"The horror show" Pt.

II (title subject to change) By Jacob Hoefer

Inspired by all Horror films ever made.

2010 Lost Salamander Productions LTD.

jacob.hoefer@Gmail.com

EXT. HIGHWAY- DAY The comic book pannel pulls a Pinocchio and becomes a real scene. The car speeds down the long and empty highway. we decide to see whats in the car and join the passengers on their ill fated journey. INT. CAR There are six passengers: First we have JOHNNY. He sports a thin, dark blue windbreaker, a plain white t-shirt and some tight fitting blue jeans. He is driving with one hand and using the other to hold on to his favorite passenger DANNA. Danna is crammed up in the front three seats in the middle next to Johnny. She is sporting a gray and red turtle neck, and a dark blue and red over coat draped over her shoulders. Her long, perfectly straight, brown hair is held back by a red plastic headband. Sitting next to her is the lovable MAX who sports a bright yellow windbreaker, white tee shirt, and a backwards baseball cap. He holds his beer out the window and has a slouched posture. In the back seat we have our color characters. First, sitting behind Johnny, we have CHRIS. Chris is a clean shaven African American teen. He has a shaved head and sports a UofM "Golden Gophers" hoody. He is completely focused on his arm candy EMILY. Emily is clinging on and flirting with Chris. She has a pink hoody with the hood up hiding her thick black hair. She is wearing a couple of rings with smallish blue stones in them. Next to her is the adorable DANIEL. Long time friend of Danna and short time admirer of Johnny, he sports a white and pink stripped polo and his dirty blond hair is combed back into a weird greasy fifties thing. The pals are very excited for there flawless plan to drive straight to Johnny’s uncle’s cabin in the woods in northern Minnesota. Sounds like a safe enough plan. Well just end the movie here. INT. CAR Just kidding. We join our new best friends in the car. MAX "Alright Portia De Rossi and......Sam Neill." No one else is paying attention. Johnny is half driving half "Eskimo kissing" with Danna and Emily and Chris are enjoying the privacy of the backseat. Daniel is bored and looks quite disgusted with the surrounding PDA. Max on the other hand could care less as he is more involved in letting the breeze blow by his face. Amazingly his cap still stays on. He slurps his beer.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

MAX (looking around at the PDA) "what no one? God...ya know not all of us have our own personal make out buddy." DANIEL "Amen. I can’t breath back here with all the hormones floating around." EMILY "Oh shut up Danny you can just give Max the reach around." Max suddenly looks back. Chris cracks up, as do Danna and Johnny. Daniel takes the joke in stride. This is not the first time Emily has suggested that he and Max get together. DANIEL "Please, I’m gay, not desperate." MAX "I still don’t know why you have never hit on me....I mean not that I would enjoy it its just ya know.." Everyone in the car is giving him a raised eyebrow half smile look waiting his answer. MAX "Awwww fuck it you guys set me up for that." They all laugh a little and get on with their drive. Max pipes up after a few seconds to try and make everyone forget the dent to his sexuality he just created. MAX "Okay back down to business, remember win six degrees you eat free at the next stop. As the winner last time I submit to you a one miss Portia De Rossi aka Lindsey Bluth and a one Mr. Sam Neil aka the great doctor Alan Grant." He looks back at his friends only to see that they have completely ignored him and have gone back to making out.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

MAX (mumbled through another few swigs of beer) "Jesus fuckin-....you guys are fuckin unbeliv-...." Daniel looks again at the displays of disinterest in the game. Finally he throws his hands up and spews this mouthful. DANIEL "Fine. I’ll humor you. Portia De Rossi was in dead and breakfast with David Carradine who was in Absolute Evil, The final exit, with Carolyn Neff, who was in Spider-man three with, vomit, Topher Grace, who was in Predators with Laurence Fishburne, who was in Event horizon with...the good Dr. William Wier better known as Sam Neil." No one is impressed.Chris chips into the conversation. CHRIS "Jesus man, you are officially a walking IMDB." DANIEL "Look while the rest of you were chasing girls I got stuck alone, surfing chat rooms trying to find a guy who liked me for me and WASN’T a child molester. A bunch of pop culture knowledge was a good way to weed out the old people." JOHNNY "Ether way he’s in the lead and we’re coming up on the last town for a long time. We’re stopping, absorbing local color and gasin’ up. Which means Danny eats for free this time." Again no one seems to care not even Daniel or Max. The car rockets down the empty highway. We pan up and see a worn out sign that says "Cross Lake Tower 36 Miles."

4.

EXT. GAS STATION - SUNSET. We pan across an old rusty gas pump. The price is slowly climbing. We slowly zoom out and see the top of the car hazily come into view before our field of vision a six pack of beer is slammed into frame. Max is the purchaser of such fine liquors. He wastes no time in sampling his newly purchased thirst quenchers. Chris is sitting on the trunk lid with Emily still attached to his arms. Daniel is leaning up against the gas pump smoking. Max cracks his beer open and hops on the hood turning his attention toward Daniel. MAX "Dude, not healthy." Daniel looks over and tilts his head slightly. DANIEL "What?" MAX "Smoking next to the gas pump. I would like to get to the cabin in one piece." DANIEL "Oh I’d be more worried if I were smoking next to you." MAX (After a pause to swallow his beer) "What?" DANIEL "You got more alcohol content than this tin can here." MAX (another swig) "Again, What?" DANIEL "You’ve been drinking ever since this trip started. Also this place is out of gas." He points to the counter on the pump. we look and see that it has stopped counting at only 2.83 gallons. MAX (uninterested) "Uh-huh." (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

He is looking at Emily and Chris who are giggling and being all sorts of flirty with each other. Daniel notices his fascination with their playful nose touching. DANIEL "Why did you ever fall for her?" MAX "Fall for who? Chris? Nah my type...Tooooo....whats word?...Smooth...He’s got skin, I like my men rough Like leather an-" he’s not the like baby and worn.

DANIEL "Oh you’re fuckin’ hilarious you know that? But alright, fine, bring up my sexuality in place of talking about your sick clingy issues. I’m going to go get Johnny tell him not to worry about driving the next leg of the trip." Max has not really heard a word of anything said he just sits on the hood and watches Chris and Emily. Daniel snatches a beer and walks off stamping out his cigarette on his way into the store. We take another look at the bubbly couple and then look back at Max. He sighs and takes another huge gulp of beer. We join Danny boy in his hunt for Johnny. INT. GAS STATION - SUNSET Daniel strides into the store to find Johnny and Danna arguing with the clerk at the counter. The Clerk is scruffy and dirty and just overall hillbillyish. We jump in mid conversation. JOHNNY "So you’re completely out of gas." CLERK "Yep. Not a drop left." DANNA "This is ridiculous what are we supposed to do?!" CLERK "Well I don’t know you young folks could stay here until the gas truck gets here."

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

DANNA "Which will be...?!" CLERK "Ohhh.. I dunno maybe Tuesday." Daniel takes a break form sipping beer and browsing the old sports mags on the rack and makes an observation. DANIEL "Tuesday?! That’s four days from now!" CLERK "Well that’s just when it gets here. No one really stops by, I only usually have to order it once a month." DANNA "This is insane!" JOHNNY "Calm down Danna, we’ll just stick it out in a local cabin or something. Sir do you know of a place we can stay? At least until we find a way to get some gas or something." CLERK "Well I do know of one place. I don’t know if its still open though." DANIEL (pushing his way to the front of the counter) "Perfect, great, awesome, where?" CLERK "About Twenty minuets form here. Place called Cross lake tower. Owned by some rich jerk. He comes down here every once and while claiming that he had big important mettins down in the twin cities. Always askin me to send travelers to his place. Or at least he used to. Haven’t seen him in, oh, I’d say about ten years. But his place is still there you can spot teh sins from the highway. Now I’ve (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.

CLERK (cont’d) never been myself but it sounds like a shit hole if you ask me." DANIEL (half mumbled) "Can’t be any worse than this place." DANNA "Whatever, thanks....Lets go Johnny." Danna starts to leave and Daniel fallows. Johnny looks at Dana and takes one step toward the door, then quickly turns back to the Clerk. He is still a gentlemen after all. JOHNNY "Uhhhh....Here." He quickly throws some money on the table. JOHNNY "uhh...Keep the change...uhhh...Thanks, and sorry about her, she uh, gets angry with the driving, and the car really doesn’t have air conditioning, uhhh, yeah, thanks..." He quickly walks out the door chasing down Danna. We join the gang outside the station. Danna and Daniel are already informing the gang of the plan when Johnny and us catch up to them. DANNA "...And so now we have to drive up to some bullshit town to some bullshit motel that might not even be open." EMILY "Yeah but for rooms, like whats the plan there?" MAX (hopping off the hood) "Mmmmm I got it. One room one giant bed, group sex party. It’ll be great. Everyone wins, especially Danny."

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

DANIEL "I’m gay, NOT that kinky. I can’t belive I’m explaining this to you AGAIN." Max shrugs and goes on drinking, Chris chuckles, emily is not amused and scowels in the direction of Max. Johnny, being the responsible one, gets everyone back on track. JOHNNY "Max shutup, we’ll just pick our roomates when we get there, splitting the cost with our roomies. Sound good?" MAX "Ohohohoh can I room with you?! You owe me like a dozen sleep overs." JOHNNY "Max, I was eight, I lost a bet we’ve moved on." Johnny looks up at the sky, pulls out his keys and heads for the car. JOHNNY "Anyway, lets get moving. Everyone grab a beer except Max." Max looks like he is about to object when Johnny snatches his beer from his hand and opens the door as the gang piles in. EXT. HIGHWAY- NIGHT The car speeds down the highway and we join them again in the cab of the auto mobile. INT. CAR All of our passengers are asleep except Danna and Johnny. Danna is snuggling close to Johnny and Johnny returns the affection with his free hand in the form of a classic boy friend hug. Danna is enjoying herself a lot. DANNA "So johnny looking forward to our private night in our fabulously shitty small town motel room?"

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

9.

JOHNNY "Ohh you know it." He gives her a smooch on the top of her head. And she snuggles closer to him. JOHNNY "Have you ever been up to the cabin before?" DANNA "No. Why?" JOHNNY "Well I don’t want you to get to excited I mean it’s kind of cramped and...well the walls are thin and the rooms are small and close together" DANNA "Why do you mention the paper thin walls?" JOHNNY "Just something that I noticed one...summer...when I went there way back...with my parents...for their anniversary.." Danna starts to laugh as does Johnny but they start to quiet themselves as to try and not wake their friends. Johnny leans in for a kiss as the laughter dies down. They slowly move in for a kiss and the camera starts to frame it so it starts to look like the vase or two faces thing. They get closer and closer and finally...CRASH! SMASH! And SCREEEECCCHHHH! They just hit someone...Their guests wake up in a version of "I know what you did last summer". But not the one with the Buffy the vampire slayer.

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