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He was positive. And I did. Not wanting it wasn't an option, in fact, it never even occured to me, because his confidence filled the air and seeped into my head. I go to the door confident that the person there is interested in what I have to say. Confident that they want to get involved. Positive that they are going to write me a $60 check and be happy about it. And most of the time they do, because it never even occurs to them to do otherwise.
Second rule of manipulation: Use Strong Language When I go up to the door I say "I'm out here tonight working to protect open spaces and drinking water quality." Working. Sometimes I say Fighting. Sometimes I just say "I'm out here protecting open spaces." Never, under any circumstances do I say Trying. Trying is a weak word. I'm not trying. Trying implies to possibility of failure. In the words of Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try." Strong language is key. When I interviewed for my job, my boss Peter said to me, "When we hire you, you will protect hundred of acres a week." You WILL. Not try. I WILL. Strong language. Peter is the master. When I went out for an hour by myself for the first time "You are going to get 10 contacts, 5 signatures, and 3 contributions totaling $30." You ARE going to. I am going to. Not try, WILL.
Third rule of manipulation: Nod Excessively It's amazing the power of a head nod. If you nod while you are talking to someone, they will nod back at you. Try it some time. Nod 3 or 4 times a sentance. Nod with every other word you say. Nod til you feel like you have whiplash. You'll feel silly at first, but you will get results. It's almost impossible not to nod back to someone whose head is bobbing like a pigeon, and they end up agreeing with you before they even know what you are saying. Peter, at the end of my interview, "This is (nod) the job (nod) for you (nod), right (nod)" And my head just bobbed right along with him. "Sure is (nod nod nod nod)!"
Because once you realize that someone you are talking to is doing it. I "nonchalantly" end up doing the same thing. If I cross my legs. Standing up for no reason. right. The words I use make it sound like a question. So I couldn't say no even if I'd wanted to." It wasn't a question. he leans forward. Peter crosses his a few minutes later. You can meet that goal tonight. check. "This is the job for you. or as we say in the office "canvassing you" you can canvass them right back and make it a game. I'm not asking. It's the same thing at the door. check. Fifth rule of manipulation: Be a Body Language Mirror This one is the most fun. check. If I lean forward." Notice there is no question mark at the end of that sentence. you are just like them. fight the cause in your name and win.Fourth rule of manipulation: Never ask questions. it's fun to see how much he'll copy. "We have a household goal of $60 once for the year. but my tone sounds like I am stating a cold hard fact. Sounds like bullshit. right? You must feel the same because you look the same. it's a lot harder to say no to a fact. Whatever they do. Biting my lip. but it works. . and that is weak. Go back to the way Peter "asked" me if I wanted the job. That "question inflection" is called upspeak. right. check. You can say no to a question. I tell them they can. Sometimes I don't think he even knows he's doing it. It makes the person feel comfortable with you. We only come around once a year and $60 gives us $5 a month to budget with. You have a lot in common. but make it seem like you are Never never EVER do I ask someone to make a contribution. Playing with my earing. That's because my voice doesn't go up at the end. Once I catch on what he's doing. I mean. But they THINK I am asking. I tell them they will. Sitting indian style.
. What does it have to do with big nose. They don t want to hurt their girl s feelings. etc. Sometimes we even laugh at your effort to make it funny. can t wait to help us out with whatever we need. A Your jokes are hilarious! We know men want us to laugh at their jokes. and are taught to be so. So what we can do is pout. and when you say you d pay. Whenever it sounds like a punchline. It s too intellectual . Going shopping with you for us means. and they say Awww. that s so nice of you! Of course there are a considerable number of us who d genuinely need something when go out with you. We d laugh even though we have no clue what you re talking about.Take me out shopping I used to laugh at female profiles on dating websites that say I love shopping because I know a lot of them mean I love shopping with your money . we d faintly say no. That girl has such a big nose. no sex tonight . Israel. feel better about themselves. what do I do? Should I keep waiting? It does surprise me that a lot of men think it s cute.. you d insist. It s as simple as that. is just too blunt and not Thai-like for us. Get you involved a little and give you the ego boost you needed at the same time. If we pay for our own things without hesitation. Our famous puppy face comes very naturally for us. you pay. as a result. We d need you opinions on what looks good on us. The inexperienced ones of us would just look at you expecting you to pay. but that s not the point. knowingly or not. or tell us how much it costs to take BTS from one point to another. either that or New York! (Mean joke. we ll laugh. We can t get around with you giving us directions. shoes stores. we still don t understand. and New York anyways? Oh well. . You re the man and I m helpless We know consciously or subconsciously that there are men regardless of race who want to feel in charge. so it would not be womanlike to be forward with our wants and needs. You d feel you have the taste and we trust your aesthetic judgment. The subtler ones know you might not feel comfortable if we do that so we d reach into the purse slowly. You point out to a white girl passing by and say. Now at the cash register we may act differently from person to person. you re talking too fast we don t catch the word. I shop. The point is to make you feel you re a great helper and we appreciate you so much. I m sorry) Hey. Don t you ever notice that we never needed anything until we re in your presence? There s not much to do in Bangkok other than going to malls anyway so its very easy to innocently wonder by cosmetic counters. And even if we catch the words. Guys fall for this trick all the time. The negotiations along the lines of No new shoes for me. And now you re impressed with us. I m waiting for a GIRL friend and SHE s not here yet. We may call you just to ask.we ll just laugh when we get a cue from you. We d call them for stupid stuff like directions. like what our sisters in the West may come up with. It s starting to rain. She must be from Israel.. you might want to consider marrying us! Thai girls are not confrontational (until we lose it and start to throw tantrums!). That s easy. You re foreigners and we re local. We are expected by both Asian and Western men to be submissive.. These men.
Make sure it is genuine. we may 90% of the time mean the opposite. You need to do it in such a way that they are unaware that you are doing it. 1. We d be on pins and needles. Step3 The objective is to get on someone's good side. here. crying have failed to work wonder. You can rest assured that we d increase our ballistic level. If you don t pick up the calls. Manipulating someone to do your bidding is a little trickier. just like how girls in a Japanese cartoon would. After a while where you feel comfortable that you are trustworthy you can begin to experiment.5. It s simple behavioral psychology. Why would someone willingly do something that you want them to do? Maybe you could do it in such a way that they are not cognizant they are doing it. If you are quiet for 24 hours. If those SMSs are not responded to. but would never do it again.5. After a while when we realize we re not getting you for real. the better it is for your self-respect and sanity. You should let them think that you are a person that can be trusted. 6. It s a universal gender issue. it is being a bully and I despise bullies. It simply means you d better come for us. Step2 How would someone attain that? Is there some magic formula? Is it in someone's disposition? It could be a little of everything. We get influenced so much by Japanese cartoons. The sooner you decide you re not going to put up with this crap. Negotiation . I m going home! When all the pouting. it doesn t necessarily mean we re leaving for good. we still have this hardball I m Leaving card. Manipulating someone is easy. 3. No N-word. We really love this trick because it s a great indicator that tells us how well we have you wrapped around our fingers. sulking. . we d move on. If we show you the signs at 5 points on our Ten-Point Ballistic Scale before you get back to us. the next time around we ll do 5. When we get up and leave our apartment key. Being forced to do something against your will because someone is making you do it is wrong. and keep increasing. Build up a rapport with the person and compliment them whenever necessary. The first rule of thumb is that being pushy is not manipulation.) Gaining someone's trust is essential.That s it. one time I did. (I want to state here that I am unequivocally nice and never do something that could harm someone else. 6. Surprisingly to some. Well. That is the ultimate goal of manipulating people to do your bidding. we d start our phone calls. When we say one thing. Maybe we pulled it in a wrong way? Maybe we somehow pushed the wrong button along the process? What if you take the message literally and don t call? What if you come across another girl when we re gone? All these maybe s and what-if s would just drive us crazy. and that s when we demand of you what we want. but you just need to make sure you totally ignore us and be consistent. 2. then we d start to think there s something wrong with our trick. You re supposed to call us and want to talk about what s wrong. we d go ballistic. We d start to bombard you with our SMSs. we do share some traits with our Western sisters. The time you take ignoring our behaviors before coming for us for a talk tells us to make sure we do more next time to get what we want.
). one of simple ones.. Ten hands. the wording must make them feel important enough so they will do it.... . One man ten fingers on hands. Well. I do not want someone continually asking me to do something and I would get suspicious real quick. Flatter them if they are knowledgeable. Make sure you still are friendly with the person and even help them out if they need something. To start with. called conditioning by association. let me ask you a question . How many fingers does the man have on his hands? Good. Step4 The first experiment should be an easy one.4. To manipulate people is easy. If they are not. I wanted to see if I could make two people get into an argument for the sheer and utter hell of it. the answer will be "ten" and "one hundred". I am not suggesting anyone go further than that. the first answer is perfectly correct. Step5 Then you could do a step further.and I want you to answer it FAST. Getting your way is fine as long as the other person is not adversely affected by it. 5. make sure you have some cash on you and do a little research to see how much a particular clu b costs that you admire. And then some smart a. flatter them anyway by telling them that they are probably a natural and not even know it. I was a great deal different back then and I was trying to see how far I could push two people without them realizing I was the cause. Speak passionately and reverently. I am right in the middle of something. 7. Would you (Not could you. Automatic behavior and shortcuts. 6. make sure you are short two or three dollars. Needless to say I did it with ease and it really scared me I had that much influence on people. You could ask them to go to a golf store after work and ask them to help you pick out a club. Chances are the other person will supply it.you still can be manipulated . Step7 Twenty five years ago I employed that strategy to a deeper degree. When it is time to go to the register. To this day they are still unaware it was me who caused their disagreement. What happened here is a shortcut. just do not do it for the wrong reasons. you are probably wondering how you could manipulate someone in that scenario. I know you are extremely busy and the boss is on your ass but I am having caffeine withdrawal really bad. When you get there ask them questions to see how much or little they know about the sport. Tell the person how much you admire the club. "Hey Tim. How many on ten hands? If you are like most people (and if not . I would say.perfectly wrong.. So. However. I always do this sort of mental exercises before the serous staff begins. If it is a co worker. While that may seem mean and cruel. For example. Step6 By now. and the second . ask that person if he or she would mind getting you a cup of coffee. but would you) get me a cup of coffee?" Nine out of ten times (Unless he or she is a jerk) that person will do it.. if I had built up a co worker trust and want to experiment with a cup of coffee. guy came and built a trap.
Thank you. Thanks. please .. you may notice. no. described in a wonderful book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. Anyway. So it is possible to do a small favor and to ask for a big one in return. Should I do same amount of "good" in return? Not necessarily. or people will dislike you".. Or this "I dedicated all my life to you"... that we have built and instantly used an anchor. Something like "always return favors. which means you learned it when you were a child.. while some of them are already there. Would you consider making a small contribution. . one of many. I do not. Have you tried a free sample in the super store? Wait a minute! This person just gave you something for free ...it can be qualified as a favor! What can you do in return? You can buy a box of whatever he is selling. where is a manipulation? Think Coca-Cola...this is for you. right?) And then . some of them can be created (we show a video clip with young people drinking Cola and having fun). In your mind. Example? The following example is an illustration of so-called reciprocation rule. you owe him a favor in return". OK. No. This is a "preinstalled" rule. it can be used to manipulate people."Would you like to buy one?" (by saying "no" you will refuse to return a favor). the "rule" does not mention the size of a favor. I would like to present you this flower from our local Krishna society. but you don't need to know NLP to read this text. (now you owe me a big one). compare this: "Would you like to buy this overpriced corn flakes?" To this: Would you like to try this free sample? (It is not polite to decline. What does a beautiful young man (girl) drink? What? Milk?! Get out! There are few types of mental shortcuts. Now.. And of course. A very powerful belief that almost no one questions. By the way. Installed by our society and ready to be used.. The way this rule works is "if someone does you a favor. let me help you with your bag".If you are familiar with NLP. Or this "Here.. Just like this one: Hi.
Do you remember. if I see an article on the stock trading written by Warren Buffet himself. Consider driving a car. deepening. The world is a very complex place. But if you know.you just do it. attached to your wrist". lets take a look at the way we think. I will probably believe it more. it is. and you need to make your subject to stay still. that your subject is in the military.. but as I promised to avoid it. And they are much more powerful than anything you can imagine. We need shortcuts. all you need to do is to dress like a general (of the same army!). Instead of "when you see the green light. There is no way for us to always keep in mind all factors we need. We just do them. rapport building. Now.. called "hand levitation". I would speak about generalization.. that works most of the time . described in other texts on this web site. It might or might not work. And now comes the important part . Imagine. You can use pattern interruptions. for now you probably already know why I call these types of behavior "automatic". look around. A trick. A shortcut. if it incorporates "tricks" like the reciprocity. if it is true or not? Are you going to the library . You do not have to build certain types of responses. No thinking involved. Until the same shortcuts are used in the commercials.go". They are already there. restart your car and carefully pass the intersection" you are just doing "when you see green .to research the subject? No. You can go with "close your eyes and feel an air balloon. A shortcut. or you may just ask "what time is it?" And the person's hand will go up. and with minimum efforts. Of course it makes us vulnerable.we usually do not realize that we are using shortcuts. . slow down. conversational trance techniques. deletion and distortion by now.. A manipulation. Automatically. Don't take me wrong. looking straight forward and not responding to other noises in the room.. Perhaps a metaphor may help.every time . how do you decide. They are very valuable. But what does it have to do with shortcuts? If I was using NLP language.until someone drives on red and hits your car.. except for your voice. How? By using shortcuts. then if the author is a chairman of the local folk music society. you are using shortcuts again. you had to pay attention to everything? And now .There is a very important difference between this technique and techniques related to NLP and Hypnosis. but you do not need to know hypnosis or NLP to use the manipulation technique described above. OK. to walk in the room and to say AT-TENTION! Want more? Let's do a hypnotic trick. when you read an article in the newspaper. What? It is not the real thing? It is a trick? Yes. A good hypnotic technique can benefit. For example. that you are a hypnotist. when you were learning to operate this thing. They help us to make decisions fast.
The judge doesn't have time to get to know you better. Once he was selling shoes . but it is a different story). At this point in the process. Let's place the sign (as they do in newspapers when selling life insurance) and INCREASE the price. Step 1: Gage the importance of the decision. First you must decide whether or not you can feasibly make the decision for the person in question. and customers know that they came to the right place for a great bargain. But the trick still works. A politician (a man) will be more successful if he is taller. Make small talk. to tell the truth..so it is a good idea to know it and to shave. you know what the word "sale" means. Statistics shows that more nice-looking guy will get a less severe sentence in the court of law . and be sure to tell them exactly what they want to hear. Guess what? He sold all shoes in one day (and then had to refund most of them. Compliments never hurt. Show sympathy towards the person making the decision. Remember. as the mater of fact a taller candidates won 90 percent of president elections in USA since 1900. He wanted money. The salesman will sell you much more (junk) if he presents it in a particular way and in particular order. right? You place this sign in front of the store..unconsciously he is using a shortcut (beautiful people are nicer).For example.. You might find.quite mediocre shoes.that's why they are so important. friendliness is key. Let's experiment. the simpler it will be for you to pull the chair out from under them and get your way. and that part of you agrees with the choice they are leaning towards. Shortcuts are everywhere . Step 2: Sympathize with the person. You obviously aren't going to be able to trick a person into falling in love with you and having your children. the more likely that you can change the outcome to benefit you. the smaller the decision. People will still come! Try it. A friend of mine owns a store. especially if they are specific and not your run-of-the-mill: "You are beautiful" or "You are smart. so . so he put the profit margine at 40 percent.. that (as any dictionary would confirm) the true meaning of the word "great" is "very big". . but you can manipulate them into having sex with you! You will need to find out how important the decision is to the person that is making it in order to determine the weight you can have in their choice.. and to wear a nice suite. Shop around to get an idea of what life insurance costs and then compare it to the "great price limited time" offers in newspaper. It didn't work. Then he made it 400 percent." Step 3: Tell the person a convincing lie.. If you can trick them into thinking that you feel for them.
The way this rule works is if someone does you a favor. When this step is completed. Shame. 6. intellectual power. to put people into one up. Step 4: Break the person's will. You have to make people believe that your opinion will matter and it will not put them in any trouble. People always go for what has been proven right (especially by a reliable person). and now you owe me position. Use physical. need it or want it. you need to start tilting the scales in your direction. Consider the Weight of the Situation. It is always easy to alter a simple condition. Use Your Power Wisely. You just have to bea good speaker and then everything comes right behind after. Make People Insecure About Themselves. Inspire People to Get Their Support. If you can trick people into thinking that you feel for them and that you stress the importance of their choice. 1. Help others even they do not request it. you can sneak in a terrible lie run under nose and they will never expect it. 4. 3. This lie will become the basis for the rest of your argument. What you just have to do is to project that you are a forward authority in any given matter. the person should be questioning the way he looks. Blame Others. it would be easy for you to modify the decision without them fully knowing that you are changing the whole scenario. you owe him a favor in return . You will use this technique to collect for past favors and make someone responsible. And if you are just simply good at that. and in doing so you will distract them from the issue at hand and put their mind in another place while you swoop in for the kill. Sympathize With the Person. threats etc. 7. It often helps to criticize your victim's weakest physical or mental attribute. If the decision-maker starts his statement with This will not work! or I m bad at this! you have all the chances to butt in your opinion that is supposed to stand above the one he currently holds. This is the most important step in the process. I am right and you are wrong position. Unsolicited Helping or Rescuing. so make sure it is a good one. smells. you already have the world in your hands! 2. . It is here that you have to make the person insecure about themselves in order to make your opinion stand above the one that they hold. and especially the validity of his opinions. return to step two and cover your ass with more lies. 5. Your goal is to be in the it is all your fault or after all I have done for you and now you treat me like this position. If somehow the person realizes they are being lied to and they call you out. Scold. Now that you've softened the person's resolve by massaging their ego. acts.At this juncture. The goal is to be in the after all I have done for you. The goal is to make them owe you. verbal.
9. Politicians use body language widely in elections to manipulate people. 3 Meet up. Plan your conversation out in your head..8. Find Weak Points of People. about the other day. without thought and out of habit.." or try "not that it's a huge deal. hey. 2 Plan to meet the offender one on one. Other people exist to serve you. 3. but do not act upset. people lie to themselves and others incessantly. Keep your emotions on a tight leash.. give them nothing without taking. malicious or benign. you can insincerely apologize for being out of line.. 4. I almost forgot." . 1. 4 Bring up the problem casually in conversation. Never reveal information or tell the truth without having an objective. You don't want to scare them away! 3. whether consciously or unconsciously on their part. and pretend nothing is wrong. Most manipulators use this technique to manipulate women to have sex with them without any resistance which is dishonest. I wanted to ask you real quick about the other day.. but about the other day. There are certain positions of head (bending it to the right side) and body which creates powerful manipulative effect. 2. Observe reactions carefully. act normally.. because it's not. too. 4. Anyway. 6. Use them to learn how others manipulate you. Appeal to emotions. "So. but never fully believe them. This is the most important: if someone more intelligent or clever than you catches on to you. remember that you can manipulate their dumber associates and use them as leverage against them. You can do it. 2. Try to consider what s/he will be saying in response to you. 1 Determine what the offender has done wrong this time. Steps 1. Never keep a promise unless it is useful to do so. 5. Don t underestimate this. Body Language. you can use this n other i situations." or "Oh. If by some off chance your target uses reason.
you can bring this time up then! See how it works? 7. was it something I did?" 10. then speed up just a bit. 9 Make the other person feel the way you felt. Every now and then. 6 Explain other things this person has done to you in the past to let you down in a similar fashion. You want to draw them in and make them really pay attention. 10 . Don't raise your voice. because if the time comes for a guilt trip. very briefly. calmly and coolly. Don't make it seem all that bad at the beginning. Now look down for three seconds. Quickly shift your focus from their left to their right eye. 9. they don't deserve a guilt trip. look them in the eye again.5. do it slowly at first. (If it is their first time screwing you over. while you glance left or right for a few seconds. Casually make eye contact again within the next ten seconds. 8 Master the art of "ping-pong-eyes". Make it seem as though their action will utterly change the way your life will continue. Ask them questions like "has anyone ever done this to you?" or "is this something you do to all of your friends?" or try "I didn't expect this from you. and don't let them forget this is not the first time they've made you feel this way. yet!) Don't forget this offense. Bring up the past. take in a little sigh. that starts an argument and this is a guilt trip. They're two different things! 6. 8. then eyes back to the floor. You are trying to make them feel as though you will get your questions answered if you search their eyes enough. Starting off too harsh could make them stop listening and start thinking about what they're going to say. 5 Tell your side of the story. Slowly start to add the details. 7 Keep eye contact to let the other person know you are serious. and you don't know if it'll ever be the same.
Don't let up. you cannot fix the past. . You cannot turn back time.. 13 Be satisfied with what you get. Just learn from this experience and let your relationship grow because of it. 13.. First.now when you need it.so it must truly be bothering you. 12." or "I've put myself in your shoes and I figured this is what you'd tell me. Be ready for these responses and let him/her know you've thought about them already by saying things like "I knew you'd say that. s/he will feel as though you have the upper hand because they haven't had time to prepare for this unexpected conversation. 12 Wait for an apology.Ask questions you know they won't be able to answer like "what were you thinking?" and "how did all of this come about?" or "what did I do to you to deserve that?" 11. Your offender probably has every reason in the book for having acted the way s/he did. Once you're a pro. the other person will know you've been thinking about this problem a lot .. you might even be able to make them cry.. 11 Remember how you planned out this conversation ." This will do two things. And two.
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