This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Jeff Schultz quite a few things happened over the summer, but not a lot on the positive side. When was the last time you heard of someone reaching out to others? We must give our praise to Bill Gates for donating this June on CNN the world is on the brink of WWIII. We are still being looked upon for worsening the conﬂicts in Lebanon and Israel. The world is spinning downward like a runaway mine train and it seems like the U.S. is pulling it. But is it really that shocking that we can get away with what we do? Our social structure allows us opportunities to lie, gossip, and deceive
“Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.”
September, 2006 twenty feet long? Or when you were just a young wipper snapper and you retorted to your mom it was your big sister who took the cookie from the cookie jar? The point is everybody lies. President Bush, Ted Kennedy, Barbra Walters, and even the wonderful Jimmy Carter lies. I’m tired of hearing both sides, right and left, saying that none of their members of lie. A lot of distrust is being made being that Republican Party thinking that they are the only party that furnishes ﬁbs. Eh hem. Let’s not forget Bill Clinton!! We know he had his pants on ﬁre. Don’t tell us any different. If lying is such a custom in everyday life, then you are probably wondering what the problem is. The problem is there is too much bullshitting going around. With all the slander and gossip, America is becoming less like a country and more like a high school. News commentators are also aware of this, as many of them have similar opinions. Bill O’Reilly in his Sept. 7th column expressed his concern of the country’s steep lack of support. “All over the world, millions of people believe America is evil, worse than the terrorists. And the unrelenting hate-Bush media in this country fuels that ridiculous concept. Quite simply, the Bush haters are out of control and are hurting the country,” O’Reilly writes. “It is patriotic to responsibly disagree with the president or with any administration. But it is wrong to smear public servants in any party,” Well certiﬁed scholars left themselves bafﬂed over the deﬁnition of bullshit for years, until Princeton Philosophy Prof Harry G. Frankfurt produced a widely accepted explanation. He states that BS is not just the product but the process by which it is created. A lie is not the same
The Summer of the Bull
Fireworks, Barbeques, and Inconvenient Truths
As fast as you could ace a hole-in-one in put put golf, the summer of 2006 went by in a blur, as summer tends to do. Getting your ﬁll of graduation cake, coconut scented suntan lotion, Countrytime Lemonade, sugar covered elephant ears from the county fair, and reruns of Grey’s Anatomy, you probably have no idea what this worldly vessel known as Earth has been up to. We regret to inform you that as you sit on the surface of your cloud nine in-ground swimming pool, not too much happened. Darrell Hannah was up in a tree, Pat Kennedy reminded us that drinking and driving is never the right decision, Mel Gibson really reminded us that drinking and driving is never the right decision, Rush Limbaugh nearly got grabbed for sneaking in a few blue pills without a prescription, mythbusters found that Diet Coke and Mentos make a big mess, My Man Mitch ﬁnally sold the lease on the toll road, Ken Ley is ofﬁcially under for good like his beloved ENRON, the WB kicked the bucket as well, a member of N*SYNC ﬁnally came out of the closet, Al Gore turned environmental forum into popcorn, Britney Spears is giving up her Kabbalah for Wrigley’s gum, Paris Hilton is giving up horizontal folk dancing for a year, Johnny Depp managed to break the record for the weekend box ofﬁce while the U.S. Soccer Team didn’t break any, the bikini turned sixty, and as you were lighting off bottle rockets, Kim Jung Il decided to ﬁre a few of his own ﬁreworks except these were a lot more expensive. Okay, maybe
more of his energy to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for philanthropy and Matthew McConaughey for selling his ’71 corvette this summer for charity, but besides those little exceptions, it is all down from there. World peace did not happen again this summer, sad to say; in fact, former CIA Informant Bob Baer announced
in order to become what we want to become. Being that is the case, we dish out BS like it’s a banana split on a dog day afternoon and we eat it up just the same. Everybody furnishes their own share of Grade A baloney. How many times has your Grandpa told you about the time he went ﬁshing in Missouri and caught a ﬁsh
See “Bull...” - pg. 4
Also In This Issue:
Fair or Fumble, We Tackle It All
Ain’t God Good To Indiana Sizzling Summer Headlines Continuing Crisis Purdue Rifle and Pistol Club How to Talk Liberal Campus Diversions Football For Fair-Weather Fans Pg. 02 Pg. 05 Pg. 06 Pg. 07 Pg. 09 Pg. 11 Pg. 12
THE PURDUE REVIEW
Surrounded by the jumping squirrels and falling leaves of Fall... Welcome From the Purdue Review
Dear Reader, This issue of the Purdue Review marks our fourth edition to date. Many struggles and challenges have been overcome to publish this paper again for our readers. This paper is the result of ideas from many students here at Purdue and has been in the works for quite some time. It is, however, a miracle that we are where we are at today. There is a little history behind our publication; it all started a few years back when a few Purdue students attempted to publish their own paper entitled The Independant. They ended up producing only 2 issues that I am aware of, but nevetheless, were somewhat of an inspiration to some of us. Our paper, in that tradition, has strived to be independent and somewhat conservative while still holding to the journalistic values of fairness that we believe are crtical to quality work. To our credit, this paper has made it to three successful issues which brings us great joy - managing to make it further than our predecessors. This paper was born out of the inspiration of a few college kids who were interested in being able to read something of a heavier nature, that went beyond that of your standard newspaper. You might be asking yourself as you read this paper, “are these guys really this wierd”, or maybe “do these peolpe have anyhting better to do with their time?” Well, these are all valid questions and I would say to you - yes, some of us are a little wierd and we could be doing other things with our time. However, there is also something wholesome about reading the work of your friends and peers, and that you yourself have put time into. I hope that while reading this paper some of our ideas will speak to you. We are not trying to change all of your opinions, we are merely letting you know how we feel on the subject. Maybe you agree with us or maybe you don’t. That’s perfectly ﬁne, we would ask though that you send us a letter and let us know how you feel about an issue or topic that is raised within this paper. Voice your concerns and opinions and we will gladly post them in our next issue. Thank you for reading and enjoy your summer break. Your Obedient Servant, Nathan Arnold
NATHAN ARNOLD Editor-in-Chief SCOTT SOWERS Managing Editor JEFF SCHULTZ Features Editor SCOTT SOWERS Layout Editor NEAL EVANS Staff Writer ADAM DOERR Staff Writer MARK DUDLEY Staff Writer RACHEL SEMMEL Staff Writer CHASE SLAUGHTER Staff Writer COLLIN LEWIS Graphic Designer NEAL EVANS Photography CHASE SLAUGHTER Publisher
The Purdue Review P.O. Box 3851 West Lafayette, IN 47996 PurdueReview@gmail.com
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MISSION STATEMENT The editorial staff at The Purdue Review will utilize the medium of print to entertain, educate and enlighten the student body at Purdue University as well as the entire Greater Lafayette community.
DISCLAIMER The views expressed within these pages are the views held expressly by each respective writer. The opinions of these writers do not necessarily reﬂect the opinions of any of the other writers in this publication nor by Purdue University. This paper is in not afﬁliated with Purdue University; however, the staff is comprised entirely of Purdue students.
We would also like to extend our most gracious appreciation to the loggers who felled the magestic old growth redwood trees that comprise the substance of these pages. - God Bless Sky over Purdue, Photo by Neal Evans
The Purdue Review
September, 2006 this State. Drive and ﬁnd the things that make Indiana Indiana. See things like Amish Country and the old West Baden Springs Hotel (once called the 8th wonder of the world). Find the people that make this State great - farmers, business leaders, laborers, factory workers, attorneys and every thing in between. Find this State and I guarantee that you will ﬁnd a home that you will come to love and adore, because as the great Hoosier journalist William Herschell once wrote: “Ain’t God Good to Indiana, Folks, a feller never knows Just how close he is to Eden Till sometime, h ups an’ goes.”
3 Like a mother gives a child; They don’t soothe you, soul an’ body, With their breezes soft an’ mild. They don’t know th’ joys of Heaven Have their birthplace here below; Ain’t God good to Indiana? Ain’t He, fellers? Ain’t He, though? ~William Herschell~
Ain’t God Good to Indiana
By Chase Slaughter Through my summer travels I found one relentless theme: I longed for my Indiana home. I was born and raised in Indiana, less than thirty miles from where my family originally settled some 200 years ago. Indiana is my home and I have deep, deep roots here; roots that I am very proud of. Your ﬁrst time in Indiana may very well have been when you moved into your dorm room here at Purdue or you may was when I realized how much I love this State. I have had a long love-affair with Indiana, but sometimes I just forget how much I love her. She’s home. She’s full of the people that I love. Hoosiers are a great and resilient group of people. They are people who generally care about their neighbor and help those who are in need. This great (albeit small) State of ours has something
Ain’t God Good to Indiana?
Ain’t God good to Indiana? Folks, a feller never knows Just how close he is to Eden Till, sometime, he ups an’ goes Seekin’ fairer, greener pastures Than he has right here at home, Where there’s sunshine in the clover An’ honey in th’ comb; Where the ripples on th’ river Kinda chuckles as they ﬂow-Ain’t God good to Indiana? Ain’t He, fellers? Ain’t He, though? Ain’t God good to Indiana? Seems to me He has a way Gittin’ me all outta humor Just to see how long I’ll stay When I git th’ gypsy feelin’ That I’d like to ﬁnd a spot Where the clouds ain’t quite so restless, Or th’ sun don’t shine so hot. But, I don’t git far, I’ll tell you, Till I’m whisperin’ soft an’ low: Ain’t God good to Indiana? Ain’t He, fellers? Ain’t He, though? Ain’t God good to Indiana? Other spots may look as fair, But they lack th’ soothin’ somethin’ In th’ Hoosier sky and air. They don’t have that snug-up feelin’
Contact Chase at firstname.lastname@example.org
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have lived here your entire life. You may see Indiana as your home or you may see it as a brief stop on the highway that is your life. But wherever you’re from and wherever you’re going, you have one thing in common: You’re here now! I was driving home on I-65 just a couple of days ago. The sun was setting in the West over the corn ﬁelds and there was just beginning to get a nip in the air and it
for everyone. We have the rolling hills of Southern Indiana and lakes of Northern Indiana. We have the large cities of Indianapolis and Fort Wayne and numerous small towns. We have religious groups innumerable and the kindest people that you will ﬁnd. I challenge you, no matter how long you’ve been here and no matter how long you’re staying to ﬁnd this State - explore
Letter to the Editor
To Whom It May Concern: First, I want to thank you for bring more input to the marketplace of ideas. While I disagree with many of the opinions in the paper, I respect the mission of your group. At the same time, I think you would admit there is an obvious conservative slant to many of the opinions, and I suspect this is done unapologetically. However, it is dangerous to achieve a reputation for being one-sided if your intent is to get people to actually read your articles. No reasonable person could rely on WorldNet Daily or Agape Press to accurately report the news. I seriously doubt any article they have written has actually changed someone’s mind because the only people who read it probably already have the opinion of the outlet. That said, if you want people to take you seriously, I recommend showing a tad more diversity of opinion. Where I think your opinions lack most is the absence of examples and reasoning. While by no means a comprehensive list, here are a few laughable arguments that probably did little to change anyone’s opinion: Protesters are screwing up Indiana? Is this for real? It’s ironic that you mention how they will not change anyone’s mind and then proceed with no good examples of why they are screwing up Indiana, therefore leaving most people unconvinced. People looking like a bunch of hippies with ﬂags and banners are the 9th worst group in Indiana? The reasoning here non-existent. John Mellencamp stating anti-war criticisms is destroying Indiana? Surely anyone who goes to a concert knows that the artists do more than just sing. If you don’t like it, buy the CD. And I think the actual war has destroyed Indiana, in terms of lives and money, more than someone criticizing it ever could. So he doesn’t like Bush. So does a large percentage of the country now. You seem to suggest that dissenting from the president will ruin us. I purpose that the right to dissent is the only thing that keeps us from ruin. ICLU costing Hoosiers lots of money? I notice no number was mentioned when stating how much money they get from attorney fees. If they did, it one would point out how this is a drop in the bucket to how much Indiana and the United States spend on defense. Besides, the Thomas More Law Center, a Christian law ﬁrm that claims it is an answer the ACLU, collects attorney fees in cases that it wins. ANWR is not the answer to this country’s energy needs. Sure 5.9 – 13.2 billion barrels of oil sounds like a lot. But you didn’t put this in perspective. First, one barrel of oil does NOT equal one barrel of gasoline. It makes more like 20 gallons, which already cuts the gas we might get from ANWR in half to about 10 billion barrels of gas. Second, it would take about 10 years to actually get this gas since so much equipment needs to be installed and it is only feasible to construct about half the year in Alaska. Last, and most importantly, is that the United States uses about 146 billion gallons of gas a year and growing. Therefore, it might supply 1 years worth of gas 10 years from now. So I ﬁnd it a downright lie that your article states that ANWR would provide a perfect solution to our energy crisis and would provide economic security. Please be responsible and present all the facts next time instead of wowing people with big numbers, because there are much bigger numbers outside of ANWR. Thanks for your time, Ardimus Litzenberg Dear Reader, The Purdue Review staff would like to thank everyone for their comments and suggestions. They were both insightful and humorous for us to read. Whether we agree or disagree with the responses, we will attempt to take to heart some of your concerns and ideas and continually improve our paper as the year continues. -The Editorial Staff
THE PURDUE REVIEW
September, 2006 bullshit this past summer. Director Bryan Singer and writers Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris gave reasoning to the decision as to why they had the term extricated because they wanted to bring a global appeal to the caped icon. I don’t know about you, but to me it smells like BS. A prime example of our current descent into a national malaise; because what is the American Way according to liberals like Singer, Dougherty, and Harris? Killing people for oil, fabricating enemies around the globe, tyrants who rip off the poor and honest people while fattening themselves with the riches of over half the world, nothing more than just a bunch of plundering pirates berating from port to port. And if you are the creators of Superman Returns, you certainly do not like pirates. Lex Luther bitterly puts into perspective the true feelings saying in the ﬁlm, “Gods are selﬁsh beings who ﬂy around in little red capes and don’t share their power with mankind.” If you freely exchange the word “Gods” from the anti-Americanism than the world’s… but given enough time, they’ll remake the world with anti-semitic, anti-American, anti-righteousness brainwashing.” It’s true. There are still people out who believe in the American way for what it always has been. But why am I nitpicking so much on this topic? Well, it might be that media is one of the big advocators as to why anti-Americanism is occurring. In fact, it is less likely to be contempt from foreign countries. Hollywood gossip columnist Jeanne Wolf reports in her article “Frankly, we ﬁnd more anti-Americanism in the West Side of L.A. than we do in the average person we encounter overseas. People in the rest of the world think that patriotism is a normal human emotion, and ﬁnd it odd that America’s immensely wealthy and immensely privileged cultural elites have such trouble demonstrating it in their own ﬁlms.” By now, you are probably thinking of
4 one partying that weekend. Mel Gibson was not seeing the signs of when to lose the booze and irked the Jewish community for lamenting anti-semantic remarks. Now he will be spending the rest of his life cleaning up you-know-what BS. Don’t hassle the Hoff, but he also was accused of partying too much that weekend and being too drunk to ﬂy home. But the usual celebrity messups were not the worse things to happen that weekend. Nothing says American like a county fair and of course you can’t have a fair without a fair queen. You’re young, hot, intelligent, and extreely talented. What could possibly stand between you and the crown? How about an impromptu question about America? It happened at the Porter County Fair when a young woman spoke proudly about the leaders of this country ensuring the security for the freedoms we hold so dear. You can bet your life that is not what the crowd wanted to hear. I haven’t heard as many boos since Purdue’s football season last year. It saddens me that we can’t even express ourselves without being curtailed by the endless moping from anti-Americans. The real dilemma coming to grips, and I’m sure you have heard it all before, is that we are losing our right to speech and the right to believe whatever we want. That’s no bull. It is becoming harder and harder to stand up for what you believe in. The Rasmussen Report cited from their August 2006 survey that fewer people are afﬁliating themselves with a political party. The biggest dropout has been in the Republican category, dropping more than 3% in the last year alone. Those who claim to be unafﬁliated have increased to 30.8%, the highest it has ever been since Rasmussen has been releasing data. There can be an explanation for all this and that is we don’t want to be found to blame. People can and do make judgments about you. Since your party is out for money, war, and oil and only care about themselves, you must be out for that too. Yes, it is completely my fault that Israel s attacking Lebanon and that gas is $3.25 a gallon this summer!! Americans, get a grip and articulate your beliefs. Stop focusing your attention to bringing each other down. You are only adding on to the BS instead of eliminating it and it’s only making things worse. Remember that America is a democracy and that means you are in politics whether you like it or not. You have the power to step in. That was not only the dream of your founding fathers but it was also their gift. I don’t think crushing each other down as far as they can go was a part of that. My counter points will deny it but they would certainly be more than happy if we kept our mouths shut. What happens if these haters of America get their wish? What will that mean for democracy? I wouldn’t want to go as far to say communism as some conservative critics, but I can guarantee you we are headed for some sort of revolution. Of course the answer will be we wouldn’t have to whine so much if you guys actually did something right for once. What can you do? In politics, there is no such thing as a good decision. The only thing that comes close are debatable ones. Even if we would know for certain what the best decision is, we would still have some people grumbling. You might be able to relate to the phrase “the good, the bad, and the ugly.” We have both the bad and the
FROM PAGE 1
thing. BS is meant to deceive by bending the truth a little without telling a lie. It’s all a choice of words that BS artists know too well. For example, President Bush has announced to the public that Congress has learned or has been informed (instead of saying “we ﬁrmly conclude...”) that Saddam Hussein is concealing weapons of mass destruction is in fact the truth. The fact that Saddam Hussein has weapons could be a lie. Think about it in simpler terms. If someone told you that all parking at Purdue was free and it wasn’t true it would certainly be false information. But what is true that you “learned” what your friend had told you. Now when you tell your other friend that you learned Purdue was offering all parking spaces for free, it would be taken for granted by your friend to be true. You did not lie but you were carrying deceit with you. It doesn’t matter what the intention of the lie was. What is important that words can deceive us and good BSers know exactly of how to use them to their advantage. The media is pristine at BSing artistry. Americans are under the impression that newspapers, TV, and the internet could never in a million years lie to the general public because that is what they are supposed to do, to inform you correctly and solemnly. Be careful of what you read. Even yours truly has taken a few fulsome claims in my publishing career to make myself look more favorable. The media knows how they can get their point across exactly the way they want. It is made to confuse and deceive, creating a web of deception. And the silk glands have not even begun to dry out. America is falling into a dark time. Gas prices are still higher than they were, speculations that we will need to reinstate a draft to ﬁll our military numbers as ﬁghting continues, doing away with social security, a possibility of nuclear war, a falling economy, FISA taking away our right to privacy, our free speech becoming more and more limited, immigration numbers out of control, and for some reason we are still having a time exhausting ourselves to ban The Da Vinci Code from the face of the earth. No matter where you stand, politics is a nasty sport. The BS that follows with it is devastating our pride because we are consistently withdrawing our true feelings from these issues. For one thing, it’s confusing to even know what the difference is between right and wrong decisions. Politics today is not black and white. And to make matters worse, the rest of the world hates us. We’ve been #1 so long that people around the world are anxious to see us falter, including some Americans. Optimistic is not the word most Americans would use to describe their country. We’re losing faith in our country, which is exactly what the terrorists want us to do. Americans are no longer blaming the terrorists. They are blaming Americans. And this time, they got it right. America is in desperate need of a hero and I’m afraid Superman just won’t cut it. Even the man of steel has turned his back on us when his writers of Superman Returns decided to drop the words “the American way” out of his slogan, leaving conservative fans a little TO’d. Instead, he now stands for “truth, justice, and all that stuff.” There you have it. Our celebrated legacy has ofﬁcially turned into plain ol’
sentence with Americans, it seems to ﬁt perfectly with what their perspective was. Los Angeles Times correspondent Jonah Goldberg explains further by saying, “What is disturbing is that ‘the American way’ now seems to have become code for arrogant unilateralism that falls somewhere outside truth, justice and all that is good [as it did before in the New Deal era].” Alas, this is what much of America sees in itself everyday thanks to the media. How can you feel good about your country when the view is that? If there is anyone who hates America, it is Hollywood Liberals. Heroes like Superman are for America especially because they embody the merits they stand for; democracy, leadership, sacriﬁce, heart. Patriotism is abound in ﬁlms like Spiderman and it earned twice as much its comic compadre. It turns out that the kryptonite is in their court. Looks like your foolproof plan didn’t work this time Hollywood. As one blogger on the Libertas website concluded, “Dropping ‘The American Way’ from that slogan is bull, and has more to do with Hollywood’s
me to be a little hypocritical. I am nitpicking other nitpicks simply for nitpicking. That’s okay according to most people. We do it all the time here in America taking our turns bullshitting bullshit. Even cute and innocent Lindsay Lohan has claimed bullshit on bullshit (well, at least her mother has) on the hard truth brought to her that her actions are “unprofessional” and “irresponsible.” Morgan Creek Productions CEO, James G. Robinson, claimed Lohan’s heat exhaustion the last weekend in July was not due to the roasting California heat but because that the little party animal was out all night clubbing. Lohan’s mother Dina came to her defense saying Robinson’s letter was “too much” BS. After the agony of being hospitalized on Wednesday, Lindsay should have taken it easy and spend an evening watching America’s Got Talent (and maybe take some notes). But just her luck (no pun intended), because she is such a “wonderful child,” Lindsay deserved to go out to Las Vegas that same weekend for some more partying. Everybody’s favorite mean girl was not the only
See “Bull...” - pg. 5
The Purdue Review
September, 2006 just like some of the investment ﬁrms he was working for. “Clients will pay money even when things are bad as long as tell them the truth. People [want] to see the real you. All he had to do to improve the company’s image is put his face to the business of someone they could trust. The more happy investors we have the better the country is off,” Schwab saying what he has learned. Trust is what America needs. But how can you trust a liar? Simply by learning to trust them. John J. Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago prepared an essay entitled Lying in International Politics for the American Political Science Association’s Annual Meeting in 2004. In his essay, he identiﬁes four forms of lying in politics: Inter-State lying, fear-mongering, nationalist mythmaking, and anti-realist lying. Inter-state is used to ward off enemies. Think of it as posting a beware of dog sign in your front yard when you don’t have a dog. We call our dog Nuke and nobody is going to mess with him, even though he may or may not exist. Fearmongering is when the government takes advantage of the public since the masses make it hard to execute a smart and bold policy. The Bush administration can turn up the terror alert to create the impression that threat is imminent. Putting America on alert will make us trust the government more. Want to get more money for defense spending? Let’s go to orange and no one will notice. This is the only time where the draft can be reinstated. If 9/11 were to happen again, going to war will be more appealing to us. Fear-mongering sometimes is the only way to warn the American public because our constitution is not set up for quick defense. It is also the most dangerous form of lying that can yield large amounts of contempt from the politic (which is probably why this article is being written). Political deception also exists in forms of spinning and concealment or what we call bullshit. Spinning is when politics can be found accountable for every allegation against them and yet they still can create a beautiful picture of themselves. Bush uses “spinning” when he reviews the progress of the war, reciting only the good details and leaving the bad ones out. If he wasn’t criticized so much, he wouldn’t have to lie to us. Just like a showbiz, image is everything in politics. The irony of the subject is if something was to happen and we were ready, America would not care if the government did intentionally lie to us. Still, if the government was straightforward and guileless the ﬁrst ten times, that doesn’t mean it wound be the same for the eleventh time. The biggest consequences of lying is that it makes it difﬁcult for the people in a democracy to make informed choices when they vote on issues and candidates, simply because they would be making their judgment on false or misleading information. Even policy makers can’t trust each other. BS threatens the rule of law, which is the core of democracy. Lying, apart from BS, is also seen simply as a trait of adaptation. In nature, the chameleon will change with its surroundings to camouﬂage itself from predators. The hungry female ﬁreﬂy will signal what appears to be a mating ﬂash for an unsuspecting male on the prowl, but the only afternoon delight will be him for lunch. With humans, there is a whole new level when it
5 comes to lying. It includes codes of morals and ethics enriched in our religious beliefs. But still, the reasons why we like are for our own survival just like nature. Although many would agree that lying is never the right thing, it is completely beneﬁciary. When the government lies to us, it is motivated not to steer you in the wrong path but the right one. Of course there are a few politicians who will cause more harm than good, but this is the reason why we are a democracy so we can rule him or her out. And believe it or not, it still works. I think this summer we lost sight of one thing and that is we are nation. A group of people who live and work together, watching out for each other, a people who stand together for what is right in the world. We might be divided in our beliefs but luckily we share the same goal. We can get to that goal not by deceitful or cunning ways but simply by doing what is right. It is our duty to carry on the work of those who already have laid down their lives to preserve our way of life. One thing we all must realize is that to achieve great righteousness, we have to make great sacriﬁces. Keep carrying that still same dream of all those great heroes who framed our constitution instead of the dreams others driving us into the next world war. Don’t let others bring you down, America. Don’t let fear keep you in the deep end. Get off your rubber raft, dry off, and get ready to stand up for what you believe in. That is the American Way. Just because Superman doesn’t stand for it doesn’t mean you can’t. Contact Jeff at email@example.com
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ugly, but never the good. Is it right to use bombs and missiles resulting in causalities on both side in the ﬁght for a free Iraq? I can say that is not a good decision but that has been the quintessential question of debate for the past three or four years. There is both good and bad in that question. Are we in need for stricter immigration laws? That one is also an ugly question. Should we do away with social security? No, no, certainly not now. Was it good for President Bush to tell Lebanon that we would ask the Israelis to stop their attack being that we are allies with Israel? No, because we are going to piss Israel off for siding with the Lebanese and soon we’ll have another enemy. Lord knows the U.N. won’t do anything about it. I’m going to have to say it again; politics is a nasty sport. It’s no news that there is corruption in politics. To say that there is not one single honest being in politics is simply outlandish. But then again, everybody is a liar. In fact, you have to lie in order to be a successful politician because it is so embedded in lies that there is no truth almost. This fact is very tragic because Americans desperately want someone who is honest. There are few exceptions where being honest and successful. Take Charles Schwab for example who talks about the issue in the August 2006 edition of Readers Digest. Charles Schwab had to reconcile on what he should do whether it be for the good of the business or the good of the customer when he was tempted to bullshit
Sizzling Headlines of the Summer of 2006
According to an aide to Iraq’s prime minister Nuri al-Maliki, the leader of AlQaeda in Iraq and one of the world’s most wanted men, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was killed by a U.S. air raid.
China and Russia resist efforts by the United States and Japan to move a motion in the United Nations Security Council to impose sanctions on North Korea over its missile tests. One of the six missiles tested was aimed at a point in the ocean close Hawaii.
The team for 2006 Tour de France winner Floyd Landis announces that he failed a drug test during the race, with high levels of testosterone.
Russian Pulkovo Airlines Flight 612, carrying 160 passengers and 10 crew members, crashes in Ukraine, leaving no survivors.
Fidel Castro temporarily transfers the duties of the Cuban presidency to brother Raúl during a surgical operation.
The International Astronomical Union announces declares a new deﬁnition of what a planet is, giving Pluto the shaft stating its status of a “dwarf planet.” This decision reduces the number of known major planets in the solar system to 8.
Bill Gates, Chairman of the Microsoft Corporation announces he will step down from his daily duties in 2008. He wants to shift his daily life to his charity, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
Italy defeats France in the ﬁnal game of the FIFA World Cup.
August 1 July 10
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest scores a gross of $135 million in its ﬁrst weekend of release, passing up the record of $114 million held by Spiderman. Tropical Storm Chris forms east of the Lesser Antilles, prompting the issuance of tropical storm warnings for ten islands as well as tropical storm watches for Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.
Saddam Hussein’s principal defense lawyer, Khamis al-Obeidi, is assassinated in Baghdad.
Tropical Storm Ernesto hits Florida just after the one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. Governor Jeb Bush earlier in the week declared a state of emergency fearing it might turn into a hurricane as well after it reached Cuba.
The United States House of Representatives votes to end a 25-year ban on offshore drilling.
News Corp’s MySpace.com surpasses Yahoo! Mail for the ﬁrst time, and has become the number-one most visited website in the United States.
Oil price futures hit a record high for one blend of crude oil (Brent crude) after BP found corrosion damage to the Alaskan pipeline and cut production in Prudhoe Bay 50%.
Steve Irwin, “The Crocodile Hunter”, is killed by a stingray while ﬁlming a documentary on Australia’s Great Barrier Reef.
The Supreme Court of the United States rules in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld that the Bush Administration has no authority to try detained prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay by military tribunal, and that the proceedings violate the Geneva Convention as well as the US constitution.
Conﬂict of Israel and Lebanon erupts after the kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers by Hezbollah militants. The result is the deadliest ﬁghting in the area in over twenty years.
Scotland Yard announces the arrest of 21 people in connection with a terrorist plot to blow up aircraft ﬂying from the United Kingdom to the United States.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair makes a statement saying he will resign his tenure before next year.
July 16 July 4
Space Shuttle’s Discovery ﬁnally launches at 2:38 pm EST after a 3 inch crack found in the foam insulation of its external tank halted the shuttle’s original take off. It is reported that Tropical Storm Bilis killed at least 115 people when it hit southeastern China on Friday, July 14.
John Mark Karr is arrested in Bangkok for the 1996 murder of U.S. child beauty queen JonBenét Ramsey. He turned out to be a child molesting liar.
THE PURDUE REVIEW
The Continuing Crisis
The American Spectator, © July/August 2006. By R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. May slipped into the rearview mirror of history as Republican politicos grew increasingly alarmed that their “political base” will be in grumpy repose come the November elections. Conservatives are divided by the controversy over illegal aliens. They are offended by prodigal congressional spending. And a new political element looms on the horizon, “Hurricane Season.” Throughout the month the screamers of the Kultursmog warned of its approach and of its possible political consequences, especially for Republicans. Precisely what the conservative position should be on Hurricane Season remains in doubt. Possibly Mr. Bill O’Reilly, the nocturnal blowhard at the Fox News network, will duly excogitate a proper conservative position. He is today’s William F. Buckley Jr. and probably the Twenty-First Century’s Edmund Burke. At any rate, by the end of May President George W. Bush’s approval ratings had fallen to historic lows, and there is almost no chance he will improve them with a slutty intern crisis. Yet the Democrats have their Angry Left to contend with, and anyone who has contemplated its obscenity-laced vituperations recognizes that these people can be difﬁcult and often in need of mouthwash. Call them the Halitotic Left. They compose the Democrats’ political fundament and they are even gloomier than the Republicans’ conservatives. Scientiﬁc ﬁndings published early in May are sure to dampen the ardor of the Halitotic Left for politics, especially those who rant for former Vice President Al-Gore. According to a four-year study released by the British Ministry of Defense, Unidentiﬁed Flying Objects (UFOs) are not objects at all. Nor do they ﬂy. They are mere atmospheric illusions produced by plasmas of gas driven mad by electrical charges. In sum, there are no ﬂying saucers or even ﬂying colanders. In point of fact, the UFO movement was petering out even before the publication of this report. The number of UFO sightings has declined dramatically. At this year’s 40th annual National UFO Conference only 80 people showed up, despite the fact that the conference was held in Los Angeles, California. Once thought to be a major source for funding the Democratic Party and for acquiring party activists, the UFO movement in the mid-1970s had the vocal support of a Democratic president, the incomparable Mr. Jimmy Carter. During the 1976 presidential campaign he talked openly of his own personal UFO sighting. It took place in Leary, Georgia, on the evening of January 6, 1969, at 7:15 p.m. What Jimmy was doing out that late at night has never been explained. Still, it is the judgment of the British Ministry of Defense that all he saw that night was plasma dancing and undulating from an electrical goose. Perhaps this depressing news explains the fevered antics of Mr. Al-Gore. He went to the Cannes Film Festival for the premier of his documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, which portrays the planet earth as becoming the kind of Caribbean hot spot that he and his friends jet off to in wintertime. After Cannes the sun-tanned former vice president jetted on to the United Kingdom where at the Hay Festival he warned of an imminent “planetary emergency.” Wearing an open-collared work shirt, but clean shaven and without a turban, the glassy-eyed energumen bawled that his fellow earthlings face a “danger which could bring the end of civilization”—no more Hip-Hop. Prime-time television will be off the air! The songs of Mr. Michael Jackson and his historic “Moonwalk” will be inaccessible to educated Americans. The world will fall dark. All this will be vouchsafed by Global Warming, our “planetary emergency.” Yet there is a solution: international regulation of the global economy, taxes, and technological innovation. One such innovation might be for the Gore administration—when it comes into being in 2009—to construct giant air conditioners around every American city of over 50,000 inhabitants. For cities of 50,000 and fewer the Gore administration could distribute room fans and bring back the days when ice trucks visited every neighborhood. On the other hand we might all take our shirts off or even better become nudists and under penalty of law desist from wearing those goofy baseball caps with their bills turned backwards. Those caps have got to be very hot. Is there on this earth another Homo ridiculus the like of Mr. Al-Gore? There is. He is Mr. Gayadhar Parida and he lives in a tree in Kuligaon, Orissa, in the Indian subcontinent. He is an octogenarian and he moved into his tree 50 years ago after a quarrel with his wife. It was over a “tiny issue,” this smelly old man conﬁded to a reporter from the respected Mumbai Mirror. At the outset of his arboreal sojourn Mr. Parida might have stayed out on a limb only a few days, but “I felt spiritualism had developed in my body.” And so he lives up in a tree with poisonous snakes and very little to occupy his mind other than the grim thought that his tree cannot last forever. His ﬁrst tree fell over in a storm and nearly squashed him. Obviously his vision of catastrophe is not much different from that of Mr. Al-Gore, and the Indian zany uses a lot less energy. In Arkadelphia, Arkansas, that exotic chicken saved from drowning three months ago when Miss Marian Morris administered mouth-to-beak resuscitation is no more. The bird, known locally as Boo Boo, gave up the ghost but not before laying three eggs, one of which has borne fowl. Former President Bill Clinton has agreed to write yet another book for his publisher, Alfred A. Knopf. Reputedly it will “lift spirits,” “touch hearts,” and probably other parts of the body too. Mr. Robert Barnett, Mr. Clinton’s literary representative, conﬁrmed that Mr. Clinton had considered an offer from another publisher to write a biography of Abraham Lincoln until he recalled the subject’s nickname, “Honest Abe.” In Nashville, Tennessee, only 20 people showed up at what was billed as the National Kickoff for Hillarynow.com, a grass-roots effort to draft Mr. Clinton’s wife for a 2008 presidential run. Two hundred stalwarts had been expected, and doubtless the Department of Homeland Security was ready for many more. Though disappointed, local organizer Miss E. Gayle O’Hanlon, proprietor of the Enchanted Eatery, said, “We can build something from this,” suggesting that next time 25 or even 30 Hillaryites might show up. At this writing it is not clear whether the Enchanted Eatery is a health food store or a New Age church. Three Russian outdoorsmen suffered embarrassment when the dynamite they were carrying in their tackle box blew the roof off a railway car they were riding between Vladivostok and Ussurisk, the site of their ﬁshing camp. The three intended to use the dynamite to participate in an increasingly popular pastime practiced by Russian gentlemen anglers, to wit: dynamite ﬁshing. The sport involves detonating charges in the open waters of large ponds or lakes and harvesting the stunned ﬁsh before they swim away. It is roughly equivalent to the Western practice of ﬂyﬁshing, though noisier. In Schleiden, Germany, police are contemplating animal cruelty charges against the thieves who stole Miss Theresa Carl’s Maltese terrier and possibly charges of ﬂag desecration. “They must have taken little Simba from my garden,” Miss Carl explained. “I bet some horrid football fans did this to him.” When the dog was found he was clearly bewildered and had been freshly painted with the black, red, and gold stripes of the German ﬂag. Finally, feminists in Nassau County, New York, are bound to be offended by the talking urinals that local authorities are installing in bars to remind men not to drink and drive. When approached by a needy patron these pub devices shout in a deep male voice, “Hey, You! Yeah, you. Having a few drinks? Then listen up. Think you had one too many? Then it’s time to call a cab or call a sober friend.” There has been no attempt to rotate the male voice with a woman’s voice. Every news show in America has a woman’s voice along with a man’s voice. The toilets of Nassau County will be next! R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. is founder and editor in chief of The American Spectator. www.spectator.org
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Monthly Featuring of a Purdue Student Group : The Purdue Rifle and Pistol Club
It was a cold, rainy, Monday evening. I was not feeling very adventurous as I walked over the Purdue armory. Earlier in the day I was feeling good about my desire to attend a meeting of the Purdue Riﬂe and Pistol Club. Now I was not so sure. I had never been in the Purdue armory, and going to a club where shooting is the main focus seemed like a bit of a risk. When I ﬁnally walked in the uncertainty only grew. In front of me I saw the big gymnasium where all ROTC cadets were practicing. There was no sign of the existence (ﬁguratively, and literally) of a Riﬂe and Pistol club anywhere. Well, where should I go? I had three options, right, left, or downstairs. The only directional device was a sign pointing downstairs that said, “Men’s restroom.” For lack of a more viable option, I chose this route. The downstairs certainly looked like an armory, it had a rustic kind of feel, with pipes running along the ceiling and a dark concrete ﬂoor, but still there was no indication of a Riﬂe and Pistol Club. Around the corner was the Men’s restroom. Beside it, I saw a room that looked like some kind of janitor’s closet. I stood there puzzling for a bit when I heard voices coming from this room. I began catching bits and pieces of conversation. Key words such as “gun,” “shooting,” and “hunting” alerted me that this was the right place. So I walked in I noticed four other members chatting amongst themselves. The room had the feeling of a closet, with a collection of safes, boxes, and shelves stacked against the wall. But the conversation was lively, at least among the people who knew each other, the regular attendees. Newcomers like myself stood waiting for someone to tell else what would happen next. Eventually I ﬁgured out that all newcomers had to get a safety brieﬁng before they could shoot. It was a good thing that I arrived on time, because the ofﬁcer who gave the safety brieﬁngs made it clear that he did not like to give them twice. In the meantime all shooters purchased their ammunition from Tom the treasurer. At one dollar for ﬁfty rounds, the price sounded reasonable although the club members made sure to let us know that they were not the highest quality. I bought one box, and found out that this would be more than I would need. Finally at 7:15, we were able to get our safety brieﬁng. I was not the only new person there. Four other newcomers also attended for their ﬁrst time. Two had no shooting experience at all. Fortunately the club is used to having new people come who have a wide range of experience. The safety brieﬁng took about forty-ﬁve minutes which included signing a couple of papers and a basic discussion of range procedures. The student instructor also discussed elementary safety rules such as always point the gun up, down, or down range. Finally he showed us the various shooting positions. After concluding the session the instructor helped us get set up. Riﬂe shooters received ear plugs (an indoor range is a very loud place), along with a shooting mat. Pistol shooters were set up with ear muffs along with a pistol stand. Then we received the guns. They were all in very good shape, showing signs that they had been taken care of very well. I was able to use a Ruger .22 semi-automatic riﬂe that looked and felt new. The Armory, in case you have never stepped inside, is mainly composed of a big multi-purpose gym several basketball courts long. The gym can be used for a ﬁring range. Stretching along the entirety of the left wall it provides all the room the club needs. Shooters staple the target sheets onto cardboard. From a red line, ﬁfty feet away, I set up my shooting mat and riﬂe. The ten black circles that ﬁll the target sheet were about twice the size of a quarter. Up close that does not seem very hard to hit. At ﬁfty feet, however, they look much smaller. As I looked down the barrel of the gun I realized how much of a challenge hitting one of those circles was going to be. Holding the gun steady and shooting at the exact same spot proved to be quite the challenge. Even though I was not able to consistenty hit a target, I enjoyed myself, relaxed and forgot about homework for half an hour. I found while shooting that the club members were quick to answer any question that I had, whether it was about how to load the gun, or evaluate a target. Great students, good equipment and facilities deﬁnitely made for a good time. Even though I do not plan on competing I will deﬁnitely go back. Twenty-two caliber riﬂe shooting provides a consistently fun challnege. While Purdue only allows .22 riﬂes, in the army the club regularly organizes expeditions down to a gun range in Jasper County. There they bring all their guns, which (from the conversation I heard) sounds like a very impressive collection. There are more than enough guns available for everyone to shoot. If you want to experience what this club is all about, come to one their Monday meetings which always start at 7:00. Some club members prepare for, and participate in competitions, however others just come to take a break from studying to shoot. Any person with a remote interest in shooting is likely to ﬁnd a good time and fun students to hang out with. So come on out and see what the club is all about. More information is available at their website: http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~gunclub/.
Contact Adam at firstname.lastname@example.org
The Top 10 Ways To Tell if Someone is Lying To You
1. Their eyes cast down when they lie. 2. They add too much. 3. Nervous laughter. 4. They feign ignorance about something you know they know. 5. They take charge of the conversation to distract/divert you. 6. They play on your friendship: asking you to just trust them, 7. You sense that something is off; any clue will do. 8. You ﬁnd YOUR eyes squinting and your head angling several degrees. 9. When you ask for an explanation/clariﬁcation, there’s a momentary gap while they conjure up something. 10. Explanations are given, that, while plausible, aren’t good enough for YOU.
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THE PURDUE REVIEW
The Purdue Review
How to Speak Liberal...
Start by obfuscating.
by Fred Barnes 08/14/2006, Volume 011, Issue 45 DURING A GET-TO-KNOW-YOU meeting with the new Treasury secretary, Henry Paulson, last week, a veteran Washington journalist asked about possible bipartisan talks to deal with the growing cost of entitlements. “Would revenues be on the table?” he inquired. Paulson looked puzzled. Another journalist explained that the question was about tax increases. Would they be considered? The questioner had used a word--”revenues”--drawn from the growing lexicon of liberalism. It is a language quite common now in Washington and in liberal political circles, and it’s designed to substitute softer or neutral words for harsher ones with political implications. It is a language of euphemism and, at times, deception. Paulson, by the way, wisely declined to answer the question. The most striking recent example is Democratic representative John Murtha’s plan to “redeploy” American troops from Iraq. His idea, of course, is to pull all the troops out as soon as possible. But “redeploy” makes it sound like a tactical maneuver rather than a move to retreat, to give up, to cut and run. Other Democrats have adopted the word. Murtha, however, is sometimes more candid about what he has in mind, urging “immediate withdrawal” to Okinawa, more than 5,000 miles away from Iraq. The classic substitute of a favorable word is “choice.” No, it has nothing to do with school choice. For liberals, “choice” offers a detour around the touchy word “abortion” with its clear meaning that something is to be aborted or killed--in this case, an unborn child. Those who favor a right to abortion are “pro-choice” and their anti-abortion or pro-life opponents are “anti-choice.” And the pro-abortion group once known as the National Abortion Rights Action League has become NARAL Pro-Choice America. NARAL is not an acronym, according to the group. The ﬁrst “A” stands for nothing and certainly not for “abortion.” In the same vein, on July 19, members of the Association of Trial Lawyers of America approved changing that group’s name to the American Association for Justice. (What about Truth and the American Way?) One thing liberals no longer favor is government “spending,” particularly on domestic programs. Instead, they want government to “invest.” This is what people do in their homes and in stocks and bonds. And for their investment, they get a return. Liberals would have you think that when government agencies spend on-whoops, invest in--domestic programs, the results are similar. Liberals have also pulled a switch on what they call themselves. They’ve ﬁgured out that “liberal” is a pejorative word. In the minds of millions of Americans, it means woolly-headed thinking on every sort of issue. So liberals have morphed into “progressives.” And many of their sympathizers in the media have embraced the name change. Would they do the same if conservatives wanted to call themselves, say, “traditionalists”? I suspect not. At the local level, liberals often go by a different name. They are “activists.” Again, the media have helped popularize that word. So the folks who protest plans to build a Wal-Mart in their town or suburb are “activists.” The people who oppose a zoning change to allow a church to be built are “activists.” What about those who don’t want an abortion clinic in their town? They’re still conservatives. A few liberal euphemisms have embedded themselves ﬁrmly in the broad political vocabulary. Take “afﬁrmative action.” It sounds like a nice thing. In fact, it consists of quotas or racial preferences, things that most Americans don’t think are so nice and for the most part oppose. There’s also a special set of words that apply to Israel, and they all suggest the same thing: the need for pressure by the United States to force Israel to make concessions to Palestinians or other Middle Eastern foes. Newsweek recently urged the United States to get “involved” in the Middle East. Others call for the president to be “engaged” there. An “evenhanded” policy toward the Middle East? That, too, means leaning on Israel. One liberal word hasn’t taken off yet. It’s “lies,” as in supposed untruths told by President Bush. One Bush “lie” was his saying that weapons of mass destruction would be found in Iraq. Bush thought it was true, but it turned out not to be. Does that make it a lie? Another Bush statement labeled a “lie” was his claim in his 2000 campaign to be “a uniter, not a divider.” He believed that, too. So was it a lie? Liberals have failed to persuade very many of that. The liberal transformation of political language won’t be complete until a substitute is found for a word that drives liberals crazy. That word is “patriotism.” On national security, liberals imagine they’re being accused of being unpatriotic (in truth, they aren’t). They have come up with an answer anyway. Dissent, they say, is the highest form of patriotism. Not quite. Dissent may not be unpatriotic, but it certainly isn’t patriotism. Nice try, though. Fred Barnes is executive editor of The Weekly Standard. © Copyright 2006, News Corporation, Weekly Standard, All Rights Reserved.
“By all odds the capital’s most influential journal of opinion these days.” —Vanity Fair, July, 2003
November 7th, 2006
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THE PURDUE REVIEW
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CAMPUS DIVERSIONS - FOR THAT BORING CLASS
Mallard Fillmore by Bruce Tinsley
Curtis by Ray Billingsley
Best described as a number crossword, the task in Kakuro is to ﬁll all of the empty squares, using numbers 1 to 9, so the sum of each horizontal block equals the number on its top. No number may be used in the same block more than once.
It’s not even October, so why has it been so freakin’ COLD??? Advertise Here
Sudoku may seem difﬁcult at ﬁrst glance, but actually it is not as hard as it looks! The rules of Sudoku are that you should ﬁll a number in to every cell in the grid, using the numbers 1 to 9. The restriction is that you can only use each number once in each row, each column, and in each of the 3x3 boxes. For more Sudoku puzzles visit: http://www.sudokuoftheday.com
THE PURDUE REVIEW
Football For Fair-Weather Fans
By Rachel Semmel Phots by Neal Evans While the football season has been here for nearly a month, the majority of fair-weather fans start paying attention this weekend when the Big Ten season kicks off. There are always plenty of fair-weather fans in attendance every home football game simply there for the enjoyment of the ever pervasive pre-game festivities, the tossing about of human anatomy, and the discovery of new and innovative ways to add four letter words into the cheers. However, there will be even more of these fans in attendance this homecoming weekend as class reunions and tailgate parties take preeminence in the weekend agenda. I must quickly state that there is nothing wrong with fair weather fans. In fact, they are a great asset to any sporting event--after all, who else is willing to get you a coke or popcorn when it’s third and long? And of course, who can complain when they leave after the halftime show and free up an extra six inches on the bleachers? Nonetheless, as a diehard fan myself, I truly appreciate the effort many fair-weather fans put into understand at least the basics of football. So, in order to help these fans along in what will hopefully be their conversion to becoming a diehard Boiler football fanatic, here is a reference guide:
Delay of Game
When the time clock (different from the game clock) expires for you to snap the ball or get the right number of players on the ﬁeld. This will cost your team 5 yards.
When the receiver doesn’t catch the ball the quarterback threw to him. When a forward pass hits the ground before anyone can catch it.
When a player on the offense moves before the ball is snapped. This results in a 5 yard penalty.
An illegal act that may cause injury. Examples are late hits, hits to the head, or unnecessary roughness. The penalty is 15 yards. This is tricky to deﬁne since it is not one speciﬁc action, but don’t be discouraged if you get confused—you’ll soon catch on!
Illegally preventing another player from catching a forward pass. If the defense commits pass interference the penalty is that the ball is placed where the foul occurred and they are given a ﬁrst down. If the offense commits the foul it is a 10 yard penalty. This can be a very pricy call for the defense.
This is an illegal move where a player hinders another player from moving by grabbing or hooking is uniform and holding him back. If an offensive player does it the penalty is 10 yards. If the defense does it, the penalty is 5 yards and an automatic ﬁrst down.
Both are 5 yard penalties incurred when either the offensive line or the defensive line cross over into the “neutral zone” before the ball is snapped (the play has started).
Ineligible Reciever Down Field
Not all players are allowed to catch passes. When one of these players not designated on the roster to be a receiver of a forward pass catches one a penalty is assessed. This penalty is 5 yards. Contact Rachel at email@example.com
Two points are given to the team who’s defense tackles the opposing quarterback in the their end zone. (The end zone behind him. Not the one he’s facing). This is not a very frequent occurrence.
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