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Domestic Violence against Women Lecturer: Ms. Louradel M. Ulbata, RN What is Violence Against Women (VAW)?
VAW, or violence against women, means any act that results in harm and disproportionately affects women. The root cause of VAW lies in unequal power relations between men and women in almost all facets of life. Some examples of VAW include domestic violence, rape and sexual harassment. The United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women defines VAW as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life”. VAW was recognised as a violation of fundamental human rights in 1993, less than two decades ago, officially through the Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women by the United Nations General Assembly. Women’s movements across the world are continuously bringing to light new dimensions and different forms of VAW.

What is Domestic Violence?
It often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse while attempting to physically or psychologically dominate others. Violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women, which have led to domination over and discrimination against women by men and to the prevention of the full advancement of women...” Violence in the domestic sphere is usually perpetrated by males who are, or who have been, in positions of trust and intimacy and power – husbands, boyfriends, fathers, fathers-inlaw, stepfathers, brothers, uncles, sons, or other relatives. Domestic violence is in most cases violence perpetrated by men against women. Women can also be violent, but their actions account for a small percentage of domestic violence.

Shocking Truths
• 6 million American women are beaten each year by their husbands or boyfriends. 4,000 of them are killed • Women are nine times more likely to be assaulted in their own home than on the street • 25% of all female psychiatric patients who attempt suicide are victims of domestic violence • 85% of women in substance abuse programs are victims of domestic violence • 50% of the children in foster care are there because of domestic violence • A third of women in hospital emergency rooms at any given time are there because of domestic violence • Every 9 seconds a woman is being battered

2 • Relationship violence is the #1 cause of injury to women ages 15-44; more than rapes, muggings, and car accidents combined. • 80% of rapes are perpetrated by someone the victim knows. • 42% of rape victims tell NO ONE about the assault. • 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner in the year 2000. • In 2004, there were approximately two domestic violence incidents reported to law enforcement each hour of every day.

Intimate Relationships
Violent relationships for the most part start with romance and love. In the beginning there are kisses, flowers, long walks in the park and even poems written with tenderness. Once the abuse begins, these relationships are hard to escape because they start out with romance and continue being romantic even while they are abusive. A healthy relationship is based on trust, communication, honesty, and love. When some one loves another person they care enough to make sure their partner is happy.

Healthy Relationships

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Unhealthy Relationships

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CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Cultural • • • • • • • • Gender Cultural definitions of appropriate sex roles Expectations of roles within relationships Belief in the inherent superiority of males Values that give men proprietary rights over women and girls Notion of the family as the private sphere and under male control Customs of marriage (bride price/dowry) Acceptability of violence as a means to resolve conflict

Cultural practices affecting the health and lives of women • • • • Female Genital Mutilation Dowry-related violence Killing in the name of honor: Early marriages

Economic causes • • • • • • • Women’s economic dependence on men Limited access to cash and credit Discriminatory laws regarding inheritance, property rights communal lands maintenance after divorce or widowhood Limited access to employment in formal and informal sectors Limited access to education and training for women

Legal causes • • • • • Lesser legal status of women either by written law and/or by practice Laws regarding divorce, child custody, maintenance and inheritance Legal definitions of rape and domestic abuse Low levels of legal literacy among women Insensitive treatment of women and girls by police and judiciary

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The Cycle of Violence
Abuse
When the time and circumstances are right he begins his attack. This is a display of power & control over his victim.

Set-up The abuser creates a situation of control in which the victim has no choice but to act in a way that in his mind will justify abuse. Fantasy Here the abuser fantasizes about past & future abuses of the victim. These fantasies fuel the abuser’s anger to help him move into the set-up stage.

Guilt These are not normal feelings for hurting someone, but guilt over the possibility of being caught

Rationalization The abuser blames the victim to justify his own behavior, “you should shut up when I tell you to, then I wouldn’t have to hit you.”

Normal Behavior Here the abuser acts as if nothing has happened. Behavior is normal This period gives the victim hope that won’t happen again.

The Cycle of Abuse

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Reasons They Stay
In many cases people wonder why women don’t just leave their abusive partner. It is easier said than done because women face many economic, social & educational barriers that then pulls them back to the conclusion that they are better off with him. These are barriers such as “Where will I go?” and “How will I support myself & the kids?”. Not only are these women faced with the reality of where will they go, but the partner also threatens that he will find her and kill her. Abused women are often so isolated from the world that they don’t know how to get help or where they can go. The husband has destroyed all communication with family or friends so there is door opened for the abused women. Other times the man has destroyed the women’s self esteem thoughts such as, who would ever love me and I’m worth nothing.

Health Consequences of Violence Against Women
Non-FATAL OUTCOMES Physical health outcomes: • • • • • • • • • • • • Injury (from lacerations to fractures and internal organs injury) Unwanted pregnancy Gynecological problems STDs including HIV/AIDS Miscarriage Pelvic inflammatory disease Chronic pelvic pain Headaches Permanent disabilities Asthma Irritable bowel syndrome Self-injurious behaviors(smoking, unprotected sex)

Mental health outcomes: • • • • • • • • Depression Fear Anxiety Low self-esteem Sexual dysfunction Eating problems Obsessive-compulsive disorder Post traumatic stress disorder

FATAL OUTCOMES • • • • Suicide Homicide Maternal mortality HIV/AIDS

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Children & Domestic Violence
• • • • 1 out of 4 children is directly exposed to violence either as a victim or witness In 2002, 707,707 children’s parents were investigated for abuse or neglect 3-10 million children witness DV/abuse each year in the US In a national survey of more than 6,000 families, 50% of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children • In families where the mother is assaulted by the father, daughters are exposed to a risk of sexual assault 6.51 times greater than girls in non-abusive families

Sexual abuse of children and adolescents
Considering the taboo in most countries that surrounds incest or the sexual abuse of children and adolescents within the family, this is one of the most invisible forms of violence. Because the crime is perpetrated most often by a father, stepfather, grandfather, brother, uncle, or another male relative in a position of trust, the rights of the child are usually sacrificed in order to protect the name of the family and that of the adult perpetrator. However, studies have shown that from 40 to 60 per cent of known sexual assaults within the family are committed against girls aged 15 years and younger, regardless of region or culture.

Helping Our Children
Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home — from friends, the neighborhood, television, the internet, music, the movies... everything they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means to "be a man" — that they have to be tough, be in control. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to "be a man" in a relationship. So teach boys early, and teach them often, that there is no place for violence in a relationship. • Teach boys that violence against women and girls is wrong. Sometimes the only messages young boys get are the wrong ones. Many young men need advice and direction on how to behave towards women and they want to talk to you about it. • • Teach Early. It's never too soon to talk to a child about violence. Tell him that "hands are not for hitting." Let him know how you think he should express his anger and frustration — and what is out of bounds. • • Bring It Up. A kid will rarely approach you and ask for guidance on how to treat women. But that doesn't mean he doesn't need or want it. Try watching TV with him or listening to his music. If you see or hear things that depict violence against women, tell him what you think about it. • • Listen. Hear what he has to say. Listen to how he and his friends talk about girls. Ask him if he's ever seen abusive behavior in his friends. • • Tell Him How. Teach him ways to express his anger without using violence. When he gets mad, tell him he can walk it out, talk it out, or take a time out. • • Be a Role Model. Fathers, coaches and men who spend time with boys or teens will have the greatest impact when they "walk the walk." • • Teach Often. Use every opportunity to reinforce the message that violence has no place in a relationship.

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Are You at Risk?
Does your partner:        Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family? Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you? Threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself? Make you have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually that you don’t want to do? Interrogate you intensely about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything? Treat you roughly- punch, shove, slap, bite, kick, choke, or hit you; destroy personal property or throw things around? Blame you for how they feel or act?

Do You:        Become quiet when he/she is around and feel afraid of making him/her upset? Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior? Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself? Feel like no matter you do, your partner is never happy with you? Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would say if you broke up? Stop seeing your friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated? Find yourself explaining bruises to family or friends?

Warning Signs
 When person is with partner, the partner calls them names or puts them down in front of other people Abuser acts extremely jealous when partner talks to people of the opposite sex Person used to have more friends before the relationship began Before the relationship, the person was more outgoing and involved with family, school activities, and friends Person becomes secretive about the relationship and doesn’t want to talk about it Abuser is always checking up on partner, calling or text messaging her/him and demanding to know where partner has been and who they were with Abuser discourages or criticizes person for their beliefs, interests, and ideas Abuser blames their partner for their anger Person being abused is afraid to disagree with their partner Person has injuries they can’t explain, or their excuses don’t seem to make sense

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9  Abuser forces or talks partner into doing anything sexually that they don’t want to do, such as forcing partner to have sex without protection Abuser displays controlling and possessive behaviors such as saying who the partner can and cannot hang out with, what they can not wear, where they can and cannot go, and who they can and cannot talk to

Safety Plan
Safety Plan: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) Pack a bag and leave it with a friend. Hide an extra set of car and house keys outside. Keep a list of emergency phone numbers hidden. Have a bank account in your name with money in it. Consider obtaining an order of protection. Plan and escape route and practice it.

Gather the following for You & Your Children:             Birth Certificates Social Security Cards Driver’s License Keys Passports Green Card/Work Permit Welfare Identification Money Checkbook Credit Cards School Registration Restraining Orders, etc.

How to Respond
If a friend has been assaulted: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) Validate feelings….BELIEVE THEM!!!!! Encourage medical and police attention immediately. Be a good listener. Be supportive. Point out their strengths Don’t put their partner down, it may drive her away Respect the privacy of the victim.

If you have been assaulted: • Explore your options, it’s your decision to report to the police. • Do not shower, change your clothes, or brush your teeth( if you’ve been sex assaulted) • Get medical attention for injuries, possible STD’s and pregnancy. • Request a support person, such as an advocate.

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Care for the domestically abused victims
• Laws that allow perpetrators to be removed from the home and provides for the victim getting full custody of her children. • Emotional Support • Self-help support groups. • Empowerment modeling. • Crisis Intervention • Crisis hot lines. • Shelters or other emergency residential facilities. • Medical services. • Transportation networks. • Access to a custody of children and property matters. • Financial support. • Restraining and protective orders. • Housing and safe accommodations. • Access to community services • Self-esteem and confidence-building sessions. • Parenting support services.

Our contribution to stop domestic violence
• • • • • • • • • • • • advocacy and awareness raising education for building a culture of nonviolence training resource development direct service provision to victim survivors and perpetrators networking and community mobilization direct intervention to help victim survivors rebuild their lives legal reform monitoring interventions and measures data collection and analysis early identification of ‘at risk’ families, communities, groups, and individuals. I Fight Like a Girl I fight like a girl who refuses to be a victim. I fight like a girl who’s tired of being IGNORED and HUMORED and BEATEN AND RAPED I fight like a girl who’s sick of not being taken seriously. I fight like a girl who OFFERS and DEMANDS respect. I fight like a girl who has a lifetime of ANGER and STRENGTH and PRIDE I fight like a girl that knows that THIS BODY and MIND are mine I fight like a girl who knows that YOU ONLY HAVE AS MUCH POWER AS I GIVE YOU. I fight like a girl who FIGHTS BACK. So next time you think you can distract yourself from your insecurities by victimizing a girl.

11 THINK AGAIN. She may be ME and I FIGHT LIKE A GIRL

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