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Dream Diary From March 2018

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These are non sequitur surreal verses written by Adi Cox in the
style of prose poetry. Each verse is one dream that has been
written down to the best of my ability.

CONTENT.

Spring Chapters
March 2018 --- verses 1-28
April 2018 --- verses 29-55
May 2018 --- verses 56-100

Summer Chapters
June 2018 --- verses 101-132
July 2018 --- verses 133- 182
August 2018 --- verses 183 - 233

Autumn Chapters
September --- verses 234 -
October --- verses
November --- verses

Winter Chapters
December --- verses
January --- verses
February --- verses

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March 2018
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(1) Our Generation.
(2) Scraggy The Ginger Tom.
(3) Moved On.
(4) Fun Night.
(5) To Find A Space.
(6) Walk Away.
(7) Not Really.
(8) Making Work.
(9) A While.
(10) An Event.
(11) Fat Pudding.
(12) Inexplicable.
(13) The Army Of Choice.
(14) Kitchen Classic.
(15) As We Dance.
(16) Flat Box.
(17) The Girl That I Like.
(18) As I Watch Them Play.
(19) Sidelined Into Insignificance.
(20) Bits Of Gossip.
(21) Ancient Symbols Of Division And That Great Divide.
(22) My Imposition.
(23) Our Distraction.
(24) Choc A Lot.
(25) Barbara.
(26) To Find Our Place.
(27) My Silence.
(28) Odd Behaviour.
1-3-18

(1) Our Generation.
At my age in life at fifty two I have learnt all these dance moves to
the sounds of the modern beat. I pick myself up and I put myself
down. I position myself and then I throw myself around. All the
single parent males take note of each other as we teach our
children and we talk about the music styles of our generation as
we jump around:

This is the beat of the Manchester Rave scene. This is the beat of
the Techno Dream. To which at our late age, we pick ourselves up
and then we throw ourselves around.

2-3-18

(2) Scraggy The Ginger Tom.
It is all about the cat. I do my job and I get my rewards, but it is
the cat that needs you. That scrawny cat who watches and waits
with its scraggy fur coat. That ginger fur coat all wet and
dishevelled has seen better days.

There are two almost identical phone numbers. Except one ends
in one four zero and the other ends in one three five. I am looking
at these numbers but I do not know who they are.

3-3-18

(3) Moved On.
The lads are carrying on with the band without me. I have moved
on. I notice that in family room 2 they are playing there and so I
stop around and listen to them. I did not know that there was a
family 2. I knew that there was a family room 1. I have a chat with
a lad from the band but I have moved on.

4-3-18

(4) Fun Night.
This is not my mobile disco. I am just helping someone to run their
disco. There seems to have been an argument. There is a bit of
tension. I have set up the disco in the living room. On the settee
and its two matching comfy chairs. It does not give enough room
for dancers though. There is just enough room for one person on
the dance floor which is just in front of the TV and that space is
taken up by a man sat on a dining room chair. He is a big lad
wearing a white shirt. The family of this household have had an
argument and the various factions of people have split off. The
one older lad is the person sat on the dining chair in front of the
TV. No one else can watch TV now. Someone else in the family is
not happy about this. So there he is sat with his back to us
watching TV. The disco is set up all around him on the three piece
suit. I sense that it is going to be a fun night in this household
tonight. Someone could get extremely cross here.

6-3-18

(5) To Find A Space.
It is all about parking your car up so that you are free. People park
their cars and this is tied in with other things. So it needs to be
clear, it needs to be on its own without distractions, without
having to get your money out all the time. I watch around and I
see others watching those people who park their cars. There are
some frowns. There are some idiots out there who just park
anywhere. It will all come back on them in the end.

8-3-18

(6) Walk Away.
I thought that she was my special girlfriend. We go around to this
lads house, this girl and I. She is as close to him as she has been to
me. Maybe she is close to everyone. They are in a small room
together now. I hear her laughing the way that she laughs with
me. I cannot see what they are doing. I am silent now. I am out of
the picture and so I walk off dejectedly.

I thought that I had a special relationship with the girl, but it
seems to me now that she is special to others also. Her
womanliness is attractive to others too, but I am out of the picture
now as I walk off. I just walk away.

9-3-18

(7) Not Really.
The purpley lens comes out of the sun glasses that I have in my
hands, but not really. I know that this is only in my mind and in my
mouth, as I feel the plastic lens in my mouth, but not really. I know
that this is only in my mind. The plastic rattles around my teeth
tastelessly, but not really. I know that these are only thoughts in
my mind and I do not want to think about them any more.

10-3-18
(8) Making Work.
It is as if there is no gravity. Toby is up on the ceiling touching up
the bumpy white wallpaper that has been pasted up there on the
ceiling and then emulsioned over with white paint. This is the
show piece to get more work and so the work must be done good.

I think to myself: 'Why wallpaper a ceiling? Surely this is making
work for yourself. Surely the ceiling could have just been
emulsioned over in white straight onto the ceiling and that would
have saved having to do a lot of work. Me, I am all about not
making work for myself.'

12-3-18

(9) A While.
Me and my dad are sat in the lounge. In comes my sister Maz.
"Come on you're not sitting there!" She says to us.

I get myself to the bottom of the stairs and tell Maz. "You are not
allowed upstairs. You cannot get past me. I will not let you." And I
poke her in her stomach just to make a point.

Later on Mum and Maz are sat outside in deck chairs soaking up
the summer sun. I go up to them and I give them an ice cream
pastie. "Oh thanks." They respond to my generosity in chorus,
grateful for their treat.

"And here's one for me." I finalise, to make it clear that we all
have our pasties.

There is another deck chair, but the cat is sat on it underneath a
cushion. 'I had better not sit on that cat.' I think to myself and to
my surprise the cat talks back.

"I'm not getting off this chair." He states, just before I grab the
cushion and hit the cat on its back with it. To which the cat then
jumps off the deck chair in a hurry with its black fur all fluffed up.
So now I join Maz and mum sat outside in the sun with an ice
cream pastie and we all while our time away in this glorious
sunshine as we each tuck into our pasties.

13-3-18

(10) An Event.
It is all a bit crazy. If the emergency services get you then you have
had it. I have got myself out onto the top road with a roller of
flares that I drag around with me. There are flares being used all
over and the smoke is drifting around making it difficult to see.
There are people here who take action, who know exactly what
they are doing. Quickly I hear a man and his commentary. I watch
him. He is calm, focused and nifty, as he gets himself across the
top road and then onto the wasteland. I was in two minds, but
then I decide to keep myself on this wasteland out of the way,
because if the emergency services take charge of me then I have
lost my freedom.

14-3-18

(11) Fat Pudding.
I am in the house with mum and dad. We are looking for stuff. We
go around a room and look under the carpet. We look everywhere
for stuff like money. Only I am in front. I think that this is a good
move because I find a better chance of finding stuff with my mum
and dad following me on behind.

"Mum wants you to look out of the window outside. There's an
owl." My dad tells me. I look out of the window into the snow
outside and sure enough this owl flies past the bedroom window.

"WOW!" My dad makes me jump. My dad sounds out loudly in
surprise as he sees the owl too.

My sister Maz is cooking. "We've only got one first course and four
puddings." She tells me jokingly as she laughs.

"I will need another pudding then Maz." I tell her in response
furthering on the joke. She hands me a plate with Cheese 'n' chips
'n' salad cream and as I eat the chips I imagine what the puddings
could be.

16-3-18

(12) Inexplicable.
I am travelling on the bus and you can get rewards back. I have
been looking around, working it all out. I meet someone and tell
them about my position and about the rewards that I have
accrued. It takes skill and you have to know what you are doing
here. It is all a bit vague and you can get lost in the abstract. There
is so much more to all of this than what I am telling you, but it has
all gone now. Lost in a fogginess. Some of my thoughts are left
behind. There are thoughts that I have lost in my memory almost
immediately. There are subtleties that cannot be expressed here, I
am sure about that.
17-3-18

(13) The Army Of Choice.
Ronnie McPherson is asking me all these questions and I am
feeling good as I Know how to answer them. Then he asks me:

"How much money would it cost you to travel by land from China
to Norway if it costs £20 to travel in each country that you go
through?"

"That's easy I've got a map." I tell him.

Then I am told, "The right army is the army of choice."

(14) Kitchen Classic.
This room is hustle and bustle, full of people. I am tidying up after
everyone. I clean the rubbish off the table. There is a perfectly
good circular bread roll with a hole in it. Like a donut. I decide to
fill the bread roll up with whisked egg and then microwave it to
make a scrambled egg roll. I do not know how this will turn out. I
am just concerned about getting egg shell in the mix, but I will
give it a try.

18-3-18

(15) As We Dance.
I miss my girl and I sing this song:

"She was gorgeous
She was my friend
But I wanted more
So it had to end.

I need some neem help."
(Neem is a tree of the mahogany family that grows in India. It is
said to have healing properties.)

"Do you like that helmet?" I am asked by someone who has just
joined me in a dance.

"Yes I do." I reply having forgotten that I was wearing a helmet and
then we dance the night away.

We all decide to go out of the pub. I step outside, then the door
step grows ten feet high. "Do not worry, we will be able to get
back in." I am reassured that I will be able to get back into the pub
later to collect my belongings. She has a brass key that will lower
the step, you see.

19-3-18

(16) Flat Box.
We are having a painting competition. I ask my dad about colour
codes. "Does it really matter?" He asks in reply.

"Yes, you might want to change the colour code if it interferes
with the background." I interject.

"Oh, I see." My dad says thoughtfully and a bit irritated that I am
making this painting competition so complicated.

I paint an unfinished box like I have never painted before. It does
not have all of its sides. It is very parrallelagramish I think to
myself as I stand back and admire my work. It is two right angled
triangles joined together at their adjacents. One of the triangles is
upside down.

20-3-18

(17) The Girl That I Like.
I am running down a long street as fast as I can. Is that a man
running to my left and slightly behind me? The speed that I am
running is astounding and there is something to my left and
slightly behind me that keeps in perfect speed with me down this
long, straight city street. It just keeps up with me. It mirrors my
pace, but what is it?

There are two foreign girls in this shop now. I know which girl I like
the best, but they both admire this man who I do not know, but I
watch them. I see the girls react to this man and so I know that
both of these girls, they adore him.

There is a suit case being carried by this man. He is very
thoughtful about his actions and he justifies all that he does to
those people who are around him. There is some confusion in this
shop at the tills. Then the man leaves this shop. He walks outside
and I watch the rain under the street light as it falls down onto his
suit case.

The two foreign girls are in competition with each other for the
attention of this man. I know which girl I like, but I just spectate. I
am not a party to what is going on. I am not privy to their
affections. I just watch from a distance detached, but I know
which girl I like.

21-3-18

(18) As I Watch Them Play.
There is a lad and a girl called Georgina who are sat around a
piano table. It is like a pool table only there are piano keys all
around the edge of it. They are building up the tension as they are
paying their notes. Georgina is sat at the end of the table and the
lad is sat at the side of the table. He plays the piano keys on the
opposite side of the table reaching over the green baize he plays
his notes upside down. Building up the tension, building up the
fun. Is it a seance? Is it a channel to the spirit world? I do not
know, but it is something like that.

They take it in turns to play their tunes. They go up in pitch with
both of their hands tinkling away. They go through their routines.
It is kind of spooky. They are delving in deep as they go through
the motions. There is a sense of spirit that they reap. They know
what they do now and they tap into it good, as they work off of
each other as how only they could.
22-3-18

(19) Sidelined Into Insignificance.
There are all these light grey plastic pipes for my dreams to go
down. They are the guttering. They are like half cut drain pipes
only with full pipes that are smaller in diameter that go down the
middle of them. I try to fit two bits of guttering on top of one
another, with one of them upside down, but the smaller full pipes
in the middle of this guttering get in the way.

I am in competition with this woman and I have been ushered into
using these pipes. I had to get in fast. I seized this opportunity
quickly to use these pipes, otherwise I would have been sidelined
into insignificance forever.

These pipes are not quite right as I fit them together. I wait
patiently to get some attention, but my waiting is in vain. That
woman is here and she is taking up my time. She is wasting all of
my time. So then ultimately and unavoidably I am sidelined into
insignificance, as I stand there patiently with my light grey plastic
pipe dreams in my hands. I just stand there.

24-3-18

(20) Bits Of Gossip.
It is really vague but I have something to say with grated chocolate
on it. I feel the grated bits of chocolate fall down and land on a flat
paper surface with the sound of many tinkles. Tink. Tink. Tink,
tink, tink. Tink.
25-3-18

(21) Ancient Symbols Of Division And That Great Divide.
I am in some big house, full of people. These people are around
me they are different people to the people who I have known
before. These people are more spiritual than the people who I
have ever known before. Some of them articulate. Some of them
do not. Some may be crackpots. I am making them out. I am quiet.
I am reticent as I take in the feel of this place and I watch the
people and their ways.

I make my way to a railway station. The platform moves. Those
grey concrete slabs and ramps reveal themselves as I walk along,
but I am aware that this railway station is divided into two parts. I
want to get onto the other half of this railway station, but in
between there is a swampy no mans' land full of little tombstones
that are overgrown with nettles. I step onto these little
tombstones. They have rusty metal bars that I stand on as
stepping stones I step across, but the nettles they grow high and
they sting me on my hands. The gravity it pulls me down here like
hands that grab me and pull me down towards the swamp. So as I
try to cross this swampy no mans' land, symbols! Ancient symbols
cross my mind that send chills down into my spine. It is then and
only then that I abandon my journey. I give up my attempt to cross
this divide. Too scared of what might happen. Too wracked with
the anxieties I find in those ancient symbols that permeate into
my mind.

(22) My Imposition.
I am jamming with this bloke. We are both on acoustic guitars. He
has these chords that he plays with this rhythm and I find a few
notes that sound good to it. I make a little tune to his rhythm
guitar.

"Do you want to make that song an instrumental?" I ask him keen
to use his playing for the little tune that I have made up to go
along with his guitar playing.

"No, I have some words that go with that song." He tells me which
stops me dead in my tracks with my idea for an instrumental.

'Maybe he could have his words and then incorporate my little
tune into this song after the words have been sung.' I think to
myself, but I have been dissuaded from mentioning this. He
obviously has his own plans for his guitar music. Who am I to
impose on this?

25-3-18

(23) Our Distraction.
We are in a tiny little car driving around. There is a lot of bickering.
Alan is good at delegating, pointing the finger and passing the
blame. I am driving this little white car, but then I decide to refuse
to drive anymore. We are in people's back gardens in this car. The
soil is dark, heavy and damp and this car is hard to steer in this
heavy soil. Enough is enough. I relinquish myself from the task of
driving this car. Alan does not have a clue of what he should do,
really. But I am tired of taking the blame.

So we are stuck here in someone's back garden with our little
white car, stuck here in this heavy sodden soil. Then I notice
something. Suddenly I notice something move in this heavy soil.
"Hey look! It's a pot bellied pig!" I shout out loud and sure enough
a little black and grey male pot bellied pig comes running along.
He has two little sisters who are bright yellow and blue. They are a
bit fish like though. His sisters are special they can talk you see. So
we while our time away in someone's back garden talking to two
bright yellow and blue fish like creatures, who are the two talking
sisters of this pot bellied pig.

(24) Choc A Lot.
I go through all of these empty chocolate bars. I go through their
empty cardboard packaging like a stack of playing cards. I read the
packaging as I go through them. Some have fancy writing on.
Some do not. For some it is the same chocolate bar but with a
different packaging, in different colours, in a different font.
Sometimes the chocolate bar is still in its packaging but usually
not.

L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.
L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.
L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.

I cannot believe that all of these chocolate bars have been eaten
by the same person. Not eaten by me, but eaten by a woman who
is called Paula. She likes her chocolate bars a lot. There is a lot of
information here that I go through written on card. On the
packaging that I shuffle through and deal with and read all about.
This is a big deal. Yes, she likes her chocolate bars a lot.

28-3-18
(25) Barbara.
I am a barber as I watch her wake up in the barbers' chair. I
wonder about her dream. I wonder how far she has been gone in
her dream. How deep did she go? I make a conscious effort to
evaluate this. I look at her mood, her predisposition and I gauge
her as she slowly comes round. As she comes round sat in the
barbers' chair.

29-3-18

(26) To Find Our Place.
I am working my way to eight O'Clock in this room. There is a big
van that goes there in an hour or two. There is a big van that goes
there and it will do a lot of tidying up along the way. It will be
better when everything is a bit neater. This will sort everyone out
and it will put us all into place.

30-3-18

(27) My Silence.
They fall through the gaping holes in the road. I push one of them.
I find a convenient time. I tap his back foot from behind him as he
is walking along and as he trips up I push him hard on his back to
make sure that he falls. He grabs hold of another person as he is
falling down and they both fall down through the holes in this
road that they walk down.

This road is made up of circular aluminium grey discs that you can
stand on. Some of these circular discs are joined together, but in
between these discs is an emptiness where the road can swallow
you up. There are two people missing because of me and I tell no
one. There is an investigation into the disappearance of these two
missing people, but I keep my mouth shut. I keep my silence.

31-3-18

(28) Odd Behaviour.
Maz went out and she spent over £500 on a Chinese meal. Why
would she do that? It is not just that, she has done other things
too. She is my sister and my mum and dad look at me suspiciously,
as if for some reason it is my fault that she is out of order. She is
my younger sister but I am a child here too. I play on the front
garden. I do my forward rolls on the front lawn grass and as I do so
my parents they watch me through the front glass window. I feel
their eyes of suspicion watching me. There is no crime in my
heart, but I am affected by all of their suspicions. My parents
constantly quiz me. They look for answers. They search for
reasons for Maz's odd behaviour. Why would she do these things?

My favorite verses for March:
4,7,9,16,17,20,24,27,28.

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April 2018

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(29) Check Me Out.
(30) A Little Wendy House And A Big Warehouse.
(31) Perfect Connection.
(32) Open Mic.
(33) I Laugh : O
(34) Move On.
(35) A Paper Chase.
(36) Up In The Galary.
(37) My Deception.
(38) Where The Rich And Famous Live.
(39) I Do?
(40) Semi Retirement.
(41) Off Of His Head.
(42) Detraction.
(43) Hail The King!
(44) College Life.
(45) Disaster Hospital.
(46) May I Interject?
(47) A Spark In Her Hand.
(48) Heart Space.
(49) Aquasitions Of Wealth And A Guilty Pleasure Of Mine.
(50) A Parody.
(51) Every Little Thing.
(52) Just Me.
(53) *Little Miss Ditsy*
(54) Move On ------>
(55) Such Depths.

1-4-18

(29) Check Me Out.
All because of Paxo I am well and truly stuffed. I go through this
feeling, a place where I can be.

I have to go and collect all spiritual matters. I feel the presence of
people all around me. I feel the presence of those spiritual
matters that find me and face me. I see a face look at me.

2-4-18

(30) A Little Wendy House And A Big Warehouse.
This house that I work in was once Wendy's house. I can tell that
by the way the hall way is that leads to the bedroom. That means
that we must be in the village of Billinghay.

I am chatting to this lass who is an estate agent. There is a lad with
glasses who told her to find my niece and nephew a decent house.
"Find them a cheap house." I heard the lad with glasses tell her
earlier. She tells me how cheeky the lad with glasses is and then
she asks me about my niece and nephew.

I find myself inside this big warehouse. I am walking along when a
big truck slams into a wall behind me and just misses me! I do not
know what these warehouse walls are made of but this truck has
just ricocheted off of this wall. And then another little green
dumpy lorry goes head on into this big warehouse wall. This lorry
just bounces back with a little jump in the air, stopped dead in its
tracks. There are some old blokes going crazy in this big
warehouse now. "They are going to kill themselves! They are
crazy!" I hear one of the old blokes exclaim as these blokes rally
around in response to these crazy drivers. I do not know what
these old blokes think that they can do. I am just in fear of my life
now as I walk back through this warehouse the way that I have
just been. I evaluate the safest route out whilst keeping a good
look out for any more rouge trucks that might run me over in this
big warehouse.

4-4-18

(31) Perfect Connection.
I am just following this lad as he is talking. His talking synchronises
perfectly with where we are at this time. How does he do that? I
follow him through the winding Devon roads, through city and
countryside alike. Up hills and along cliff tops his talking never
falters. It always matches the landscape. It always follows in
perfect connection.

A few years later and I have a PHD in the local arts.

6-4-18

(32) Open Mic.
I can hear a stoned version of the Tenacious D song 'Tribute.' Every
chord and every note is played to perfection. We just follow it
along and enjoy the ride, as we listen to Mitch sing this song. A
man so ill that he is barely alive. "Where are all the women?" We
ask ourselves. We need more women.

(33) I Laugh : O
There is a man with a brolly. (I laugh) "I know he has been doing
that all day. I do not know what he thinks he is doing!" Says a
voice from out of the clear of the blue.

For some reason it is funny. A man with a brolly brisk and gay
walking along with nothing to say. (I laugh) But I do not know why
that is funny, but it is.

(34) Move On.
We are on the beach and we are working out ways in which to
move on. We write a song, a verse and a chorus. We sing so strong
and we repeat, 'Move On!' In the pebbles and the stones and the
sand on the beach. We all move on and you know that can't be
wrong. In the sandiness of times. In the turning of the tide we
stick to our goals and we all move on, move on, move on.

7-4-18

(35) A Paper Chase.
I draw a gorilla that represents my mood. In black and white I
draw these pictures. Then I encounter this gorilla. In his
stealthiness he draws himself, a black and white gorilla drawing.
He leaves it out for me to find. Gorilla drawings lay around in all of
his different moods. So when you find a gorilla drawing then you
know he is close around. He is stealthy and quick on the draw, but
he cannot be found. In reality he is hidden and he does not make
a sound, but in his stealthiness he is telling you what's what. So
when you see that gorilla drawing letting out a raw. It is only a
drawing in black and white telling you what for.

GORILLA
<(o)> <(o)>
\/\-----------/\/
8-4-18

(36) Up In The Galary.
I am at Sharon Taylor's house with her and her mum. I keep doing
things wrong. I keep knocking things off. I keep knocking things
over. Sharon and her mum are very patient with me and they
make a joke out of my ineptitude.

I have some stuff in the fridge but I need a number code to get
into it. I notice that someone else puts the code into the fridge
and then they get inside. So I quickly glance at the fridge code that
is written on the inside of the open fridge door. I am aware that
this bloke is watching me. I know that he knows what I am doing
as I read off the number to myself, I am struggling to memorise
this long digit number.

I go to a meeting. Sharon says "You don't want to go there, it's
boring." I hear a woman behind me at this meeting and I hear her
talk passionately about her grades. I think to myself, 'It's for
people who think that qualifications matter.' But when I listen to
her she is just spouting off letters and numbers and grades that
she has got. It means nothing to me.

So I go off and I follow Sharon Taylor. "That's my work." Sharon
tells me pointing up to some paintings. "The big one's mine she
says proudly."

"That's your painting." I say surprised.

"Ssshhh!" She quickly responds. "No one's supposed to know
whose painting it is." I look at the painting of a big fat pig in mud.
Sharon Taylors name is not on the display, but she has a
pseudonym, so that no one knows who has done this painting.
"That's just typical of these times! Why can't people just paint and
show their work off and not put other names on their work?" I
spout off and I make my point passionately and with indignation.

I catch a glimpse of a twenty pack of three fives, state express,
(555). They are in a pocket in the side of my ruck sack bag and as I
am walking along I think to myself, 'I have not had a smoke in a
long time.' But then I remember my last smoke and it was not that
long ago really.

9-4-18

(37) My Deception.
We are setting up a disco function. I have got jobs to do, but I am
not sure what it is that they want me to do. I do not even know
who this do is for. I would not recognise him if I saw him.

There is a man walking around with one foot and a small hard hat
on. He looks like a shoe with a small hard hat on top. He gets
around though. I stop to talk to him for a while to see if I can get
any ideas of what I should be doing here. I tell him what he looks
like. His hard hat moves up and down when he talks to me. He
makes me smile.

There is a tall man in charge. He comes up to me and he speaks to
me, "If there is aggression within you then it will come out of
you." He tells me. "If someone has been opened up to violence
then that violence will come out. I am worried about Paul." The
man continues, "I think that he might have been opened up to
violence." The man nods over into Pauls direction as he speaks.
Paul is manning the bar serving drinks. I think to myself, 'He knows
about my behaviour. He knows that I have kicked off recently and
that is why he is telling me all this. It is the violence of my past
that as come out of me and he knows this.' I feel a little ashamed
of myself now, how I have let my bad behaviour creep in when I
get stressed out. I am not the placid man who I appear to be.

11-4-18

(38) Where The Rich And Famous Live.
I have this big car dryer. I go around drying cars. I go to famous
and rich peoples drive ways and dry their cars. I put the car dryer
above the car. The dryer is as big as the car and it just hovers
there. So as it hovers above the car it drys it. It is quite strange
because all of these rich peoples driveways are all next to each
other. It must be a district where only rich and famous people live.

There is a red motorbike that comes along and it advertises beds.
It has a side car on it and this side car is a bed with a mattress on
it. The motorbike rider is riding it up and down the curb stones.
The mattress on the side car bed jumps up and down every time
he hits curb stones. There is a clear plastic sheet blowing in the
draft off this matters, as he moves along this rich and famous
neighbourhood.

Next there is a herd of white hobbie horses who come out from
nowhere. Hundreds of them in and out of driveways. They migrate
across this neighbourhood with their white manes flopping
around as they move along and all the rich and famous people are
hiding well indoors, as this is all captured on television.
12-4-18

(39) I Do?
"I've got twelve lords a leaping!" I find myself saying.

"Are you alright?" I am asked from the ethereal beyond.

"No not really." I reply.

I have my towel around me and I am doing my best here. I am
singing you see. There is someone within me, a presence about
me, but I know not who they are. I have been deep within myself
and now I am up here as I sort myself out from a place so remote
that I am truly hard to find.

There could have been marriage, but how did it come to this, as I
stand on these green green lawns, I do. For she is the presence
about me, but I know not who she is and I know not why I am
here. I do NOT.

15-4-18

(40) Semi Retirement.
Hello I am Gary's carer. I work these odd hours in the dark winter
months so that I may be free for the summertime months to
come. I climb these steep Devon hills so that I may do my work
here. Just like I have always done so many times before. I sleep
these odd hours so that I may be free in the summer sunshine and
so that I may use those summer sunshine hours for myself. With
six months on and six months off. With full time work in the
winter and free time for the summer months to come. To be free
to do what I want to do. This is my personal retirement plan of
action for me.

(41) Off Of His Head.
He seems a bit wreckless. We chat for a while, as I fill in the diary. I
draw lines with a biro and sometimes I ink in between those lines
that I have drawn, as we chat. The plastic on the cover is coming
off of this diary. As we chat this man and I, I go along with him, all
that he says. But there is something about him that does not ring
true. I listen to him speak as I do the paperwork. As he talks
something is surely not right. He is a little off hand. A little out of
his head as he spouts off. I listen as he talks. So then we decide to
go out for a drive, but there is something about him that I am not
sure about, as I fill in the diary with my biro between the lines that
I have drawn. As I colour in with my ink pen, as I think then, 'This
man is off of his head.'

(42) Detraction.
I demonstrate something to Andy that is mathematical in nature.
But it soon becomes clear that I am number blind. I cannot do the
arithmetic. I take too long working out the numbers. I struggle
with the numbers and this is an embarrassment to me you see.
This is what undermines my credibility. This is what detracts
people from listening to me. This is what detracts people from
acknowledging what I have to say. But I know. I know what I mean,
even if that is not how it would seem.
Floating Base Arithmetic:

floating base b is equal to the highest digit in a number plus one.
Therefore the floating base of the following numbers are:

12 ---> base b=3 ---> 5base10
673 ---> base b=8 ---> 443base10
10 ---> base b=2 ---> 2base10
8765544321 ---> base b=9 ---> 3432370645base10

So an example of using floating base in arithmetic:

12 + 14 = (1x3^1 + 2x3^0) + (1x5^1 + 4x5^0) = 5 + 9
= 1110 or 112 or 32 or 24 or E
There are five possible solutions: 1110 or 112 or 32 or 24 or E in
bases 2,3,4,5 and F (base 15) respectively.

22 in base 6 would be a correct answer but because 2 is the
highest digit, this answer is in base 3 using the rules for floating
base arithmetic and so it is an incorrect floating base answer.

All possible floating base numbers from 0 to 15:

n
0|0
1|1
2 | 10, 2
3 | 11, 3
4 | 100, 4
5 | 101, 12, 5
6 | 110, 20, 6
7 | 111, 21, 13, 7
8 | 1000, 22, 8
9 | 1001, 14, 9
10 |1010, A
11 |1011, 102, 23, 15, B
12 |1100, 30, C
13 |1101, 31, 16, D
14 |1110, 112, 32, 24, E
15 |1111, 120, 33, 17, F
---------------------------------------------
| P1 Pn, P4, P3, P2

Patterns That Form From Possible Floating Base Numbers:

* First pattern P1:
(binary pattern).
Every number n can be represented as a floating base number in
binary (base 2).

* Second Pattern P2:
(nth number pattern in base n+1).
Every number n can be represented as a single digit in base n+1.

* Third Pattern P3:
(1a in base (a+1) pattern).
This is where 2a+1=n, therefore n is an odd number when n is
equal to or greater than 5.

* Fourth Pattern P4:
(ax in base (a+1) pattern).
This is where x+2a+2=n.

* nth Pattern Pn:
There are other patterns yet to be defined at higher values of n.

TO BE CONTINUED

16-4-18

(43) Hail The King!
Apparently, he is a Scottish king and for some reason I get away
with a lot of things, so I am told, but I am careful not to push him
too far. I do not like to get too embroiled in the politics here.

"It is neem to be here."

I introduce the king's word here. I know that it is his word and that
is why have said it. Maybe it will give me some much needed luck.

I am told by two guards what to do, They try to push me around,
but I am cocky. I know the king you see and so they do not push
me too far. I know the king and so I am privileged in this king's
company.

17-4-18

(44) College Life.
I am at college here, but I do not really feel that I fit in. I feel a
little awkward as I walk around this building. In the library I try to
find something of interest. I just meander around this college. I
see a woman, she looks nice, but she talks about her husband and
I reflect on the fact that I am single as I listen to her conversation
with someone who I do not know. In the library there is a lad
there who is quite vocal and he speaks to me about something or
other, then another lad tells him to shut up. I feel a little awkward
again. I just give the lads a wry smile. I have known these lads for a
few years now, but it is not like I grew up with them. I have a quick
glance out of a college window that shines the brightness of the
day through it as I walk past it and I reflect on my aspie ways: The
way that I only half fit in here, the awkwardness with which I
approach those people who are around me, but 'hay ho!' That is
the college life that I have here and that is just the way that it is.

20-4-18

(45) Disaster Hospital.
I am sent into a hospital to clean it up. Everyone in this hospital
has been pulverised. Apparently everyone in this hospital has
been sucked up into the ventilation system before being released
as a sloppy mangled human mess on the floor. It is eary here. I
came into this hospital on my own but since then I have met up
with two women to help me clean this mess up. So as we clean up
the sloppy human remains on this hospital floor, I listen to them
talk. They talk about ethnicity. They talk about a small area of the
world, a small population. I do not hear everything that they say
but I do hear them mention Bahrain. They say that it is just one
small area in the world that is causing so much trouble. I am just
listening and I am not sure about what they are saying. I just clean
up the sloppy human remains on this hospital floor and I listen to
them talk.
21-4-18

(46) May I Interject?
There is an injection that I have to give, but I am unsure. All the
medical paperwork regarding this has to be removed and then
replaced with new medical paperwork that shows dates and
signatures, but I am not confident about changing this paperwork.
The paperwork is thick like a book with many pages and it is this
that I am unsure about. I go over and over it in my mind's eye, but
there is something not right here.

22-4-18

(47) A Spark In Her Hand.
I have travelled so many miles across this land and now I am here
to put everything into this laundry. To put everything into this big
industrial steam train of a wash. On the tracks of this big old
railway wash. The children's clothes are all laid out in a line as
they go through this process and I notice a little trick. I notice a
woman she has hidden beneath some old clothes, something of
importance that she does not want me to see. In the blink of an
eye she takes from beneath a pile of these old clothes something
of importance you see. As quick as a flash, like a spark in her hand
she lights up hope in the dark. I just sit there all still on my perch
on a hill as I watch in the night and her flash of bright light. As she
reveals to me a spark in her hand and I pretend not to notice you
see.

(48) Heart Space.
Our politicians are homeless. They have no home in Westminster.
Our politicians have been bought out. Parliament has sold out.
You only have to look at the records to know that this is true.

There has been discussions, but I do not know what has been said.
This corruption is all pervasive and I can see just how it has
spread. Democracy does not work you see. It will split your
country apart. We should all find another way and make it from
the heart. <3

24-4-18

(49) Aquasitions Of Wealth And A Guilty Pleasure Of Mine.
I am playing a game and it is all done through the post office.
There are little square peices of paper with writing on that you can
get from the post office. The writing on these little pieces of paper
explain what each little piece of paper is worth. With some you
may be able to collect money and with others you get money off
of a purchase in a shop. It all varies.

I get my hands on a pot full of these little square pieces of paper.
There is a lot of competition between people to aquire these little
pieces of paper and I am looking in a pot full of them. I am going
through these little pieces of paper deciding which ones are
valuable and which of these I will take, but there are people
around me who want to delve into this pot too. So quickly I take
some of the best little pieces of paper out. Those that are most
valuable and then I pass the pot along.

Later I find this card all wrapped in clear plastic and inside there is
a sticky and sweet pastry with sultanas, nuts and raisens. I do not
know whose this is but I take a bite as I slide this pastry through
the plastic and the card and it is sweet and nice. As I walk around
this room full of people eating this pastry I wonder whose pastry I
am eating. I hope that no one will notice so I quickly take another
big bite of this pastry and it is delicious, but it is not mine so
quickly I scoff it all, crinkleing the noisy plastic packaging and this
is my guilt pleasure. I have taken from someone but I know not
who. This pastry has been so nice. It was something that I just had
to do. I place the empty cardboard packaging between two books
on a bookcase hoping that no one will ever know just what I have
done.

25-4-18

(50) A Parody.
I am walking around this place with some other people. We have
got this frame to put together. These hollow aluminium tubes just
slot together. We are finding these pieces to slot together on the
ground all over this place, as we wander and we search and we
work out just exactly which bit slots into which bit.

Everything is leading to a show that we are all in. This show
involves 1970's punk rock music from back in the day. There is a
sexy female involved and she is lovely. She is visually stunning in
her sexy underwear.

Someone has just said that they are going to put on the same
show with a low budget. It will be very much similar to the proper
show except that there is no lovely sexy female. He says that there
will be just himself masterbating to the Sham 69 song 'Hurry Up
Harry.' And he starts to sing this song: "Hurry up Harry come on!"
27-4-18

(51) Every Little Thing.
I am raging. Every little thing that gets me, gets me angry. All the
little things that add up. The people who taunt me. They attack
me for my ways and they surprise me. Jackie she turns on me. She
does not like my ways. I say something and she attacks me. I really
try to keep my cool, but then I blow. I lose my patience. I shout
back. I follow Jackie into an old church building. I tell her, "get
lost!" I show her a different way out of this old church building.
She really makes me mad.

The roof is held up with wooden beams and they are lose. I try to
fix them, but I make things worse and then my dad tells me, "Do
not do that!" And I blow. I lose it.

"Well you sort it out then!" I yell out loud because I am angry.
"You fix the roof!" I rage out loud as the roof comes tumbling
down and there is anger at the slightest thing, but that is me.

I know that these people are good people, but they get me so
fucking mad! With my dad and Jackie, I lose it, I blow my fucking
top! I do not mean to rage so hard, but once I start I cannot stop.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!"

(52) Just Me.
We live on a pool. We float around on lilos. I like to avoid
everything that I can. I laze around on my lilo floating around. If I
hear someone around, I kick off on the sides of this pool and I
float away. This pool is so big. It is massive you see. I listen around
to what is going on. I hear the other people talking in the distance.
They float on afar and I avoid them. It is just my lilo and I floating
around on this pool. Alone on these waters it feels so cool. I am
free you see. Alone on these waters it is just me. I am remote and
afloat and this is how I like it to be. Just me to float and be free.
Just me, you see.

(53) *Little Miss Ditsy*
How has she gotten herself into that position? She is driving her
car and she has done a strange manouver. She has found herself
facing the wrong way. She is stuck at the traffic lights. She
reversed her car when the traffic lights went red and now she is
facing the wrong way. I see her looking in her wing mirror for the
traffic lights to change. She and her car is facing the car that has
pulled up behind her. How embarrassing! Little miss ditsy is arse
about face at the junction : ) Sometimes she gets herself in the
wrong, but I love her so much. <3

*Little Miss Ditsy*

How has she gotten herself
into that position?
She is driving her car
and she has done a strange manouver.
She has found herself
facing the wrong way.

She is stuck at the traffic lights.
She reversed her car
when the traffic lights went red
and now she is facing the wrong way.
I see her looking in her wing mirror
for the traffic lights to change.
She and her car is facing the car
that has pulled up behind her.
How embarrassing!
Little miss ditsy
is arse about face at the junction : )
Sometimes she gets herself in the wrong,
but I love her so much. <3

28-4-18

(54) Move On ------>
I am waiting in time to write down my experience. To write up
how all the energies have been:

I get a sense of a French female dressed all in pink. She has long
curly platinum blonde hair. She is quite old and she has a little
dog. I take my turn to move on from her life. I fill out my report for
the next soul to come along. For the next soul to work from my
place. To fill out my space with new energies. To breath life into
this poor girls blue life as we awaken her spirit along. ----->

Nothing Left To Say.

There's a river running free
down to the salty sea.
There are puddles in my mind,
my thoughts I cannot find.

There's so much rain
that it washes me away,
dilutes my brain
until I've nothing left to say.

I try to make a speech,
but I stand here so cold and wet.
I stumble over words
I cannot get there yet.

My silence condemns me.
It makes me look a fool.
They say,
"That mute boy he's so dumb."
As I drown here in this pool.
They say,
"That mute boy he's so dumb.
He's just another fool."

But, there's a river running free
down to the salty sea.
There are puddles in my mind,
my thoughts I cannot find.

There's so much rain
that it washes me away,
dilutes my brain
until I've nothing left to say.

29-4-18

(55) Such Depths.
All of my dreams join up on the opposite side of the road from the
sea. Like a pencil scribble joining dots to dots. So this is my way
within mathematical less ness.

There is so much more to this, but its meaninglessness has
superseded its abstraction into forgetfulness. I find myself at a loss
to explain. I find that I have lost a part of myself to an
incomprehensible spaceless, timeless abstraction. Such is the
depths of this consciousness.

The astral is a spaceless mathematical less ness. This is where Art
becomes the medium. This is where Science becomes lost
because there are no measurement.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Mathematical Space:
Through me, a new space is created. Within mathematics through
me, a new space is created from the Art of that spaceless
mathematical less ness of astral intelligence.

A Trisquare.
A trisquare is a shape within a space, but that space is not the
same as physical space. A trisquare is a shape within two
dimensions within this 'new space shape' that does not mirror a
two dimensional physical space, because it has different
properties. A trisquare has some of the properties of a triangle,
square and circle.

Trisquare Properties.
A trisquare has three sides with three internal angles. Each of
these angles is a square angle. The distance from each vertex to its
opposite side is equal in length all along the line of that opposite
side and so a trisquare has the properties of a triangle, square and
circle respectively.

A Hexcircle.
The picture below is a representation of a hexcircle. The hexcircle
is not in the realm of this space and so this is just an approximate
representation. In this new space a circle and a hexagon is the
same shape and so we get the hexcircle.

A hexcircle is a circle made up of six trisquares. It is a circle with six
square internal angles. It is a circle with a circumference with a
length six times the radius. It is a circle with an area six times that
of its trisquare.
And so a new geometry begins.

The square and square root of a trisquare in this new two
dimensional space is similar to the square and square root of a
square in a standard two dimensional space.

The picture above shows that a trisquare with side length of two is
made up of four smaller trisquares. This gives an arithmetic that is
the same as with geometry in standard space. If the side length of
a trisquare is x then its area is equal to x squared.

The above picture could equally be of a trisquare with sides of one
that are split into two halves. This gives a model of a geometry in
rational space. In this case where x equals one half then x squared
equals one quarter which makes sense.

Below is a pictorial representation of a two dimensional space of
hexcircles made up of six trisquares that use the new
mathematical space that has been explained above which is a
different mathematical space to that of standard two dimensional
space.

'New Space Geometry' Is Elliptic.
Area A of a hexcircle has the formula six times the radius squared,
A=6r^2. The circumference C of a hexcircle has the formula six
times the radius, C=6r. If we work out C/A then we get C/A=1/r.
This is the ratio of circumference to area and determines how new
space geometry lies on the spectrum of geometrical spaces
between hyperbolic and elliptic.

Comparing the above with a circle in standard space geometry
then we get: The circumference of a circle divided by the area of a
circle = C/A = 2/r. Therefore we find that new space geometry is a
more elliptic geometrical space than standard space geometry.

If we say that standard space geometry (physical space geometry)
is parabolic which is exactly between hyperbolic and elliptic on the
spectrum of geometrical spaces then we have something to work
from.

The motivation behind creating new space geometry is to invent a
geometry that does not use pi. The theory here is that pi is a value
that is related to physical space and what I have termed standard
geometry. The theory is that pi is only important because we have
based our mathematics on the properties of physical space.

My favorite verses for April:
45,48,50,52,53,55.

____________________________________________________

May 2018

____________________________________________________

(56) A Difference.
(57) How Dare He?
(58) Twat!
(59) The Happy Threesome.
(60) Chippy Sets The Table.
(61) Condemn Nation.
(62) The Sarsahr, They See Me In Astral.
(63) All Wired Up.
(64) An Accept Of Time.
(65) I Take To Relieve My Senses.
(66) A Bed Of Onions.
(67) Beer Here.
(68) My Lost Guitar.
(69) Looking For You.
(70) A New Consciousness, Or Just Plain Madness?
(71) What To Do In Looe.
(72) Not A Full Chess Set.
(73) That Trick Shot Is Not Interesting Anymore.
(74) Troubled Colin And The Dick Song.
(75) Busker Adi.
(76) How To Feed Your Head.
(77) My Standards.
(78) Hanging Around.
(79) So Thoughtful.
(80) Deep Blue Baby.
(81) I Make Myself Known.
(82) A Beautiful Old Song.
(83) I Wait In Expectation.
(84) What Does She Want From Me?
(85) Access And Joy From The Elder.
(86) Morning Glory.
(87) So Sure.
(88) Careful With What I Do.
(89) Very Becoming.
(90) Just A Jacket.
(91) Parked Up And Speeding.
(92) Flotsom And Jetsom.
(93) A Default.
(94) Reflections Of A Man.
(95) People! Pee Pole!
(96) Me-And-Her, And Him.
(97) An Astrological Skyscape.
(98) Travel Disruptions.
(99) A Balloon Slapping Time.
(100) Secrecies And Lies.

1-5-18

(56) A Difference.
I see a woman with a bag around her neck. She is middle aged and
she walks right up to me. With her straight face she looks straight
into my eyes and she tells me, "I don't even know what you are
talking about!" This shocks me. There is serious concern on her
face. She reminds me of a woman that I used to know. She is
familiar although I have never seen her before, because she is
similar to this other woman, but there is a difference. It is this
difference that makes me question myself. Who is she? Am I being
mistaken?

2-5-18

(57) How Dare He?
I am living in a caravan, I have decided to fill the caravan with
toilet paper. Set it on fire to make a claim for this caravan. I tell
Roger Hales about this. I tell him exactly what I plan to do.

Later I get investigated, oddly enough by my doctor. For some
reason it is the doctor who I have to answer to. My caravan gets
raided. All the burning toilet paper gets discarded before the
caravan gets chance to catch fire and I have to answer a few
questions from the doctor. I am worried that my family will find
out about my plan to set my caravan on fire, so I make up some
excuses. I explain that it was a medical reason for all that toilet
paper in my caravan. The doctor questions me about the
medication that I am on. So I tell him about that. I think that I am
going to be okay. I feel that my alibi is working.

Later I see Roger Hales and Mick Benton. Mick says to me, "You
should not have told Roger Hales about your plans."

I look to Roger and I say, "Roger would never grass on me."

Mick replies in an instant, "Well he did." I look at Roger again. He
is silent. He does not look at me. He is looking down in shame and
he sort of shrugs his shoulders. I guess that he must feel some
responsibility. I search within myself about his actions. I did not
think that he would do that. I thought that I could trust him. He
snitched on me.

"He's a snitch!" I exclaim in disgust.

(58) Twat!
There is a big fuss about whether I bit someone. I was singing and
then they put their finger in my mouth. I was singing 'Nice And
Sleazy.' I had my eyes closed. How did I know that they were going
to put their finger in my mouth? I am told that they have it all on
video. That it has all been recorded. They have the evidence. They
do not let it go. They just keep on about it. So I lose it. I ram my
fist down this lads throat. I twat him. "You see! It's not nice is it!" I
yell, as I make my point and things really heat up then!

3-5-18

(59) The Happy Threesome.
There is a couple here on the beach. They really need some help,
some bloke and his woman. I do not get involved. I have been
asked to help them, but I have stalled. I have found my way
around this, I have found the way out of the burden of this
control. There are those around me who seem disappointed with
my lack of enthusiasm to help the couple. Some people seem
disgruntled at my decision not to help this couple. I find out that
there is a man who is willing to marry this couple in order to help
them. What sort of marriage will that be? And how is that going to
work? Now that is devotion to a friendship!

(60) Chippy Sets The Table.
There is a table without its table top. There is just two aluminium
legs that are bolted into the floor. They stick out of the ground
proud and straight. Each leg has had its rectangular table top
removed. These two rectangular table tops used to butt up to
each other to make a square table top of two halves in separation,
but now the new table top will be a square one piece block of
wood. It will fit onto the two aluminium legs that are bolted
upright into the ground. This represents all as one, in this cafe of
delightfulness. At this table this will represent where we will all sit
around, where we will all eat from and where we will all become
one.

4-5-18

(61) Condemn Nation.
I represent for a scientist in a court of law. I really do not know
what I am doing here. I am just feeling my way around. I am too
unsure on what to say and what to do. As far as I know there has
been no crime committed as we tenuously make our way through
this court of law. Mark Reynolds and myself we sometimes feel
that we need justification as we represent ourselves in this crazy
world. This crazy court of law that points its finger and judges us
for who we are. In this room of light oak panels of respectability
that hands out with its gavel, its verdicts of guilt and its bias
pomposities for the big wigs, for the big wigs who feel that they
are in charge of us all and in charge of this world that we all live in.
We talk politics and it talks back down to us, because this is the
type of world that we live in.

(62) The Sarsahr, They See Me In Astral.
I am outside with hundreds of these people, all milling around me.
This is not my neighbourhood. I am stood on a path. My pushbike
is stood in the roadside gutter with its peddle holding the
pushbike up as it rests on the curbstone and all these people are
around me.

There is one man who is ordered to explain why he believes in
extraterrestrial and what evidence he has for this. I see him get
into his stride. I see him walk up and he shouts:

"Number one, all these unidentified flying objects that have been
identified. Number two, all the crazies. (I know that he means the
Grey aliens who abduct people here.) Number three ... "

And he goes on. I know that this is just a preliminary explanation
for the time being, but there will be a full and extensive report in
due course from this man.

I am walking off. I go to cross the road when I am aware of a big
red double decker bus to the right of me indicating to turn around
this corner that I am stood on, but some people to the left of me
carry on walking. They do not stop. They step out into the road
and they cross the road. Then the bus does an unlikely bus
manoeuvre to avoid those people who cross the road. The bus
glides sideways and up this building wall along the roof top and
then up over this roof top and across. "Wow!" I am astounded.
That is one crazy manoeuvre and I am quite impressed.

My intention here is to attract in Astral a Sarsahr woman and to
eventually have a relationship with a beautiful Sarsahr woman in
Astral.

5-5-18

(63) All Wired Up.
For some reason I am doing a gig with the Gallagher brothers. I
have my Oasis song to play as I get kitted out to go down a wire
onto stage. I will fly onto stage and this is how it is all set up. It is
all in the preparation, how we get to deliver this music, as we go
through our safety checks and we get the thumbs up. So this is my
moment.

6-5-18

(64) An Accept Of Time.
We are looking to get into Gary's TV/Computer, but there is a
problem. We have waited too long to do this and so now we
cannot access it. You see the length of this time does not bend. It
is like a long plank of wood that will not fit through doorways.
There is someone's sister who I am aware of, who might be able to
help us. I do not know whose sister she is though. I am aware of
her with regards to this wooden shed that I find myself in. It is a
new shed made from nice clean timber. There are bendy white
fibre glass like rods stored in here. They stretch from the bottom
left hand corner up to the top right corner of this nice new
wooden shed.

My boss Doug asks me for the remote control. I am puzzled as to
which remote control that he wants because there are several
remotes to choose from. Doug points to the one that he wants
and he tells me that the access number is 1966 as I pass him the
remote and he puts in these numbers for access into Gary's
TV/Computer. Unfortunately we have left the length of this time
for too long and this time does not bend. So at this time we are
stuck in this moment, unable to move forward. Which is a bit of a
nuisance really, but there is nothing that we can do about this. So
we must accept this for the time being.

(65) I Take To Relieve My Senses.
The teacher in the classroom, she is beginning to get annoyed, but
now I need a pee and although I nervously stutter, I ask her as
nicely as I can. I say to her, "I know it's a bad time b b b but, but
can I go to the toilet?"

"No" The teacher replies to confirm her mardy mood as she stares
back at me. "Go on then!" She says finding her better judgement
as begrudgingly she changes her mind.

I go into a place that is usually out of bounds. I find a toilet that is
so old. I am thinking that this is where the teachers go. There is
Victorian plumbing with its old style fixtures. This toilet takes me
back. It takes me back in time. I am peeing in the past and I look
around in marvel as I take a piss.

So then I am looking for my classroom , but I do not know which
room I am in. I do not know where I am meant to be. There is a
student who keeps talking to me. He keeps telling me things that I
do not need to know.

I cannot get away from all these teachers. They follow me around,
all over. They follow me throughout this school. As soon as I think
that I have lost a teacher another one pops its ugly head up out
from nowhere places.

I go into this classroom and a teacher starts to talk to me. I want
to get away but he follows me. Like the video game 'Pac Man' he
follows me around. He is very flat and pixilated. For some strange
reason he is drinking from a goblet. Through a maze of tables and
chairs I try to give this man the slip, but he takes a short cut and
blocks me off. "I can teach you at the weekend." He tells me. That
is all I frigging need! Then suddenly I find a door and I find a way
to leave.

8-5-18

(66) A Bed Of Onions.
I go and hang out with two single women who I used to know in
an old job of mine, at least they were single then, but neither of
them are single now. I am single now, but I was not back then and
this is how things have changed.

I chat to these two girls about being single. About how I would
rather not be single. I would much prefer to be in a healthy, happy
relationship. As we chat I find some carrots under my bed. Should
I prepare these carrots? I assume that maybe I should. I find a
knife and a bowl of water under my bed also. I guess that maybe
my mum and dad have put these things under my bed. I really do
not mind that my parents have put carrots under my bed and I
inform the two single ladies about this. It is then that I notice
boxes that are full of packets of small onions under my bed or
maybe they are packets of garlic. Some of these packets have
been opened. For obvious reasons I am concerned about opened
packets of onions being under my bed. This is not good!

9-5-18

(67) Beer Here.
Alphie is nice. He is a friendly local in these pubs of Devon. I first
met him at Sidmouth by the river of Sid. A man of this county with
his love of drink, he continues in the traditions of Beer. He
continues to wash himself down by the river and sea. He says that
he has enough money to last him till he dies. Providing that he
dies at two O'Clock, you see. He gets some people to go on a boat.
He deals in liquor and mackerel to keep himself afloat. Here on
this Jurassic coast, here in this fishy seaside town of Beer.

(68) My Lost Guitar.
I suddenly realise that I am without my guitar. I am not too
worried for now. I am sure that it will show up. Casually I retrace
my steps. Where could I have put it? I have lost my guitar. There
are two music groups that I have been to and I am looking around
to see if I can see my guitar anywhere. It must be around here
somewhere. I see Evo. I ask him if he has seen my guitar but he
cannot help me.

So, I go to the other music group. I casually open the door. I can
hear the people inside making their music. As I go through this
door to this music group there are some closed curtains. I peer
around through these curtains to see if I can make my way inside
to search for my lost guitar. There is a girl here that I used to know.
I can feel her presence, but I am looking for my guitar and I cannot
find it anywhere. I think back to where I have been. Someone says
that they think that I have left my guitar between two beds, but I
cannot see my guitar anywhere. There are other guitars in cases. I
open up these cases but I do not find my guitar.

I have Evo's guitar now, but it has no frets. This guitar is so odd.
The neck is too long and there are some gubbins on this neck and I
do not know what they do. I wish that I could find my guitar.

10-5-18

(69) Looking For You.
I come out of the red rocks and I improvise my talk into the bluish
grey rocks that I find. I come out with things to say. Those rocks
they guide me with their intrinsic colours. Sharon she helps me
with an enthusiastic smile.

I read into the emptiness and I find my words with care. I feel the
emptiness, I fill up with conscious awareness, a dareness that I
find from beyond my mind. To the depths of my soul from the
heart of my kindness. I love this challenge that comes out of a
blindness and creates from the necessity of a concise inciteness.
My visions of my love for you.

11-5-18

(70) A New Consciousness, Or Just Plain Madness?
We all make music and we do not all agree as to the direction of
our music. I have been away but I am back now. I feel my way back
into this group of musicians. I feel the disagreements. Sometimes
it feels so uneasy, but I work my way on through.

I have been away a while and there are boiled sweets stuck to the
duvet on my bed. I guess that people have taken these sweets out
of their mouths and then miss thrown them onto my bed. I tell the
people not to do that. I insist that they make amends. There is a
bin for rubbish and it is not my bed as I tidy up around.

I am walking down the road and I see shapes in the sky. Shades of
light grey squares rotate and fold. This is all subjective I know. We
create our own reality. Is this a greater reality or am I just plain
mad? I feel my way into my future, into somewhere where I have
never been before.

I see more shapes now. These shapes they make up humanoid
figures. They walk among us like translucent robots. I walk
through these translucent like robots as if I am collecting points in
a video game. It changes my perception. This sacred geometry is
working through my mind. Reality is shifting to somewhere so
profound. My existence is moving on as I break new ground. I have
found a new consciousness, or maybe this is just plain madness
that is moving all around me, that moves me on in time.
12-5-18

(71) What To Do In Looe.
I get a feel for Cornwall and its remoteness. I get a feel for the
narrow roads and the old buildings that frequent on hillsides. I
need to use the toilet. There is a geometry here. There is a
triangle above the toilet doorway and this triangle is as wide as
the doorway itself, as it lies on its hypotenuse above the doorway.
Its right angle points up into the sky and this triangle has an
engraved ridge within its edges, giving the appearance of a
triangle within a triangle. This is at a place by the sea called Looe.
(Pronounced Loo) And I have a day in Looe.

(72) Not A Full Chess Set.
I have got myself stuck under this rail. I thought that I could
squeeze under it on my back, but now I am stuck here. It is dark
outside now and I need help, like quick! I panic a little at my
restricted position. I think that Bob will shed some light on this
situation.

I have just been shopping. I think that I have got a chocolate chess
set now. I am not sure if it is a chess set because the chess pieces
are all represented by different things. I think that the pawn
pieces are shaped like sperm and I have been wondering what the
other chess pieces are represented by with their wondrous
shapes. There are white chocolate and milk chocolate pieces in
this box packaging and I have bought one box out of curiosity.
Well the thing is that one chocolate chess piece had fallen out of
its box packaging in the shop and so I ate it. So as I am stuck here
under this rail hoping that Bob will help me to get free soon, I am
also concerned that I have not got a full chess set.
14-5-18

(73) That Trick Shot Is Not Interesting Anymore.
There is this bloke doing a trick shot on a pool table. I am watching
him with my dad. In flash frames of a camera vision that I have,
the balls move around the table. This bloke who does these trick
shots tells us where he is going to put the white cue ball after his
shot. With so much back spin on the cue ball the cue ball goes to
where this bloke says. In one frame shot the green baize on the
pool table has gone completely. There is just a rough dark brown
terrain of pit marks and holes in the table. Then things get
ridiculous:

We go outside into the carpark/driveway and this bloke does his
trick shots on this carpark/driveway around a little roundabout
flower bed that is in the middle of this carpark/driveway. My dad
gives me a whistle. He tells me to blow this whistle to get things
started. "I'm a whistleblower" I say enthusiastically just before I
blow the whistle and then after I blow the whistle, with speed,
this bloke runs around the carpark/driveway, around the
roundabout flowerbed with his cue knocking his white cue ball
along as he is running, but then it starts to get a bit boring, I start
to lose interest after that. Suddenly these trick shots do not do
anything for me.

15-5-18

(74) Troubled Colin And The Dick Song.
I have got this rude song. It has got into the charts and I am
supposed to be singing it around peoples houses. I am supposed
to go up to peoples front door and sing it with my dick out.

I go over to the Batkin's house. Those neighbours across the road,
but for some reason I cannot do it. So then I look for a safe place
to sing this song with my dick out. A place maybe behind a bush,
where no one else will find me. So then I go over to this
overgrown waste ground when I see Colin working on a path with
big grey slabs. He is busy buffing these slabs up with a buffing
machine. Without looking up Colin says to me, "Can you give it a
shave?"

"What the path?" I ask back and I start to laugh. "Have you been
working too hard?" I joke with him. With that he realises that it is
me. He carries on working busily and he says,

"I'm up for manslaughter" I can see that he is obviously concerned
about this.

"Don't worry about it" I reassure him thinking to myself silently
that this is typical of Colin and that he is always getting himself
into trouble.

The Dick Song

My dick is hanging out
And I'm shaking it about.
I don't know what they think,
But I give the girls a wink.

My dick is hanging out
I sing and then I shout:
"I like to wave it in the air
Cos I don't fucking care!"

My dick is hanging out
For that there is no doubt.
I wiggle it around
Until I am found.
Cos I don't fucking care
It's just another dare,
But I am really sound
And I am fucking found.

My dick is hanging out
My dick is hanging out
My dick is hanging out!

16-5-18

(75) Busker Adi.
I use my own equipment to travel around here in this beautiful
county of Devon. I use my own equipment to sing and to play
guitar in the streets of the towns here in this shire of Devon.

And I meet those people who greet me. They make my work so
good. As we interact we have so much to say. As we all go about
our way with a pick in my hand and a guitar to play. Making my
music in this merry month of May.

Yes, I use my own equipment to travel around here in this
beautiful county of Devon. Yes, I use my own equipment to sing
and to play guitar in the streets of the towns here in this shire of
Devon.

(76) How To Feed Your Head.
I am given some eating out advice, of what to eat and what not to
eat from someone in the know, potatoes veg and gravy. We work
out a deal and I take notes. I am always ready to receive good
advice. There is more to this than that, but it has all gone right out
of my head. There is more to this than that, but for the life of me I
cannot remember just exactly what has been said.

(77) My Standards.
She does not know how to use apostrophes. I would not want a
girl like that. I would feel like a care worker for someone with L.D.
(learning disabilities) I would like a girl who's special, but she'd
have to know a lot. I need to find a girl who can stimulate my
mind. If she's useless at grammar then she's probably not for me
and if she cannot spell, well then she's certainly not for me. I need
to have my standards. I do not wish to be unkind. So it's not
surprising that I'm single and that girl I cannot find.

17-5-18

(78) Hanging Around.
She is an old pro. She is always on stage. In her best South West
accent she enters into banter with the compare. She is kind of
used to this by now. I do not know exactly what she says, but she
is confident. Her replies are well paced and I sense that this is all
great fun to her.
I am chatting with Dave and he says that he has been locked out.
"I told you that earlier. I've told everyone that. No one ever
listens." He goes on to tell me in a slightly pissed off sort of way.
'So what am I supposed to do then?' I think to myself and
subsequently I do nothing. I just hang around doing nothing.

I sense that there is a cat around here somewhere and I believe
that it is a ginger tom. For some inexplicable reason, although I
cannot see it, I can feel the presence of this cat. I think that it
must be hiding from me somewhere, but I do not know why.

(79) So Thoughtful.
There is this woman with children and a lion. "Why do you choose
to have a lion around your children?" I ask her curiously.

"It's my job." She replies. "Have you never worked with lions
yourself?" She enquires.

"Yes I have, but I am always so unsure about how safe a lion is,
because sometimes when they appear a little restless. If they were
to attack you then it would be too late, you would not stand a
chance." I tell her all this out of concern for her and her children.

I have recently been watching her and her children jumping
around, up in the air, in her front garden. I notice that the lion has
gone. 'How much better is that? How much safer are we all now?
And what a welcome relief that is!' And so these are my thoughts.

(80) Deep Blue Baby.
Under my watchful eye these infants are looked after. In the
reflection of this white sunlight. In their little buggies they become
blue as we walk these reflective city streets. I paint these infants
as it gives them some protection from this big old sun. I paint
these infants blue just like I have done before. It is the responsible
thing for me to do , for that I am quite sure.

In this reflective city it is all so brilliant and white, as the sun
reflects off this city a brilliant sort of light. We paint these infants
as it gives them some protection from this big old sun. We paint
these infants blue just like we have done before. It is the
responsible thing for us to do , for that we are quite sure. In this
reflective city that is what this blue paint is for.

18-5-18

(81) I Make Myself Known.
Philip Duffy is as confident as ever, but one morning his parents do
not get him up for school. He has to get himself up on this
particular day.

For some reason I make out that I do not know Philip. We never
speak much anyway, but this particular day I make the effort to tell
him that I do not know him, "Who are you?" I ask him.

There is this big chunky wooden pole that stands proud out of this
concrete ground. I give it a good bashing and it shudders in the
ground and becomes loose. I knock it to the foundations just as I
get into Philips way. I do not make allowances for him and he has
to avoid me or I will knock into him as I extend my presence, as I
get in his way. He WILL know that I am here!
(82) A Beautiful Old Song.
We are all there my family and I. Someone puts on a recording of
a David Bowie album, but this one is special. There is the
recording of someone else since deceased on this Bowie album. In
a song so sociable, in a sound so sincere, as we get those 70's
feelings about the past that has gone so far away. The essence
that this song captures is in a strikingly beautiful way. And so it
takes us back, my family and I, as we get down into those times
that have since gone by. Captured in a song is a mood that only
dreams could ever find, with all those beautiful old feelings that
people leave behind. And so we leave it there with the love of my
past. Listening to nostalgia of a time that went so fast.

19-5-18

(83) I Wait In Expectation.
Although I sing from a bus stop, I lie here so low. Someone else
took off and I do not want them to show. There will be danger if
we ever meet. So I lie here in a shelter, hidden on this street. I
expect they may return as I lie here so still. Deep in these dark
shadows I am ready to kill!

I Wait In Expectation.

Although I sing from a bus stop,
I lie here so low.
Someone else took off
and I do not want them to show.
There will be danger
if we ever meet.
So I lie here in a shelter,
hidden on this street.
I expect they may return
as I lie here so still.
Deep in these dark shadows
I am ready to kill!

(84) What Does She Want From Me?
I am waiting for a good time to meet up under a hole in the sky,
when it all comes together. I try to work it out like that, but it does
not always come true.

I am driving home late at night and in my mirror I see a Rolls Royce
behind me. It is black and white and it has a big shiny chrome grill
in the front. I turn into my home lane and it catches me up. When
a man and a black lady dressed in fine cloth jumps out of this car.
She says that she would like to see me when it is convenient to
meet up. So I tell her that I will hang around tomorrow for when
she is free, as I am intrigued to find out just what this woman
wants from me.

20-5-18

(85) Access And Joy From The Elder.
I am here with Sharon Taylor. There is so much trouble. Things do
not go to plan in this care environment. There are people pulling
rank. I make my case:
"Look, I act to the best of my ability. There is no crime in my heart.
I have only ever acted out for the best. For the best interests. I
have acted out, out of love. If you want to shop me then go ahead.
If you want to make a case against me then go ahead, but I will
fight this all the way!"

This outburst of a speech seems to quell things a little. The
accusations against me appear to be somewhat quoshed, but
dispite this there are still problems.

I find myself in a room. It is the room of the green triangular
wallpaper and the flashing bright white light. My vision is flashing
on and off in this room with this wallpaper of checked green
triangles that has a white background flashing on and off. It is
strange because when my vision flashes off everything is a brilliant
white light. It is like a flicker of random timings from this green
triangular wall paper room to this brilliant white light. I have not
been well but this wallpaper is thereputic. This room is to help me
find my health in the intermitance of my awareness of this special
place that brightens me up inside. I am told that this all comes
courtesy of the Elder. Thank you Elder.
(86) Morning Glory.
I see Andrea after she visits the health clinic. We have a chat and
she needs her medication. I take the script and I tie it to my boot
laces so that I do not lose it and it flaps around my boots when I
walk.

There is a room full of models. Each model represents a county
that I have travelled to. These models depict the characteristics of
that county that it represents. There are holes in the models for
information to travel through. I see the model for Yorkshire and it
has its Yorkshire accent. It is like a little model building with
sweeping driveways and three tunnels to these driveways to put
your hands inside to transceive your information.

I see another woman called Sam. I see her in bed and I join her
there. She is so cute and cozy, but I go straight to sleep because I
like to have morning sex when I wake up from my slumber.
(87) So Sure.
I am on a hillside, as I drive my car up and I park myself away from
the road on this sideway. I have my freedom. I have total freedom.
I find a way in which to play my guitar that does not distract me.
That does not take me away. And these people, they love me.
Deep in the centre of my mind I find these people and that is what
makes me so sure.

21-5-18

(88) Careful With What I Do.
I am playing music in public. I am cautious to get the right volume,
but then I switch it off because there is other music playing in the
room.

I see my sister Maz and she shows me some photos of her fishing
and some of her catches. I show dad these photos. I am surprised
that dad has not seen these photos before. I am surprised that
Maz has not shown dad these photos. I am beginning to wonder if
Maz wanted me to show these photos to dad as Maze is now
compelled to explain these photos to dad as he looks through
them.

I casually look through some postage stamps that I have collected.
I decide that I will display the definitive stamps in a stamp book
and present them correctly. I draw on my cigarette, but the filter
has been 'bog washed' as we say. It is wet with my saliva and so I
am dissatisfied with how much smoke that I inhale.
22-5-18

(89) Very Becoming.
I am discovering how we connect when we touch each other. This
is beyond the scope of the perceptions of an earthly experience
and so I cannot elaborate on this any further, as there is no earthly
frame of reference to my astral insights that leave me in
wakefulness.

I crawl under a road sign in the grass. I crawl under this road sign
that is held up by two posts in the ground. I crawl between these
two posts and I get shitted up to the elbows, but I do not make a
fuss. I find some water. I find a body of water that laps in and I
carefully wash myself down without getting myself too washed up.
I am also aware of a woman in the background watching me as I
wash my arms down, up to my elbows. She makes me more
conscious than I would otherwise be. I imagine what she might
think of me as I clean myself up and so I become a part of her just
as she has become a part of me.

24-5-18

(90) Just A Jacket.
I meet Janet and we socialise, but Janet is not happy with me. She
gives me some feedback on how I can improve my ways. I feel that
I have let Janet and myself down. I have missed out on what could
have been and I make my apologies to Janet. I do not know the
etiquette here. I do not know how to behave. When I meet the
ladies do we hug? Do we kiss on the cheek?

I put a small bottle drink in my jacket pocket. I take my jacket off. It
is like I am aware of of two women. It is as if I mirror two women.
One woman is with the jacket off and the other woman is with the
jacket on. The jacket off has a ghostly appearance of a woman. In
fact she is not a woman at all. She is just a jacket. She is just a
shadow, a shadow of the woman with the jacket on.

25-5-18

(91) Parked Up And Speeding.
I see this bloke driving his car. He is wearing a blue denim jacket.
He is off his head! As I walk the street he drives slowly and I watch
him. It looks as if he is rolling up a cigarette as he drives along. He
does not look where he is going and then at the last minute he
corrects his steering.

He is parked up against a brick wall now, on the path that I walk
down. He is so unpredictable. I feel that he is likely to run me over.
I am cautious as I walk around his car with its engine running. I
think that he is taking drugs. He appears to be oblivious to
anything around him as he concentrates on something that he is
doing inside his car. Snorting coke probably!

26-5-18

(92) Flotsom And Jetsom.
Lisa goes through her set of songs, but there are some songs that
she cannot find. There are some songs that have slipped her mind.
Sunk into the depths. There are some songs hidden away. As she
fishes out these songs here her acoustic guitar she does play. "And
it is unpredictable." I hear her sing away.
There are some songs that she cannot find. They have swam right
out of her mind. With a set of songs beside the sea, but some
have gotten away. So where have these songs gone? There are
some songs tucked away. "And it is unpredictable." I hear Lisa say.
So it maybe that those songs have just floated away.

(93) A Default.
It is amazing how many coincidences there are. As I make my way
around the cliff top path to dig my heels into the loose soil of this
earth's cliff edge. I listen to a commentary of a woman:

"It is said that the nearest blonde woman will die if secrets are
divulged. Some secrets have been divulged and a woman in the
next room in Scandinavia is shot in the head. She is a blonde this is
true" I wonder to myself, who fired that bullet? The bullet is tiny
but the devastation is real and complete.

So as I navigate this cliff's edge I notice how the trees have been
set. How the trees have been cut back and the shadows that fall
across this cliff's edge path through those tree stumps that remain
and the coincidences are remarkable. How everything falls
together as I risk my life along this cliff's path edge. The
coincidences are astounding as they reveal themselves to me, a
geological truth of fault lines that cross here and so things will
happen how they do.

27-5-18

(94) Reflections Of A Man.
I meet a man who says that he is going for demon treatment. He is
very open about this. He is cheerful and his actions appear
positive, but he seems strange. His eyes are unusual. I seem to
think that I have met this man before. I have a vague memory that
he has told me about the demons in his mind before, only this
time my jaw is shaking uncontrollably and my teeth are chattering
and rattling together. I want to stop this. I want to stop my jaw
from shaking and my teeth from chattering and rattling together.
Then there are those chills down my spine as I reflect upon this
man. This is how this man affects me and It is all very
disconcerting.

(95) People! Pee Pole!
There is a woman, who I would not recognise, with big curly
ginger hair who I used to work with. She tells me that she is in a
new position within that same job and that she has had her hair
done. She wears glasses that look like shades. Somehow she has
contacted me. She has connected to me and she tells me that she
knows me. I see her from time to time walking home from work
along the path, but I never get a chance to speak to her.

I am on my push bike as I notice her from behind. She is walking
along the path on her way home from work on the opposite side
of the road. She never seems to notice me though and I only ever
see her briefly, as I make my way home. I turn off down the road
to where I live and she carries on, straight on along the main road
to where she lives.

Now I am in this old building. I would like some space please.
There are always people around me and I feel the need to
distance myself from them in order to reconnect and to explore
deep within myself. I go to the far reaches of this building, but
there is always someone there. I go out into the garden. I look for
a private space, a place in this garden where I can go, but there
are neighbours out in their garden next door. I want to rearrange
my cock, but there are people everywhere. I search for a little
privacy, but there are always people about and I do not want to
give the wrong impression.

28-5-18

(96) Me-And-Her, And Him.
This is all about Direction, Timing and Flow. We decide where we
want to go. We decide when to do it and then we just go with it
avoiding the obstacles along the way. As Direction, Timing and
Flow we navigate those crowds of people. We meander through
those city streets. We meander through those crowds of people,
me-and-her, and him; Direction, Timing and Flow.

29-5-18

(97) An Astrological Skyscape.
We are looking up at the sky with Venus in Libra. "How much
better this sky looks than those bluish sky alignments in March."
Says this unknown man to me.

As I look up at the sky I ask this man, "What colour is that sky?"
Knowing full well that the sky is in three shades of light red, with
all the planets, stars and galaxies pencilled in. I would just like
some conformation about this.
I am wandering around looking up at this spectacle in the sky. I am
in wonderment. I am wandering around looking up at this
astrological display and I am in awe of this alignment today.

30-5-18

(98) Travel Disruptions.
I am all about building up connectivity. Finding the best ways to
move on smoothly without too much fuss. It feels like I wait here
forever for a connection to take me home. I got an ambulance to
get here, but it is all quiet now as I listen to peoples conversations.
I am here with my girlfriend and we do not speak about this delay
in my travels. You see she will not be travelling with me on my
next journey and so we have more time together. The longer that I
wait with her for this connection to take me off, then the longer
that we are together. So patiently I enjoy the company that I keep
with her, but I am getting nowhere fast here.

31-5-18

(99) A Balloon Slapping Time.
There are some creatures that are similar to lions except for the
fact that they have big heavy balloon bits that they slap down
onto the ground. It is like a huge heavy inflatable balloon that
these lion looking creatures lift up and then smash down onto the
ground in order to mark their domain. We avoid these creatures.
They have us wandering around avoiding them and sometimes we
slap down a large heavy balloon type thing that echoes through
this greenhouse like environment. We do this to move these lion
looking creatures on. My boss Matt is here and he is supervising
this area. I need to negotiate my way around this greenhouse
environment with my boss as we avoid these lion type creatures if
we are to survive here.

(100) Secrecies And Lies.
I talk to people and all my different groups of friends I use a
different language within a language. I use a different way to hide
my communication so that I will not reveal too much. I go around
to Spud's house and he is in bed with his woman. We all have a
chat and I am struck by his woman's communication. As she leans
over Spud in their bed, she is not so pretty but she has an
attractiveness and kindness within her communication. I have to
mask my communication when I speak to her. Somehow I keep
much to myself. I see Spud's brother and again I use a different
language within a language so that I do not reveal anything to
anyone who may overhear me. Spud tells me that he needs to go
out and that he will not be long. He tells me to hold on here and
then Spuds brother says something, but he slurs his words. "Shit! I
will have to be even quicker now!" Spud suddenly exclaims and
rushes off. I do not know what this is all about and no one tells
me, because their communication is masked and they hide so
much as they do not want to reveal too much either.

My favorite verses for May:
56,58,59,67,71,72,incomplete.

____________________________________________________

June 2018
____________________________________________________

(101) Pillocking About On The Railway.
(102) Engaging.
(103) Out Of Control.
(104) Nothing Better To Do?
(105) Abba’s New Song.
(106) I've Been Burgled!”
(107) A Delightful Candelabra.
(108) I Find My Slot.
(109) Boiling Over.
(110) Just Me And A Bumblebee.
(111) A Bad Job.
(112) She Is Kind And I Am So Dumb.
(113) Somewhat The Grey.
(114) Obtrexity.
(115) Plastic Food.
(116) Looking For Lisa.
(117) To Play The Ocean.
(118) Unreal!
(119) As He Goes On.
(120) That Is Okay.
(121) Down By The Cove.
(122) Tracey.
(123) Negotiate.
(124) This Is Where I Live Now.
(125) To Declare Or Not To Declare, That Is The Question.
(126) The Things That She Had To Say.
(127) To Know Yourself.
(128) I Hear Voices!
(129) About You.
(130) A Journey To Thee.
(131) "You're a D.F!"
(132) "She's Not Alan's!"

1-6-18

(101) Pillocking About On The Railway.
There are three of us working on the railway. We are all on this
train and everything keeps going wrong. The train is late or the
train is early. The train has to go back because we forgot
something and we all have a good laugh about this.

One of my railway companions gets very theatrical and passionate
about his expressions. I watch him as he folds himself up. Then he
unfolds himself out along the train track. He then dissects himself
up into chunks and stacks himself up high with a black top hat on,
resting on the top. "We go weird!" I exclaim with excitement to
someone looking on as if they would not know this by now.

There are other train drivers on the railway who are pillocking
about also. They say one thing and do another. I hear talk that
they are going to get a super fast train to beat those pillocking
train drivers at their own game. They will charge off through the
railway system with their super fast train at the very last second
and surprise those stupid train drivers with a last second burst
through the signals on the line. “That will show them!”

2-6-18

(102) Engaging.
There are three talks on tonight and there are three different
women who divide these three talks with their presence. I look at
these women and I note their differences.

The last woman is chatty. She is lively as she smiles and interacts.
She has neat blonde hair to her shoulder and a pretty face. She is
young and attractive as she socialises.

I look forward to these talks tonight, but it is the difference and
the division between these talks that I am most interested in.

(103) Out Of Control.
I tell Dave that I like to drive my car out of control. I get my car to
the top of a grassy hill and I let the car go as I hold on to the
outside of the car, just to see where I end up. Hopefully not in
hospital. So then we both have a go at this. Dave’s white van ends
up behind a garage out of sight and after a fast descent down the
grassy hill I end up going round and round in circles holding on to
the side of my car until it rolls to a stop. This is so much fun and
we are laughing uncontrollably.

3-6-18

(104) Nothing Better To Do?
I try to hide the bootmark on the white internal door that I just
kicked open. I lick my finger and rub the sole print on the white
door and I watch it fade away with every rub.

Later as we all dos out in a room, me and my mates we sprawl out
on the furniture. "Why are they trying to sell watches to men?!"
One of my friends exclaims to the television as if the TV is under
scrutiny. As if the TV is on trial for the adverts that it shows.
“Maybe they think that us men have nothing much to do.”

"Yeah well that’ll be right." I retort in a disinterested sort of way.

4-6-18

(105) Abba’s New Song.
I am queuing up in a line outside what I believe to be a swimming
pool. There are two lines of people next to each other. I am aware
that those people in the queue opposite me have Alan keys to
open transparent tubes that come out from their stomachs. I
decide to leave the queue and I walk off but I can hear some really
nice music. It turns out to be Abba who have just released a new
song. It has an excellent bass line to it, in a laid back reggae style
of music. I discover that this music is coming from the sports hall
where people are performing to this music. Wow! A new song
from Abba and it sounds great!

(106) I've Been Burgled!
There was a young woman with dark long hair. I have been asked
what she looks like because they want to identify her. But that is
just it, she has long dark hair and she had a power tool!

I go back to my house. I cannot remember which house I live in
and it takes me a while to realise that I live in the house with the
front window taken out! ‘This does not look good.’ I think to
myself. I peer into the house through the window less hole in the
wall. I see that all the cupboard doors are left open wide. Maybe I
should see the police and get a crime number for this incident, but
I really cannot be bothered.

5-6-18

(107) A Delightful Candelabra.
This lad plays a guitar solo to me. “Don’t tell anyone. ” He says. I
guess that he should be working on his music project on his own. I
am not sure about his guitar solo. He plays his guitar solo a second
time and I realise that it is meant to be played slow. It is more like
a saxophone solo played on guitar.

"Yeah I get it now." I tell him. It is not the sort of guitar solo that I
would make up, but it is okay.

"Don't tell anyone." He instructs me again in an eager voice, as if
he thinks that I might blab it out to everyone that I have helped
him.

"I'll not say anything." I reassure him. As we are walking away
there is a piano with some lighted candles that have been placed
on the closed lid that covers the piano keys. Without knowing it
this lad gets his shirt next to the candle flame. I give him a shove. I
push him off. "Set yourself on fire if you want to mate!" I tell him
as I make light of this situation, but he does not make anything of
it.
6-6-18

(108) I Find My Slot.
I look for a place to park my songs. I have three new guitar songs
that I have just written. I find a convenient place beside a wall
where there are no double yellow lines. I place these songs there.
They just fit in there nicely and so that is where I leave them.

7-6-18

(109) Boiling Over.
I see Graham at work. Graham is very stressed. He rushes around.
He shouts out loud at his work colleagues for getting in the way.
"There is not much room here and we all have our jobs to do." I
tell him, but Graham goes off the deep end. He shouts and rages.
With passion he expresses his irritation. He used to be so patient,
but not now. He is just an arse now.

8-6-18

(110) Just Me And A Bumblebee.
It is me and a bee, we travel around. We are looking for jobs to do
to pay for our college tuition.

"We are just looking for jobs to do, is an excuse to make some
money to pay for our college education."

Then I think, 'I hope that no one heard me say that. I might sound
ungrateful for the work that we do get.'
So it is just me and a bumblebee who follows me around
everywhere. She used to be my sister in a previous life, but now
she just buzzes around like a stripey dot in the air. She is even
more snotty now. Now that she is a bumblebee!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Just Me And A Bumblebee.

It is me and a bee,
we travel around free.
We are looking for jobs to do
to pay for our college tuition.

"We are just looking for jobs to do,
is an excuse to
make some money to
pay for our college education."

Then I think,
'I hope that no one heard me say that.
I might sound ungrateful
for the work that we do get.'
So it is just me and a bumblebee
who follows me around everywhere.
She used to be my sister in a previous life,
but now she just buzzes around like a stripey dot in the air.

She is even more snotty now.
Now that she is a bumblebee!

(111) A Bad Job.
This lad has taken me with him to this woman's house. He is doing
some painting and decorating there. He has asked me to make
some mugs of tea. The lady who owns this house has shown me
where the tea bags and kettle and things are, but I am struggling.
What is wrong with me? I just cannot make a mug of tea. It goes
to mud and so I think that I cannot give him that. I keep trying to
make him a mug of tea, but I end up throwing it away. I finally
think that I have made a good mug of tea for him and then I
realise that it has taken me so long to make that it has gone cold. I
am surprised that he is not complaining. I should have made him a
mug of tea hours ago. If he offers me any money for helping him
today then I will give him the money straight back. I am useless!

9-6-18

(112) She Is Kind And I Am So Dumb.
Life has sped up too fast, as time goes by so quickly. Lisa is kind to
me and I am so dumb. I try to speak my mind, but my words are
so clumsy, but she does not judge me for this.

There are these sea creatures. Human hybrids between seals and
sharks that we left for dead. They are now healthy and free saved
by our intervention. These animals are like people. They reflect so
much humanity to us as they watch us and we can see something
of ourselves in them.

Lisa and I we scale the dizzy heights of this building and she tells
me that she has known me since 2013. We marvel at how fast this
time has gone by. We negotiate a difficult transfer from an iron
ladder to a concrete block platform. She laughs as she is stuck in
this iron stair well. Like a plug she sets herself free. Like a plug she
pulls herself out from this tight fitting stairwell.

Lisa is kind to me and I am so dumb. She does not deserve
someone as dumb as me hanging around with her and this is why I
love her so much you see.

10-6-18
(113) Somewhat The Grey.
I feel myself as a small skinny light grey alien. I am something else
as well, but that something else whatever it is leaves me
somewhat. That something else that is darker and larger and more
substantial, leaves me to become more of that small skinny light
grey alien. Who comes out as himself, as an aspect of myself from
such deep love, deep within my soul somewhat.

Somewhat The Grey.

I feel myself
as a small skinny light grey alien.
I am something else as well,
but that something else whatever it is
leaves me somewhat.
That something else that is darker
and larger and more substantial,
leaves me to become more of that
small skinny light grey alien,
who comes out as himself,
as an aspect of myself
from such deep love,
deep within my soul
somewhat.

11-6-18

(114) Obtrexity.
For some reason I have a clash of perceptual experience with
someone else uninvitingly. Within his box of perceptual delights. I
pass by through it all refracted. Which alters the visual effect in a
most mysterious way. This puts a few thoughts out there, but it is
a really nice effect.

Then someone starts using obscure voice sounds, but I can read
right through these sounds and I decipher them completely. They
are not so mysterious to me and reveals a gay tendency in that
person who does not know how much they are revealing about
themselves. I am given the word 'Obtrexity.'

12-6-18

(115) Plastic Food.
There is too much plastic. I cook a meal only to find plastic in it. I
even find a plastic cooker with a place to put three triple A
batteries in it and this is in my food! There is so much concern
about plastic in the food that I cook that there is an inquiry into
this.

13-6-18

(116) Looking For Lisa.
There are places where I go where I find Lisa when I want her. I
search through my mind to find her standing there. Just the way
that I want her to be. Just the place where I like her to be. She
stands there looking pretty you see. I search through and she
stands there so true. A picture so pretty. A pleasure to view and
she is so sexy too.

Looking For Lisa.

There are places where I go where I find Lisa when I want her.
I search through my mind to find her standing there.
Just the way that I want her.
Just the place where I like her to be.
She stands there looking pretty you see.
I search through my mind and she stands there so true.
As pretty as a picture.
A pleasure to view
and she is so sexy too. <3

15-6-18
(117) To Play The Ocean.
I play my guitar and I practice an unusual bar chord. The sky is
grey and the rain comes down and floods me out. This bar chord
makes me play my guitar like I have a disability. I feel like a spastic.
Then it is as if the sky becomes the ocean. In an instant I am under
an emense body of water. WOW! This is some bar chord to be
able to do that!

D maj 7 sus 4 bar chord:

e 3+n
b 2+n
g 2+n
d 0+n
ax
Ex

n
0 ---> D
1 ---> D#/Eb
2 ---> E
3 ---> F
4 ---> F#/Gb
5 ---> G
6 ---> G#/Ab
7 ---> A
8 ---> A#/Bb
9 ---> B
10 ---> C
11 ---> C#/Db
12 ---> D
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chord Sequence 1
Bm Em D A
Bm Em D A

Am Dm C G
Am Dm C G

Chord Sequence 2
EGAB
EGAB

D# D C A
D# D C A

riff:
eeggaaa#a#
eeggaaa#a#
aaccddd#d#
aaccddd#d#

16-6-18
(118) Unreal!
I see a foot. It is not a real foot. It is a cartoon foot and it is buried
in this cartoon ground. I see the cross section through the ground
and I believe this foot to be mine. I tilt my leg forward and I tell
myself that it is difficult to do this as my joint on the top of my
foot aches when I tilt my leg forward. 'Why is my leg in this
cartoon?' I am suddenly wondering to myself. 'And why is my
cartoon foot buried under a cartoon ground of soil?' I think that I
may have planted myself here!

Unreal!

I see a foot.
It is not a real foot.
It is a cartoon foot.
It is buried within this cartoon ground.
I see the cross section through this ground.

I believe this foot to be mine.
I tilt my leg forward.
I tell myself that it is difficult to do this
as my joint on the top of my foot
aches when I tilt my leg forward.

I am suddenly wondering to myself,
'Why is my leg in this cartoon?'
'And why is my cartoon foot buried
under a cartoon ground of soil?'

I think that I may have planted myself here!

17-6-18

(119) As He Goes On.
My dad is embracing me. There are three of us. There is also this
lad who I used to work with many years ago. He hangs around us
in silence. I reach into my pocket as I remember about some
change that I got today. "Have you seen this new ten pound coin?"
I ask them and I reveal a heavy silver coin with a serrated edge.
There is also two shades of green within the markings of this coin.
My dad eagerly takes this coin and he inspects it well.

"Shit!" He exclaims as he looks hard into the design. I get the
impression that this coin means something very deep to him and
that I can only guess at the revelation that it reveals to him. My
dad has a military persona about himself here. He goes on to talk
intently and yet there is a subtlety that I do not understand about
him as he goes on talking and he does go on.

As He Goes On.

My dad is embracing me.
There are three of us.
There is also this lad
who I used to work with many years ago.
He hangs around us in silence.

I reach into my pocket
as I remember about some change that I have gotten today.
"Have you seen this new ten pound coin?" I ask them
and I reveal a heavy silver coin with a serrated edge.
There are two shades of green
within the markings of this coin.

My dad eagerly takes this coin
and he inspects it well.
"Shit!" He exclaims
as he looks hard into its design.
I get the impression that this coin means something,
something very deep to him
and that I can only guess at the revelation,
this revelation that it reveals to him.

My dad has a military persona about himself here.
He goes on to talk intently
and yet there is a subtlety
that I do not understand about him
as he goes on talking
and he does go on.

18-6-18
(120) That Is Okay.
I get back with my ex from when I was a teenager or that is how it
feels like to me. Except that she is not my ex really she is another
woman entirely who lives in a much different county from where I
used to live as a teenager. And I am not exactly going out with her.
She is not my girlfriend as such, but she is a good friend of mine
and I do have a crush on her. She like my ex has had her children
with someone else and they have all grown up now. I am in my
fifties now. I have missed out on all of that family life of watching
your children as they grow up, but that is okay. I have extricated
myself from all of that part of humanity for many years until now,
because I feel that I have suddenly dropped back into a family life
that I have never really known before. Into a life that I have always
avoided, but that is okay.

19-6-18

(121) Down By The Cove.
I have some sort of scam going. Being so close to the sea and
everything. I deal in a few illegalities. We have covert operations
down by the cove. Down at the bottom of my bed in the portal of
my room. In the dreamscape of my mind. There is a pathway that
lights up through the green leaves along the trees down to the sea
that laps upon the sandy shore. We have this thing going. There
are deals. It is all hush hush. There is a lot of secrecy around all of
this and I do not want to let on to too much here, but we have
some treasure and we have some beer and I have a woman who I
hold dear ; )
Down By The Cove.

I have some sort of scam going.
Being so close to the sea and everything.
I deal in a few illegalities.
We have covert operations down by the cove.
Down at the bottom of my bed
in the portal of my room.
In the dreamscape of my mind.

There is a pathway that lights up
through the green leaves along the trees
down to the sea that laps upon the sandy shore.
We have this thing going.
There are deals.
It is all hush hush.

There is a lot of secrecy around all of this
and I do not want to let on to too much here,
but we have some treasure
and we have some beer
and I have a woman who I hold dear ; )

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sea Shanty written by Adi Cox:

This version is in C#m, with a capo on the fourth fret:

Down By The Cove.

Intro:
g# e f# c#, g# e f#, g# e f# c#, g# d# b c#
e|4 _ _ _ _ 4 _ _ _ 4 _ _ _ _ 4 _ _ _
B|_ 5 7 _ _ _ 5 7 _ _ 5 7 _ _ _ 4 _ _
G|_ _ _ 6 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 6 _ _ _ 4 6
D|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
E|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Verse 1:]
[Am]I have a [D]scam going[C]
[Am]Being so close to the [D]sea[C]
[Am]I deal in illi[D]galities[C]
[Am]Some interest to [D]me

[Chorus:]
[Dm]Down by the [G]shoreline
[Dm]Down by the [G]cove
[Dm]Down by the [G]coastal path [A]

[Verse 2:]
[Am]There is a [D]pathway[C]
[Am]That lights up the [D]trees[C]
[Am]Along to the [D]sandy shore where[C]
[Am]Where no one [D]sees

[Chorus:]
[Dm]Down by the [G]shoreline
[Dm]Down by the [G]cove
[Dm]Down by the [G]coastal path [A]

[Verse 3:]
[Am]We have some [D]treasure[C]
[Am]And we have some [D]beer[C]
[Am]And I have a [D]woman who[C]
[Am]I hold [D]dear

[Chorus:]
[Dm]Down by the [G]shoreline
[Dm]Down by the [G]cove
[Dm]Down by the [G]coastal path [A]

[Chorus 2:]
[Em]Down by the [A]shoreline
[Em]Down by the [A]cove
[Em]Down by the [A]coastal path [B]
[Em]La de da [A]de dar
[Em]La de da [A]dar
[Em]La de da [A]de dar dum [B][Em]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This version is without a capo, in Dm:

Down By The Cove.

Intro:
a f# g d a f# g a f# g d a e c d
e|5 _ _ _ _ 5 _ _ _ 5 _ _ _ _ 5 _ _ _
B|_ 6 8 _ _ _ 6 8 _ _ 6 8 _ _ _ 5 _ _
G|_ _ _ 7 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7 _ _ _ 5 7
D|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
E|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Verse 1:]
[Dm]I have a [G]scam going[F]
[Dm]Being so close to the [G]sea[F]
[Dm]I deal in illi[G]galities[F]
[Dm]Some interest to [G]me

[Chorus:]
[Gm]Down by the [C]shoreline
[Gm]Down by the [C]cove
[Gm]Down by the [C]coastal path [D]

[Verse 2:]
[Dm]There is a [G]pathway[F]
[Dm]That lights up the [G]trees[F]
[Dm]Along to the [G]sandy shore where[F]
[Dm]Where no one [G]sees

[Chorus:]
[Gm]Down by the [C]shoreline
[Gm]Down by the [C]cove
[Gm]Down by the [C]coastal path [D]

[Verse 3:]
[Dm]We have some [G]treasure[F]
[Dm]And we have some [G]beer[F]
[Dm]And I have a [G]woman who[F]
[Dm]I hold [G]dear

[Chorus:]
[Gm]Down by the [C]shoreline
[Gm]Down by the [C]cove
[Gm]Down by the [C]coastal path [D]

[Chorus 2:]
[Am]Down by the [D]shoreline
[Am]Down by the [D]cove
[Am]Down by the [D]coastal path [E]
[Am]La de da [D]de dar
[Am]La de da [D]dar
[Am]La de da [D]de dar dum [E][Am]

21-6-18

(122) Tracey.
How it all fits in. This has all been done before and so this is the
mould. This is the pattern that I use and I go with it. This is so
other worldly that I cannot explain it clearly. This is so 'out there'
that it is so 'not here.' Like some ethereal bus stop that I wait at
for the movement to begin. Everything falls into place in this
ethereal space that I trace out as I space out here.

(123) Negotiate.
I am walking along and I make my way over some grass from the
park to a path by the road when suddenly I notice a big double
decker bus facing me coming out of a tee junction over across the
road when this big bugs bunny cartoon character jumps up and
appears on the wind screen of this bus obscuring the bus driver's
view. My initial thought is, 'How does the bus driver see past
that?' When I suddenly realise that it is designed to make the bus
driver stop the bus, because this bus has advance warnings built
into it.

I then find myself squeezing through this tiny gap between a large
red pillar box and a stone wall. I am in two minds about whether I
should do this because the gap is tight and I am in danger of
getting stuck, but I have committed myself to squeeze through this
gap now. I panic a little as there is no guarantee that I will get
through here.

(124) This Is Where I Live Now.
I live in this old house. I go back to this house with a large dark
heavy wooden door. It is down the road from the pub on the
corner. I make sure that I get the right door and I get my brass key
out to let myself in. I sleep in the brown comfy chair next to the
dark wooden door that I let myself into. There is someone who
sleeps in the next room and I see that they have only half opened
their curtains and it has gone eleven in the morning. I guess that
they must be running late as I watch them sort something out
whilst they are sat in their comfy chair.

Later I find myself in a discussion with another resident here. I
cannot remember exactly what we discuss here, but she points to
this velcro tab on a cooler bag which is rainbow in colour, but not
a normal rainbow. At the bottom of this tab it is white which goes
to yellow, then there are some indecipherable colours in the
middle and then some bluey and purpley colours at the top of this
velcro tab. She points to the top of this tab and asks me, "What
colour is this?" I tell her that it is purple and she says, "We have
another Richard here. He doesn't know his colours either!"

"Well I am colour blind." I tell her in order to explain myself, whilst
feeling that I am missing out on something here and not
understanding what this conversation is all about.

22-6-18
(125) To Declare Or Not To Declare, That Is The Question.
I tell my sister Maz that I need some work on the disco. She tells
me that she can get some work from Ian. "Let me go and check
when I am free." I tell her.

"You will have to declare that you are living at home and so you
will have to pay tax." My sister warns me.

I think about what my sister tells me. "Yes I still want the work." I
confirm to her and so then we both go off in different directions. I
go to get my diary and she goes to get the information of the disco
work that she is giving away to me, but I am slightly miffed about
the tax thing. I have some deep thoughts about this, 'Is there any
way that I can avoid the burden of paying tax?' I wonder to myself
and I mull on this.

23-6-18

(126) The Things That She Had To Say.
For some reason this lass asked me to answer her phone for her
when it went off. Her friend spoke to me on this phone. We had all
only just recently met previously the day before. All three of us
had been out for a walk together. Of course this lass wanted to
know what her friend had spoken to me about on her phone and I
found it hard to tell her:

"We spoke for a while in a polite kind of way about this and that,
where it was at and what sort of day it had been. The things that
she had seen and what it all could mean about this and that and
where we are all at."
"We spoke for a while
in a polite kind of way
about this and that,
where it was at
and what sort of day it had been.
The things that she had seen
and what it all could mean
about this and that
and where we are all at."

24-6-18

(127) To Know Yourself.
I come free wheeling down the hillside road on my push bike. I
nearly make a wrong turn down this hill as I free wheel so fast. I
notice that my brake cable is nearly snapped. There are frays of
wire poking out of its plastic covering and these wires splay out all
over. "I really need to get this push bike in to be serviced." I tell
myself as it is nearly unrideable.

So I get back to my home and this place is very homely to me.
There are many people here who I live with. They are mainly older
women and young lads. I do like it here. I like the chaos and I like
the kindness of the people who live here. They make this my
home and the fact that I have my own room for privacy. I have my
own space away from everyone else. Where I can truly be myself
and where I can truly find myself.

I find myself deep within. Where no one else can go. This is my
space, this is my place. Somewhere only I can know. This is where I
find my peace. A place to feel at ease. Where a side of me drops
out of this world into a sanctity that is hidden. A side of me that
no one ever sees.

25-6-18

(128) I Hear Voices!
I hear a voice, "I am not for you." I hear Lisa tell me this. There is
no mistaking her South West, Devon accent. She tells me straight,
"I am not for you."

Then in another voice that I do not recognise, I hear the name
'Cary' or 'Kari' or some name like that. Who is 'Cary' or 'Kari' I
wonder to myself?

26-6-18

(129) About You.
I enter this competition to show off my guitar playing skills and to
show off those songs that I sing too. It is important to me that I
get things right here. It is important to me that I represent myself
correctly here and that my dreams are a true reflection of what I
truly feel about you.

28-6-18

(130) A Journey To Thee.
I am walking home late at night. I am behind two women who talk
loud as they walk along. They turn into a bus stop shelter and I
carry on. There is a little icy snow on the paving slabs that I walk
on, but most of the snow has melted.

I am by the sea now and the tide is high. Some of the pavement is
flooded and there are some offices deep in water. I grab hold of
this rail as I walk along the path and that rail falls off and spins into
a wheel. I run off and the spinning rail of a wheel follows me fast
from behind, until I go through a narrow gap and the spinning rail
of a wheel gets stuck hard with a clank!

I find myself climbing down this crane. I know that I should not be
doing this. I grip hard with my hands and like Spiderman I climb
down. It is as if I am climbing down for ages. I did not think that I
had been so high. I touch the ground near the top of this
incinerator and I feel the warmth from it and then it gets much
hotter as I pass over it.

Then I decide to fly like a spirit in the sky. There are workers all
around me, but no one looks at me. I recognize the energy of
someone who I do not know. I know their energy and yet I do not
know who they are. It is because I know their energy that that is
where I go to you see. Just me and thee. The energy that I know.

A Journey To Thee.

I am walking home late at night.
I am behind two women
who talk loud as they walk along.
They turn into a bus stop shelter
and I carry on.
There is a little icy snow
on the paving slabs that I walk on,
but most of the snow has melted.

I am by the sea now
and the tide is high.
Some of the pavement is flooded
and there are some offices deep in water.
I grab hold of this rail
as I walk along the path
and that rail falls off
and spins into a wheel.
I run off
and the spinning rail of a wheel
follows me fast from behind,
until I go through a narrow gap
and the spinning rail of a wheel
gets stuck hard with a clank!

I find myself climbing down this crane.
I know that I should not be doing this.
I grip hard with my hands
and like Spiderman I climb down.
It is as if I am climbing down for ages.
I did not think that I had been so high.
I touch the ground
near the top of this incinerator
and I feel the warmth from it
and then it gets much hotter
as I pass over it.

Then I decide to fly
like a spirit in the sky.
There are workers all around me,
but no one looks at me.
I recognize the energy
of someone who I do not know.
I know their energy
and yet I do not know who they are.
It is because I know their energy
that that is where I go to you see.
Just me and thee.
The energy that I know.

(131) "You're a D.F!"
I am watching a black and white Abbott and costello film from a
grave. They make me laugh and the grave stone that I am perched
on moves making a deep stoney grating sound. Lou Costello is up
a ladder. He finds a little door and he chisels it open. Then he finds
a slightly bigger door which he chisels open, so that the little door
is open within the slightly bigger door that has also been opened.
So this goes on and on until there is a big door with many doors
open within it, that get smaller and smaller, until it gets to the first
door that has been chiselled open.

Bud Abbott asks Lou Costello "What are you doing?" In a
suspicious tone and then qualifies his question to Costello by
saying, "You're a D.F!"

I laugh and I tell my girlfriend who is not watching this film, "He's
a dodgy fucker!" I tell her. "You know these old films are fucking
brilliant!" I inform her in a rather determined sort of way, as I am
still amused with this film that has just finished. My girlfriend just
looks across to me from the kitchen as she is drying some dishes
with a tea towel. She is not really interested and she says nothing.
30-6-18

(132) "She's Not Alan's!"
There is a lass on this train that I like. She has some thumping
good tunes that she sings to and that she raps to. I watch her
stand up from her seat and she takes to the isle of the train to get
off at this station where we have stopped at. 'I hope that this song
that she plays, plays on into the station where she gets off.' I tell
myself. She is a big black woman. An African woman in colourful
African clothes.

I feel awkward. I tell this bloke, "I fancy that woman that Alan
likes." 'Should I have said that?' I wonder to myself as soon as I
have said it.

"You go for her." This bloke encourages me.

"Yes, it's not like she's Alan's girlfriend, is she." I retort whilst
thinking deeply about this situation. I wonder if this bloke will
secretly tell Alan what I have just said.

The woman who Alan fancies is a black woman also, but she is
slim and dignified, just like her friend. Maybe there is a twin thing
going on here, but I still prefer the one that Alan likes. Both of
them are very nice, but that one that Alan likes is the better one.

____________________________________________________

July 2018

____________________________________________________
(133) Jumble Room.
(134) My Reading.
(135) A New Buy.
(136) A Dry Water Drought.
(137) He Is The Star, Not Me.
(138) Received Help.
(139) However.
(140) Babylon's Burning, But Silently.
(141) In Anticipation.
(142) In Need Of A Piss.
(143) The Dealer.
(144) A Boo Boo!
(145) OK Computer.
(146) A Voice That Moves You.
(147) Daft Twat!
(148) Heatwave, Torbay, Devon 2018.
(149) Float On By.
(150) Nothing Much.
(151) 'Up High Along'.
(152) Over My Shoulder.
(153) Neptune personified.
(154) Songs Of Silence, Songs Of Sound.
(155) Ron. (Meditative thoughts)
(156) Zapped!
(157) Astrological Mathematics:
(158) On A Visit.
(159) Untranslatable.
(160) A Vast Reservoir.
(161) Do Not Try!
(162) A Hard Brexit Woman.
(163) Creamy And Yellow.
(164) Followed Back In Time.
(165) Ignorant Twat!
(166) Meet Up.
(167) One Sunny Afternoon.
(168) A Jammer.
(169) Vague Woman.
(170) Timeline Reset Integrate Sync Machine. (T.R.I.S.M).
(171) An Example And A Witness.
(172) Fixated.
(173) Have You Been Talking About Me?
(174) The Unknown.
(175) "Hasn't Anyone Got A Cloth?"
(176) A Witness From Above.
(177) In The Meantime.
(178) They Say ...
(179) A Likely Scenario.
(180) Subtle Manipulation?
(181) The Man In The Air.
(182) The Punk That I Am.

1-7-18

(133) Jumble Room.
I am looking for words beginning with the letter J to describe this:

I jump up. I am like a jigsaw puzzle. Just me, jotting about in a
jumble for some clothes to put on after I awake from my slumber.
I switch the light on to go to the toilet. There are others here. I
sense them. They join me like silent silhouettes who slowly walk
along in my room, which is suddenly all lit up with a switch that I
click on, on the wall. My clothes are all strewn across my floor. I
tidy up. I shut a door. I look around and I clear my floor.
(134) My Reading.
Auntie Brenda has got a boyfriend after all these years of being
single. I go round to see auntie Brenda. I can only see auntie
Brenda for a short time because she wants some privacy.

"I am having a seance." She informs me. "Let me see your palm."
She goes on to say. She holds onto my finger tips, as I show her my
flat palm, as I hold it out to her. She takes a quick look at my palm,
turns her nose up and pushes my palm back to me. 'And what
does that mean?' I wonder to myself.

(135) A New Buy.
I get a new job, but I cannot do my new job whilst I live in a guest
house room. So my boss is considering his options:

"I will have to buy you a house." He concludes. "But I do not like to
buy houses on a Sunday." He goes on to say.

'WOW! He must be loaded with money.' Is my immediate thought,
as I take a good look at him umming and arring about buying me
this house on a Sunday.

"I will need to use a code on a Sunday." He says thinking out loud.

I am like, 'go on dude, do it man!' I am willing him on silently in my
mind. I would like to live in a nice house all to myself.

2-7-18
(136) A Dry Water Drought.
I am on tour with the Prince Of Wales. Everything has been set up
and runs to a plan. I find myself in this old school building as part
of the tour that we are on.

I notice a white porcelain water fountain on the wall outside this
building and I decide to drink some water out of it, but the water
feels warm to my hands. "Maybe the copper pipes that run along
inside the wooden roof of this building have warmed up and that
the water within these pipes has warmed up too." This is what I
conclude to another chap who is a part of the Prince Of Wales
team with us.

I curiously watch this man who is on tour with us. He never seems
to get wet. I am fascinated because I see him as he stands there by
this water fountain with the water spouting down his neck and yet
he does not get wet. He does not notice the water on his neck and
all his clothes are dry, yet I see the water spouting down his neck.
This is strange. Why does he not get wet? Maybe there is a hose
pipe ban due to this heat wave, because I hear that we are in a
drought now and I am in no doubt now that this man should be
wet!

3-7-18

(137) He Is The Star, Not Me.
"...even if it is too hot there. It might be too hot for me to bare." I
find myself saying and I do not know why I have said it, as I
become more aware of my consciousness.
There is a lad who is like me. I take his place sometimes when he
performs. I use his push bike. I am very familiar with that push
bike, but the other lad is the star of the show, not me. And when
we all go out, it is he who people want to talk to, not me. So
quietly I am kept in my place you see. Quietly I follow on with
those other people and no one knows who I really am.

(138) Received Help.
I go to her house and I tidy up. I look for my mugs and glasses that
I have left here, or maybe I did not bring them round here this
morning.

Everyday she gets trapped inside her house. She spot welds a shell
of a caravan inside her house. Mrs Mitchell is happy to receive my
help, before Mrs Mitchell becomes a prisoner of her own home,
before Mrs Mitchell spot welds the shell of a caravan inside her
house. This is something that she does daily. This is her daily
routine. This is how she traps herself inside and the help that I
give her is greatly received.

(139) However.
I give Lisa a lift in my car. We have some banter. We always have
some banter, as we tease each other. There is a communication
breakdown between us and I meet Lisa coming up, as I am going
down on my way back. There are three winding lanes down this
road which are in parallel to each other and Lisa drives down the
central lane every time. She is the arrow in the middle who goes
the opposite way to the outer two lanes. Maybe I can sort this
problem out or maybe I cannot. I languish on this problem. I mull
over the details and I hold back. It might get sorted out or it might
not. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.
5-7-18

(140) Babylon's Burning, But Silently.
It is no star secret that I have never wanted to be a star. So I sit in
my room and I play my electric guitar to myself. I play some Ruts
songs in my room, but I live in a shared accommodation and my
amp is suddenly silenced. It is silenced miraculously. It is as if by
magic that my amp shuts down so that only the quiet tingle of the
strings on my electric guitar are heard. The silencing of my amp
takes me by surprise, but I accept this imposed quietness quite
well, as I keep playing without stopping. It becomes a tingly
version of a Ruts song that does not project any great volume and
so it does not disturb any of the other household dwellers as it did
before.

(141) In Anticipation.
I am in a queue. I have put my feelers out to navigate those
timelines of events that I sense. I see myself as a voluptuous
woman in a black dress. I am in a front row seat now, in an
auditorium, as an audience member to a show that does not
reveal itself. I am with others who are special like me. We are in
the front row and we forge out a future in a mysteriously galactic
way. We are special because with our hybridized ways we lead
new pathways. We lead new pathways as spectators and as the
will of the people in the greatest show ever. The stage is set and
yet it does not reveal itself to us, not yet.

6-7-18
(142) In Need Of A Piss.
I am with this lass. We share legs. My legs slot into her legs and
her legs slot into my legs. I do not know how this works and it
feels strange at first. She is right behind me and we go around a
supermarket to start with. I am a little self conscious at first, but
then I soon get into my stride and then I need the toilet:

The toilets are bricked up. The toilets entrances are two diamond
shaped windows bricked up and painted over in white gloss paint.
I see that Liam Jarvis is attending these toilets. I think to myself,
'Liam is not going to like this.' And I precede to kick in the
diamond shaped window for the male toilets. I kick in those bricks
and I hear Liam exclaim, "Oh no!" Because now he has a lot of
work to do. Then Liam decides to kick in some of these bricks that
still remain blocking up some of this diamond shaped window. So
now the toilets are full of rubble and they take some getting into.
Once inside I notice another wall that is a bit rickety and I ask
Liam, "Has this wall always been here?" And he assures me that it
has. Although I am a little puzzled by it. It is such a mess in here,
but I do need a piss.

(143) The Dealer.
I met Sharon. This is Gale's daughter and she is on a mission. She
has eleven business deals to do apparently. People gossip about
Sharon:

"Have you seen how many razor blades Sharon uses?"

"Apparently Sharon used to be forty four stone!"

All I know is, is that Sharon is sorting out these business deals. She
went out earlier this morning and I have not seen her since. I
guess that she must be still sorting out those business deals.

7-7-18

(144) A Boo Boo!
How we escape the fires of burning wrecks. Homes built as flats
that burn and melt into hot glowing liquids. It is always a shock as
those moltenous ruins visibly glow a bright orangy yellow and we
make our way out from the radiated heat of this glow. There is an
outrage at the dangers and the inflammability that these buildings
present. There is an outrage that we as a peoples here have to
endure this escapade as we help each other along out of these
situations that should never happen in the first place.

This situation is represented as a breast. A big breast that falls out
in a mammary avalanche from a big tity boulder holder, which
holds the power suspended suspectly within the confines of a
black dress. The naked truth pops out from the strap and
confinement in the gravity of this situation that helps to create a
fashionable cover up within the nakedness of this black dressed
beauty. A flop out, helplessly sagging down low. Swinging low to
reveal this sensational show. A flash of volump human female
flesh. A boo boo!

9-7-18

(145) OK Computer.
I am living my life to the full dancing and stuff. I am aware of this
computer that Mark has. He is concerned that it is being over
used. I check how hot the computer is by putting my hand on it
and I notice that it has a number seventy in red L.E.D. digits on the
keyboard and I am wondering what that means. This computer is
being used as some sort of equaliser for music that is being
played. This computer is being used to its maximum. It is only a
little cheap computer but it is running okay for now.

10-7-18

(146) A Voice That Moves You.
"You know when you hear something good, but how do you
define that quality in a singing voice that moves you. We all know
it when we hear it, but how do you define it?"

I ask Noel Gallagher and someone else this and we are all
stumped. We sit there searching our minds in silence and we do
not come up with an answer.

(147) Daft Twat!
"Have you been talking about me?" Lisa quizzes me, blunt and to
the point, whilst she stares at me waiting for my reply. I question
myself:

'Have I been talking about Lisa?' I frantically search my mind and
my mind is not sure. 'Maybe I have or maybe I haven't.' This has
become an inquest and things are feeling a little tense for me now,
but before I can reply a woman who I do not know interjects and
says to Lisa, "But he didn't know." I am feeling exposed here. I am
new around here you see, which makes things all the more
awkward for me, especially as I am not sure what I have said.
Apparently Lisa does not like people talking about her. I am in
trouble with her now and I have a forfeit. I have to sing the song, 'I
Can't Help Falling In Love.' There are two versions of this song and
I want to make sure that I get the gritty alternative version to sing,
but I have not heard that version and then I come up with a
brilliant idea, "I know I'll do my own version!" And I exclaim this
enthusiastically to everyone.

Now everyone is looking at me silently. I can feel everyone as they
stare at me, as if they are working me out and my enthusiasm slips
dramatically. My smile turns upside down and I feel quite silly at
this point. I wish that I had kept my big mouth shut and so I decide
to keep a low profile from now on.

11-7-18

(148) Heatwave, Torbay, Devon 2018.
I sing here by the seaside whilst I capture some sun, whilst I
capture my imagination and I have some fun. I get a feel for the
music and I find a way to play along the Torbay pathway. With blue
skies and sunshine I stand on hot concrete slabs and I sing from
my heart to the seagulls and crabs. On this clear day of sunshine I
watch the waves roll in as I feel the sun burn and scorch my skin. I
languish around with leisure and ease and I capture cool spray
that blows in on the breeze.
Heatwave, Torbay, Devon 2018.

I sing here by the seaside
whilst I capture some sun,
whilst I capture my imagination
and I have some fun.

I get a feel for the music
and I find a way to play
along the Torbay,
along this pathway.

With blue skies and sunshine
I stand on hot concrete slabs
and I sing from my heart
to the seagulls and crabs.

On this clear day of sunshine
I watch the waves roll in
as I feel the sun burn
and scorch my skin.

I languish around
with leisure and ease
and I capture cool spray
that blows in on the breeze.

I sing here by the seaside
whilst I capture some sun,
whilst I capture my imagination
and I have some fun.

12-7-18

(149) Float On By.
"You know you make me smile with some of the things that you
say." Says Tomo to me whilst he laughs out loud. Tomo's reaction
takes me by surprise. It was just a thoughtless comment. I do not
even know what I have said. Whatever I said it was off the top of
my head and it has now gone off into the fogginess of
forgetfulness, just like the little lone white fluffy cloud that has
purposelessly floated on by, across the blue and sunny sky.

13-7-18
(150) Nothing Much.
I am in this big old works building on a night shift. There is another
worker here and he has left a tap running into a sink. He has also
left a door open that leads outside and the wind is blowing about.
'Is he trashing this place?' I wonder to myself. Then another
worker walks in through the door that has been left open.

It is quite desolate in this big old works building and there is
nothing much to do except to while away the time on this late
shift. I would like those others here to keep things tidy, but I do
not say anything. In any case I am here on my own now. One of
the workers walked outside and the other worker who came in
has disappeared in this big old building somewhere. There is
nothing for me to do now. Nothing much is happening here.

(151) 'Up High Along'.
We have our own little group of people who meet up at this
building and we play our music, but often we get interruptions
from people who just want to know how we are doing and this
can be distracting. We ignore these people and sometimes we do
not even let them in.

So I play my Pink Floyd and I practice my riffs to perfection. Until
one day I move people with my music and we all sing 'Up High
Along', as we move to the music of this incredible song. Even
people who do not care about music are emoted along, as in my
rhythm and delivery I can do you no wrong. So now we are all
dancing and singing this song. We feel all of its energy and we feel
it so strong.
14-7-18

(152) Over My Shoulder.
I have some twisted guilty thoughts. The way that I just murder
someone. Murder someone secretly and then hide the evidence.
'Am I a bad man?' I question myself, but mainly I worry. I worry
that the evidence that I have hidden will come to light one day
and that I will be found out. Found out that I am as guilty as sin.
As guilty as sin for the murder that is hidden deep within zip
pockets.

These pockets may be inspected one day, but in the meantime I
play away. I keep to myself my deep dark secret and I say nothing.
I say nothing and I stick to my story so that I may hide the
unspeakable truth and hope that it will be unreachable and that
the evidence is kept hidden. Hidden deep within zip pockets.

15-7-18

(153) Neptune personified.
I am to get somewhere. I am on my pushbike along a coastline
somewhere. As I pushbike along and I marvel at how still the sea is
and at how the light reflects onto the water. For some reason the
sea looks so beautiful tonight. In the distance I catch a glimpse of
a small spray of water on the surface of this still and reflective sea
when I notice a seal. As I keep pedalling along I notice more seals
and then I see that they are laid out all along this wide rustic
corridor that I cycle down. There are so many of them that I
wonder to myself, 'Will I get through on my bush bike?'

Something happens and my perspective changes. It is like I remote
view way up in the distance of this rustic corridor that I cycle
down and I witness so many seals laid out along this land that I am
to cycle down. There is also a very tall man who I notice. He is
horizontal, laid out flat moving across hovering above the ground
back to the sea. How odd this is and I notice that his feet are a two
pronged fork and that the tines of his feet are wide and flat. These
wide flat tines act as a lift in the air as he slowly glides along back
to sea. This is real and so convincing to me. It hits home to me. It
gives me my proof that I need that there is a man who belongs to
the sea.

I am close to the waters edge now. The sea is so still. This tall man
comes out of the sea. He has a hood and he is faceless except that
there are two wide and flat tines, just like his feet, that go across
his dark empty hood. Across the black empty space where his face
should be. His gown is a mottled blue and white. I am scared of
this strange tall man at first, but he reassures me telepathically
and I get the message:

"I am taking you in before your time. You will have to do this."

For some reason I understand that I must go under this beautiful
and reflective still water. He reaches out to me and I am taken
horizontally into this water. I am amazed by his gentleness and the
care that he takes to immerse me. I am ready for this. I
understand that he is giving me a gift from the sea. I am being
aligned. This is Neptune and he is good for me. As soon as I am
immersed in the sea I remember no more. I remember no more of
what happens and I find that I am transported away from the sea
back into my everyday life.

(154) Songs Of Silence, Songs Of Sound.
I reach a place where I sing telepathically. I go through these songs
because there are only some songs that can be sung telepathically.
Most songs cannot be sung telepathically and these songs I sing
too. The difference between telepathic songs and ordinary songs
is similar to the difference between oats and a chocolate bar. One
is more natural than the other.

(155) Ron. (Meditative thoughts)
Almost every morning I walk down the lane beside the golf course
and I go down to the cove by the sea. Often I find golf balls down
this lane that have gone off course. I pick up these balls and I have
a large collection of golf balls now. I get the impression that there
is a golfer who is so bad at golf that whenever he goes on this golf
course he loses his golf balls and that is when I find these golf balls
down that lane. I think that his name is Ron because I found a golf
ball with that name on it. Today I heard someone who sounded
frustrated because he was on the green swearing and cursing.
That must be Ron I think to myself. I have now found another four
golf balls this morning!

16-7-18

(156) Zapped!
I have trouble with the microwave. I put it on for 9 minutes 20
seconds. "You will burn your sponge pudding!" I am told. I turn the
dial but the microwave keeps cooking. I pull the plug out and still
the microwave keeps cooking. I am in a panic now. Those
microwaves could zap me! I open the microwave door and I run
off, away from those waves.

So finally I get my sponge pudding with custard and a mug of
bubbling hot drinking chocolate, but my nerves are jangled now. I
think that those microwaves have got me. My hands are tingling
and I feel a little strange.

(157) Astrological Mathematics:

Spiritual (water) - - (cardinal) - cancer
Spiritual (water) - - (mutable) - Pisces
Spiritual (water) - - (fixed) - Scorpio
[ - minus - ] minimalism, simplicity.
Radicies

Intellectual (air) - - (cardinal) - Libra
Intellectual (air) - - (mutable) - Gemini
Intellectual (air) - - (fixed) - Aquarius
[ + plus + ] positivity, complexity.
Matrices

Emotional (fire) - - (cardinal) - Aries
Emotional (fire) - - (mutable) - Sagittarius
Emotional (fire) - - (fixed) - Leo
[ x times x ] productivity, passion.
Indices

Physical (earth) - - (cardinal) - Capricorn
Physical (earth) - - (mutable) - Virgo
Physical (earth) - - (fixed) - Taurus
[ / divide / ] individuality, calmness.
Fractions

Cardinal - fundamental, dominant, primary. (Number theory)
Mutable - flexible, variable, changeable. (Algebra)
Fixed - determined, settled, stable. (Geometry)
17-7-18

(158) On A Visit.
I am staying at Sharon Taylor's house. Her mum is there too. I
struggle to find my clothes. I am wandering around naked and I
really need to get some clothes on. I think that I put my clothes in
this wardrobe. I struggle to open the wardrobe door because it
has a clever mechanism that allows for greater storage and there
is a knack to opening this door. After a little struggle and a head
scratch I manage to get inside this wardrobe. Yes, my clothes are
here, but there is only one T shirt. I guess that that will have to do.

I go out and I find myself chatting to this young lass. We have a
nice chat but I do not fancy her. I am not attracted to her. She has
ginger hair and freckles and a very serious face. She decides to go.
We have a quick hug and she leaves me on my own.

I key in some items on my small silver lap top computer that I have
with me, but my computer will not let me key in any more items.
There is a clear crystal L.E.D. display on my keyboard that gives the
letters wt. That means weight. For some reason my computer
doubles up as a carry case and it is telling me that the items that I
have keyed into the computer weigh too much to be carried in the
carry case. I never even said that these items were going into the
carry case. Stupid computer. I turn the computer over and there is
a compartment underneath that is open. It has a display light on
that lights up the back panel and it gives off this gentle white light.
There are tiny tools in there all laid out in rows and columns. I
really do not know what these tools are for.
18-7-18

(159) Untranslatable.
Lisa asks me if I can play a song and if I can sing it quietly. "Yes." I
tell her enthusiastically, as I get up on stage and I get into my song.
I whisper sing and I play along. There is something else, but it has
gone. Untranslatable.

I keep up with these music competitions to see how it feels. I play
these songs for people to see what it reveals. There is something
else, but it has gone. Untranslatable.

Rhetorically I am asked, "How long has he been with you?" And
cryptically I am told, "He will live with you, to your short circuits."
This is a clue. Something new. There is something else, but it has
gone. Untranslatable.

Untranslatable.

Lisa asks me
if I can play a song,
if I can sing it quietly.
"Yes." I tell her enthusiastically,
as I get up on stage
and I get into my song.
I whisper sing and I play along.
There is something else,
but it has gone.
Untranslatable.
I keep up
with these music competitions
to see how it feels.
I play these songs for people
just to see what it reveals.
There is something else,
but it has gone.
Untranslatable.

Rhetorically
I am asked,
"How long has he been with you?"
And cryptically I am told,
"He will live with you,
to your short circuits."
This is a clue.
Something new.
There is something else,
but it has gone.
Untranslatable.

(160) A Vast Reservoir.
Door by door, frame by frame. I make myself through this dream.
Step by step, flow by flow, I find a direction in which to go. Deeper
and deeper, finer and finer, my memory comes back to remind me
now. With focus and with clarity, with hope and with parity, in
time I recall all somehow.

(161) Do Not Try!
This lass shows me a video on her phone of Bibsy last year when
he went to Scotland and he had gotten a sun tan. I do not know
what he was wearing on his head, but he has a deep sun tan on
his forehead and then you can see a stark contrast where his skin
is white on the top, back and sides of his bald head. He looks a
twat!

I am stood here smoking talking to this lad. I put a cigarette out
and then I notice in my tobacco tin that I have another proper
filter cigarette in there and so I light that cigarette up too. 'Why
did I just do that?' I think to myself. I am chain smoking here. I am
talking to this lad as I am smoking and I overhear someone talking
about, 'trying to do something.' This gets me started as I go into a
lecture on the use of language:

"That is a bad use of language. You either do something or you
don't do something. You should not use the word trying."

The lad who I am talking to totally agrees with me. He totally gets
what I am saying here. I watch him as he thoughtfully looks to the
ground, as he takes one last drag of his cigarette and as he nods
his head in agreement with me. He flicks what is left of his filter
cigarette away. I watch the parabolic trajectory that his cigarette
makes through the air before it bounces on the concrete ground
and then rolls in an arc to a stop.

19-7-18

(162) A Hard Brexit Woman.
I travel back home a different route and there are four Brexiteers
along this route. They deliver their speeches on hard Brexit, but
are they hard Brexit enough? They are four big beautiful women
and I look at their physical appearances. Are they substantial
enough? Are they hard Brexit enough? They have substance, but
could they have more substance? I look at their three digit
numbers on A4 paper that are safety pinned onto their white T
shirts. I look at their large breasts as they bulge and stretch their
white T shirts. I look at their big bellies that stretching their tight
shorts that they wear. I look at their thick thighs that stand out
there and their bare feet that hold them to the ground.

I imagine the most substantial hard Brexit woman possible. I
imagine this woman as a physical body and let me just say that
you would not push her over. From years of being funnel fed and
indoctrinated she carries much weight. You would not wrestle her
to the ground lightly. If she sat on your face then you would know
about it for sure! That hard Brexit woman is a super sized big
beautiful woman well worth a wank, but you would not
necessarily want to get into a relationship with her!

20-7-18

(163) Creamy And Yellow.
There is a road of ice cream. I give Chris Kirkby a lift along this
stretch of road. I am careful, but it is slightly down hill along the
ice cream road and there is a slight curve along the stretch of
yellow ice cream. I pump my brakes as I drive along, but it is
difficult to drive slow along the yellow ice cream stretch and in any
case this ice cream is melting. There are puddles along here. They
are melting and yellow. Chris Kirkby automatically gets a ticket
along this stretch. The law clock him and my dad spouts off about
this:

"Bloody typical, the council want to come along here and sort out
these puddles! It's a disgrace that we all have to drive along these
melting roads!"

My dad really sticks up for Chris who is a little disappointed, but it
is well known just how creamy the yellow stretch of ice cream
really is and many people have had a taste of this. They find
themselves licking those creamy yellow puddles as they go along.
It is very moreish and before they know it they get caught out.
Before they know it they get caught up with their tongues hanging
out and of course that is when they get clocked by the law. That is
when they get their ticket.

(164) Followed Back In Time.
This is my pit town of Ollerton. If you blink when you pass through
it then you would miss it. I go back in time there. I am in this dark
oily concrete garage there and I am aware of some cranky old men
smoking and talking. They seem dodgy to me and I am always
ready for some banter. I am always ready to talk tough with them.

For some reason I drive to the hospital. I am aware that two
blokes follow me. This is where it gets strange. I arrive at the same
garage that I left and yet this time there is a hospital joined to the
garage. I park up in this dark oily garage. It is dismal and dark, it is
so dingy in that garage. Then I go into the hospital joined to that
garage which in contrast is white and bright with fluorescent light.
I am aware of the two old men who follow me. They follow me
into the hospital. I feel at home in the hospital. I see the two men
arrive. They do not speak to me and I ignore them also, as I
discretely watch them walk past me. I watch them out of the
corner of my eye as they pass me by.

(165) Ignorant Twat!
I walk past a works place and I hear a voice from nowhere shout
out. I do not know what has been said and I walk on. Then as clear
as day I hear:

"Don't you ignore me!"

I decide to keep walking on, but I recognise that voice and I cannot
work out who he is. It bugs me and so I go back to find out who he
is and I meet some more of my ex colleagues who are hanging
around. We have a chat and a good laugh, but I do not find that
person who shouted out at me in the first place. I rack my mind,
but I cannot work out who he is. I just cannot place this man. I
know his voice so well. Where did he go to and why did I not get
to meet him? Maybe he is avoiding me. Maybe he is ignoring me.

21-7-18

(166) Meet Up.
There is a drummer, Drumming along mixing up his beats. There
are singers singing sitting on their seats and clapping, clap clap.

There is a search going on in the key to this song. There is a probe
coming along in the beats that go wrong on a Cajon and we all
meet up in the end.

There is a message that we all send out and a position to defend
as we all shout out, but we all meet up in the end. Yes, we all
meet up in the end.

Meet Up.
There is a drummer,
Drumming along mixing up his beats.
There are singers singing
sitting on their seats
and clapping,
clap clap.

There is a search going on
in the key to this song.
There is a probe coming along
in the beats that go wrong
on a Cajon
and we all meet up in the end.

There is a message
that we all send out
and a position to defend
as we all shout out,
but we all meet up in the end.
Yes, we all meet up in the end.

22-7-18

(167) One Sunny Afternoon.
Reuben gets chatting away. He gets transposing songs. He is
working it all out in his head because if you transpose a major key
into the key of C major, then you can usually get rid of sharp and
flat chords. In a minor key that would work if you transpose into
the key of A minor. Doing this can make a song a lot easier to play.
Chords that are neutral, that are not sharp or flat tend to be much
easier to get your fingers around.

Later I find myself with an ex girlfriend called Dawn. We are on a
big boat going down the river and I see another ex girlfriend of
mine who is also on this boat. I am in two minds as to whether I
should tell Dawn, but in the end I tell her that my ex Sharon is also
on this boat. "We went out with each other in 1984." I inform
Dawn. "When did we go out with each other?" I ask her and Dawn
is quick to reply, "1987." I look over to Sharon on the boat. We
have not aknowledge ourselves to each other yet. I see that
Sharon is talking to someone. I would give her a quick wave but
Sharon is not looking my way and now she seems to have the sun
glinting in her eyes and so her eyes are shut.

Previously I do remember being obnoxious for some reason. This
is nothing to do with my ex girlfriends. I am obnoxious to some
lads who for some reason have got my back up. I do not like being
like this but for some reason, and I do not recall why, I just get
wrong headed. I have this bad attitude that I display disgracefully.
It is just a phase that I go through and I am over it now.

So I arrive with Dawn at my parents' house. My sister and my
mum are there. Dawn has never met my sister and mum before
and I wonder how they will all get along together. Dawn gets
chatting to them and it all seems quite convivial and natural. I just
listen to their girlie talk, pleased that they all appear to be getting
along quite nicely.

23-7-18

(168) A Jammer.
I am keeping a low profile. There are many of us who play guitar
here and I wonder how I am going to assimilate myself amongst all
these guitarists. Some of them are a bit clicky with each other and
I wonder if I will ever get a look in with my jamming here. I have
my trusty chords and I have my blues scale, but how will I get a
look in? They say patience is a virtue and I am no virtuoso, but I
can rattle something out, if I ever get a chance. I can find
something to shout about and sometimes people dance, but will I
ever get a look in?

24-7-18

(169) Vague Woman.
There is a blonde haired woman called Donna who organises her
life so that she can remember her dreams. I wonder how she is
getting on with that. I wonder how that is going. She seems quite
vague about it. She does not say too much, but she says that it is
going well. I do not get to know too much about this, with its non
linearity in nature, it loses information. It does not transfer well
into our linear realm, but she does say that she travels out of her
body.

25-7-18

(170) Timeline Reset Integrate Sync Machine. (T.R.I.S.M).
I feel different this morning. A change has taken place within me.
My clothes do not fit me like they used to. I have come in from a
much different timeline. This may be due to a trism, (T.R.I.S.M).
From what I understand the trism is a car that has doubled up as a
vehicle that can time travel. Apparently one of the female singers
from the group the B52's had a son who was born in the 1990's
who time travelled from the year 2036 in an ordinary looking car
that had been specially adapted. He gave the B52's the lyrics to
their song Trism. This was in the early 1980's before he was even
born!

Well now my car is behaving like a trism, as one of my headlights
is not working. I guess that a bulb for the headlights has blown
and so now I am in a new timeline where I have to replace this
dud bulb with a new one. Instead of travelling back in time I have
managed to move into a new future. This is not something that I
have planned. It is a mystery to me as to why my bulb would blow.
I am told that nothing is random in this universe.

Much of my conscious memory regarding this event I cannot
access within the deeper levels of the subjective process that has
led up to this event happening. I would like to say more on the
actual metaphysics of this time travel/timeline shift, but I feel that
I cannot and that the deeper level cause of this shift will have to
remain a mystery.

(171) An Example And A Witness.
I am cooking some mince in a most unusual way. This mince is in a
microwave oven, it is folded up into two layers equally. Both layers
are exactly the same, one layer is folded on top of the other. There
are four of these trays of mince. Two at the back of the oven and
two at the front. I am not sure as to what this mince is made from,
but I know that it is vegetarian. I watch the tray cook. For some
reason only the tray in the front on the right of this oven cooks
and it cooks in seconds. I watch the steam come off the mince and
I watch how the two layers meld together under the heat that is
produced from the microwave oven. Then I take the tray out of
the oven and place it on the side to cool off.
I go out for a walk and I wander around this hot dusty land. I am
aware, as I watch the other people wandering around that these
people do not have the livestock that they once had. This is
because people are mostly vegetarian now. Whole industries have
folded due to the changing attitudes of people. I am both an
example and a witness to this change. I am a vegetarian.

25-7-18

(172) Fixated.
I go through my mobile phone which monitors my bio-chemistry.
Biological explosions and chemical reactions flash up on the
screen as moving text that scrolls up. These details run off so
quickly. I feel great sensations that mirror the information on my
phone. I am spoilt in this reality, but at a deeper level my bio-
chemistry has been corrupted. I draw on my inner resources as my
mobile keeps me high, as my eyes fixate on the screen and my
mind works out why these sensations mirror my vision. So this is
how my biology reacts to stimuli and all those little things that I
do. How my biology reacts to my need to get a fix and how I
become the content of what I view.

(173) Have You Been Talking About Me?
(This song has been inspired from the dream/verse (147) Daft
Twat! )

Intro:

e|_____2_2___0________2_2___0
B|_____3_3___2________3_3___2
G|_____2_2___2________2_2___2
D |_ _ 0 2 _ 0 _ 0 _ _ _ 2_ _ _ _ _ 0 2 _ 0 _ 0 _ _ _ 2
A |_ 2 _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0 _ _ _ _ 2 _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0
E |0 _ _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0_ _ _ 0 _ _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0

_____D_D ___A_______D_D ___A

[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[A] |||
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

Verse 1:
'O' [D]I've been [C]looking for you [A]here down [Bb]town
The [D]sun is [C]shining and [A]you're so [Bb]brown
[D]Living in a [C]dream where [A]ever you [Bb]go
But [D]there's one [C]thing that [A]I want to [Bb]know

Chorus:
[N.C.]Have you been talking about me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[N.C.]Have - you - been - talking - about - me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[A] |||
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

Verse 2:
I [D]see you in the [C]park with your [A]friends all a[Bb]round
I [D]keep my ears [C]close to [A]those on the [Bb]ground
I [D]listen to the [C]gossip and I [A]know what you [Bb]say
I [D]want your ad[C]mission and I [A]want it to[Bb]day
Chorus:
[N.C.]Have you been talking about me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[N.C.]Have - you - been - talking - about - me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[A] |||
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

Outro:
e|_____2_2___0
B|_____3_3___2
G|_____2_2___2
D |_ _ 0 2 _ 0 _ 0 _ _ _ 2
A |_ 2 _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0
E |0 _ _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0

_____D_D ___A

[N.C.]I said, "Have you been talking about me?"

27-7-18

(174) The Unknown.
This collection here is on holiday down here in South Devon. I am
their vehicle for vacation as they have come through me before.
Almost as soon as they come through me my memory starts to
fade and disintegrate. So what is the point of that I wonder? It all
comes back to me in a second part of a dream. I see streets on a
map. I see the visions of my dream and I travel through these
streets on this map and they take me to where I do not know. I am
in this coach going along the metallic means. I am travelling along
these ratios and I see them as two dimensional shapes:

x^2 - nx - 1 = 0

The above quadratic equation has the following solutions:
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
n | x =[n + or - sqrt(n^2 + 4)]/2
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
0 | x =[0 + or - sqrt(4)]/2 = +1 and -1
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| The Golden Mean:
1 | x =[1 + or - sqrt(5)]/2
| = approx 1.61803398875 and - 0.61803398875
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| The Silver Mean:
2 | x =[2 + or - sqrt(8)]/2 = 1 + or - sqrt(2)
| = approx 2.41421356237 and -0.41421356237
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| The Bronze Mean:
3 | x =[3 + or - sqrt(13)]/2
| = approx 3.30277563773 and -0.30277563773
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 | x = approx 4.2360679775 and -0.2360679775
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 | x = approx 5.19258240356 and -0.19258240356
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
6 | x = approx 6.16227766016 and -0.16227766016
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
7 | x = approx 7.14005494464 and -0.14005494464
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 | x = approx 8.12310562561 and -0.12310562561
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 | x = approx 9.10977222864 and -0.10977222864

The above shapes can be repeated infinitely in their bottom right
corner so as to complete the rectangles. The ratio that these a x
na shapes are perpendicularly repeated at is:

([n+sqrt(n^2+4))/2]-n)^-m

where, golden mean n=1, silver mean n=2, bronze mean n=3, and
so on down through the metallic elements. It is not strictly defined
which metallic elements follow on from bronze. Maybe copper
n=4, aluminium n=5, tin n=6 and so on. m is the number of times
the a x na shapes have been scaled down to b x nb and repeated.
When m is odd then side b is horizontal and side nb is vertical.
When m is even then side b is vertical and side nb is horizontal.
28-7-18

(175) "Hasn't Anyone Got A Cloth?"
We all go performing over in Brixham tonight. Lisa, myself and this
man who is very wealthy are having a good chat at the end of the
night. Mr wealthy says how well we perform together and how we
all seem to loop together nicely. I look at the surface of the bar
table that we are all sat at. There are puddles of drink standing
proud on top of its wooden surface. I reflect on these puddles as
they reflect the lighting through their globular transparency.

(176) A Witness From Above.
I am watching the traffic from above. From my room window. I
notice a van pull up at a junction with another van behind it. The
van in the front has its back doors swinging open and so the van
from behind drives up real close and nudges these doors shut, but
then there is a crash of broken glass and the back doors fall off the
front van. With that the van driver from behind is out of her van.
She is a black lady and she quickly picks something on the road. A
white woman in the front van gets out now and these women
have a heated discussion. For some reason I notice these two
ladies are carrying a lot of headphones on them. They abandon
their vans and walk off with these head phones. There was other
stuff going off in the traffic but I was too busy watching these two.

(177) In The Meantime.
I am in my room and there is a traintrack just outside. In fact there
is a train there stood still on the tracks and it is starring right
through my window, right inside my room, silently and lifelessly as
if it has nowhere else to go.

I am outside now arranging some of my belongings beside this
lifeless train that is stood still on these old rail tracks. I place my
belongings neatly on a wall as I listen to a lass and her friends talk
amongst themselves. They are not aware of me being there. I get
the impression that she is pregnant as I half catch a few things
that they say. This is significant information to me as I have
recently had sex with her. I notice a young black lad who walks up
to them. They are sat on the steps to a building in front of a door.
Although they are obscured from my vision, I do notice this black
lad who walks up to them before he too is obscured by the
building and I hear him confidently say out loud, "Hello, you
pregnant slag!" 'Well that was subtle.' I think to myself and I get
the feeling that I might be in some trouble here. Although this
does not phase me. It gives me something to mull over in my head
in the meantime, as I just continue to rearrange my belongings
neatly on the wall, as I am overlooked by the train that appears to
have nowhere else to go.

29-7-18

(178) They Say ...
I am told that there are strange beings who visit us discretely and
that they do not like people wearing clothes and so I take my T
shirt off. I am told that they can monitor to see if you have a voice
and that most people do not have a voice. You can talk all day, but
you are likely not to register very high on their monitor system,
because it is not a real voice that you have. We only use the words
that we are fed to say and that our originality is so weak. In any
case we have lost our way. I am told that this is what they say.
These strange beings who come to us discretely, from a long long
way away.

30-7-18

(179) A Likely Scenario.
I have a shower and then I make my way across the guest house
landing. I make my way back to my small guest house room where
I am surprised to see that the landlady has stripped my bedding.
There is clean bedding that has been left neatly piled up in my
room. She has left the job half done and I am aware of my
nakedness beneath my dressing gown. I imagine myself poking out
of this dressing gown. I look around but the landlady is not here.
She is not in my room now, but I guess that she may return soon.
She is not far away. I reveal myself from my dressing gown
conscious that she may return. I feel that I share a little of my
privacy with the way that she just comes in and strips my bed, but
I do not mind. Maybe one day she will catch me out and see me in
my entirety. This seems likely to happen but I really do not mind. I
smile to myself as I imagine the shock that this would cause. I
amuse myself with my thoughts about my privacy being breached
as I imagine the look on her face : O

(180) Subtle Manipulation?
I have been wandering around this big old mansion house. I have
been up to allsorts, but I have this amnesia and I cannot
remember all that I have done. I am talking to Wendy Woo now. I
listen to her talk as I stretch out and I fold this pale blue sheet. I
fold it through these matching pale blue rings at the corners and
the intermediary points on each side. So I listen to Wendy say:
"I am just wondering what would happen if I went the legal route?
In fact I did do! I tried that many years ago."

As Wendy reveals this information to me I get the impression that
this did not go too well for her. I get the impression that she went
the legal route with her own son and that she did this because she
wanted the outcome that she wanted. She reveals so much more
to me than just what she tells me as I get my impressions
intuitively. So now I wonder, maybe she is trying her clever little
ways on me!

31-7-18

(181) The Man In The Air.
There is a lot of jumping about going on. I am travelling through
the green green grassy hills of this countryside, when I notice
people jumping from great heights and throwing things about. At
some point I plan to jump the coastal waters onto another green
and grassy land, but in the meantime I see some people messing
around and they appear to be having fun. There is a man sat, high
up on a step ladder which is then pushed forward. The man at the
top of this step ladder arcs forward through the air and then lands
safely to the floor. There are other people throwing tools around
that just miss this man on the step ladder. I see some big hammers
flying through the air, just missing the man arcing through the air.
'What a strange occupation.' I think to myself. I take a good look at
this man. He has short blonde hair and a serious face. Three times
in a row I watch him as he arcs through the air, as he is sat high up
on the top of these steps only to land up on roof tops and other
areas high up from the ground. I hear a man shout out, "Come on
John you've had three easy ones now!" As John prepares once
more to arc through the air high up on the top of these step
ladders. 'How does he keep on doing this?' I wonder to myself.
With his circus mind for performing he seems to fair so well, in the
green green grassy hills of this countryside, as far as I can tell. He
seems to be enjoying himself. He does not seem to care, as he arcs
across once again and comes tumbling through the air.

(182) The Punk That I Am.
We have got section 4 to do today. We have to copy it up and to
laminate it. Also we have intersection 4 to do. This will be enough
for one day. We will do section 10 and intersection 10 another
day. The lecturers take their time on these things. There is no real
rush.

I get talking to Sam East and we get talking about technical
information. He has a lot more to say than me. He says that he has
his electronics up in the attic. He also says that all his information
gets saved from his computer electronically up into his attic, which
makes things easier for him. "Yes it is all about getting organised."
I say into response to what he has just told me. I run out of things
to say to him and so I move on. I also get to have a chat with Pete
Willoughby, although I cannot remember exactly what we discuss.
I notice that he does most of the talking. He seems to know what
is what.

I on the other hand am feeling rebellious. I do not like to have to
do this work. I do not agree to the information that is given to us. I
take delight in writing a damning report for one of the lecturers to
read up and mark. I poo poo this syllabus in my report. I express
my distaste and I take delight in expressing this as I feel that I am
stifled. I feel that I am corralled into a learning position that is
unwarranted and I refused to go there. So my only course of
action is to flag up these errors. To highlight this travesty. It will
not make me popular, but it will make me feel much better inside
because this is how I truly feel and so I express myself truthfully
and passionately as the punk that I am.

____________________________________________________

August 2018

____________________________________________________

1-8-18

(183) Solving Polynomials By Factorising.
I am going through nth degree polynomials here looking at the
process of factorising. I have been intrigued by the fact that there
are some 5th degree polynomials that are unsolvable. Here I work
up the nth levels of polynomials and the patterns that are
appearent for solving these polynomials. So with this I am using
inductive logic. ultimately I am considering that maybe there is a
new type of number with unusual properties waiting to be
discovered that will make these difficult unsolvable 5th degree
(quintic) polynomials solvable. This would be analogous to some
quadratic polynomials needing imaginary numbers which needed
to be discovered in order to be solved.

A solvable Quatratic:

x^2-5x+6 = (x-a)(x-b)
**********
a+b=-5
ab=6
**********
-2 + -3 =-5
(-2)(-3)=6

therefore a=2, b=3

(x-2)(x-3) => (x=2)(x=3)

A Solvable Cubic:

(x-1)(x^2+6-2x-3x) => (x-1)(x^2-5x+6) => x^3-5x^2+6x-x^2+5x-6
=> x^3-6x^2+11x-6

*************
a+b+c=-6
ab+bc+ac=11
abc=-6
*************

-1 + -2 + -3 =-6
(-1)(-2)+(-2)(-3)+(-3)(-1)=2+6+3=11
(-1)(-2)(-3)=-6

(x-1)(x-2)(x-3)

(x=1)(x=2)(x=3)
A Solvable Quartic:

Ax^4+Bx^3+Cx^2+Dx+E
******************
a+b+c+d=B
ab+ac+ad+bc+bd+cd=C
abc+abd+acd+bcd=D
abcd=E
******************
(x-a/A)(x-b/A)(x-c/A)(x-d/A)

A Solvable Quintic:
Ax^5+Bx^4+Cx^3+Dx^2+Ex+F
******************
a+b+c+d+e=B
ab+ac+ad+ae+bc+bd+be+cd+ce+de=C
abc+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=D
abcd+abce+abde+bcde=E
abcde=F
******************
(x-a/A)(x-b/A)(x-c/A)(x-d/A)(x-e/A)

An Unsolvable Quintic:

y = x^5-10x+2
Use a little calculus in the xy plane to show the polynomial attains
a maximum at -2¼ and a minimum at 2¼. These are all the real
roots of y'=5x^4-10, and there are no other local maxima or
minima.

5(x^2-10^1/2)(x^2+10^1/2)

The graph crosses the x axis once to the left of -2¼, once between
-2¼ and 2¼, and once to the right of 2¼. Therefore y=x^5-10x+2
has 3 real roots and two complex roots.

Ax^5+Bx^4+Cx^3+Dx^2+Ex+F
1x^5+0x^4+0x^3+0x^2+10x+2
******************
B=a+b+c+d+e=0
C=ab+ac+ad+ae+bc+bd+be+cd+ce+de=0
D=abc+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=0
E=abcd+abce+abde+bcde=10
F=abcde=2
******************
(x-a/1)(x-b/1)(x-c/1)(x-d/1)(x-e/1)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guess answer number 1:
a=-3,b=-i/3,c=-2,d=i/3,e=3

B=0

C=(ab=i)+(ac=6)+(ad=i)+(ae=-9)+(bc=2i/3)
+(bd=1/9)+(be=-1)+(cd=-2/3)+(ce=-6)+(de=1)
=[6-9+1/9-1-2/3-6] + [i+i+2i/3]
=-10.'5' + 2.'6'i

D=(abc=-2i)+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=0

F=2

(184) I Just Do What I Like.
We take it in turns to pick up our push bike, walk in circles and
then throw the push bike to the ground. My push bike is in two
bits now. The carrying rack fell off. There is one lass who came late
to this group session. She said that she fell asleep again. For some
reason I am not in a group. I am just mixing in with various groups
at random whenever I can fit in.

Later I find myself in a hut with four others. One of the organisers
comes in with his clip board. He has information on the other four
people but he does not have any information on me. "Don't worry
about it. It makes sense. I am not really a part of this group." I tell
him, but he still radios through to someone to cover his back, to
make sure that I am okay to be left behind. We are all a bit of a
rabble to be honest, but we are all having fun.

(185) Our Familiarity.
When I am with Lisa there is a little bit of canoodling and
sometimes we may contodjulate. We work this building that I am
familiar with. Maybe a little too familiar at times. I think this as I
slide down the staircase banister and she grabs me by my arm.
She guides me kindly. She reassures me, she lets me know. I know
now that I should not do some of the things that I do, but I like to
try things out. I put my arms around her sometimes and she does
not seem to mind, as we interact. Our familiarity is what I like to
explore and what I like to find out about her. This is what I like to
share with her, because I enjoy the fact that she feels so kind to
me and sometimes when I least expect it, I find that I think about
her. I find that she is often on my mind.

Our Familiarity.

When I am with Lisa
there is a little bit of canoodling
and sometimes we may contodjulate.
We work this building that I am familiar with.
Maybe a little too familiar at times.
I think this as I slide down the staircase banister
and she grabs me by my arm.
She guides me kindly.
She reassures me,
she lets me know.
I know now that I should not do some of the things that I do, but I
like to try things out.
I put my arms around her sometimes
and she does not seem to mind, as we interact.
Our familiarity is what I like to explore
and what I like to find out about her.
This is what I like to share with her,
because I enjoy the fact that she feels so kind to me
and sometimes when I least expect it,
I find that I think about her.
I find that she is often on my mind.
2-8-18

(186) A Curse On The Library Door.
I listen and I watch my grandma interact with some young
musicians. She is a musician too you see and she is on the phone
to one of them even though she is in the same room as him. There
is some friendly banter between them. She throws her tissue at
him which falls short of its target and she is laughing.

I walk home from this gig with my sister and when we almost get
home I see some hands waving at us as if to instruct us to get
down. 'This is very odd.' I think to myself. I notice that my dad is
laid down half hidden in someones front garden. He waves me
over and instructs me to get down with his hand all at the same
time. My sister Maz by this time is further on up the road. When I
get to my dad he tells me that there is a crazed murdering
madman in the neighbourhood. "Great that is all we need!" I reply
sarcasticly to my dad.

So a while later of crawling around, I make my way covertly and
under the cover of night. I make my way into a local library and I
chat with the librarian in there. I am slightly disturbed by the way
that the library door just opens up automatically when anyone
arrives in there, with that crazed mad murdering madman around
this neighbourhood. As I chat with the librarian I realise that she is
very much together. So much more together than me. She is not
phased by a troublesome crazed mad murderer in this district, as
if she is somehow protected with her public empire of books that
surrounds her and as I shit myself everytime that fucking library
door automatically opens. I warm to her as I stir and I let some
feelings inside me occur.
(187) "Maybe Tomorrow." Is My Answer.
I am planning on going out doing some shopping soon. I am with
Lisa. I am totting up all the shopping items that I need. I did not
know that I had run so low on food. Lisa is asking me questions
about my shopping habbits and I am having to think hard about
this:

"I know that there is one milk left." Says Lisa informatively. I think
about this and I remember seeing a green semi skimmed milk
carton. I think to myself that I will definitely need to go out
shopping soon, only because Lisa is quizzing me on this, otherwise
I would not have thought about food shopping at all. And so the
big question is ... ?

3-8-18

(188) Aut And Tistic.
I am on holiday with two autistic brothers. One is ten and the
other brother is fourteen years old. They have difficulties
assimilating themselves into any social order. The fourteen year
old is really getting on a lot better now. He has become more
confident around people now. I give these brothers a hug
sometimes. The ten year old is a little more awkward, but they
usually appear to be happy. They are very excited at the moment
and full of energy which is always great to see. Although they have
their difficulties, they are both very likeable characters.

(189) The Dream Relationship.
I show how it goes in a relationship. I set an example you see. I
match a different mood for my girl. One for each day of the week.
I play them to her like a true craftsman you see. I take on the lead
as I am so true. I am a shining example of how a relationship can
go. So I must say that she follows me on with my knowledge and
she is eager to know in her own most beautiful way.

Then I wake up in my bachelor room on my own as a single. My
reality is so different to my dream, but as I spend so much of my
life fast asleep this is not as bad as it would first seem.

The Dream Relationship.

I show how it goes in a relationship.
I set an example you see.
I match a different mood for my girl.
One for each day of the week.
I play them to her
like a true craftsman you see.
I take on the lead
as I am so true.

I am a shining example
of how a relationship can go.
So I must say
that she follows me on
with my knowledge
and she is eager to know
in her own most beautiful way.

Then I wake up in my bachelor room
on my own as a single.
My reality is so different to my dream,
but as I spend so much of my life fast asleep
this is not as bad as it would first seem.

4-8-18

(190) Within A White Light Sight.
As I move around here I am struck by how close I am to this
woman and how white the concrete is here. The concrete roads
and driveways are so clean and white in colour that I marvel at
this, as the scorching hot sun bleaches everything in sight, in this
white light.
\|/
-O-
/|\

There is more to this but my memory has faded.

5-8-18

(191) Slow Waters.
Slowly I guide my boat back to shore. This boat bumps onto the
quayside as the waters gentlely rise and fall. So I have just got
back to this marina and I moor up. I do not know where I have
been as I reflect into these waters. As I trance out and stare into
the light that flickers upon this surface swell. As I listen to these
waters lap upon the side of my boat, that bobs about slowly
afloat.

(192) Trapped In My Room.
I make my way in song. I make my way as I reach out along in my
mind. Is there a knock on my door? Or am I hearing things? It was
like a tap on the wood. I open my room door and I look across the
landing, but there is no one there. So I go back into my room.
Suddenly there is a crash! And a bash and a tumble and a thump
on my wall. I rush to my door, but as I push my door to go out
there is something on the floor. My door will not open. My door is
shut tight. So what has happened to me this night!?

Trapped In My Room.

I make my way in song.
I make my way as I reach out along,
in my mind.
Is there a knock on my door?
Or am I hearing things?
It was like a tap on the wood.
I open my room door
and I look across the landing,
but there is no one there.
So I go back into my room.
Suddenly there is a crash!
And a bash and a tumble
and a thump on my wall.
I rush to my door,
but as I push my door to go out
there is something on the floor.
My door will not open.
My door is shut tight.
So what has happened
to me this night!?
(193) Mr Quench.
I am out on the town and I am stood talking to this lass. There is a
lad sat outside a pub who we have a breif chat with also. He is sat
at a pub bench and after he has had a chat with us I notice that he
gets deeply involved with his writing. He has his head down
scribbling away. I notice that he has a newspaper with him also
and I wonder what he is writing.

There are some big old victorian houses here that have been
converted into flats. They have stone steps outside their front
doors. As we are chatting, this lass and I, we notice two lads
walking down some of these stone steps. But one of these lads
has coke cans fixed to his clothes. He is covered in coke cans all
over his jacket, all over his jeans, there are these coke cans held
within special pockets just big enough for coke cans to fit into. We
both find ourselves looking at this lad walking down these stone
steps with his friend and he is really struggling. He is really
encumbered with the weight of all these coke cans.

"I think that he has a problem there." I point out to this lass as we
get distracted from our conversation.

"Yes, I think that he has a coke problem." She adds as we both
start laughing and we watch this lad struggle along, as he heaves
himself along down the street.

"That's funny." I conclude, stating the obvious and then we are
lost for words for a while as we are both a little puzzled as to why
anyone would need so many cans of coke.
6-8-18

(194) She's Behind You!
"She's Behind You!"
"Oh No She's Not!"
"Oh Yes She Is!"

I am walking along down the path next to the road with this bloke.
I notice a woman outside her front garden pottering around, when
I am suddenly aware that the bloke who was walking along the
road with me has vanished. I look further and I notice that he is
hastily walking off, before he hides behind some bins. It is then
that I remember that he owes some money to the butcher. I
wonder to myself, 'Maybe she is that butcher.'

It is ages before she goes into her house. I am standing there and
then when I think that she has finished in her garden. I tell the
bloke with hand signals that it is all clear. Only for her to pop back
up in her garden again. So then I have to tell him to get back, but
eventually she goes back into her house. By this time Lisa has seen
this bloke who is called Dave. Lisa and Dave are best friends. So
now all three of us are able to walk past this woman's house and
this is when I realise that somehow I have gotten involved in
Dave's drama.

(195) Thank You.
I am leaving this place and this young lad has made me a going
away present. He says that it took him six days for him to make it.
It is all neatly compacted up into cubes and planks and various
other shapes that are all well wrapped up that builds up into a
bigger box. I dwell on this going away present and I am lost for
words. I would really like to show how grateful I am. I would like to
show my gratitude to this young lad, but I really do not know how
to. I really did not think that anyone would do such a thing for me!

(196) The Privilages Of Royalty.
I am aware of all the things that the royalty has to go through. All
the pomp and ceremony. All their responsabilities. I mean a young
royal has to really want to have this position. I look at the Queen
and she tells me genuinely that her son really wants this position
as a royal. So then, as if she is putting in a good word for her son
to get a new job, the Queen goes on to tell me:

"I think that he really wants to be a royal because he is really
motivated for this position and because he really wants a mobile
computer game."

I am staggared. I am sure that there are easier ways to go about
getting this. Rather than going through the whole trouble of
making sure that you are encarnated into the life of royalty. All
that just in order to get yourself a mobile computer game! Does
the soul and spirit of royalty not have a better goal than this to
work to? Surely they could create a mission in life that is a little
more inspiring than that!

7-8-18

(197) Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'
I bought my Raleigh Nitro push bike back in 1995. It cost me £100
bran new. Sadly my push bike now needs all new bearings. It has a
broken foot peddle from when I fell off it and it also has a
puncture too. I cannot justify doing my push bike up, but I cannot
bring myself to scrapping my push bike either. It has been so good
to me over all these years. So it remains locked up to a rail outside
in the back garden in a sorry state, rusty and unused. So this
brings about my dream that is written up in this verse:

Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'

I go into the build of a child.
Just my push bike and I.
As I ride down
the path to the coast.
As I make my way
each and every day
to the sea.
My push bike and I
we run free.

With songs on my mind
and with hope in my heart.
I find myself down
to the coast by the sea.
My push bike and I
we run free.
Everywhere I go
my Raliegh Nitro and I.
My Raliegh Nitro and I
we run free.
All through the years
my Raliegh Nitro and I.
My push bike and I
we run free.
8-8-18

(198) My Inmates And My Artistry.
Because I know what they all work to, I initialy cope very well
here. I get myself in a book. I get myself in a book as someone
who really knows exactly what he is doing in jail. I come up with
exactly the right deal and even the inmates here are impressed
with such the artistry that I have within me. I flick through this
book that I am in and I am surprised : O I am surprised to see my
work in there. All the visulisations in black and white with its deep
contrasting content and how this really shows off the deep
feelings of such a serious nature and I get the emoji of the facial
features of those people who are around me and who I have come
into contact with. I just know what to do with them and I am very
confident with my work, but even so I am still surprised : O I am
surprised at how well my work is being received. This has helped
me to become accepted within this prison population that I find
myself in. Somehow I have carved out a social status for myself
that I otherwise would not have been able to enjoy within this
population.

9-8-18

(199) A Fabric Of Time.
We have our host and we all go up on stage and so the patterns
change. Horizontal stripes merge into vertical stripes. Dots explete
out into squares. Colours ignite and then they disintergrate and
they all fold out in a line. Then without warning. All of a sudden a
freaky person with the confidence of a crazy invades my space.
Without warning he arrives at this place here right now. In dull
light, In the darkness of his pose. His face finds its place in my
sight and it wakes me up out of this night.
(200) Unconscionably.
I am not sure what I am doing. I think a lot about what I should do
here. I get prepared and I think about all that I should do in this
time.

"I have just been shopping." I tell my woman, as I stare at the
bulging bags on the back seat on my car that I have filled up, but I
am still not quite sure if I have done the right thing here.

"Good man." My woman says in reply to me, but I am not sure if I
hear her correctly.

"Sorry?" I say, as I make sure that I listen to her more carefully this
time.

"Man." She says quietly to me this time and she seems to be
preoccupied in her thoughts as she says this. I get that she does
not want to patronise me. I think that she is grateful for what I
have done, but she does not want to treat me like a child.

10-8-18

(201) How Do We Know When We Forget Something?
I get myself out of that cave, but not before I forget everything
that I have just been through. I meant to remember everything
this time. I meant to remember all of my adventure, but now all I
remember is running back through that cave from my adventure. I
remember that still body of water beside the pathway within
those cold grey walls and I remember the pale grey light that lit up
bright within the cave walls. I remember the equipment of a
guitarist on the floor, but the guitarist was not there, by that water
in the cave, as I ran past.

I come up to a narrow passageway and as I do so I wonder how I
am going to get past those people. They have shoes and shoe
boxes piled up high from the cave floor. They are in my way and it
is just then within that pondering, within the negotiating of that
gap that I forget my adventure. It is just then that I realise, as I
search my mind frantically, that all those thoughts that I once had
have escaped me completely. I have clearly forgotten that one
true adventure that I once had, the one that I had meant to
remember!

(202) A Transposition Of Love x.
"Love, love a love, love, love. I love you." I get these loving
messages from an extratarestrial species. There is a geometry to
these loving messages and it is elliptic in shape. I feel these elliptic
messages as circles that are stretched down by gravity and I feel it
in that particular way:

So I transpose the general formula:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

Transposed explicitly to y where a<b we get:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

=> b^2/y^2 = 1 - a^2/x^2

=> y^2/b^2 = 1/(1 - a^2/x^2)
=> y^2 = b^2/(1 - a^2/x^2)

=> y = +&-[b^2/(1 - a^2/x^2)]^1/2

Transposed explicitly to x where a<b we get:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

=> a^2/x^2 = 1 - b^2/y^2

=> x^2/a^2 = 1/(1 - b^2/y^2)

=> x^2 = a^2/(1 - b^2/y^2)

=> x = +&-[a^2/(1 - b^2/y^2)]^1/2

(203) The Cost Of Living.
I am with these two women. I do not know who they are and yet I
know that they are with me. So I drive these two women about
and yet when I go to park up I am on my push bike alone. There is
this woman who is waving over to me with her money in her hand
in this open space that leads onto a country cafe. 'She must be
mistaken talking to me.' I think to myself. I nod at her to
aknowledge her, but she is rude and loud and demanding
attention, so I mostly ignore her and her burdenous ways. It feels
a little awkward as I lock up my push bike to the rusty old railings. I
wonder if I am on camera here. I am using this cafe so I should be
alright to park up here, but this world is of business it is mean and
it does not like to give without taking. It does not like to give
without making some money.
11-8-18

(204) "Don't Bring Me Down."
There is this strange little man messing around. He is only three
foot two. He does not look so real in this dark dark light. I view
him and he is acting such a fool. It seems to me to be obvious that
he is going to let himself down and nothing is going right for him
in this fickle town, but then nothing ever could, as he sets himself
up to fail. He is really no good you see and I will tell you his tale.

Out in the garden he is fixed to a tree with his bits and bobs and a
drill, as far as I can see. He does his little jobs in no time, but then
he is stuck up in a tree. He is a strange little man as far as I can
see. "Don't bring me down." He says, as he is only three foot two,
stuck up in that tree with nothing better to do. He is being guided
in such a dull dull light, as he gets himself around within this dark
dark night. He is such a dull dull man and there is something not
quite right. It is not just about his little height. He acts a little
strange and he is an unusual sight. He is that little man who is just
not quite right.

"Don't Bring Me Down."

There is this strange little man messing around.
He is only three foot two.
He does not look so real
in this dark dark light.
I view him and he is acting such a fool.
It seems to me to be so obvious
that he is going to let himself down
and nothing is going right for him
in this fickle town,
but then nothing ever could,
as he sets himself up to fail.
He is really no good you see
and I will tell you his tale.

Out in the garden
he is fixed to a tree
with his bits and bobs and a drill,
as far as I can see.
He does his little jobs in no time,
but then he is stuck up in a tree.
He is a strange little man
as far as I can see.
"Don't bring me down." He says,
as he is only three foot two,
stuck up in that tree
with nothing better to do.
He is being guided
in such a dull dull light,
as he gets himself around
within this dark dark night.
He is such a dull dull man
and there is something not quite right.
It is not just about his height.
He acts a little strange
and he is an unusual sight.
He is that little man
who is just not quite right.

This poem above is sourced from a dream that was a little creepy.
I wrote this dream up as soon as I woke up from my dream. I was
all bleary eyed and between the sleep state and wakefulness
when I wrote this dream up. This was a dream that gave me chills
down my spine. It has been so very difficult to put words to this
dream as, as in many dreams it was very surreal and so very much
out of this physical world, but after a lot of deliberation and care
the above poem is the best account that I can give.

12-8-18

(205) As I Wratchet Up This Musical Moment In Time.
I am sorting out the pipework here. There are great long rails of
music score to fix, as I get my wratchet out and I losen the rusty
nuts free from the clasps. I take down some of this rusty pipework
that comes in staves. They are five horizontal, parallel pipes with
notes on them and some of these pipes have become rusty. I take
them down to clean them up only to put them back up again later
once they have been cleaned up.

Mark Reynolds is here. He wants me to follow along with him.
There is some sort of music going on and he does not want us to
miss it. "I am sorting out this pipework." I tell him, but Mark is
persistant. Although I am determined to get this rusty old musical
pipework cleaned up and put back up. I decide to take time out to
go and follow Mark, as this is a rare musical opportunity that Mark
is wanting me to go to with him. "I'll sort this pipework out later
then." I say to Mark having been persuaded, half reluctant to
leave the work that I am doing and half fixed upon this musical
opportunity that I will be sharing with Mark.

The musical opportunity with Mark is not the stave pipework that
I am currently on now, but a much cleaner and simpler musical
experience to wratchet up, because it is more of a single solid bar
which is much thinner and made up from stainless steel. It runs
along horizontally in a thin clean silvery grey colour which is quite
impressive really. This is how I see it anyway. It is within a circle of
my mind at this moment of time, because it is a figment of my
imagination at this moment in time. You see I have a thing about
my timing and the time signitures that I keep and that I use. So
this is something that I am really interested in looking into.

(206) A Walk In The Park.
I wake up and I dream. I go into a dream through some hyprtext
that spells out the word 'dream.' There is a man who I have gotten
to know. He is the stereotypical old professor who dashes about
and gets confused. Who loses his glasses and bumbles about
intelligently. He is busy and troubled and he works so very hard.

So one day I am out for a walk in the park, when this professor is
so rude as to push past in front of me. And as he does so he falls
down hard. He bangs his head on the wall of a bouncy castle that
has been inflated in the park. I am in shock and a man in the park
points his finger at me, "He pushed him!" He shouts out accusing
me of causing the professor to fall. The man shouts this out just as
the professors head bounces back up off the bouncy castle wall.
The professor then replies in an insant, "Oh no he didn't." And
with that the professor dashes up the bandstand steps in front of
me. Eager to get on with the work of the day and I carry on with
my walk in the park, untroubled and relaxed and with nothing to
say.

(207) Within A Community.
I have many channelled recordings on Youtube. I am just deciding
to what position I come in with all of these channelled recordings.
I see the length of one of my recordings as one hour thirty three
seconds and I slot myself in here somehow. It is just like I park my
car up inbetween other cars that are parked up at the side of the
road. The way that I slot myself and my car in here is awesome,
which means that I come about fifth or sixth place with all those
other musicians around me. I am happy with this position. To be
honest I am just happy to be a part of this community of
musicians.

13-8-18

(208) A Prime Position.
I keep slotting two audio tape cassettes into a plastic case and
then taking them out again. I keep rearranging them to find the
best way to fit them into this plastic case. There is also a little
booklet that goes in with them. I decide to place them in a 619
position. The digit one being the booklet. The six and nine being
the two cassettes as the cassettes are thicker at one end. I wonder
if 619 is a prime number.

So if no number between 1 and the square root of 619 divides into
619 exactly without a remainder then 619 is a prime number.

Using the iterative nth root formula we get the following
calculations for the square root of 619:

nthRoot(A) => (1/n)[(n-1)x + A/(x^n-1)] = x

This is an iterative formula where the two x values to the left of
the equals sign can start at any value, but a close approximation to
the solution is prefered. The resulting x value to the right of the
equals sign will become a closer approximation to the solution.
Put this x value into the two x variables to the left of the equals
sign and then keep reteating to keep getting closer results:

nthRoot(619) => (1/2)[(2-1)x + 619/x^(2-1)] = x

starting x value can be any value. So I decide to start with x=20.

nthRoot(619)iteration(1) => (1/2)[(2-1)20 + 619/20^(2-1)]
= (1/2)[20+30.95] = 50.95/2 = 25.475

nthRoot(619)iteration(2) => (1/2)[(2-1)25.475 + 619/25.475^(2-
1)]
= (1/2)[25.475 + 619/25.475]
= (1/2)[25.475 + 24.2983316977]
= 24.8866658489 this is a close enough approximation to the
square root of 619 for the purpose of finding outif 619 is a prime
number.

So if no number greater than one and less than 24 divides into 619
to give an integer answer then 619 is a prime number.

A is the value being investigated (619).
m is the values between 1 and 24.
x is the value to the left of the decimal point.
y is the value to the right of the decimal point.
(If y equals zero in any of the answers below then A is not a prime
number.)
*The asterisk indicates where m is a prime number.

A/m=x.y

619/2*=309.5
619/3*=206.'3'rec
619/4=154.75
619/5*=123.8
619/6=103.1'6'rec
619/7*=88.'428571'rec
619/8=77.375
619/9=68.'7'rec
619/10=61.9
619/11*=56.'27'rec
619/12=51.58'3'rec
619/13*=47.'615384'rec
619/14=44.2142857143 to 10 d.p.
619/15=41.2'6'rec
619/16=38.6875
619/17*=36.4117647059 to 10 d.p.
619/18=34.3'8'rec
619/19*=32.5789473684 to 10 d.p.
619/20=30.95
619/21=29.'476190'rec
619/22=28.1'36'rec
619/23*=26.9130434783 to 10 d.p.

There is no y value above that is equal to zero and so this is proof
that 619 is a prime number.

(209) So What Is In Your Sandwich?
As I go through this space. I feel myself, with my taste, getting on
with things. As I fold my sandwich so to speak and I collect my
human experience for what it is. As I bite into the softness and the
freshness of this bread that is my life right now, where I have
made it into this place of discernment right here somehow. As I
take this bite and enjoy this feast I feel that I still have a lot more
to enjoy now.

14-8-18

(210) Why?
There is a lot of pillocking about. Two people jump on me and
start writing on my head. I get them back immediately in anger. I
get some ink on their heads too. I lose my patience with them.
Violently and angrily I pen and ink their heads, to get my revenge
on them. I press on hard on their scalp with my pen. So now we all
look a right mess. I still have to get my jobs done here with all this
grafitti on my head. My mum is not happy with me. I get told off
by her for my behaviour. I get a good dressing down by her for
what I have done back in anger and for letting those people write
on my head. This writing on peoples heads has gotten well out of
hand now. I feel self conscious as I push bike through the streets
with black ink scribble on my head. It hurts too when people
scribble on your head. It is like a monkey scrub. When people
scrub their knuckles on your scalp and you know how painful that
is! I do not know how this all started. I feel that I have been
attacked for no reason. I am annoyed that people just go around
scribbling around on other peoples heads. Why do they do that?

15-8-18

(211) My Girlfriend And Her Peculiar Performing Pet.
I am in this office unit with my girlfriend. I am in here having a
shower. My girlfriend is here also whilst I am having this shower.
There is not a lot of room in this office unit and the shower is in
the way of my girlfriend. She cannot get past me. I am naked in
this shower and she is stood there unable to get past me into the
next part of this small office unit. "Do you want me to stop my
shower so that you can get past?" I ask her.

"No, you're alright." She replies, but I do stop my shower and I do
let her get past me in this small office unit. Next she gets this little
pet thing in a small cage out. I am fascinated, I have never seen a
pet like that before.

"You have got some muscles you have." I say to this small creature
in its cage. As it gets up off all fours, sits down on its bottom and
then flexes its bicepts at me, then it looks up to me in silent
expectation. "Well! I have never seen a creature like you before." I
say to it in wonderment as I look down at this strange creature in
its small cage whilst I am naked and dripping wet in this shower of
mine. My girlfriend is in the next room of this small flimsey office
unit now. She is sorting things out appearently.

(212) Too Much For Me Now.
I go into my channelings and I pick up some new energies that I
have never picked up before. All the chatter goes into such a high
vibration until I just cannot understand what I hear anymore. I do
not make out on a human level the messages that I receive
anymore. So these new messages that I get now I decide to leave,
because they are too much for me now, for sure.

16-8-18
(213) I Wish That I Was In A Band.
Andy and I are out in a pub listening to this band. We are sat next
to each other at a table fooling around pretending to play the
keyboard on this table top. I mimic the sounds of the band that is
playing tonight. I pretend to play their music, as I splay my hands
out to reach those difficult notes on this formica top. Then
suddenly I exclaim, "Where's the keys!" I put my head down until
my face is right up to the formica. So that my nose is nearly
touching it and I take a good close look at my pretend keyboard in
this goofy kind of way. Andy is sat next to me and he pretends to
play his keyboard also. I reach across over to his side of the table
and I pretend to press a button on his pretend keyboard. I keep
looking over to his side of the table to see how he pretends to play
his keyboard and he is really good at it. He is really putting some
thought into his actions. He is concerntrating so hard that he does
not let anything distract him from his imaginary keyboard. Maybe
this is because like me, he is a musician too.

17-8-18

(214) Sober Thoughts.
I meet this new woman in a new place. Not too far away. In
another physical time space. In another spacetime dimension.
Because this is a new way of playing and this is a new way of
thinking. Cheers to all those people drinking and sinking so deep.
Deep down into those densities. So here I am thinking that I am
the only one, who does not do drugs. Those drugs that actively
hug you into an addictive relationship. Those drugs that hug you
into submission, on a trip. On a pub mission's pissed up
permission slip.
Sober Thoughts.

I meet this new woman
in a new place.
Not too far away.
In another physical time space.
In another spacetime dimension.
Because this is a new way of playing
and this is a new way of thinking.

Cheers to all those people drinking
and sinking so deep.
Deep down
into those densities.
So here I am thinking
that I am the only one,
who does not do drugs.

Those drugs that actively hug you
into an addictive relationship.
Those drugs that hug you
into submission,
on a trip.
On a pub mission's
pissed up permission slip.

(215) This Day.
I find myself with the luxury and the pleasure to choose. To
choose where I take my life. I choose how I move on with my life.
How I move along this leafy green hill that I climb up and the
traffic that I find along the way. As I look through those branches
to that sunshine mind that glints within the sway of the breeze.
The sunshine mind that glints within the subtlety of the light that
shines down on this day.

(216) In The Extreme.
Okay then let us draw a line in the sand. Let us decide now where
the line is between myself and true reality. The difference
between what I think is happening and what is actually
happening:

I dream of a tornado with its funnel of cloud spinning up to the
sky. I am told in my dream, "That's not a tornado. This is a
tornado!" And suddenly the funnel of cloud gets so much thicker
and darker and spins so much faster, out of control, up into the
sky. So now the dream becomes so much more real and I feel so
much more emotionally charged in the extreme than I ever did
before.

I become emotionally attatched to the mathematics of a swirl on
the xy plane that leads up to the sky along the z axis. I see
cylindrical coordinates and I see a cone:

Cylinder z: z = (x^2)/(a^2) + (y^2)/(b^2)

Cone z: (a^2)z = x^2 + (y^2)/(b^2)

I see a cone with an elliptical cross section and a vertex at the
origin. So then the formula becomes:

ax^2 + by^2 + cz^2 + 2fyz + 2gxz +2hxy = 0
if and only if,

[a h g ]
[h b f ] = A
[g f c ]

where the determinant of this matrix equals zero, |A| = 0

Working out the determinant of this 3 x 3 matrix we get:

|A| = a(bc - f^2) - h(hc - fg) + g(hf - bg) = 0

----------------------------------------------------------
reference only:

[a b c ]
[d e f ] = M
[g h i ]

|M| = a(ei - fh) - b(di - fg) + c(dh - eg)
-----------------------------------------------------------

19-8-18

(217) We Put The Pieces Together.
I am living in the same block as this Liverpudlian woman. I listen
intently to her accent as she speaks. We seem to get on well.
Maybe she likes me. It is unusual that I live in the same block as
her. This would have been unheard of before, but things move on.
Things change and I am privilaged to be living here now. Yes, I
have the privilage to live here and that is all that there is to it. You
see things move on in opposites and this is the attraction. This is
not a puzzle, but the analogy is there.

We Put The Pieces Together.

I am living in the same block
as this Liverpudlian woman.
I listen intently to her accent
as she speaks.

We seem to get on well.
Maybe she likes me.
It is unusual that I live
in the same block as her.
This would have been unheard of before,
but things move on.
Things change
and I am privilaged to be living here now.

Yes, I have the privilage to live here
and that is all that there is to it.
You see things move on in opposites
and this is the attraction.
This is not a puzzle,
but the analogy is there.
(218) Because I Am Free.
I am just talking about my playing style here and nothing else, as a
musician in Torbay. I plug and play. What else can I say? I go
around by the houses and I meet myself down by the cut. Down
the busy streets where most of the traffic goes. I do not know
what other people think of me. I do not know what other people
think of my style of playing. With my acoustic guitar and the style
of songs that I choose to sing. I guess that I am privileged to be
doing these rounds at all. I am excited to be on the circuit here. To
be a musician in Torbay is a very fine thing indeed. Let loose the
artist in me and my creativity is freed. Let loose the animal in me
and take him off his lead. Let loose this dog to roam into the starry
night. Free to do his reportoir into the morning light.

20-8-18

(219) There Is No Handle.
There is this man in a pub. He is not getting drunk but he is having
a drink. He has a dance but he does not dance too much. What is
the chance that we all meet this man in the same pub? I say a pub
but in reality it is more like a cricket pavilion. There are no words
to describe this scene and if there were then we would not know
exactly what these words all mean. Somewhere in the ether like
smoke in the sky, like whispy clouds passing by. I cannot put a
shape to it. I cannot describe my emotions towards these people
in this pub but there is some trickery going on. There is falsity in
the news. There is underhand reporting supporting certain
peoples views. I cannot put a handle on it. I am at a loss to
explain, but deep inside my heart the essence of this situation is
as clear as it is inane. We are lied to by the press. The truth is not
for us to see. This scene is so contrite, but this is how it is all
meant to be. Playing certain mind games to baffle you and I. This
news is so false and so we should just let it pass us by. Too foolish
to dwell on. As flimsy as can be. Turn away your attention now.
There are better things for us to see.

21-8-18

(220) I Seek.
My dreams are hiding from me. They watch me from a far, deep
inside my dosey mind. All manner of surrealism swirls around
within this distant place that I struggle to find. My dream friends
they play with me. They tease me with their hide and seek. In
silent demure they watch me, but they never speak. They keep
their eyes on me from this distant space. Deep inside my slumber I
get a glimpse of them from time to time, but they play around
with me. They seem to be so shy. Deep inside my memory, vaugly
in my minds eye.

Show yourself and speak with me and tell me what you know! I do
my inner work but you never seem to show. You always run away
from me. Show yourself, speak to me my dream friends. I love you
from my heart, because you are a part of me, but you are so aloof.
Tell me that you love me. I need to see that proof.

In my waking hours I know that you are still around. Silently I hear
you in a sense that's so profound. You tease me with your gifts of
hope and then you run away. My dream friends I want to see you
in the light of day. Tell me that you love me. This I need to hear
you say. Don't hide from me! Why do you run away?
I Seek.

My dreams are hiding from me.
They watch me from a far,
deep inside my dosey mind.
All manner of surrealism swirls around
within this distant place
that I struggle to find.
My dream friends they play with me.
They tease me with their hide and seek.
In silent demure they watch me,
but they never speak.
They keep their eyes on me
from this distant space.
Deep inside my slumber
I get a glimpse of them from time to time,
but they play around with me.
They seem to be so shy.
Deep inside my memory,
vaugly in my minds eye.

Show yourself and speak with me
and tell me what you know!
I do my inner work
but you never seem to show.
You always run away from me.
Show yourself,
speak to me my dream friends.
I love you from my heart,
because you are a part of me,
but you are so aloof.
Tell me that you love me.
I need to see that proof.
In my waking hours
I know that you are still around.
Silently I hear you
in a sense that's so profound.
You tease me with your gifts of hope
and then you run away.
My dream friends I want to see you
in the light of day.
Tell me that you love me.
This I need to hear you say.
Don't hide from me!
Why do you run away?

(221) This Is My Direction.
There is myself and this woman. We take people out. We take it in
turns to drive the tram, but we are not always sure which way the
tram goes. Sometimes it becomes more like a trolley bus.
Sometimes it knocks things over. Where are the tracks? I think to
myself and then I find that I have gone wrong way. As I knock
chairs and tables over, I feel so guilty. What will people say?

I take my dad out in his wheelchair. Myself and this lady, I push
him along. I do a nifty little manouver, but I splash him from a
puddle. I make my excuses and I explain myself away, "I was
avoiding that bump when I went into a dip. So I had to turn to the
right to avoid that puddle" I say to my dad in haste. Then I am
suddenly interupted ...

22-8-18
(222) I Am Different.
All the musicians they all sound the same. They sing la la songs in
their own cheeky way, but I am different and I am here to prove to
you all just what they are like by way of contrast. You see I am me
and they are them. I feel their songs essence in a way that is hard
to describe, but they give off this sense a certain vibe. That is hard
to convey just how they all circumscribe. Our own musical way is
as an acoustic song. I play one of my own and it all goes wrong,
but the other songs are fine songs and I sing them out strong.
Their songs are long songs and my songs are fast. They are short
songs of hope, but I come on last. Just to prove that I am different.
By way of contrast.

23-8-18

(223) Wound Around.
I get confused. I am recording our music on tape. I have this
microphone that I use, but I wander off with it. The cable lead to
this microphone is also joined to the tape recorder, it trails along
behind me, infinitely long wherever I go. Except that this lead is a
thick and black hollow rubber tube. I wander off so far in space
and time. I only realise what I have done when I have wandered
off so far away onto the other side of town. I have to retrace my
steps to get this rubber hollow tube back. It gets wound up in
people. I have to feed it out of every taffle. I have to tug of war it
with people in the general public to get back this hollow rubber
cable on my mic to get back to the tape recorder on the other side
of town. I hope that this makes a good recording and I hope that I
can finally sort this whole thing out.
24-8-18

(224) These Inconsistancies. (They wake me up into a lucid
dream.)
I am sleeping in this room. I am on a floor, someone else has the
bed. This is a meager existance. I am fidgeting. I am moving
around. I am rearranging myself to find a comfy spot on this floor
as I sleep. But for some reason I suddenly find that I have woken
up and I wander off. I get these flashes of a place that I have never
been to before. I take a good look where I see these scriptures
that are in a language I do not understand. Where the geometry it
kaleidoscopes and then I know that I have travelled to somewhere
else.

It is on my return to my room when I notice that my room has
changed. It is larger, the bed is not there. "Hey! What is going on?"
I shout out loudly. I raise the alarm. I raise my concerns. This man
who must be a guard tells me to shut up and raises his hand with
a dagger in it, but I am not afraid. I know that this place is not real
now. I know that this guard cannot kill me. I grab hold of him with
my bare hands and I shake him. His dagger can do nothing to me. I
am aware now. I am just so aware and I so, do not care now.

You see I have been listening to four binaural beats
simultaneously. I find them on Youtube videos. These beats have a
left and right ear difference of 0.25, 0.5, 0.9 and the schumann
resonance of 7.83 Hertz. Multiply these four frequencies together
and we get a resulting left and right ear binaural difference of
0.880875 Hertz. For over an hour today I listened to this binaural
frequency vibrate inside my head before I get to go to sleep. This
is the brainwave entrainment that I have been exploring that has
resulted in my lucid dreaming. This is the binaural frequency that
has got deep into my consciousness.
(225) The Property Game.
"Let's say that you are in property. So let's do the property game!"

I get a crumbly old building. Its walls just reminds me of a square
flan base.

"So what would I do? I would be tempted to cover it in butter. I
would smooth out the butter on those flan base walls like render. I
would get all that greasy yellow dairy fat into the gaps of those
crumbly walls. I have my doubts now. Maybe this building is not
worth saving."

I say this having used up the biggest pat of butter for render that
has ever been made.

"Maybe this building is just about to fall down and it is only the
land that it stands on that is worth anything. I really do not know. I
would like to find a property that looks like a scone. I would like to
fill it up with butter, strawberry jam and double cream and then I
would like to eat it all up at eleven O'Clock in the morning. I would
wash it down with the largest cup of tea that the world has ever
seen!"

26-8-18

(226) A People In Another Place.
This is not the first time that I find myself in this elliptic curve
place. A place of slow movement where everything is difficult to
do. My awareness of this place is deep. So I express myself in the
way that I know best and I repeatedly shout out:
"You people, you squarely freak me out! You people, you squarely
freak me out!"

But they will not reveal themselves to me, or maybe I will not
reveal myself to myself. I have this two dimensional visual image
of a white blob in a sky blue background that I shake with my
hand.

But it is such a deep place of slow movement. A space that I
willfully find my traction in and where I push myself through
forward. It is a place of deep self awareness unlike anywhere else
that I have ever been to before and it takes a long time to get
through it, but finally I eventually find myself back here home
from my 'out there' journey that I have just slowly swum back
through.

(227) Dark Secrets In Dark Institutions.
"It was like we was in a situation comedy. It started off quite fun.
We was having a laugh with it. Every time something went wrong
we would have some fun with it, but now it has all gone horribly
wrong."

I say this to another member of staff, but then there is like an air
of ice cold silence after I have spoken. This silence is only broken
by another staff member whispering to me, "Don't say any more."
I suddenly feel bad and I feel that I have spoken out of turn. That I
have broken a code of conduct somehow. So now I silently think
about what I have just said and I am made to feel guilty.

Something has gone wrong in this establishment. People are
complaining. Family members of the service users here are
questioning the staff in this institution. They quiz us about our
conduct. I do not know what I should do now. I am told to play the
Pleiadian CD by another staff member. You see things have been
confiscated and I do not always know where these things are now.
The public are openly confronting us. The public are angry and we
the staff are getting their abuse.

You see one of our service users who was our responsability stole
a red double decker bus full of other service users. He drove it
around wrecklessly and at speed, knocking things over. I watch the
internal camera footage from this bus. I see all of the other service
users falling around inside as the bus is violently shaken about
whilst it is being driven so badly. This must have been so terrifying
for those people on board, I think to myself and then the gravity
of this whole situation sinks deeply into my mind.

28-8-18

(228) On Top Off The World.
There are these people in the forces who do exactly what they
want to. They are on international boarders and they are a law
unto themselves. Multilinguistic, they radio into various places
portraying different people in different situations and in different
countries. When you have superiority like these guys then you can
do pretty much what you want. They meet up high up on a
mountain plateau on international boarders, but I know that some
of them have their secrets. Some of them are falsely
impersonating people who they are not. With their linguistic skills
they are able to change nationalities to cover up their tracks along
these remote boarders. They switch sides at will and work within
various different organisations and so they pretty much have their
own sovereignty. I am just a witness here. I listen to these people
discusing various things that they are doing and I know that they
have their secrets. They are smart people and they are getting
away with it all the time because they can do. There is no one who
can tell you what you can and cannot do when you are at this
level. So they are left to their own devices. Free to do whatever
they choose to do. There is one lad who says that he is changing
to navy colours. This is symbolised by a white aircraft that he
switches to.

"There is a harbour near here so if I am in the navey then these
people who we are in constant contact with now have no control
over me."

He points this out to us in a matter of fact sort of way and I smile
with my deeper knowledge about him, because I know that with
his linguistic abilities he also changes his nationalities as well
which these people do not know about. He can avoid any direct
orders from anyone. There is no one anywhere who can tell him
what to do.

(229) A Locksmith's Nightmare.
I have been making this tool box with a spring loaded lock in it.
The teacher is here to take a look at it as he picks up this lock
device. "Have you done any more to this?" The teacher asks me as
he has this thing in his hand. It is a rusty piece of work with a
massive double spring on it. It has been slow progress getting this
tool box together and this spring loaded mechanism is prooving to
be difficult.

"I have done a bit more work on it." I say to the teacher being a
little disappointed at my own slow progress. The teacher is being a
little careful with this spring loaded device that he is trying to
open. "Just rip it open. If you break it I can soon mend it." I say to
the teacher to encourage him to get into this device.

"I'm not going to break it!" The teacher replies sternly in a gesture
that shows both a bit of responsabilitynand a bit of respect for my
work. Me myself, I am just a little weary at what I have done here
and I have lost some of my interest in this project as it has become
much more difficult to complete. Especially this double loaded
spring lock mechanism that I have designed.

(230) Sad To Leave.
There is this big open gig where everyone goes outside and plays
their gig. I have been coming out here all week long volunteering. I
have supported many people on one to one, showing them the
ways out here, but today at 04:30 in the morning I head back
home. I feel a little sad to be going back home, but I have
volunteered out here for over a week now and I am really ready to
get back home now. The woman in charge is very loud and proud.
She has a big strong black and yellow personality. She can really
let you know what she thinks, but she is so cool and I am sad to
leave her, even though she can be stearn, but she is kind also and
she really leads this gig so well. She has such enthusiasm and love
for performing and she gets things done. She does it her way, but
we have some fun. She is kind to me, but now I am done as I find
my way home now. I have releaved myself of my duties.

30-8-18

(231) Here And Now.
You have to get to the end to listen to all of this and the end is
quite peaceful. It is pleasurable like a piece of fruit. Soft like a
peach. Or maybe pleasurable like toffee is as chewable as a playful
fight. Like a man and a woman making love in the night.

So I come around here and I am playing this music. It is only stuff
like this that keeps the walls up. It is only interactions like these
that really put things together around here. So here we are
meeting up having some fun. Here we are, here in this room
wondering how we ever got to this point right now, just like this.
We find some space for some instrumental. We make it all up as
we go along before we come back again to the first movement,
here and now in this moment.

31-8-18

(232) Our Reunion. (The Three 'A Me Goes.')
I meet up with some of my old friends like Shane and Tomo in
Lincoln. For some reason we go out for a bike ride. Tomo instructs
me on the best way to push bike into Lincoln. I am a bit dubious
about his advice, although I have not been out in Lincoln for such
a long time and I am reremembering old routes to cycle down, but
some of these routes have been blocked off. I nearly come off my
bike at one point. "That is because I have not been out on my
push bike lately." I conclude to Tomo and Shane. "Although I went
out on it a little yesterday." I suddenly remember correcting
myself. I say this out of shock from having nearly fallen off my
bike.

It is quite strange that in this instant I see a suitcase full of tyre
marks and black rubber skid marks. They are from various tyres
and I kind of put all these visulisations of tyre marks and skid
marks neatly away in this rectangular box of a suitcase. It is like a
puzzle of tyre marks as I place them all in order, neatly into this
rectangular box.

Tomo does not always agree with my evaluations of things and he
explains some alternative reasons to my evaluations. He tells me
that I nearly came off my push bike because the roads are wet. He
might be right. I take on board some of the things that Tomo has
to say. Shane is a little quieter than Tomo, but he still makes his
presence known on this bike ride. Shane always has a way of
making me laugh even when he is not saying anything. He has his
own unique manerisms that I find amusing. It is just good to get
out with some old friends and it has been such a long time since
we have been out together.

(233) Things seem a little wooden.
What is going on?! I am out in the back garden. I am with this
attractive woman who is much younger than me. We are sat on a
wooden bench. We are talking but she seems a little distant, a
little stand offish. So I get up and I walk around this back garden
on the grass lawn and I notice wooden carvings of an animal, it
looks like it maybe a squirel coming out of the shed. These
carvings are increadably detailed if a little wooden. There must be
about seven of these wooden carvings in a row that arcs round
slightly which outlines the trajectory of this single animal at the
seven different points in his journey, from just having woken up
from his hybernation out of the shed to wandering out across the
grass lawn. Then I notice that there are other animal carvings all
around in rows that depict the trajectory of other animals that
have just made their way out of their hybernation space and
wandered off. I am a little excited to share this news with that
young attractive woman who appeared to be distant to me earlier.
So as I speak to her again, as I talk to her about this revelation of
wooden animal carvings, but there appears to be no change in this
woman. She is as distant to me as ever. I suddenly get the urge to
pick this woman up from her seating position and turn her around
so that she is sat facing in a different direction. I feel that I should
not do this, but I do it anyway.

____________________________________________________

August 2018

____________________________________________________

1-8-18

(183) Solving Polynomials By Factorising.
I am going through nth degree polynomials here looking at the
process of factorising. I have been intrigued by the fact that there
are some 5th degree polynomials that are unsolvable. Here I work
up the nth levels of polynomials and the patterns that are
apparent for solving these polynomials. So with this I am using
inductive logic. Ultimately I am considering that maybe there is a
new type of number with unusual properties waiting to be
discovered that will make these difficult unsolvable 5th degree
(quintic) polynomials solvable. This would be analogous to some
quadratic polynomials needing imaginary numbers which needed
to be discovered in order to be solved.

A solvable Quadratic:

x^2-5x+6 = (x-a)(x-b)
**********
a+b=-5
ab=6
**********
-2 + -3 =-5
(-2)(-3)=6

therefore a=2, b=3

(x-2)(x-3) => (x=2)(x=3)

A Solvable Cubic:

(x-1)(x^2+6-2x-3x) => (x-1)(x^2-5x+6) => x^3-5x^2+6x-x^2+5x-6
=> x^3-6x^2+11x-6

*************
a+b+c=-6
ab+bc+ac=11
abc=-6
*************

-1 + -2 + -3 =-6
(-1)(-2)+(-2)(-3)+(-3)(-1)=2+6+3=11
(-1)(-2)(-3)=-6

(x-1)(x-2)(x-3)

(x=1)(x=2)(x=3)

A Solvable Quartic:

Ax^4+Bx^3+Cx^2+Dx+E
******************
a+b+c+d=B
ab+ac+ad+bc+bd+cd=C
abc+abd+acd+bcd=D
abcd=E
******************
(x-a/A)(x-b/A)(x-c/A)(x-d/A)

A Solvable Quintic:
Ax^5+Bx^4+Cx^3+Dx^2+Ex+F
******************
a+b+c+d+e=B
ab+ac+ad+ae+bc+bd+be+cd+ce+de=C
abc+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=D
abcd+abce+abde+bcde=E
abcde=F
******************
(x-a/A)(x-b/A)(x-c/A)(x-d/A)(x-e/A)

An Unsolvable Quintic:

y = x^5-10x+2

Use a little calculus in the xy plane to show the polynomial attains
a maximum at -2¼ and a minimum at 2¼. These are all the real
roots of y'=5x^4-10, and there are no other local maxima or
minima.

5(x^2-10^1/2)(x^2+10^1/2)

The graph crosses the x axis once to the left of -2¼, once between
-2¼ and 2¼, and once to the right of 2¼. Therefore y=x^5-10x+2
has 3 real roots and two complex roots.

Ax^5+Bx^4+Cx^3+Dx^2+Ex+F
1x^5+0x^4+0x^3+0x^2+10x+2
******************
B=a+b+c+d+e=0
C=ab+ac+ad+ae+bc+bd+be+cd+ce+de=0
D=abc+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=0
E=abcd+abce+abde+bcde=10
F=abcde=2
******************
(x-a/1)(x-b/1)(x-c/1)(x-d/1)(x-e/1)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guess answer number 1:
a=-3,b=-i/3,c=-2,d=i/3,e=3

B=0

C=(ab=i)+(ac=6)+(ad=i)+(ae=-9)+(bc=2i/3)
+(bd=1/9)+(be=-1)+(cd=-2/3)+(ce=-6)+(de=1)
=[6-9+1/9-1-2/3-6] + [i+i+2i/3]
=-10.'5' + 2.'6'i

D=(abc=-2i)+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=0

F=2

(184) I Just Do What I Like.
We take it in turns to pick up our push bike, walk in circles and
then throw the push bike to the ground. My push bike is in two
bits now. The carrying rack fell off. There is one lass who came late
to this group session. She said that she fell asleep again. For some
reason I am not in a group. I am just mixing in with various groups
at random whenever I can fit in.

Later I find myself in a hut with four others. One of the organisers
comes in with his clip board. He has information on the other four
people but he does not have any information on me. "Don't worry
about it. It makes sense. I am not really a part of this group." I tell
him, but he still radios through to someone to cover his back, to
make sure that I am okay to be left behind. We are all a bit of a
rabble to be honest, but we are all having fun.

(185) Our Familiarity.
When I am with Lisa there is a little bit of canoodling and
sometimes we may contodjulate. We work this building that I am
familiar with. Maybe a little too familiar at times. I think this as I
slide down the staircase banister and she grabs me by my arm.
She guides me kindly. She reassures me, she lets me know. I know
now that I should not do some of the things that I do, but I like to
try things out. I put my arms around her sometimes and she does
not seem to mind, as we interact. Our familiarity is what I like to
explore and what I like to find out about her. This is what I like to
share with her, because I enjoy the fact that she feels so kind to
me and sometimes when I least expect it, I find that I think about
her. I find that she is often on my mind.

Our Familiarity.

When I am with Lisa
there is a little bit of canoodling
and sometimes we may contodjulate.
We work this building that I am familiar with.
Maybe a little too familiar at times.
I think this as I slide down the staircase banister
and she grabs me by my arm.
She guides me kindly.
She reassures me,
she lets me know.
I know now that I should not do some of the things that I do, but I
like to try things out.
I put my arms around her sometimes
and she does not seem to mind, as we interact.
Our familiarity is what I like to explore
and what I like to find out about her.
This is what I like to share with her,
because I enjoy the fact that she feels so kind to me
and sometimes when I least expect it,
I find that I think about her.
I find that she is often on my mind.

2-8-18

(186) A Curse On The Library Door.
I listen and I watch my grandma interact with some young
musicians. She is a musician too you see and she is on the phone
to one of them even though she is in the same room as him. There
is some friendly banter between them. She throws her tissue at
him which falls short of its target and she is laughing.

I walk home from this gig with my sister and when we almost get
home I see some hands waving at us as if to instruct us to get
down. 'This is very odd.' I think to myself. I notice that my dad is
laid down half hidden in someone's front garden. He waves me
over and instructs me to get down with his hand all at the same
time. My sister Maz by this time is further on up the road. When I
get to my dad he tells me that there is a crazed murdering
madman in the neighbourhood. "Great that is all we need!" I reply
sarcastically to my dad.

So a while later of crawling around, I make my way covertly and
under the cover of night. I make my way into a local library and I
chat with the librarian in there. I am slightly disturbed by the way
that the library door just opens up automatically when anyone
arrives in there, with that crazed mad murdering madman around
this neighbourhood. As I chat with the librarian I realise that she is
very much together. So much more together than me. She is not
phased by a troublesome crazed mad murderer in this district, as
if she is somehow protected with her public empire of books that
surrounds her and as I shit myself everytime that fucking library
door automatically opens. I warm to her as I stir and I let some
feelings inside me occur.

(187) "Maybe Tomorrow." Is My Answer.
I am planning on going out doing some shopping soon. I am with
Lisa. I am toting up all the shopping items that I need. I did not
know that I had run so low on food. Lisa is asking me questions
about my shopping habits and I am having to think hard about
this:

"I know that there is one milk left." Says Lisa informatively. I think
about this and I remember seeing a green semi skimmed milk
carton. I think to myself that I will definitely need to go out
shopping soon, only because Lisa is quizzing me on this, otherwise
I would not have thought about food shopping at all. And so the
big question is ... ?

3-8-18

(188) Aut And Tistic.
I am on holiday with two autistic brothers. One is ten and the
other brother is fourteen years old. They have difficulties
assimilating themselves into any social order. The fourteen year
old is really getting on a lot better now. He has become more
confident around people now. I give these brothers a hug
sometimes. The ten year old is a little more awkward, but they
usually appear to be happy. They are very excited at the moment
and full of energy which is always great to see. Although they have
their difficulties, they are both very likeable characters.

(189) The Dream Relationship.
I show how it goes in a relationship. I set an example you see. I
match a different mood for my girl. One for each day of the week.
I play them to her like a true craftsman you see. I take on the lead
as I am so true. I am a shining example of how a relationship can
go. So I must say that she follows me on with my knowledge and
she is eager to know in her own most beautiful way.

Then I wake up in my bachelor room on my own as a single. My
reality is so different to my dream, but as I spend so much of my
life fast asleep this is not as bad as it would first seem.

The Dream Relationship.

I show how it goes in a relationship.
I set an example you see.
I match a different mood for my girl.
One for each day of the week.
I play them to her
like a true craftsman you see.
I take on the lead
as I am so true.
I am a shining example
of how a relationship can go.
So I must say
that she follows me on
with my knowledge
and she is eager to know
in her own most beautiful way.

Then I wake up in my bachelor room
on my own as a single.
My reality is so different to my dream,
but as I spend so much of my life fast asleep
this is not as bad as it would first seem.

4-8-18

(190) Within A White Light Sight.
As I move around here I am struck by how close I am to this
woman and how white the concrete is here. The concrete roads
and driveways are so clean and white in colour that I marvel at
this, as the scorching hot sun bleaches everything in sight, in this
white light.
\|/
-O-
/|\

There is more to this but my memory has faded.

5-8-18
(191) Slow Waters.
Slowly I guide my boat back to shore. This boat bumps onto the
quayside as the waters gently rise and fall. So I have just got back
to this marina and I moor up. I do not know where I have been as I
reflect into these waters. As I trance out and stare into the light
that flickers upon this surface swell. As I listen to these waters lap
upon the side of my boat, that bobs about slowly afloat.

(192) Trapped In My Room.
I make my way in song. I make my way as I reach out along in my
mind. Is there a knock on my door? Or am I hearing things? It was
like a tap on the wood. I open my room door and I look across the
landing, but there is no one there. So I go back into my room.
Suddenly there is a crash! And a bash and a tumble and a thump
on my wall. I rush to my door, but as I push my door to go out
there is something on the floor. My door will not open. My door is
shut tight. So what has happened to me this night!?

Trapped In My Room.

I make my way in song.
I make my way as I reach out along,
in my mind.
Is there a knock on my door?
Or am I hearing things?
It was like a tap on the wood.
I open my room door
and I look across the landing,
but there is no one there.
So I go back into my room.
Suddenly there is a crash!
And a bash and a tumble
and a thump on my wall.
I rush to my door,
but as I push my door to go out
there is something on the floor.
My door will not open.
My door is shut tight.
So what has happened
to me this night!?

(193) Mr Quench.
I am out on the town and I am stood talking to this lass. There is a
lad sat outside a pub who we have a brief chat with also. He is sat
at a pub bench and after he has had a chat with us I notice that he
gets deeply involved with his writing. He has his head down
scribbling away. I notice that he has a newspaper with him also
and I wonder what he is writing.

There are some big old Victorian houses here that have been
converted into flats. They have stone steps outside their front
doors. As we are chatting, this lass and I, we notice two lads
walking down some of these stone steps. But one of these lads
has coke cans fixed to his clothes. He is covered in coke cans all
over his jacket, all over his jeans, there are these coke cans held
within special pockets just big enough for coke cans to fit into. We
both find ourselves looking at this lad walking down these stone
steps with his friend and he is really struggling. He is really
encumbered with the weight of all these coke cans.

"I think that he has a problem there." I point out to this lass as we
get distracted from our conversation.

"Yes, I think that he has a coke problem." She adds as we both
start laughing and we watch this lad struggle along, as he heaves
himself along down the street.

"That's funny." I conclude, stating the obvious and then we are
lost for words for a while as we are both a little puzzled as to why
anyone would need so many cans of coke.

6-8-18

(194) She's Behind You!
"She's Behind You!"
"Oh No She's Not!"
"Oh Yes She Is!"

I am walking along down the path next to the road with this bloke.
I notice a woman outside her front garden pottering around, when
I am suddenly aware that the bloke who was walking along the
road with me has vanished. I look further and I notice that he is
hastily walking off, before he hides behind some bins. It is then
that I remember that he owes some money to the butcher. I
wonder to myself, 'Maybe she is that butcher.'

It is ages before she goes into her house. I am standing there and
then when I think that she has finished in her garden. I tell the
bloke with hand signals that it is all clear. Only for her to pop back
up in her garden again. So then I have to tell him to get back, but
eventually she goes back into her house. By this time Lisa has seen
this bloke who is called Dave. Lisa and Dave are best friends. So
now all three of us are able to walk past this woman's house and
this is when I realise that somehow I have gotten involved in
Dave's drama.

(195) Thank You.
I am leaving this place and this young lad has made me a going
away present. He says that it took him six days for him to make it.
It is all neatly compacted up into cubes and planks and various
other shapes that are all well wrapped up that builds up into a
bigger box. I dwell on this going away present and I am lost for
words. I would really like to show how grateful I am. I would like to
show my gratitude to this young lad, but I really do not know how
to. I really did not think that anyone would do such a thing for me!

(196) The Privileges Of Royalty.
I am aware of all the things that the royalty has to go through. All
the pomp and ceremony. All their responsibilities. I mean a young
royal has to really want to have this position. I look at the Queen
and she tells me genuinely that her son really wants this position
as a royal. So then, as if she is putting in a good word for her son
to get a new job, the Queen goes on to tell me:

"I think that he really wants to be a royal because he is really
motivated for this position and because he really wants a mobile
computer game."

I am staggered. I am sure that there are easier ways to go about
getting this. Rather than going through the whole trouble of
making sure that you are incarnated into the life of royalty. All that
just in order to get yourself a mobile computer game! Does the
soul and spirit of royalty not have a better goal than this to work
to? Surely they could create a mission in life that is a little more
inspiring than that!

7-8-18

(197) Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'
I bought my Raleigh Nitro push bike back in 1995. It cost me £100
bran new. Sadly my push bike now needs all new bearings. It has a
broken foot peddle from when I fell off it and it also has a
puncture too. I cannot justify doing my push bike up, but I cannot
bring myself to scrapping my push bike either. It has been so good
to me over all these years. So it remains locked up to a rail outside
in the back garden in a sorry state, rusty and unused. So this
brings about my dream that is written up in this verse:

Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'

I go into the build of a child.
Just my push bike and I.
As I ride down
the path to the coast.
As I make my way
each and every day
to the sea.
My push bike and I
we run free.

With songs on my mind
and with hope in my heart.
I find myself down
to the coast by the sea.
My push bike and I
we run free.
Everywhere I go
my Raleigh Nitro and I.
My Raleigh Nitro and I
we run free.
All through the years
my Raleigh Nitro and I.
My push bike and I
we run free.

8-8-18

(198) My Inmates And My Artistry.
Because I know what they all work to, I initially cope very well
here. I get myself in a book. I get myself in a book as someone
who really knows exactly what he is doing in jail. I come up with
exactly the right deal and even the inmates here are impressed
with such the artistry that I have within me. I flick through this
book that I am in and I am surprised : O I am surprised to see my
work in there. All the visualisations in black and white with its
deep contrasting content and how this really shows off the deep
feelings of such a serious nature and I get the emoji of the facial
features of those people who are around me and who I have come
into contact with. I just know what to do with them and I am very
confident with my work, but even so I am still surprised : O I am
surprised at how well my work is being received. This has helped
me to become accepted within this prison population that I find
myself in. Somehow I have carved out a social status for myself
that I otherwise would not have been able to enjoy within this
population.
9-8-18

(199) A Fabric Of Time.
We have our host and we all go up on stage and so the patterns
change. Horizontal stripes merge into vertical stripes. Dots explete
out into squares. Colours ignite and then they disintegrate and
they all fold out in a line. Then without warning. All of a sudden a
freaky person with the confidence of a crazy invades my space.
Without warning he arrives at this place here right now. In dull
light, In the darkness of his pose. His face finds its place in my
sight and it wakes me up out of this night.

(200) Unconscionably.
I am not sure what I am doing. I think a lot about what I should do
here. I get prepared and I think about all that I should do in this
time.

"I have just been shopping." I tell my woman, as I stare at the
bulging bags on the back seat on my car that I have filled up, but I
am still not quite sure if I have done the right thing here.

"Good man." My woman says in reply to me, but I am not sure if I
hear her correctly.

"Sorry?" I say, as I make sure that I listen to her more carefully this
time.

"Man." She says quietly to me this time and she seems to be
preoccupied in her thoughts as she says this. I get that she does
not want to patronise me. I think that she is grateful for what I
have done, but she does not want to treat me like a child.
10-8-18

(201) How Do We Know When We Forget Something?
I get myself out of that cave, but not before I forget everything
that I have just been through. I meant to remember everything
this time. I meant to remember all of my adventure, but now all I
remember is running back through that cave from my adventure. I
remember that still body of water beside the pathway within
those cold grey walls and I remember the pale grey light that lit up
bright within the cave walls. I remember the equipment of a
guitarist on the floor, but the guitarist was not there, by that water
in the cave, as I ran past.

I come up to a narrow passageway and as I do so I wonder how I
am going to get past those people. They have shoes and shoe
boxes piled up high from the cave floor. They are in my way and it
is just then within that pondering, within the negotiating of that
gap that I forget my adventure. It is just then that I realise, as I
search my mind frantically, that all those thoughts that I once had
have escaped me completely. I have clearly forgotten that one
true adventure that I once had, the one that I had meant to
remember!

(202) A Transposition Of Love x.
"Love, love a love, love, love. I love you." I get these loving
messages from an extraterrestrial species. There is a geometry to
these loving messages and it is elliptic in shape. I feel these elliptic
messages as circles that are stretched down by gravity and I feel it
in that particular way:

So I transpose the general formula:
a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

Transposed explicitly to y where a<b we get:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

=> b^2/y^2 = 1 - a^2/x^2

=> y^2/b^2 = 1/(1 - a^2/x^2)

=> y^2 = b^2/(1 - a^2/x^2)

=> y = +&-[b^2/(1 - a^2/x^2)]^1/2

Transposed explicitly to x where a<b we get:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

=> a^2/x^2 = 1 - b^2/y^2

=> x^2/a^2 = 1/(1 - b^2/y^2)

=> x^2 = a^2/(1 - b^2/y^2)

=> x = +&-[a^2/(1 - b^2/y^2)]^1/2

(203) The Cost Of Living.
I am with these two women. I do not know who they are and yet I
know that they are with me. So I drive these two women about
and yet when I go to park up I am on my push bike alone. There is
this woman who is waving over to me with her money in her hand
in this open space that leads onto a country cafe. 'She must be
mistaken talking to me.' I think to myself. I nod at her to
aknowledge her, but she is rude and loud and demanding
attention, so I mostly ignore her and her burdensome ways. It
feels a little awkward as I lock up my push bike to the rusty old
railings. I wonder if I am on camera here. I am using this cafe so I
should be alright to park up here, but this world is of business it is
mean and it does not like to give without taking. It does not like to
give without making some money.

11-8-18

(204) "Don't Bring Me Down."
There is this strange little man messing around. He is only three
foot two. He does not look so real in this dark dark light. I view
him and he is acting such a fool. It seems to me to be obvious that
he is going to let himself down and nothing is going right for him
in this fickle town, but then nothing ever could, as he sets himself
up to fail. He is really no good you see and I will tell you his tale.

Out in the garden he is fixed to a tree with his bits and bobs and a
drill, as far as I can see. He does his little jobs in no time, but then
he is stuck up in a tree. He is a strange little man as far as I can
see. "Don't bring me down." He says, as he is only three foot two,
stuck up in that tree with nothing better to do. He is being guided
in such a dull dull light, as he gets himself around within this dark
dark night. He is such a dull dull man and there is something not
quite right. It is not just about his little height. He acts a little
strange and he is an unusual sight. He is that little man who is just
not quite right.
"Don't Bring Me Down."

There is this strange little man messing around.
He is only three foot two.
He does not look so real
in this dark dark light.
I view him and he is acting such a fool.
It seems to me to be so obvious
that he is going to let himself down
and nothing is going right for him
in this fickle town,
but then nothing ever could,
as he sets himself up to fail.
He is really no good you see
and I will tell you his tale.

Out in the garden
he is fixed to a tree
with his bits and bobs and a drill,
as far as I can see.
He does his little jobs in no time,
but then he is stuck up in a tree.
He is a strange little man
as far as I can see.
"Don't bring me down." He says,
as he is only three foot two,
stuck up in that tree
with nothing better to do.
He is being guided
in such a dull dull light,
as he gets himself around
within this dark dark night.
He is such a dull dull man
and there is something not quite right.
It is not just about his height.
He acts a little strange
and he is an unusual sight.
He is that little man
who is just not quite right.

This poem above is sourced from a dream that was a little creepy.
I wrote this dream up as soon as I woke up from my dream. I was
all bleary eyed and between the sleep state and wakefulness
when I wrote this dream up. This was a dream that gave me chills
down my spine. It has been so very difficult to put words to this
dream as, as in many dreams it was very surreal and so very much
out of this physical world, but after a lot of deliberation and care
the above poem is the best account that I can give.

12-8-18

(205) As I Ratchet Up This Musical Moment In Time.
I am sorting out the pipework here. There are great long rails of
music score to fix, as I get my ratchet out and I loosen the rusty
nuts free from the clasps. I take down some of this rusty pipework
that comes in staves. They are five horizontal, parallel pipes with
notes on them and some of these pipes have become rusty. I take
them down to clean them up only to put them back up again later
once they have been cleaned up.

Mark Reynolds is here. He wants me to follow along with him.
There is some sort of music going on and he does not want us to
miss it. "I am sorting out this pipework." I tell him, but Mark is
persistent. Although I am determined to get this rusty old musical
pipework cleaned up and put back up. I decide to take time out to
go and follow Mark, as this is a rare musical opportunity that Mark
is wanting me to go to with him. "I'll sort this pipework out later
then." I say to Mark having been persuaded, half reluctant to
leave the work that I am doing and half fixed upon this musical
opportunity that I will be sharing with Mark.

The musical opportunity with Mark is not the stave pipework that
I am currently on now, but a much cleaner and simpler musical
experience to ratchet up, because it is more of a single solid bar
which is much thinner and made up from stainless steel. It runs
along horizontally in a thin clean silvery grey colour which is quite
impressive really. This is how I see it anyway. It is within a circle of
my mind at this moment of time, because it is a figment of my
imagination at this moment in time. You see I have a thing about
my timing and the time signatures that I keep and that I use. So
this is something that I am really interested in looking into.

(206) A Walk In The Park.
I wake up and I dream. I go into a dream through some hypertext
that spells out the word 'dream.' There is a man who I have gotten
to know. He is the stereotypical old professor who dashes about
and gets confused. Who loses his glasses and bumbles about
intelligently. He is busy and troubled and he works so very hard.

So one day I am out for a walk in the park, when this professor is
so rude as to push past in front of me. And as he does so he falls
down hard. He bangs his head on the wall of a bouncy castle that
has been inflated in the park. I am in shock and a man in the park
points his finger at me, "He pushed him!" He shouts out accusing
me of causing the professor to fall. The man shouts this out just as
the professors head bounces back up off the bouncy castle wall.
The professor then replies in an instant, "Oh no he didn't." And
with that the professor dashes up the bandstand steps in front of
me. Eager to get on with the work of the day and I carry on with
my walk in the park, untroubled and relaxed and with nothing to
say.

(207) Within A Community.
I have many channelled recordings on Youtube. I am just deciding
to what position I come in with all of these channelled recordings.
I see the length of one of my recordings as one hour thirty three
seconds and I slot myself in here somehow. It is just like I park my
car up inbetween other cars that are parked up at the side of the
road. The way that I slot myself and my car in here is awesome,
which means that I come about fifth or sixth place with all those
other musicians around me. I am happy with this position. To be
honest I am just happy to be a part of this community of
musicians.

13-8-18

(208) A Prime Position.
I keep slotting two audio tape cassettes into a plastic case and
then taking them out again. I keep rearranging them to find the
best way to fit them into this plastic case. There is also a little
booklet that goes in with them. I decide to place them in a 619
position. The digit one being the booklet. The six and nine being
the two cassettes as the cassettes are thicker at one end. I wonder
if 619 is a prime number.
So if no number between 1 and the square root of 619 divides into
619 exactly without a remainder then 619 is a prime number.

Using the iterative nth root formula we get the following
calculations for the square root of 619:

nthRoot(A) => (1/n)[(n-1)x + A/(x^n-1)] = x

This is an iterative formula where the two x values to the left of
the equals sign can start at any value, but a close approximation to
the solution is preferred. The resulting x value to the right of the
equals sign will become a closer approximation to the solution.
Put this x value into the two x variables to the left of the equals
sign and then keep repeating to keep getting closer results:

nthRoot(619) => (1/2)[(2-1)x + 619/x^(2-1)] = x

starting x value can be any value. So I decide to start with x=20.

nthRoot(619)iteration(1) => (1/2)[(2-1)20 + 619/20^(2-1)]
= (1/2)[20+30.95] = 50.95/2 = 25.475

nthRoot(619)iteration(2) => (1/2)[(2-1)25.475 + 619/25.475^(2-
1)]
= (1/2)[25.475 + 619/25.475]
= (1/2)[25.475 + 24.2983316977]
= 24.8866658489 this is a close enough approximation to the
square root of 619 for the purpose of finding out fit 619 is a prime
number.

So if no number greater than one and less than 24 divides into 619
to give an integer answer then 619 is a prime number.
A is the value being investigated (619).
m is the values between 1 and 24.
x is the value to the left of the decimal point.
y is the value to the right of the decimal point.
(If y equals zero in any of the answers below then A is not a prime
number.)
*The asterisk indicates where m is a prime number.

A/m=x.y

619/2*=309.5
619/3*=206.'3'rec
619/4=154.75
619/5*=123.8
619/6=103.1'6'rec
619/7*=88.'428571'rec
619/8=77.375
619/9=68.'7'rec
619/10=61.9
619/11*=56.'27'rec
619/12=51.58'3'rec
619/13*=47.'615384'rec
619/14=44.2142857143 to 10 d.p.
619/15=41.2'6'rec
619/16=38.6875
619/17*=36.4117647059 to 10 d.p.
619/18=34.3'8'rec
619/19*=32.5789473684 to 10 d.p.
619/20=30.95
619/21=29.'476190'rec
619/22=28.1'36'rec
619/23*=26.9130434783 to 10 d.p.
There is no y value above that is equal to zero and so this is proof
that 619 is a prime number.

(209) So What Is In Your Sandwich?
As I go through this space. I feel myself, with my taste, getting on
with things. As I fold my sandwich so to speak and I collect my
human experience for what it is. As I bite into the softness and the
freshness of this bread that is my life right now, where I have
made it into this place of discernment right here somehow. As I
take this bite and enjoy this feast I feel that I still have a lot more
to enjoy now.

14-8-18

(210) Why?
There is a lot of pillocking about. Two people jump on me and
start writing on my head. I get them back immediately in anger. I
get some ink on their heads too. I lose my patience with them.
Violently and angrily I pen and ink their heads, to get my revenge
on them. I press on hard on their scalp with my pen. So now we all
look a right mess. I still have to get my jobs done here with all this
graffiti on my head. My mum is not happy with me. I get told off
by her for my behaviour. I get a good dressing down by her for
what I have done back in anger and for letting those people write
on my head. This writing on peoples heads has gotten well out of
hand now. I feel self conscious as I push bike through the streets
with black ink scribble on my head. It hurts too when people
scribble on your head. It is like a monkey scrub. When people
scrub their knuckles on your scalp and you know how painful that
is! I do not know how this all started. I feel that I have been
attacked for no reason. I am annoyed that people just go around
scribbling around on other peoples heads. Why do they do that?

15-8-18

(211) My Girlfriend And Her Peculiar Performing Pet.
I am in this office unit with my girlfriend. I am in here having a
shower. My girlfriend is here also whilst I am having this shower.
There is not a lot of room in this office unit and the shower is in
the way of my girlfriend. She cannot get past me. I am naked in
this shower and she is stood there unable to get past me into the
next part of this small office unit. "Do you want me to stop my
shower so that you can get past?" I ask her.

"No, you're alright." She replies, but I do stop my shower and I do
let her get past me in this small office unit. Next she gets this little
pet thing in a small cage out. I am fascinated, I have never seen a
pet like that before.

"You have got some muscles you have." I say to this small creature
in its cage. As it gets up off all fours, sits down on its bottom and
then flexies its biceps at me, then it looks up to me in silent
expectation. "Well! I have never seen a creature like you before." I
say to it in wonderment as I look down at this strange creature in
its small cage whilst I am naked and dripping wet in this shower of
mine. My girlfriend is in the next room of this small flimsy office
unit now. She is sorting things out apparently.
(212) Too Much For Me Now.
I go into my channelings and I pick up some new energies that I
have never picked up before. All the chatter goes into such a high
vibration until I just cannot understand what I hear anymore. I do
not make out on a human level the messages that I receive
anymore. So these new messages that I get now I decide to leave,
because they are too much for me now, for sure.

16-8-18

(213) I Wish That I Was In A Band.
Andy and I are out in a pub listening to this band. We are sat next
to each other at a table fooling around pretending to play the
keyboard on this table top. I mimic the sounds of the band that is
playing tonight. I pretend to play their music, as I splay my hands
out to reach those difficult notes on this formica top. Then
suddenly I exclaim, "Where's the keys!" I put my head down until
my face is right up to the formica. So that my nose is nearly
touching it and I take a good close look at my pretend keyboard in
this goofy kind of way. Andy is sat next to me and he pretends to
play his keyboard also. I reach across over to his side of the table
and I pretend to press a button on his pretend keyboard. I keep
looking over to his side of the table to see how he pretends to play
his keyboard and he is really good at it. He is really putting some
thought into his actions. He is concentrating so hard that he does
not let anything distract him from his imaginary keyboard. Maybe
this is because like me, he is a musician too.

17-8-18
(214) Sober Thoughts.
I meet this new woman in a new place. Not too far away. In
another physical time space. In another space-time dimension.
Because this is a new way of playing and this is a new way of
thinking. Cheers to all those people drinking and sinking so deep.
Deep down into those densities. So here I am thinking that I am
the only one, who does not do drugs. Those drugs that actively
hug you into an addictive relationship. Those drugs that hug you
into submission, on a trip. On a pub mission's pissed up
permission slip.

Sober Thoughts.

I meet this new woman
in a new place.
Not too far away.
In another physical time space.
In another space-time dimension.
Because this is a new way of playing
and this is a new way of thinking.

Cheers to all those people drinking
and sinking so deep.
Deep down
into those densities.
So here I am thinking
that I am the only one,
who does not do drugs.

Those drugs that actively hug you
into an addictive relationship.
Those drugs that hug you
into submission,
on a trip.
On a pub mission's
pissed up permission slip.

(215) This Day.
I find myself with the luxury and the pleasure to choose. To
choose where I take my life. I choose how I move on with my life.
How I move along this leafy green hill that I climb up and the
traffic that I find along the way. As I look through those branches
to that sunshine mind that glints within the sway of the breeze.
The sunshine mind that glints within the subtlety of the light that
shines down on this day.

(216) In The Extreme.
Okay then let us draw a line in the sand. Let us decide now where
the line is between myself and true reality. The difference
between what I think is happening and what is actually
happening:

I dream of a tornado with its funnel of cloud spinning up to the
sky. I am told in my dream, "That's not a tornado. This is a
tornado!" And suddenly the funnel of cloud gets so much thicker
and darker and spins so much faster, out of control, up into the
sky. So now the dream becomes so much more real and I feel so
much more emotionally charged in the extreme than I ever did
before.

I become emotionally attached to the mathematics of a swirl on
the xy plane that leads up to the sky along the z axis. I see
cylindrical coordinates and I see a cone:

Cylinder z: z = (x^2)/(a^2) + (y^2)/(b^2)

Cone z: (a^2)z = x^2 + (y^2)/(b^2)

I see a cone with an elliptical cross section and a vertex at the
origin. So then the formula becomes:

ax^2 + by^2 + cz^2 + 2fyz + 2gxz +2hxy = 0

if and only if,

[a h g ]
[h b f ] = A
[g f c ]

where the determinant of this matrix equals zero, |A| = 0

Working out the determinant of this 3 x 3 matrix we get:

|A| = a(bc - f^2) - h(hc - fg) + g(hf - bg) = 0

----------------------------------------------------------
reference only:

[a b c ]
[d e f ] = M
[g h i ]

|M| = a(ei - fh) - b(di - fg) + c(dh - eg)
-----------------------------------------------------------

19-8-18

(217) We Put The Pieces Together.
I am living in the same block as this Liverpudlian woman. I listen
intently to her accent as she speaks. We seem to get on well.
Maybe she likes me. It is unusual that I live in the same block as
her. This would have been unheard of before, but things move on.
Things change and I am privileged to be living here now. Yes, I
have the privilege to live here and that is all that there is to it. You
see things move on in opposites and this is the attraction. This is
not a puzzle, but the analogy is there.

We Put The Pieces Together.

I am living in the same block
as this Liverpudlian woman.
I listen intently to her accent
as she speaks.

We seem to get on well.
Maybe she likes me.
It is unusual that I live
in the same block as her.
This would have been unheard of before,
but things move on.
Things change
and I am privileged to be living here now.

Yes, I have the privilege to live here
and that is all that there is to it.
You see things move on in opposites
and this is the attraction.
This is not a puzzle,
but the analogy is there.

(218) Because I Am Free.
I am just talking about my playing style here and nothing else, as a
musician in Torbay. I plug and play. What else can I say? I go
around by the houses and I meet myself down by the cut. Down
the busy streets where most of the traffic goes. I do not know
what other people think of me. I do not know what other people
think of my style of playing. With my acoustic guitar and the style
of songs that I choose to sing. I guess that I am privileged to be
doing these rounds at all. I am excited to be on the circuit here. To
be a musician in Torbay is a very fine thing indeed. Let loose the
artist in me and my creativity is freed. Let loose the animal in me
and take him off his lead. Let loose this dog to roam into the starry
night. Free to do his repertoire into the morning light.

20-8-18

(219) There Is No Handle.
There is this man in a pub. He is not getting drunk but he is having
a drink. He has a dance but he does not dance too much. What is
the chance that we all meet this man in the same pub? I say a pub
but in reality it is more like a cricket pavilion. There are no words
to describe this scene and if there were then we would not know
exactly what these words all mean. Somewhere in the ether like
smoke in the sky, like wispy clouds passing by. I cannot put a shape
to it. I cannot describe my emotions towards these people in this
pub but there is some trickery going on. There is falsity in the
news. There is underhanded reporting supporting certain peoples
views. I cannot put a handle on it. I am at a loss to explain, but
deep inside my heart the essence of this situation is as clear as it
is inane. We are lied to by the press. The truth is not for us to see.
This scene is so contrite, but this is how it is all meant to be.
Playing certain mind games to baffle you and I. This news is so
false and so we should just let it pass us by. Too foolish to dwell
on. As flimsy as can be. Turn away your attention now. There are
better things for us to see.

21-8-18

(220) I Seek.
My dreams are hiding from me. They watch me from a far, deep
inside my dosey mind. All manner of surrealism swirls around
within this distant place that I struggle to find. My dream friends
they play with me. They tease me with their hide and seek. In
silent demure they watch me, but they never speak. They keep
their eyes on me from this distant space. Deep inside my slumber I
get a glimpse of them from time to time, but they play around
with me. They seem to be so shy. Deep inside my memory,
vaguely in my minds eye.

Show yourself and speak with me and tell me what you know! I do
my inner work but you never seem to show. You always run away
from me. Show yourself, speak to me my dream friends. I love you
from my heart, because you are a part of me, but you are so aloof.
Tell me that you love me. I need to see that proof.

In my waking hours I know that you are still around. Silently I hear
you in a sense that's so profound. You tease me with your gifts of
hope and then you run away. My dream friends I want to see you
in the light of day. Tell me that you love me. This I need to hear
you say. Don't hide from me! Why do you run away?

I Seek.

My dreams are hiding from me.
They watch me from a far,
deep inside my dosey mind.
All manner of surrealism swirls around
within this distant place
that I struggle to find.
My dream friends they play with me.
They tease me with their hide and seek.
In silent demure they watch me,
but they never speak.
They keep their eyes on me
from this distant space.
Deep inside my slumber
I get a glimpse of them from time to time,
but they play around with me.
They seem to be so shy.
Deep inside my memory,
vaguely in my minds eye.

Show yourself and speak with me
and tell me what you know!
I do my inner work
but you never seem to show.
You always run away from me.
Show yourself,
speak to me my dream friends.
I love you from my heart,
because you are a part of me,
but you are so aloof.
Tell me that you love me.
I need to see that proof.

In my waking hours
I know that you are still around.
Silently I hear you
in a sense that's so profound.
You tease me with your gifts of hope
and then you run away.
My dream friends I want to see you
in the light of day.
Tell me that you love me.
This I need to hear you say.
Don't hide from me!
Why do you run away?

(221) This Is My Direction.
There is myself and this woman. We take people out. We take it in
turns to drive the tram, but we are not always sure which way the
tram goes. Sometimes it becomes more like a trolley bus.
Sometimes it knocks things over. Where are the tracks? I think to
myself and then I find that I have gone wrong way. As I knock
chairs and tables over, I feel so guilty. What will people say?

I take my dad out in his wheelchair. Myself and this lady, I push
him along. I do a nifty little manoeuvre, but I splash him from a
puddle. I make my excuses and I explain myself away, "I was
avoiding that bump when I went into a dip. So I had to turn to the
right to avoid that puddle" I say to my dad in haste. Then I am
suddenly interrupted ...

22-8-18

(222) I Am Different.
All the musicians they all sound the same. They sing la la songs in
their own cheeky way, but I am different and I am here to prove to
you all just what they are like by way of contrast. You see I am me
and they are them. I feel their songs essence in a way that is hard
to describe, but they give off this sense a certain vibe. That is hard
to convey just how they all circumscribe. Our own musical way is
as an acoustic song. I play one of my own and it all goes wrong,
but the other songs are fine songs and I sing them out strong.
Their songs are long songs and my songs are fast. They are short
songs of hope, but I come on last. Just to prove that I am different.
By way of contrast.

23-8-18

(223) Wound Around.
I get confused. I am recording our music on tape. I have this
microphone that I use, but I wander off with it. The cable lead to
this microphone is also joined to the tape recorder, it trails along
behind me, infinitely long wherever I go. Except that this lead is a
thick and black hollow rubber tube. I wander off so far in space
and time. I only realise what I have done when I have wandered
off so far away onto the other side of town. I have to retrace my
steps to get this rubber hollow tube back. It gets wound up in
people. I have to feed it out of every taffle. I have to tug of war it
with people in the general public to get back this hollow rubber
cable on my mic to get back to the tape recorder on the other side
of town. I hope that this makes a good recording and I hope that I
can finally sort this whole thing out.

24-8-18

(224) These Inconsistencies. (They wake me up into a lucid
dream.)
I am sleeping in this room. I am on a floor, someone else has the
bed. This is a meagre existence. I am fidgeting. I am moving
around. I am rearranging myself to find a comfy spot on this floor
as I sleep. But for some reason I suddenly find that I have woken
up and I wander off. I get these flashes of a place that I have never
been to before. I take a good look where I see these scriptures
that are in a language I do not understand. Where the geometry it
kaleidoscopes and then I know that I have travelled to somewhere
else.

It is on my return to my room when I notice that my room has
changed. It is larger, the bed is not there. "Hey! What is going on?"
I shout out loudly. I raise the alarm. I raise my concerns. This man
who must be a guard tells me to shut up and raises his hand with
a dagger in it, but I am not afraid. I know that this place is not real
now. I know that this guard cannot kill me. I grab hold of him with
my bare hands and I shake him. His dagger can do nothing to me. I
am aware now. I am just so aware and I so, do not care now.
You see I have been listening to four binaural beats
simultaneously. I find them on Youtube videos. These beats have a
left and right ear difference of 0.25, 0.5, 0.9 and the Schumann
resonance of 7.83 Hertz. Multiply these four frequencies together
and we get a resulting left and right ear binaural difference of
0.880875 Hertz. For over an hour today I listened to this binaural
frequency vibrate inside my head before I get to go to sleep. This
is the brainwave entrainment that I have been exploring that has
resulted in my lucid dreaming. This is the binaural frequency that
has got deep into my consciousness.

(225) The Property Game.
"Let's say that you are in property. So let's do the property game!"

I get a crumbly old building. Its walls just reminds me of a square
flan base.

"So what would I do? I would be tempted to cover it in butter. I
would smooth out the butter on those flan base walls like render. I
would get all that greasy yellow dairy fat into the gaps of those
crumbly walls. I have my doubts now. Maybe this building is not
worth saving."

I say this having used up the biggest pat of butter for render that
has ever been made.

"Maybe this building is just about to fall down and it is only the
land that it stands on that is worth anything. I really do not know. I
would like to find a property that looks like a scone. I would like to
fill it up with butter, strawberry jam and double cream and then I
would like to eat it all up at eleven O'Clock in the morning. I would
wash it down with the largest cup of tea that the world has ever
seen!"

26-8-18

(226) A People In Another Place.
This is not the first time that I find myself in this elliptic curve
place. A place of slow movement where everything is difficult to
do. My awareness of this place is deep. So I express myself in the
way that I know best and I repeatedly shout out:

"You people, you squarely freak me out! You people, you squarely
freak me out!"

But they will not reveal themselves to me, or maybe I will not
reveal myself to myself. I have this two dimensional visual image
of a white blob in a sky blue background that I shake with my
hand.

But it is such a deep place of slow movement. A space that I
wilfully find my traction in and where I push myself through
forward. It is a place of deep self awareness unlike anywhere else
that I have ever been to before and it takes a long time to get
through it, but finally I eventually find myself back here home
from my 'out there' journey that I have just slowly swum back
through.
(227) Dark Secrets In Dark Institutions.
"It was like we was in a situation comedy. It started off quite fun.
We was having a laugh with it. Every time something went wrong
we would have some fun with it, but now it has all gone horribly
wrong."

I say this to another member of staff, but then there is like an air
of ice cold silence after I have spoken. This silence is only broken
by another staff member whispering to me, "Don't say any more."
I suddenly feel bad and I feel that I have spoken out of turn. That I
have broken a code of conduct somehow. So now I silently think
about what I have just said and I am made to feel guilty.

Something has gone wrong in this establishment. People are
complaining. Family members of the service users here are
questioning the staff in this institution. They quiz us about our
conduct. I do not know what I should do now. I am told to play the
Pleiadian CD by another staff member. You see things have been
confiscated and I do not always know where these things are now.
The public are openly confronting us. The public are angry and we
the staff are getting their abuse.

You see one of our service users who was our responsibility stole a
red double decker bus full of other service users. He drove it
around wrecklessly and at speed, knocking things over. I watch the
internal camera footage from this bus. I see all of the other service
users falling around inside as the bus is violently shaken about
whilst it is being driven so badly. This must have been so terrifying
for those people on board, I think to myself and then the gravity
of this whole situation sinks deeply into my mind.
28-8-18

(228) On Top Off The World.
There are these people in the forces who do exactly what they
want to. They are on international boarders and they are a law
unto themselves. Multilinguistic, they radio into various places
portraying different people in different situations and in different
countries. When you have superiority like these guys then you can
do pretty much what you want. They meet up high up on a
mountain plateau on international boarders, but I know that some
of them have their secrets. Some of them are falsely
impersonating people who they are not. With their linguistic skills
they are able to change nationalities to cover up their tracks along
these remote boarders. They switch sides at will and work within
various different organisations and so they pretty much have their
own sovereignty. I am just a witness here. I listen to these people
discussing various things that they are doing and I know that they
have their secrets. They are smart people and they are getting
away with it all the time because they can do. There is no one who
can tell you what you can and cannot do when you are at this
level. So they are left to their own devices. Free to do whatever
they choose to do. There is one lad who says that he is changing
to navy colours. This is symbolised by a white aircraft that he
switches to.

"There is a harbour near here so if I am in the navy then these
people who we are in constant contact with now have no control
over me."

He points this out to us in a matter of fact sort of way and I smile
with my deeper knowledge about him, because I know that with
his linguistic abilities he also changes his nationalities as well
which these people do not know about. He can avoid any direct
orders from anyone. There is no one anywhere who can tell him
what to do.

(229) A Locksmith's Nightmare.
I have been making this tool box with a spring loaded lock in it.
The teacher is here to take a look at it as he picks up this lock
device. "Have you done any more to this?" The teacher asks me as
he has this thing in his hand. It is a rusty piece of work with a
massive double spring on it. It has been slow progress getting this
tool box together and this spring loaded mechanism is proving to
be difficult.

"I have done a bit more work on it." I say to the teacher being a
little disappointed at my own slow progress. The teacher is being a
little careful with this spring loaded device that he is trying to
open. "Just rip it open. If you break it I can soon mend it." I say to
the teacher to encourage him to get into this device.

"I'm not going to break it!" The teacher replies sternly in a gesture
that shows both a bit of responsibility and a bit of respect for my
work. Me myself, I am just a little weary at what I have done here
and I have lost some of my interest in this project as it has become
much more difficult to complete. Especially this double loaded
spring lock mechanism that I have designed.

(230) Sad To Leave.
There is this big open gig where everyone goes outside and plays
their gig. I have been coming out here all week long volunteering. I
have supported many people on one to one, showing them the
ways out here, but today at 04:30 in the morning I head back
home. I feel a little sad to be going back home, but I have
volunteered out here for over a week now and I am really ready to
get back home now. The woman in charge is very loud and proud.
She has a big strong black and yellow personality. She can really
let you know what she thinks, but she is so cool and I am sad to
leave her, even though she can be stern, but she is kind also and
she really leads this gig so well. She has such enthusiasm and love
for performing and she gets things done. She does it her way, but
we have some fun. She is kind to me, but now I am done as I find
my way home now. I have relieved myself of my duties.

30-8-18

(231) Here And Now.
You have to get to the end to listen to all of this and the end is
quite peaceful. It is pleasurable like a piece of fruit. Soft like a
peach. Or maybe pleasurable like toffee is as chewable as a playful
fight. Like a man and a woman making love in the night.

So I come around here and I am playing this music. It is only stuff
like this that keeps the walls up. It is only interactions like these
that really put things together around here. So here we are
meeting up having some fun. Here we are, here in this room
wondering how we ever got to this point right now, just like this.
We find some space for some instrumental. We make it all up as
we go along before we come back again to the first movement,
here and now in this moment.

31-8-18
(232) Our Reunion. (The Three 'A Me Goes.')
I meet up with some of my old friends like Shane and Tomo in
Lincoln. For some reason we go out for a bike ride. Tomo instructs
me on the best way to push bike into Lincoln. I am a bit dubious
about his advice, although I have not been out in Lincoln for such
a long time and I am reremembering old routes to cycle down, but
some of these routes have been blocked off. I nearly come off my
bike at one point. "That is because I have not been out on my
push bike lately." I conclude to Tomo and Shane. "Although I went
out on it a little yesterday." I suddenly remember correcting
myself. I say this out of shock from having nearly fallen off my
bike.

It is quite strange that in this instant I see a suitcase full of tyre
marks and black rubber skid marks. They are from various tyres
and I kind of put all these visualisations of tyre marks and skid
marks neatly away in this rectangular box of a suitcase. It is like a
puzzle of tyre marks as I place them all in order, neatly into this
rectangular box.

Tomo does not always agree with my evaluations of things and he
explains some alternative reasons to my evaluations. He tells me
that I nearly came off my push bike because the roads are wet. He
might be right. I take on board some of the things that Tomo has
to say. Shane is a little quieter than Tomo, but he still makes his
presence known on this bike ride. Shane always has a way of
making me laugh even when he is not saying anything. He has his
own unique mannerisms that I find amusing. It is just good to get
out with some old friends and it has been such a long time since
we have been out together.
(233) Things seem a little wooden.
What is going on?! I am out in the back garden. I am with this
attractive woman who is much younger than me. We are sat on a
wooden bench. We are talking but she seems a little distant, a
little stand offish. So I get up and I walk around this back garden
on the grass lawn and I notice wooden carvings of an animal, it
looks like it maybe a squirrel coming out of the shed. These
carvings are incredible detailed if a little wooden. There must be
about seven of these wooden carvings in a row that arcs round
slightly which outlines the trajectory of this single animal at the
seven different points in his journey, from just having woken up
from his hibernation out of the shed to wandering out across the
grass lawn. Then I notice that there are other animal carvings all
around in rows that depict the trajectory of other animals that
have just made their way out of their hibernation space and
wandered off. I am a little excited to share this news with that
young attractive woman who appeared to be distant to me earlier.
So as I speak to her again, as I talk to her about this revelation of
wooden animal carvings, but there appears to be no change in this
woman. She is as distant to me as ever. I suddenly get the urge to
pick this woman up from her seating position and turn her around
so that she is sat facing in a different direction. I feel that I should
not do this, but I do it anyway.

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September 2018

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