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The Fun Issue

Play. Connect. Grow.


with Nadia Stieglitz

SPEND TIME TOGETHER (14) • CO-CREATE (46) • BE VULNERABLE (86)


Shop Small Mala Necklaces are the new Friendship Bracelets. Ours
are custom made by Leoacadia K. Buy matching jewels
for you and your friends at bit.ly/TPYmarketplace.
IN THE TPY MARKETPLACE
We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing,
and celebrating who you've always been – who
you already are – who you want to be.

Be YOU...the Perpetual You.


THE

L ET T ER from our ED I T O R

THE OFFICE

The Perpetual You

W
101 Putnam Ave.
hat is it about connection
Hamden, CT 06517
that makes us so afraid? The
happiest women I know—
T HE C O R R E C T I O N S myself included—are those that surround
Photos on pp. 14-16 of our themselves with likeminded women often.
January issue were mistakenly And yet, when the going gets tough, or—
attributed; the photographer
hell—even when we’ve just had a crappy
is Jazelle's Artistry.
start to the day—we withdraw, hide, cover
up, dust off, smooth over, ignore, forget,
T H E C O M MU N I T Y put on a happy face & high heels & hold our
heads high.
Look for us on social media
@theperpetualyou.
I have a secret to share with you. Your true
sisters—that tribe of women who loves you
THE STOCKISTS for YOU—they care about all of you: the good, the ugly, and even the unspeakable. You
You can pick up a print can stop hiding the spilled milk (or failed intentions) from them. Your sisterhood loves
copy of our magazine at the you no matter what.
following shops:
I am the queen at telling myself that I can handle all the challenges on my own
SaltyGirl Boutique
Kennbunk, Maine
(#controlfreak). Honestly, my intuition and instincts go a long way to resolving
SaltyGirlBoutique.com unpleasant situations I find myself in—which is nice but doesn’t help my tendency to
isolate. And I’m betting you’re pretty good at handling things too.
Lovet Shop
Milford, CT
So maybe that’s why connection—genuine, authentic intimacy—feels so scary. Because
ShopLovet.com
we are so good at taking care of ourselves. Because we were taught to be self-
Dwell sufficient. Because we had to be strong, in order to survive.
New Haven, CT
DwellNewHaven.com
A new dawn has arisen, though. We are in a time when women are remembering
Finders Market and honoring the crucial, primal instinct to gather. We are rewriting that story
Sumner WA of independence to be a tale of solidarity. We are reaching out, drawing in, and
thefindersmarket.com
meeting up.

Women are connecting with other women-every day and in all sorts of ways because
we know we no longer need to go it alone. Lean in to your fear, and receive the gifts of
meaningful friendship. (Oh—and call your mom, too!)
THE S U B S C R I P T I O N

Sign up for our


PRINT magazine at
bit.ly/TPYandyou.
lee lee
Creative Director & Managing Editor
@wordsbyleelee

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
P H O T O by @ B E L A T H E E
When we drop fear, we can draw
nearer to people, we can draw
nearer to the earth, we can
draw nearer to all the heavenly
creatures that surround us.

– BELL HOOKS

The FU N ISSU E | 3
FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU

P H O T O by @ R A C H E L H P H O T O S

IN THIS ISSUE

Create Fun by
Unleashing Connection
M O N T H LY M US I C

Celebrate Sisterhood with this month's 'Sisters Unite'


playlist on Spotify at bit.ly/TPYmusic
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
61
Unleash
Unleash your personal & powerful state
of play, with Nadia Stieglitz – artist,
mother, and professional player.

P H O T O G R A P H E D by B E L AT H É E P H O T O G R A P H Y
The FU N ISSU E | 5
Realize
Uncover the sorts of connections that make life

14 more fun, from taking a trip with strangers


(soon to be best friends) to a day spent swapping
makeup, clothing, and stories. Focus on the
old-fashioned practice of intimacy, whether
working, drinking, or walking with a friend.

Lifestyle

Nurture Your Connections.............................. 14


Meet Up!......................................................... 24
Swap Makeup Secrets.................................... 30

TPY Faves

24 Media Reviews................................................ 17
Food: CHOCOLATE........................................ 18
Cocktail: Old-Fashioned................................. 20
Movement: Stand Up!..................................... 22
Clothing Swap................................................ 33
February Self-Care Tookit.............................. 36

Plus
Swing from the Trees
with photographer
26
@rachelhphotos.

30
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Dwell
Un-inhibit your creativity on the space
surrounding you; invite friends over to bask
in what you’ve created; make memories,
tell stories, enjoy each other’s company.

Design

Display your Play.............................................. 40


Gather with Friends........................................... 42
Create Something Special................................ 46 46

86 Live
Unravel your stories about authenticity
and vulnerability so that you can connect
more often and in a more genuine way.

Mindset

Feel Deeply................................................... 76
Cultivate Sisterhood...................................... 80
Let Yourself Be Loved.................................... 86

The FU N ISSU E | 7
FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU

T H E MA K ERS

Our makers consistently share their time & talents. We'd love to introduce
you to the lovely ladies who contributed to this month's issue.

Anabel Markie
Cover Photography Dwell Feature Photographer
@belathee @markiejonesphotographyllc
belathee.com markielynne.com

Annabel Braithwaite is part of a two person photo Markie is a PNW Wedding photographer, mother to two
team called Belathée Photography that specializes in adorable little fireball girls and two rather overactive
celebrations, lifestyle, and interior photography. Based dogs, and lover of adventures around the Bonney Lake
out of NYC and Seattle, Belathée has photographed area. She enjoys photographing intimate engagement
weddings in 18 countries since starting in 2003. This sessions and weddings throughout Greater Seattle. This
is Annabel's first cover story for The Perpetual You. is Markie's fourth Dwell shoot for The Perpetual You.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Jessie P.K. Cindy
Art Director Proofreader Intern
@littlelegendsdesign Connect on Facebook Connect on Facebook
littlelegends.com

Krystal Cat Rachel


Mantra Siren Content Editor Travel Photographer
@krystalbrandt @catballou24 @rachelehphotos
krystalbrandt.com amlofarms.com rachelehphotography.com

Joanna Amanda Luisa Lauren


Collaborating Photographer Collaborating Photographer Collaborating Photographer
@joanna_fisher @amandaluisaart @laurenstevens24
joannafisher.com MandaLuisa.com laurenalexandriaphoto.com

The FU N ISSU E | 9
Deborah Jamie Dana
Collaborating Artist Collaborating Artist Contributing Artist
@velasquezstudio @jamiegalley
deborahvelasquez.com justmakethings.com danaayotte.com

Calling all Creative Ladies!


TPY collaborates with artists, photographers, writers, and more. Visit bit.ly/TPYcollab for current opportunities!

Let me help
your brand Words by Lee Lee

Branding & Graphic Design for Passionate Business Owners. Values-Based Copywriting for Cause-Based Businesses.

Let's start a conversation! j@createlittlelegends.com wordsbylee@gmail.com

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
to align your daily practices
with your
ever-evolving desires
A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y
A R T by D A N A A Y O T T E , D A N A A Y O T T E . C O M
THE LA DY

Dat So La Lee
Louise Keyser, aka Dat So La Lee, was a celebrated Native American basket weaver.
A member of the Washoe people in northwestern Nevada, her basketry showcased
the handiwork of her Washoe people, and its prominence during the Arts and
Crafts movement caused newfound respect in her role as a community leader.

W O R D S by P. K . M C G I L L The FUN ISSU E | 13


I’d rather have take-out in
my messy house with friends
than plan the perfect dinner
party that will never happen.

– GRETCHEN RUBIN

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE

UNLEASH

Friendship
with Marie Levey-Pabst

Nurturing connections with our friends and friends-to-be


requires time and energy—but that time and energy will pay off
big time when we are nurtured and rejuvenated in return.

T
he older I get, the more I value friendships and friend texted me something funny one of her kids said. Our
connections, both with friends I’ve had forever and with following small text exchange cheered me up and reminded me
new friends I’ve made along the way. Ironically, the older that I can stay connected even when life is too busy for planning
I get, the more challenging it is to keep up with those friendships. a girls’ night out.

I’ve identified several different ways to make time for connection


that allows me to enjoy the time instead of feeling overwhelmed MAKE LONGER CONNECTIONS.
by yet another commitment. You may find that one way works
Other times, we need more than a quick text. Still, if you are
better for you in this season of your life, and a different one
always waiting for the perfect opportunity to go out to dinner,
resonates when you are in a different place. Or you may find
or figuring out which museum to take your kids to, you are going
room in your life for all the different sorts of connection.
to spend as much time planning as you do actually connecting.
Keeping connection-time fun, simple, and low-key will make it
MAKE SMALL CONNECTIONS. something you look forward to instead of just another task on
your to-do list.
By small, I mean in both time and energy. We all know how much
it matters to us that we are noticed, that we are seen. Not every I have a standing phone date with a friend who is living abroad.
connection needs to be about deep issues in our lives and work. A Every week she makes the trek to a hotel with wi-fi and we video
connection can just be a quick check-in to show the other person chat for 30 minutes or so. When a friend had a new baby, our
you are thinking about them, and for them to show they are schedules no longer aligned easily for hanging out. Now we set
thinking about you. coffee/walk days weeks in advance, with the understanding that
we might hang out with a fussy baby, or just hang out at home if
I always feel better after a quick exchange of “hellos” and a it’s too cold to walk.
joke with colleagues while we wait to heat up our lunch in the
microwave, or after sending an email linked to an online photo
gallery from the month. Recently I was feeling alone when a
continued on next page

The FUN ISSU E | 15


MAKE CONNECTIONS ROUTINE. Reflect, then Act
Routines take the decision-making stress out of our lives,
and this is so important when it comes to connecting with The following are prompts to help you reflect on
friends. If we plan to get together with someone “someday” connection and then act on the potentials that
it doesn’t take long before “someday” turns into “not at all.” interest you most.
Routines make it easier to nurture a relationship without
doing the constant work of planning. • Get intentional about connection this month. Which
connections will nurture you this month? What is
Our family has a standard “family dinner date” with the simplest way to connect with those folks?
another family. We meet up once a month, trading off who
hosts. Whoever doesn’t host brings beer. The fact that it’s • Think about 1-2 people in your life you would like
a part of our routine means we actually get together, even to have more connection with. Reach out in a small
way - send a text or propose a coffee date!
if the dinner we prepare is pizza, a basic lentil soup, or
even waffles!

May you find ways to nurture your friendships, and to let


With a busy life it is easy to get caught up in making them nurture you in return!
“someday” plans with friends that never manifest, much
like the perfect dinner party that will never happen. The
Marie Levey-Pabst is the founder of the Create Balance method. She
truth is that we must nurture our friendships and make
teaches parents to create balance between family, work, and personal
time for meaningful connection, even (or especially) when fulfillment. Connect with Marie at @CreateBalanceCommunity on
life gets busy. Facebook or at CreateABalancedLife.com.

Photos by Michelle Roycroft


T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
R E V I E W S & P H O T O by @ C A T B A L L O U 2 4
C ONVERS AT I O N S O N CO N N ECT I N G

Present Over Perfect The Gifts of Imperfection My Better Self


by Shauna Niequist, 2016 by Brené Brown, Pub. 2010 by Dar Williams, Pub. 2005

Shauna Niequist stitches together a series of In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown—a Dar Williams’ 2005 musical journey on self-
essays concerning her personal experiences master on living wholeheartedly and discovery and connection is as relevant both
overcoming a life filled with busyness, stress, authentically—presents us with a guidebook politically and personally today as it was 13
and feelings of inadequacy. After years of on how to do just this, with courage, years ago. “My Better Self” suggests rites of
mis-connecting in this frantic world, Niequist compassion, and connection. Ironically, passage, at a time in our lives when all sorts of
realizes that she’s missing out on the beauty connection starts with self-acceptance, and, "better selves" seem open to possibility. The
of everyday life with her family. This book according to Brown, is most authentic when we album is a tuneful reminder that “Every time
describes her journey of learning to reconnect no longer worry about what others think. If you you open to kindness, make one connection
with the people in her life, without losing her want to discover the benefits of vulnerability used to divide us, it echoes all over the world,”
sense of self and life of success. and imperfection in relationships, this book is as Williams sings on the track Echo.
a wonderful guide.

The FUN ISSU E | 17


T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE

UNLEASH

Quality Time
with Julia Grimaldi

Are you in hibernation mode? Harness the power of chocolate


and get some girlfriends over right away!

D
uring this short month, we may need a gentle nudge The best party is the one where you can you eat with a little
to invite friends over. Go ahead and pick up the abandonment knowing no one’s going to judge you.
phone—hear someone’s voice, ask for something you
need. Carve out some time for a true heart-to-heart with When we welcome and share who we are and what we

your girlfriends. value with those around us, our connections become
stronger. Allow yourself a love affair this month full of the
Keep the roasted roots off the menu and Indulge in some sweet, smooth richness of chocolate, with a side of real-life
chocolate. This decadent sweet tastes good, smells good, & connection. Quality time is a pleasure we could all use a little
feels good. The sensation of eating chocolate satisfies more more of.
than just our sweet tooth, and as I understand it, chocolate is
a health food – hallelujah!
Julia is a holistic health & food coach. Learn more about her at
Enjoy a rich chocolate dessert with your besties, those that CoachJuliaG.com.

truly know you, and benefit from connecting in real time too.

The FUN ISSU E | 19


REALIZE

Friendship,
On the Rocks
with Crystal Cathcart

Connecting is an art, not an act.

In this increasingly complex and wired age, connecting


authentically—and in person—can elevate our self-worth
and increase our joy. Only when we grant ourselves the
freedom to disconnect (from technology) can we be
actively engaged with those around us.

Next time you are looking to connect, grab a friend and


your favorite rocks glass; muddle some sugar into a few
dashes of bitters and top it off with that classic boozy
bourbon. Add some ice, cherries and a twist of orange
and then just slip into a chair with those timeless, classic
Old-Fashioned cocktails.

Because this drink is a sipper, the Old-Fashioned is the


definitive drink with which to get lost in the company
of your loved ones. Being intentionally present with our
surroundings is such a perfectly old-fashioned approach
to genuine relationship building. Wouldn’t you agree?

Imbibe more of Crystal’s cocktail sensibilities on Instagram


@paisleyrosie.

Photo by Life Unstill Photography

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The FUN ISSU E | 21
REALIZE

Unleash Fitness
with Shana Schneider

Fitness is more fun when we connect it with the important people in our life.

F
inding time for fitness can sometimes feel like a tradeoff If you have kids, get out there with them and run around, and
between an activity that you may not want to do and not just after them (though that can be a workout in and of
the enjoyable things in your life—like spending time with itself!). Adults can go sledding too. Even if you don’t have kids,
family and friends. What if we could connect the two? engaging in some lowkey winter fun (snowball fight, anyone?)
will bring results you’d otherwise have to work out for.
The next time you catch up with a friend, instead of taking a
seat at the coffee shop to sit and chat, look for high-top tables Get moving with the people you want to spend time with—you’ll
where you can stand up; or, on a warm enough day, walk and find more time for fitness and enjoy it more, too!
talk. Standing or just keeping your body moving in some way
counts towards your fitness!
Learn to create your own Fit Style by following Shana on Instagram
@fitstylebyshana.

Photo by @jolyneh
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Sleepwear for a Cause
mct-usa.org

Bringing you closer to nature

davinejewelry.com

Our mission at SaltyGirl is to empower all women to #ownyourbeauty!


Be bold, embrace your sass, Show Strength and StaySalty! You are beautiful.

www.saltygirlboutique.com

The FUN ISSU E | 23


REALIZE

Unleash

P H O T O by @ I N B A L _ R A V I T Z
Companionship

In our ever-relenting desire to bond with likeminded souls, women have


been banding together for companionship and conversation for centuries.
Book club discussion groups—a timeless mainstay for intelligent + creative
women—offer a blend of knowledge-sharing and wisdom-receiving;
a quite literal “give and take” that our society could learn from!

Meet your book-loving companions with a bag just the right size
to hold your needed accessories: bookmarks, pens, tea (and your
favorite mug!), and enough essential oils to pass around.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
From Top:
VEGAN BACKPACK ($89) by Schumee ∙ LETTERPRESS BOOKMARK ($3) by Sarah and Maude ∙ GOLD PENS ($4) by Cynthia Rowley ∙
HERBAL TEA ($10) by New Moon ∙ TEA MUG ($30) by Heart Stone Gallery ∙ DOTERRA OIL COLLECTION ($70) by Lydia Mandell

The FUN ISSU E | 25


REALIZE

UNLEASH

Life-Changing
Moments
with photographer Rachel Hegerty

As a photographer, I gain most of my inspiration from


travel. I take my camera everywhere with me and getting
to take photos of new places, new landscapes, new people
is refreshing and rejuvenating. The trip to the Dominican
Republic with Dance Adventures was all that times ten!
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The FUN ISSU E | 27
T
his trip was all about fun and connection. There was literally
nothing else on the agenda! The Dominican Tree House
Village had no wi-fi or cell service, so we were forced (in a
good way) into connecting with those around us—and with ourselves.
There were plenty of opportunities to get to know each other, tell our
stories, ask questions, and share our dreams and goals.

And between those deep moments, we had fun! We rode bicycles


to the beach, laughing and joking the whole way. We made friends
with locals, did partner yoga, danced salsa and bachata in the dining
hall, played the ukulele, made up silly songs, drank coco locos on a
secluded beach, sang along to reggae tone. So many inside jokes were
created during this trip!

The morning we played at the Tree House Village was the ultimate
fun. I was nervous to go zip lining but conquering my fear was
exhilarating – flying through the air, screaming my head off, taking

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
pictures the entire time. At the waterfall, we
played on the rope swing, jumped from the cliff
into the pool, and swam together. I felt like a kid,
totally in the moment and totally at peace with
where I was and who I was with.

The looks on peoples’ faces in the photos, the


physical closeness – hugging, snuggling, holding
each other—speaks to the intimate connections
being made. There’s even a picture of me holding
hands on the way to El Limon waterfall—and
I‘m not a hand holder with my friends! In that
moment, I had to depend on someone to make it
up a steep walkway.

Before I left, I looked at the trip as a vacation and


a chance to take photos in a beautiful place. It
was so much more than that! I had the chance to
step outside my daily routine and comfort zone
and realize I am adventurous – in many different
ways. And I’ll celebrate the connections I made
on that journey for a very long time.

Rachel is a pup mom, pun aficionado, prosecco lover,


and full time photographer of weddings, headshots, and
marriage proposals in the Washington, D.C. area. See
more of her photography on Instagram @rachelehphotos.

The FUN ISSU E | 29


REALIZE

Unleash Intimacy
with Leigh Schwab

There’s a reason swapping makeup tips & products is a beloved pastime for women. (Hint: it’s fun!)

I
personally love sharing skin care and beauty tips with Of course, you don’t have to be a beauty consultant to take
others. This is a creative as well as emotional outlet for me. I advantage of shared interests!
get to help others find products that actually work for them,
as well as get to know my clients personally. Helping others You and your female friends can enjoy each other’s company

with self-care creates a personal connection between myself and also indulge in each other’s makeup faves or secret

and my clients. strategies. Host an intimate girl’s night where everyone brings
a favorite product, or throw a “clean out the makeup cabinet”
The personal connections I’ve made doing this work has party for your wider circle. The more women who attend, the
made me realize how intimate touch (in general) can be. more connections you can make!
I’ve also come to appreciate the simple but meaningful
connections between two women interested in similar things. continued on next page

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
1
BeYOUtiful
There are plenty of ways to connect with others -
sharing a girl’s night with your friends, holding
hands with a loved one, or simply indulging your
own senses.

1 Impromptu Fun.
Sharing in a moment of self-care is an excellent way
to connect with those around us. Having a masks and
movies night with your girlfriends is a great way to relax
and reconnect with each other. This mermaid mask
contains nutrient dense Hawaiian spirulina and raw
honey that will leave you and your friends with glowing
complexions!

Leigh recommends...
Leahlani’s Mermaid Mask ($32)
2

2 Intimate Touch.
Skin to skin contact, like holding hands, is such an
incredibly easy and small way to make an intimate
connection with someone. Having soft hands makes this
moment not so rough (excuse the terrible pun). I have
been using a body wax full of healing ingredients like
blue tansy and blue yarrow to treat my hands overnight.

Leigh recommends...
Khus+Khus Bleu Body Wax ($68)

3 Intuitive Self-Care.
Connect with your inner self by buying a product you
have always wanted to try! Sometimes I will read about
a product for months on end before biting the bullet
and getting it … just let go and do it! I’ve come to
realize that trusting my gut is usually the right decision.
I lusted after Plume’s Lash and Brow Serum for months 3
and after using it for almost a year, I can fully say that I
will never again be without it.

Leigh recommends...
Plume Lash and Brow Serum ($95)

Leigh Schwab uses her love for skin care to help educate women about the
ingredients in their products and the need for proper skin care legislation in
our country. Learn more about her passion for a healthy and simple life on
Facebook and Instagram @leighschwab.

Main Photo by @jazellesartistry

The FUN ISSU E | 31


Wellness can't be achieved
without community.

– M I N ESKA W H I TAKER
P H O T O by @ J O A N N A _ F I S H E R

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE

Unleash
Camaraderie
Connect to your sisters, and get some new clothes too!

A
clothing swap is just about the most beneficial (and fun!) In addition, you’ll gain perspective—That looks better on her
way to spend a few hours with friends that anyone’s than it ever did on me; compliments/self-esteem—She’s right, I
thought of yet. You mean, I get to hang out with other look good!!; and memories of a shared good time, not to mention
women, drink champagne, AND go home with a brand-new the possibility of more of the same—Wow! I never knew how
wardrobe? Don’t twist my arm! much I had in common with her. Maybe we should get together
for coffee sometime…
Okay—there is one catch. You have to be willing to let go. A
clothing swap, like connection in general, requires reciprocity. Go ahead, then. What are you waiting for? Call up some
You give and take, sometimes one more than the other. (I friends—or do it the modern way and create an event on
suppose you could attend for the champagne alone—but you Facebook—and get this swap organized. Or nominate someone
wouldn’t get nearly as much out of the experience!) else to do it, and volunteer to bring the champagne. Whatever
your part, you’ll leave feeling refreshed and just as excited as
Perhaps it helps to remind yourself of what you are getting in the last time you bought a new pair of shoes.
return. Sure, in this instance, you might get a few “new to you”
clothing items, maybe a couple pieces of jewelry and a fabulous
pair of shoes. That’s just the obvious and physical stuff, though. Photo by Michelle Roycroft @thefilmstill

The FUN ISSU E | 33


P E R SPECT I V ES from T H E PA N EL

What tools do you use to help you stay


connected to those you love?

I am a single mom of four. I also own and operate two businesses.

Heather The key to staying connected to my children and my partner is


quality one-on-one time. Whether it is a stolen hour at a local
Success Coach
coffee shop, tickets to a musical, or just snuggling up on the couch
to watch a show after everyone else is asleep, I make time for each
@vickeryandco
VickeryandCo.com of my loves on their own so that they know how loved they are.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE

Donella I love sending handwritten cards in the mail. Who doesn’t love
Wellness Diva getting mail? Not a bill, but a small handwritten note. Handwritten
notes are more personal. I love face-to-face time as well. Coffee
@iamdonella dates to people-watch with friends is another favorite.

My mom, my two daughters, and I all live in different states. We

Lisa use pictures to stay connected and feel like we’re “together".
For example, while working from home, I might send a picture
Founder
Living Fully Balanced LLC of the current view from my window, and each of them
will text what they’re seeing at the time. It's a fun way to
@livingfullybalanced
LivingFullyBalanced.com experience things together, even though we're miles apart.

Taylor
A handwritten note is the most intimate and genuine way to stay
Artist/Writer/
Homesteading Mother connected (nothing will ever change my mind about that). Social
media and phone calls will do... but even FaceTime can't replace
@living.ontheland
StudioOnTheLand.com the way humans feel while they discern another's expression.

Amy At least three days a year, my extended family gets together for
no other reason than to enjoy each other’s company and catch
Owner
Craftivate up. We may go to an aquarium, visit a vineyard, or just have lunch

@craftivatect at someone’s house. We spend time connecting with each other


CraftivateCT.com and sharing our lives; laughing, crying, and making memories.

The FUN ISSU E | 35


REALIZE

February Self-Care
Spread some Love. Creatively tell
someone you love them. Write it on a
post it and leave it where they will see
it. Do something nice for them without
being asked and when they notice, tell
them you love them.

Share the Fun. Always wanted to visit a


certain museum or take a trapeze class?
Allow yourself a chance to experience
something fun and invite someone
who might also enjoy it to share that
experience with you.

U N L EA S H H EA RT + S O U L

A hyper/tech-focused world means we spend less and less time connecting


with people In Real Life, yet we come into contact with so many people Oracle Cards
every day: our spouse, kids, co-workers, the coffee barista…even the Use code
PERPETUALYOUMAG
person in front of us in line at the grocery store. This month’s toolkit
for 18% off an “I Am
encourages you to notice all of the people in your day, and to seize any Power” deck at Love,
moment or opportunity to connect. Your heart and soul will thank you. Light & Legacy.

ORACLE CARD AC TION ACT IVIT Y DEVICE

I am Open Compliment Coloring Phone


BENEFITS BENEFITS BENEFIT S BENEFITS
Encourages connection Spreads love and increases Enhances friendship and Connects you to
through open-mindedness personal satisfaction promotes childlike fun those you love

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU T O O L K I T curated by @ A L L I S O N L R I C H A R D , P H O T O by @ T H E J O Y A R C H I V A L


to align your physical space
with your
ever-evolving self

The FUN ISSU E | 37


A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
fruit bowl /' froot bōl / noun
A give-and-take between
nature and nurture.

A R T by @ A M A N D A L U I S A A R T The FUN ISSU E | 39


T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
DWELL

Fun on Display
with Erin Mahollitz

Invite play into your everyday.

She wants laughter and joy in her home, call out to her loved ones—it’s not if they
so she makes space for games. She want to play, but what. She envisions
arranges them intentionally, letting a special event with popcorn + hot
the games spill out of their boxes: an drinks. On another day, she’ll challenge
invitation to connect, through play a close friend to a round of cards.
and spirit.
This woman is a wise woman. She
Her choice to decorate with games knows that play builds empathy which
is a visual commitment: While she increases connection. She has witnessed
arranges the cards, dice, and board how obstacles are removed when
games, she visualizes loved ones giggling the games are kept on display. Her
and cursing, playing and play-acting. smile widens, as she pictures her next
Inhibitions slipping away as individual party, full of fun, laughter, and play.
personalities come out. Relationships
growing with each shuffle of the cards.
See how Erin embraces the act of homemaking
At the end of her decorating, the games as sacred and feminist on Instagram
@mindfulhomemaking.
have all been freed. On display, they will
The FUN ISSU E | 41
Featured Space
@thegoddessspace is a sacred
space created to support women
in connecting back to their truth,
their power, and their femininity.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
DWELL

Gathering
Space
with LaToya Burton

Gathering friends is a fun way


to connect in your home.

O
ur living rooms are the public face of our
home, so they can be easily transformed
into a communal space for those we invite
in. Consider changing your living room into a creative
gathering space for a day.

Get started by setting your intention for your


gathering. Is it to honor a certain friend or life event?
Is it to give gratitude or for vision boarding? Is it all
about creativity and crafting? You choose. This is an
invitation to do things differently and to sprinkle a bit
of collective fun and magic into your space.

Begin creating by clearing the floor in your living


room - possibly in front of the sofa so it can help
to define your gathering space. Remember this is a
temporary space you are creating so I encourage
you to “go shopping” in other rooms of your home to
accomplish the final feel.

continued on next page

The FUN ISSU E | 43


This is your chance to go bold and to try combinations you’re Try calling in the four elements that make up our environment
curious about. Mix up patterns and colors in unexpected ways. when decorating: the earth, the air, the fire, the water. Bring
Browns, pinks, whites, and gold are not on a traditional color in stones or greenery for grounding and support. Candles to
wheel, but when combined in a range of patterns and textures ignite determination and passion. Incense or feathers represent
this palette is both inviting and unexpected at the same time. the air and our intellect. Shells or vessels of water reflect
inner emotions.
Start by selecting a single rug or layering two as a foundation to
circle on, then incorporate cushions - big or small – to be used Let your imagination run free as you choose your theme
as seating. Place a tray or a piece of wood or any flat surface in and special elements that evoke a sense of fun and fancy!
the center of your circle to be the base for your centerpiece. You decide how much change is called for and how much
Now it is time to accessorize. adornment you wish to imbue. And don’t be surprised when
some of your “temporary” design choices become long-
term decorations.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Dwell on This
Inviting fun into our lives and our homes is a
reminder of the importance of joy and how it can
be nurtured in creative ways. You can make room
for “gathering” in any part of your home, whether
temporarily or long-term, by remembering
the following:

1 Accessories = Freshness.
The willingness to change your space around gives
you freedom to bring in unexpected elements and
add a bit of drama. Try mixing up the items on your
mantel piece for the day; adding a large mirror
and a few candles might set the mood. Consider
incorporating over-sized leaves or lanterns or pots
you usually use in your garden, so you can enjoy them
year-round.

2 Texture = Flexibility.
You may feel strongly about that favorite pair of
curtains because you took so long in finding them—
that doesn’t mean you must keep them for 40 years,
though! Take a look around your space and assess
what truly feels outdated. Pillows, blankets, curtains,
and even rugs are a great way to update—or just
temporarily revise—a favorite space to lounge.

3 Color = Freedom.
What if you were throwing a party? Would you choose
the colors everyone expects of you, or would you
choose your very favorite palette? Lively colors set a
fun mood; soft pastels invite and soothe. Choose your
favorites! And pay attention to the mood you might
be making space for.

LaToya is a mama / imaginer / gypsy nomad who


explores life through the lens of interiors imagination
and inspiration. She lives on a bus with her husband
and son exploring the Australian landscape. For more
inspiration, follow her @latoyaburton_musing.

Photos courtesy of Anoushka Florence Loftus,


@cactus4.

The FUN ISSU E | 45


Coming
Together
T H E C O - C R E AT I O N O F O U R K I T C H E N

Words by Tessa Chittle

Photos by Markie Lynn Jones

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The FUN ISSU E | 47
DWELL

When we are making things, our guard is let


down. We open. We get vulnerable. There is
no hiding one’s full authentic self when in the
process of creation together. The moments
of conflict that may arise just further crack
open our facades to let people in and allow
us to engage on a whole new level.

C O - C R E AT I O N A S C O N N E C T I O N

When I think of connecting, I immediately think of co-


creating. I find that the best way for me to go deeper
in a relationship — whether it be with a new friend, my
daughter needing some extra time with me, or a husband
who feels distant — is to share in the process of making
something together.

It might be as simple as gathering friends together for a


crafting day or as big as cultivating a homestead. Through
the process of co-creation, you learn about and start to
appreciate how the other person sees the world: their thought
processes, their style, their strengths, and their challenges.
You are forced to work through things together (even
when it feels impossible!), feel emotions together, and solve
problems together.

continued on page 50

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Feeding people is a
way of loving them.

– SHAUNA NIEQUIST

The FUN ISSU E | 49


Some of the things we want to stand for include
sustainability, re-use, frugality, making beauty,
creating community, and practicing creativity.
Therefore, our kitchen was planned with these in
mind. We settled on a budget of $1000 because our
values meant we would be using mostly salvaged
and used things, we would be doing all the work
ourselves, and, with only limited funds, we had
many priorities on the homestead that embodied
our values more than brand new stainless
steel appliances.

I’m a lover of beautiful design, and I have the


Pinterest board of farmhouse kitchens to prove
it! Over the years, in anticipation of finally having
a kitchen to love, I’ve stocked a cabinet full of
antique finds. I wasn’t just looking for a functional
homestead kitchen, but a place of beauty, where
I could drink my coffee in the morning and feel
inspired. It needed to be a place that people could
gather around delicious farm to table food and
feel connected.
In the first few years of parenting, my husband and I haven’t gone on many
dates. However, we stay connected through the many creative projects I used to think my love of beautiful things
of cultivating a homestead, life, and business that allow us to embody conflicted with my values of sustainability and
our values. We find that while co-creating as a couple can sometimes be my husband’s fierce conviction for living frugally.
difficult (sometimes very difficult!), it allows our relationship to go to new The truth is beautiful things don’t cost a lot or
depths with every project we take on together. require the use of a lot of the earth’s resources if
I embrace my full creativity. My husband holding
Our latest co-creation was no different. Transforming the worlds ugliest me accountable to figuring out a way to make my
kitchen into a functional and beautiful farmhouse kitchen, completely beautiful visions happen for very little money was
by ourselves and on a budget of $1000! We experienced many frustrated also of help!
moments and disagreements, and the project allowed us to more fully
appreciate each other’s strengths, connect deeper through our shared
values, and forever be reminded of what we are capable of together every C O - C R E AT I O N I N A C T I O N
time we walk into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.
The first step we took was to rip out all the mostly
broken cardboard-like cabinets and plastic green
countertops as well as the half wall blocking the
C O - C R E AT I O N A S A VA L U E S S TAT E M E N T
view from dining space to cooking space. We
One thing I recommend to anyone who is co-creating is to have a shared replaced the cabinets with used but all-wood
“manifesto” that outlines your shared values, collective strengths, cabinets and added decorative trim before painting
and larger motivations for the project. My husband and I have a family them farmhouse white. We covered the existing
manifesto that guides all our projects and answers the question “What do
we want to stand for in the world with how we live our life, including every
project we embark on?” continued on p.52

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Want to Stay at the Homestead?
You can stay in the Chittle Homestead's
stylish Tiny House through AirBnB, just a
ferry-ride away from Seattle. See the full
listing at: airbnb.com/rooms/13509546?

The FUN ISSU E | 51


countertop with a thin layer of concrete to get the look of a concrete
countertop. Where there were no countertops, we made our own by
gluing together wood planks and staining them to look like old barn
wood.

To fulfill my dreams of a shiplap-filled farmhouse, we created faux


shiplap using plywood planks on the walls instead of buying the
pricier version. We also added thick wood trim around our windows
which had previously been surrounded by the typical plastic-y
material used in manufactured homes. Take note, this small change
that costs $10-15 in wood per window is one of the biggest bang for
your buck changes you can make in a builder grade home to bring in
more of a craftsman or farmhouse feel!

We completely replaced all our appliances (fridge, stove, dishwasher)


for $200 by using Craigslist and found a pair of schoolhouse light
fixtures there. The biggest splurges in the budget were the antique
butcher block and the farmhouse sink; since both were “antique with
a story” they embodied so much of the style and values we wanted for
our kitchen, and the cost was worth it.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
I will be honest, sometimes it would have been so much While in the process, my husband and I found ourselves
easier to just buy something new or to hire an expert (i.e. often annoyed at each other’s very different work styles
plumber). For example, the China-made reproductions of and sometimes our differing design styles created difficult
antique bin pulls for the cabinets were easy to find and moments that led to going to bed cranky. However, in the
WAAAAY cheaper than the actual rusty antique ones. end, the creation is more beautiful than what we could have
However, my manifesto helped me stay true to my values and created alone. For example, the dark countertops weren’t
wait until just the right EBay listing came up. Decisions like what I envisioned in my light on white kitchen but my
this are much easier with our manifesto in place! husband assured me it would be awesome and now I love the
depth that the darkness brings to the space.

C O - C R E AT I O N M E A N S C O M P R O M I S E The moments where differences come to a head in


conflict are often the biggest opportunity for connecting.
It’s important to acknowledge from the beginning of the
Those nights we went to bed cranky led to some of the
project that compromise will happen and that will allow for a
most deepening conversations we have had as a couple,
totally unique thing to be created. Whether it be differences
and allowed us to more fully understand, embrace, and
in style of shelf brackets or style of how you get things done,
appreciate each other’s different strengths, values, and ideas
the true beauty of co-creating is the unique combination of
for how to embody those values in our daily life.
the two (or many) people involved.

continued on page 56

The FUN ISSU E | 53


T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Tessa’s Tips
Having a budget doesn’t mean you can’t have what you
want. After all, we transformed our manufactured home
kitchen into a beautiful, sustainable dream kitchen! These
are my top recommendations for staying on budget without
compromising your dreams.

Get Creative
͞Paint over old flooring or existing cabinets with a
low/no VOC paint. Cover existing countertops with
concrete or paint. If you want the look of natural
wood, you can make your own stains from vinegar,
onion skins, red wine, or coffee. Or find a natural wood
stain line such as Saman. Milk paint or chalk paint can
be made at home and is great for a whitewashed look.
Also, our differing approaches were what got us through
Or just protect natural wood with pure tung oil.
those moments that needed extreme creativity and
diverse ways of seeing things, like when we had to
move the plumbing without any plumbing knowledge 1 Get Crafty
or overcome a wood filler that turned our countertops Use a sustainable source of plywood to create faux
bright purple! As a result of letting my husband have his farmhouse plank flooring. For cabinets, you can add
say on the countertops, I’m now considering bringing in on bead board before painting or remove doors to
more of the dark color when we repaint the floors. create the look of open shelving. Upcycle cabinets
from old dressers, buffets, dry sinks, sideboards,
workbenches, credenzas, or kitchen islands. There
C O - C R E AT I O N B R I N G S O P P O R T U N I T Y are many tutorials online if you want to make your
own countertops from wood planks.
Co-creating with those you love has its complications
and frustrations, and doesn't work for everyone;
however, many people’s relationships can be taken to 2 Get Choosy
new depths by experiencing the process of creating
It’s easy to walk into a big box store and grab the first
together with their partner, friend, community, or child.
sink they have for sale. For us, finding cabinet pulls
Some of the most beautiful things in the world are a on eBay and a used sink on Craigslist was a way to
result of people coming together to MAKE things. adhere to our values and still get a good bargain.
We even chose to use a non-toxic wood filler, which
In the end, through creativity and commitment to our
we had to order online because there weren’t any
values, I got my dream homesteading kitchen even with available options at the usual hardware stores!
our tiny budget. More importantly, through being co-
creators in the dream, my husband and I forever share
the pride of making something together, the memories 3 Get Coached
and funny stories of the process, and a kitchen that we If you really want a custom look but can’t afford to pay
can now fill with our love, laughter, and yummy food. for it, Pinterest is about to become your best friend.
We are forever bonded by what we’ve made together. There are countless tutorials, blog posts, and pictures
about every home renovation project you can think
of. Whether you’re making cabinet pulls from loops of
Tessa Chittle is a Homesteading Mama, lover of upcycled leather or re-wiring an antique light fixture, someone
creations and beautiful design, and visionary of how to do things out there in Pinterest land has already done it and
differently whether it be in business, life, or parenting. You can has shared about it online. Why not make the most of
follow Tessa’s homestead journey on Facebook, Instagram @
their experience?
tessachittle and Pinterest @TheFarmstay.

Photos by Markie Lynn Jones

The FUN ISSU E | 55


Shop
the Look
Choosing a farmhouse aesthetic doesn’t
mean giving up on modern conveniences,
thanks to the availability of handcrafted
goods by small batch makers and updated
bohemian lines at many major retailers.
Here we showcase some of our favorite
farmhouse-modern products, inspired by the
accessories in this month’s featured space:

Suggested products for a similar look:

VINTAGE KITCHEN SCALE ($39.95) by Williams Sonoma ∙ IMPERIAL CAVIAR RED WINE GLASSES ($78/set of 2) by Anthropologie ∙
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU INDUSTRIAL FLOATING SHELVES ($134/set of 3) by Henry Lewis Home
Touchstone
corresponds to
Benjamin Moore
2115-10

Airy + Tender
corresponds to
Benjamin Moore
CW-105

Turn Up
the Fun!
corresponds to
Benjamin Moore
280

RECL A I M CO N N ECT I O N

Turquoise
Divine
corresponds to Connection is both pure and honest; reclaiming our right to be attuned to our homes
Benjamin Moore and our loved ones will, therefore, bring us a feeling of greater authenticity—not
658
to mention pure, unadulterated fun. In the kitchen, connection happens often,
sporadically and naturally. Pay attention to these times and bask in the memories
you’re creating.

Is your kitchen already fun-fun-fun? Here are other areas of the home where you can
incorporate this color palette:
Authentic
Boho Bedroom Modern Lounge
Tones
Wanderlust is both grounding and freeing. Balancing formal with fun in a casual space
corresponds to
Fill your bedroom with natural elements offers more dimension. Include a backdrop of
Benjamin Moore
to pay homage to your roots, and add in your favorite neutral colors and let turquoise
2143-70
pops of turquoise and your favorite shiny seep in where least expected – on a lacquered
trinkets, as reminders that earth and spirit are side table, for example, or a paint-splattered
inherently intertwined. tablecloth repurposed as art.

The FUN ISSU E | 57


P H O T O by @ L A U R E N S T E V E N S 2 4

Encourage, lift, and strengthen one


another. For the positive energy
spread to one will be felt by us all.
– DEB OR A H DAY
to align your life story
with your
ever-evolving sense of self
A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y
T H REE Q U ES T I O N S

with Nadia
What's one aspect of your daily life that How do you encourage connection in For you, what is the relationship of fun
is fun? your physical dwelling space? & connection?

Cooking daily as a creative outlet, I have a passion for tea. In the French culture, Connections can enhance fun and fun can
experimenting with new recipes. Kola, our tea time is a ritual that invites intellectual increase connections! It’s reciprocal. Getting
dog, brings me the ball when I have been conversations. The numerous teas displayed together with people adds energy to any
being idle for too long—reminding me of the on my kitchen shelf remind me to pause and activity. Also Play makes any connection
necessity of down time. I sometimes challenge sit down with family members and friends. easier. When people are in a playful mode,
myself to pay attention to everything I find they tend to be more true to themselves and
playful and fun, or makes me smile. I take a therefore make more authentic connections.
mental picture of it or collect photos of what
is fun in my iPhone.

The FUN ISSU E | 61


{Re}
Connect
to Your
State of

A Conversation with
Nadia Stieglitz

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Words by The Lee Lee

Photos by Annabel Braithwaite

The FUN ISSU E | 63


When was the

l
p ayed
last time you

T
his is the question Nadia Stieglitz, a “play coach” of the challenge to take seven B & W pics in seven days, and
sorts, prefers to ask when she meets someone new. found that to be an easy to way to get into a state of play.
Instead of hearing about what you do, she wants
to know what kind of person you are. Knowing how you “Play is different for everyone,” says Nadia. What you’re

play—and how often you play—reveals your personality and doing isn’t as important as “how it makes you feel.” What

preferences. constitutes “Play” can get confusing only if we feel obligated


to pursue an activity because everyone else enjoys it or
Nadia tells of a time when she asked this question of a because someone expects you should enjoy it. Play, says
woman she had just met at a bar. The woman said she’d Nadia, can be as simple as “absorbing activity that enhances
just recently hiked up Mt. Kilimanjaro, and Nadia, who your mood” and allows you to “unwind and feel good.”
grew up hiking in the Alps, knew in that instant that they’d
make good friends. “She had me at Kilimanjaro,” says Simply being mindful can also be a form of playfulness.

Nadia, laughing. When Nadia first works with women who’ve “lost their
sense of play,” she encourages them to just go throughout
Nadia herself can spout off a list of several ways she plays the day, as normal, and “notice everything that makes you
through her day – from singing opera to dancing along smile.” Another suggestion she gives is to take a walk down
with an Earth, Wind, and Fire song, to giving in to her dog’s a familiar route and look for new things. This will bring
demands to pay him attention. She also recently accepted “peace” and “presence.”

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
W H Y I S P L AY S O H A R D ?

Nadia began an organization called Mice at Play when she


realized that women around her age were often denying
themselves opportunities to engage in activities that were
for pure enjoyment. Partly, this comes from a culture that
doesn’t value downtime and, partly, it comes from a culture
that places very high expectations on women.

“Society does not allow us to play,” says Nadia. We’re


either working all the time to afford ourselves the kind
of life we want to live or we’re working less because we
have other demands on our time; for example, caretaking.
Paradoxically, women are often the “provider of pleasure
and fun,” says Nadia, yet “they are not the ones who
receive it.”

“Motherhood is not a 9-5 job,” Nadia says, quoting a friend


of hers. Even now that Nadia’s own daughters are older—19,
21, and 22—she still finds herself waiting up at odd hours of
the night; or wondering if she’s balancing the appropriate
amount of parenting & friendship in a single conversation.

Nadia remembers her mother’s generation being


quieted when laughing out loud. “Women’s expressions
of playfulness was not proper,” she says. Nor was
“disinhibition” allowed. Nadia herself loved to play so much
so that she got in trouble for doing so at school and was
fortunate to have a mother who valued playful expression
as a “way of asserting your freedom.”

Even in today’s modern society, negative messages about


play continue to get passed down—in our education, which
is “subject-based” rather than “project-based” and in our
media, through magazines that make women feel as though
they need to be “more, or different, than what we are,”
says Nadia. When we do choose to “play,” we often choose
activities that are “dictated by society” because they make
us “pleasing to others,” says Nadia; for example, a getting a
manicure or going to the gym.

continued on next page

The FUN ISSU E | 65


Nadia, in fact, sees engaging in playful activities as an aspect Women are also indulging in creative pastimes & careers;
of her feminism. As a mother and a wife, Nadia has refused engaging in work that uses their natural talents. And,
to “compromise” her innate sense of play. “I always took like Nadia, who is exploring her connection with Art,
playtime for myself,” she says, “to show the kids that women reconnecting to pursuits that were pushed aside for other
can have free time.” She also felt more present whenever more logical or fruitful activities.
she’d return from this time alone.
Playfulness—which Nadia defines as “being completely
engrossed in an activity that creates a state of wellbeing
W H Y I S P L AY S O I M P O R TA N T ? with no one telling you to do otherwise”—leads to confidence,
happiness, and “the disruption of negative feelings.” When
Not only do women “deserve time off,” says Nadia, but “we
the magic of play happens, we accomplish things we
are at a moment of empowerment” in our society. Women are
otherwise wouldn’t have ever considered.
connecting to their divine wisdom and ancient practices, like
gathering with each other and lifting each other up. Because of this, “society will benefit” from women playing
more, says Nadia. In her work with adult women, Nadia

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
has witnessed a positive “ripple effect” on families, which in turn effects
communities and, eventually, society as a whole.

For example, one woman who signed up for a trapeze playdate


remembered—just as she was about to jump—that she had been a triathlete
in her youth. This acknowledgement allowed her to reclaim a core part
of herself, and also caused a powerful shift in her family dynamics. Now
she and her husband both participate in triathalons, which has the added
benefit of allowing couple-time away.

continued on page 69

The FUN ISSU E | 67


T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
“I love it when women take a leap of faith,” says Nadia.
“When women are in a state of play, they are fearless.”
Nadia believes if women can connect to this inner sense of Have Fun,
Feel More
play, then they will be able to take on more projects in their
everyday lives that ignite this confidence and fearlessness.

H O W D O E S P L AY R E L AT E Nadia’s community-oriented organization,


TO CONNECTION? Mice at Play, was specifically designed to help

When she lived in NYC, Nadia realized that one of the


a woman figure out what she wanted more of
primary reasons adult women don’t engage in playful in her life. “There’s a positive benefit to doing
activities is fear. There were in fact some activities she something with someone else,” says Nadia,
herself wanted to try out but hadn’t because she would’ve
because women joining a group activity are
had to do it alone. As much as she would have enjoyed
more likely to do something they wouldn’t do
scholarly discussion on the issues of play in women’s lives,
Nadia knew that her organization needed to focus on alone. Playful activities are also a great way
action and connection. to replace fear with something you do want in
your life.
“When we gather, we push each other to do stuff we
wouldn’t do by ourselves,” says Nadia. Also, she wanted
women to “experience the feeling of play” right away. Doing 1 Courage.
something physical (as opposed to discussion) brings real-
Nadia’s go-to activities for facing fears? Hiking a mountain
time benefits, whether happiness in the moment or long- or Swinging from a Trapeze. You don’t have to have an inner
term feelings of courage and confidence. athlete in order to take on an active challenge; you simply
need to find the right partners and face your fears. Sharing
this with others who feel the same as you do will result in a
Also, connection—like play—has been distorted over time
round of courage (and connection!) for everyone.
to be something that isn’t as fulfilling as its meant to be.
“Virtual connection,” says Nadia, “is not what makes us
happy.” Take your friendships offline and meet in person, 2 Balance.
she counsels. Shared experiences, in real life, double the Perhaps your biggest fear is missing out (also known as
positive rewards. FOMO). You don’t have to engage in every activity everyone
else is doing. Aim for a blend of high-activity (see previous
“We have to work at creating connections,” says Nadia, tip) and low-activity—for example, taking a class at an Art
Museum with a friend. Choose a subject that is intriguing but
to avoid isolation and stagnation. “We’re wired to live
not stressful--the experience is just meant to be fun in the
communally,” she says. As an example of her frustration moment and create some lasting memories.
with the limits technology imposes, Nadia tells of a group
of “mice” (i.e. women on a playdate) having just reached a
high of playfulness and connection, only to be brought back 3 Imagination.
down by the collective return to their cell phones. Your day-to-day life might be the most fearful thing of all!
Routine, even when necessary, can easily become another
thing that gets you down. For this type of fear, Nadia
As each of the women received messages of expectation
recommends something really out of your comfort zone; for
and demands on her time, “the excitement evaporated,” example, getting together for a vintage-themed photoshoot,
says Nadia. Things as seemingly innocuous as a partner or taking a daytrip with nothing but an idea in mind (and a
inquiring about cooking time for a pizza can easily make friend by your side!).

women feel guilty about having left their family to do


something purely for fun.
If you’d like to have a certain feeling more often, connect
with a group in your area or call a friend, and pursue an
activity that brings the feeling into your life. Your fear
continued on next page will be replaced in no time!

The FUN ISSU E | 69


If you’re not yet ready to insert yourself
into a group, or if you’ve just moved to a
new neighborhood or city, Nadia suggests
designing your home in a way that invites play
and connection. A student of Feng Shui, Nadia
believes that your space should “make you
feel good” and “support who you are” while
also representing how you want to feel.

After moving to Charleston, Nadia brought


new artwork in her home so that she could
“see people together” and be reminded of
her “need to be in a community.” She also
furnished the dining room with a large,
round table, ready for communication and
fellowship whenever it arrived.

Another trick to reconnect to the sense of


open-mindedness that your younger self
intuitively had is to spend time with a child,
either playing with a younger one or having
casual conversation with young adults. The
innocence of youth challenges “what we
hold to be true,” says Nadia, and thereby
encourages curiosity.

To truly connect to our state of play, says


Nadia, we must "release the guilt" from
spending time with or on ourselves. Instead,
"give yourself permission to focus on what
makes you feel playful...to Find Your Play."

H O W C A N I C O N N E C T T O P L AY ? Pursuing and engaging in the playful process


is, in fact, an act of rebellion, notes Nadia,
Maybe having more play in your life sounds wonderful—but you’re concerned against “a society that benefits from our
about the repercussions. After all, children have to be fed! Right!? “The pizza industriousness.” Because of this, playing
doesn’t matter,” says Nadia, albeit with compassion. In the long run, a woman takes courage—bravery to see the bigger
without a sense of wellbeing isn’t of much use to anyone. picture—a state of mind that’s easier when
you’ve got a couple friends along for the ride.
Start small. Play doesn’t have to be “monumental” activities, says Nadia.
(Read: You don’t have to hike Mt. Kilimanjaro!) As long as you are taking a
mental break, connecting to yourself, your community, and/or to the world
As Managing Editor of The Perpetual You, The Lee
around you, you are engaging in play. Lee has been blessed to interview and write about
28 amazing women—after which time, she spends
If you’re feeling guilty, remind yourself that play enhances connection to hours agonizing over the writing process in her
Hamden, CT home. Follow her procrastination on
and enjoyment of those you care about. And, of course, play can bring more
Instagram @wordsbyleelee.
connections into your life—whether strengthening a network of friends, or
providing an opportunity to meet new ones. Photos by Anabel, @belathee

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Connect
with Nadia
 @nadiastieglitz
 @miceatplay
NadiaStieglitz.com

The FUN ISSU E | 71


We are wired to
live communally.
– N A DI A STI EGLI TZ

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
to align your innermost thoughts
with your
ever-evolving perspective
A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y
I L L U S T R A T I O N by @ V E L A S Q U E Z S T U D I O
Rudbeckia
Rudbeckias, also known as Black-
eyed Susans, grow with ease, quickly
and effortlessly. It’s no wonder these
flowers are considered “friendship
flowers,” their bright yellow florets
carrying the message of encouragement.
One of the first flowers to bloom after
a natural disaster, these resilient
flowers resemble the unconditional
connection and loyalty that occurs in
friendships, especially in times of need.

The FUN ISSU E | 75


I understand now that I’m not
a mess but a deeply feeling
person in a messy world.

– GLENNON DOYLE MELTON

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LIVE

Coming Home
to Your Body
with Casee Marie

Settling into being can boost your energy and your emotions.

A
s both an introvert and an empath, I tend to be easily In fact, this seemingly inconsequential action is really an act
overwhelmed by other people’s energies. The empath of connecting with our bodies. When I’m alone I can connect
in me feels emotions deeply while the introvert to my breathing, whether I need a few restorative deep-
requires solitude to recharge. In our hyper-connected culture, belly breaths or I just need a few minutes of slow, connected
with its penchant for social interaction and multitasking, it breaths. I’m not trying to escape from a situation; rather to
can be a real challenge to find meaningful ways to escape the invest in restorative presence.
noise and find the connection I crave.
Prior to this realization, I often felt that retreating into my
As an introvert, I’ve always felt a little burdened, moving body was an act of hiding because I focused on my going
languidly with my home perched upon my back as the inward purely in contrast to being comfortable enough to go
extroverted hares run freely around me, sometimes causing outward. In effect, I reinforced self-esteem issues more often
me to stumble in their tailwinds. My introverted nature made than I found healing which caused me to bully myself into
me feel like an outsider in comparison to the extrovert’s more inactivity and physical disconnect.
socially-acceptable outgoing personality. I’ve learned, though,
that there are some particularly special qualities of being an When the belief of not being comfortable changed to a

introvert that, when harnessed, can benefit an intentional life. belief of not being worthy, I all but abandoned ownership of
my body. A preference for softer forms of embodiment—for
The wonderful thing about being an introvert and an empath example, mindfulness and meditation—over rigorous exercise
is the capacity I have for feeling and awareness. To be able to led me to believe I wasn’t allowed to inhabit my body in
retreat into my body, my inner solitude, when things around moments of physical connection and movement.
me begin to get overwhelming is a comforting practice.
People who identify as introverts will understand the popular
practice of locking oneself in a bathroom to escape from a
continued on next page
crowded place.

The FUN ISSU E | 77


When you start to get conditional with your body, you get that stir me up and wake my soul. Now I have daily solo dance
conditional with yourself; eventually, you’re never quite good parties as a self-care ritual.
enough on any level. For me, this disconnection took me on a
journey toward body shame and deep-rooted self-criticism. The songs are introvert-type songs—quiet and thoughtful,
full of soul and feeling. For me, the slower and more mindful
To finally give myself permission to be at home in my body movement felt more fun, and more natural. Eventually, I
again required cultivation of a powerful shift in mindset. One began taking that playlist out of my solitude and into my life.
of the ways I began to do this was by embracing the natural Whether listening in the car or through headphones in public,
aspects of my introverted, empathetic self: I started paying I’m instantly brought back to that place of true connection
attention to my body, and slowly replaced my inner critical between mind, body, and soul.
voice with one of compassion.
Other times, connecting with my body is as simple as resting
Movement came through small acts of permission that soon my hand over my heart as I breathe. One of the simplest and
turned into empowering acts of self-care. I took my aptitude most powerful practices of being physically present, a hand
for regaining energy in solitude and explored where I could to the heart is a universal sign of compassion, a prayer made
allow myself freedom. Fascinatingly enough, I found it in entirely out of love; to gift that to ourselves is a true sign that
dancing. I made a playlist of all the in-my-bones favorite songs

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
your physical energy and connecting with your body is an
act of great self-compassion – an invitation to live life fully
and deeply.

When you tend to your body, you tend to the home of your
soul. What could be more worthy of permission?

we are committed to our own wellbeing, and making every Casee Marie is a motivational writer living in Wallingford, Connecticut
effort to love ourselves. with her rescue pup, Blaze. She is the author of the online journal
Hope & Harbor where she writes to encourage a deeper relationship
with compassion and vulnerability. You can connect with her at
Giving ourselves permission to be connected and present in
caseemarie.com.
our bodies is especially challenging in a culture that views
self-love as self-indulgence. Remember that inhabiting Photos by Amanda Luisa, MandaLuisa.com.

GET INSPIRED.

March 12-15, 2018 | Southbury, CT

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Speakers, Schedule, and More at InspirePhotoRetreats.com, or follow @inspirephotoretreats.

* Get $50 off your registration fee with the code PERPETUALLYINSPIRED!

The FUN ISSU E | 79


T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LIVE

Your Vibe
Attracts
Your Tribe
O N T H E I M P O R TA N C E O F
C U LT I VAT I N G S I S T E R H O O D

with Casee Marie

The more intent we become on making our


selves happy, the more likely the Universe
is to bring us the gift of friendship.

C
ontrasting my present self with how I once was
is strange. Then, a master of avoidance and
crippled by social anxiety; now, writing to you
about social relationships–and having real, inspiring
experience to draw from.

continued on next page

The FUN ISSU E | 81


The shift started with a support group. The women I met were As I’ve practiced with being more open, more willing to share,
extraordinarily brave and passionate, doing hard work that I and more empathetic toward the women around me, I’ve
was also undertaking: learning to ditch shame, to rationalize likewise found myself growing more compassionate toward
fear, and to finally take ownership of their lives. Though of myself and my areas of struggle. And the support I’ve gained
different generations and cultural backgrounds, we share a from my friends has carried me through even my darker
determination to get deep into the experience of life with wild, periods of self-doubt.
radical self-compassion.
In turn, learning to celebrate myself led to a renewed vigor to
Technology and the internet can be wonderful; I’ve met some celebrate the gifts of others. Women share an innate spiritual
of my greatest soul sisters through the web, and life would be connection; the way we treat one (the self) directly affects
a dream if I could adventure around San Miguel de Allende the way we treat the other. Heart-centered sisterhood is the
or take an impromptu trip to Disneyland. I’m grateful beyond antidote to the age-old patriarchal ideas that women exist to
measure for these friends I’ve never met in person, though be pitted against each other. Judgement has no home here.
I also need a sisterhood with whom I can technologically Intolerance cannot survive. Comparison is unwelcome. What’s
disconnect to spiritually reconnect. left amid the embers when the fires of conflict die out is the
foundation of a raw and powerful new way of being.
Whether meeting for lunch or dinner, we spend hours riveted
in deep conversation, baring our souls and laughing ourselves There’s a popular saying that one ought to talk to oneself as
to tears in turn. Our connection is revered as we openly marvel we would a friend; in my experience, this has been one of the
at the restoration of our combined energy. Pride and empathy most foundational truths for both self-love and building a solid,
comingle; we’ve been brought together by something greater supportive tribe. In my sisterhood, uniqueness is celebrated,
than ourselves and we soak in this miraculous blessing. just as I celebrate the uniqueness of myself; small wins are
deserving of big applause, just as I applaud the small wins of my
In this gathering of deep breaths and aha moments, there’s own life.
ample opportunity for an I-thought-I-was-the-only-one
revelation. Sometimes one of us will softly tread around our My energy is a beacon reaching out for other passionate,
vulnerability, knowing we’re safe; other times we’ll dream creative, kind energies with which to commune. After the
up brave adventures and make great plans to give ourselves laughter and the crying, the pain and the empowerment, we
permission to get really courageous: to go to the yoga class, to take a deep breath and look around at each other, feeling the
get the massage, or to publish the poem. blessing of true connection and forever sisterhood.

Among the benefits my small but mighty tribe has brought me


is a unique sense of validation that I’ve been able to stand upon Casee Marie is a motivational writer living in Wallingford, Connecticut
to reach higher for my dreams. Undeniably, this has brought with her rescue pup, Blaze. She is the author of the online journal
Hope & Harbor where she writes to encourage a deeper relationship
about a desire to embrace my creative curiosity, to pursue my
with compassion and vulnerability. You can connect with her at
dreams, and to celebrate the woman I’m becoming. caseemarie.com.

Photos by Joanna Fisher, @joanna_fisher

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The FUN ISSU E | 83
Advertise with Us
Below is a timeline showing our upcoming themes for Series 9 and the deadlines
for submitting your ad. Learn more at bit.ly/TPYpartners.

ISSUE 1 ISSUE 2 IS S UE 3 IS S UE 4
APRI L 2 018 M AY 2018 J UN E 2018 J ULY 2018

Create Ease by Create Wealth by Create Fun by Create Joy by


Choosing Forgiveness Embracing Legacy Unleashing Kindness Celebrating Rarity
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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
When women gather with
intention, shift happens.
– C H R I S T I N E A RY L O

P H O T O by @ B E L A T H E E The FUN ISSU E | 85


CONNECTING THROUGH
AUTHENTICITY AND VULNERABILITY

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Words by Anung V

Photos by Lauren Alexandria

The FUN ISSU E | 87


LIVE

We are all wonderful, broken creatures. If we love our


whole selves, it’s possible to establish—or unleash,
rather—a genuine connection with someone else
despite (or because of) our flaws and pitfalls.

BE VULNERABLE

The Japanese tradition, kintsugi, is the art of recognizing the


beauty of broken things. “Golden joinery”—a method of restoring
a broken piece, usually pottery, with a lacquer that is mixed with
gold, silver, or platinum—teaches that broken objects are not
something to hide but to display with pride.

When you reach a point in your life where you feel an outpouring
of love not only from yourself, but from those around you, too,
you’ll realize your worth. You don’t have to wait until you’re “pretty
enough,” “educated enough,” or “enough” of anything else. You have
worth right now.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Take time to reflect on your strengths and BE AUTHENTIC
weaknesses, and set goals for yourself with
How do we meet these individuals, and how do we get them—and keep
every passing day. Soon, you’ll get to a place
them—in our corner? There’s no app for that. There’s no magic button or
where you want to take care of yourself not
browser extension we can click on to find a support group that will love
because you feel you have to, but because you
on us when we’re in need of it most. To unleash authentic connection in a
know you deserve goodness.
busy world, you’ve got to put in a little leg work.

What if we were to go out into the world, scars


My sense of adventure brought me to the place where I met my husband.
and all, living life to the fullest? That is how we
We became friends for a while first, enjoying the same activities and
find our most meaningful connections: people
getting to know each other. Needing an outlet for myself opened me up for
who can smooth over our edges with their
those connections. That naturally moved from one to the other.
brush strokes, fill in a missing piece with their
light. People who see the best in us even when
we’re at our worst. People with whom we can
continued on next page
truly enjoy life

The FUN ISSU E | 89


My sense of wonder has shown me such beautiful people who people can walk into a room and strike up a conversation with
I trust and with whom I can be vulnerable. Needing to get out just about anyone. Others of us need to take it slower.
into the world again and dare myself to do something scared
me, but I shared that fear with the others in there and we What kind of energy can you give? Do you enjoy taking part in

worked together. large group activities, or engaging in smaller, more intimate


settings? What about the things you don’t like to do? What
I’ve lost good friends in the process of finding and enjoying are you willing to tolerate for the right person? Sometimes we
myself. Despite being scared, I decided not to let my growth be need to make sacrifices to appease those we love.
hindered by others. No matter how well meaning. An authentic
path, though lonely at times, will lead you to others that will As long as our relationships with others are a mutual give

enlighten your path more. and take, making small sacrifices here and there will only
strengthen our relationships in the long run. Think of it this
way: If you want others at your side as you take the world
BE REALISTIC by storm, you’ll need to show a little love for their favorite
pastimes now and again, too.
How many times have you attended an event—be it a birthday
party, happy hour, or networking conference—and felt out of How many people can you handle at one given time? Never
place? How many times have you struggled finding someone mind “introverts” vs. “extroverts” — no matter who you are,
to connect with, unsure of how to begin a conversation? Some

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
it’s likely you can only handle so many personalities at once.
Allow yourself the space to figure out the environments in
which you thrive. If you know you prefer small groups, a large
conference setting will present a challenge. Conversely, if you
can’t stand being alone, maybe bigger is better.

B E B R AV E

What do you love? What makes you tick? What’s your guilty
pleasure? This is the type of information others are hungry for.
We all have that magical person with whom we share common
ground. When we find them, conversation is so much easier.

Technology offers us a safe space to express ourselves and


even engage in conversation with others without ever leaving
our home. Unfortunately, that means it also offers us the space
to be complacent in our lives, never needing to step outside
and explore something new, in real life.

If you do the same things over and over again, for example
always grabbing brunch at the same restaurant, it may be time
to try something new. If you cancel plans that may have you
stepping outside of your comfort zone, take small steps to
widen that boundary.

Life is meant to be explored; technology is meant to enhance


our lived experiences, not diminish them. Use technology only
when it will bring you closer to your goals, faster. Want to meet
someone new? Good thing billions of people are active online
every single day. Want to meet someone in your neighborhood?
Put your phone down, go for a walk, and say hey. (That’s the leg
work we were talking about earlier).

BE CONNECTED

Feeling disconnected in today’s hyper-connected society


might be ironic but it’s not uncommon. Despite the ever-
growing number of apps, websites, blogs, podcasts, TV
shows, and social media networks we tune into on any given
day, most of us feel more alone now than ever before. What
sorts of connections are we making that fulfill a deeper
need, that set our souls on fire?

I encourage you to seek out genuine connection. However


commercialized, the holidays offer us the perfect
opportunity to tune into our deepest desires, reconnect with
ourselves, and create authentic connections with others.

continued on next page

The FUN ISSU E | 91


Now, more than ever, let’s get connected. Let’s get together to laugh and
reminisce; to share cards and warm greetings; to go for a walk—even in the Anung V is a designer and photographer, and
snow and cold. Let’s break bread with our friends and family and gather the Evil Mastermind of Courageous Creativity.
She hosts the Kicking and Screaming Podcast:
around the fireplace to discuss a good book.
a place for introverts and homebodies to get
out of their heads and have more adventure,
Establishing these types of connections is a continuous process: a goal we and designs quirky apparel that goes from
can work toward for the rest of our lives. If we put in the effort necessary, couch to lunch. Connect with her on Instagram
@courageous_creativity, or on Pinterest
if we advocate for ourselves and show up authentically and in real life, then
@couragecreate.
we will find others who love us just as we are.
Photos by Lauren, laurenalexandriaphoto.com
When you show others who you really are, they’ll return the favor by
wrapping you up in love and support.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LIVE

B E AU T H E N T I C , S TAY CO N N E C T E D, U N L E A S H F U N

About the Artist


This month’s featured art is a collaboration between one of our
favorite artists, Meghan Shah of Studio Strata, and our Managing
Editor, Lee Lee. The energetic pattern + encouraging words go
together like…well, like best friends!

@StudioStrata

Purchase your own copy of this print at our online marketplace!


The FUN ISSU E | 93
@EJ.MULHALL.EM @JIVEJUNCTION1940 @UPSTYLE.CO

@DILO922 @NICDDKPHOTO @MARKIELYNNE

@SOY0NCE @KHILL2973 @WORDSBYLEELEE

# BFF

What’s a world without any connection? Connection to each other is what makes the world go
‘round and creates the bonds we gratefully rely upon. These connections are created with a little
dash of fun! In every friendship exists that little bit of fun that bonded the souls together. Show
us your connections by sharing a picture of you and your best friend doing something fun!

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
FEBRU A RY MA N T RA

It is through simplicity
that I magnetize soulful
connections to me with ease.

M A N T R A by K R Y S T A L B R A N D T
P H O T O by @ B E L A T H E E
Unleash
Connection

P H O T O by @ B E L A T H E E