Negotiation Skills

Course designed by:

JCI Senator Kalada Apiafi, ITF 099.
Wider Perspectives Limited, Port Harcourt, Nigeria. +234-803 310 1457

You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO MORE THAN ASK – Roger Dawson Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen .


According to Roger Dawson. colleagues. Information. 8.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you negotiate with customers. advance preparation is a must. To • • • • Demonstrate The Concept Of Negotiation Identify The Role And Importance Of Power. 3. Laptop computer LCD projector (if not available. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO MORE THAN ASK – Roger Dawson Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen MATERIALS 1. an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you want something from someone else and anytime someone wants something from you. Time. transparencies can be printed and used with an overhead projector) Flip chart and at least 20 sheets of paper Markers (different colours) for the Trainer Participant’s Manual PowerPoint Slides Time Limit Quiz Self Check Questionnaire What Influences People Evaluation Sheet Listening Skills Checklist Listening Like a Negotiator Sheet Negotiation Action Plan Checklist Session Evaluation Form You Can Get Anything You Want. REFERENCES ROOM LAYOUT Ideal room layout is semi . Key factors that determine the outcome of every negotiation include – 3 . 2. This is not so. 4. you are negotiating. 6. 5. Negotiation is a game and like any game has its rules (principles) and tactics (gambits). Information. 3. your wife and even your children. 2. 1. Good negotiators strive for Win – Win outcomes. 3. 9. suppliers. 4. Also. 2. Time. 7. Communication Skills And Personality In A Successful Negotiation State The Principles And Techniques Of Successful Negotiation Enable You Negotiate With Confidence Introduction Principles The Stages Of Negotiation Power Information Time Gambits Communication Negotiation Styles How Both Sides Can Win OBJECTIVES MAIN POINTS Module 1 Module 2 Module 3 Module 4 Module 5 Module 6 Module 7 Module 8 Module 9 Module 10 LENGTH PARTICIPANTS EQUIPMENT Minimum time required: 3 Hours Maximum time needed: 8 Hours Minimum required: 10 – Maximum allowed: 100 1.Course Outline SUMMARY Negotiation Skills There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. Communication Skills (Verbal and Non Verbal) and Personality.

you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you negotiate with customers. you rank as one of your organization’s most valuable persons. Introductions Introduce yourself and any other trainers present. suppliers. your wife and even your children. Ask each participant to introduce him/herself stating their names and what they do. 2. not realising that Negotiation is a process not an event and therefore needs advance planning and patience. Use this to illustrate that people do likewise when negotiating. This is not so. Inform them that they have to be honest about the self check to get the maximum benefit from the Seminar. Welcome Welcome all participants and give a short overview of the course indicating that: There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. Many of them would start rushing through the quiz instead of complying with item 1. colleagues. Self Check Ask participants to complete Handout 2.10 minutes 1. if you can negotiate well. an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you want something from someone else and anytime someone wants something from you. OPENING Show slide 1 and leave it on till you finish the introductions and welcome. INTRODUCTION Time Limit Quiz Ask participants to do the Time Limit Quiz (Handout 1). Therefore. Explain that active participation is expected from all participants for effective learning and to achieve the seminar objectives and that the key take home of the Seminar is how to successfully use negotiation techniques and also recognize them in an opponent. Objectives Give a brief run down of the seminar objectives as shown in slide 2 Outline Give a brief run down of the seminar outline as shown in slide 3 10 minutes.Read everything before doing anything. According to Roger Dawson. Discussion 4 .

The essence here is to establish rapport.Discuss slide 4 Key points to be made include: a) People negotiate daily and negotiation does not always involve money. must be willing to make its staff available. Let them know that this will become very clear by the time the session is over. They should. Remind participants also that the seminar is participative. this is a negotiating situation. sports. looking for things you have in common – attendance of the same school. voluntary work etc. its underlying feelings. complimenting them and. and its organization. rather than leaving it to one or two persons. Information and Time Pressure (real or contrived) are at play in every negotiation. not an event. Anytime You Want Something From Someone And Anytime Someone Wants Something From You. the other being the extent of organisational support each party to the negotiation has. 5 . like any other game. therefore. similar interests. c) In a successful negotiation all parties win. Therefore negotiation is not necessarily adversarial. b) Develop a good relationship with the other party before you negotiate. organisations. Our spouses. For instance. therefore. Ways to achieve this include calling the opponent(s) by name. Discussion Discuss slides 5 – 8. PRINCIPLES Introduction Emphasize that negotiation is a game and has rules. Let them know this would be explained in detail in Module 3 – The Stages of Negotiation. Key points to be highlighted are the need to: a) Personalize transactions. that is why information gathering is important. d) Power. Modern day negotiation involves team work through the various stages. c) Make the other party talk about itself. therefore. This can be done by phone call(s) and having breakfast/ lunch/ dinner together. when your friend wants to borrow a book from you. State briefly. feel free to ask questions and make contributions as the discussions proceed. You Are Negotiating. children and friends negotiate with us regularly. 3. you have to get a commitment to (negotiate) a return date or else it may never be returned. for instance. The party with more information stands a better chance of negotiating a favourable outcome for itself. Power here. The principles to be discussed are the rules for successful negotiation. This is achieved by asking questions and allowing the other party to do more of the talking. Time pressure is part of the web of tension in the definition of negotiation on the slide. being the ability to influence people and events. b) Revisit the Time Limit Quiz to emphasize that Negotiation is a process. 20 minutes.

which shows the Actual Negotiation as the end not the beginning of the process and that in practice people often rush to the fourth stage thus ending up with a bad deal.d) Give information slowly and cautiously. they must apply ALL the principles in every Negotiation for a successful outcome. g) Move towards objective(s) slowly. This ensures that you do not give away too much. Take notes during the negotiation and write up the agreement. It also enables you brief the person drawing up the agreement in detail. h) Consult on concessions when necessary. f) Give the other party some concessions if it has done its share of making concessions. The other party is likely to ask for more concessions if they are given easily and vice versa. referring to the slide. This is because the side with more information stands a better chance of negotiating a favourable outcome for itself. in the case of a deadlock a new team member is likely to change the tempo of the negotiation and break the deadlock. making concessions one at a time. Role Play Divide the participants into two teams with one representing the Management 6 . THE FOUR STAGES OF NEGOTIATION Introduction Show slide 9 and state briefly that there are four stages in Negotiation and it is necessary to take time to go through each in every negotiation for a successful outcome. Taking notes makes the other party feel that what they are saying is important. Remind participants of the Time Limit Quiz and that they should never be in a hurry when negotiating. While questions would have arisen during the discussion you may (depending on how well you are doing with time) allow for a few more questions from the participants to ensure understanding of this module. Illustrate that skilled negotiators do this always even in the face of time pressure or negotiating away from home. This is achieved by politely asking for permission to make a call. You may also wish to ask one or two questions. so it can save face. 30 minutes. Drawing up the agreement gives the advantage of making it suit you because it becomes a working document to be amended. e) Get something in return whenever you make a concession. for instance. 4. Drive home the point that negotiation is a process not an event. i) Substitute negotiators when necessary. Conclusion Make it clear to participants that as much as possible. the j) k) Draft the document as if it may ultimately be read in Court because parties might end up in court. Also it discourages the other party from asking for too many concessions since they know you are going to ask for one each time you concede. get back to them or leave the room.

slow. Get both teams to start the actual negotiation. Refer them to the principles of personalized transactions. Give both teams five minutes to prepare to negotiate with each other and give no further guidance other than that the actual negotiation will take eight minutes. Give as many practical examples as possible. developing a good relationship before the negotiation and the importance of information. 7 . refer to the role play to drive home your points and ask participants to also talk about some of their experiences and how the discussion has enabled them realise some of their past errors.of a company and the other. Stop both teams after the five minutes and start the actual negotiation. you can answer questions from either team provided that it does not defeat the purpose of the exercise which is to practically demonstrate a Negotiation and some of the errors often made. for instance did either team initiate any meeting(s) at the preparatory stage. b) Did both teams have a Plan of Action? If any. However. for example. the Trade Union (you are free to select other options. Discussion: Discuss the role play and invite comments including: a) Extent and methodology of information gathering. make notes of your observations and stop them after eight minutes. one group could represent an industrial buyer and the other. asking for something in return)? Which team made more concessions and why? d) Which team displayed more confidence and why? e) How where the members of the negotiating team selected? f) Which team listened more? Discuss each of the stages using slides 10 to 14. However. what were the contents? c) What was the pattern of concessions (quick. you can allow an extra minute or two if more time is requested for and use this as an opportunity to illustrate that almost anything is negotiable including deadlines. the seller).

Advise participants to never allow themselves to be intimidated by titles. b) Reward Power: Anytime one person has the power to reward another. Further state that “If You Believe You Have It. It is essential to make clear that power here is viewed in its positive sense as merely the ability to influence people and events and that the party with more power (influence) will gain the most concessions.” so that it is very clear to them. Let participants know that they often have hidden reward power. he or she has reward power. fair. if they are honest. d) Referent Power: Explain that this power is available to anyone who maintains a consistent set of attractive values and sticks to them. Take and ask a few questions if time permits. A negotiator must come to grips with his fear of humiliation otherwise he will never succeed in influencing people. for instance. upstanding and considerate. c) Coercion Power: Explain that anyone who has the power to punish. when the person across the table laughs at the offer. therefore. keep in mind that it’s a power ploy. largely a matter of perception. from a police officer to a mother. Let them know that this module is about how to have Power in any negotiation. when shopping for a new car they have the power to reward the sales person with a sale or they can withhold the sale. participants must overcome fears. For instance. You Have It. So. You Don’t Have It. 25 minutes. to make the reward appear as meaningless as possible. Discussion Discuss slides 17 and 18 as follows: a) Title Power: The legitimate power that goes to anyone who holds a title. If You Believe You Don’t (Even If You Do). don’t allow your fear of rejection to control the situation. Also let them know that the defense against such power is to use reluctance. 5. has the ability to influence and punishment comes in many forms but one of the greatest punishments that we fear is ridicule. To fend off the power of coercion. POWER Introduction Show slide 16 and ask participants if they have gone into a negotiation feeling the weaker party and why? Allow answers from about 2 participants and let them know that they should NEVER enter into a Negotiation feeling they are the weaker party because Power is a subjective mental force and.Conclusion Show slide 15 and conclude that ADVANCE PLANNING IS A MUST FOR SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATIONS. they will have a strong ability to influence people – and that is worth far than any 8 . Therefore.

Commitment Power: Explain that ability to gain the commitment of others gives power in negotiations. who may be powerless in any other aspect of daily life. n) Legitimacy Power: Let them know that people are conditioned to believe anything that is printed. l) Risk Sharing Power: Let participants know that when they are trying to convince someone to invest in something. understanding and definite in requests. h) Information Power: Explain that this has already been discussed in the Principles and Stages of Negotiation modules and will be discussed further in the next module. m) Identification Power: Explain to participants that if people can identify with them they will be able to influence them. may practically hold your life in his hands in the office situation. it leads to loss of respect. Confusion Power: Explain that if they can get someone confused. i) Surroundings Power: Let them know they are better off if they can negotiate in their offices rather than the other party’s because they can control the situation more.amount of money. Situation power gives people a great deal of influence over the actions of others and people Love To Use It. and consequently power on the other hand. Persistence Power: Let them know that persistence pays and that most people are not persistent 9 . then they have the ability to influence him. if it is. g) Situation Power: Explain that certain persons such as a Secretary. It can be very irritating and intimidating but can be dealt with by being courteous. Point out also that expertise power can be abused. for instance. Use this to illustrate the importance of belonging to social networks. e) Charisma Power: Let them know that charisma is one of the most powerful factors of influence and comes mainly from the ability to make people feel important. However. Ask participants for other ways of having charisma. f) Expertise Power: Explain that through expertise power many professionals have learned to ensure that their clients listen to them. Ask participants for other examples of situation power. explain other ways of achieving charisma are calling people by their names and dressing well. j) k) Competition Power: Explain that they can usually gain some influence in negotiations if they state the fact that they have many options and do not necessarily need to make a deal with the other party. there is a good chance that he will do whatever he is told to. therefore they should use it when it is advantageous and challenge it when it used against them. Commitment can be gained by involving the other party by seeking their opinions. If the other party is so confused that he doesn’t know what to do. Also. expertise power can be very advantageous in negotiations. State that: if you can make someone feel important. you can make him/her do anything. reemphasize the importance of information in negotiation. their arguments become more powerful if they can arrange the deal so that the risk is shared – they know you will fight hard because your survival also depends on the deal. thereby influencing them. This involvement will lead to commitment which in turn leads to power.

Illustrate the above as much as possible with practical examples and stories from experience. and the more knowledge one side is able to get about the other. most unskilled negotiators hardly take the time or the effort to go through the information gathering stage of the negotiation. Self Check Distribute handout 3 – What Influences People . of their needs and desires.and ask participants to complete it and re-evaluate themselves monthly. you are much more likely to collect valuable information. d) They should look out for verbal and non-verbal cues. It can lead you to an understanding of the other side. b) Asking questions is important – directly from the other party. Discussion Discuss slide 20 making the following key points: a) Knowledge is power. If you meet over lunch.enough. People most often get what they want because they are persistent o) Precedent Power: Explain that precedent is another force in negotiation and should be used to maximum advantage. 10 minutes 6. c) A neutral meeting place may be best for preliminary information gathering. from others who have dealt with them in the past and from professionals. 10 . INFORMATION Introduction Show slide 20 and open by stating the fact that .INFORMATION IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN NEGOTIATION – despite this. the better chance there is for victory. It can be countered by referring to the passage of time after the precedent. State this as the reason for the existence of restaurants in all cities of the world. Explain that as much as 70% of communication is non-verbal and that this will be discussed during the communication module. less stress and better results. away from the formality of the office. and will help you achieve what you want. Conclusion Close this module by showing slide 19 and reemphasising that people should NEVER go into a Negotiation feeling the weaker party because there are so many power sources to draw from. p) Attitude Power: Explain that attitude is important in negotiation and that they should learn to see it as a game so as to have more energy. e) It is important to test the validity of information as not all information provided is usually correct.

GAMBITS Introduction Show slide 22 and explain that gambits are the tactics used during the actual negotiation. b) The value of services tends to diminish rapidly after the services have been rendered. Take this opportunity to remind them of the stages of negotiation: • Clarify The Other Party’s Objectives 11 . The Vietnamese then proceeded to spend week after week discussing the shape of the negotiating table Conclusion Conclude by stating that in negotiation. c) Time pressure is one of the strongest forces in getting concessions in negotiation. 25 minutes 8. eighty percent of concessions will be made in the last twenty percent of the time available. Therefore. Since then the rule seems to apply in unrelated fields such as business where it has been discovered that eighty percent of sales come from twenty percent of the sales force. Allow time for a few questions 10 minutes 7. in a ten minute negotiation you can save $10. Use their answers to illustrate the difficulty of negotiating effectively under time pressure and how time pressure is often used to extract concessions.000 for your organization. Discussion Discuss slide 21 as follows: a) Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) which was based on his findings in the nineteenth century that eighty percent of wealth was concentrated in the hands of twenty percent of the people. So also in negotiation. the Vietnamese were able to extract a lot of concessions because it was an election year in America and they wanted the talks concluded quickly.Conclusion Close with a comment that gathering information may be a difficult task. because you can gain a lot of money for your organization by taking time to prepare in advance. you have saved money at the rate of $60. Illustrate this with the story of how during negotiations at the 1968 US – Vietnam Peace Talks in Paris. First the Vietnamese leased a villa in the countryside for two and a half years while the American negotiator rented a hotel room on a week to week basis. Also if. skilled negotiators always negotiate price before rendering their services. TIME REALLY IS MONEY. what the outcome was and if they were aware of being deliberately put under time pressure.000 an hour. for instance. TIME Introduction Show slide 21 and ask participants if they have had to negotiate under time pressure. but its importance cannot be overemphasized because INFORMATION IS POWER.

Middle and Closing and they are generally used at the opening. This is because. Secondly a quick yes will arouse suspicion on the other side as to whether something is wrong with the product and this can stall a good negotiation. If this is well planned. c) The Flinch: Let participants know they can react to an offer visibly by showing shock. This is a way of addressing a conflict by answering controversial/argumentative statements by explaining that you understand how the other feels and that many other people felt exactly the same way. First. This is one way conflict can be avoided . middle and closing phases of the actual negotiation as the names imply. the demands may seem outrageous they may well be within the opponent’s negotiating range. Ask participants if this has been used on them and what effect it had. Also emphasize that there must always be a negotiating range which must include the best price to possibly hope for. Discussion Show slide 23 and discuss Opening Gambits as follows: a) Reluctance: Explain that participants should as much as possible be reluctant negotiators whether buying or selling. service or business deal. e) Want It All: Let participants know that when making an offer. Give practical examples. Further. Instead they should use the feel/felt/found strategy. though. asking for free delivery when purchasing a bulky item etc. f) First Offers: Explain that they should never jump at first offers. the other party immediately thinks it could have done better. such as separating fees from expenses when rendering a professional service. Therefore. no matter how good the deal looks. it may reasonably be expected that the final agreement would fall somewhere in the range. no matter how much they might disagree with the other party. the price expected at the end of negotiating. It is hard to extract concessions when you are brimming with enthusiasm for a product. It also creates a climate for compromise by leaving room for both parties to win/lose one or two points and still come out with a good deal – that way a win/win situation is achieved. b) Planning: State one of the famous quotations on planning such as “he who fails to plan plans to fail”. and the very lowest price to be settled on. disgust or disbelief – it almost always brings a more realistic counteroffer. Accepting first offers raises two questions in the mind of the other party. to first offers they should always say – I’m 12 . restate that planning is essential in negotiating. but that you have studied the problem and have found a solution. d) Feel/Felt/Found: Explain that they should never start a negotiation by arguing.• • • Information Gathering Action Plan The Actual Negotiation Also explain that there are three categories of gambits – Opening. therefore. every gambit must be planned in advance. they should ask for everything they really want and possibly more.

b) Splitting The Difference: Explain to that they should never offer to split the difference instead. The dumber one acts. This statement immediately puts the other party in a spot. Acting dumb immediately defuses the competitive spirit. This way concessions are being extracted from the very start without they having to make any. This entails setting aside a 13 .sorry but you have to do better. the better off they are. They should always ask for much more than they expect to get. Allow one or two participants to relate their experience and then explain that any negotiator who enters a bargaining game as the obvious final authority from his side puts himself at a serious disadvantage because the opponent knows that all he has to do is to convince him as the buck stops with him. one that may be very difficult to open. As a good negotiator. Then make the point to remember that there is always a key to a deadlock and therefore a way out for the negotiators. c) Get Smart… Play Dumb: Let them know that they are better of acting as if they know less than the other party. Show slide 24 and discuss Middle Gambits as follows: a) Higher Authority: Let them know that this is a regularly used gambit by salesmen and purchasing executives to avoid making concessions and ask participants if they have used this gambit and to relate the situation in which it was used. they should always remember that there is room for improvement from the other side no matter what and the vise will most certainly squeeze the other party’s negotiating range. e) Impasse vs. while removing the other party’s ability to use higher authority. so far this is not done to the level of appearing condescending or false. your response should be – “and just how much better do I have to do? This puts the pressure right back on the vise user. Making a “take it or leave it offer” puts the other party on the defensive and if it is not within their range may be left rather taken. but also imply a certain amount of flexibility in the demands. Deadlock: Distinguish between an impasse and deadlock by stating that an impasse is like a dead end without an exit. h) The Vise: Let them know the seven word statement “you will have to do better than that” can be very effective in the art of negotiating. g) Agreeable Means Able to Agree: Let them know that there is no need to be obnoxious because the way they make their first proposal is very important. as they use the vise gambit. The set aside tactic is the way to unlock a deadlock. they should encourage the other party to offer to do so by reminding them of the small amount that is hindering the agreement after all the time invested. d) The Trade Off: Remind them that this was discussed under negotiation principles earlier and reemphasize that they should strive to never give concessions unless they can demand a concession in return. while a deadlock is a bolt with a very complicated lock. and wait for the other to respond. Also they should strive to always let the other party make the first offer by commencing negotiations by immediately asking for the other party’s best offer. Also. Tell them to always work to keep their own resort to higher authority. this gives a controlling position and consequently leeway to work out a split that is a little better than the standard fifty – fifty. Give an example of how difficult it is to fight someone who is asking for help.

d) The Decoy and Red Herring: Let them know that these are similar gambits used in negotiation to direct attention from the real issue(s).V. Here a negotiator has a problem and throws it in the lap of his opponent. 14 . thus withdrawing the offer. Make it clear to them that when this gambit arises they should try and dismiss it without giving any concessions. in an electronics shop the salesman may say: “I am willing to sell this T. He probably knows that the delivery date cannot be met and will. This tactic can be discouraged by stating that the concession can only be made if an extra suit is bought. For instance after presenting a proposal to sell equipment to a big company. The husband will be the bad guy if he responds to the sales person’s best offer with an angry walk away. asking for a free pair of socks before paying for a suit. In fact they may have just begun. For instance. Illustrate that this gambit is frequently used by salesmen. the buyer proceeds to press for a further concession stating that he would not be able to go ahead with the deal if this additional concession is not made. a mediator may be necessary. the purchasing manager says. The wife (now acting as the good guy) steps in to mediate the impasse by saying: “I am sure I can get my husband to continue the negotiation if only you will be a little more flexible”. walking away at a crucial moment will be the best way to accomplish a good deal. The point to note here is that he has created an issue to divert attention from the real issue: the price. f) The Hot Potato: Explain that this gambit is much like the higher authority gambit. Explain that business partners also use this gambit frequently c) The Withdrawn Offer: Explain that this is a tactic used to force a decision. b) Good Guy/Bad Guy: Illustrate this gambit with a husband and wife negotiating to buy a house or car.major contentious issue to discuss other minor issues involved in the negotiation. It is subtle and often not recognized by the other party. use it to extract the price concession he wants. Show slide 25 and discuss Ending Gambits as follows: a) Walk Away Will Power: Tell them they should not be afraid to walk away from a negotiation if they are not satisfied it is going their way – i. Leaving the negotiations does not mean they are over.e. The counter to this is not to fall for it and pass it back to the other party to resolve the problem that he has cited as the reason for asking for the additional concession. so the same thing applies in a negotiation – never allow the opponent to make his problem yours.” your proposal is okay but there is something wrong with your offer. Finally illustrate that if a hot potato is thrown into someone’s hands he is likely to drop it or throw it back to the person who threw it at him. therefore. e) The Nibble: Explain that this is a tactic used to extract concessions after a deal has been concluded and is often done by asking for some extra things that seem insignificant. Many times. In the case of an impasse. for so much but my manager will not accept your offer”. For example. We won’t be interested unless we can get delivery by August 20th. trying to get or avoid making concessions. it has potential to be a bad deal. This can be countered by simply saying: “That’s okay let’s go see him maybe I can talk him into accepting my offer”. After negotiating back and forth and eventually arriving at a price.

Therefore. this is because of the importance of information in negotiation as earlier discussed. 9. especially in negotiation and that these and the hidden meanings in a lot of the statements made during negotiations have to be decoded. e) They should learn active listening: Active listening is the art of communicating to the opponent that you’re hearing their every word. h) They should ask a question … then be quiet: This is a foolproof way to listen. d) They should not interrupt: There is always the temptation to. c) They should always let the other person do most of the talking. instantly recognizing them when they are being used on you. b) Participants should develop the desire to listen: They must accept the fact that listening to others is their strongest weapon.verbal. knowledge of these tactics gives a tremendous advantage in negotiation. COMMUNICATION Introduction Show slide 26 and state that communication skills are very important in negotiation and that in negotiation it is more important to listen than talk. Self Check Ask participants to complete handout 4 – Listening Skills Checklist.Conclusion Conclude by stating that the beauty of knowing these tactics is not only in using them but more importantly. Allow time for a few questions 15 minutes. Also explain that a great part of communication is non-verbal. If they must negotiate over the phone they should initiate the call and have all 15 . Discuss slides 27 and 28 (Body Language) as follows: a) Let them know that it is necessary to avoid negotiating over the phone because it is not possible to read the body language of the other person and as stated earlier a great part of communication is non . g) They should learn to “listen” for nonverbal messages – body language. f) They should always ask the other person to clarify what he or she just said when necessary: This will clear up any misunderstanding. Discussion Distribute handout 5 – Listening like a Negotiator and finalise the discussion on Listening Skills as follows: a) Successful negotiators resemble the television detective Columbo – they ask questions and listen. Request them to take the next few weeks to work on the areas needing improvement and to complete the checklist every month for the next six months or more. Let them know this would be discussed in more detail next.

be done without staring. These phrases almost always precede an important part of a conversation but are often stated casually. b) Throwaways: These are seemingly meaningless phrases – “As you are aware. if this is not possible then they should offer to call back. It is when there is a change in behaviour that the good reader of body language should pick up his ears and be careful. however.” used to legitimize a sentence that is not really true. Another form of this is exaggeration.” Before I forget. one has to be careful and take context into account when reading body language.” Incidentally. for instance.” two powerful words that have the ability to erase everything that has been said before. This should.” “I’m not very knowledgeable about law. Body Language by Alan Pease. Observing blinking rates is quite important because in general blinking rates increase when a person is lying or excited.” and “however.” “By The way. f) It is necessary to make eye contact and study blinking rates – The Eyes Have It.” “I’ll see what I can do. therefore. For instance.” “I’ll work to keep it below $ X. shaking with both hands may be considered forward. be assured he is about to get very personal.” e) Erasers: These include “but. c) Explain that if they are negotiating with two other people they should make an effort not to be seated between them because they can make signals to each other without the other party being aware. Being outnumbered can be forestalled by asking how many people will be present on the other side in advance. For instance someone says “I need a big favour” and asks for only $ 70.necessary information before them. b) Explain that they should be careful with anything other than a straight handshake.” – that can point out important messages. c) Legitimizers: Expressions such as “frankly. f) Deceptions: These enable the opponent to come up with any criticism and include “I’m just a country boy. e) Let them know that as a general rule. g) Finally let them know that body language can be misinterpreted.” “You know I never went to University. d) Let them know it is better to disperse the negotiation when outnumbered. highlighting: a) The fact that there are expressions that should alert you to a possible hidden meaning. then show slide 30 and discuss it further. Show slide 29 and introduce Hidden Meanings.” g) Preparers: When someone says he doesn’t mean to be personal. So people should try not to be got 16 . men will normally keep their jackets buttoned until they feel comfortable in their surroundings.” “honestly. Recommend further reading to master this area. especially for a first meeting.” “to tell you the truth. d) Justifiers: These lay the foundation for future failure and include “I will try my best. he is more likely to get it. Thus if a person they are negotiating with calls they should try to make an appointment to meet face to face.

Conclusion Conclude by stating that extra-ordinary communication skills are required for successful negotiation thus mastery of listening skills. banker. They like to be in charge. 17 . has to be matched with time consciousness and provision of information for quick decision making.. The four negotiating styles to be discussed are: pragmatic. He is fascinated by analysis. They. very efficient and active. This style is matched by providing them detailed analysis and presentations. if asked when they can see someone. and making out time for the unexpected. for instance. body language and hidden meanings is essential.” In this case the speaker has already given this thought but may not be sure it is a good idea and will support whatever he is suggesting. Analytical: The analytical negotiator loves detail and is more likely to be identified by his profession – engineer. therefore. The extrovert needs to be followed up. they are likely to ask the person to drop by anytime. decisive. often too much to jeopardise their reputation for being good-hearted. For instance. Small talk has to be reduced to a minimum. therefore. for instance. tend to be disorganized because they find it difficult to say no to people and they often have no sense of time management. amiable and analytical. Show slide 32 and explain the Extrovert Style highlighting that the extrovert negotiator is friendly and open. Show slide 33 and discuss the Amiable and Analytic Negotiation Styles as follows: Amiable: Amiables love people. lunch before or after a meeting. hardworking. supposing we…. guard. extrovert. They can be matched by being equally nice to them. He makes his mind up quickly and is not afraid to say no but is likely to do so in a friendly way. He is easily excited and tends to jump quickly at a new project but is poor at follow up. NEGOTIATION STYLES Introduction Explain that one of the important factors in a negotiation is the interrelationship between the parties involved and this is determined to a large extent by their personalities which in turn affect their negotiation styles.” or “Just of the top of my head. so try and push harder for what you want if the offer is not what you want. h) Trial Balloons: These are statements that start with “I haven’t given this a lot of thought. Take a few minutes for questions. but what do you think of…. This style can be matched by being equally friendly and also providing information for quick decision making. Discussion Show slide 31 and discuss the Pragmatic Style highlighting that the pragmatic negotiator is very conscious of time. accountant or. This style. 15 minutes 10. It is. essential to understand one’s personality and that of others.

when participants know what style they are using and what style the other party is using. HOW BOTH SIDES CAN WIN Introduction Show slide 35 and explain that in a successful negotiation the object is not to beat the opponent.Show slide 34 and explain that the horizontal line represents level of assertiveness. These may be minimized. with a high level of assertiveness being shown on the right and low on the left. Discussion Continue showing slide 35 and explain that a good negotiation has been completed when: a) Both parties can walk away from the deal feeling as though they accomplished something important b) There is the feeling that both sides have each cared about the objectives of the other c) Each side believes that negotiations were conducted fairly d) Each negotiator feels that he would enjoy dealing with the other at sometime in future e) Each party believes that the other is determined to keep to the commitments made in the contract. Conclusion Explain that in real life. people do not fall into neat categories as above and that people may even be in more than one category but one is likely to be dominant. For this reason it is necessary to begin to analyze the people they deal with so as to understand how to negotiate with them effectively. therefore. Participants will have the most difficulty with the personality diagonally opposite them on the chart. The vertical line represents level of being organized. but to creatively reach an agreement in which each negotiator can feel a winner – THE WIN – WIN APPROACH. no matter how many of his objectives he gained in a negotiation. 5 minutes 11. Each personality style can encounter difficulties when dealing with others. Explain further that there are five major differences between a winning negotiator and a losing negotiator: 18 . with a high level of being organized at the top and low at the bottom. he should be aware that he probably wants more time to think things over and will be suspicious and cautious if pressured. however. The lesson is that one has to understand his own personality style and that of others because negotiation is an exercise in human relations (remind them that you did talk of the need to personalize transactions while discussing the principles of negotiation) and the time taken to understand others and adjust to their personalities helps in this direction and builds goodwill and a basis for long term relationships. A win – win negotiator is. For instance. if a participant knows he is dealing with a person who is not highly assertive (amiable/analytical). a person who can get what he wants out of a negotiation and still meet the above standards while a losing negotiator is one who has not met the above standards.

You can get anything you want in life.and ask participants to evaluate the session. Much of the conflict in the world today could be resolved if people would realize that most of the time people are not right or wrong. they will be better win – win negotiators. but you have to do more than ask. 5 minutes 12. realizes that money is not everything in a negotiation. e) The Opponents Position: The fifth point that separates winners from losers is the unwillingness of a loser to appreciate the position and values of his opponent. if a negotiator only thinks in terms of price in a business deal. They are merely seeing a problem from different perspectives. Conclusion Conclude by letting them know that the most important of the above rules to remember as any negotiating is begun is to never jump to a conclusion and a winner also. It is important to understand that every person acts mainly in his own interest. 19 . c) Jump to Conclusions: The third difference is the tendency that losing negotiators have to jump to conclusions about the other party’s needs. it is almost always possible to reach a win-win agreement. With the ideas discussed so far. A winner never jumps to conclusion.a) Narrowing to One Issue: The first difference is the tendency by losing negotiators to narrow the negotiations down to one issue. it is clear there will have to be a winner and loser in the negotiation.Your Negotiation Action Plan Checklist .Session Evaluation Form . d) Lack of Information: Losers often try to reach an agreement without knowing much about their opponents and the needs that they may not have mentioned. YOU HAVE TO NEGOTIATE. This ensures that you end on a high note. If they believe they are in a position of strength. The other party almost always has its pressures. Remind participants that we discussed so many sources of power and that power is subjective. therefore. Good negotiators learn to always look for the other issues – the smaller things behind the stumbling blocks that are also important to the people involved. End by wishing participants success with their future negotiations and show slide 37 . Distribute Handout 7 .and request that participants use it for all their subsequent negotiations. For instance. Take this opportunity to reemphasize the importance of information to a successful negotiation. b) Feeling Weak: The second difference is that losers always feel they have the weaker position as they enter the negotiation. CLOSING Distribute Handout 6 . they should never go into a negotiation feeling the weaker party. In order to reach a workable agreement the winning negotiator respects the needs and values of his opponent and works to satisfy those needs as well as his own.

20. yes” Call out your first name when you get to this point in the test Put a circle around each word in sentence 7 Put an X in the lower left-hand corner of this page Draw a triangle around the X you just wrote down On the reverse side of this page multiply 703 by 9805 Draw a rectangle around the word “page” in sentence 4 If you think you have followed directions up to this point. 10. write. 14. print the number of members you’ve recruited Count out loud in your normal speaking voice backwards from ten to one Now that you have finished reading carefully. do what you are asked in question two and raise your hand to signify to the group leader that you have completed the quiz within the time limit (Source: JCI Leadership Handbook) 20 . write the purpose of this quiz in 20 words or less Circle the word “name” in sentence 2 Draw seven small squares in the upper right-hand corner of this page Place your home telephone number in the squares. yes. include zip code On the back of this page. 5. “yes. 11. Add area code below Put a circle around each square Sign your name under the title of this quiz After the word “title” in sentence 9. 4. 16.HANDOUT 1 Time Limit Quiz READING COMPREHENSION (For each correct answer. 12. Print your name in the upper left-hand corner of this page Put your address under your name. 17. score 5 points. 3. 7.) You have only three minutes to finish this quiz. 13. 2. 8. Read everything before doing anything. 18. 6. 15. call out “I have” To the left of this direction. 9. 19. 1.

7. ________________________________________ (Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow) 21 . For example. ________________________________________ 3. 3. if you rate yourself as needing work on developing negotiation consciousness. 8. Developing negotiation consciousness Listening well Having high aspirations Being a detective: Asking questions Having patience Maintaining flexible assumptions Focusing on satisfaction Taking risks Solving problems Being willing to walk away 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 Needs Work 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 How did you do? You have an opportunity to work on your weak areas in your next negotiation. 2. The areas I need to focus on are: 1. 6. set yourself the goal of becoming a better detective. 10. 9. If you lag when it comes to asking perceptive questions. ________________________________________ 2. plan to be more assertive. 5.HANDOUT 2 Self Check Rate yourself on each of the 10 traits Excellent 1. 4.

Information As others see me As I would like to be 1 = worst. Reference As others see me As I would like to be As I am 5. Coercion As others see me As I would like to be As I am 4.HANDOUT 3 WHAT INFLUENCES PEOPLE Evaluation Sheet As I am 1. 10 = best (Source: You Can Get Anything You Want But You Have To Do More Than Ask – Roger Dawson) 22 . Reward As others see me As I would like to be As I am 3. Title As others see me As I would like to be As I am 2. Charisma As others see me As I would like to be As I am 6. Expertise As others see me As I would like to be As I am 7. Situation As others see me As I would like to be As I am 8.

I draw mental outlines as I listen so I can be sure I have got all the major points of the message. 5. ___ I “talk” to my speaker through my actions. 15. ___ 7. I replay messages for clarity by saying things like. I will complete this checklist every month ___ ___ ____ ____ ____ ____ 14.HANDOUT 4 Listening Skills Checklist 1 2. “this is how I heard what you said. Yes ___ ___ No ____ ____ Needs Improvement ____ ____ I realize that listening is a matter of skill. and I am doing something to develop my listening skills. ___ ____ ____ I review my outlines as I listen so I don't forget important points. 3. and I am anxious to understand them. ___ ___ ____ ____ ____ ____ 4. (Adapted from Junior Chamber Individual Development Series – Speaking Skills) 23 . not intelligence. facial expressions. 9. ___ ____ ____ I am aware of the voice tone and actions that give away unstated messages. ___ ____ ____ I use questions to guide my speaker so he will clarify his message to me. I assume every person has something worthwhile to say. ___ ____ ____ When someone speaks to me. Am I correct? ___ ____ ____ I listen past the words of an emotional speaker and help him convey his true message. I am aware of the importance of listening in my daily life. I encourage others to talk by willingly listening instead of speaking. ____ 13. ___ ____ 11. 12. I give him my full attention. I give verbal feedback to tell the speaker how he is getting through to me. ___ ____ ____ 10. ____ ____ ____ ____ 8. etc. 6. I often find myself waiting for my “turn” to talk.

ask yourself if it is really necessary. This is a foolproof way to listen. Given the opportunity. You talk 30 percent of the time. This will clear up any misunderstanding you have. Think of yourself as an interviewer – you’re Barbara Walters! (Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow) 24 .HANDOUT 5 Listening Like a Negotiator Successful negotiators resemble the television detective Columbo – they ask questions and listen. Learn to “listen” for nonverbal messages – body language. you allow them to talk 70 percent of the time. It isn’t so don’t. Ask a question … then be quiet. This is a simple matter of mathematics. It’s not enough that you’re listening to someone – you want to be sure that they know you’re listening. Here is how you can emulate Columbo: Develop the desire to listen You must accept the fact that listening to others is your strongest weapon. Always let the other person do most of the talking. Active listening is the art of communicating to them that you’re hearing their every word. When you are about to speak. the other negotiator will tell you everything you need to know. Don’t interrupt There is always the temptation to interrupt so you can tell the other person something you think is vitally important. If this doesn’t create desire. Always ask the other person to clarify what he or she just said. The other negotiator may be communicating with you via body language – you need to decode the message. I don’t know what will. Learn active listening.

You may want to keep a copy of this handy.HANDOUT 6 Your Negotiation Action Plan Checklist Here is a simplified step-by-step process for you to follow in your next negotiation. Have I established my targets? • Maximum? • Goal? • Bottom Line? Do I understand my real interests – what do I really need to achieve in this negotiation? Where should I start? What concessions am I willing to make? What are my options? What are my strengths? What is the pressure on the other side? What are their real needs What are their options? What are the deadlines in this negotiation? Are they negotiable? Are there any mutually acceptable standards/objective criteria we can use to reach agreement? What should be in the agenda? Where should we hold the negotiation? How many negotiators should we have? How can I help the other side feel satisfied? Do we have a trusting relationship? What can I do to create a cooperative environment? Am I concentrating on being a good listener? Have I identified the common ground in the negotiation – where do we agree? What interests do we have in common? What options exist for mutual satisfaction? How can we expand the pie? (Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow) 25 .

What was your reaction to the quality and content of the handout materials you received? Very good Good Fair Poor 7. You need not sign your name unless you wish to do so. 1.HANDOUT 7 SESSION EVALUATION FORM Seminar title: Your name (Optional): Date: Trainer’s name: The questions below are designed to help us evaluate the program you have just completed and to pinpoint those areas that should be redesigned for future participants. 5. Please take a few minutes of your time and answer as honestly and accurately as you can. What suggestions do you have for improving this session? _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 26 . If used. Please indicate your overall reaction to the training session just completed Very good Good Fair Did the topic presented relate to your needs? A great deal Somewhat Poor 2. Will you be able to use and apply the material presented in your daily duties? A great deal Somewhat Very little Not at all Would you please give us your overall reaction to the way the trainer presented the session? Very good Good Fair Poor 4. Very little Not at all 3. what was your reaction to the visual aids which were used? Very good Good Fair Poor 6.

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