were booked Madam,” said the driver, “so the owner sent his own

personal car. It is brand new and will cost two hundred rupees extra though.”

I didn’t give a hoot, and giggling like a teenager I jumped in and wondered- what are the

chances of arriving in a brand new green Mercedes on a date with God?

The next two hours were out of this world. No words can really describe the experience

without minimizing it considerably. All the priests wore long saffron robes with kumkum

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(vermillion) on their foreheads, except for the third eye, which was painted in white. They were

chanting loudly, and each carried an oil lantern. In this dim light I could see they also carried

fresh flowers, coconut, sweets, and other offerings in trays. We moved in a procession covering

all four corners, dropping offerings along the pathway, before we arrived at the temple’s inner


Inside, the rituals began once again with chanting, while I waited until I was summoned

to the centre. I stood to the left of the high priest, and he had me touch the offerings before he

placed them on the Shiv lingam8.

In the midst of the Puja, I felt a strong desire, which I verbalized. “Please God, give me

proof that you love me as much as I love you, and that I am special to you.” At the end, the high

priest took a rudraksh mala9 from the Shiv lingam along with other Prasad and handed it to me.

When I re-entered the courtyard, it was filled with hundreds of saffron-robed priests, who

now began chanting. Soon, the chants were echoing through the valley and I felt electricity in the

very atmosphere. I felt sharp pain as if thousands of tiny pins were poking into me. Then, there

was sudden silence and absolute quietness. I felt like I was under a spell. In a daze, I passed

through the main gates of the temple and walked down the hill to the parking lot where the green

Mercedes waited.

Before we left, the young priest handed me the offerings saying, “Please return this

afternoon at four o’clock for the evening ceremony.”

We reached the hotel just before sunrise and my friends were still fast asleep. I went

straight to my room and crashed on the bed, placing the rudraksh mala on my chest. At two-

thirty in the afternoon, I felt I was waking from a deep trance. For almost eight hours I had not

Shiva lingam is a symbol for the worship of the Hindu deity Shiva.
Rudraksh Mala: Rosary Beads used in meditation.

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shifted or moved in my sleep; the rudraksh mala still lay where I had placed it.

As I had been instructed, I returned to the temple in time for the evening Puja. It was like

stepping into yet another world. The courtyards were filled with huge throngs of priests,

devotees, and monkeys. I stood behind hundreds of people gathered near the temple area. The

prayers lasted thirty minutes, and as the people dashed in to get blessings, the head priest threw

three large garlands of jasmine and marigold from the Shiv lingam into the crowd. People went

wild trying to jump up and grab the garlands. Suddenly, as I watched, one garland came flying

over at least two hundred feet and landed on me. Many hands had tried to grab it along its way,

but it found me. I was shocked, but hadn’t I asked for proof? And what better than God adorning

me with this special garland. This was a day I will never forget. Not long after that my visit to

India came to an end, and I returned home to Canada.

Once home, I was inspired and eager to share myself. This time I was ready to take on

more, knowing God was really on my side. It was now my turn to inspire others so they too

could feel the love and trust as I did. It was shortly after my return to Canada that I first met


Monica’s Story

“This is not the last; we will meet again.”

“My physician, Dr. Bruce Hoffman told me about you. I don’t really know what you do

but I’ll take any help right now. I have cancer and I have maybe four or five months left, but I

am not going anywhere. I will do whatever it takes to beat this thing.” I could sense the fear

behind her determination.

Monica was a forty-two-year-old businesswoman with a multi-million dollar business she

had developed with her husband in Calgary. They had no children. Monica was looking for a

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miracle, if not a cure. She wanted more time to live. Now she sat across from me in my small

office in downtown Calgary. Within a few moments I had scanned her.

“Monica, we need to work fast. Let’s connect you to your Soul,” I began.

“I’m ready,” she said.

“Later, we may review some past lives to see if there is anything there that can help. We

will meet with your guides and see what they suggest. I have seen miracles happen so let’s try

our best.”

Because I felt time was something we did not have, we booked three sessions within the

next ten days. I invited Joan Churcher, my psychologist friend, to join us for the past life


Monica had never worked with a spiritual consultant, so my first task was to remove her

fears. To help her achieve a state of calm, I recorded some meditations and visualizations she

could listen to while in treatment. At that time I was using an old tape recorder to record the

sessions, and the recordings were not very clear. The day after I saw Monica, I had someone

waiting on my driveway. Philo, as he introduced himself as Monica’s friend, handed me a box.

“I hope you will not be offended. Your work is very meaningful and healing for people.

Monica knows the better the sound quality of the tapes, the better effect it will have. She really

wants you to have this.”

The gift was a very expensive Sony professional tape-recorder with a five-year warranty.

Unaccustomed as I was to such generosity, I was very touched. From then on I recorded

hundreds of client sessions using this machine. It proved to be invaluable and I treasure it till


When our sessions were done, Monica left the country for a special cancer treatment. I

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heard nothing until six months later when one day I received a call from her husband Brad.

Monica was close to death he said, requesting me to visit them. I went accompanied by Joan

Churcher. Monica was in critical condition and barely able to speak. She indicated she wanted to

be alone with me, so Brad and her care-giver left the room.

As I sat by Monica’s bedside and held her hand, she opened her eyes and stared into

mine. Helpless tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m not ready to go. I will give you whatever you

want, Ruby; I just want one miracle. I need only a few more months. Please Ruby, do


“What is it you want to do?” I asked her.

“I can’t remember, but I can’t leave without completing it.” She was panicking, her

voice was breaking and I could barely hear her. Still holding her hand I said, “Monica, I will

pray for you to remember. Just relax and close your eyes and you will be shown what you are

meant to do.”

She stared at the ceiling and started to whisper softly.

“I see a centre for healing. There are practitioners, holistic and traditional. There is a

prayer and meditation room, and a library, too. It is a place where people can heal and be healed.

It also has a research facility.”

“Where is it, Monica?” I asked gently, without cutting off her flow.

“There is water, maybe a river nearby, gardens and flowers,” she said.

“Describe it with more detail,” I asked, wanting her to be fully conscious of her vision.

“I can see it all. I see the people who are there. There is a central hall with big windows

facing into the gardens. The grass is lush green. There are yellow and white flowers. And I

hear the sound of water somewhere near. Oh yes! There are birds and white butterflies.”

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As she spoke, she moved fully into her vision. She expressed everything she was

experiencing and as she did, her voice kept getting clearer and louder. She seemed to be soaring,

and glowed with the colour of good health. This was not the person I had encountered when I

entered the room only ten minutes ago.

“Ruby, I have the finances to make this happen, I just need time. Will you work with

me?” she asked, looking directly into me.

“Yes, of course,” I said connecting with her vision. She pressed my hand gently as if to

consummate the promise.

“Ruby, please buy me more time,” she pleaded.

“Monica, you have already manifested your vision. It is already there. You have seen it

for yourself. Now please let go and relax; your desire will come into completion, I promise


“Ruby, I want to be a healer just like you. Can I be with you and watch you work?” she

asked me.

“Of course,” I replied.

“I don’t know where I’m going and I’m scared,” she whispered. I could feel her fear.

“Monica, there is a beautiful white eagle waiting. Go with her and she will take you to a

safe place. You will be fine, I am with you,” I whispered.

“I see it!” Those were her last words. Then a tear rolled down her left cheek, I don’t

know whether of joy or sadness. After that, Monica entered another space. She looked so

peaceful. For another ten minutes I sat with her in absolute silence. Then, I gently slipped my

hand from hers and left quietly.

Joan and I got into the car with tears rolling down our cheeks. We did not know whether

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to mourn or to celebrate. The next day Brad called. He said that after we left, Monica had

slipped into a semi-conscious state and passed away two and half hours later.

I would not admit it outwardly, but Monica’s death was a big blow. I had wanted to save

her, not help her die. I had done what I could and had obviously failed. I felt responsible for

giving her false hope. I had promised her the work we did was with the Soul, and Soul can never

die before it has fulfilled its promise. Often at night I would lay awake feeling the loss. I had

committed to help her, and felt I would do this at any cost. Reluctantly, I let go. I had witnessed

the play before, when Om Baba had fulfilled his promise even after passing away. And though at

that moment I couldn’t even take a wild guess, I knew things would come to a full circle. The

sense of fulfillment lay pending; all I had to do was await the miracle.

The “Karmic Sweeper”

My friendship with Dr. Noel was of mutual benefit. He had become a major support in

my life, especially during those first few months when I went back to work after being so ill. He

helped me a great deal with the legal issues and bringing closure to the business and other

complexities of my life.

This was not all, from my extensive experience with clients and their Soul journeys, I

realized there are masters and guides for every state and dimension. Dr. Noel had helped me

negotiate and communicate with forces beyond my capability. I was thankful for his support.

He would often look at me and say, “Ruby, you are too pure for your own good. I hope

you don’t get hurt, this world is not for you.”

Now free of the burden of resolving these complexities, I threw myself fully into my

work. I moved effortlessly from one case to the next, and one day to the next. Again, I felt that

in order to be more, I had to do more, and with this dedication I folded each case as I would fold

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clothes after washing and ironing. And, just as hanging clothes in the closet gives some sense of

pleasure, I experienced each client and each case similarly. Each one fulfilled me in every way.

They connected me to my Source, gave me the opportunity to express my genius, and even paid

me handsomely.

But the gift I cherished the most was when I realized my potential to love. This truly was

the gift of a lifetime. I worked hard and fast because I knew there was more. The only time I

became stressed was when I did not consciously realize that everything in my life was as exactly

as it should be.

I was blossoming and bursting with life, and this is when I had four dreams that would

take me back to my roots and transport me to yet another world.

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Chapter Five
Into the Valley of Death

“The Soul speaks again, and yet again.”

More than a Dream

I dream that I am flying in a gondola-like object over oceans and vast tracts of land. I

can also see myself fly high above a mountain range and fear is welling up inside me, as I am

afraid of heights. I start to drop and begin falling hundreds of feet through the air with no one to

witness my fall. When I finally land on the barren landscape below, my body turns into a ball of

energy, twisted and damaged from the fall. I cannot move my limbs. I am frozen with fear.

I don’t know how long I stayed in that position, but when I awoke from the dream I was

lying in bed twisted and curled, and trembling with pain and fear. My heart was palpitating and

I could not move out of that position for an hour or so. Luckily, my daughter entered my

bedroom and with her there, I was able to position myself better. But each time I thought of the

scene, my heart rate shot up with anxiety. I knew this was more than a dream, and this place

existed somewhere on the planet. The physical intensity and the fear I felt convinced me this

dream was real. That I gave in to my fear made me feel stupid. I prayed for the dream to return

so I could have another chance to go wherever I was supposed to.

Flying and traveling in the Soul body was natural for me. I would often travel over

houses, cities, land, and water. I would even stop and check out whatever caught my interest.

This mostly happened in both waking and dream state, and I often remembered my excursions

afterwards. After a certain time I could not tell the difference between the two states, they were

both real. Occasionally, I would be forced to return against my will. Once the connection was

broken I was not always able to reconnect, and this made me hopping mad.

I shared the dream with my psychologist friend, Joan Churcher, who tried to work with it.

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But we eventually decided it was best not to disturb the energy. I was still unaware that this

dream contained a Soul message.

The same dream occurred a few weeks later.

Again, as I fly I pass over the point where I had previously fallen. Although I cannot

recognize this desert like mountain range, I have the distinct feeling it is a restricted area. Then,

below me I see armoured vehicles and checkpoints, uniformed guards and army officials. I can

also see protected zones fenced off with barbed wire. When I hear the warning sirens go off, I

know I’ve been spotted by radar. Anxiety grips me and once again I crash land directly on the

barbed wire. I am hurt, bleeding and in shock.

When I awoke, I felt as though I had been struck down. The pain in my right side was

excruciating. Truly frightened, I lay in bed almost paralyzed by the experience, too afraid to call

for help. Many hours later, I finally made my way to the bathroom where I vomited until there

was nothing left in me.

I knew for sure now it was more than a dream, but was unable to connect the dots. I was

annoyed for becoming fearful and falling again. And even though I determined to complete the

mission the next time with grace and strength, I could not. Discouraged, I also felt weak and

vulnerable and not worthy of spiritual adventures. This time I requested guidance and my prayers

were answered.

The final dream began as the others. This time I cross the snow clad mountains and spot

a small mud hut in a village below. I descend and approach the hut. A mother in her late

thirties with her young daughter welcomes me. They escort me into a cold, dark room where the

only source of heat and light is a wood-burning stove. I have trouble breathing in the high

altitude, and the woman and her daughter cover me with blankets. I notice the young girl’s rosy

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cheeks shining in the firelight, as they offer me hot milk and sweets.

Then as they sit with me near the fire, the mother asks my name and my mother’s name.

She seems to recognize my mother’s name, but not mine. Then I hold out my hand and show her

the symbol of OM written on my palm in golden light. As she looks at me with remembrance, I

feel I have arrived at the right place.

Into the Valley of Death

I awoke from this last dream with no need to interpret it. Now convinced this place

existed, I felt a great urge to find it. It was calling me and I had to be present there. I felt it

might be near India, but I could not locate the place. Despite the fear in my dream, my

desperation to be there began increasing by the day. This is when I had a vision of a tiny bird.

Winter had set in and all the other birds were flying to warmer places except this tiny

thing. She stayed back awaiting a message and soon she became covered with snow and there,

buried in her nest, she froze to death.

This was a strong sign for me that I should leave the cold Calgary winter for a warmer

place. I jumped out of the sofa chair, and immediately booked my ticket to New Delhi, India. It

was late February 1995, and on the day my plane took off, Calgary was hit by a storm with

temperatures of minus thirty Celsius. Whew! I’d escaped!

About a week later, my aunt invited me to her home for lunch to meet a swami from the

Aurobindo Ashram. When I arrived, I found Swamiji seated with another man in his mid-forties.

“This is Sushil Kumar,” said Swamiji. “He is a senior criminal lawyer at the Supreme

Court of India. Sushil spent many years studying different religions and philosophies. He has

had the opportunity to live with masters, and all this with his busy law practice. He was on the

team of lawyers defending Indira Gandhi, our prime minister, when she was placed behind bars.”

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Sushil gave me a warm smile and said, “I am honoured to meet you. I knew Mr. Bedi,

your father. I had the opportunity to meet him many years ago in the café at the courthouse. I

was a junior then and I still remember how I mustered up all my courage and walked over to his

table to introduce myself and express my admiration for him.”

I was touched, but I moved my attention to Swamiji who was gazing inquiringly at me. I

told him about my awakening and my work.

“What do you exactly do?” he asked.

“I help people manifest their dreams,” I said casually.

“Have you fully manifested yourself?” he asked.

What kind of a question is that? I thought to myself; certainly the wise swami is a

trickster trying to trip me up. But when he repeated the question, I knew he was serious.

“I help my clients know themselves,” I tried to explain further.

“Do you know yourself?” he asked. Again he stopped me in my tracks. I glanced at

Sushil, looking a bit embarrassed, but he showed no response.

“Shucks!” I thought. “This sage has nailed me.” He was right. I was so busy helping

others manifests their life purpose and dreams, I did not think about myself. It was true that

while I had the gift to know other Souls, I had not yet connected to mine. I had become so

occupied with others and their well being, I had forgotten about myself.

“Swamiji, you are right,” I admitted. “I know others, but I do not know myself. It is also

true that I have so far manifested many dreams, but not myself.”

“So you have met your dreams but not the dreamer.” Swamiji was persistent.

Then, hoping for some insight, I proceeded to describe my four powerful dreams to him.

“Describe the place again,” Sushil was quick to ask.

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This time I gave details I had not shared earlier.

“It is Ladakh, Swamiji!” exclaimed Sushil. “Don’t ask me how but I know it is Ladakh

she visited in her dreams. It has the desert, the mountains, and the army presence. But there is

one problem. It is still early March, off-season, and Leh, the capital, will be almost shut down

until after April.

“Swamiji,” I said pleadingly. “I have to somehow get there NOW.”

Swamiji closed his eyes and remained silent for five minutes. When he opened his eyes

he looked at Sushil and then at me.

“You two were meant to meet,” he said. “No one can stop destiny from unfolding.

Lightning, thunder, or storm cannot stall this occurrence. Child, go; your guides are with you.”

I left with blessings, but disappointed that I might not be able to visit Ladakh on this trip.

Journey to Ladakh

“Keep seeking until the search gives you up; you will then have reached home.”

Sushil offered me a ride to my sister’s home. I shared my journey and asked him about

his. “Sushil, when did you give up seeking?” I asked.

“The seeking gave me up,” he laughed. “No, seriously, it happened when there was no

question left to ask,” he finished.

“How did the questions disappear?” I prodded.

“When there was no more duality. I kept asking questions until one day I became

conscious of the Source and the questioner, from where the questions were arising. I realized the

questions were meant simply to lead me to the questioner, my own inner self. With

contemplation and meditation upon the questioner, I was able to sever the cords of illusion. My

eyes opened and I found my being. That was the death of the seeker. I still travel far and wide,

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not to seek, but because I enjoy the presence of simply Being.”

I knew what he meant. I was starting to sense a silent presence in him. I thanked him for

the ride, and as I opened the car door to get out he said, “Feel free to call if you need someone to

talk with.” Smiling, I walked away.

After doing my own check, I soon confirmed the place I was seeking was indeed Ladakh,

in the Himalayas. The landscape featured tall mountains with an altitude of over 12,000 feet and

a barren desert plateau. Because of a border dispute, the Indian army was stationed there.

Next morning as I sat for breakfast, I received a call from Sushil.

“I have some good news,” he said. “The courts have closed today due to some strike.

Believe me, this has never happened before, and I think it is a sign I am meant to accompany you

to Ladakh. I learned that Air India has a flight to Leh tomorrow morning and there are few seats

available. The hotels are shut down, but the army commander stationed there is the friend of a

friend. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes! Yes! Please. Thank you, thank you so much!” I exclaimed.

Next morning we took off on the most memorable journey, and as we neared Leh I

became excited, nervous, and thrilled. The mountains were identical to those I had seen in my

dream, and so were the soldiers, barbed wire, protected zones, and army vehicles. That is when I

told Sushil how in my dream I had almost died.

“Please don’t die on me,” he laughed. “I didn’t bring enough money with me to carry

you back!”

We checked into a modest hostel- the only accommodation available, and without

wasting time, and Sushil dashed off to the District Magistrate’s office. We were in a restricted

area and needed special permits. I felt a desperate need to cross over the mountain range and find

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the mother and daughter I had met in my dream.

Sushil made special arrangements for us to join an army convoy, and despite my drifting

in and out of consciousness, before nightfall we had made it safely to the other side.

When the driver stopped at the first village, I knew immediately it was not the place and I

told him he must continue further. Sure enough, five miles down the mud road we came upon

the village and there was the hut with the mother and daughter. And, just as they had in my

dream, they welcomed me. With no electricity, it was hard to see the surroundings. They took

me to the same tiny room with the wood stove and warmed me up with the same old blankets.

By this time, I was in very bad shape and with no medical assistance whatsoever. It was

the young girl who then began to rub my feet with the special oil. Being in touch with another

body was somewhat comforting; this is when I noticed her rosy cheeks glowing in the light of

the fire. It was exactly as I had seen it in my dream.

It was freezing cold and at one point I did not think I would make it. Not being

acclimatized to the high altitude, I was unable to breathe. Just then, I felt the presence of Shirdi

Sai Baba. “Baba,” I pleaded, “please release me from this anguish. I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’s not over,” he said. “There is more and this journey will bring wholeness. You will

become who you are.” “Be in surrender and let go, and you must leave here before ten a.m.,” I

heard him say.

“Sushil, please hold my hand, and don’t leave until I regain consciousness. Get me out of

here before ten a.m. tomorrow and for the next three days don’t let anyone touch my body; even

if I die. I will be back.”

With these words, I left myself in the hands of a stranger who did not know my journey

or me. Sushil silently followed my orders and at ten in the morning we began the journey back

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to Leh.

I struggled to breathe and remain conscious. My awareness shifted outside my body. It

was the smoothest movement. I could see that my body was struggling to stay awake, not

wanting to slip into the darkness.

Suddenly I was everywhere, in the snow, the sunlight, the clear blue sky, the car, the

driver, and even Ruby. I was present as everything and in everything. There was no sense of

separation, no filters, and no mind.

It is impossible to capture this experience in words. Everything I describe is my take on

what happened, limited by my sense perception, memory, and language. The most I can say is

this: There was no me, just awareness experiencing awareness.

As my physical awareness began to return, I realized I did not know how to re-enter my

struggling body. It was like trying to squeeze toothpaste back into a tube. The last forty miles to

Leh were unbearable. I don’t remember much after that, but it was another three days before I

was fully conscious.

At one point, I have memory of meeting with Jesus Christ. “This space has the vibrations

you need to manifest,” he said. “It could not have been induced any other way. The external

will ignite your internal force. This environment carries the stimuli you need to manifest your

being.” He then added the instructions, “Be at the airport on Thursday before ten a.m. You will

have a safe return home.”

This is how I interpreted his message. Then he descended into my being and soon my

panic and trauma ceased.

“We cannot leave,” said Sushil when I told him. “The army is on alert and there is a

curfew. They found infiltrators right here in Leh. Besides, you cannot travel in this condition. It

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is three days now and I thought I had lost you. I was barely able to get a few drops of water into

you.” Sushil was holding on but I could sense his extreme concern. He knew he had no choice

but to follow the message.

That day I was able to make it to the bathroom. When I saw myself in the corroded

mirror I was shocked. My body was swollen, my skin a pale bluish-green colour. My hair was

like nylon and I looked like a dead person. My chest hurt, I was breathless and in pain, and I

ached everywhere.

On Thursday at nine-thirty a.m., we arrived at the airport in an unmarked army vehicle

arranged by the army commanding officer. The airport was being patrolled closely and there

was no sign of a plane or any other civilian.

Then, shortly after ten a.m., an army personnel came rushing to us. “You are very lucky,”

he said. “A plane has arrived for a diplomat and his wife trapped here. I have their permission;

you can fly to Delhi with them. Other than this, there are no scheduled flights..” And this is how

we made it out of Ladakh.

Back in Delhi, I quickly found the medical help I needed. Even so, it took me six weeks

to recover. I was intrigued that Sushil never once questioned anything. All he could say was, “I

prayed to God, ‘Please don’t let anything happen to this crazy woman; at least not while she is in

my care.’” I was not surprised when he told me that he had met and experienced the same guides

as I had.

Following my inner direction had taken me to the brink of death, and I expected a

brilliant flash of insight and understanding. However, this did not happen. Yes, I realized there

was likely some past life connection to this area of the world, perhaps even to these people. As

well, there are symbolic components of this story about death and re-birth, the death of one state

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of consciousness and the birth of a new. In this context, what happened was so subtle I almost

missed it.

I felt that I had awakened vibrations that may have been dormant before. My physical

presence, awareness, and energy had lifted. I realized that the experience of going beyond was

within me. The silence I had experienced was from the non- verbal state. There is no

communication needed on the inner realm, as there is no two, no an other.

Back at my aunt’s house, the swami had asked, “Can you manifest yourself?” and I

realized I could not. When I saw Jesus during the ordeal he had said, “You came here to

manifest the vibration you need and it could not have been awakened any other way. This

environment carries the stimuli you need to manifest your being.”

And so with this new vibration induced by the near death experience, a new, or perhaps

the true Ruby was finally manifesting. I carried the memory as a vibration in my being. Within a

short time, this vibration began to take on a life of its own as it expanded through my entire

being. I was full of presence that could be touched, felt, and experienced, and this experience

was alive within me and through me.

It was never more obvious than now that inspiration can source the experiences that feed

our Soul and help us develop our potential. Our thoughts and actions are in line with our purpose

and our spiritual intelligence. Our timing is impeccable and we are attuned to both the exterior

forces and environment, and our interior mind and Soul space. Inspiration also gives us

spontaneous peak or peek experiences, which reveal the bigger picture.

Transformation occurs in the blink of an eye, but the human mind is too slow to catch the

movement. We usually catch the tail-end and through memory, work our way back and trying to

recapture the essence in our own way. In doing so, we lose out on the direct experience. At best,

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we have an idea of what happened; and from that we usually fabricate the story.

Our conceptual mind designs the plot and our creative thinking, makes the happening

seem real. Our intellect and senses provide the sound and light effects. In the process, the

experience is reduced from a cosmic act to a personalized act. We now adopt the happening as

our story and since it is our creation we become attached to it. This is stage one.

Stage two occurs when we revisit the happening and give it a meaning. The same story

gains a new twist. So now we have three things going: What actually happened; how we

perceived what happened; and third our interpretation of what happened. Now multiply this by

the number of times and no of people you expose this story to, now what you get is a beautiful

fiction but not the truth. Not the whole picture; just scraps and fragments of it.

While a collective picture produced by mass thinking should be close to the whole truth,

it is not, because whole is when each and every aspect of the whole is original and authentic and

not put together by some conditioned fiction. Since each story is a twist on the original, putting

them together does not constitute the whole truth. To see truth, a deeper, higher, and wider

perspective is required.

When I was a young girl, I spent a lot of time within myself, in silence. I loved spiritual

alchemy. Sometimes I would fast-forward my life and pretend to be dead. By stepping back and

looking at myself from a distant perspective, I could detach myself from emotion and see a

bigger picture. Then I would look back at my life from this vantage point.

Had I done everything I wanted to do? Was there more I could have done? If not, I

would rearrange my life the way I wanted it to be, until I could see myself as complete, fully

functioning, and whole. Then I would settle into a feeling of total satisfaction and peace. Even

though the game of playing dead may have been a bit morbid, it kept me detached so I could

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enjoy a world beyond my ordinary perception.

Even now, I perceive my body as a spiritual playground where body, mind, and Soul are

in a three-way partnership. On a good day, I become the player, the observer, and the

playground. I listen to Soul as it speaks through visions, questions, and dreams. I allow its

inspiration to guide my actions. But mostly, I give Soul centre stage and allow it to orchestrate

my life.

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Chapter Six

“With love all is possible.”

Out from the Shadow of Death

“How dare he take you away to some forsaken land? What if something had happened?”

fumed my brother-in-law, a Supreme Court lawyer. When I arrived back in Delhi, my sister and

her husband were shocked when they saw me. “That man (meaning Sushil) should be shot dead.”

“Sushil is a very responsible man,” I defended. “He is knowledgeable, wise, and very

spiritual, and moreover he was just supporting my choice. And by the way, he also practices law

at the Supreme Court.”

This was just too much for my brother-in-law who often argued that spirituality was for

the weak. He had no respect for any person or belief that did not match his.

“Bullshit!” he exclaimed. “He is no lawyer. I have never seen or heard of him. He’s just

a con artist playing on a woman’s weak mind.” That was usually how our discussions ended

around spirituality and women.

It took six weeks and several doctor visits for me to recuperate, and this time afforded me

the opportunity to get to know Sushil. He invited me and my sisters to dinner at his home and

introduced us to his wife and children. He told stories I found fascinating, and his peaceful and

quiet demeanor reminded me of my father.

After Ladakh, we had developed a bond which required no words. Although Sushil was

skilled with language and communication, when it came to personal experiences he chose to

remain silent. He preferred not to fill his space with words, experiences or even time.

I was apprehensive about going back to Canada. I didn’t know what I wanted next but I

knew I what I didn’t want- the old setting.

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“Sushil, will you come with me?” I asked. “I’ll introduce you to my clients. They would

love to meet a person like you.” He graciously accepted my invitation, and over the next

eighteen months came to Canada six times.

Sushil was the first human being I’d ever met who accepted me exactly as I was. He

would call me a ‘phenomenon’. One day I asked him, “Sushil, is there anything I could do to

better myself?”

“No!” he replied emphatically. “That would be the biggest act of violence against your

self. Violence stems from non-acceptance. Unmet expectations result in pain and suffering. Be

kind to yourself and enjoy your beauty, you will fall in love with yourself as you are. Without

self-love, it is not possible to love others.”

I knew this to be true. How can one expect to love one’s self while trying to change

something that they perceive to be negative within? Desires and dreams are the signs of our

unutilized potential while the present is a gift we don’t unwrap. Sadly, I admitted I too had

seldom enjoyed this gift. To me, the future was where I should be. When I was with Sushil, I

began to get comfortable in my own skin, my home, and my environment. Living with myself

began to seem like it might actually be possible.

Within myself, I refer to the Ladakh experience as “My Death”, my previous perspective

was replaced with new alive vibrations that I could feel and touch. I began enjoying my own

presence. For hours I would now sit with myself, aware of every cell, muscle and organ,

enjoying a heart opening previously not experienced. Soon I was overflowing with deep

presence; it was alive and silent. I cherished my new gift as never before.

I lost the urge to speak and desire to think. My tingling vibrations of loving presence

were contagious; everyone who came in contact with me felt the effects, even over the phone. It

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felt like I had become part of some celestial world with angelic lightness. During this time, I

recorded my third audiocassette, The Silent Presence, my way of sharing this presence with

others. It was also during this time that I met a man with a most unusual presence.

Eckhart Tolle and I bonded instantly. The best selling author of The Power of Now and A

New Earth was in was here in Calgary from Vancouver to promote his first book. We met over

tea at a clients place and spent a good deal of time chatting about our spiritual paths. Our first

hug was an unusual melody of vibrations. We were like two baby deer in a playing field. We

decided to meet again and at some point I introduced him to Sushil during one of our trips to

Vancouver. I watched them sit for a long period in total silence. Finally, I prodded him,

“Eckhart, say something. Sushil would love for you to share some wisdom.”

He turned to me and whispered, “That’s exactly what I am doing. It is not often I find

myself in the presence of an enlightened being.”

A petite man of few words, Eckhart has a cute smile but a mega presence. Hugging him

was like touching a 1000-volt live wire, which would leave you shaking for hours, if not a few


“You are an iconoclast,” he said to me one day, sitting in my living room after lunch.

This was probably the third or the fourth time we had met socially.

“So Eckhart,” I teased, “Can you see yourself on Oprah? Because I do!” I laughed.

I liked his boyish look.

“I see you there too,” he answered, smiling at me affectionately. Being on Oprah meant

being in a position to share our purpose with millions of other beings.

We shared experiences like two children sharing their toys. We talked about our

favourite philosophers, mystics, and sages. We toyed humorously with awakening, self-

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realization, and enlightenment. Once, I suddenly asked, “Hey! Will I know when I become

enlightened?” He laughed and so did I as together we blurted out, “NO!”

Within a few months, I began to wrap up my spiritual practice and informed my clients of

my intention to retreat into silence.

“I have shared all I know with you at this time,” I told them. “From here on, everything I

say or do will be a repeat. We all have accumulated a lot of knowledge, which we must put to

good use before it becomes a burden. It is now your time to share, and my time to go back into

silence. Let us live our life practicing who we are NOW!” I said, infusing them with enthusiasm.

Then I shared my experiences of Ladakh to the best of my ability, giving them a taste of my

experience. I injected them with words, presence, and whatever else I could before I bid them

farewell. That night at the University Hall there was love, tears, joy, and sadness.

After the meditation, we all sparkled with magic, especially my friend, Dr. Brian

Abelson, a chiropractor and Tai Chi master. His palms were exuding fragrance that night and

everyone who touched his palms began also to exude the fragrant scent. The atmosphere was

electrifying and people became ecstatic. Row after row, each person was transferring the

fragrance to the next. One elderly woman who had lost her sense of smell, cried with joy as she

rubbed her hands after Brian’s touch. “I can smell,” she exclaimed. “I have the fragrance too.”

After I bid them farewell, with love and respect we all left the hall where we had gathered

many times for discourses and workshops.

One more time, I was giving up what I had created and developed to step into the

unknown. I had no idea what I wanted, where I was going, or how I would get there, but I had

faith that as I left the old, the new would appear. For most of my life I had been unaware of the

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entry, but I always knew the exit. I would begin by connecting with my Soul and trust that

whatever I needed would find me.

I felt a strange sense of abundance and freedom in giving up something I cherished so

much. My friends and relatives, on the other hand, were worried sick. They thought I was

losing my mind to voluntarily give up a successful and desirous practice, and my only financial

resource. But success had another meaning for me. Success meant fulfilling my promise,

whether taking or giving. The freedom to explore my inner realm, and to say no when the going

was good was proof that I had reached the pinnacle of my success.

I set up a non-profit organization and started to promote other teachers and healers. Now

taking a back seat, surprisingly, I felt the same amount of pleasure as I did before. I rather

enjoyed supporting others in their calling. Seeing an opportunity, I used the time to write my

first book, The Divine I, where I described my awakening and experiences. Then, I took out a

line of credit on my house and made plans to head back to my roots, New Delhi, India.

Soul Partnership

Before leaving for India, I participated in a workshop in Kelowna, British Columbia,

where many teachers and healers made presentations. This event proved to be the beginning of

another journey. In attendance were about over a dozen Sikh men and women from Edmonton.

They were shocked to meet and learn about me, especially after experiencing one of my

meditations. “You are a Bedi,” they exclaimed, “the same lineage as Guru Nanak.10 Where have

you been all this time?” They stuck to me like moths to a flame, ready to be burned in the fire of

spirit. They all bought signed copies of my book, The Divine I, and then competed with each

other as they all invited me to their homes in Edmonton.

Guru Nanak was the first Sikh Guru.

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It was in August 1996, that I accepted one of these invitations and found about forty

people waiting for me, all seated on the floor. They were waiting to meet the “woman-guru”

which elevated their own sense of self. My hostess, Rajinder, welcomed me warmly. She

opened her heart and home and insisted I stay in their home. She then introduced me to a

fascinating woman in her eighties who exuded a youthfulness not often seen or experienced.

Round and chubby, she was dressed all in white and her silver-gray hair shone through the white

voile head-scarf. All in all, she was as cute as a button.

“Ruby, this is my mother, Ma ji,” said Rajinder. “She is very spiritual and has already

checked you out. She says you have the light of the Master plus more. She says you will soon

be one of us, meaning you will become part of our family.”

Ma ji opened her arms and hugged me. It was like hugging myself; we were both

vibrating at the same frequency! As we both recognized the bond, we fell into each other’s arms

and cried with joy.

In those first few moments, I did not know how important she would become to me. In

her, I would find all the qualities I admired and hoped each woman would have; strength, love,

courage, beauty, charm, and clarity. She was brave enough to confront any weakness or anyone

with one look and few words.

Everyone called her Ma ji, which is Hindi for ‘mother’ and sometimes ‘grandmother’.

She was religious and disciplined and knew what she wanted. She rose every morning at four to

read the sacred text. Like me, she was clairvoyant and could see the gurus and guides, receive

direct messages from them, and interpret them for others. With me, she shared her childhood

stories about her guides and how they would wiggle her big toe at two-thirty every morning so

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she would awaken to meditate and pray. She daringly followed her guides and lived her life

intuitively from within.

She had given the family the green light, and the entire family was now free to embrace

me. Within hours, they had accepted me into their hearts and their home.

“This is my grandson, Inder,” said Ma ji, handing me a photograph of a young man.

“Rajinder is his mother and we call him Sunny. Tell me something about him.”

In that first glance, I realized that my meeting this family was no coincidence. I was

meant to meet this man. It was a full body confirmation I often received from within when

encountering truth. I could not help focusing on the photo as I shared the guidance with

everyone there.

“You will soon meet Inder,” predicted Rajinder. “He will support your work, and help

you in whatever you need. He will love and care for you and be with you. Wait until you meet

Sunny; you will know what I mean.”

While Inder’s mother was making external promises on his behalf, I felt the same words

being repeated from within. Something within was promising me a soulful future and it would

all begin when I met this man. But I was also picking up that as much as our paths were

connected, there would be challenges ahead.

And then the thought came, if anyone can get into me and destroy me, it will be him. I

don’t know why this thought came. Although tempted to look into it, I ignored it. My body

sensations became ecstatic and exhilarating with passing images and thoughts of relatedness,

work, purpose, responsibility, promise, and fulfillment.

“Stop!” I commanded my mind. “Breathe, and Be.”

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One month later, when I traveled to India that September, I finally met Inder in person.

Our first meeting was cordial and I kept the conversation light and friendly, revealing little of my

inner knowing. He was younger than me so I quickly adopted the role of friend and guide. One

day, he asked me to check out our past lives and see if we had a connection.

“Our frequencies are similar, that of twin souls designed to fulfill a common purpose. We

studied under the same masters and have had many lives together,” I reported. “In this life we

will fulfill the Soul Promises we have made to ourselves, each other, and our Masters and

teachers. There are several who watch over and support us, and there will be others who come,

as we need to facilitate our work. Our purpose is to develop infrastructure first within and then

outwardly to facilitate healing, wellness, and wholesomeness. We will develop projects through

which we will awaken intelligence, enlighten minds, instill awareness, and inspire self-growth.

We will develop a way to fully manifest the holistic potential in this incarnation. Once we

connect with our true selves, the project and the people connected to us will appear.” Sunny

watched and nodded and so I continued.

“We need to be compatible and respectful to each other because any distractions can

delay or even abort the mission. The more we connect within, the easier our path will be. The

specific reason for our purpose will be revealed along with the energy, intelligence, and life force

to manifest it.”

I knew I mustn’t reveal too much because I was not sure how awakened he was to his

own Soul Promise. If I continued, I risked losing credibility and stood the danger of being

declared a fake.

“I was your guide,” I said of our previous relationship. He smiled and said nothing, but a

few days later he shared with me the answer that he got.

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“We were together, there was a lot of love between us,” he said. I knew he was partially

correct, without love for self, each other, joined commitments don’t become possible. However,

as his present goal was to draw to himself success, ample wealth, and a name, the entire message

was a bit of a mouthful. As humble as he was, he expected all these things to come to him

without work or effort.

“If it is in my destiny, then it will come to me whether I work hard or sit still,” he

declared. “I don’t believe I need to be better and do more to have more.” He was behaving like

a child and I kind of knew why. He had been with several Gurus and guides and each one had

probably lured him and promised some returns to be in their company. His cynicism was valid.

“Lectures and more lectures,” he said. “I think all teachings should be banned and

everyone should uncover and follow their own truth. Teaching is just another form of


Inder wanted in on all the details. What, when, where, and how. He loved the idea of

enlightenment but backed off when he felt it could mean work and giving up things. “What

would it take to manifest everything you have told me?” he asked again.

“First,” I began, “remembrance of who you are. As you connect fully with yourself the

rest will unfold naturally.” I was not yet ready to break the news yet.

Our frequencies resonated differently; it would take time to unify our field of perception.

I had an advantage; I knew him, his Soul script. But what I was sure of was still a matter of

choice for him. I was more restrained than I would be with my clients. Here I was part of the

cast and played a significant role. As I read him, I read a part of my own script. I was thrilled

that finally I would have a dynamic, vibrant, and youthful partner to play it with, and we could

do wonders together. Along with this would come a life I had dared not dream of.

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Even so, I was deeply concerned about how difficult it would be to manifest this plan

breath-by-breath, moment-to-moment. Ahead I could see a lot of hard work and tough times,

and in order to successfully materialize the intended results, I would need to be alert and strong.

“I could lose myself,” I thought in dismay. I was simply not ready for more challenges.

The more information I retrieved for Inder, the more my role became visible, and the more

nervous I became. At one point in anger, I asked my guides if it was possible to change my Soul

plan and do something else! Then I thought, once a duck, always a duck, at least for that one

incarnation. My history, biology, psychology, and chemistry were all designed and chosen for

my purpose. Even the geographical locations, along with culture, religions, and environment had

been selected to my choice. I had to muster the courage to live the choices I had made with full


It was more troubling to know that I would be letting down others involved and

compromise their and my purpose. When I found myself getting tense and stressed, I decided to

give up thinking. It was futile and would create an unnecessary drain on my life force.

A few weeks later, as a birthday gift, I invited Inder to attend his first healing workshop

in Agra. One evening after the workshop, we sat in the car and watched the sun go down on the

Taj Mahal. The white monument shining in silver-blue light in the reflection of the full moon

and the river beside it, all blended with Inder’s unique silence were enchanting and I felt the

same magic I did as a child. This new inspiration was breaking down the façade, along with any

reservations we had about each other and the work ahead.

And then some memory began to return. It had to, as Taj Mahal was built from the

loving memory of a Mogul King for his wife. The seventh wonder of the world is a reminder of

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true love, passion, and romance. Truth is contagious and so it was for us. The moon and the

stars were witness to our promise - to be Soulful.

A new chapter had begun. To begin with, I would have to endure Inder’s frustration. He

did not like to be dependent upon me or anyone else to fulfill his dream; it made him feel

inadequate and weak. And he challenged everything.

“Why do I need to work at it if it’s part of my blueprint? What good are the guides if we

have to face the challenges? How can it be my purpose if I cannot remember it?”

There was more, more, and more. Outwardly, he would ask questions and express doubt

but inwardly, he really craved to communicate with the guides himself. His desire was to see

and experience everything in life consciously.

He pushed every one of my buttons over the next few years. But, as nerve-wracking as it

was, I stuck by my promise to support the vision of healing. I saw it as no different than sticking

my neck out and risking my life to travel to Ladakh on an inspiration. My prayers in those days

went something like this: “God, either let him remember or let me forget. Take us both from

darkness to light.” This prayer kept me from getting confused, angry, and hurt.

Many a time I was tempted to walk away from this joint commitment, which required

every drop of patience and ounce of willpower. I was tested, my words challenged, and my

integrity questioned. But despite it all, I stood tall in my promise, I felt that every challenge was

part of the big jig saw puzzle. I supported Inder on his journey, I was fulfilling my own promise


By and by, we Soul traveled and explored inner realms. We touched different

dimensions and met with Soul friends, light entities, angels, and other beings, and retrieved our

wealth of knowledge. In a short time, we had awakened the gifts we needed within us. The

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inner journey helped regain the power, intelligence, and life force we would require for this


Strong-willed and bound by some promise we supported each other and waited for the

big picture to be revealed. I knew from experience the signs; when ideas become inspiration

with the life force and when urges cannot be ignored, then it is time.

Finally the door began to open, and we began to meet people and get involved with

projects close to our hearts. We started a primary school with yoga and meditation. We set up a

healing and meditation centre for young males at an orphanage in a Himalayan town. We began

conducting workshops, and helping others connect to themselves through various techniques.

These and many other projects gave us first-hand experience of healing in various forms. We

were guided to travel many places to pick up the vibrations we needed.

I found myself being forced into silence so I turned to writing. It was a great way of

becoming conscious, and as long as I kept my eye on the vision, life was beautiful. But the

moment I lost sight of it, I experienced instant stress, pain, and anguish. Although Inder was not

one to judge or analyze, he was quick to show me the mirror. I was free to connect with all of

me, without denying anything that I feared might be wrong or improper. Finally, I was able to

see clearly the numerous personas I had developed over the years as a survival tool, along with

the ghosts I was housing within. Forced now to look at the way I communicated, thought, and

believed, I lifted the veil off each and every persona. Much like peeling away an onion, I kept on

until I connected with the emptiness within.

Dreams don’t happen, we make them happen; and when they do happen they tend to

replace the old artwork of subtle impressions that we have once created, embodied and expressed

with new designs of colors and shapes that we now intend to experience. The space that once

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served as a platform to orchestrate our desires again fills with new desires. Dreams are can be

replaced but not without repercussions and even resistance. Something has to be surrendered, left

behind or given up for anything new to occur.

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Chapter Seven

“Knowledge empowers my mystery, and awareness makes it grow.”

The Serpent

When traveling within for the purpose of retrieving wisdom, knowledge, and intelligence,

one can land in the most unexpected places. Most people wish, or at least hope their past lives

have been rich and meaningful, even if the present one seems not. I have not yet met anyone

who believed they were a stray cat, and if a cat at all, they preferred it were Cleopatra’s cat, with

some powers. The dream for most, of course, is to have been Cleopatra herself!

The purpose of inner travel is conscious development and evolution. We grow by

embracing all aspects; good, evil, light, and dark. Inner travellers have often shared stories of

encountering both light and dark. Most of us are victims of duality, viewing light as good and

dark as evil. We try to resist what we perceive to be dark and desire only light. Some masters

have revealed their encounters freely, while others chose to focus on the lighter side of the

voyage. In my travels, I too have had my fair share of encounters with entities and dimensions

both intensely dark and vividly clear. The deeper the darkness, the more I connected to Source.

I realized that the dark was part of the light spectrum I needed to experience in order to

become conscious of all that exists. To be most effective, I would have to welcome everything

presented, transcend the mind, and utilize every opportunity. No physical training is complete

without resistance. Obstacles are intentionally placed in our path so we can develop endurance

and strength. We overcome fear and apprehension as we confront our deepest issues – old

patterns and ways of being that hang around like a ghost - and bust it with determination and the

power of self-love. The bigger the dream, the tougher the challenge.

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As Inder and I moved toward our purpose in the outer world, we were also working

together in the inner realms. Our intention was to stimulate the intelligence and life force to

create events to make us more aware and increase our power to create. I called it “working

smart”. One of our dreams was to create an international techno-art and science educational

facility for young adults, to develop their super-conscious mind and unfold their skills and talents

in a healthy and wholesome environment. In the external, we were in the midst of locating lands

for this school in India in the year 2000, when we received a unique invitation.

“Join us this evening for tea,” said our friend Tarun. “and I will introduce you to my chief

guest, Swami Kuber. 11 The Swami is a long time congress affiliate, and because it is election

time he is honouring us with a visit.” Tarun came from a family of politicians and was related to

the chief minister of the State.

“The Swami Kuber?” I asked, my senses alerted.

“Yes,” answered Tarun. “He a Tantric Yogi with unmatched powers and Siddhis.12 I

don’t know everything but he has been called ‘the king maker’.”

About a year before back in Edmonton, I had heard exactly the same thing from my

friend, Dr. Chatterji, a professor of biology with a keen interest in astrology. “Ruby,” he said,

“you are a woman with extraordinary power. You need to meet Swami Kuber. Connection with

him will give you the know-how to utilize this power to its full potential.

“But Doctor, how in the world would I manage that” I replied, “It will be like trying to

meet the President!”

Kuber Swami: not his real name – I have changed it.
Siddhi: A Sanskrit word meaning "perfection", "accomplishment", "attainment", or "success". [1] Also used as a term for
spiritual power (or psychic ability.) These spiritual powers may vary from relatively simple forms of clairvoyance to being able
to levitate, be present at various different places simultaneously, to become as small as an atom, to materialize objects, to have
access to memories from past lives, and more. From Wikipedia.

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“It will happen,” he predicted. “I can see it as part of your destiny.” Typical of Dr

Chatterji, he often came up with inspiring ideas and then dropped them in the lap of destiny.

I remembered reading about this Swami with extraordinary powers. Some admired him,

but to others he was a predator and a con artist. Between these two, there were many who knew

him but refused to discuss it. In India, it is common not to confront or openly defy a person with

power; most will choose to suffer in silence. The Swami’s photographs with the powerful elite of

the world were proof of his national and international alliances. He began his spiritual journey as

a young man living and meditating in the jungles of U.P., and through rigid discipline and

practices he attained supernatural powers. As one story goes, while in deep meditation and

penance he was bitten by a cobra which awakened his kundalini shakti. The cobra was no

ordinary snake, but a spiritual master who manifested as a cobra. I remember chuckling and

imagining the headlines I wanted to see in the newspaper:

“Cobra Bites Swami; Swami Awakens, Cobra Dies”

I could hardly wait for the evening. We reached Tarun’s home, which was more like a

mansion, a bit early so as to miss nothing. At five o’clock sharp, the Swami arrived with his

entourage of devotees and several junior swamis. As Inder and I exchanged glances, we could

not help laughing. The Swami reminded me of a monstrous comic book character. Dressed in

crisp white silk with brocade borders, he and his group sported long silver gray hair and beards.

They reminded me of a pack of wolves.

The Swami sat in the big sofa chair placed in the center and moved his head from left to

right, scanning every person in the room. Some got a smile, some just a glance, and a few were

simply ignored. Then the gaze fell upon us.

“Where are you from?” he asked.

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“Canada,” Inder and I replied together.

“Swamiji, they are looking at the possibility of setting up an educational facility in

India,” Tarun quickly added.

“A school! What for?” exclaimed the Swami. “You should set up a healing centre,” he

said, fixing us in his gaze. And then after a brief pause, “Did you know that gems were used for

healing purposes and Ruby was one of the most potent gems known to bring healing? Then,

looking me directly in the eyes, he asked, “What is your name?”

“Ruby,” I responded, jumping out of my skin. I could not believe he had pinned me. In

that moment I had made my decision to experience the Swami whichever way possible. Some

thing inside me was compelling me not to say NO to whatever he would offer, even if that meant

temporary discomfort.

“Please be my guests for a special celebration,” the Swami was more than gracious. I

noticed he was paying more attention to us than anyone else. “We have our Navtratri Puja

celebration for which forty-two pundits from all over India will join us and we will pray for nine

days to the Divine Mother. It is the most auspicious time.”

“We will certainly try,” Inder promised after a short exchange. On the way home, Inder

was skeptical. “What do you want from him. There are thousands of swamis and what do they

have that you don’t? Besides, this one is very controversial.”

“Inder, consider it part of the plan, we have to go,” I said. I was determined and had

made up my mind to visit the Swami. It took me several days to convince him, but I did, and off

we went to the Swami’s.

Swami was known to be wealthy which was obvious as we drove through the gates of the

ashram. It was more like a palace- four storeys of marble floors, tall rosewood and mahogany

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doors, spacious visiting areas, galleries with expensive art and statues, and many lavish


As we entered the gates, we noticed a dozen guards with rifles, and more stationed on

each floor. Why would a man of god need so much security? Something raised my antenna and I

could feel an excitement brewing in me. When taken to our living quarters, we were pleasantly

shocked to find it was the presidential suite on the same floor as the swami. Apparently, a prime

minister from a neighbouring country was the last guest to stay in this suite. We were told the

Swami would meet with us the next morning.

This time he was prepared, and as we entered his quarters, he began bombarding us with

details of who he thought we were at the mind, body, and Soul levels. He had obviously checked

us out and seemed to know more than we anticipated.

“Ruby, you are a phenomenal healer and Inder, you are a businessman,” he declared. “I

can help you in your calling. Ruby can do her healing work at my estate villa in Los Angeles. I

have many Hollywood clients searching for peace and life purpose. Inder, I have a special

assignment for you. I will introduce you to the Nigerian diplomat who will set you up as an

agent to import and export specific products for the government of Nigeria. You will make more

than what you anticipate and in ten years of good business you could retire. Then you will have

the freedom to explore your Soul and be in touch with your spiritual side.”

Inder was not thrilled by this plan as his vision was to start his life’s work now, not in ten

years. And then the swami disclosed the last part of his plan which completely shocked us both.

“You must work separately,” he said. “After ten years you could work together. I can

only help you if you agree to meet this one condition.” He was serious.

“Swamiji, this is not possible,” we both replied, without hesitation.

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“Think about it for another day,” he trailed off as he left the room.

The next morning he summoned us to his room. “I have chosen you both to officiate at

the Puja ceremonies for Navtratri. The Divine Mother came to me in my meditation and told me

to do this. And Inder, after the Puja we will begin work on your business. There is only one

thing left. I will need fifty thousand U.S. dollars from you in cash to pay the agent’s fee.”

We were stunned and our minds said NO. But our hearts were not ready to abort the

experience and go home, and so after much pondering we arranged to deliver the cash to the


The nine days of Puja was a captivating affair. Amongst the guests were politicians,

high-ranking officials, business families, Bollywood producers, actors, poets, and singers.

Everyone except Inder and me had attended this event before and was well versed with all the


Each day as we sat for Puja, we were like kittens amongst wolves, surrounded as we were

by forty-two pundits with long, scraggly hair and beards. And we heard repeatedly, “Aren’t you

lucky? You must have really good karma that the Divine Mother has chosen you to officiate the

ceremony.” We believed that too.

For nine days we felt transported to a magical world. All fifty-one guest rooms at the

ashram were filled with pundits and yogis from all over India. They were each gifted in their

unique way, especially the Swami’s elder brother, Amritnath, who was not a yogi but seemed to

be darn good astrologer.

“Within five years, you will own your own island and plane,” he said to Inder, and went

on to describe other details. It felt like a dream. And just as one meets mythical characters, we

met animated beings with gifts of clairvoyance and intuition beyond belief.

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It started slowly. We began to receive messages from Swami’s near and dear that this

man was a fraud and had no intentions of setting up Inder in business. It was a rude awakening

from our dream. With false promises, he had in the past robbed others of large sums of money.

“Leave now before it is too late,” was the advice coming now from his employees and pundits.

They introduced us to a few guests who told their stories of Swami’s false promises. A

few had liquidated all their assets, and were now living in the ashram, hoping each day that the

Swami would live up to his word. However, on one side Inder and I refused to believe it could

happen to us, and on the other we began to push the Swami to set up Inder’s appointment with

the Nigerian agent.

We noticed the Swami was beginning to get a bit distant. When we mentioned the

business, he would get defensive, even annoyed. One day he said to me, “Ruby, I hope you can

feel my love. I can fulfill your every desire. I am not like others who will use you. But I must

warn you that Inder is not your match. You are a wise woman, and I need not say more.” After

this, I noticed his fondness for me suddenly disappeared.

I was angry and felt terribly violated by his words and told Inder the Swami had started

playing games with us. The next day Inder met with him and expressed his concerns over the

business plan. “Swamiji, I can’t wait any longer. I must get back to Canada. When are we

meeting with the agent?”

“Inder,” he said, “I can see you are changing. You doubt me. Ruby must be

brainwashing you. I didn’t want to tell you this earlier but I think she is not genuine; she is

sleeping with other men and no good can come to you in her company. Go back home to Punjab

and I will call you within the week for the business.”

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Our drive back was tortuous. We were overtaken by fear and doubt. We waited not one

week but three and still the Swami did not call. When we realized he had changed his cell phone

number, panic hit. It was not just about the money; I simply could not believe this was

happening to me! How could I be cheated, almost robbed! I was angry because I had lost face,

and even though I felt there was a good reason for meeting him, I just didn’t know what it was.

Inder and our friend, Dr. Oberoi (we called him NKO), did not spare me either. “Ruby, I told you

he was a fraud, you were taken in by his power,” he said again and again with regret.

“What kind of an intuitive are you?” demanded Inder angrily. “And those guides of

yours let you be robbed and did nothing to help. I think you should fire them all and give up

helping others as you can’t even help yourself!”

And that’s exactly how it felt. We consulted a criminal lawyer and a few other influential

people. They reminded us there was no proof we had given any cash to the swami and suggested

it would be best to move on. Confronting him could be dangerous.

Two months later, there was still no word from Swami. We knew for sure we had lost all

the money. “Inder,” I said one day, “I feel responsible for the loss. I promise to pay it all back

to you.”

“I don’t want the money back from you, Ruby,” he replied. “I want him to return it. But

I ask that you do not guide me into such mishap again.”

I felt saddened, hurt and let down. This is when I brought God in to the picture. But

before that, I made one phone call.

“Swamiji, this is Ruby. I don’t know what you are up to but whatever it is, just stop it.

Return our money now or I promise that you will pay the price for getting tangled up with me.”

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I could not believe my own words. I was sure no one, at least not a woman, had ever spoken like

this to him before.

“Please, please calm down,” he said. “I love you. Why would I want to hurt you?”

And so it went. Inder fought me, and I fought with God.

“How could you?” Inder asked me, and I asked God.

“I want the money back,” Inder demanded from me, and I from God.

“I even doubt I am meant to work with you,” Inder said to me, and I to God.

“I give you two weeks. If you don’t succeed, I am out and I will never work with you,”

Inder said to me, and I to God.

“Not two weeks, I want only nine days,” God said to me, and I to Inder.

This is when I declared war with the Swami. I tried talking to him inwardly but he

refused to budge. Then I knew I would have to go over and above him. This time I did a search

for his masters with hope of working out a deal with them. It took me five days to locate one of

his masters on the inner, who after he heard my case, gave me instructions for a remedy. I did

what he asked, then meditated for three days, after which I went to Inder and said, “Now, call the

Swami and ask him to return our money.”

That day, the Swami’s secretary put the call through. “Tell Ruby I am not afraid. I know

what she is up to. She is trying to influence me but I am not threatened. And by the way, where

is she?” he asked.

“Swamiji, Ruby is visiting her friend, the law minister’s wife.” Inder purposely threw in

the name to influence him. To me it was part of a miracle that, within those nine days of inner

work, I worked outwardly with a woman whose husband happened to be the law minister.

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Unbeknownst to us, the Swami was scheduled to appear in court a few weeks later for a hearing

in regard to foreign funds.

“Don’t threaten me with names,” he growled. “Come and get your money, and do not

bring Ruby.”

On the third day we had our money back, in cash.

My belief in the inner work was again confirmed. I knew once again that when Soul is in

charge, anything becomes possible. I thanked the Master who helped me, and began our return

to Canada, very grateful and more than a little wiser.

The Swami experience disturbed me. I was unable to fully comprehend all the reasons

for our entanglement, but one result was I lost all fear of being hurt. Every astrologer I’d ever

had a reading from had warned me not to trust people when it came to money and love. The

very idea had been crippling for me. I hated not to love and this experience had given me the

freedom to play without worry.

There were other gifts from this experience. I realized a needy person is vulnerable and

can fall prey to any temptation. I also realized I needed no protection; no one could take anything

away from me and that deceit and falsehood can bring down the strongest of the strong, while

honesty and purity open the door to paradise, and even God bows his head to you. I remembered

the poet Iqbal’s 13 words to mankind: “Become so strong that even God surrenders and says,

‘Your wish is my command.’” I am sure that the “god-man” will never forget the woman who

challenged and beat him at his own game. I also promised myself not to test my strength this way

again. But playing with the wolves inspired me to go within and extract the strength and

intelligence to play in the big league. “If only there were enough funds to manifest our dream

Iqbal, Muslim Poet.

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project,” we both thought as we flew over thirty-five thousand miles on our way home to


Back in Winnipeg, Inder suggested we set up a new real estate business. His intuition

proved right, and those four years gave us valuable experience in construction, development, and

management and ultimately led us to our dream project.

During these years, I had no urge to do any sessions. I saw very few clients and

surprisingly, thought of little but the real estate business. I was startled when a few friends asked

if I was doing any spiritual work. I said yes, of course. The new business was as spiritual as the

healing work. I realized it is not what I do, it is how I do it that makes it spiritual or not. I was

fully absorbed in this work when in August, 2005 I was asked to help in something out of the

ordinary. This time it was Ma ji, Inder’s grandmother. Life was about to change again.

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Chapter Eight
The Wake Up Call

“Education is a means to power, and personal development the ability to hold that power.
However, power without purpose is as meaningless as a cat with two horns.”

One night in early September of 2005, as I lay fast asleep in my home in Winnipeg, I

awoke suddenly to find Ma ji by my side. She was wearing a crisp white outfit and looking

fresher than I had ever seen her. She pulled up a chair by my side and sat right next to me. The

clock on the dresser showed it to be exactly two o’clock in the morning. She was visiting me in

her astral body.

I was shocked to see her because she had made no contact with me for about four years.

The years had passed and now she was over ninety-eight years old. For the past year, she had

been confined to a nursing home and her health was deteriorating rapidly.

Ma ji had led a very full life in business, politics, and service to humanity. She was

known as a supporter of the disadvantaged and had fought for women's rights. In fact, she was

the first East Indian woman in Malaysia to get her driver’s licence. Ma ji had no fears, at least

none that were visible to me. She had tremendous faith in God and had always voiced her truth.

She truly believed God had brought us together for a higher purpose. She believed in me

and had high expectations of me, wanting me to reach great spiritual heights and help others.

However, her expectations had included a lifestyle I could not live and so I disappointed her so

she withdrew from me as quickly as she had embraced me. At first I was angry with her for

abandoning me, but then I realized my love was greater than my hurt. Even though I was not

able to meet her, I could still love her.

It was now almost four years since I’d had any direct contact with Ma ji. Knowing she

was in a nursing home a thousand miles away in Edmonton, I was naturally shocked to see her in

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my bedroom. She spoke softly, and with no formalities, she came straight to the point.

“I want your help. My body is about to collapse and I still have many things to do. I

need a spiritual form. I need you to help me make the transition from this life to the next.”

I wondered exactly what kind of help she wanted. Without waiting for a reply, she spoke

again as if reading my mind. “I promise that in return, you will get back what you have lost. The

love and respect you deserve will be yours.”

Then both of us became silent, and in the dark of the night we struck a deal that needed

no words. I closed my eyes, reflecting upon what she had said. When I opened them Ma ji was

gone, but I could still feel her presence everywhere.

Waking up Inder, I told him about Ma ji’s visit. He was not surprised, but to me her visit

was unexpected and her request strange. I was sure she would visit me after her death, perhaps

after she had seen the bigger picture, become more objective, and realized our mutual Soul


I went back to sleep but when I awoke the next morning, I had the distinct feeling that

Ma ji was not simply present in the room but present within me in a whole new way. This was

strange indeed. Somehow, we had become twinned. I began experiencing some of her physical

symptoms and found I could relate to everything in her awareness. At some point during the

night, there must have been transfer or merger of energy. It seemed that while Ma ji was making

the transition from this world to the next, I had become a physical carrier for her.

This process of merging was beyond my comprehension. The closest I’d ever come was

in my work when I would heal a shattered energy field and perspective for a client and then

create a new healthy flow of intelligence and intuition. With their consent and through my

intention, I would enter their energy field, retrieve the needed information, and reconnect them to

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their inner core. I communicated through intuition and set up a strong link for them to access the

intelligence they would need to live a full and healthy life.

How did this happen? The best way I can explain it is to say I would enter my client’s

space and then activate the required state of consciousness and level of awareness through my

being. Once within that space, I could override a client’s state of consciousness with my own

and transmit the desired state change – whether at a mental, emotional, or spiritual level - to

them. Soon, the client’s body and mind would mimic the feeling, state, and awareness I had

initiated. Of course, the state I induced was only in accordance to their life purpose. Once that

was manifested, I would exit and it would be just a matter of time before the client would start to

express the new intelligence in a meaningful way. If nothing else, I was able to bring peace and

quiet to troubled and suffering minds. I often said, “I know about others because I know how to

be them.”

I had used a similar process when I helped clients connect with their Soul purpose.

Through intention, I could place myself in any other space. I was able to gain access to an

unlimited field of intelligence where I could decipher a particular Soul’s code and interpret the

history and the chemistry of that Soul. I would then connect with a person’s Soul intelligence

and discern the journey of that Soul, keying into their personal spiritual inclinations along with

that Soul’s intention. I would get to know who they were and what they were here to do. I often

knew more about them than they could remember themselves.

So, aligning and attuning came naturally to me. However, being a spiritual and physical

carrier for someone while they were in transition was well beyond my comfort zone. I had no

conscious experience of it. However, I trusted that Ma ji knew what she was doing when she

approached me. I believed all I needed was the intent to help her and the rest would follow.

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This was easier said than done. Following Ma ji’s visit I experienced the chaos,

confusion, and pain of someone who was dying. I was a master of eliminating pain and

suffering, but my experience was merging with people who were living, not with someone who

was dying.

It’s kind of the same, I thought to myself. I did hold the space with my spiritual

awareness while they shifted from one state to another. This was similar, except Maji was also

going to shift her form this time.

Ma ji’s dying body was now closing in on me and I felt immense pressure. My own

physical body began to crash and I could do nothing to stop it. Now slowing down rapidly, I

began to feel heavy and numb like a lifeless zombie. I had no energy and felt dense and dark. I

had no appetite and began to lose my equilibrium. I could not lift my head off the pillow or even

move. All I could do was lie flat on my back, be silent, and hold the state while the experience

washed through me.

Ma ji was a thousand miles away on her deathbed, yet as I lay in my home I could see

what she was seeing. I could see the family members and friends in and around the room – those

who had come to seek her blessing and bid her farewell. As well, I could see those in subtle

form who were gathering to receive and welcome her on the other side. I watched as her

brothers and husband waited patiently. There were also light forms I could not recognize. There

was a similarity and yet a huge difference between these substantial and subtle realities.

Here I was hovering between life and death, not mine but Ma ji’s. I could not rush or

control anything. I was not able to move out of my space and be elsewhere. Neither was I able

to move Ma ji out of my space. It seemed we were both suspended in time, chained to each other

until together we could make the transition from one dimension to another. I had no choice but

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to surrender and experience a conscious death as it came. Little did I realize that Ma ji, though

perhaps not consciously, had offered me an opportunity of a lifetime; a chance to consciously

witness and experience death while still fully alive.

The next morning, my lack of focus and coordination made it impossible for me to rise

from the bed. So I just lay there, accepting what was happening and trying to stay out of the

way. But by evening it was getting more difficult and I was really struggling.

That night Inder got a call informing him his grandmother’s condition had worsened and

he was needed. He grabbed the first available flight and I was left alone to deal with whatever

was coming. Strangely, I was not scared, just concerned for both Ma ji and myself. I remained

in bed and early the next morning I had a vision, this time through my own eyes, not Ma ji’s. Ma

ji was being helped into a boat. Two young men, one of whom wore a police uniform, supported

her as she stepped into the boat. I guessed the two men to be her brothers.

I understood that Ma ji was about to depart from this life. I called Inder and he

confirmed that Ma ji’s two favourite brothers had passed away a long ago and one of them had

been a policeman. Also that Ma ji had often said they would come for her when it was her time

to cross over.

Now Ma ji began giving me specific instructions she wanted passed on to the family,

designed to make her exit smooth and easy. She did not want to be touched or spoken to. She

wanted no one to cry. She wanted everyone to remain peaceful and quiet. “No parties, no

drinking alcohol,” she said. And most importantly, the family must take turns praying and

reading from spiritual texts for the next twenty-four hours, without interruption. By doing so,

they would create the qualitative energy support Ma ji needed to make her transition.

The family received the information and soon after the prayers were begun, Ma ji became

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silent and peaceful. At a certain point she stopped responding and that evening, when no one

was near, she took her last breath and embraced death.

A few hours before her exit, I had lost control over my bodily sensations. While I

trembled anxiously, intense waves of vibration shook my every cell. Depleted, I just lay in bed.

My breathing became shallow and, despite being in a well lit room, I began falling into darkness.

I could no longer see or think. Then my connection to Ma ji suddenly dissolved and I felt

hopelessly lost.

For the first four or five hours after her death these sensations continued. Ma ji had

moved on but I remained on this side, exhausted and distressed. Only by next morning did my

anxiety dissolve and I began to slowly recover.

Although a bit puzzled as to how I had been of service to Ma ji, I felt good to have done

everything in my capacity to help her. Confident that our personal commitment to each other

had been gracefully completed, I felt wonderfully fulfilled. I had kept my promise; now it was

her turn. ‘Ruby, I will be back to help you.’ Her words rang in my being.

Messages from the Other Side

“I walked through the valley of death only to find that on either side was life alive.”

Secretly, I was excited and hoped for her quick return so she could fulfill her promise.

But not wanting to raise my expectations too high, I decided not to think about it and turned my

focus back to my everyday life. Inder returned home and several days passed uneventfully.

However, on the fourteenth day, at Inder’s insistence I agreed to look for Ma ji. I simply

thought of her and put out the intention for her to call us. It did not take very long for her to

answer. We connected instantly and I was shocked when she appeared.

Ma ji looked absolutely different. Head held high, she stood straight, youthful and full of

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vigour. There was no sign of stress on her bright and glowing face.

“Well! How did it go?” I was eager to know.

Ma ji admitted she did not yet have all the dots connected, but she recounted her

experience of dying and death. She had assumed her death would be easy because of her strong

spiritual connection. Instead, she had found it hard to separate from her family. She had not

expected the bodily pain or the mental anguish. Unable to see her guides, she had panicked.

That’s when she thought of me, and never for a split second did she doubt my spiritual

strength which would help carry her over the threshold. She wanted to do this without any loss

of conscious memory, and for this she needed a strong, unpolluted, unconditioned spiritual

carrier. She felt she needed a physical ally for the work she still needed to do, and wanted to

transfer to another body of intelligence before her body weakened and disintegrated.

Ma ji admitted she was nervous before coming to see me, but relieved after we

connected. Like me, she was not fully aware of how the attuning would take place but she was

not concerned about it. Even though her frail body was giving way and her organs were shutting

down, she felt peaceful and strong in my presence and that helped her relax. This was the point

when she wanted to be left alone and not be disturbed.

As I listened to Ma ji describing her experience, I knew exactly what she was talking

about. She said for a long time she was quiet and there was no movement. She felt safe and

knew she would be taken care of, but she had still not seen her guides. She did not know

whether to wait and rest or to make a move and maybe pray. How does one act in the face of


It was not that she feared death, but not knowing when and how it would happen was

wearing her down. She began thinking about her future. What would she do if she had another

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chance, another opportunity at life? What was next? No sooner had the thought occurred when

she began seeing images of different possibilities. She quickly selected something close to her

heart, envisioning herself working as a spiritual science educator.

But even in that semi-conscious state, she realized that first she needed to open her heart

and step into a bigger picture. Ma ji admitted she could have done a lot more if she had been

more open and accepting. Her religious teachings had given her some awareness but they were

culturally conditioned. Her beliefs about how people should act had closed her heart and capped

her potential. She had fallen short. I was surprised she had been able to see a bigger picture so

near to her death.

These new realizations must have triggered something deeper and brought forth clarity

because soon after, she told me, the room filled with light and she could sense movement and

presence. She then felt herself lifting, and then watching from above as her sickly body drew its

last few breaths. There was commotion in the room, a few nurses running around, someone

making calls to her family. It was like walking out of one dream she said, into another.

Her death was not instantaneous, like a plug being pulled. It took time. As her

awareness shifted away from her body, the pressure and burden of her physical body released.

The light created an anesthetic effect, enabling her to move into a deep presence. Then she lost

awareness. Ma ji could not tell me what happened after that; she called it the unconscious state.

When she regained consciousness, her guides were beside her. As were others - her husband,

brothers and friends, no longer in physical form. By this time, her perception had changed and

she could not relate to anyone at a deep level. She quickly wrapped up the meeting by wishing

everyone the best on their journey and suggesting they move on and to work towards their

development and growth.

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I was surprised. I was used to Ma ji being bossy and overbearing, and imposing her truth

upon others. But that physical personality was gone. Now she was more self-focused. This was

certainly not the same person I had known.

Ma ji kept repeating that her memory was intact. At first, I did not understand what she

meant but she persisted. The process of death she explained, had brought back her memory. She

could remember even the tiniest details of her life with acute awareness. Additionally, she was

able to connect her experiences, realize her strengths and weak-nesses, and see her purpose in

everything she had done.

Ma ji was able to connect with spiritual intelligence through her religion and her guides.

But because she had lived with minimal awareness, she could not download that intelligence to a

level where she was conscious of her purpose as Soul. The promises she had made to herself as

Soul could not be lived the way she had originally intended.

Soon after she crossed over, Ma ji’s guides began helping her choose a path through

which she could become more open and aware. Together they designed the details of her work

as she wanted to get started without losing another moment. I also noticed her desire was still

regimented but far more relaxed. Her path now clear, she was ready one more time.

Ma ji left me with lots to ponder over. Even so, nothing of what she shared was beyond

my knowledge. I had not consciously studied spiritual science but I knew the ways of spirit.

As promised, Ma ji came back with more, but there was no real pattern. At times she

would reveal a great deal in one sitting. Other times she would come for a flying visit, drop a

split-second vision, and then disappear. I did not quite know what to make of everything she

told me but I did find myself looking forward to her visits every night.. There was a childlike

quality about her I was starting to enjoy.

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I usually shared the information with Inder and his sister who were always eager for the

fascinating information. Even though the messages made sense, I did not take them too

seriously. Sometimes I wondered if this was real or just another deception but it did not seem to

matter. Illusion was part of the greater reality; the play must go on. With this attitude, I

welcomed every opportunity to be in the company of subtle beings.

Then one day, Ma ji delivered a personal message for each member of her family and

told me to pass it on to them with no alterations. I expressed my concern. Tainted as they were

by ill feelings towards me, why would her family members trust the messenger or the message?

She assured me she would appear and inform one of them in their dream, one whom everyone

trusted and who could confirm the authenticity of her messages. On her word, that weekend I

delivered all the messages to the family.

A few nights later, Ma ji appeared in Pretty’s dream. I knew Pretty, who was a good

friend of the family, and she unfailingly delivered the message to the rest. The family was

touched at many levels and so was I. As for the messages, I noticed some were long and

detailed, especially for those on a life path similar to hers. For all others, the messages were

short and sweet. The words she used were direct, thought-provoking, and inspiring; they led to

new openings. I realized how differently we respond at different levels of awareness.

One day Ma ji informed me she would not be available for some time. She was going to

attend some sort of school, to meet with many masters of various traditions whose knowledge

was part of the manifest world. Through them she would access a field of subtle intelligence that

would enhance the knowledge to best serve her Soul’s purpose. She said she had spent many

years in organized religion and was now going to step outside the box and develop her genius.

With strength and clarity, she committed to help others do the same. True religion, she said, was

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to align all dimensions and deliver our unique and real genius.

She talked about how being unique keeps one close to their Source. This is when we can

create the holistic dynamics to serve the larger purpose. Anything short of this will divide and

fragment our relationship to the self and each other. Acceptance and tolerance will not be

necessary if we give up idealizing and control. Conflict is a result of an undeveloped intelligence

and potential.

There was no judgment and I noticed Ma ji was open. Realizing I had knowledge but

lacked understanding, I asked if I could accompany her to these schools of understanding. She

did not think it was my purpose or need to do so. “You are good the way you are.” She smiled

and promised to keep in touch.

Ma ji kept her word. She told me she spent time with masters and teachers who practiced

self-awareness and self-knowledge through self-inquiry. “Education is a means to power,” she

said, “and personal development brings forth the ability to hold that power. However, power

without a purpose is as meaningless as a cat with two horns.”

“I have learned the process of self-inquiry,” she said. “This process is fundamental in

regaining lost power. Self-inquiry awakens the intellect and put together with subtle intuition,

can give rise to a spontaneous spiritual breakthrough. We can gauge our level of intelligence by

the questions we ask. The question arises with the answer even though we are not able to

perceive the answer first. This is a way for inner awareness to become externalized. Both

question and answer together serve as a tool in developing conscious awareness. On the other

hand, questions asked by and of others serve only to stimulate our intellect; they do not awaken

our deeper intelligence.”

Ma ji talked a great deal about living “out of a hole” or from conditioned responses. “We

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see little, we feel little, and we do little,” she said. “Our little world becomes “be-little-ing” if

not expanded. We cannot relate to anything beyond our confined space. This smallness is a

direct result of not living up to our potential; it constitutes living out of a hole instead of a


“We adopt beliefs unconsciously and out of ignorance, and follow the beliefs we are

given, no questions asked,” she said. “We are taught methodically and we teach the same way.

We repeat, we teach, and we make others believe us; we remain unconscious and spread

unawareness. Few of us question the perspective we are given. We seem to grow in the same

direction and this gives us a lopsided understanding of the universe and of ourselves. In other

words, we do not mature into wholeness.”

“ Have you ever seen the blue in the water or the sky?” she asked. I was excited by her

new approach and what she was sharing. That night I went to sleep looking for the blue.

There was much more. One day, Ma ji even talked about sexuality as a means to reach

spiritual heights. “Sex with awareness can take us to the top, we are hardwired to do so,” she

said, referring to Tantra with which I was familiar. “The more knowledge we have of this

science, the more we can use it to our benefit,” she concluded.

I could not help thinking how she had condemned this path while in physical form. She

thought it was evil and should not be discussed. In her old belief system, praying, service, and

humility took you to the top; no other way was acceptable. She was now seeing things she had

considered evil during her life with new eyes. I realized it was all about greater openness and


“All teachings and world religions point to the truth,” she said. “But they are simply

pointers, not truth itself. One still needs to walk the distance to experience the truth. Even then,

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our truth is always partial.” These words confirmed and validated what I had learned through

personal experience.

She described the role of spiritual masters, teachers, saints, guides, and angels. I was

taken aback by her information on angels.

“Angels are different from ancestral spirits or guides,” she reported. “They are helpers

created to assist those in need. Time bound, they appear and disappear. They don’t have to know

us or our life path to help in times of disaster, trouble, and distress. Angels help us at crossroads

and shed light on our blind spots. They cause things to happen that seem like miracles because

they mostly remain invisible.”

There was too much to absorb. All I could say was, “Wow! Really? Oh no, ah yes, and

oops!” I was like the flute; the information was simply passing through me. At first, I did not

realize how this information was affecting me; it was too subtle to be noticed. But then I noticed

some changes. I felt more confident and clear, a bit lighter and brighter. I started to become

more aware and noticed a big difference in my attitude and way of living. It was like someone

had switched on the headlights, and I could see and understand a lot more. Every night I went to

bed with anticipation, waiting for Ma ji to appear. And every day I observed more changes

within myself. I felt as light as a butterfly; my passion was growing wings right before my eyes.

I did not want it to stop.

This went on until early October, when she disappeared for a week or so. She returned

with a twinkle in her eye as if she had found a missing treasure. I was eager to listen.

“We each have a personal link to connect with the greater field of intelligence,” she said.

“In addition, each of us has four personal guides who act as connectors to the greater field of

intelligence. However, if and when our personal link gets clogged and we are unable to access

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the intelligence that serves our creativity, we can call upon these guides to help us. They are in

waiting and will not interfere, but when called upon will create the circumstances for a


She went on to explain more, but I was unable to comprehend what she was describing.

Even so, I was thrilled to know about the guides. I had connected with guides and angelic realms

before and knew the power of asking but this time it felt different. I told her I would give it a try.

“There’s more, “she said. “Do you want to be fully conscious of your life purpose? Do

you want to live it intentionally and willfully?”

“Of course,” I replied with growing excitement.

“Meditate for forty-one days, for forty-one minutes each day, and you will burst open the

lock to greater awareness; you will see everything,” she promised. “Just follow the instructions I

give you,” Ma ji whispered, as though she were sharing a secret. “They are not from me but

somehow I got wind of them. You can try it out and see what happens.”

“Wow! It’s too good to be true,” I exclaimed. Of course, I had been given many miracle

techniques in the past. I had tried them, passed them on, and then discarded them. But I still had

faith that one day I would discover the biggest miracle technique of all. I had waited long at the

threshold of the unknown, waiting for something to happen. I had tried anything I was offered

just in case it was really the big thing. I did not quite know what I was looking for, but I knew I

was waiting for something bigger than the truth of science and the reality of the manifest world.

Deeper than scriptural teachings and spiritual knowledge. Greater than love and the meaning of

life. This was the recipe I was looking to discover. Could Ma ji’s technique bring me closer to

my heart’s desire?

“What if I’m crazy and this is all in my head?” I thought as I lay my head on the pillow.

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“No, you are not crazy,” I heard a voice whisper from somewhere deep within.

“Okay, then I’m in,” I agreed.

I decided to try Ma ji’s recipe even though I did not know what I wanted or whether my

wants and needs were spiritual, mental, social, or simply egocentric. It didn’t matter; I was

going to connect with the guides.

That night I went to sleep with both eyes open, unwilling to miss anything. I dreamt of

the many wonders of the world including the pyramids and the Taj Mahal. And I had a vision.

In the vision, a bright light appeared directly in front of me. It was so bright it blinded me and I

could not see where I was going. Suddenly, I realized I was facing the wrong way; the light

should be behind me, not in front. So I turned around and let the light shine from behind to

guide me. Now I could see the path ahead. This created a flow I had not experienced earlier.

“What now?” I wondered. Just then I remembered Ma ji ’s last words, “The guides are

waiting for you. All you have to do is ask.”

Cleaning the Mirror

“Help is ready when I am.”

It was a chilly morning, nevertheless I awoke eager and bright-eyed. Today was the big

day; I was ready to make my first contact with the four guides. I wanted proof of their existence.

If Ma ji’s information was correct, this would be no less than another miracle.

But what was I going to ask these guides? I was bombarded by so many desires and

needs I could not decide which one should come first. On top of that, I began to wonder if this

whole exercise might be just another intellectual scam.

Somehow I managed to clear my mind and concentrate on what I truly wanted. Rather

than asking for something petty or mundane, I decided to ask for something that would give me

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what I needed most. What was the point of catching a small fish if I could get my hands on a

beautiful, primal sea creature?

My request needed to be clear so the guides would understand it. At the same time, I

hoped they would not restrict themselves to my limited request, but through insight would give

me much more. As the day progressed, so did my greed and I became more confused. For me,

asking for something was not easy unless I was praying. I resolved this problem by deciding to

be present and spontaneous. Once in the company of the guides, I would know what to ask.

Asking might not come easy but I had done it before.

My memory took me back to1992 when I sought that first big breakthrough. I had made

it happen then, but now, thirteen years later I yearned for something more. Even though I felt

complete and fulfilled at one level, there was a lingering desire for greater wealth and the

opportunity to manifest my intelligence in a more tangible way.

Initially, I had fallen blindly into a life that was magical and full and kept me occupied

for many years. But over the years, I had become complacent and my prayer and meditation

practice had fallen away. At best, I coped with my shortcomings; at worst, I ignored them. Even

though my Soul work with others had progressed well and I had helped many people, within

myself I still felt inadequate and incomplete.

Part of my suffering stemmed from knowing I had not reached my potential. I longed to

come into personal fullness, to be strong and healthy and live my calling. I wanted to dig deeper,

to know myself as Soul, my roots and my history. I felt the suffering would end if I lived out all

the Soul Promises I had made. But part of me feared I might not remember my Soul Promise.

The fact was I had been feeling a little depressed when Ma ji appeared and presented me

with a new way of connecting with a greater intelligence. I could play with Ma ji’s messages but

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not become too involved. But I had no idea really that I was about to hit the bull’s eye. That I

would enter a subtle realm enabling me to identify myself as a Soul with a history. With a sense

of intrigue, playfulness, and sensibility, I willfully swung open the door and invited the guides

into my inner domain.

The Four Pillars of Light Meditation

Ma ji’s instructions had been very clear and specific. “Don’t waste time personalizing

the relationship with the guides,” she had instructed. “These guides are not personal beings.

They are a form of intelligence that appears as light forms or pillars. You don’t need to know

them, or even see them; just know they exist. Your connection will be instantaneous and will

trigger the flow of intelligence and expansive awareness. If you just meditate for forty-one

minutes each day, you will get whatever you want. All you have to do is ask.”

Frankly, I was more interested in results than in the process. I began connecting by

visualizing myself sitting in the centre of four light pillars, two ahead and two behind. At first, I

was going to extend an invitation to the guides. I wanted their help in gathering information

about myself as Soul, connecting to my Soul purpose, and developing Soul awareness. But this

did not happen. As soon as I sat down I could feel a presence, as if someone was waiting for my

arrival. The light from the pillars penetrated me, and I felt compelled to speak spontaneously out


“I am fearful, angry, hurt, and lonely,” I began. “I still suffer with doubts. I have

followed my inner guidance and shared everything I could. I have no more to offer to others. I

don’t know what’s next, but I do know I cannot continue until I receive more.”

And then I began weeping – pouring out my heart. I did not think there was anyone

listening, but it felt good to empty myself. After a while, I fell into a deep and silent presence,

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and stopped thinking. There was no movement except that of my tears. Much later, I finally

opened my eyes. When I returned to my bed to sleep, it was with a new feeling of lightness and


The next morning I awoke feeling calmer than usual, and went about my business with a

new ease. The euphoria and peace from the previous night remained with me all day. I waited

eagerly for the night, to connect again with the guides. First I would remain silent and let the

mind chatter pass. Then I would visualize the light forms, and speak with an open heart. There

was nothing to ask for; all I wanted was to bathe and soak in the timeless presence. The stillness

lasted three days.

By the fourth day, I realized I was a bit removed from everyone. I was participating but

not engaging. I could see myself speak, talk, and hear. Even though I had experienced this state

before, there was a greater awareness this time. My pleasure was more internal than external. I

felt light-hearted and noticed I enjoyed doing things for others.

I soon realized that whenever I planned to ask for something in advance, I was unable to

follow through. Instead, I spontaneously blurted out something else. I realized that what my

mind wanted and what I truly needed were two different things.

Desires are usually externally driven with uncertainty and confusion while the inner

being craves something else to awaken. I also realized the act of asking verbally was solely for

my benefit, making me aware of my mind. This increased awareness brought me more clarity

and confidence.

As I perfected the meditation, I learned to silence the mind and listen to the inner voice.

A few moments into the meditation, I would speak out with clarity and precision. What came

through was amazing! The effects of the meditation would last all day. The process was

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changing my way of thinking and I was starting to live in this new way of thinking. I realized I

was making different choices. I was stronger, fuller, and closer to living my dream life when

following the sense of my heart.

It was another ten days or so before I noticed how the inner force was shifting my

physical. One day as I sat in meditation, my head began rotating in a circular motion as if to

create a better flow. After the rotation stopped I was unable to move my head for a long time.

So I just sat there in full surrender so as not to interfere with the process. I could feel different

vibrations and later, I noticed my neck was stronger and my mind was more clear and alert.

On another occasion, I began rubbing my hands together vigourously. Then I clapped

and tapped different parts of my body. Instantly I felt more energy, clarity, and vitality. I was

also guided to breathe in a certain way. At the beginning of each meditation, I would breathe

gently through my nose, as if holding a feather in the air.

I realized the forty-one minutes Ma ji had prescribed for me was the exact amount of time

I needed to connect with a greater intelligence, resolve things, and rejuvenate my mind and body.

It was as if the meditation practice had connected me to a mega computer, a direct source of

energy and intelligence. I continued to receive input even when not meditating.

I decided to share the meditation with my friends and a few clients. I explained the

technique and let them try it out. Almost all of them experienced some breakthrough. It was

helping them become more calm, confident, and joyful.

The meditations generated an energy flow that was intoxicating and addictive. I was in

deep presence, yet functioning at an optimal level. But there was more to come.

The Four Pillars of Light Meditation

1. Visualize yourself sitting in the centre of four light pillars, two ahead and two behind.

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2. Don’t waste time personalizing the relationship with the guides.

3. Your connection will be instantaneous and will trigger the flow of intelligence.

4. Meditate for forty-one minutes each day.

5. Do this for forty-one days.

For me it was forty-one days, but for others it was twenty-one days. Try it out – see what

works best for you.

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Chapter Nine
Five Visions of Past Lives
“I realized the process of awakening is not to learn more, but to remember more.”

Vision of Past Life in India as the Woman Social Worker

One day as I settled down to meditate, I began to see images. Suddenly, I stepped into a

full-blown vision. Within seconds my stomach was tied in knots, and I felt overwhelmed with

panic unlike anything I had ever known. I had seen hundreds of visions for others but rarely one

for myself. I was not only seeing the vision, I was experiencing it as well. I realized I was

experiencing myself in a past life.

I find myself in a village in rural India around the late 1800s. A woman in her early

thirties is looking directly at me. Her big brown eyes lock onto mine and I can feel her inside

me. There is no denying this woman is part of my history. She is me.

The woman is about to be hanged in an open well by at least twenty men who stand

around her. There’s a rope around her neck which is yet to be pulled. Down inside the well lie

the corpses of other women who have met a similar fate. I want to see more but I am frightened

and in shock.

I understand she is a social worker, who has been trying to stop the Hindu practice of

Sati, whereby a widow is burnt alive on her dead husband’s funeral pyre. The reasons for this

barbaric practice are social, financial, and cultural, and based in mythology and superstition.

There are many theories about its origins. Society declines the burden of a widow. Shunned as

bad luck, such a woman loses her place in the family and society. Dying with her husband is

considered the woman’s way of honouring and respecting him. As much as the widow herself

steps into the funeral pyre, but actually this decision is forced upon her by the elders.

The woman’s eyes and mine are locked. I notice her rich brown skin and her long dark

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hair rolled in a bun. Her slim tight body is wrapped in a white cotton sari. The woman is about

to lose her life but there is no fear or anger within her. She is focussed and determined.

I am aware that she came to educate the villagers and help bring social reforms. But

charged with inciting mind and making trouble, her house was burnt and she was ordered to

leave. Now she is about to be hanged.

I feel nauseated and want to leave the scene. But the fire in the woman’s eyes holds me

firmly and forces me to witness and experience what is about to come. At first, I am angry, hurt,

and distressed. I want to punish the assailants. But then I connect with the message she is

conveying to me. She is compelling me to go beyond the anger and connect with something

deeper. It is here that I remember a forgotten promise.

I have always felt the need to become a powerful instrument of transformation for myself

and others. In this life, my personal struggle has always been to combat unhealthy internal and

external influences, to rise above cultural and social conditioning, and to connect with my

spiritual intelligence. I deeply resent rituals based on superstition and have always been repulsed

by situations where I was forced to follow a way that went against my inner core, or where I did

not have the freedom to choose.

In my early years, I lacked the confidence and strength to speak my mind. Instead, I

suffered by cocooning myself in anger and resentment. I spent many years fighting the system

and traditional ways of thinking. In the process, I forgot that rather than depleting energy, I

could transcend it, work at a higher level, and get far better results.

As I watched the woman die, she passed the torch of light and awareness to me. I could

feel the transfer of the promise and the strength needed to fulfill it. The physical facts of the

woman’s life were unimportant - it was the spiritual connection of purpose I had needed. I felt a

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new freedom in knowing I was strong enough to face my challenges; I had done it before and I

could do it again.

The vision of the hanged woman started to open up old wounds, but then I stopped and

suddenly I became aware of the choices I had made in this life. Incarnating as a woman, the

fourth daughter, non acceptance of a conditioned culture, my need to grow from within, my

desire to be a powerful voice and force and more. In seconds my entire life flashed in me and I

could make sense of my inner psychology and see how it was influencing me to think and act in

ways befitting my purpose. I was inspired in new ways, all over again.

This extraordinary vision was the first of many insights into my Soul history. It made me

more determined than ever to awaken my intelligence through direct experience and Soul

awareness. I realized the process of awakening is not to learn more but to remember more. I

loved this new awareness and it gave me the courage to explore myself from a Soul perspective.

I appreciated the workings of the Soul even more, and began to understand the true meaning of

reincarnation. My mind could only see the small picture, but as Soul I had access to the whole

truth of my past, present, and future.

I had always craved freedom and now I could feel true spiritual freedom within my reach.

It was not freedom from things, people, or situations, but rather freedom from a way of thinking

and the limitations of a smaller perspective.

The image of a bird trying to escape from a cage came to me. She kept flapping her

wings to get away. In her struggle, she failed to see that the cage door was already open. She

had always been free; she just did not know it.

Each succeeding vision was loaded with multiple meanings. The deeper I went, the more

meaningful they became. They brought clarity, gave me direction and guidance and became a

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most effective tool for self-realization. It is possible I could have seen them in a dream but

seeing them in a conscious state brought spontaneous clarity and courage.

I was on a roll. Ma ji’s information about the Soul guides was real; the visions

and meditations proved it beyond doubt. The Soul meditations were a vehicle and I was going

somewhere. The destination was not important; the journey itself was now the big thrill.

The nights were intoxicating. I enjoyed the adrenaline surge coursing through my body.

I reveled in the field of orgasmic potentiality, making love to all possibilities. The intention or

the asking was the foreplay. It made my juices flow. Not wanting to disturb the ecstatic mating

of consciousness and energy, I would sometimes purposely postpone asking for anything. Just to

be present in the field was enough. I wanted to tickle every chord in me and play out the music.

The deeper I sank into the timeless presence, the more addictive it became. Within

seconds of feeling the presence, my crown chakra would open and I would enter an infinite sea

of spaciousness. By resting in this space, I could separate myself from emotional and mental

preoccupations, creating a freedom to enjoy meditating without any attachment. It was like

taking a vacation from self-concern. The silence that pervaded this space was sometimes so

great that I could hear my body functioning and feel the subtle space between each cell. It was


Vision of the Past Life as a Japanese Dancer

The Final Dance

It had been a few days since my last vision. I wanted to know more about my Soul

history and spiritual roots and anticipated another vision. I did not have to wait long to see

another aspect of my being.

This time it was through a Japanese dancer. I am in Japan and the picture of the woman

sitting on the porch of a small wooden house is too perfect to be real. Serene and quiet, she is

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looking out at the green valley below. With eyes half closed, as if in meditation, she seems to be

part of the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen. I guess her to be in her late sixties.

I am awe struck by her beauty and hooked by her silent presence. As I go deep into her

inner being, she begins to feel familiar. I realize she is me in a past life. Within seconds, I am

flowing in her energy. It is like taking a plunge into a river of silence. I know this silence will

reveal the information I am looking for. I want to know her story, so I put the vision in reverse

and try to see scenes of her earlier life.

It becomes clear the woman was a famous geisha dancer in her early years. I watch her

story unfold in my personal space, her existence not outside of me.

The geisha has lived alone for most of her life. I am taken aback by her lack of need.

She seems to be stress-free, full, and content. I wonder if she has ever had a thought and this

lightness of being is a new experience for me.

As the vision unfolds, I see her in heavy make-up and a beautiful white, red, and gold

kimono. On a stage decorated with lanterns and red and blue silk banners, she gives a solo


Her eyes, noticeably soft yet fiery, are inviting, and the music soft. As she dances, she is

mesmerizing, her arms moving effortlessly in slow intentional moves. Her steps are small and

precise; her moves are calculated yet free. She moves her body gracefully, like a serpent. Each

part of her moves in a separate yet synchronized way. She seems to be taunting and teasing the

elements with her natural moves. I can tell as I experience her that every move has been

structured, planned and rehearsed, yet she is flowing with ease and spontaneity.

This geisha loves her work, and although she performs for an audience, she dances first

for her herself. She surrenders to everything outside and inside. Elemental nature guides her,

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providing the natural flow that makes her dance a fluid work of art, and giving her the grace to

be both the dance and the dancer. Her intention builds the foundation and purpose; her surrender

creates the spontaneous flow. This is when the dancer becomes an artist and the dance becomes

an artwork.

The vision returns to the porch. This time I sit down to experience the serenity and

detachment of that space. I look up at the full moon and night sky laden with tiny stars. I sit for

a long time until I am wrapped in the inky darkness and drift into the silent space.

When I awoke from this vision, I was possessed by the geisha’s dance, wondering what

made it so magical and heavenly. The answer came instantly. It was not the geisha who

performed the dance I witnessed; it was Soul completing the final dance.

My Soul-self had spoken. I was in touch. Light flashed from within and sparks flew out

of me as I cried out, “Me too! I too want to complete my last dance!”

“You already have,” I heard the whisper from within. “It is the geisha’s last dance that

has brought you here and now.” Then there was silence. I began to weep but stopped my tears

before I lost my ability to witness the experience.

The vision hit my heart centre. I had always felt lonely and isolated. But as I touched the

geisha’s experience, I became filled with the juicy nectar of love and beauty. The geisha

awakened the memory of peace and ease. I was in the flow and now I had the switch, the

recognition to turn on this state with my intention.

I also became aware that the Soul journey is always solo. Once again, I realized my

memory was the treasure chest where the jewels of my Soul history were stored. I could, in any

moment, open the chest and release their richness. I had a brand new appreciation for


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My realizations were quiet, subtle, and gentle - whispers more than loud announcements.

Far more than just visions, these were vehicles of transformation. What I made of them was

entirely up to me. Except for Inder and a few friends, I mostly kept them private, like a woman

secretly in love. I loved the night, the dark, the unknown, the unpredictability, and the

unconscious. They offered me the space to be part of any vision and any experience.

“Write them down or you will forget them,” my friends suggested. But at this point I

decided to just enjoy them. The source of the visions was not important to me, neither was their

sequence. I only cared that they were cleaning the mirror of my mind and giving me new insight

about my nature as Soul. If these visions have a future, let them find it, I thought.

It was now mid-November of 2005, and my new lightness made me realize how heavy

and burdened I must have been. Unresolved issues weigh heavily, I thought. Part of me was

shedding; slowly and steadily, another mask was falling off. I could feel a new identity being

established. Now I wanted to be physically healthy and lose the extra weight I was carrying. I

wanted my body to match the new lightness of my mind. I wanted to do things I had not done

before and felt as though I was getting ready for something. But I did not know what that

something might be.

I did not expect more visions. I was still meditating, but despite this, I was soon restless

again. My mind was active again, like a curious puppy wanting to chew on every idea that came

up. I noticed I was losing interest in concentrating or meditating for a full forty-one minutes.

Maybe this is the end, I thought. But soon after that I had three more visions, one right after the


Unlike the previous visions, I connected instantly to what I was seeing. There was not

the slightest separation between myself and the individuals in my visions. The familiar

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environments and images comforted my heart. The information unfolded rapidly each time and I

had the ability to live the entire experience while also witnessing it.

Vision of Past Life as the Korean Martial Arts Expert

A New Eye in the Making

I see a Korean male in his early forties, a master in the martial arts and one of the most

skilled marksmen of his time. I see him begin practice at a very young age. He lives alone near

a hilly valley in a secluded part of a village. Not close to many people, he enjoys his time alone

and practices target shooting several hours a day.

His vibrations are unbelievable, and I realize quickly he is me in a past life. Strong as

metal and fluid as water, he is straight but flexible. Vigilant and agile like a tai chi master, he

uses ‘focusing and hitting the target’ as a moving meditation.

Surges of energy and sparks shoot up my spine; this has never happened to me before. I

cannot contain the energy sitting down, so I rise and walkabout my living room to enjoy the full

body experience. I feel his posture. Tall and sturdy, my broad shoulders are strong enough to

carry any weight.

The man’s chest houses the cleanest and clearest heart I have ever seen. This is the first

body I have experienced that is so richly put together. I am really enjoying his mind and muscle

power. He knows exactly what he is doing. I have no doubt that he has the most perfectly

aligned body, mind, and spirit I have ever seen.

His communication with me is immediate, direct, and without emotion or sentiment. The

marksman says he knows his purpose and has mastered his life accordingly. He treasures his

mind and body as they are the sacred vehicle to fulfill his purpose. He lives his purpose with

clarity and a strong sense of pride. He feeds his spirit with awareness. He practices target

shooting, meditation, and bodywork to develop his spiritual potential. His work is an extension

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of himself and his aloofness serves his purpose well. The qualities that distinguish him are

discipline, structure, and a sense of pride. He sets high standards for himself and works hard to

meet his own challenges.

The marksman is essentially a hired killer. He is much sought after and can demand a

high fee to match the high standard of his work. No one bargains with him. This is an old issue

for me, and I want his input.

As a spiritual guide, I always found it difficult to determine my fee. Although my gift of

awareness and healing were self discovered, I was not trained in any particular system, my skill

was never in question.

My work was very specialized and demanding. My intuitiveness helped me diagnose

problems and deep-rooted issues. I needed a lot of energy to explore the multiple dimensions to

retrieve information and history on each client. There were times when I became trapped in the

energy field of a client and lost my own sense of grounding. My success depended upon

maintaining my own spiritual connection and force, for this I needed good physical and spiritual

health myself. How could I determine a monetary value for all this?

I listened eagerly for the marksman’s perspective. The issue was very simple for him.

He had a special skill and was well-trained. His fee was in line with his professional ability and

not any external factors. His work and his fee were a reflection of his self-worth.

In a flash, I reflected upon my real problem- Even though I had always known what I was

meant to do, I had not made conscious commitment to living my purpose. Rather, I thought the

Divine intelligence was responsible for the spiritual consulting work I did. Subsequently, I felt

unworthy of this spiritual work; I could not feel the same abundance and enjoyment within

myself that I brought to them.

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I had not realized that I was to use my special gifts with responsibility. Part of this

responsibility was to keep my spiritual link clear and clean so I could deliver my work properly.

This would have meant a lifestyle change, one which I was not ready to adopt. I needed a proper

discipline and structure. In fact, I felt burdened by the mere thought of discipline and personal

responsibility, and would fight it tooth and nail.

I remembered neither making a Soul Promise of my own free will, nor the gracious

support I was given by the Divine order. Rather than being humbled, I felt I was doing the

Divine intelligence a favour by working in the spiritual field. I never understood that it was I

who had promised and so the responsibility was mine.

The Korean marksman helped me understand the connection between my feelings of

unworthiness and my reluctance to charge the appropriate fee for my work. I had felt guilty

about taking money from others even though I added so much value to their lives.

While the vision had a powerful effect, it was the awareness of the Soul-self rapidly

unfolding before me that was transforming me.

And then it struck me. My awakening in 1992 was instant, but the knowledge and special

gifts I had received were not new. I had spent many lifetimes practicing and developing the skills

that made me the person I was today. My gift was the result of all the hard work and lessons

learned in other lives.

Now that I understood the meaning of a Soul-purposed life, I felt ready for a new start.

The image of a spiritual warrior flashed through my mind. I had lacked structure and discipline,

and had not perfected my physical body to the level of my spiritual calling. I realized that while I

knew how to empower others, I did not become conscious of my own power. I also realized the

spiritual warrior would keep coming back until I had accomplished my purpose and every cell of

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my intelligence had become conscious. I vowed never to forget this promise.

The spiritual fire was burning in me; I felt ignited and charged. Old perspectives and

values melted into the ground. My body felt hot like a volcano. I rested my head on the pillow

and let the lava flow downward, finding its own pathways. Within fifteen minutes I had another


Vision of Past Life as the Old Chinese Healer

“It is the story, more than the medicine, which made the storyteller a powerful healer.”

I see an old man living in the hills in northern China. In his nineties, he limps with the

aid of a wooden cane, because of a problem with his right hip. His tiny, warped, wooden shed-

like dwelling is surrounded by huge trees. It is cold and dark and the only light is from the sun

or the fire he builds. His only companions are the birds and the big cats that prowl through the

hills by day and lay around the shed at night. He has a special relationship to herbs and plants.

He knows about their medicinal and healing properties and uses them to create healing


The old man is attuned to the elements. His father taught him to effectively communicate

and work in synchronicity with them, so he grows his herbs, flowers, and other plants in

alignment with the time and season. He knows that the position of the sun and the moon

produces the right vibration within the plants and increases their healing power. His lifestyle too

is lived in accordance to the laws and cycles of nature. He rises before the sun and retires before

sunset. By respecting nature and the elements, he maintains the quality of his life and his work.

The old man is a well-known healer. He dries the herbs, special leaves, and flowers in

the pure light of the sun. Some are cooked and made into a paste which he stores in small tin

jars. These medicines mature in two to three weeks. His special tea made from wild flowers has

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tremendous healing effects.

The villagers welcome him with open arms. They are comforted by his presence and

pour out their hearts. His coming is considered auspicious, as no evil or illness can be where he

is. He is also known as a storyteller and there is a story with every medicine. Perhaps it is the

story, more than the medicine, which brings about the healing.

I am surprised by the old man’s energy and stamina. He is slow but works continuously

from sunrise to sunset. Despite the problem with his hip, he walks several miles a day. I

consider my own hip struggle and wish I had his stamina and commitment.

I can also feel his calm connectedness with everything. Suddenly I am aligned with him

and the memory of this life returns in full living colour.

The fresh air of the hills is intoxicating. I can touch the lush green trees and shrubbery

and feel them between my fingers. The scent of wild flowers fills my nostrils. The sounds of the

running waterfalls and the crackling of the dry fallen leaves under my feet give me company. I

look for the singing birds, I wonder how my friends, the big cats, are doing. The sun is about to

go down and soon the moon will rise. I wait for the night sky to turn deep blue and for the stars

to twinkle.

I sit down on a big rock in front of the shed and begin to cry. I do not know whether it is

separation or union that brings this painful pleasure. My tears are uncontrollable now but the

louder I howl, the more connected I feel. It takes me awhile to settle down, and only then do I

remember to go looking for the jewels of this experience, the memories that will help me

manifest my Soul gifts.

How little conflict I feel in the old man’s body and environment. I am intimately

connected with everything. There is nowhere that is not home. The plants and flowers serve

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their purpose as much as I serve mine. My special ability to communicate with plants, animals,

and all of the elements is at its peak. Nature’s intelligence is totally transparent and accessible to


The old man and I shared many similarities. The stories I told my clients and that brought

extraordinary results had included birds, animals, trees, and flowers and all of nature. As simple

as they were, they influenced psychology, physiology and chemistry.

I too knew about the chemistry of visualizations, although not consciously. The exact

visual details I gave my clients were designed to suit their personal chemistry and to stimulate

healing. For example, I might ask a client to visualize the light of the sun at nine o’clock in the

morning instead of at noon or four o’clock in the afternoon. These visualizations were season

specific too. They worked their magic just like specially created potions. Somehow, I had

known that this magic was not new to me, that I had used it before. I also knew that when we are

in attunement with the sun and moon, we can channel high amounts of quality energy.

The old storyteller boosted my energy and awareness; I had a new appreciation for what I

knew. The old man’s no mind existence was contagious. I could feel the silence descend upon

me when I stepped into another experience.

Vision of Expanding in the Light

“Light filtered into dark spaces and everything became visible.”

I stand facing the sun. The sun is staring back at me. Its light is falling upon me and is

now entering me. Light trickles everywhere inside me, touching every cell. As it moves through

each cell of my being, I feel a tickling and pinching. Something is opening; the doors and

shutters within me are flying open. As the light touches my heart, I feel full and tears well up in

my eyes. The light moves downward and touches my reproductive organs. I feel sensations of

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tickling and begin to feel great joy. My arms and legs begin to expand and I stretch in all four

directions - north, south, east, and west. The small bones in my neck are stretching and the space

between them is opening. There is more room in my being now. My facial bones and other

bones move and readjust. I am both observing and experiencing. As I stand in the light of the

sun, dripping in golden light, I breathe the light in and out. Then I merge with the light.

I feel greater awareness. The light extends beyond me and I can see everything within its

radius. But I cannot see into the dark space beyond the rim of light. My perception is only as

good as my level of conscious awareness. I am light, conditioned with specific cut and design to

serve my purpose. I take a deep breath and feel my Soul light. Afterward, I cannot think for the

longest time.

The effects of this powerful vision were immediate. I no longer wished to be ignorant of

the dark and unremembered parts of myself. I was certain my conscious connection with my

light body would benefit me wholly.

Light filtered into the dark spaces and everything became more visible. I felt humbled by

the Source and Infinite Self that had given birth to my Soul, my mind, my finite self, Ruby. I

broke out in a big smile, knowing there was a much bigger trickster than myself. Then came

another past life vision.

Vision of Past Life as the Tibetan Boy

A Master To Be

A six-year old Tibetan boy sits in front of his master. “I can’t! I can’t!” he cries.

“Yes, you can,” the determined master replies as he aims a tiny sharp stone at the boy’s

third eye.

“Ouch! That hurts,” the boy cries out.

“Now concentrate on the pain,” says the master.

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Every few minutes the master throws another stone which hits the boy on the same spot.

The boy whimpers with pain but soon becomes quiet. Blood drips from the open wound and

runs down his face but the boy does not move. The process continues. The master aims a few

more stones at the boy’s third eye but the boy no longer reacts. He has become one with the

pain. A few more stones and the blood still drips. Now the boy has gone beyond feeling and is

not conscious of the pain. I know the boy is me.

Later he describes the experience to his master. He explains that not knowing when the

other stone was coming created more fear than pain. Once he became aware of this anxiety, the

pain reduced considerably. The warm dripping blood distracted him further from his pain and

soon his sensations disappeared. He has no words to describe what happened after that. All he

can say is there was a definite point of separation. He ceased to exist in a split-second.

The master needs no explanation; he knows the boy’s experience. He smiles, knowing he

made the right decision in choosing this young boy out of many. The selection process was

tedious; there is no easy way to determine the next Bodhisattva14 who will carry on the mission

of the previous thirteen masters.

The boy was picked from a neighbouring village. It was his mother who informed the

head monk of the boy’s uncanny ability to communicate with the invisible, his innate knowledge,

and his deep interest in the metaphysical. The head monk had been quick to summon the boy,

and after considerable testing and questioning was convinced this was no young Soul. This was

the Soul of an experienced master who had come back to complete an unfulfilled purpose. He

reported his findings to the lama and the following spring, the lama came down to the village to

meet with the boy.

In Buddhism, a bodhisattva means either "enlightened (bodhi) existence (sattva)" or "enlightenment-being"
Also, "Wisdom-Being." It is the name given to anyone who, motivated by great compassion, has generated
bodhichitta, a spontaneous wish to attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all living beings. From Wikipedia.

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The lama asked the boy to sit on the floor and meditate upon the fire that was burning in

one part of the room. Beside him was placed a walking stick, a metal bowl, and meditation

beads. While staring at the fire, the boy was able to connect with the subtle realms and locate the

previous three masters who had transcended to higher levels of awareness, beyond the Soul and

physical body. These masters worked with consciousness and had developed a way to manifest

consciousness with intention, energy, and intelligence. They had given a new meaning to being

awake; physical manifestation with purpose.

The boy had successfully retrieved the desired information and expressed it with such

care and integrity, the lama was impressed. The boy described the work of the masters and gave

proof he carried the incarnated intelligence that would continue the work of the masters. The

lama became certain this boy was the expression of a master he was meant to mentor. For

several years he had prepared himself for this purpose, expecting the boy’s arrival.

As the boy continued to meditate on the fire, the lama watched him withdraw into a silent

trance. Half an hour later, both the boy and the lama were vibrating at the same frequency where

they could decipher the secret code and access the work of the previous masters, including their

intelligence, knowledge, and plans. The lama had quickly declared the boy as a master-to-be and

vowed to fulfill his promise to provide the environment and discipline necessary to nurture the

boy and the promise. As was the custom, the boy bid farewell to his parents, received their

blessings, and journeyed with the lama to the hilltop monastery.

The boy had no problem adapting to the new life. He knew he was exactly where he was

supposed to be. The daily rituals and disciplines were all designed to hold the finest vibration of

light, energy, and spaciousness. Work was like play and his mind was a playground. As the

subtle realm became increasingly real, he learned to play with it. He also played with the life

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force and gave it shape and form, like a sculptor moulds clay. Everything he did - eating,

drinking, sleeping, living, and meditating - was designed to heighten his awareness; every step

was a challenge and a lesson in wisdom. Under the wings of the best teachers, he developed the

eye of Soul and explored the realm of the super conscious mind. He learned to transcend the

limitations of the ordinary mind and develop non-local awareness. The realms of light and

darkness were equally his playground and he knew them as two sides of the same coin.

Whenever the boy related his experiences, he made others part of his journey. They

enjoyed the travel and the unscripted spaces he took them to, without moving. Being young and

mischievous, he would sometimes take an alternative route to the one prescribed by the masters.

The lama let him explore the new territory as long as he understood he had to return.

Knowing it takes a strong psyche to work in the subtle and causal dimensions, the lama

had selected a boy who was healthy in all respects. He chose a boy who was spiritually aligned

with the purpose of this work, who could remember the past and use that remembrance to

continue the work in the present.

The Master taught the boy how to maintain a healthy psyche. “Be aware of the voices,”

he warned. “The personal space is filled with the sound vibration of individual energy matter,

clamouring for attention. To attain internal peace, you must acknowledge and master these

voices or energies. If you do not understand them, they can turn into demonic forces and corrode

your Soul. Our well-being is in direct proportion to balancing our interior and exterior worlds,

balancing the personal and non-personal dimensions, and moving from the fractional to the


The boy felt the weight of his responsibility. To be a member of this group of masters

was not just a privilege, but a huge undertaking. Such a commitment to the work took lifetimes

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to accomplish. There was no room for change or withdrawal once the commitment had been


As I experienced the young boy’s story, I felt compelled to meditate upon the fire that the

lama had lit for the boy. Moments later, I was drawn into the fire. I felt a burning, melting and

then a flowing. I was in a familiar space, ether like, beyond matter.

My eyes stared into the fire but I was not watching. I was no longer seeing; I had become

the seeing. I heard the master’s voice say, “Watching only helps you concentrate. What you see

is not important. Physical and subtle sight is no longer necessary once you make the connection

with the non-local mind. Seeing, or being conscious of this or that, is simply a distraction.

Trying to understand and make sense of the meaning keeps us from connecting with true


The master’s words, “don’t just see, see,” flashed across my mind. I stared into the fire

until my eyes dried out and I lost all sensation. My eyes burned from the internal heat and just

when I could no longer bear to keep them open, something dropped. My physical eyes ceased to

exist and so did I.

There was no way of knowing how long I disappeared; the mind that keeps track of time

was not present. Afterward, I realized the boy had used this simple exercise to enter the space

where the secrets of the cosmos were stored.

The vision of the young Tibetan boy brought me face-to-face with my inheritance and

with that, a burden and a responsibility settled upon me. I knew I was cut from the same cloth. I

too had made the promise and would not be able to withdraw until I had completed my promise.

All I could do was bow my head in surrender. No sooner had I surrendered when the vision

began to unfold again.

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Vision of Second Tibetan Life

“Only when you set others free, will you be free.”

My life is rigorous, yet enchanting. There is the cold Tibetan winter with its snow-

peaked mountains and chilly, whistling winds. Shivering cold streams flow down the

mountainside. There are dark caves and bright blinding sunlight. There is singing and chanting,

the laughter of young boys chasing white and yellow butterflies, and the scent of wild flowers.

All seems like a mid-summer dream.

“Sleep is not necessary, but rest is,” says the master. “Awakened Souls do not sleep.” I

know what he means.

The intrigue of the unknown and the responsibility of fulfilling my purpose are far more

meaningful than the every day rituals and harsh discipline. But this is the way and surrendering

to the way is half the battle. My love for the unknown, coupled with my desire to be the first to

know, is worth the required commitment.

“You are born to be free,” says the master. “And this freedom is for a cause- to free

others. And only when you have set others free, will you be free.”

“How will I know when I have set others free?” I hear myself asking, with deep concern.

“When you no longer seek freedom, you will be free,” he says. “When others around you

break the mud castles they have made, you will know you have set them free.” The master’s

words come from a deep place and I know they are true. I know they will stay with me for all


I find myself sitting on a rock with my feet touching the cold swift waters of a shallow

river. I stare at a tiny black pebble in the river bed. The bright sun reflects light in the water and

it is hard to always see the pebble. But my gaze is stronger than the force of the light and the

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moving water. At no time I do I lose sight of this tiny black rock. Even the strong Himalayan

winds cannot distract me or break my focus. The masters have taught me how to concentrate and

focus and for that, I will always be grateful.

As the vision faded, I felt a deep love for the masters and wished I was still there, even

thought there is in me. Without difficulty, I could see the parallels between that life and this one,

my inner knowing, guidance, intuitiveness, communication skills, inner travels, and

determination to choose a path of my own making, my perseverance in facing adversity; my

ability to rise after each crash; my trust in the masters and my Soul. All these signalled I was on

a purposeful path.

I was given the ability to discern between Soul, Spirit, and matter. And I found a new

meaning for religion. We are born Hindu, Sikh, Jew, Christian, Buddhist, or Muslim for a

reason, I realized. Each tradition offers a distinct pathway to realize our Soul potential. We have

a strong emotional bond with our religion which can offer inspiration and once we can respect

that, we can then transcend the limitations of that bond and reach greater spiritual heights. While

religion gives us a way of connecting to the Divine, spirituality gives us a way to live the divine

in our own way. Both have their place.

With the mirror now clean, I could see more clearly. I was one hundred percent

responsible for my life. In the past, I had danced to the music of my own Soul, every time. This

life was no different. Whether I danced the waltz, the flamenco, or the rumba was up to me.

My visions opened up another dimension in my psyche; for the first time I looked

forward to be proven wrong. I realized how much fun it was to be challenged, since challenge

brought forth more conscious and continuous growth. I found a better way of communicating. I

realized open communication is when two people spontaneously speak, listen, and respond from

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what is being said in the moment. The formula was simple: Listen as you speak and listen as

others speak. Respond to what you hear without bringing in personal agendas and ideologies. I

also realized that lecturing, teaching, preaching, and even emphasizing your own truth are often a

deliberate form of manipulation when not in touch with pure awareness.

One night as I closed my eyes to meditate, I had a vision of a tree laden with fruit. The

weight of the abundant fruit had bent the branches until they were almost touching the ground. I

could not help feeling like the tree. I too was blessed with abundance and all I wanted was to

share it with everyone. Then I saw hundreds of birds flying in a figure eight in the sky above.

My heart jumped out of my body as I invited them to play with me and share my fruit. “Come

near,” I whispered to them. “Be here where I am, and taste my juice and sweetness, for I cannot

die until I have shared it all. Take me, take all of me. I am ready.”

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Chapter Ten
Twenty-One Minutes to Freedom

“Dear God, let no day pass with me not knowing who I am.”

I silently thanked Ma ji for introducing me to the four light-pillar meditation and the Soul

guides. I felt more expansive knowing there was much more to me than I had previously

anticipated. My visions had become the doorway through which I connected with parts of

myself, and I was eager to see what else might unfold. I wanted to know every part of my being.

The fear of not getting to know myself fully was far greater than any other fear.

I realized I had embarked on a new journey. My Soul was holding my hand and guiding

me through the spiritual realms. I was being taken to an unknown destination. The timing was

impeccable and, like Alice in Wonderland, I was ready for the magic.

The recent visions had deeply affected me both internally and externally. Inside, I was

filling up quickly. I knew I could become confused and overwhelmed if I tried to interfere with

the process, or even fully understand it, so I decided to wait and simply observe it. I knew that

without relevant experience, the information I was receiving might not make sense. Any

meaning I might impose on it at this point could turn out to be just another ideology. This

realization kept me from guessing or even wanting to know more than was necessary. It was

enough for me to know I was impregnated with spiritual creativity.

It was now a few weeks into November and there was a feeling of pre-winter bustle in the

air; the streets had been cleaned and the city was looking its best. The bright sunlight and the

cool temperatures were heavenly. It felt as if the sun and earth were entwined in a romantic

embrace, nurturing the last glow of autumn. Looking up at the canopy of tall mature elm trees, I

could see no signs of stress or pressure from the changing weather. The leaves that fell seemed

to do so willingly and those that stayed seemed to be there willfully. Everything seemed to have

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a choice; I could sense the truth of free will everywhere. Everything felt resolved and at peace.

Vision of Mount Everest

“The higher I go, the better I can see.”

I was not anticipating any more visions, but a few days later another came that seemed to

confirm my inner state. This time, my vision took me to a place I had yearned to be for over half

my life.

I am a few feet away from reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Only a few more moves and I

will be there. But I am struggling. My foot keeps slipping and I could fall any second. At the

same time, I have no choice but to reach the top.

At the bottom of the mountain, I had help and support as I prepared for the climb but

once I began climbing I found myself alone. Now I am struggling and lack the energy to climb

the last few steps. Finally, with a last couple of pushes I reach the top. As I do, my fatigue and

fear instantly evaporate and I feel rejuvenated. I thank God the journey has ended. Finally, there

is nothing above.

As I look down, I see how far away the bottom of the mountain is. Suddenly, I realize,

the journey I chose was so treacherous it almost cost my life. The path I chose was opposite to

the way I had been raised. To reach the top, I had gone against my cultural, religious, and social

beliefs and traditions to seek peace for my aching Soul. The search was agonizing and full of

suffering. The lifestyle I chosen had cost me friendships, relationships and financial security. I

may have looked tough to others, but inside I suffered from the burden of guilt and shame for

pursuing my own path against the wishes of my relatives.

Not having a living guide and not knowing where I was headed had been unnerving.

Alone and lonely, with only my inner hunches to guide me, I was determined to find out who I

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was and connect with my authenticity. Even so, I had not lost a single opportunity to experience

something new. To achieve this, I had been willing to go to any depth, to climb any height.

Looking around, I realize that my vision of Mount Everest is a symbolic message from

within, telling me I have arrived at my destination. In my awareness, I rise above the mountain.

From this height, the Himalayan peak seems like a giant wearing a white cloak of light. The

brilliant sunshine makes it sparkle.

Just then I look up and see an eagle circling overhead. I stare at it, trying to pull its

attention toward me, but it takes no notice. I break into a smile. How could I be so foolish as to

believe I am at the top and there is nothing above? One part of me is tempted to continue the

ascent and fly with the eagle. But another part is content to remain exactly where I am. That

part is not willing to let go of the peace and grace of this moment.

For the first time in my life, I say no to the temptation of continually seeking. I say no to

the ascending current, no to moving forward. For the first time, I have the strength to choose. In

the past I was possessed by an obsession to keep moving, growing, and learning, deluded that I

was acting out of choice. But today my inner voice tells me I must rest in this place and enjoy

the completion of one goal before I move on to another. Perhaps I no longer have the energy to

keep searching or perhaps the search is no longer necessary.

I recall a conversation with my aunt a few years ago while I was visiting New Delhi.

“Ruby,” she asked, “Do you think it is necessary to have a living guide?”

I hummed and hawed and then began to philosophize. She stopped me short. “To

become free of your ego, it is necessary to have someone above you,” she said. “It keeps you

humble. Your guide may or may not always have all the answers but your very act of surrender

opens the heart and mind. It is our openness to receiving, not the content of what we receive,

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that connects us to spirit.”

I take a deep breath. Today, I am happy to have the eagle soar above me; it feels

protective. As the vision comes to a close, I find myself standing on top of Mt. Everest with out-

stretched arms. The sun showers its brilliance upon the mountain and I am covered in blinding

white light. Just then the eagle glides over me, shading me from the sun. I open my eyes, able to

stand in the light and see at the same time.

After the vision faded I felt refreshed and rejuvenated, as if a cool breeze had wafted over

me. Only later did I realize the vision was a message from Soul telling me I had completed the

task of returning home. There was nothing more I needed to learn. I had what I needed and was

exactly where I needed to be. I was protected and had the light of awareness within me.

My place of birth, my family, my friends, my work, and all my experiences had been

beautifully orchestrated to fit my Soul-code and support my growth. Everything was a fit. At a

deeper level, I knew I had chosen them of my own free will, even all the painful experiences. I

had always had the freedom to say yes or no. I had always been free, without knowing it.

I thought of how my journey to spiritual freedom had been harsh and had brought me to

my knees. I wondered what my journey would have been like if I had believed from the start

that I was already always free. Would I have suffered anyway? Did I suffer because of my lack

of awareness or was this my destined path?

As I looked down the mountain, I realized the journey up is difficult. However, once a

conscious connection to Soul is made, the journey back down can be easy, comfortable, and

enjoyable. I began to think of the journey up the mountain as connecting with the Soul and the

journey down as living from the Soul. This sparked off another vision.

I see a river with a strong current of water, roaring and gushing. The water pushes all the

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debris in its system onto the riverbank, thereby clearing the way for its own flow. The riverbank

is unable to clear the debris on its own. As I watch both the raging river and the cluttered bank, I

become conscious of my own nature. I am like the river; I like to take charge, keep moving, and

throw the obstacles to the side. In the process, I can deposit a lot of debris. The vision explained

many things and renewed my vigour to pursue my path.

Now, it was time to go down the mountain, to consciously connect with my Soul

Promise, and to live that promise. Although I had no details or memory of making the promise, I

felt confident and ready.

I decided to resume the Four Pillar meditation but with a focus on the Soul Promise.

Wanting to get right to the point, I devised a simple prayer asking to be connected with my

promise. The information I needed was not outside; it was within me.

I knew from experience I would receive images, visions, and dreams disclosing the secret of my

Soul Promise.

“I want to be conscious of my Soul Promise,” I said with the tongue of my mind. “I am

ready and willing to connect with my Soul partners and take full responsibility for my promise.

Let it come to me now.” Then I focused on my body and held the energy within that space.

Breathing lightly, I sat for twenty-one minutes, without interruption.

I continued to meditate each day. I received no images, dreams, or visions but the very

act of sitting in silence for twenty-one minutes each day strengthened my connection to my core

self. I felt more relaxed and sometimes I could not, or did not want to, break the silence within.

At such times I sat for as long as I had the urge.

Soon I began noticing some subtle differences. I began to enjoy socializing, meeting

friends and new people. I felt I was more open and accepting than before. I realized many of us

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are fulfilling the same Soul Promise in different ways, and sometimes it takes many different

people to fulfill one Soul Promise. With heightened awareness, one can actually see the

workings of the Soul Promise within friends, community, relatives and environment.

Return to India
Blessings from Ancestors

It was time to travel again. Inder and I were off to India for a winter holiday. My plan was

to meet each and every relative. For the first time I had a yearning to connect with all of them,

even though most did not respect my choice of lifestyle.

The night before our departure, Ma ji appeared to me in another vision. She asked me to

accompany her to a place with huge halls where I would meet with someone.

The doors open to a great hall and I see all my female relatives, maternal and paternal,

sitting together in a group as if posing for a photo shoot. I am surprised to see my mother, my

grandmothers, my two sisters, my aunts, and my cousins. I look at Ma ji and then at each one of

them. There are no words to express my emotion and my tears fall uncontrollably. This is the

first time I am reunited with them since they had passed away. They all welcome me with love

and tears of joy. No one speaks, except Ma ji.

“They have gathered to bless you and tell you they are proud of what you are doing,” she

says. “They did not have the courage to live the way you have lived. You broke the family

tradition and chose a different path and this has created a new opening for others to follow. They

are here to remind you that you carry not only the name of your forefathers but also the dream of

many masters before you.”

“They want you to know you have their support and your promise is their promise. You

are free of all ancestral debt. You will not be haunted by any family stress or burden. They

encourage you to move forward with strength and confidence, to fulfill your spiritual contract.”

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I knew exactly what these women were saying and why. Sometimes we carry not only

personal but also familial promises that need to be kept before we can meet our commitments to

larger groups. Completing our Soul Promise frees us and our entire blood and root line.

I can feel love and strength radiating from these beautiful women and I am proud to be

one of them. Even though I have adopted a different way to express my Soul Promise, I am still

part of their Soul history. I can feel their richness flowing in my veins and I am proud of my

heritage. And in that moment, I free myself of my guilt for abandoning the family traditions.

The heavy burden of wrong-doing and causing undue hurt to my loved ones lifts from me and I

can feel the shame leave my body. This time I congratulate myself for having the strength to

break free and the confidence to trust my inner voice.

Standing there, I begin to weep and they cry with me. The flowing tears cleanse us all

and replace the shame and guilt, mine and theirs, with a deep feeling of love.

I don’t know how long I was with them but I do remember walking over and standing

with the group. Then a light flashed as the universe photographed and captured us all in one

frame. It was a profound moment; the women of my family had come together to celebrate the

Soul Promise.

I awoke suddenly with light blinding my eyes. The skeptic in me wondered if my vision

was real but deep down I knew it was. I could still felt the warm, embracing presence of the

women of my family. I felt as though I had been born again, but unlike my physical birth, there

was no pain or regret. Free at last, I thought.

The next day we left for India and I fully expected to enjoy a glorious time. Instead, I

found a very different experience. Shopping, catching up with Indian movies and fashion, and

meeting with relatives somehow felt superficial. Instead of joy, there was an inner numbness

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and sadness with me at all times. I was unable to sit quietly for my meditations and when I did I

was haunted by old memories.

To my dismay, I realized nothing ever disappears; it simply goes underground and then

reappears when we least expect it. Little do we realize that the subconscious is like a large

multi-unit storage facility which has the space to hold the memory of every event, feeling, and

experience. Nothing gets missed. In a split second, the gates can open and out flow the

unresolved and ugly feelings. Like uninvited friends, they bombard our senses and hijack the


It made no sense. Here I was on a most desired holiday and without notice, all my old

traumas were back. Who or what had let in these unwanted guests? Amidst the internal turmoil,

it was hard to become peaceful and practice the twenty-one-minute meditation. I felt unhealthy

and unable to connect with the light-pillar guides or the field of information. There were no

visions, dreams or even desires. The inner lights were switched off and I could not find the on-

switch. I felt spiritually disconnected. Nothing seemed to move.

My situation felt hopeless. Occasionally, I tried to cry or laugh just to bring on a feeling

but nothing worked. Then, despite my fears that things could go very wrong if I did not take

control, I decided to surrender and let the chips fall as they would. I stopped trying to fix things

or save myself. And I refused to play the hand I had been dealt. Resentfully I stepped back, just

to see how bad it could get.

Three weeks went by and I remained in my cocoon. I felt as though I had regressed back

into a fetus. A close friend told me I was depressed and tried to get me to express my feelings. I

humoured her but without any passion. Then, from half-way around the world, my cousin Roma

called with the news that her husband Raj had died suddenly. And everything changed.

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Chapter Eleven
The Soul’s Promise, Raj’s Death
“We need freedom for life, not from life. The purpose on the physical plane is not to seek
freedom; rather it is to connect with
our authentic self and physically manifest our Soul dream. The earth plane partners with us,
giving us ample space, opportunity and resources to manifest that dream."

Raj was dead? How could this be? I was shocked.

It was an early morning of March 2006 in New Delhi when my cousin Roma called with

the news. Raj was her husband. We had met at their daughter’s wedding in Los Angeles only a

few months ago. At the time, Raj seemed healthy and happy, exuding strength and confidence.

In fact, this was the best I had ever seen him.

The entire household reflected a similar energy. There were signs of abundance

everywhere, especially noticeable in Raj’s garden. The fruit trees were laden with oranges,

grapefruit, guavas, and lemons, ripe with juice and colour. Each shrub presented itself like a

bouquet of flowers, arranged by a master artist. The pink and red roses seemed especially large

this year. Raj could barely conceal his pride and joy, smiling shyly like a young boy. “Oh yes,

God is telling me I have been blessed,” he said more than once.

One night, as he sat in the family room in his favourite spot overlooking the sea of lights

in the valley below and sipping his favourite scotch, he seemed more reflective than usual. I

could see him swaying in and out of his inner space and gazing into the dark night. Speaking

softly, he said, “I am tired and want complete rest. I am going to soon retire and take a holiday.

I want to go to a remote place where there is no phone and where I cannot be reached. I want to

be at peace.”

“Will you be taking Roma with you?” I asked. Raj merely smiled.

I could still see the smile. Raj, you must have found your peace, I said to him in my

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Then my thoughts flew to Roma. I quickly entered her world, scanning present and

upcoming events, and felt relieved that all was well, now and in the future. Roma’s unusual

calmness and composure did not speak of denial. Rather, she was rising to the occasion and

caring for others as they expressed their grief and shock. I knew she would grieve the loss of her

husband in her own time and way.

I called Roma. Just as I had envisioned, she was calm, describing Raj’s passing with the

equanimity of an observer. As I consoled her, I felt I was doing so more for my sake than hers.

After the call, it took me a few moments to settle down. I noticed I was quickly

absorbing the sadness and shock. And then, I suddenly felt lightened, as though someone had

wiped the emotions off my forehead and cleared the mental space.

I closed my eyes to tune in to Raj. As I did so, a large cloud of light came straight at me.

My eyelids tightened upon impact, and as the cloud penetrated my being, I could feel a cool

wave of light within my body space. When I opened my eyes, these words came to mind: Pass

over, resurrection, rising, return; I was reminded of Christ. Then I saw Raj smiling. I

immediately realized that Raj was fine, that he was in a transitional space, and that it was best to

leave him alone.

The light cloud left me feeling exhilarated. The spiritual creativity filling my being was a

sign of new beginnings; I was about to deliver something new. At the same time, I felt a little

guilty about feeling freedom instead of loss. Then I was hit with the realization that after we die

there is nothing to lose; we only worry about loss when we are alive. I remembered Roma being

worried about Raj’s health and heart condition, and now that he was gone she was free of that

worry. Why can’t life set us free, I wondered? Why must death be the only ticket to freedom

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from worry?

The three weeks after Raj’s death contrasted sharply with the previous three weeks when

I had felt hopeless and disconnected. Instead of cocooning, I now travelled, met with friends,

and enjoyed the Indian hospitality. Raj and the white light cloud had pushed out the darkness

and I was left in the light.

Flying back to Canada from India can be a twenty hour ordeal but I was prepared for the

journey. Upon take-off I tried to release the tension. No sooner did I close my eyes I bumped

into Raj. I was surprised as I had not seen him since the day of his death.

“Freedom,” I exhaled with a deep breath. Raj disappeared and I sank further into my

seat. Four hours later I woke up feeling relaxed, and noticed there was incoming mail in my

computer brain. The subject was freedom. My life-long desire for freedom must have triggered

some kind of response from the Cosmos. Surprisingly, the actual message contained no words. I

could only process it silently and respond with, “Oh yes! I get it now; I know; I can see.”

My first realization was that we need freedom for life, not from life. At the level of Soul

intelligence, we are the actor, the director, the scriptwriter and designer of our own play. We

stage the play upon the space of consciousness and we are fully aware of the dream. At the

deepest level, we are the clearing in which the dream arises and the play is performed.

On the physical plane, the purpose is not to seek freedom; rather, it is to connect with our

authentic self and physically manifest our Soul dream. The earth plane partners with us, giving

us ample space, opportunity and resources to manifest that dream. It is our loss of connection to

that dream which throws us off and taints our perception. Our limited perception interprets our

playground as a struggle ground, our Soul partners as strangers, and our spiritual play as

hardship. We perceive the twists and turns in the road as barriers and the stop signs as dead-

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ends. We see the many roads as points of confusion. The entire landscape becomes distorted

when we look at it from a smaller, more limited perspective. But the songs and dances of the

spiritual player fill this space with creative manifestations. And all of this only becomes visible

from a bigger perspective.

Because the play is a Soul design, only the designer is aware of the play. And unless we

connect with the Soul designer, we can never understand the joy and purpose that manifestation

entails. The less developed our awareness, the more we need the help of signposts and

landmarks and the assistance of others. Our clashes with others are signs that we are lacking

internal awareness.

For an ego-based person, the dream is misunderstood as personal ambition. In reality, the

dream is a Soul’s spiritual contribution to the earth space. In the act of manifestation, we leave

behind part of our Soul and this is the highest act of surrender. We create children, not because

they need to benefit from us, nor we from them, but for the play of consciousness upon the earth


This new understanding of freedom shook me to the core. Freedom had always been

my deepest desire and I had given up friends, relationships, my birth name, my heritage, my

inheritance, and all that I believed had stood in my way. And now, just when I finally felt free, a

different understanding of freedom had appeared, without warning. This new understanding felt

effortless and I was ready to absorb it.

Invitation from Raj to join Gathering of Twenty Two Special Souls

“The Source, too, must also be involved in our game as it cycles between breathing in our
experience and exhaling itself into individualization for the sake of experience.”

We arrived home in Canada and that night we decided to meditate together. We invited

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our guides and close friends in spirit to join us, including Ma ji. Afterwards I decided to take a

stroll in the subtle realm to see what else might be going on.

And there was Raj. He was holding a satchel of envelopes containing invitations for a

special gathering that was being held in thirteen days. Several special guests were being invited,

he said.

“What is the gathering about?” I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

“It’s the gathering of free thinkers and genius minds, a Soul group, working on something

special,” he replied. “Souls with different forms of intelligence have decided to come together to

combine forces and create a unique form of intelligence. Their intention is to create a unique

blend of spiritual sense.”

“Why and how?” I wanted to know.

“To keep in pace with the changing times, the future demands a new perspective, greater

intelligence and a super conscious mind and body,” he guessed. “And space is created through


“Tell me more,” I insisted.

“The guests are poets, mystics, scientists, philosophers, artists, politicians, and more.

These are the Celebrates; ones who can successfully completed their missions, purpose and lived

up to their promise and fullest potential. They will jointly share their essence and revitalize and

strengthen the core to usher in changes.”

“So this could change the entire landscape,” I said.

“Possibly.” It was obvious that Raj did not want to say more but I was not ready to end

the conversation.

“Okay, then give me some names; tell me who’s coming.”

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He smiled and whispered, “Why don’t you see it in your vision?”

“Raj, I need to be there, Please come back with more.” I insisted.

“Spring is in the air,” he said just before disappearing.

I tried to imagine what the group intelligence would be like. I could smell the scent of

spring but it had to be more than spring. When such enlightened and spiritual minds come

together a new season is created. I knew this would be big.

Although Raj had promised to be back, I couldn’t wait; I was not going to miss this

opportunity. I decided to be watchful and keep my eyes open for any other leads. If Raj’s

information was correct, this could be a once-in-a-lifetime opening to materialize my dream.

That night I tried to connect with the group, and saw the faces and names of brilliant

minds. Some I recognized; many I did not. The group included Socrates, Albert Einstein, Sir

Isaac Newton, Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Gandhi, Rumi, Mother Teresa, and many more. I

was surprised to see Princess Diana sitting with Mother Teresa with a baby in her lap. I felt a

sharp nudge in my Soul- this was it. This gathering would push through the old to give birth to

the new.

I decided to be a silent observer, at this event and I was determined to absorb the new

intelligence to my fullest.

The next day Raj showed up, but it was to deliver personal messages to his family. He

was sensitive about my time and energy and very cautious as to how he expressed himself to his

relatives. He was probably the most courteous Soul I have ever met. He regretted that while he

was living, he had not expressed things in a way his loved ones could receive. He told me to

pass on the messages exactly as he relayed them. I assured him I was a qualified delivery

person; he could trust me to be accurate.

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After relaying the messages, Raj told me about his death. He told me he did not know

until the last few breaths that he was dying. He was in shock. The last time he suffered a heart

attack he had prayed and asked God to give him more time to live. He wanted to work on

himself and become a better human being. He wanted to feel worthy of God’s grace and reach

spiritual realization while still in physical form. That makes sense, I thought. What good is

spirituality without physical form?

Raj continued, “God granted my wish and I got better. After that, I prayed daily,

thanking God and asking for guidance. I did my best to share my blessings with each and every

person I met. I followed a daily practice and tried to be better than the previous day. I tried to be

helpful to everyone,” he said. Raj seemed profoundly content. He had cleared his issues before

he had passed on and was ready for a fresh start.

Raj said his death had been fast and easy, that the transit time was mercifully minimal. “I

was horizontal and then vertical again,” he said. He told me he’d stood up straight without any

scars, trauma, fear, or loss of memory, and ready for a new assignment. He was not surprised

about his new work because he had put in a request to work with ascended masters and teachers.

His purpose was to learn and share knowledge simultaneously. And now he was doing just that.

Before he left, Raj said that God had given him a sign; he should have guessed the end

was near. He was at peace inside and his garden was finally full of flowering scents and fruit-

laden trees. He had not seen God, but felt the Presence and that was enough for him. Then his

eyes filled with tears, he smiled shyly, and with his head down left as quietly as he had come.

On the appointed day of the special Soul group gathering, I stationed my inner being in

silence along with the other participants. The process of the silent migration of intelligence was

familiar to me. The body and mind had to be on empty for the download with no external

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stimuli. The inner mind through silence is tuned in to the space, it’s like plugging into the galatic

brain that once plugged in transmits the frequencies of light and sound of the new intelligence.

Interestingly, the download is natural and effortless; it is full and complete transference

and not just fragmented thoughts or a few channelled messages. By being one with that

dimension the messages arise as insights and life force . This is what I used when I wanted to be

with another mind. It eliminates the need to retain information at a mental level and there is no

loss due to interpretation as would be the case in any other transmittance.

I maintained the silence and tried not to use my sense at all. I knew that everything that

was being transferred would soon become integrated in me in a way best suited for me.

“Freedom without responsibility is as absurd as placing a stop sign on a ten lane highway.”

The new input turned my focus to freedom and responsibility. I realized that only a mind

burdened with stress and conditioning seeks freedom because it does not recognize it’s true

identity, Source and power. Further, the onset of temporary amnesia resulting from

misidentification can drop it from the original state of awareness to states of confusion and slight

delusion. One simply forgets their true self and starts to think and act contrary to the inner

values. The forgotten identity results in fear and distress, having lost the memory of the self and

all it’s potential to create. Creating from spiritual the physical manifestation, is a super conscious

act that only a super conscious mind is capable of creating. It is an act of absolute force and free

will. The earth planet is the physical plane where a Soul can physically replicate it’s spiritual

reality. This is why one chooses the most appropriate culture and environment to experience

one’s self in a one-of-a-kind way. From the beginning to the end, the journey in between is self

guided and every experience is chosen to reflect aspects of our true state.

Our intention, purpose, resources and the know-how is imbedded in our DNA, in every

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cell of our being. The entire body contains the memory of who we are and what we want to

create. Losing this conscious state of awareness simply means forgetting that we are free.

Freedom has no other purpose than to fulfill the promise for our physical manifestation.

On the physical plane freedom transcends into responsibility; this is where choices

manifest through inspired activity. Since truth is perceived differently at different stages, a mind

caged by personal inhibitions and limitations desires freedom first, this is to break free from the

inner state of captivity. Having lost the ability to comprehend the truth, it drops in energy,

intelligence and awareness and perceives responsibility to be a burden and an imposition.

Whereas responsibility is a way to govern, organize and utilize the inner resources, it is an asset

to an awakened mind.

Having experienced both stages I knew what this meant. Not being aware and fully

conscious could lead to human extinction. The biggest threat to humans is their own kind. In

absolution of human values any violence is possible, and we have plenty evidence of that. I had

an idea that the Soul group was working to create a new way to bypass the mental-intellectual

field of perception and replace it with awakened instinctual force from within the physical

organism itself. This new sensory field is not dependant on old system of using the brain to learn

and comprehend and then utilize the information. It is timeless and space less. However

specificity of things plays a significant role to express and experience full potential

“Specificity is the clue to my authenticity.”

Why do we have specific desires when there is so much to choose from? Why do we

need things to be a specific way? Why do we pursue one person or one thing when there are so

many and so much available? These questions would often grab my attention. I was intrigued by

a Soul’s specificity. It’s unique manifestation, specific life design and dream, purpose and a plan

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with specific time. I had noticed how the specifics worked with the grand orchestration and

conspiracy and synchronicity. The role of planetary influences upon my specifics had not gone

unnoticed. I realized that the planet earth has it’s own part to play; in fact the land that we think

belongs to us as individuals is really the part and parcel of the earth property. We can use it but

not remove it. Everything we create will remain here. It rises from the earth and will there till it

falls back into the earth. I thought of it as a playground for spirit. Each Soul adds their own color

and flavor creating new realities that together keep this planet pulsating with forever new

inspired formations. To know God, one must consciously experience the planet earth along with

each and every inhabitant and to do so means to embody your specifics and live your

authenticity, this is what true identity is. From here we leap into the mind of God to serve our

bigger purpose.

Only when we have broken through the illusion can we see the illusion did not exist.

I felt as though I was breaking through many illusions, including my understanding of

the quest. I realized that each seeker, no matter what they seek will keep seeking till they have

exhausted their full potential. Seeking is sign that there is still untapped potential left to be

utilized. Though the ways of seeking may differ, the goal ultimately is the same, to find your true

identity, to create with your unique authenticity, and to contribute to something bigger than

yourself. All other desires simply are to fulfill the first three.

My personal fight for freedom only stopped when I came into the full realization of my

Soul Promise. The realization did not come instantly but in parts. I had always known about the

Soul and about the spiritual relationship we have each other, nature, the universe, and God. I

also knew there was a reason for my being here and now, and I thought being humble, loving,

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and kind was enough to live a spiritual life. However, it was not until my spiritual awakening in

1992 that I got an inkling of a deeper purpose in life. Not until I started to get a glimpse of some

of my past lives did I realize that past now is the present. We live the sum total of who we are

and being conscious optimizes the mind body instrument to serve our specific purpose the best.

For this reason, we can approach our Soul script from any end, whether through the past or the

present, and still arrive at the same place.

The juncture between life and death is also a good place to read the Soul script, as this is

where a Soul regroups and plans for the future. In this in-between state, we are conscious of

both the worlds, the one we have left behind, and the one we are about to enter. This astral plane

contains the recordings of our mastermind and offers clues about who we are. It is also a

meeting place between two worlds, a common ground where those in spirit and those in body

may meet. It sometimes functions like a classroom. This is where I first met my teachers,

guides, and masters in 1992. This is where I became conscious of my knowledge and developed

my inner knowing and spiritual sense. I learned how to access deeper spiritual levels and

retrieve the information I needed for health and healing. Here, I developed the ability to

recognize and identify the Soul and the Soul’s history.

The thin light veil separating one world from another dropped and I recognized the

purpose of the Soul Promise. I realized we are each here to do something specific, in a specific

way. Together we fulfill our promises. Our Soul Promise is an artistic expression of spirit and

Soul, God and man.

Retrieving the Soul Promise

“My freedom means nothing if I cannot free others.”

I had worked with the Soul before and now I wanted to go deeper. After connecting with

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Raj and the group of Souls, I wanted to learn about the origin of the Soul, the first promise. I

wanted to find out about the first incarnation, the first manifestation, the first pulse of separation.

I wanted to know the first step we took into the world of physical form, the first appearance of

the individual, the first persona, the first cell created from intelligence. I wanted to see beyond

the veil and before the first.

It did not take very long for my intention to manifest. My first client took me right to the

source and I received visual information almost immediately. The Soul Promise was exactly

where I thought it would be, in the face of the first manifestation. One glimpse and I could read

the entire script. The Soul Promise flashed back at me. I read the promise and the Soul

commitment out loud to my client and he totally resonated with the message. We did not stop

there. Within minutes, we had enough information to put together a plan for physically

manifesting the promise. It was brilliant, simple, and effortless.

And with that, another chapter of my work opened and I began receiving clients who

wanted to retrieve their Soul Promise. They felt they should be doing something, but did not

know what. These sessions were very different from my previous work. There were no guides

or personal messages. I worked in a field of information that contained the history of the Soul.

The information was less personal and more precise. I worked in three steps.

1. I identified the Soul.

2. I identified the Soul Promise.

3. I incorporated the Soul Promise into an action plan to help the client live their

“inlightenment” on a daily basis. This is what I call living with all lights on,

positioning yourself in the God center and accessing the divine intelligence to

live the full dream.

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This time I worked with clients, I could witness that the Soul life begins with intention

and ends with the fulfillment of the intention, it is the earth plane where the action happens. The

earth plane is truly a spiritual playground where we require, acquire, and retire, all within a short

period of time. Whatever we hold, possess, or own must be given away, we can enjoy the

pleasure of giving or not, either way it is simply taken away.

Every Soul’s desire is to materialize the dreams and live a signature life. Fulfilling the

Soul Promise exhausts our old debts, past promises. It cleans the slate and gives us a fresh and


Learning from Raj, I wanted to utilize my Soul potential while still in a physical body so

I became determined to fully unveil my Soul Promise. I suspected there were many like me,

searching for their forgotten promises and if I could find mine, I would help with theirs. Then I

had a vision.

One Cell of Intelligence Vision

I see my first cell being created from pure intelligence. The cells start to multiply but I

notice that the subsequent cells are more informational and not as potent as the first one. Only

the original cell has the code to the spiritual treasury; it contains the memory of pure intelligence

and is the direct link to the Source.

I am determined to find that original cell within myself. I place my intention and

attention upon the physical and subtle planes, to locate the original cell. After a long time, I

realize that the original cell lies within my body. I sit for hours moving my attention from one

part of my body to another. I find the process to be very comfortable and addictive but I do not

find what I am looking for. Then I realize what I am looking for is in the sub-particles of my

being. At once, I direct my attention to the cell structure and the cells rise in energy as if to

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answer my call. I watch how the informational cells separate, making way for the original cell to

rise. I place my attention on the original cell and cause it to break open. I watch in awe as pure

intelligence pours out from the original cell and flows to every other cell, igniting a light force.

Every cell is touched by originality. My entire body is converted from information to pure

intelligence. It feels like a spiritual and inspirational awakening!

When the vision ended, I recognized myself to be an eccentric spiritual scientist who will

not rest until a way is found to awaken pure intelligence in every cell with the flick of a switch. I

realized that one part of my own Soul Promise is to be conscious of my Source and another part

of my Soul Promise is to express my potential with full force. This is possible with a full-blown

connection to Soul. In the process of fulfilling and living with purpose, I must offer the same

choices and opportunities to others on similar journeys. If I can also support my Soul friends at

any level, then I will have done more than I promised.

My freedom means nothing if I cannot free others.

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Chapter Twelve
June 2006, Monica Returns
It was now about ten years since my client Monica had died from cancer, leaving her

dream of building a healing centre unfulfilled. Over the years, she had appeared to me several

times in her light body, always while I was in session with a client. She would enter gracefully

and silently observe the interaction between my client and me. Occasionally, she would whisper,

“Don’t mind me. I’m just here to learn.” She would then position herself to my left in a sort of

meditative mode, carefully staying outside my client’s energy field. I would simply

acknowledge her presence and make sure she was receiving exactly what I was sending out.

I realized what she saw and felt depended upon how strong and pure my connection with

Spirit was. In this mode, I would transport her energetically into the realm of guides, sages, and

masters where the vibrations were beyond human conditioning and the life force and intelligence

were in abundance. In this zone, we would anchor ourselves and leap into the unknown to create

manifestations. Little would my client know, there were more than just the two of us present for

these sessions. Occasionally, there were times when I would actually repeat a thought or even

rephrase it purely for Monica’s benefit.

As the years passed, her visits became fewer and farther apart until they finally stopped

altogether. Until this night.

It was two-thirty in the morning and I sat in deep silence, with my feet on the chaise

lounge, balancing my laptop on my thighs. I loved late night writing; my inspiration would peak

as the darkness grew. Moments would melt into nothingness; then a tickling, a nudging, and

then out of a silent rising, like water from a fountain, the blank space would become showered

with letters, words, phrases, and then sentences. Soon the pages would be filled with this

creative sprinkling from my heart and Soul.

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This night was different. At one o’clock, I awakened suddenly and immediately felt the

flow of Spirit. Not wanting to disturb Inder, I rose silently and slipped out of the bedroom.

Perching myself on the chaise lounge, I was in the flow, deeply connected and ready to write.

A sudden stop. I felt someone… or something. Peering out the window, I searched the

darkness for any movement. The eight thirty-foot tall elm trees in the front garden were

motionless. Across the street, a hundred feet away stood the street lamp, casting its dim circle of

illumination; no movement there either. I shifted my gaze back inward and it was then that I

noticed a hint of light. There was Monica perched comfortably on sofa chair in my living room.

“My God! Monica, is it really you?” I blurted out. I was startled.

“Greetings, Ruby, I am back,” she began, her facing shining with light.

“Well, I haven’t seen you since so long,” I welcomed her with a smile. “Where have you

been?” I asked warmly.

A mysterious smile lit her face. “Ruby, I am back,” she said. “I a body. I am

born again.”

I was startled, but she read my mind and proceeded to address every question before I

could ask it. “Remember the couple you recently worked with in Calgary? Don and Julia?

Well, they are my parents; I mean, I am their daughter,” she explained. “Their meeting you was

not by chance. It was all part of a bigger plan.”

My mind was racing but Monica was way ahead of me.

“I know it’s hard to grasp. Your work with past lives and reincarnated Souls has given

you direct experience of reincarnation, but this is a bit different. You got to know me in the

physical, then watched me pass over. Through my visits, you even watched me live in the subtle

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realm. Now, you will see me again in the physical; life, death, and now life again. You will see

the continuity in transformation.” Without waiting for my response, she continued.

“Soon you will receive the answers to every question you’ve ever had. Your life’s work

has culminated into a beautiful truth and you have the rare opportunity to witness eternity. My

dear friend, you are in for a big surprise… but first, you must call Don and Julia.”

“You’ve got to be crazy,” I gasped! I hardly know these people and I would not know

what to tell them! I didn’t even know if they believed in all this. How the hell was I supposed to

tell them I know their daughter from a previous life?”

“Look Monica,” I continued, “much as I love this work, I’m not going to stick my neck

out here. I don’t want to become stressed by the burden of proof. Please understand.” I finished


“Oh, but you already are,” Monica insisted in her quiet way.

I took a moment to breathe and consider, and found I was ready to make a deal.

“Okay,” I relented, “if this is all true and you truly are their daughter, then let the parents

call me two months from today and request that I work with their daughter. If this happens, then

I will believe everything you are telling me. And then I will do everything you are asking me to


Monica reluctantly accepted the deal. I returned to my writing, and several hours later I

shot off an email to Don.

“Dear Don,” I wrote, “Do you have a daughter, and if so, how old is she?”

Don’s reply was prompt. “Yes, I have one daughter. Melissa is seven years old. Why do you


“Never mind, it’s not important for now,” I replied, and quickly hit “send.”

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I put the situation on hold because I did not know how to deal with it. Even though

Monica had only given me information and I did not actually need to do anything with it, I felt

the responsibility to handle it with care and attention. Monica was a responsible Soul with a lot

of integrity, and I had no reason to doubt her word. Although I wanted to be part of her truth and

honour her, I felt sure that now was simply not the time. I put the thought away, not wanting to

wait for the call from Don and Julia.

Ten years after her passing, I was once again thinking of Monica. During her life she had

created the financial resources and social structure to fulfill her Soul Promise. But by the time

she had remembered and heard the voice of her soul, she was on her deathbed. Once conscious

of her promise, she had found peace. Although she desperately wanted a miracle to give her time

to manifest her dream, envisioning it was her way of making it happen.

There was good reason for me being with Monica in her last moments. I began asking

questions, the answers to which would enhance my personal journey. Why can’t we remember

the promise or commitment we made as Soul to ourselves and others? Why do we forget who

we are and our reason for being here? Why did Monica not recall her promise until a few hours

before she died?

I had spent many years seeking fulfillment. Even my quest for freedom was born of the

need to feel fulfilled. I had looked for answers in every corner I could find. The problem was

nothing seemed to stick for very long. I would go to a particular seminar, gain a bit of insight,

and be influenced in one way. Then, at the next workshop I would be exposed to a different

method and lean a different way. Often, the new concepts and methods clashed with the old

ones. Eventually, I became so confused and overwhelmed; I wanted to give up everything.

I also found myself being caught in waves of traditional religion, metaphysical science,

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and new age philosophy. I paid attention to every practice and tried to find to the meaning

behind the words and language. Everything was usually fine at the beginning but as I got deeper

into the philosophy, I would become intense, heavy, and burdened and would stop relating to it.

Eventually, I realized that reading about philosophies and doctrines was not my way. I had no

appetite for someone else’s opinions or realizations. I would have to create my own way.

After I was introduced to the power of intention as a tool to manifest desire, I quickly

learned the technique and went crazy. There was nothing I could not manifest, or so I believed.

I did this for quite a while until I met the swami in India. I remembered again his words, “Can

you manifest peace and fulfillment?” he had asked. “Can you materialize consciousness? Can

you manifest yourself? The fact that you are still seeking tells me you have not yet found

peace.” He didn’t stop there.

“You are like a kid in a candy store trying to buy everything you see. What are you

going to do with everything you collect? Collecting information and even knowledge is useless

unless it is properly utilized.”

He was right. I had no need to collect more techniques or more ways to become who I

wanted to be. His words just confirmed my inner feeling; I had to stop, but how? Once I had the

ball rolling, not even I could stop the momentum. One part of me felt like a house on fire and

the other part had just become aware of the raging fire and the destruction being caused by the

burn. And between them both was another Ruby, who simply witnessed everything.

“Knowledge empowers me, and awareness makes it grow.”

I had become accustomed to the struggle; in fact, I did not know how to be any other

way. I did not even know what I truly needed to manifest. Everything I supposedly needed was

becoming superfluous. I had begun using the power of my intention to manifest the silliest little

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things that had absolutely no relevance to my current situation, or to my purpose. It had become

a big joke. I would place intent to get a nearby parking stall and was thrilled each time I got it.

But, believe me, it would have been much better for my health if I had walked the extra block. I

had many friends who were also using this tool but few of them looked content. Even fewer had

found abundance, peace, or fulfillment by using the technique.

Beyond the superfluous things, I also had the deep desire to know myself. I had yet to

meet a master who could tell me about myself as Soul or my history. No one seemed to know

me; those who attempted would see only the superficial; they would see my persona and not me.

And like them, I too was fixated on the persona. I wanted to change many things including

getting a new body but could not. Only later did I realize my nature and temperament were

perfectly suited to my Soul purpose.

In India, being polite and respectful meant not to question. We, especially the women,

had to be tolerant and subservient. Maturity was equated with your level of sacrifice which

meant putting all others ahead of yourself. Sacrificing oneself and martyrdom created social

value. Anyone who gave up their dreams for the joy and happiness of others was considered

good-natured. There was no room to be different.

But I was different. I wanted to know God and I wanted to know myself. I wanted to

know why I had taken birth, what I needed to do, and what surrender really meant. I wondered if

the will of the majority was the will of God. If that were true, then I might as well be dead.

My religious upbringing had delivered mixed messages. I was taught to pray and ask for

anything and everything I wanted. At the same time, I was taught that asking for too much was

greedy and selfish. Many of my desires were externally driven and as I tried to keep up with

social trends, my priorities became confused. My life became full of things and people in which

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I had little interest. I often forgot what I had asked for. Before one thing had manifested, I

would find myself asking for another.

Many of my clients were so obsessed with manifesting a particular relationship or job,

they could open their minds to nothing else. I’m sure many of us manifested our intent but I’m

not sure how many of us found lasting value in what we got.

However, while I was so busy asking and intending what I desired, I paid no attention to

the underlying spiritual principles. Many teachers and healers were offering different methods

for working with intention and it took me a while to figure out that something was missing in the

process. Eventually, I became aware that I was choosing from my ego rather than from my

spiritual intelligence, without the bigger picture, I was likely wasting my time and energy.

I also began to realize I needed to chart my own path. I recalled Sri Aurobindo’s words,

“Do not step into my shoes because they will not fit you. Do not follow my footprints for they

lead to my destination, not yours. Just meet me in spirit and you will be inspired.” Now, years

after meeting Sri Aurobindo in spirit, I felt his presence; even though our paths were different,

we both had what it took which was the inspiration to follow our dream. A few nights later the

words “beyond personal intention” came to me. When the air crackled with electricity, I knew I

was on to something.

Beyond Personal Intention

The Story of Priya Rajvansh and the Fakir

“Each moment offers me a new opportunity to know myself.”

Somewhere afar, yet within, I could hear the ringing of temple bells. I recognized this

sound; it was time for another lesson and awakening. Sitting up in bed, I stopped all thinking,

lowering my eyelids to reduce external stimuli so I would miss nothing. For a few seconds there

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was dead silence and then the vision opened up. I began to re-experience an event that had

occurred in Chandigarh, Inder’s (Sunny’s) hometown in India.

It was late at night and Sunny as usual insisted I tell him a Soul story, of course, his own.

Within my group of friends and family I was known for this; someone was always searching

deeper into themselves. I would dig deep into their Soul records to pick up the priceless gifts,

and then surprise or even shock them beyond their imagination. These gifts gave people insight

into themselves, helped them to become more aware, and somehow the “on the spot delivery”

resulted in spontaneous breakthroughs. Being part of their joy provided enough gratification for

me to do it again and again.

All these years later, this particular vision came with a slightly different perspective. “Dig

deep, and tell me something really magical,” Sunny had cajoled. He loved to receive messages

and I loved to receive massages in return.

“Okay,” I said, wasting no time, and like a big fish I dove to the bottom of the deep, dark

ocean to retrieve the lost and forgotten memories of this Soul.

“Sunny! I think I just hit on something!” I was jolted into a sitting position. “You won’t

believe this. Sunny, I am with a group of Fakirs15 who claim you belong to their Soul family.

This group of Souls has been in existence since at least the fourth or fifth century. They are

worldly detached but divinely attached. Some of the Fakirs were kings, mystics, poets, and artists

who gave up worldly possessions and lived in the detached state. Living and being One with

everything was their way; their Oneness was contagious, as were their stories. Without teaching

fakir or faqir is a Sufi, especially one who performs feats of endurance or apparent magic. In English, the term is
often used to refer to Hindu ascetics (e.g., sadhus, gurus, swamis, and yogis) as well as Sufi mystics. From

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or preaching, they awakened the feeling of love and compassion in others and this subtle

influence was part of their purpose.”

I stopped speaking when an elder Fakir entered the vision and began giving me other

information. What I was being told was so exciting I wanted to jump out of my skin! I was

dying to share this information with Sunny but first I needed to verify something.

“Sunny, before your birth, did your grandmother go on a holy pilgrimage and have

special prayers conducted so her only child, your mother, would be blessed with a son? And this

male child would be a pure Soul, born with the intention to carry forward her dream and the

dream of many others? And this dream was no ordinary dream; for a one-woman show, she

wanted to attract a powerful source, as she was to influence many lives.”

“Yes!” he replied, startled. “My grandmother is a very ambitious woman. Yes, I am told

she conducted several rituals and prayers before my mother conceived. Her intention was to

attract a pure Soul who could be a strong positive influence. I think my grandmother had zero

tolerance for weakness, she wanted me under her wings and had high expectations of me. But

where are you heading with this? What else is the Fakir saying?”

“Okay, this confirms your Soul origin. By the way, he says you are a pure Soul because

you have no karmic conditioning. Being a Fakir, you have lived Oneness, and that means One

with everything, of course, including God within. He also tells me you are an answer to your

grandmother’s prayers and in this incarnation you will do exactly what has been intended for

centuries by the Fakirs, with a difference.”

“What?” demanded Inder. “Are you saying I have no free will? That I’m a puppet of

someone else’s mind?”

“No, no!” I assured him quickly. “You are just unaware of who you are and although this

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information matches your thinking, desires, and lifestyle, you are not yet able to see your reality

clearly. That’s only because until now, you have been focussed externally, rather than inwardly.

Religion, you see, connects us to the inner dimensions, but when we use religion to magnify just

the outer life without the inner focus, we lose our real identity and perspective. You too Sunny,

have lost the remembrance, so even though you have the mind-set of a Fakir, which is pretty

evident from your lifestyle and your life, you don’t have conscious memory of your origin and

purpose. It is possible for one to live their purpose without conscious memory, but it is difficult.

When conscious memory is lost, then a loss of identity may also occur and the result can be a

loss of direction and life path itself. Also, there is a qualitative difference in living with

awareness versus not.”

“This may be true in your case, because I find that you are still chasing dreams, whereas

if in fact you are a Fakir, then dreams should be chasing you. The state of Oneness you lived

centuries ago should still be working for you; once a Fakir, always a Fakir. With that as your

true inner state, you will live this life calling; and that is the difference. These intentions were

set in motion centuries ago, and not just by you personally but along with many others.” There

was no stopping now.

“Are you saying I have no independent presence?” Inder asked. “That I’m bound for

lifetimes with this group?”

“That question I will leave to you to answer, after you have consciously experienced the

inner states. But first tell me, what is your deepest desire?” I was still on a fact-finding mission.

“I want to make a lot of money,” he responded simply.

“Why?” I intercepted.

“I want to develop hospitals and schools for the poor. I want to develop farmland and

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start a co-operative of sorts, where farmers can cultivate the land and share the proceeds equally.

My dream is to…,” and Inder carried on.

“What will you do with all the money you make from your ventures and assets you

acquire?” I asked bluntly.

“Helping others is my personal dream, so my assets will be utilized for such causes.”

“What about your children?” I asked, wanting to know more.

“I will pay for their education and development like I would for others.”

Seeing clearly that I was speaking with a Fakir; someone with no separation, I made my

final pitch. “What will it take to accomplish your dreams? Do you have any training or skills to

develop farmland, housing projects, build hospitals, schools, and so forth?”

“None,” he admitted, “as a matter of fact I don’t need any. None of this is rocket science.

I just need the money.” And with that he stopped talking.

“Where will the money come from?” I asked.

“That’s what I want you to tell me,” he responded casually.

“Do you know anything about Fakirs and their gifts?” I asked.

“A little, not much, just that they carry the God presence within and are blessed to bless.

I have read that kings and enlightened masters alike seek their blessing for fulfillment of their

desired purposes. The strongest Soul can suffer when in physical incarnation. But tell me more

about their gifts.”

“Fakirs aren’t usually known to pray, meditate, or seek. They have transcended to states

beyond the separation. Being one, they enjoy and celebrate everything. Their music and singing

touches Soul and awakens the true identity in others. Their presence is enough to influence

positive changes. They live ordinary lives extraordinarily. What is magic and wonder to us is

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natural to them. They are not bound by their physicality; they can be anywhere, everywhere, yet

nowhere. They can appear in any form, at any time. And this is not because of any skill or

practice; this is a natural phenomenon of being ‘One with’.”

Inder caught on quickly, “Are you saying I have all theses gifts that I’m not aware of?”

“Yes, I believe so,” I said quietly. “You know, Sunny, if we printed your picture in the

newspaper, many people would call to say you have helped them somehow, somewhere. You

have heard how angels and spiritual entities appear and disappear in times of pain, shock and

suffering, and how they help and support humanity when in need? Well, just like that, you too

have been helping others in need, especially around your late teens.” I could see his skepticism

arise at these words.

“Bullshit,” he fired. “You are playing with my mind.”

“Okay, fine,” I said resigned. “Don’t believe me, but soon you will have proof of every

word I have spoken.” So, despite wanting to continue, I dropped the conversation. Silently, I

said to the elder Fakir. “Buddy, he is all yours.”

It was only a few weeks later while we were sitting with a friend, Dr. Chadda, in his

medical clinic, when the doctor asked me for a favour.

“Ruby, can you please help a friend of mine? It will have to be on the phone as she lives

in Mumbai. She is a famous film actress but is in deep despair right now.” Without waiting for

my answer, he dialed her number in Mumbai, spoke a few words to her, and handed me the


“Hello Ruby,” I heard a soft and tired voice at the other end. “I am Priya, Priya

Rajvansh. I hope you can help me.”

“Priya, the famous actress from the movie Haqeekat?” I said with surprise. Her familiar

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face flashed across my mind, and Inder too looked surprised. Apparently, she was one of his


“Ruby,” she continued, “I must tell you I am broke and have no money to pay for your

services. I have suffered huge losses and the only asset I have is tied up in a legal battle. You

see, Chetan died suddenly. My assets were all tied up with his, and his sons from his estranged

marriage grabbed what they could leaving me nothing. He did not want me to work with other

producers or directors so I had no independent income. The only thing I have is this small

apartment and a house on Juhu Beach and that too is held jointly with his two sons. The house is

worth a lot but they won’t allow me to sell it. You see, they don’t need the money as I do.

Moreover, they are very nasty to me and really don’t want to share this asset with me. They

hope I will just go away. I am suffering now from depression and anxiety and have no money,

even for food.” In her monotonous tone, Priya disclosed other details of her sad saga and her


I was shocked. It was hard to imagine that Priya, once a famous film actress, a partner in

award-winning productions, live-in partner to famous director-producer Chetan Anand, brother

of most famous actor and legend, Dev Anand, was broke and penniless. There was little I could

do but give Priya a healing vision. “Priya, I will pray that you be in comfort.”

“Will you be coming to Mumbai?” she inquired without much hope.

“No plans right now, but I will let you know if things change,” I promised as we hung up.

Within a week, circumstances changed. A wealthy industrialist, suffering from depression,

invited me and Inder to his house in Mumbai. When Inder quickly called Priya with the news,

she was ecstatic.

“Thank God, my prayers are answered,” she cried. “I don’t have a car so you will have

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to take a taxi and I’m sorry, I don’t have even taxi fare to offer to you.”

I assured Priya my visit would cost her nothing. During the trip, Inder told me that his

father, Ranjit Singh, a retired Colonel, was also a huge fan of Priya’s. In fact, in 1963 he was a

Major in charge of his unit in Kashmir, at the time Priya and her co-star, Dharmendra(also a

famous film actor) had filmed Haqeekat. And just to sweeten the story, Inder told me that

Dharmendra’s character in the film was called Major Ranjit Singh - after his father! His father

had displayed photographs taken with Priya in his office for a long time, a reminder of his

cherished moments.

When we arrived, Priya welcomed us enthusiastically. Wasting no time, within twenty

minutes she had told us the full story of her situation. As she spoke, I noticed her gaze was

hypnotically drawn to Inder. I was surprised as Dr. Chadda had told me Priya was a shy person.

“Priya,” I asked, “what do you want? What is your desire?”

In a few words, she told me she wanted to act again, to regain her status in the film

industry, and produce some good serials.

“So be it,” I said. “Let us first meditate together and see what God has in store for you.”

So, we sat down on the floor, and after twenty minutes I opened my eyes and felt a strong

energy link between Priya and Inder. I ended the meditation with a prayer, but Priya kept her

eyes closed. Ten minutes later she raised her eyelids and stared at Sunny. Not wanting to disturb

her energy link, we simply waited.

“Sunny, you have returned,” she said softly but clearly. “You are the young Fakir who

came to me in my vision eighteen years ago! At that time, I knew you would return and I would

recognize you.” Priya’s gaze was still locked with Inder, and she shared her vision with us.

“It was about eighteen years ago. I was at the height of my career when I had a visitation.

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It was early morning and even though it was a vision, I was awake and it was real. In my vision,

the doorbell rang and my mother answered the door to greet two Fakirs, one old and one in his

late teens. The old Fakir was blind and held in his hands a bowl of jewels- emeralds, rubies, and

sapphires, which he handed to my mother saying, ‘This is for Priya. It is a blessing and a gift she

will need.’ My mother stepped back, and not wanting to accept the gift, she said, ‘Fakir Baba,

my daughter is rich and famous and has everything she will ever need. She does not need this

gift.’ And with this, she began to close the door on the Fakirs. Just then I stepped forward to the

threshold, but the elder Fakir stepped backward. The young Fakir looked into my eyes and said,

‘You have made Fakir Baba angry; you should not have refused the gifts. One day you will be in

desperate need but the Fakir Baba will not return.’”

As Priya described this vision, her body vibrated with tremors. Tears rolled down her

face as she said to Inder, “I did not see the elder Fakir as clearly as I saw the young one. I told

my mother of the vision, and said I might not recognize the elder Fakir but I will certainly

recognize the young one. I know his eyes. And I also know he will return.”

“Each day for five years I waited, hoping the young Fakir would return. I know it was

not just a vision. This actually happened. I blamed my mother for her arrogance in not

accepting the gift, even though it happened in my vision. And then as Ruby guided us into

meditation just now, it all came back. I recognize your eyes. Now that you are back, I know

everything will be okay.”

“Priya, what colour of robes was the young Fakir wearing?” asked Inder gently.

“Black,” answered Priya, her gaze locked with his.

“No, they were grey,” corrected Inder in the timeless space that had opened between


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“Yes I am sorry, the elder Fakir wore black and you were in grey,” she said softly.

And time hung.

It is almost impossible to capture such moments with words, however, these rare and

exquisite occurrences open the door to the unknown. Here, time stands still and one glimpse is

enough to generate faith for several lifetimes. Inder wept. And he knew that what Priya

experienced was real.

After that, Priya showed us her Juhu Beach house. “This is where I spend every

evening. It is my way of being present until we can sell the house. Chetan’s sons come here

later, after I have gone,” she explained.

“Why don’t they simply buy your share?” I asked.

“They won’t,” she answered. “They don’t want to share it with me at all.”

“Priya, I will help you get the house sold without any conflict and without lawyers. I

promise you will get your share, but you must promise me you will not return to this property

again until I have finished my work.”

“How can it settle with those two devils if they refuse to acknowledge my share? I know

they will fight me tooth and nail,” she despaired.

“Priya, the conflict exists in the mind, not in Spirit. Let me do what I am gifted to do. I

promise you will receive your share, all within two months. But I cannot guarantee your safety

if you are present here in this house. There is danger here, you cannot trust anyone here.

Anything is possible, even murder,” I warned.

And so Priya promised she would not enter the house until I had completed my work. We

exchanged phone numbers and as we climbed into the taxi, she gave Inder a tight hug saying,

“My Fakir is back; I have nothing to fear.”

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During the ride back to town we said nothing until I broke the silence. “I see the writing

on the wall. Priya will not keep her promise.”

“How do you know?” roared Inder.

“I just had a vision. I saw a newspaper article that read: ‘FAMOUS ACTRESS PRIYA

RAJVANSH FOUND DEAD.’ Her lifeless body lay on the floor of her Juhu Beach house; she

had been murdered by her stepsons.”

Inder was shocked, “How can you let this happen? You promised her safety. What good

are your healing abilities if you cannot save her?”

“Sunny, I do not have the power to alter the script. The outcome could be changed by her

not returning to the house. Taking a new path, which better suits her Soul script could result in a

different outcome. But I have no control if she follows the old path which leads to imminent

destruction. The best I could do was be truthful and warn her, which I did. However, I will pray

that peace comes upon her.”

Two weeks later, while en route from India to London, we stopped in Dubai for

refuelling. In the transit lounge, Inder found a local newspaper which he brought back on the

plane. At thirty five thousand feet in the air, he flipped the pages reading news headlines.

With my eyes closed and trying to relax, I said, “Sunny, flip to the last page and look at

the upper right side.” He turned to the page in question and exclaimed, “Oh God! It happened.

Priya is dead!” On the upper right side, in big, bold letters it read, “FAMOUS INDIAN

ACTRESS PRIYA RAJVANSH MURDERED.” It also mentioned that her two stepsons were

being held as suspects.

Upon our return to Canada, we called Dr. Chadha who was still in shock. “Ruby had

warned her not to return to the house but Priya did not listen,” Inder reported sadly.

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“Inder,” said Dr. Chadha, “she tried desperately to get hold of you the day she was

murdered. She said she was nervous and had to talk to you about something. She called you at

least twenty times.”

“When was she murdered?” asked Inder.

“The evening of March 27,” replied Dr. Chadha.

“My birthday,” Sunny sighed sadly.

The story did not end there as Priya did show up later, but in spirit, and still she comes as

a breath of fresh air bringing spring upon us.

I have found no better way to express truth than through the actual stories that Souls

leave behind as legacies. What would we all be without our story; and a story without a past

cannot have a future. A life once lived is usually forgotten, but for me no story is too old or

belongs only in the past. As long as Spirit is alive, there will be Souls and their stories. We wear

our stories on us as we live them.

No revelation, big or small, can reveal the entire truth; even the genius mind does not

have the ability to comprehend everything. The seer can only see what he sees; there is always

more when it comes to Spirit and Soul. Inder got a glimpse and some proof of his spiritual

lineage with his interaction with Priya, while she found her Fakir, and I am sure their saga will

continue. And I, the only known witness to it all, received more confirmation that I should keep

following my path and live as the Fakirs’ do, with Oneness. Only then will I have the gift to

enjoy all existence.

In the absence of the conscious connection, our intentions seems erratic and without

meaningful purpose. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect the inner level of awareness from

everyone, but what can be expected is the knowing that behind our intentions is a fine tapestry

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woven with colours and designs from earth to sky and everything in between. Some colours and

designs we may remember and most not; the ones we remember are the ones we get attached to.

The others we simply forget. Attachment, as pleasing as it seems, is the reason for the

forgetfulness. We forget and so we continue to move forward.

I always considered desire to be the key to my inner treasury. To me it had spiritual

value. It offered me a ladder, an opportunity to climb higher and reach the top. One conscious

desire could generate enough life force to enlighten humanity, just as one nuclear bomb can

destroy. I was fascinated by the possibilities.

From the time I was a young girl, I was filled with desires. I felt special and I wanted to

do something original. I yearned to have an extraordinary life. I wanted the power and

intelligence to create a way of being, where each person could live off their genius and their

gifts. I wanted to create a world of healthy thinkers. I wanted everything and everyone to be

responsible and free.

All these desires were considered to be egocentric and as a young girl they made me look

like a dreamer. But after my spiritual awakening in 1992, I realized there was more to

everything that I was aware of. My desires were actually clues; I was being given the

opportunity to design my destiny and fulfill all my dreams from a Soul perspective. I also

realized I could achieve fulfillment spontaneously by being a certain way, rather than wanting

things and then hoping to be that way.

My friend NKO once remarked, “Ruby was not born; you have created her of your free

will.” At the time, I did not understand what he meant. One day over drinks, we began

discussing astrology and I asked him, “NKO, tell me about the planetary influences on us.” In

response, he told me to close my eyes and experience the planets for myself.

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I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I had jumped into the galaxy and was seeing

myself as a living constellation within a universe of stars and planets. Some planets were more

forceful than others and seemed to influence the smaller ones. While many planets were forced

into certain movements, others moved in their own eccentric patterns. I saw that each planet and

constellation had its own tune or vibration, and together they created a symphony that was

sensational. Lying back, I simply enjoyed the music for a while.

I realized that as individuals we have choice in how we respond to the vibrations of the

universe. Our vibrations may be influenced and we may be forced to move in a certain direction,

but how we move is our own choice. In this sense, we are never victims. We can always choose

our dance, whether quickstep, jive, or salsa. And while each dance has certain structure and

rules, we choose to perform it our own way. This is the essence of free will and with it comes

responsibility. Only then did I realize what my friend had meant. My dance step had not been

forced upon me; I had chosen it of my free will.

This is when I became interested in getting to know the dreamer. I also wanted to reach

out and share what I was learning with others. I had no idea a new way was about to open up –

bringing with it exciting new possibilities!

Chapter Thirteen
The Radio Interview
In October 2006, I received an invitation to do a live interview on AM 680 CJOB

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Winnipeg. Radio is a fun way to reach people, I thought, as I accepted the invitation. When I

arrived at the studio that morning, my host Adrienne Batra hit a cord in me immediately with her

mischievous smile. I was a bit nervous but also very excited, and it took only a few minutes for

Adrienne’s casual playfulness to warm me for the interview. Clearly in her comfort zone, her

sparkling brown eyes were ready for excitement. With flair and attitude she introduced me to the

world of radio.

“It’s an effortless way to reach people,” she said with professional flamboyance. I was

attracted to her style, as she pushed her long dark hair off her face in one sweep, adjusted her

short bangs, and was ready for take-off.

“We’re on in ten seconds,” she said, giving me the heads up. Switching gears

effortlessly, she proceeded to announce the results of a football game. Her words, voice, and

tone created a synergetic flow and before I knew it, I was on the energy roll with her as within

seconds, she became part of a much larger world. Gently, she helped me step into the

spontaneity and enter a conversation that was light yet deep. Thus inspired, I fell in love with

radio like a new toy. The room was filled with high energy and a creative presence and I was

thrilled to feel a familiarity and comfort in being there.

“My guest today is Ruby Bedi, who has been called a modern day oracle.” With these

words, Adrienne welcomed me onto her show. Fascinated, I felt there was just something in the

way she pronounced my name. It felt like a reminder of sorts, but I put the thought on hold, and

for the next ten minutes became fully engaged in the conversation with my host. I was really

starting to enjoy the ride when we had to stop for a commercial.

“I love this!” I said. “It will be perfect for me.” Stepping into the future, I instantly

envisioned myself talking on line with others.

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“Yes!” Adrienne finished the thought for me, and both of us broke into a big enthusiastic

smile. Then she was on again, seducing the listeners (including me) with her words, presence,

and style. The room was certainly small for a big personality like hers.

“Ruby Bedi,” she said again, and again I felt it - this odd, distinct feeling of reminder. It

felt like I was being called. I also realized there was some good reason for me being here on the

air with her. With no time to mull over it, I made a mental note to later check my inner mailbox

for messages. Something was up.

There was a presence in the room indicating there were more than just two of us here.

When I looked at Adrienne, she now seemed even more familiar. I knew her from somewhere

and there was more to this than what I was remembering. I knew she had done much more than

just announce my name; she had introduced the person who Ruby Bedi was meant to be. But we

were on air again and there was no time to ponder this as we discussed spirituality, relationships,

and my upcoming book.

All too soon we were done, but my mind was occupied with the deep response that

hearing her speak my own name had triggered. I made a new connection with the name.

Ecstatic, for the first time I felt pride in being Ruby Bedi. It would allow me to express the

mystic essence of my Soul.

Later I could not stop thinking about Adrienne; I seemed to be trapped in her energy

field. I tried to make sense of it but soon decided to simply enjoy the fun-loving presence I was

feeling. At bedtime, I told Inder about this odd connection to Adrienne. I even tried to say my

name “Ruby Bedi” the same way she had said it. Inwardly, I kept repeating my name like a


My Father’s Visit

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“All dreams come true in time.”

It was only when I was ready to fall asleep that I noticed a deep sadness growing within

till it became a gnawing ache in my Soul. I burst into tears as I shared my feelings with Inder,

and that’s when I first became aware of my father’s presence.

“My father is here,” I whispered, as I wept profusely. “He too has tears in his eyes. He is

saying he is proud of me and today he knows that spirituality is no longer a concept for me. It

has value and purpose. I was born to live it and share it with others. He says I will connect with

others and share my knowledge through the medium of radio and television.” Just then, my

vision opened and I caught a glimpse of a future experience.

I saw myself talking to an elderly woman who was suffering from some chronic disease

and unable to move around much. Her husband, her only caregiver, had died suddenly from a

heart attack. She could feel her husband but she was unable to see him. She was gripped by

panic and fear and was one of the callers on a radio talk show. I could feel my heart constricting

as I began bringing messages from her husband on the other side. He was in as much pain and

fear as she. I was trying to bring peace to them both and at the same time praying silently to God

to step in quickly and take over. The wife’s sobbing was ripping me apart. Her pain was waking

me up from inertia and lethargy, compelling me to become involved. I was left with no choice

but to become responsibly engaged.

This vision dissolved any guards I had built around myself. I was pain-struck, but unlike

my own personal pain, here I could do something to help. I felt no fear of taking on someone

else’s karma or energy; rather, it was meaningful to become involved. I knew my role. The

greater purpose of my work was to bring peace to those who were suffering. I might not be able

to change their destiny, but I could follow my own destined path, helping however I could.

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I must give my fullest here, I thought. The thought of being present for someone else in

pain was humbling and I remembered the times in my work when I was doing just that. But

somewhere along the line I had become distant and detached myself from the work; it happened

when I did not get the results I wanted. But now, I let go of the outcome and was once again

sought pleasure and purpose in the journey.

I decided to take on whatever God’s plan was for me; I think I was being a bit self-

serving. Yes, God had to be a partner in this and I made sure I included all three in the healing

triangle: God, others, and myself. I called it the “X” factor.

Oooooh! Breathing deeply, I stretched out - giving my heart more space. I could feel the

opening and fresh air in my lungs and after a time, there was a gentle mellowness in me. I guess

this is what acceptance does. By living out my purpose, even through a vision, I had earned

grace. Feeling empowered, I made a decision to handle these responsibilities with pride and

spiritual poise. Ready to make amendments to my life plan, I made a personal commitment that

my heart would no longer ache for personal reasons. Instead, my own heartache would be the

message that someone, somewhere, was waiting for me to reach out and ease their pain, and

from now on I would put their pain before mine.

My father was a witness to my promise. As my pain lessened, I reached out and held

onto him. I let go of the regret and pain I had felt from not being close to him. Just before he

left, he whispered, “I have never prayed for anything, not because I was not a believer, but

because I believed God had given me everything I needed to create the best life possible. This

knowing gave me the courage and confidence to work hard to accomplish a life of purpose and

integrity. But today I will pray that you accomplish the life of your purpose. You will need the

wisdom and intelligence to conquer personal temptations and become part of the bigger world.

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You are moving from the “I” into the “All Space”. You have accomplished the first part of your

Soul’s promise which was to be conscious of what you are. You have gone beyond the

personality and connected with your Soul individuality and recognized your truth. The solo

journey is now complete. Now it is time to fulfill the second part of your promise which is to

rise above your personal beliefs and be open to a state where all beings meet on common


Immediately, I thought of a garden with many flowers including roses with thorns and a

dry, prickly cactus. I knew what he meant, a place where all things were set in their mould but

were part of one landscape, where individual actions translate into collective consequences. A

space where to be conscious meant to be part of consciousness, where a personal realization

transcended into a way of being, and the single entity has melted into the larger cosmic pool. I

realized he was talking about intelligence and not just a way of being.

To meet his vision, I would have to rise above “my space”, become part of the subtle

realm, then descend into the collective space from the personal one. Here, I would be part of the

“All Space”, a community comprised of people, thoughts, and things. The fusion of all things

would create balance between the old and new, greater and smaller, the subtle and the manifest.

To be part of the integration and prepare the form for mass individualization would be the work

for many. And it was for this materialization of intelligence that I would offer my services.

Wow! It brought forth joy to know that my inner being was about to tumble and flow

into the mass consciousness. I would not have to reinvent myself but rather, I would absorb the

effects of mass consciousness through my being by being conscious. I was the vessel of

intelligence and I was ready to deliver.

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“You have everything you need to create wealth, knowledge, and abundance,” my father

said softly. “My dear child! This test is not for the poor but for the rich. Only when we have

knowledge can we see that we have choices. Your heart may be pure, and you may be generous,

but unless you move into the “All Space” with full awareness, you will not be in peace. You

must fulfill your Soul obligations to be in peace, and completion of a long-standing promise will

elevate your being to enjoy the privileges of Soul adulthood.”

With this message, my father left me with an open-ended possibility to create the life I

wanted to live. I knew it was up to me to choose what I wanted to experience. My father was a

wise man; he inspired rather than guided me. He did not want to rob me of the pleasure of a

direct experience, nor did he want me to follow. He knew I was a leader and that my self-

realization was a personal attempt to explore my highest potential.

This was so exciting for me. While my father was in the physical I was not able to be

close to him. I had yearned for him and his coming to me at this time awakened my commitment,

responsibility, and promise to myself. Suddenly the stars lined up and all the dots connected.

His words inspired me to examine myself. I felt ready for take-off but I also knew I had become

a bit hardened. My beliefs about who I “should be” were contradictory to who I was and that

had given me a thick, crusty shell. Holding on to beliefs and using them to protect and defend

my identity had cocooned me into a cynical and bittersweet person. Then my father put one

hand on my forehead as if to stop me from thinking, and the other on my heart, and as he did I

could feel a letting go.

“Each time your heart misses a beat, know that you have missed an opportunity to live to

your fullest. Meditate upon your name,” he instructed, “and you will remember your promise.”

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He left me with a new strength, clarity, and commitment to discover my Soul Promise in its

entirety. And the secret, he had said, was in my name.

Many had called my name but it was Adrienne who had pulled the trigger when she

announced me. She was so herself. Her flirtatious sensuality had seduced me into desiring

again. I wanted to live all of me without reservation or inhibition. I wanted my work to be as

tantalizingly beautiful as hers. My sensual sexuality was for a reason. I wanted to grab life by

its tail and paint the world canvas with the colours of my Soul. I wanted to live the entire realm

of spirituality, with hidden meanings and concealed purposes, with awakened intelligence. My

world would be multiple, not one.

I wanted to honour womanhood with dignity and love, and to commit to those who

wanted to rise above the struggle and live in harmony and strength. I wanted to restring the

pearls of wisdom and ancient knowledge with a new and innovative approach. I thought of the

lotus, a flower that blossoms in the midst of filth and murky waters. “Why can’t I be the lotus

and arise from within the polluted environment and external conditioning?” The thought of

being out there with nothing holding me back generated a new power in me. I found myself

tumbling into a non-stop field of creativity and spontaneity.

The Death of Death

“Mom, we must check the Kabbalah meaning for your name,” my daughter Sona

suggested, when I told her about my father’s instruction to ‘meditate upon your name’. She then

sent out a request with my name and birthdate. In twenty-four hours, we received the shorter

version of the meaning and a few days later a friend of hers, Amy, emailed me the insight of my

name from the book, The 72 Names of God. It said:

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“The power of death is not limited to the physical body. The end of friendship, the failure

of a business, or the dissolution of a marriage are all expressions of death. When good things

are in danger of coming to an end, this name banishes death!

Insight: Make no mistake- The one Angel of Death is the cause whenever good things of

any kind come to an end. By attacking at the most fundamental level, we avert many of the

fatalities that strike us. These letters are powerful weapons for making the attack. With each set

of eyes that falls upon this Name, the power of the Angel of Death is weakened throughout the

world until ultimately, the “death of death” takes place and immortality reigns.” 16

I was stunned. Shooting energy in my spine, chills, and goose bumps were all

confirmation of the rising spirit. Today, I had proof I was a conscious act of the universe with a

deliberate desire, specific focus, and a non-confining intelligence. My name was not just a

name; it was an identity for a Soul with a plan, a purpose, and responsibility to fulfill the

outstanding promise of being Ruby Bedi. There was no one else out there with this name and

destiny. There were no footprints I could follow and this brought some fear, but also a sense of


My life-plan was my intention and it was a thoughtful plan scripted by my Soul-self to

live my purpose. The meaning and insight of my name fit my work purpose to a tee. That is

exactly what I helped my clients with. They came to me when they were sick, tired, and

confused. Broken promises were a big part of the work. With ease, I helped people through

child custody battles, business upsets, divorces, and other marital and financial problems.

Things got better after their session, and whatever I said seemed to have a deeper meaning and

purposefulness in my clients’ lives. They were touched and comforted, finding new ways to live

in harmony with themselves and the environment.

Yehuda Berg, The 72 Names of God, ©2004, Kabbalah Centre Books Publishing.

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For all this to happen there had to be some “X” factor working behind the scenes. God

and the universe were on our side, supporting our intentions. Beyond my own consciousness

was a force backing up every action, thought, word, and intention. Perhaps it was a blessing or

just plain, simple, good karma. Knowing the meaning of my name confirmed my thoughts, gave

me confidence and courage, and brought me peace. I felt responsible to live up to my name at

any cost and a greater part of me was now committed to the welfare of others. This all created a

spontaneous shift; within seconds, I moved from simple growth and development to a greater


This profound revelation brought new insights and my inner landscape began to change.

There was a new relatedness to everything, even my relationship with God. I could see what was

of me and what was of God. I could experience God in all things, both big and small. This new,

greater perspective included awareness of me, my environment, and the “X” factor, everything

beyond. Now more aware of my thoughts, I worked to match the intensity of my thought with

appropriate action. .

My communication became more effective. I noticed people were responding to my

vibration, there was synchronicity and unaccustomed transparency. I was reminded that the best

way to keep the secret was to share it and I did just that. I watched others easily open up and the

landscape of relationships was changing with a new, higher level of attunement. Aware of a new

collective intelligence within, I began to feel the same responsibility and love for others as I felt

for myself. But all this was born of many events and not just the result of a split-second

enlightenment, although it seemed that way.

Because of my past, I often wondered what I did to deserve this gift. I had separated

myself from the rules and laws of others and created my own set of principles, custom-made for

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me. In being critical of myself and others, I had violated the most fundamental laws of nature.

Causing harm was not my intention, but I knew I had the potential to be more and criticism was

my way of not settling for less. I had kept secrets and even when given the opportunity to be

truthful, I wasn’t. Not yet matured in self-belief, I was not ready to risk premature exposure.

I realized I did not want to be like others; in trying to do so, I had almost lost my

authenticity. Without maturity, there were many things I did not understand which left me more

negative than positive. I had subjected myself to hurt, anger, depression, and disease. By self

inflicting pain and suffering, we punish ourselves for not living up to our fullest ability.

“Dear God: Let no day pass with me not knowing who I am.”

To me the fear of losing my Soul memory was far greater than the fear of losing my life.

It would be easier to die than to not know who I am. All this could have been avoided if only I’d

had someone like me to shed light upon my identity as Soul. This gave birth to a desire to bring

awareness and enlightenment, and the gift of seeing and being. This would be my unique gift to

others and the universe. Then I walked into a vision.

The Vision of the Caged Tiger

I saw a tiger roaring in a cage. It wanted out. It was ready to attack. First, I was afraid

of the ferocious animal and then I felt pity for it. But even though I was still fearful, I put his

freedom before my fear so I opened the gate and let the tiger out. It jumped on me and pinned

me down. I was on my back and looking into its eyes but this time without fear. It kept roaring

as if trying to intimidate me. I did not distract it but rather I held my gaze and watched until it

exhausted its outburst. With his energy now diffused, he sat down beside me like an old friend.

As I pet him lightly on the head, we gazed into each other’s eyes exchanging first passion, then

compassion. Then we both closed our eyes and disappeared into our own worlds.

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This brought me to another realization that my Soul, like the tiger was trapped in a cage.

Until I consciously let go of fear and opened the cage, the anger I had (that the tiger displayed)

was my unrecognized and unutilized power. Not being aware had resulted in internal anger and

violence. The moment I put the tiger first, I put Soul first and when I released the beast it was

the letting go. When I did not react and allowed it to simply release its frustration, it surrendered

and sat down beside me.

It was the same when I consciously decided to connect with myself as Soul, and let my

roaring personality out. Through my different personas, I had witnessed its frustration. As I

became aware of the personas, I looked right into them without reaction or judgement, they

started to drop and melt into the Soul. The tiger sitting next to me indicated integration and

harmony between Soul and my animal instincts. I was in balance and for the first time

unashamed of my beastly nature. It had a place and a role in my life. The new balance and the

conscious letting go made me relax and I closed my eyes.

When I awoke, I felt I had been in the company of my friends, the special group of Souls.

These Souls were redefining the collective intelligence for a new breakthrough. A fulfilling life

with force- to counter the negative influences of greed and exploitation, energy and intelligence-

to unify the diverse forces, and power and will- to enforce a self governing ethics within

societies, communities, and governing bodies. There would be special focus on the corporate

bodies to lift their purpose from personal gain and social recognition to serve as instruments for

bettering the human condition. I knew there were others who were working on the same

promise. Our paths might be separate but we would simultaneously serve the same purpose.

I could feel the inspiration and influence of other Soul-minded people upon me. Our

manifesting within the same time is to connect and hold the all space for each other. Each with

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unique ethics and perspective were subtly attuned, and like a silent whistle that awakens the one

whose turn is next, as soon as one comes into awareness, others follow. We may not connect the

way we think we should, but since we are part of the same Soul group, we have the ability to

influence each other’s world. Moreover, I believe that when we consciously remember our Soul

friends and are able to support each other with awareness, the payback is far more than we might


Magenta – the Puppet with a Soul

Back in grade three we were asked to write a story, and mine was about a puppet from

the puppet’s perspective. It went like this- Magenta is the name of a puppet with a Soul. It is

Christmas and the puppet is sitting on the store shelf. Magenta patiently awaits her turn as many

around her are chosen, gift wrapped, and taken away. It is now closing time and no one has

come for her. At the last minute, a hand reaches out and grabs her and she too is wrapped in

gold and silver paper with red and green bows.

That night she is placed under the most beautiful Christmas tree strung with white lights

angels and toys hanging on the branches. Magenta loves her new home, especially when Cedar,

the two month old German Shepherd puppy lies beside her under the tree, warming her with his

puppy breath. Here, she has a dream. At midnight when all is quiet and dark, she awakens to a

life of purpose and meaning. She walks out of her dream and finds the people and places she is

connected to and as she touches them she lights up their world with joy, strength, and love. She

brings peace and magic to each and every person. She fulfills her dream as she inspires others to

fulfill theirs. She manifests her desire to share love and peace and, upon completion of her

purpose, she merges into the night as she falls into a deep sleep.

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The next morning, I met my friend, Edith, at Starbucks. While sipping on a green tea

latte, we discussed the possibility of writing a children’s storybook. The perspective would be a

puppet with a Soul whose purpose is to light up everyone’s world. I didn’t quite remember about

my prize-winning grade three story until we decided to call the puppet Magenta! I realized there

were several Magentas out there, ready to awaken from a deep sleep and resume the Soul


All Lights On

Each occurrence was awakening me to see and sense things in new ways. My visions

were confirming and revealing my inner truth. I was in wonder. When I turned inwards, I noticed

my body was like the Christmas tree with every cell lit in white light. I could feel the electrical

current flowing from one cell to another. All the cells were lit with the same intensity, all alive,

with memory, recognition, power, force, and will. It was now impossible to tell the original cell

from the copy. It was a long awaited miracle. All LIGHTS ON, and I was thrilled!

By this time, I had realized it was not my personal will working this wonder. Yes, I had a

dream. But this was so much more than what I could dream of. I remembered a night, two

weeks prior when I sat up writing until early morning. Around five o’clock as I gazed out the

big picture window of the living room, it was dark, and then in a split second, there was light.

All in one stroke, I had seen the first ray of light come in and the first streak of darkness

disappear. The fact that I had been able to catch a glimpse of the subtle and experience the first

rays of light and darkness made me part of the wonder. In form I was in touch with the formless.

And I had an inkling there was more to see. My subtle sense was developing; meaning I was

ready to witness more.

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With my introspective nature, I was able to witness the break in awareness,

consciousness, energy and life force. When we are one with the continuum, we spontaneously

enter the space where we transcend it. Some call that the ‘gap’. The same principle must exist

between two lives, as in two thoughts and actions. My mind cried out for more! I felt it was

only a matter of time before I witnessed the journey of a Soul in one life and then another, the

wonder of reincarnation. The possibility was too good to be true, so before I killed it with my

thinking I decided to drop it, and revisit another matter that needed clarity. For this I would need

to enter my ‘inner lab’.

The subject was the Soul content. I was already well aware of the personas and how I

would use them to negotiate personal space. They were responses I had developed to cope with

input and response from others, and more for their benefit than mine. But without the awareness,

I could not see the flip side. Beneath the veil of each persona was the mature mind with reason

and purpose.

Until I discovered this truth, the persona protected my well being at the outer level and

was necessary for experiencing myself through the mind of others. It was also a survival tool to

preserve and protect my authenticity. But once I had seen and experienced my true self as Soul,

the mask automatically dropped; the need for self-preservation simply vanished. Once

connected at the source level, my persona would undergo a transformation and my personal code

of ethics to live from my full expression would emerge. We each carry a book of instructions

within us, much like a personal manual with a plan to sustain and maintain and optimize our

potential in the most effective way. It is a guide for our soul mechanics with a what-and-how-to-

do-it list. Awareness of the personal specifics keeps us squeaky clean, free and clear of inner and

outer toxicity.

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It takes a high state of awareness to see subtle change occurring. One perceives from

their current level of awareness and when that level changes, they change. One cannot

comprehend their current reality. Like night and day, few can perceive or see light while it is

dark or dark while it is light, yet both co-exist. Coming into new awareness takes time but when

you do, it reveals itself as a new way of being. It is not necessary to consciously address the old

as it simply dissolves into the illusion. What remains are hard facts that are visible, true, and

transparent. A new understanding is born that I call the new dawn.

I realized that spirituality is not just a tool for consciousness to manifest in the physical.

It has a transforming quality that can separate the gold from the dust; it can decipher the true

from the false. I could the feel the essence of this Soul intelligence within me. It is not ego that

causes us to believe we can live forever. Death is a higher state of awareness where Soul may

witness both the subtle and the physical. At death we shed our body and take on new dreams to

live our promise; the sequence does not break as we continue to live our intention. But we lose

the memory to know ourselves as one continuous being. We are consciousness and we know

that consciousness never dies. Physical death opens the portal to live our immortality repeatedly.

The more I saw, the more I was able to see. With interest, I noticed that everything was

in the light but I could only see what I could see. Despite having all lights on, I could only be

aware of what I was conscious of. Even though there was a lot more to see, nothing else was

visible to me. I could not see eternity but I could see in the moment. I realized the eye I had

developed could not experience eternity without living it one moment at a time. Wow! Here

was another closure for wanting to see more than necessary. I realized my desire to live eternally

was being manifested by living each moment. Each moment, in fact, was eternal. The need to

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go forward and the reason to go backward both crashed and I found myself waking up from a

dream and stepping into another dream, this time consciously.

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Chapter Fourteen
Living the Soul Promise
I first received the key to my Soul and my promise when Maji gave me the “Four Pillars

Meditation”. It had long been my secret desire to deliver a genius formula to unleash our full

potential and live an enlightened life. This meant a full and conscious connection with the

Source, intelligence, and life force to create and enjoy everything that Soul desired. I had

promised myself I would not rest until my mind and body had fully awakened. Once awakened,

I would then pass the torch to others. One by one, we would gradually light up our lives, our

world, and eventually, the entire planet.

This was not simply wishful thinking or my overactive mind; this wisdom came from

pure knowing. At times, it felt like I was romancing with idealism and building my foundation

on ideologies. This is natural when we think ahead. But my inspiration was rooted in

intelligence and awareness; I could recognize the signs and observe the patterns.

My dream was real and very doable, but it is only as good as the dreamer. So I would

build up the dreamer in order to house a bigger dream. Soon my Soul provided me with another


Vision of the Horse

In an early morning meditation, I saw a gorgeous horse, healthy and sturdy with a

beautiful, full mane. The horse was tied and locked in a stable, neighing as it desperately tried to

break free. I immediately wanted to run and free the horse. But the fear of losing him and being

left with nothing held me back, so I stood watching the animal. Suddenly, I followed my

impulse. I ran to the stable, untied the horse, and even opened the gate. My guess was correct;

the horse took off at a gallop and within minutes vanished into the wilderness. But far from

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being sad or afraid, I clapped my hands and jumped up and down with joy! I felt thrilled and

elevated knowing I was finally able to let go.

This vision was my Soul speaking to me, giving me valuable insight into my current state

within. Always cautious, I had feared expressing my true self and held on to my power. Letting

the horse go was my way of freeing my own life force, releasing the burden and stress of holding

on. I instantly felt strong, courageous and free in the letting go. Watching the horse disappear

brought me immense pleasure. I realized then I had been holding back to the point where the

power was lost even to me.

I kept my attention on the feelings of letting go, and soaked in the vibrations for many

days after. I was aware that this internal vibration would soon manifest its physical match from

the external. This was my way of building my self up, along with the life of my dreams.

Next, Raj’s mastermind Soul group came to mind and I felt a tremendous pressure to go

within and consciously experience silence. There was something going on that still needed to

arise. When I thought of the evolved Souls with the common purpose, I knew I had a role to

play. It too would effortlessly emerge like the rising sun each day; all I had to do was to be

conscious and present. I had an inner sense that the tide was turning and we, in our human state

of consciousness, were headed for a mass transformation. It would call for every enlightened

mind to come together and join forces. Mystics, poets, philosophers, artists, teachers, writers,

scientists, and spiritualists along with healers would arise together to support and facilitate the

vision. A new gene pool would be created to facilitate greater awareness and perspective. I was

instinctively preparing for the rising of this genius mind.

I committed to being available and present twenty-four/seven. At first I could sense no

changes, but my perspective had changed subtly. I began to have spontaneous flashes and had

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answers to age-old questions. It was like my antennas were hooked to a mega-computer with

unlimited memory and a super brilliant mind. This hook-up was making me environmentally

friendly and compatible. The peace centred me and with less stress, my instincts and intuition

were enhanced. I felt content with my knowledge and my life.

I deeply regretted not being able to establish a conscious connection with Ma ji and Raj

before they crossed over. I realized that spiritual shyness was partly responsible for the non-

recognition. Although we share family, religion, politics, social values, and culture, we seldom

get to know each other. We communicate physically, emotionally, and intellectually but not

spiritually. Spiritual intimacy is not fostered or encouraged in most family and social situations.

Although the opportunity exists, we are not groomed to reach out and touch the unfathomable

spirit in each other. With neither the language nor the understanding, we hide our true feelings

and engage mostly through personas, seldom revealing our true self. In wanting to be righteous,

we undermine the power of our own authenticity and originality. Even though it was late, I

knew it was not too late; there was still more to come.

2006: A Soul Returns

One day I was chatting with a friend over coffee, when our conversation turned to my

unfinished manuscript. “I wonder who else will come along to help me complete the book?” I


“Who do you think it will be?” she asked.

“I think it will be a young child who will guide me towards the end,” I answered


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Almost a month later, I was passing through Calgary and meeting my daughter Rachna

over lunch at Earl’s. We were catching up as I nibbled on my favourite Santa Fe salad with

grilled chicken.

About halfway through lunch, Rachna asked me if I had heard any more about Melissa.

As it happened, Rachna’s husband, Rohit, actually worked with Melissa’s father, Don. At the

very moment she asked, my cellphone rang. “Ruby, this is Julia…,” I heard her say. At the

exact same moment, Rachna’s phone rang. “Is Mom with you?” queried Rohit. “Don is sitting

here in my office and wants to talk to her.” Both Don and Julia had called me at the same

moment. I realized immediately it was exactly two months to the day since my last conversation

with Monica. The timing was exact and unmistakable!

“Oh, I’m so glad you are in town,” exclaimed Julia. “We really need to talk with you

about our daughter, Melissa. It is like she is fifteen in the body of a seven –year old. She knows

a lot more than her age. She’s begun to have problems at school and we need some help in

knowing how to guide her in the best way possible.”Julia did not know what was wrong but she

had a hunch that Melissa needed to see me.

This was the call I knew would come. As Julia spoke, I began to get images confirming

the information Monica had given me. I had a pretty good idea of what was about to come, so

with my heart pounding I prepared to enter the discussion I had been avoiding. I walked out of

the restaurant to find clearer reception.

“What kind of dreams does she have?” I asked, already looking for signs.

“Well, she flies a lot and goes places,” replied Julia. “She says she wants to help people

and I guess heal them.”

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It was time and I did not hold back. “Julia, do you believe in reincarnation?” The words

fairly flew out of my mouth.

“I you think Melissa has lived before? Because if she has, it would certainly

explain a lot of things,” Julia responded, not at all surprised.

With no hesitation, I made the leap. “Julia,” I said, “I believe I know your daughter from

her most recent previous incarnation.”

And then I told her about Monica and her conversations with me. It was strange hearing

myself participate in a discussion where more than two parties and dimensions were involved

which had occurred as much in the past as it was now occurring in the present. I spoke clearly so

I would be understood.

“Have you read about the Tibetan Lamas?” I asked. “How they were recognized and

chosen by merit of their knowledge from previous lives to continue their Soul work? They

incarnated in the same type of intelligence, often returning to the same environment to fulfill

their spiritual calling. It would sometimes take them more than one lifetime to complete their

Soul purpose.”

“I think I know what you are talking about,” Julia said. “Don and I are completely open

to all this. I am getting very excited to get more information.”

Julia was obviously more ready for this than I was.

The appointment was made. I would see Melissa along with both her parents Saturday

morning two days later. I was excited and began considering many ways to both witness this

miracle and, at some level, get proof that Monica and Melissa were the same Soul.

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As I found myself becoming stressed and anxious, I decided to let go of wanting proof, to

test, or look for similarities. I decided to simply observe and let the chips fall where they may. I

trusted that I would know the truth when I saw Melissa.

When the doorbell rang Saturday morning at eleven sharp, I jumped from my seat to open

the door for young Melissa and her parents. And in the moment I first saw her, I knew instantly

that Monica had returned to life as young Melissa. It was all in her eyes. The force and the fire

in them was the same as Monica’s. As I took her hand, the physical contact hit me like bolt of

lightning. Currents of energy were running through my body and I began to shake. As I invited

them into the house, I tried to manage my state.

Melissa quickly became comfortable and answered me easily as a seven year old would,

descriptively expressing her frustrations at home and school. When I asked about her dreams,

she told me she could fly in her dreams and visit other people. She said that in her sleep, she was

strong and had POWER, yet during the day she was not able to access this power. This confused

and frustrated her. She told me she could talk to the rain, sun, and clouds, and felt she had a

special relationship with the elements.

As she spoke, I listened carefully. Without her being aware, I asked the questions and

within seconds she would blurt out the information I was seeking. At one point in the

conversation, I silently requested to Monica that she give me more proof. Immediately, Melissa

held her head from both sides and said, “I can’t remember!” just the way Monica had done when

I asked if she remembered her Soul Purpose. This was a gesture that Monica had and Melissa

then demonstrated exactly same habit – and more than once. I realized I was looking at a person

who was almost identical to me, except she had clarity and an openness I did not have at her age.

I needed no further proof; she confirmed things only I knew.

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For a few moments, I wondered if I was being tested and tricked into some wishful

miracle and falling prey to some delusion. But my skin, my largest organ, was confirming that

this was no psychotic interlude; I was in the presence of truth. Her facial expression, her words,

the configuration of her sentences, her gestures, and more than all that, her personal energy all

signalled she was Monica reincarnated. There was no doubt in my mind that Monica and

Melissa were the same Soul. At the same time, there was something about her desires, dreams,

and nature that were very much like mine. Her similarity to me too was uncanny and I wondered

what further connection I might have with her.

And then suddenly I remembered Monica’s last words.

“I want to be just like you, Ruby,” she had said.

I asked Melissa to name three flowers in the sequence that came first to her. Without

hesitation she blurted the answer. I was stunned. The three flowers in the sequence she chose

had special meaning for me. They were special codes from my Spirit Guides and teachers in the

subtle realm and were part of my healing work. No one but I knew their order and meaning.

“Melissa, when is your birthday?” I asked, trying to connect the dots.

“December sixth,” she responded, and I gasped.

“It can’t be,” was my first thought. And then, “Why not?” was my second.

She was born on the same day as me. I was still trying to understand, to put the puzzle

together. Why did Monica choose Don and Julia as parents?

Looking at both of them I asked, “What is your Soul desire?”

“We want to be part of a healing centre,” he began, and then proceeded to repeat word for

word Monica’s Soul dream, as she had shared it with me on her deathbed. Their dream was one

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and the same. Monica had taken no chances. For a Soul about to reincarnate there could be no

smarter, more strategic move than this; to be born of parents with the same Soul purpose.

I was overcome, completely astounded. It was the biggest surprise of my life. I knew this

was not just a miracle but also my miracle. Unknowingly, I had been part of the greater design

and my lack of foreknowledge made it that much more awesome. In my life I had seen many

metaphysical miracles, but this one took the prize. I could never have imagined I would ever

experience this phenomenon in this life or any other. Indeed! I was part of a magical universe.

I remembered my days as a child in India when I slept in the open courtyard on hot

summer nights and stayed up not wanting to sleep so I could gaze at the stars. There was magic

in the stars, in the dark of the night, in the moon. Today I had experienced another kind of

magic- the magic of awareness. I had received the best gift possible, the gift of a lifetime. My

belief in eternal life was confirmed one more time. I could see the freedom we each have to

choose the incarnation, the space, and the environment to live out our Soul’s dream with

unparalleled genius. I had worked with this premise for many years, helping my clients connect

their chemistry and psychology with their history and roots and every time I would marvel at the


It was a fairy tale story that every child believes is true. Now, I could savour the flavour

of never having to face death or a dead-end. The journey is one of endless transformation. The

only loss or disconnect could be one of lack of awareness and even if that occurs, we only have

to look at nature, plants, animals, everything physical including our own bodies. There is only

one guiding principle and all things in the universe adhere to that same principle. I laughed out

loud as I thought of being ‘forever green’, each and everything in us is recycled, nothing goes to


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I was relieved to find this required no faith or even trust. I would often say to my clients,

“Don’t look outside but look inside for all the answers.” That which guides the external guides

the internal. There are not two Gods and one and only one principle governs all things big and

small. This is why I had established my inner lab to conduct my research. Everything about the

external was accessible from within my physical being. This brought me to the dream; if the

dreamer or the Soul is eternal, then so must be the dream.

The session with Melissa was more like a session with truth or with God. To know,

witness and experience together are a potent mix for alchemy and if you then throw in the Soul,

there is only awe and wonder.

I was back with Melissa enjoying her presence. After guiding her through a quick

meditation, for homework I gave her a vision, something simple and pleasant. Little did she

know, the playful vision was simply a way of stabilizing her in her current environment to

protect her from a premature awakening. I played it casual even when I was bursting at the

seams and after a few more practical suggestions, I bid the family farewell. I would share my

findings with Don and Julia at a more appropriate time.

As I closed the door behind them, I felt a rush of energy shooting through me. I almost

lost my bearings but made it to the sofa where I collapsed. Electricity was rushing through me

and although my mind was calm, my body trembled and shook uncontrollably.

Then suddenly everything stopped and came to a grinding halt. In the midst of a warlike

turbulence, there was a silent force overpowering me and soon I fell into a sense-free stupor. For

the next three hours I was lost, either in sleep or some other deep state. When I awoke and found

a mirror, I could not believe what I saw. Just then, my daughter walked in the door and gasped.

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“Mom, whatever happened to you? You’ve aged. You look ancient!” Poor Sona was in

shock. I looked ragged and old. My face seemed a skeletal structure with bones revealing what

was once a face. The three-hour sleep experience had had a severe effect upon my physical

body. I don’t know why or how it happened but because I could do nothing else, I retired to my

room to let it pass. My body still rocked in shockwaves.

I awoke late at night with a high fever. Over the next two days, both my eyes were

swollen shut with an infection. Despite using prescribed medications, I could not see properly

for more than ten days. When it finally began to clear, I forced myself to sit at the computer and

write. It was tricky at first but by the second day I began to see more and more. Getting the

energy flowing again helped heal the situation and restored my sight.

I was still in awe of the miracle of human will. I felt like a prisoner who had been locked

away in a dark cell for many years and then suddenly released. Metaphorically, the sudden

exposure to the bright light had blinded me; I was unable to see. I kept rubbing my eyes trying

to adjust to the bright light. My life-long work and yearning to see beyond the veil had finally

manifested and in such a magical way. Monica had asked for a miracle; she wanted to live again

to complete her promise. Her dream was granted and as it was, so was mine. Now, I knew.

“Ruby, does a Soul have the choice to select the life it wants?” Monica had asked during

one of our sessions.

“Yes,” I had answered. “Soul has the freedom to choose. It can select the best parents

and environment and conditions available in order to manifest its promise.”

Monica had listened intently. I could see a glow, a hope, and a birth of desire in her

before she closed her eyes and drifted away. For a few moments, there was absolute silence and

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I knew she had connected to something beyond. In that silence, I could feel the birth of intention

and a new life.

Monica’s story touched me in many ways. I realized as much as reincarnating is a

natural phenomenon just as death is, the Soul intention, promise, and strength carry forward

through the formless into form and is indeed a miracle. Death does not hold us back; rather it

provides a new opportunity to fulfill the promise with more experience, wisdom, and knowledge.

We move into a new possibility with a new outlook and a greater awareness. We know that

consciousness cannot die but seldom do we experience the flow of consciousness with full

awareness and when we do, we can see the unbroken chain of simultaneous occurrences.

These musings took me back to my own experiences and the five revelations I had of my

own past lives. It began with the hanged Indian woman, then the Korean marksman. Next was

the Japanese geisha dancer, followed by the old Chinese monk or healer, to the last one of the

young Tibetan boy in the monastery. Upon reflection, I could see pattern, intent, and purpose. I

wondered when I might have first set the intent and chosen the path to become fully conscious.

Although I had never before seen myself as a teacher, I was now seeing how I was

developing my life-long desire to manifest a recipe or a formula which would connect a person

to their Soul, the conscious mind and their enlightened state. I knew that all these states exist

within; it would be a simple matter to connect with them. I did not believe it would need much

work to create and connect with something already in the manifest. The connection would

become possible with a conscious mind. To me it was pure science, the science of the Soul, and

this science I would extend into the science of being. This would be my miracle.

“Ruby, you are one of the strongest Souls I will probably meet in this life.” These words

from a friend who was a poet, a word artisan, and a professor of English at the University of

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Calgary, were true even though I did not believe him at the time. I had a strong will with which I

was able to support my strong desires and I served one master, my Soul.

I often saw images of Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree with full awareness. He

tapped into an inner state; the enlightened state. He was seeking that which he already had, and

the happening, as spontaneous as it may seem, was pre-ordained; desired, intended, and planned.

He could not have escaped this experience even if he had tried; he was born with the genes and

the spiritual intelligence to be aware and enlightened. As death finds us, so too does


Buddha’s story reminded me of my own promise. As was the intent, so was my

experience. I could see the old stress melting away like hard ice from a mountain with the warm

light of the sun. I could not help but remember my time in Ladakh and Nepal. During my visit

to Ladakh, on the way up the mountain, I had been driven to a cave that had a monastery with a

Buddhist temple. The floor was lit with hundreds of tiny, clay oil lamps and in the midst of the

dark space stood a huge golden Buddha. After visiting the temple, I wandered off to the left.

There I found a smaller cave were at least forty young boys sat chanting and studying with the

monks. All of them had shaven heads and were wearing orange robes. From behind a thin cloth

curtain, I watched as they recited their chants. Fifteen minutes later they stopped and sat in

silence. Unbeknownst to them, I sat down on the cold floor and joined them in the silence.

Is there more? A thought then flashed through my mind. I wanted to retire, give up the

tiresome journey and return home. I wanted to rest in peace. This thought was soon replaced by

silence and I knew I had returned; I was home.

The experience of Monica and Melissa validated my research of many years. With the

new clarity it brought, I felt peace and was comfortable in my body and mind. Everything was

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falling into place and making sense. I realized that everything I had chosen was in line with my

Soul purpose, including the good and bad relationships and even their timing. Each person had

come and gone as per my Soul needs. My physical and mental health and even disease had

brought the people and states I needed. My depression and isolation kept me uninvolved and

thus available to pursue the spiritual path. My financial losses and gains offered me specific

choices that suited that time and environment.

I never had more but I had more than enough to indulge. I could see that my life had

unfolded according to my core beliefs. My morals, ethics, and religion stemmed from choices I

had made as Soul, as did my dreams, desires, inspiration, and motivation. My entire life plan

had been masterminded by my Soul and as a result, I had experienced the world in my chosen

way. This new and full awareness left me feeling elevated like a light bubble floating in space.

I lost all urge to write and even to talk about the book. I knew I was nowhere near the

end but it didn’t matter; for now I would give up the burden of meeting deadlines. I had not

realized how much stress I endured trying to fulfill what I believed to be my Soul Promise.

“The promise was with God,” I thought. “Let God be stressed. Why me?”

I relieved myself and gave myself the permission to have fun and to play. And for over

two and a half years, I did just that.

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Chapter Fifteen
Miracles and More Miracles

It was really touch and go.

“Do I ever have a cocktail for you!” were the last words I heard from the

anesthesiologist, shortly before the doctor began my hysterectomy in Calgary Foothills Hospital.

“Let’s go for it,” I replied, confident this surgery would be an in-and-out visit to the

hospital from which I would leave stronger than before. Was I wrong! Four months later, I was

still struggling with complications from the surgery. While it was true the surgery rid me of the

initial stages of cancer, five days later I went home with symptoms I did not have before. Soon

after that I lost total control and was overtaken by fear and panic along with pain, fever, cough,

hypertension, and more. It was not long before I was rushed back to emergency and re-admitted

with a severe infection. Then it happened again, and then again. Apparently, I was one of the

rare cases who incurred kidney damage due to medical error. And as if this was not enough, I

also reacted to the medication and painkillers resulting in inflammation of my esophagus.

There was more. While inserting the stent, the second surgeon managed to cut a hole in

my bladder which required yet another corrective surgery. All of these procedures were

accompanied by a cocktail of medications. The entire experience was just so bizarre. The drugs

in my system caused my brain chemistry to go totally out of balance resulting in a total loss of

control over my mind and body. Thanks to these drugs, my heightened awareness and ability to

“see in” turned into delusions as the other worlds blended into this one. I would look at a picture

and see the images in it come to life and begin to move. I could easily see the whole multi-

dimensional aspect of the universe and I thought I was totally losing my mind.

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While trying to cope with all this, I received much love and support from family, friends

and even from some wonderful women I had never met before. In addition to lots of prayer, they

helped me through Healing Touch, Reiki, and EFT. They took turns to be with me at all times, it

was like being in a room full of angels and spirit guides.

It was 2008, and I was now free of the risk of cancer and in that sense, I was lucky. As I

began to heal, I found much gratitude in the simple feeling of well-being. And, as with all

profound experiences, I was changed by this one. Somehow, I was left with a sharper focus and

was more attuned to what was occurring around me. I now anticipated events with a new kind of


But in addition to that, I became acutely aware of the timing and how every moment is

precious. This physical life can end at any unknown moment. I’d had absolutely no control over

any of these events as they unfolded. I, who was accustomed to caring for and holding others

through their pain, needed to be cared for and held through this pain. I was left with a new and

profound humility and the awareness of how little time we actually have here to do what we

came to do. How precious is each moment of life!

Horace’s Story

This saga certainly shook me before the infection finally cleared, and it was several

months before I began to find peace again. Then one day while I was at home recuperating, I got

a call from one of my favourite friends, Ted.

“Are you ready for some work?” he asked. “My friend, Horace, could really use your


Horace (not his real name) arrived at my place, accompanied by his wife and his in-laws.

He was a scientist and I soon discovered he had a way with words! It took him an enormous

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number of words and at least thirty minutes just to explain how he found me and we were still

nowhere close to the reason why. I realized that, as much as he wanted help, he was even more

in need of confirming some of his powerful experiences. But he was secretive and for some

reason fearful of revealing his whole story.

“Stop!” I finally interjected. “Horace, please just answer my questions.” I was direct

without sounding too rude.

“Horace, I don’t like what I see. It’s like you have been jolted with light and lost your

equilibrium. The shock must have impacted your power to observe. I have no doubt your

experience is true but I am afraid it has shattered your nervous system and it feels like you are on

the verge of a breakdown. I sense you are trying to protect your story but I need to protect you

first, otherwise we will lose both.”

Horace continued to share his truth. His experience was indeed extraordinary. He had

literally been hit by light. A few years ago, he narrated, while working in Hawaii, he met a

fellow scientist with similar interests and they became good friends. Joining forces, they decided

to work on some mind-boggling technological breakthroughs. During their long escapades, they

shared time, secrets, and more. Eventually Tom (not his real name) revealed his true identity. A

true genius with early PhDs when he was still very young, NASA had scooped him up for special

assignments. One of these was to communicate with light beings and for many years he did just

that. As he communicated with these light beings, he was able to access new intelligence in the

most unique ways. How this intelligence was used was kept secret from all except for the few

directly involved in this top-secret operation. If Tom were to reveal even the slightest bit of

information, it could mean risking his life.

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“Why are you telling me this Tom?” asked a bewildered but thrilled Horace. “Why, after

so many years of secrecy, are you risking everything you worked for by talking to me?”

“Horace,” replied Tom, “I already know too much. It’s only a matter of time before I am

removed; I mean taken out. My life is at risk. I need to share my Soul with someone before I

go. Besides, I want to manifest my dream of building this unique technology and the project I

alone have held close to my heart for so long. I trust that after me, you are the person who can

complete my dream. After I divulge some of the secrets and take you into my space, you could

become a channel for the light beings.

Tom then shared with Horace all kinds of proof including photographs. He also showed

Horace the diagrams and drawings of a new technology he was inspired to develop.

“Ruby, you must promise to never reveal this project and design to anyone.”

“I promise,” I replied. “You can trust me Tom. Your secret is safe with me.”

Now reassured, Horace began to share all he had brought to show me, including the

photographs with Tom at work. But by this point I needed no proof; I could sense the truth in

him. He told me Tom had offered him a job which was to begin in February but fifteen days

before his move he received a frantic call from Tom’s wife.

“Tom is dead!” she cried. “I found him in his rocking chair, bleeding. When his doctor

showed up they took the chair and his computer. Horace, Tom wanted you to have some papers

and I need to give them to you quickly.”

I could only imagine Horace’s shock. It was only a few months ago and Horace was still

suffering from anxiety, panic, and insomnia. His secret had become a huge source of stress, as

he had no idea how to manifest his joint dream with Tom. In addition, Horace had become a

channel for an unknown source and could not keep up with all the information coming through.

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Despite his new heightened intuition, he was going crazy and losing his balance. And, as if this

was not enough, based on what was coming through, he knew that somehow there was urgency

around the year 2012.

The plot got thicker when I noticed we were not the only ones in the room. I soon

realized I was engaged in a multi-dimensional communication with more than just Horace. Tom

had also joined us from the other side and was actively participating. Even though I was

accustomed to this type of communicating, there was something different this time. However, as

much I was curious, I had an obligation to Horace and his well being came first.

“You must stop all communication and channelling until you are stronger and more in

control,” I spoke firmly. “Horace, you have already lost the ability to switch off. You are on

24/7, and unable to stop speaking even if I ask you to.”

Horace’s wife, Kim, had been just waiting for this opportunity and was quick to interject.

“Horace, please listen to Ruby. She knows what to do and how to help us.” Kim then proceeded

to share some of the events and a series of synchronicities and guidance that was now coming

through, not just to Horace, but the entire family! There was proof and more proof.

Now I was even more sympathetic and committed to supporting Horace. I realized this

was no coincidence. Horace was meant to encounter Tom and become the channel for some

special information. It was part of his calling to fulfill his and Tom’s dream and share the unique

intelligence from the light beings.

“Horace, I want you to start to journal everything in third person and this will help

separate you from the event,” I said. “It will also help create balance and restore your observing

skill. In this way, you can be an effective channel without you getting in the way. As it is now,

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the information is filtered through your attached state so it becomes tainted with your personal


I then gave him a few visions to connect him to a peaceful state and clear his mind-space

and help him receive and transmit information rapidly and efficiently. This would not stress his

mind and body and yet maintain the flow.

“I promise to support you in your life’s work, but you must listen to me and follow all the

advice I give you,” I stressed. “In this way, you will not lose your mind but in fact, you will

enjoy the journey as you fulfill this unfinished task.”

There was much more but sharing it all was not my place. As Horace and I continued to

work together, I was able to confirm many of the messages he was receiving with my own skills.

Using the techniques I gave him, Horace began to sleep and be more restful, and regain his


He is writing his story as it comes through but always in the third person. Much of it

pertains to the upcoming events around the year 2012. At the time of this writing, his story is not

yet complete but he continues to turn to me for support and balance when he needs it. He

attended a few of my meditation circles and no longer feels troubled. I have recommended that

he publish his work as ‘fiction’. Those who are ready will see the truth in it.

After my first session with Horace, I was not shocked or even surprised, rather I felt like

a child in a toy store. I could sense a freeness and joyfulness. Something in me was happy and

fun; it felt like playtime. That night after my meditation, I felt a set of eyes staring at me.

Within five feet of me just near the foot of my bed sat a little light being.

Kishmish, My Light Being Friend

“Cute! When did you come?” I asked. I waited for an answer but there was none, only

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silence. “You must have come with Horace or Tom, or maybe you were always within me; I just

didn’t notice you before.”

I soon realized I was talking into silence; there was no body or thing there, just a

configuration of light that personified a vague image.

I didn’t need to wait any longer. “I will call you Kishmish. Yes, that will be your name

and you can be my friend.”

This was fun, no word, thought, or feeling, no thing, not even a being-ness. There was no

feeling of presence, not even awareness; no mind, no observer; just a visual. If I forced myself

to describe it I would call it a pattern of Lightless Light. Even the word intelligence would

weigh it down.

By the way, Kishmish is the Indian name for raisin, and a perfect fit for this cute thing. I

grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the following: “Thank you Kishmish, I have come through

the valley of darkness and today I welcome you as a new dream.”

Over the next few weeks I wrote several Kishmish notes. It was my way of connecting

with the absence of weightiness and the stresses of not just living, but being in human form. The

emergence of Kishmish, and me being conscious of it, was a sign of the changing times. I knew

that after this inner shift, the external shift was imminent. I was joyful and full of pride; I hung

onto my new friend like a new sense; with no taste, smell, or feel, not even memory, it was just

an experience. I had no urge to describe it any further than that. I loved secrets and this was one

of them. However, I did speak about it to my professor friend, Dr. NKO, in India who

commented, “Kishmish is the unexplored dimension within each of us.”

The Mad Cowboy

The Story of Howard and Oprah

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A few days later, I felt inspired to visit the books in my meditation room. Moving from

left to right, I looked at all the books neatly arranged in rows on the shelves. Rachna had colour-

coded them and it was interesting to see the blues with the greens and browns with the reds. I

giggled at the thought of how two authors sitting side by side on my shelf would never be caught

dead with each other. Gandhi’s Freedom at Midnight sat next to David Simon’s Enlightened

Sex. Aha! While one may not think so, even the most unrelated can be related. I had read

somewhere that Gandhi was making love to his wife while downstairs in the same house his

father was breathing his last. And what do you think Gandhi did when he heard the news? I was

not surprised to find these two books next to each other on my shelf. I noticed a few books out

of order and as I was pulling them out, one single book fell to the floor.

Picking it up, I noticed it was The Mad Cowboy by Howard F. Lyman. Inside was

scribbled a hand-written message, “Ruby, you have changed my life. I view you as my guide. I

love you now and always. Howard Lyman”. Closing the book, I sat down on the chaise lounge

and held it to my chest. A gentle breeze blew through the branches of the big tall spruce outside

the window and the sweet sound of twittering birds was just enough to whiff me back over

thirteen years to when I was first introduced to Howard.

“Good morning, Ruby! I have a favour to ask.” This was typical of my friend, Valerie.

She was one person who had unconditionally supported me for many years, wanting nothing in

return. There were times when she wanted a favour but it was always for someone else. And so

it was this time.

“Howard Lyman, the famous animal activist, a Montana rancher turned vegetarian, is our

guest speaker for Earth Save and the Vegetarian Society. He has just arrived from the U.S. and I

am right now driving him to the radio interviews. He has an important message to share and a

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fascinating story. I told him about you and he wants to meet with you. He has time before his

presentation; do you think you could see him?

“Of course, Valerie, bring him to the office at three. And if I like him, I may just make it

to the presentation tonight.” Although I was not much involved with Valerie’s affiliations, once

in a while I would accompany her for the love of food and my interest in inspirational matters.

However, I ended up consulting with several of Valerie’s guests.

At three sharp, I opened the door and in walked a tall, heavy, broad-shouldered man with

the sweetest smile.

“I am Howard Lyman and you are Ruby, just like I thought you would be,” he said.

“Valerie dropped me here; she has some errands to run before the presentation this evening.”

“Please come in, have a seat,” I said indicating the chair.

“Can I have a hug first?” He surprised me, so unlike my other clients.

“Of course,” I smiled and stood on my tippy toes to hug him. The hug was more of a

transmittance of tons and tons of gentle lovingness. I felt like a cub in the arms of the mother

lioness; it was a feeling of returning home. We sat across from each other for what seemed quite

a while, just looking at each other. Usually, silence like this can be a bit unnerving, but not this

time. There was a strange togetherness and we both knew we knew each other. This recognition

removed any distance or separation there may have been between us. There was nothing I

needed to say and instead Howard said, “We are Soul friends.”

Big tears flowed down his shiny, rosy cheeks as he held my hand and said in the softest

voice, “Who looks after you while you look after so many?” It was not a question but a deep


“God,” I said, shrugging my shoulders like a young girl. I could taste the salt in my tears.

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“True, I can feel it, my friend. We have known each other for a long time even though

we just met. I asked God for help and here I am.”

This was no session; it was a heart to heart talk between two Souls with a common

destiny. It was obvious that Howard was awakened and aware of his purpose and his promise

and like me, he also felt the compulsion to share his message with others. It reminded me of the

Soul groups who come together to create awareness and conscious understanding through

different mediums. They hold a space for and support each other unconsciously and

occasionally, consciously. Most of the time, their non-physical alignment and connection

remains unknown. I had experienced Souls who were silent conduits for others, even though in

my case, through meditative practices, I had prepared the space and alignment for my support

and silent workers to physically manifest and reveal themselves.

I had once written a story of a king who, proud of his continuous victories, became

ruthless and arrogant. When his son, his only heir to the throne, falls sick and is dying, the king

prays to God for his son’s health and has a vision. In his vision, he sees many hand folded in

prayers, these were his soldiers and their loved ones, beside this he sees that a group of sages

were supporting him silently. Their conscious connection to the source and the king had

provided the king with good intuition, power, and strength, and even what seemed like good

luck. When the king suddenly realized that behind his success was the hand of many others

including the sages, he then turned to God and asked, “Why Me? Why couldn’t one of these

Souls be in my position and I in theirs?” God answers, “Because it is your turn.” Remembering

this story is very humbling.

My coming together with Howard; the instant affection and love, the unconditional

giving and, of course, his physical presence and vibe were all signs that Howard had come to me

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for a reason and I needed to fully support him. Despite being aware of our connection, I did not

realize at that time what an impact our meeting would have and how it would turn the hands of

the cosmic clock to create events that would influence the environment and the lives of so many.

“First, I must tell you about myself,” he began. “I had everything; a big ranch, hundreds

of head of cattle, and much more. I wanted to expand and I did what I could to achieve success.

Everything was going well and then suddenly I was struck down. I became paralyzed from the

waist down because of a tumour on my spinal cord. I think it was God’s way of bringing me to

my knees and humbling me. The doctors said they would try to remove it but if the tumour was

on the inside of the spinal cord, the odds of walking again were less than one in a million. In the

twelve hour operation that followed, it turned out the tumour was on the inside of the cord. But I

walked out of that hospital and when I did, I was a very changed man. Before the operation, I

committed that the rest of my life I would do what I thought was right, whether I could walk or


“While in hospital, I had an experience that opened my eyes and afterward, I saw

everything differently,” he spoke with concern. “I could see the potential dangers to our

environment, humans, animals, and our earth. This is when I decided to warn others and inform

them of responsible choices. I believe that, one person at a time, we could make the change and

save our planet. I am only the messenger. I simply present facts so people can make informed

decisions; the choice is still theirs.”

Howard was very well informed; he shared his concerns, making special mention of Mad

Cow Disease. His fear was genuine; it could be disastrous if we did not make some conscious

changes. The urgency he felt to spread his message was making him restless and that is what

brought him to me.

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“Ruby, I could use some help. I have been travelling and sharing this message with small

groups in several cities. I’ve been using my own personal funds to spread the message but I only

have so much. And I don’t have much time; I know we are heading towards a crisis. I must do

what I can before it is too late.”

“I know what you mean,” I replied. “You cannot accomplish your mission this way. It’s

too slow. Let me see what I can do to get this message to the masses in the shortest time

possible.” Closing my eyes, I focused on Howard’s Soul script to see how I could best work

with his specific gifts. Within minutes my eyes popped open with the answer.

“Howard, I have an idea, a shortcut. It may be a way to get your message to millions of

people in one go,” I said. I knew it would be a bit tricky but I knew I could pull it off with the

help of some friends. But, before I got ahead of myself, I needed to check something. I was

giggling like a teenager just at the thought. I could hardly hold on to the secret.

Howard’s face lit up; he broke into a big smile, “What is it?”

Focusing inwardly, after a few minutes, I came up with the plan. I had consulted with my

friends, the elements, and with their help I felt we could spread the message like wildfire, almost

at supersonic speed to millions of people at one go.

“Howard, most people are not conscious that the elements have intelligence. I learned a

long time ago to communicate with the spirit of things, including the elements, and befriend

them. Once you set up and preserve the inner connection, the impossible becomes possible.

Without personal effort, what seem like miracles and wonders become part of everyday reality.

But, of course there are conditions,” I admonished.

“What conditions?” Howard inquired.

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“Your message must benefit everyone, I mean the entire universe, all things living, big

and small. You cannot hurt anyone or anything when delivering the message and you can put

down nothing and no one in order to lift yourself. However, after checking your Soul script, I

know you are honest and truthful and will work with integrity and that is why you will have the

support you need. I just needed to inform you of the conditions. Do you know what I mean?” I

proceeded only after Howard affirmed that he understood the conditions.

“Howard, I can create a special vision that will awaken the gifts you need to accomplish

your mission. You will have to experience the vision twice a day for one month. It does not take

long, all you must do is imagine and feel the story I will tell you. Once you experience the story

within, it will start to work for you. With this vision you will be heard and it will also create the

opportunity to speak with millions of people. I mean it will take you into the space where you

could reach out to millions at one go!”

Looking a tad concerned, Howard asked, “How will it happen?”

“Suddenly!” I smiled. “Of course, you will simply be the instrument. It will happen

through you but without too much money and effort. You will be at the right place, at the right

time, with the right person, and it will just happen!” Then with a smile I added, “Don’t worry, it

will all happen as scripted. There are no accidents in the universe. However, conscious

facilitation brings about results in record time.”

Howard listened with a smile.

“Ok, this may sound weird to you but to me it is not. I do this all the time for my clients

and I’ve always had positive results. The elements are my friends; I have a pact with them; I

never hurt or abuse them, and they, in turn, make anything possible for me. I only have to ask.

But you don’t actually need to understand all this. If you do your envisioning, your job will be

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done. My friends, especially air and space, will effectively and promptly transmit your message.

I suspect it will be through television and it might take three to four months. But you must

promise to convey your message gracefully. This means you will not pollute the air or space

with words or deeds that could hurt anyone or anything. Keep it clean and do it with respect and

soon you will have your wish granted.”

“I promise I will convey my message with respect. I am just making people aware and

offering them options and choices I believe will help all.”

“There is one more thing. This vision will be a one-time deal. There will be one

opportunity. You will have a short time to present your views, after which this opportunity may

not repeat itself. But from this will arise many smaller but effective opportunities. In other

words, you’ll be able to leverage this one for a long time to come.

“I understand,” replied Howard.

“Hmm, okay, I think I have explained it all. I’m ready to give you the vision if you are

ready to receive it.”

“Yes, I’m ready.” Howard closed his eyes and adjusted his posture for comfort. Then I

guided him through the vision. I could feel his state change as he entered a deeper Soul

dimension. The vision was intended to connect him to his vital core, memory, and presence

where he would access intelligence and other gifts needed to fulfill his purpose. The vision

would also align him with the elemental power for accelerated results. After the vision, I let him

soak in the “centredness” for quite a while. When he opened his eyes, there were tears rolling

down his cheeks.

“Ruby, you have the gift; God is with you.” He kept looking at me and then very

humbly, he said, “Please tell me what I can do for you. Is there anything at all that you need?”

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“No, Howard, nothing at all.”

“Do you promise to call me if you ever need anything? I will give you my numbers.

You can reach me day or night, any day at all.”

“Thank you Howard, I promise to call if I need anything.”

While Howard waited for his ride to show up, he gave me his numbers and told me about

his family. “I will bring Willow Jean, my wife, next time; she would love to meet you.”

Before leaving, he asked if I would conduct a meditation that evening after his

presentation. “I am honoured and I will be there,” I promised. I was excited. It is not always

that a presenter wants to share the stage unless it supports them.

That evening after his presentation, Howard introduced me as a close friend. I took over

from him and guided everyone through a meditation I had created just for that evening. I began

by saying, “Friends! Howard has shared his truth; it is time for us to experience ours. I will

guide you in the silent space within where you can be one with yourself, your own truth.”

When Howard left, he took with him a piece of my Soul; I willingly offered it to him

knowing he would go places I wouldn’t. It was my way of consciously participating in our

common destiny.

I heard from him a few months later when he visited Calgary; this time he brought his

wife along. And then after some time I heard the news from Valerie.

“Howard was on Oprah!” She was ecstatic. “You won’t believe how it happened and

what happened on the show. When Howard told her about how cows were being turned into

cannibals by eating other cows, Oprah said this information had stopped her cold from eating

another hamburger. Beef sales have plummeted and there is just a huge uproar over it all.”

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“Noooo! I don’t believe it,” I laughed out loud. “Wow God, I love the way you move

and shake the world without lifting even a finger. You are truly great!”

Ever since my awakening, I have been told by many clients and friends, “You have to be

on Oprah,” or “I had a dream, I saw you on Oprah.” And just like Howard, I wanted to share my

message with as many people as I could. I felt I was running out of time and energy and Oprah,

of course, would have provided the space for it. But it did not happen for me, at least not that

way. But Howard got what he wanted which was the opportunity to share his concerns with

millions at one go. I’m sure if Oprah knew what this one episode would bring, she would never

have invited him on. But had she not invited Howard and made those now famous comments,

she would never have experienced the trial, she would never have met the people she did, never

have learned the lessons she learned, never spent the hours, days, and months in a courtroom,

and so forth. All this and more resulted with this one episode. Howard became the instrument

for her to experience events and life-lessons, and in the process he too must have felt the heavy

handedness of the challenges in living up to his promises.

I love promising stories like this. They have passion, purpose, mystery, and challenge,

and they display all sorts of emotions - compassion, love, anger, and frustration, not to mention

greed. And more than this, there are millions of dollars at stake; money get redistributed from

one hand to another. There is no escape from stress and anxiety and, of course, no story is

complete without the victim, a saviour, the masses and a judge and jury.

The “Whodunit?” part is the most intriguing to me, a mystery that is seldom solved in

real life. It seems that each story has a beginning and an end, whereas in my experience, I could

not find the beginning or the end. All stories are timeless; they run concurrently in time and

space characterizing roles and content best suited for that particular time. The cast will change,

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so will the stage appearance, but the message will not change much from before. The elements

keep churning the same cycles in a periodic manner; the cause and effect illusion keeps building

the mystery, and we keep buying into the concept of time, and individualism rather than

experiencing the collective and the timelessness. Only when the veil of ignorance lifts and the

illusions are broken, we move shift duality and become one with the continuous play of


I am pretty sure this story too is not yet over. In time, another epidemic related to this

very subject will rise, the story will continue bringing the past alive, Howard’s message will

again be repeated, and Oprah will be quoted, but then these two would have been replaced by

other characters. It will be their turn.

Since then, I have met Howard a few more times. After he was on Oprah, his message

went out far and wide. He authored The Mad Cowboy and another book. I am sure a major

crisis of Mad Cow disease was averted and some regulatory measures have been implemented,

because of the exposure being on Oprah provided.

Once, he stayed at my home and again he asked if there was anything he could do for me.

My answer was the same, “No, but I will call you when I need you.” Up until now, I have never

once consciously reflected upon the story. But once I did, I felt a sudden expansiveness. I

realized the life I keep trying to live, I have lived. The message I wanted to share with others, I

have. Not in words or concepts but through energy, intelligence, awareness and purpose with

many others. Part of my purpose is conscious recognition of the Soul and the personal role in the

grand cosmic orchestration. Each story has an unknown factor and is often written off as fate but

fate too has a face. I see in myself and everything else. It is the face of God.

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Putting the book down, I sat quietly in contemplation. I realized my story would not have

been complete without their witness and quickly made a note to write to each of them. I wanted

to know if they were conscious of the effects of this single event upon their own self and others.

It is easy to get caught in the external and lose perspective of the internal. This would support my

story in revealing a greater truth, beyond our person.

I had the urge to internalize and attract a vision for myself. Soon, I started to experience

trillions of molecules floating in space; free and independent, tumbling, rolling and dancing in

themselves. Soon they were being pulled together by a magnetic force creating the illusion of

shape and form. I watched them come together and then disperse. I started to play with the

molecules; placing intention upon them and then letting go. With my will, I could affect the

movement and the configuration of the light molecules. The vision expanded, my awareness

shifted inwardly, and what was external was now being experienced internally. My being was

filled with light molecules floating freely throughout the space. Their movement was random

until I consciously willed them into shape; even gravity could not pull them down.

I realized that the conscious state is inclusive of will and power to hold the forces with

specific purpose and intention. The will of man falls weak unless it is aligned with the higher

will. And then only then, human state will become a sovereign state.

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To You, My Reader:

“Seldom, comes an era where the physical, mental, social, environmental, and spiritual align in
harmony with the stars and planets, and galaxies of universes open up converting possibilities
into reality, And that time has come: It is NOW!

There are two miracles. The first is the human being and the second is the purpose for

being human. Both of these miracles are creations of our super-conscious mind. We live in an

animated universe where everything is alive and alert; if we cannot see, feel, or experience it, the

handicap is ours. In every chapter of this book, I have shared a story and even though the story

is mine, it will connect to some part of your unique story. My intention is to make you conscious

of your entirety and take you into the forgotten world that bears your footprints and awaits your

presence. Once you enter that world, you will need no more. That is my promise.

At present, I spend my time between Calgary and Ambergris Caye, Belize, where I live

on a semi-private island backing onto a bird sanctuary. A long time ago, a Tarot card reader saw

me living on the ocean. “This is where you will find both the gold and your Soul,” she had said.

This has come to pass, although I found my Soul first, and then found the perfect paradise to

hang out in. And as for the gold, I found it just the way I wanted to. I have created a

breakthrough in the field of personal development and conscious evolution working with the

Soul perspective. I call it “Inlighten Me Experience”. This process works with the physical body

to awaken the Soul light and the force to know one’s true identity and the Soul purpose. It turns

on the switch to ignite will and power to create from one’s own gift of uniqueness to the fullest

potential with less stress and more success. Keeping in mind that every person dreams their

world be rich with loving relationships and healthy body and mind and that there contribution at

every level be recognized, this process offers more than one needs and desires. Dreams are

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unutilized potential, and this is evident to those who have experienced this process. This was my


Inder’s inspiration has taken form as Brahma Blue Holistic Oasis, a health and wellness

spa resort on the Caribbean island, the only Green Community on Ambergris Caye, Belize. This

includes building Green Communities for Green Living.

Oh, Yes! About Melissa - the other day I got a call from her mother. “Guess what?” she

said. I just completed a Vaastu course in Seattle and am ready to start my practice. The kids are

doing well and Melissa sends her love.”

“Thanks, let her know I love her too.”

“Michelle, can I please have a watermelon martini?” I asked the waitress, as I sat on the

side deck of the water-top restaurant, Blue Lotus at Brahma Blue, looking into the night sky.

The stars shone brightly; they were so close I felt I should reach out and touch them. My friend,

the night breeze, was fondling my big, brown curls, twisting and playing with them and I let it.

“You too, my friend are free to experience the lusty senses and life’s simple most

pleasures. You can blow or flow as per your will.” I think she heard my whisper.

Suddenly, the clouds spread their wings as they often do in the Caribbean summers and

big drops of rain fell from the sky. The thunder and lightning did not hold back; they too joined

the party.

“Miss Ruby! It’s pouring, please come in,” Michelle called, pulling me back.

“Michelle, the only thing missing here are big, juicy mangoes. This rain takes me back to

my home in New Delhi, where I lived as a teen. I loved sucking on mangoes in the rain.”

“Well then, Miss Ruby, here’s one for old times,” said Michelle from behind the bar, as she

handed me a large juicy mango.

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About the Author

Ruby Bedi has been called a spiritual guide, mystic, counsellor, and iconoclast. Since

1992 she has been transforming lives through dialogue, visions, past lives, meditation, and

intuition. Born in India, before age four she changed her given name to Ruby, announcing that

this name best fit her purpose. This was her first act of free will, she says.

With sharp intuition in her early years, she could connect and communicate inwardly

with almost anyone and anything. The Bedi household commonly played host to many sages,

yogis, and enlightened beings. Thus, growing up in the company of the wise, Ruby quickly

recognized that her way of thinking was unique and she was different from those around her. In

order to preserve this uniqueness, she set aside a space in her mind for reflection and

introspection. She later called it her “Mind Lab” and it became the birthplace of her insights,

wisdom, and self-realization.

In her late teens, Ruby relocated to Canada. Her avid search for truth attracted

experiences both challenging and dangerous, yet she continued on a self-prescribed journey with

a knowing that one day she would find the unique purpose and reason for her existence. She was

always aware she was being led, guided, and protected by a greater force. After a shattering

spiritual breakthrough in 1992, she closed the door to her retail business overnight and, for the

next decade, worked exclusively as a spiritual consultant, guiding individual clients on their soul

journey and conducting group meditations, workshops, and intensives.

Then in 2005, while channelling her energy into real estate developments, Ruby had a

second awakening that revealed to her the guiding insights for The Soul Promise, her second


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Today, Ruby provides guidance, meaning, and transformation to clients across North

America and abroad through private sessions, workshops, and mass healing events. She is a

popular radio and television guest and with her razor-sharp intuition and unique ability to

connect people with their Soul Purpose, she inspires audiences whenever she speaks.

For more information, visit

E-mail Ruby at:

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