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Will Protestantism in Time Convert Roman Catholicism?


C E N T R A L I N T E L LI G E N C E (S T U P I D I T Y) A G E N C Y

This essay is dedicated to my beloved Sarah who has been an unfailing infuence in the creation of it...

Roman Catholicism is giving Christianity a very negative renown. A big

pain in its neck. Every day, more and more, Roman Catholicism
materializes as some secret masonic-like group or posh private club,
outbuilding, for male and female perverts. Pope Francis, a jerky Jesuit, is
doing all he can to guarantee that he goes down in Roman Catholic history
as the Catholic prelate who lied the most, so suavely—an ordained cleric
who reached the pinnacle of Roman Catholic authoritarianism. Pagan
cardinals and demoralized priests and nuns, are “praying” that this allegory
turned sour will right itself some way and its sordid memory will pass into
some unknown eternity—in saecula saeculorum. Good luck with that

Heathen priests and heathen nuns, many of them sex criminals and/or
serious problem drinkers, are not the only sore spots on Roman
Catholicism's horizon. Italy, where the HQ of the Vatican city state is
stationed, is boiling over with social, political and economic eruptions that
offer the impression that Italy, piano, piano, is slipping towards a “hard”
anarchy—at best a “soft” one. Italy continues to take wild, unproven, unfair
swipes at the European Union blaming the EU for all its trials and
tribulations. EU commissioners are pulling their hairs out over Italy's
insolence. The immigration/refugee enigma has set Italy off-balance. United
Nations' population projections predict that in the next twenty-fve years,
the African continent will grow from 1,200,000,000 to 2,400,000,000 citizens
—more than enough to fll the gaps left open by European citizens who do
not want to do the “slave” jobs they think should be done by others and not
their childless selves. Slave trading is already a nascent business between
Libyans and Italians—immigrants/refugees are not privy to low-cost RYAN
AIR fights to Italian shores. Will Italy's ports become major slaving centers
as was Liverpool, home of The Beatles, in the 18 th century? Will Africans be
satisfed with being hard workers for a barren Europe, or will they rebel
against The Old Continent for the centuries of exploitation they have had
to endure caused by European industrial nations? Just sick and tired of it!
Vatican City is a stone's throw from African shores. It runs internal risks
from the rambunctious Republic of Italy itself, and external ones from its
nearness to the Dark Continent. What is the logical course of action to be
followed by Roman Catholic think tankers? Obviously, it is to seek a new
home—safe, secure and away from interior and exterior threats. My dear
reader, you've guessed right! The DisUnited States of America (DUS)—the
new home of Roman Catholicism!

Two tricks will have to be pulled out of the top hat. The frst will be to
transfer the accounting offces of Vatican, Inc to Wall Street. There exists
no better place for it! (If you can suggest another one, please raise your
hand!) In New York, Ernst & Young and/or Deloitte can revise the
accounting procedures of Vatican book cookers, keep them on the straight
and narrow, and put Vatican, Inc into the proft column once again.

The next twist will be the conversion of the “Caths” by the “Prots.” There
are 70,412,021 registered Roman Catholics in the DUS. That is 22% of the
overall DUS population. The often fervent Irish, Italian, German, Polish
and Hispanic Roman Catholic population's vote is essential to Donald
Trump's successful 2020 presidential bid. If Donnie, the Devil himself,
manages to, frst, transplant the accounting offces of Vatican, Inc—easier
than saying “Jackie Robinson”—he can then work on incorporating the
Roman Catholic embarrassed ones into the realm of the Protestant church
thinking always to save Roman Catholicism from itself, reinvigorating
Christianity, and taking home the Presidential prize of a two-term residency
in the Oval Offce.

Will Donald Trump, Satan himself, go down in history as the Savior of

Christianity? Will his statue be on view across the world in front of every
Christian place of worship? Amen.

Authored by Anthony St. John

28 August MMXVIII
Calenzano, Italy

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