Soul Kiss

heart Songs and poetry from the By Maisha White

This work is dedicated to:
My babies, the center of my joy. To Daddy, my first love. To Pharoe--as promised. I finally did it! And to Terrance, my G. O. D *smile*. So much of this was inspired by you, I thought it only fitting that your name should go here.

To all of you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for providing me so much love, inspiration, and hope.

The Place Of Healing
Triple black space surrounds my soul I am being recreated, finally being made whole All the broken pieces found All the hopes dashed to the ground Now restored The tears that I've shed made soft the earth Watered the seeds for my new birth I am in the place of healing now Leave me be I need no man standing over me I am in the triple black And I will not return Until the fire comes to burn All that is not needed Until the fire comes to burn What weighs down my soul Until the new skin is formed And I am made whole I am in the triple black space of re-creation And I will not return Until I am made new

My G. O. D.
Gomer Oz Dabar The essence of beauty, a G. O. D you are I see your sun sign shine through The strength to hold the world on your shoulders And wisdom to create What you will around you My G. O. D. you're an awesome brother Your voice. echos in my heart, Your words' vibrations shake me to the core And always leave me wanting more As I shiver beneath your touch You kiss my lips and I see Worlds created in your eyes Feel the earth quake between my thighs Your seed flow hot like lava From the top of your mountain I hear your voice commanding My G. O. D. will I obey Spend nights in longing, waiting To hear you say What I can do to be near you Once more.

Desecration
I was warned of him from times ancient The son of perdition The man of sin Who would enter my holiest of temples The abomination that makes desolate He would bring. Still I worshipped unguarded In the temple of my own self Lovingly caressed my graven images Sang songs from the Soul of I Reveled in my knowledge of sacred mysteries That were mine alone to share or to keep. Sometimes I let him commune with me We broke bread before the alter Shared from one cup the wine of laughter I told him my secrets, though not all That he might partake in the worship Of my Sacred Self, but Never unveiled in full. Greedily, he wanted more Demanded entrance when I would that he should stand outside I realized my mistake too late For though he had not known the full Of my sacred secret he Knew where it was hidden. With unrestrained force he Knocked down my door Laid waste the sacred altar

Tore the veil that hid my secret Entered by force into my mystery Broke my idols, the precious Graven images to my Sacred Self And installed himself God, Most High. This was the abomination that makes desolate Of which I had been warned Never again would I worship at my temple For now it was his and his alone The veil now was gone, The mystery he stole away. In my despair I cried out And Spirit heard me Drove out the Man of Sin From my temple Spirit rose up within me and I fought Fought to save my desecrated altar Fought the smashing of my idols Drove out the Man of Sin And his memory. Lovingly, I repaired the torn veil Hid, once more, my mystery Vowed to spirit I’d guard it More carefully Pieced together what remained of my graven images Repaired my altar to my Sacred Self

My Invisible Pain
You don’t see that I’m hurting Not because you can’t but Because you refuse You look into my eyes And pretend they are Not calling you Refuse to hear the voice Of my tears Refuse, you refuse To see into my soul My invisible pain, you say Is mine alone to bear. If my pain were ink And I could write with it my story Would the words scream Like a woman in travail And as you hear them Would the tears from my heart Fall down your face Like snow thawing down The side of a mountain? My invisible pain, you say Is mine alone to bear….

My Lion
Beautiful, passionate eyes Stare down at me I am overshadowed Being consumed In your fire A giant among dwarves You are my Mighty, righteous lion Coming to my defense When I’m persecuted Men retreat when You come near Yet, when you stroke Me gently with your Tongue I Can barely control The trembling of my body And I wonder Why others fear you I see your face in the sun And in the rain I feel your tears Your love I feel surround me As I swim the river deep The gentle ripples rock me Like your arms When I fall asleep In your embrace.

Time to Pray
My dreams they crumble Upon my head like The columns Samson Toppled over Falling apart all around me My life, my love My head spins out of Control I hear in my head My grandmother’s voice She’s whispering to me “Baby, it’s time to pray.” From the depths of My aching soul I call out to God And I think I hear I think I hear him From the abyss I’d Fallen into I Reach up, stretch forth My hands and I I feel him pulling me up

I Wanted To Be…
I wanted so badly to be your world Just like you were my sun I revolved around you with high hopes Only to find that I was just a moon A cold place, trying so hard to Absorb some light and warmth I vainly sought to be So much more to you than I was I wanted to be your star Like you were my sky Then I realized I was nothing Nothing to you at all Insignificant like a speck of dust On a sandy beach One of many revolving Around you like Meteors around the earth revolving Around the sun I wanted to be the reason you laughed The source of your joy So much more than I ever was to you I wanted to be So much more….

John Quincy Tipton
Don’t that sound like a politician’s name She asked through the tears I nodded my head yes Didn’t know what else to say So powerful was the grief in her eyes I wanted to hug her, wanted to cry If I never done nothin right in my life If I don’t never do nothin else right I did that I nodded my head yes Didn’t know what else to say John Quincy Tipton woulda been somethin Woulda been somethin else That valedictorian that The floods took away from me I nodded my head yes Didn’t know what to say How could I get inside her pain Reach inside her grief What words could assuage The loss of your only son I gave him a politician’s name She said between sobs That boy woulda been somethin

Somethin else, I tell you I didn’t pay to send him to school For him to be a nothin, you know I nodded my head yes Didn’t know what else to say Katrina, that’s who took away My son, my only son John Quincy Tipton drowned Seventeen years old, woulda been Somethin if he’d lived, you know You’da known that name I nodded my head yes Didn’t know what else to say With what words could I comfort A mother’s anguish She lost her only son Carried away with the flood.

Soul Kiss
Quivering beneath your touch I looked into your eyes and You kissed my soul Never before had such pleasure Met pain Brother could drive a girl insane Thrusting in and out like that Shaking to my very core I told you I love you and You kissed my soul My mind was in a whirlwind I saw Worlds created again and again As your body merged with mine Soul kiss Is how I describe this bliss This thing that I felt No other lover Could ever compare How did you make love to my body And somehow kiss my soul?

I Stopped Fighting
I saw the darkness Coming to envelop My being I ran to the light It overcame me I stopped running And I fought Wouldn’t let the tears Start flowing And I fought Wouldn’t let my heart Feel the hurting I saw the darkness Overtaking my heart I stopped fighting I stopped fighting And let the darkness Overtake my being I stopped fighting And let the darkness Begin its teaching I stopped fighting And let the darkness Start re-creating

I stopped fighting And found That the darkness Was, in truth The source of my inner light.

These Are the Words of My Father
My daughter, you do not have to look for me The soul of I that never dies Lives in you I have no beginning, and you have no end Eternal is the soul of I How then could I Stop being? My daughter, you do not have to look for me For I am in you, and you are In my spirit I carry you in my heart from times long past When the soul of I was called Ausar And you were Heru I have no beginning, and you have no end Eternal is the soul of I As long as you are, I will never stop being

He Has Said
Just as animals beget after their own kind Gods produce gods with intelligent minds And yet men die like dogs on the streets Cut down in youth for the birds to eat Why if he said that ‘ye are gods’ Do you think it blasphemy to call you such? We are the children of the Most High God Think it not odd That I should call you by your name To call you other would be a shame He told you who you are, now you must aspire To be the God you are before you expire. I can hear his voice say, ‘Rise Up! People put away the cup Of unrighteous new grape wine Pick up the living water while there is time I hear his voice say, “Rise Up! Put away iniquity My children, my love Return to me.”

He has said that we’re children of the Most High And yet daily we die Unknowing, unaware of who we are In the midst of abundant food we starve Perishing for lack of knowledge Even as more of our children go to college Who can save us from this death Who can give us knowledge, is there One left Who has not died? And he has said that ye are gods….

Soul Cries Out
I’m standing in church Tears falling wetting my robe From the depths of my soul I Cry out: I need Thee, Oh I need Thee! But it’s not to a distant, Invisible deity that I call It is to you my love that I Cry out: Every hour, I need Thee Wondering why it seems You do not hear me My body quakes and voice Cries out louder: I need Thee, Oh I need Thee! And yet you stand Afar off, away from me I stretch forth my arms And you move, ever further As though you do not hear As my soul cries out

I Am That Sister
That sister who'll pray for you when Everyone else has forgotten Who'll love you more when you're feeling unworthy Who'll spend every waking moment Thinking of ways to please you I'm that sister, you know the one The one you can go to when everyone else Walks away. The one whose arms you find When you just need a place To rest your weary head Yeah, that sister Who you never appreciate Until one day I decide I don't want to be that sister Anymore Maybe I have needs that are not being met Maybe I want to rest my head sometimes On shoulders broader than my own Maybe I hurt in places that No one else can find but you Maybe this sister needs healing too I am that sister Always there for you There won't come a time when When I change my mind Though the thought might For one fleeting moment Occur to me.

You Are
You are the lyrics to the song in my heart the voice that resonates in my soul you are. when i think of love, i remember you holding me near when i think of love, i remember your voice whispering in my ear when i think of love, i remember only you. can't imagine life without you my breath, my soul, my thoughts you are the realization of my unspoken dreams.

Freeform Love Song
Deeply felt Every touch, every kiss Love is bliss On my lips Your name, your frame Beautiful to me you are My thoughts, refuse, to be contained By words when I when my when I mind on you It be strange Strange thoughts want to Be where you are Knowing, inside knowing The impossible distance I soul would have to Cross Knowing the rivers drown Knowing I die inside Longing for you still.

Homeless Heart’s Home
One day, after work, I went with a co-worker to an art festival In a park in downtown ATL There I saw paintings, but they didn't move me, Nothing the artists did spoke to me at all I felt as empty as when I got off the train Figured it was a waste of my time I shoulda gone home, I said, rolling my eyes but then... Girl, do you hear that? My friend said, Hear what? Hear that. Let's go. A drum beat moved me A drum beat drew my soul I had to go and see what was going on We ran as quickly as our feet would go Ran to the sound that drew my soul She trusted me, though she could not hear it. There he was Sitting in the moonlight All alone playing drums Calling me forth And for the first time In a long time I danced For the first time In a long time I had found my rhythm

My girlfriend thought I was Losing my mind She didn't realize I had Found it right there She watched me dance in In the moonlight And amidst the drums And the clinking of people's change Who had stopped to look I found my rhythm It was slow It was fast It was whatever the drums said. It was getting late And my girlfriend had to go home I was already home, But I had to go to my house You know Then I said good bye To my drummer man And said I'd be back Again tomorrow. I returned the next night Sure enough, he was there And where else would he be He had no house to call home No bed, save the bench behind him To lay his beautiful head Nothing to call his own Save ragged clothes and A set of drums

We laughed we talked He played I danced And in the drum beats I found my rhythm In the drum beats I sang a song And in his eyes I found my home We spent Saturday together Sunday church we spent in Each other's arms I found God in his eyes I found the highest high In his heart and I Made mansions in my heart For him. I didn't ever want to leave When the sun went down He played and I danced And the people stopped To see us make love In the music The people stared At us and my soul was naked And for the first time unashamed. Then one day I swear I was trying to get to him But I got distracted By a fine young brother With skin black as the night And teeth white as a cloud

He flashed a smile And I guess I forgot Where I was going I went with him that day And the next And the day after that I remembered that My lover drummer man Was waiting for me under a tree I ran to him He'd been waiting for me Two days or three Lost track of the time I did I said I was sorry And he looked into my eyes And deep into my soul And realized That I had been untrue It broke his heart And broke mine too. Never did hear the drum beat Again Never danced in the moonlight Again My heart was homeless once more Never saw my drummer man again And there I lost my rhythm.

Drops of Sunshine Flood The Soul Of I
Drops of sunshine flood my soul I'm carried away on the winds of change I'm caught up in the whirlwind Spinning out of control Awake to find joy unspeakable Awake to hear laughter I'm drowning in drops of sunshine I'm swimming in the love light I love light I emerge from the night, hesitantly Wonder when the shadows will Reach out and grab me I am living in the light I am living in love I am dying, slowly

I am not knowing Drops of sunshine flood my soul Deceitfully making me optimistic I'm floating above the cares of the world Gravity is pulling me down Drops of sunshine carrying me To the ground Drops of sunshine Betray me The reality is I'm being consumed by the darkness

Drops of sunshine flood my soul My heart flies free I'm out of control My love seeks me And I flee

And I find myself in darkness Drops of sunshine flood my soul I find myself in a springtime daydream Things are not what they seem I awake to reality, it's bleak and I scream They take me away I get carried away I'm sedated and back to the daydream Hope I can stay Drops of sunshine flood my soul I'm being consumed by the darkness.

Shine Forth
Evening finds me deep in the valley Enveloped in the darkness I sing and my voice Becomes the light I am my voice I Am light And the darkness Comprehended it not. Word wrapped in flesh I am Love is light personified I Am love and love is all God is Love and Love is all I Am God and God is Love And Love is all I Am All I am meditating in the depths of the valley Allowing spirit winds to pass Over around through me I breathe in life Life breathes in me Breath becomes a vehicle Transports me ever upward Elevated above all troubles My voice shines forth I then stand still and know That I Am The essence of beauty The essence of life

Light personified and I am good. I sit at the foot of the Holy Mountain Drink cleansing water from the River flowing down I am the river I am the mountain I am love and love is all I Am All. Shining forth in the realization That I Am Divine I light my own pathway to walk through Knowing that I have all that I need Because I AM All that I need. And the darkness Comprehended it not.

My Soul’s Deep Longing
I approach my love slowly But there is no fear in my hesitation For I know that his kisses Will be my soul's salvation I wonder am I worthy, Even to be loved by this one But my fears are assuaged When he bids me come Closer. He eclipses the light His smile blocks the moon I feel him deep inside me And I fear that soon I will die in his arms Become nothing in his embrace Suddenly comes the thought That perhaps his face Will be the last thing I see. I am breathless, I am shaking Inwardly I am burning With each deep thrust he Fulfills my body's yearninig for love to call my own A smile that is all mine My desire will be the end of me I feel my body merge with time Eternal.

He shudders gently and releases Liquid sunshine, thick and hot Fills me with his energy I feel awakened where once I was not I know not whose voice Said I love you first My body was still reeling From his liquid sunburst. Still shaking, I try to stand I feel his love running down my legs He takes my hand, bids me once more Come closer, he begs I cannot believe what has already been And now he wants to fill me up Again And again And once again I swear my desire for him Will be my end.

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