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Sometimes parents treat their children in a loving way, speak kindly to them, offer shelter and protection or take care of them in other ways. All this is coming from the nurturing parent Ego State. It helps children grow. At other times parents criticize, make rules, give commands or punish their children. Since the main objective of these behaviors is to control the child, they are known to be coming from controlling parent ego state. Because children repeatedly see parents be having in these two major ways and they unconsciously copy these behaviors, their parent ego state also develops these two major aspects. We call these two aspects the Nurturing Parent (NP) and the Controlling Parent (CP). The Ego State: In this ego state the person acts like a mature adult. In the adult ego state people attack problems in a ³cool-headed,´ rational manner. They gather relevant information, carefully analyze it, generate alternatives, and make logical choices. In the adult state people do not act impulsively or in a domineering way. In dealings with other people, fairness and objectivity characterize the adult Ego State. Thus adult Ego State is that part of the human personality that makes him take decisions on the basis of facts, data and analysis of these facts and data. As a result we want all executives to be high on adult Ego State. Because it is only when they are high on adult Ego State that their decisions will be more objective and considered.
The Child Ego State:
Just as the parent Ego State has different aspects, so does the child, Ego State. They are Natural Child; Little professor also known as creative child and Adaptive child. The Natural Child is spontaneous, energetic, curious, loving uninhabited. It¶s that part of us that feels free and loves pleasures. When we are in our Natural Child, we transact freely and openly with others. The Natural Child is the Ego State we came into the world with as a newborn baby. It¶s what comes naturally. A person high on natural child is extrovert. He likes to make friends. He makes a success when put in charge of the work involving contracts or the dealings with the public. The Natural Child is not entirely without fault, however, It can be self centered, impatient and greedy Behaviors associated with these feelings are also typical of the Adaptive Child. As a child we probably learned to adapt in different ways. For example, sometimes we may have done what we were told; at other times we may have sulked or avoided the situation (by withdrawing or procrastinating). As a grown up, we may still occasionally react the same way to a project deadline. From their Adapted Child, people often react to external demand by; complying; sulking, or creating unnecessary stress for them. It is the Adaptive Child that may; Try to please everyone in department; Turn back on people with problems; or Procrastinate by putting off work until the deadline passes. These actions can stand in the way of choosing success. Transactions between ego states: One thing must be borne in mind that there can never be a standard personality mix. Individuals always oscillate between these ego states depending on the situation. They
but one state may dominate the other two. think of a coaching conversation as a series of transactions. The strong implication is. To better understand this. The transactions between ego states are at the heart of TA and can be classified into the following. Introspection. Complementary Trasactions: Crossed Transactions: Ulterior Transactions: Strokes and ganes in TA: The Games People Play: A key determinate of your effectiveness as a coach depends on your ability to create a climate that promotes personal rapport and open dialogue. of course. where one party . This is what is known as putting the Adult as the Executive of the personality. More important than the Ego State per se is how one Ego State matches or conflicts with another Ego State in interpersonal interaction the transaction. However. We always change ourselves to suit the situational requirements. the T A authors generally stress that all three ego states are necessary for to a healthy personality. Although we know that people generally exhibit all three Ego States. This is accomplished primarily through the style of your communication with the other person. is that the adult state is far superior to the child or parent state. at least for effective interpersonal relations. and putting the Adult in charge of the personality and deciding the behavioral requirements of the situation can do this.confront.
it's going to limit your effectiveness. A child ego state communication is spontaneous. but that's not the point. and type of statements used in a conversation reflect what is referred to in psychology as an ego state. but every time I do she gets defensive and we just end up arguing." New Physician: "Yeah. why haven't you tried talking to her about it?" New Physician: "I have. There are three ego states out of which you can communicate: 1." direct or implied threats. the use of "shoulds. The coach clearly is communicating in a way that suggests a superior/subordinate relationship. An adult ego state 3. New Physician: "I don't think Mary is being very cooperative. and you've got to be the one to take the first step and lead the way." New Physician: "I have and it hasn't worked. It contains statements that are exploratory without being judgmental. and often fun-loving." Physician Coach: "You need to be more patient with her. The attitude. I don't know what to do. I keep asking her to do some things differently on the front desk and she just refuses to cooperate. An adult ego state conveys an attitude of power equalization and collegiality. It is a mindset that reflects spontaneity of feelings and behaviors." Notice the tone of these transactions. or deference and compliance. tone." Physician Coach: "Well. solution-oriented but in a collaborative way. If you can't. . emotional. If you're going to be successful here. uninhibited. Notice the nature of the transactions contained in the following conversation: Situation: A physician new to the practice is having difficulty in working with the office administrator and is looking for advice from a senior colleague." Physician Coach: "Then you've just got to be more persistent. A child ego state Each one has its uses and is appropriate for different situations: A parent ego state is characterized by an "I know better" attitude. you've got to be able to handle situations like this. It contains absolute statements. A parent ego state 2. The point is that you're the physician. and a parental tone of voice and non-verbal behavior." Physician Coach: "I agree.speaks and the other responds. indications of criticism. and a tone that is emotionally neutral and promotes non-defensiveness. but she needs to cooperate as well.
Managing the music of your conversation sets the tone for an adult-to-adult interaction. manage the words to the song by following these three simple rules: * Separate facts from opinions. I keep asking her to do some things differently on the front desk and she just refuses to cooperate. Second. Better to say "In my opinion that idea won't work. I don't know what to do.g. Do you sound like a parent when you talk? Think of a conversation as a song that contains both words and music." * Own your own feelings." Physician Coach: "What have you tried so far?" ." absolute statements. Learning to communicate out of an adult ego state in these types of conversations is a critical competency. how would the conversation between the coach and the new physician have sounded differently? New Physician: "I don't think Mary is being very cooperative."--a directive with an "I know better" attitude. * Think and speak in terms of preferences rather than "shoulds.. If you're going to be successful here. * "Then you've just got to be more persistent. and implied warnings. the coach has unintentionally reduced his effectiveness through the use of a parent ego state style of communication. Listen to yourself." The first statement assigns blame for your feelings to the other person (indicative of a parent ego state). how do you do it? Adult-to-adult communication begins with a conscious effort to manage your tone-of-voice and body language so that they are devoid of judgment and implied superiority. why haven't you tried talking to her about it?"--implied criticism (you should have if you haven't already). delivered in a lecturing tone. e. you've got to be able to handle situations like this. Although well-meaning. Stating an opinion as a fact is what parents do. while the second is simply a legitimate description of your reaction. "You disappointed me when I didn't get the information on time" is more accusatory than "I felt disappointed when I didn't get the information on time. Describe your reaction to situations rather than blaming others for your feelings. it's going to limit your effectiveness." ("Shoulding" is characteristic of the parent ego state) Using these rules and an adult ego state. In the above example." --the use of "should. For example. the coach clearly is communicating out of a parent ego state as illustrated by his statements: * "Well. "That idea won't work" is an opinion stated as if it were an objective fact. * "You need to be more patient with her." "You should show more restraint in expressing your opinions" is a more judgmental than "I would prefer that you show more restraint in expressing more opinions. So.[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] In order to build rapport and open dialogue in a coaching conversation it is imperative that you communicate out of an adult ego state. If you can't.
New Physician: "I've tried giving her the benefit of the doubt. Self-awareness is crucial to any leader's success. particularly when the subject matter is emotionally charged. is a clinical professor of organizational behavior and founding director of the executive coaching program at the University of Texas at Dallas School of Management robert. And I would prefer that as a physician you take the first step because I think it will lead the way. they can help us in our performance and sometimes hinder us. The Controlling Parent Ego state is the one in which the parent criticizes. Adult Ego state. and the three alternate within a person. It is truly a more collegial." Physician Coach: "Well." Physician Coach: "Have you thought that it may be just a matter of being more patient with her? What I've found in my experience is that learning to handle situations like this is very important to being effective with the office staff. These states always exist separately and cannot merge. Adult Ego State . and may further be divided into Nurturing Parent Ego state and Controlling Parent Ego state." New Physician: "Yes. Admittedly. it is not always easy to do. disciplines and even punishes the child. Robert Hicks. These two ego states switch back and forth within us." New Physician: "I have and it hasn't worked." Physician Coach: "I agree.edu The three ego states are the Parent Ego state. Parent Ego State This ego state may represent the mindset of a parent. and one that is more likely to get the new physician to stop and consider what his colleague is encouraging him to do. feeds and takes care of their children. it may be just a matter of being more persistent. and the Child Ego state. As a coach-leader. but it is nevertheless an essential condition for inducing change in the other person. The Nurturing Parent Ego state is the one in which a parent protects. adult-to-adult conversation. What do you think?" Notice the different tone the conversation takes when the coach communicates out of the adult ego state. but she needs to cooperate as well. These ego states can firmly control our behaviour and developed when we watched our parents when we were children. being aware of your communication style and staying in the adult ego state during a coaching conversation will help create a climate conducive to listening and mutual problem-solving. PhD.hicks@utdallas.
" the preconscious life plan that governs the way life is lived out. impatient and selfish. a sixth sense. disagree and offer our opinions. eg. and it enables us to carry out experiments of our own. Little Professor/Creative Child/Adaptive Child Ego state makes us creative and inquisitive. We learnt this behavior when we learnt to change our according to our environment. friendly. and offering reasonable explanations for your decisions. Nevertheless. spontaneous. Changing the life script is the aim of transactional analysis psychotherapy. agree. It makes us wonder at how everything works. loving. This state enables us to be curious. Child Ego State This state is further divided into Natural Child Ego state and Little Professor/Creative Child Ego state. The Natural Child Ego state is the original ego state in which we are born. and energetic. This involves analyzing the problem and coming up with a solution using wise logical choices. Such decisions culminate in what Berne called the "life script. and the Adaptive Child Ego state. Using the adult ego state to come up with a solution may involve careful analysis of the data and making decisions based on solid facts. it may also make us greedy. These qualities make us more compliant within a group where we learn to listen. anxiety. Life Script Eric Berne proposed that dysfunctional behavior is the result of self-limiting decisions made in childhood in the interest of survival. KEY IDEAS OF TA Ego States . and learnt behavior like guilt. and depression. as the name suggests.This ego state is about making decisions as an adult. envy. Replacing violent organizational or societal scripting with cooperative non-violent behavior is the aim of other applications of transactional analysis. be sensitive and be more courteous. results from us adapting to environmental change. we begin and learn to socialize. The Adaptive Child ego state.. Furthermore. It is a philosophical state that reasons based on thought without any tangible proof.
a) Parent: This is our ingrained voice of authority. where and when.Eric Berne made complex interpersonal transactions understandable when he recognized that the human personality is made up of three "ego states". This is the seeing. in what way. idiot. comparative expressions. words to impress. fool. hearing. When anger or despair dominates reason. Physical . Physical . despair. conditioned us. devious transactions are intended to obtain strokes but instead they reinforce negative feelings and self-concepts. things never go right for me. older people. best. staring. Verbal . ought.pointing the finger. I want. Yes But. learning and attitudes from when we were young. whining voice. Life Script ." Berne's book Games People Play achieved wide popular success in the early 60's. in my opinion. excellent. next-door neighbours. I realize. hug. teachers. and behavior from which we interact with each other. I don't care. feeling.why. Adult and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the foundation of transactional analysis theory. education. true. I believe. to survive and thrive. Berne tagged these games with such instantly recognizable names as "Why Don't You. 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said). You SOB.attentive. laughter. dear kid. not again. must. I'm going to. oh no. bigger. shrugging shoulders. absorbed conditioning. I see. These concepts have spread into many areas of therapy. raising hand to speak. but for a balanced approach to life. Adult to Adult is generally recommended. Father Christmas and Jack Frost." These repetitive. feeling. squirming and giggling. worst day of my life. keep it up. Physical . how much. always.baby talk. who. heavy strides. straightforward. Verbal . well done. delight. and consulting as practiced today. tilted head." "Now I've Got You. speaking behind hand. each of which is an entire system of thought." and "I'm Only Trying to Help You. Strokes Berne observed that people need strokes. temper tantrums. sarcastic. the Child is in control. non-threatening and non-threatened. or by having temper tantrums. probably. how. I wish. possibly. and mask the direct expression of thoughts and emotions. To analyze a transaction you need to see and feel what is being said as well. aunts and uncles. Our real parents. and emotional body of data within each of us. The Parent. (Child to Parent). b) Adult: Our 'Adult' is our ability to think and determine action for ourselves. frowning. Verbal . There is no general rule as to the effectiveness of any ego state in any given situation (some people get results by being dictatorial (Parent to Child). many superlatives. biggest. In other words: Parent is our 'Taught' concept of life Adult is our 'Thought' concept of life Child is our 'Felt' concept of life Transactions Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between people. based on received data. reasoned statements. c) Child: Our internal reaction and feelings to external events form the 'Child'. what. Transactional analysts are trained to recognize which ego states people are transacting from and to follow the transactional sequences so they can intervene and improve the quality and effectiveness of communication.Should. interested. false. teasing. rolling eyes. I don't know. the units of interpersonal recognition. Only 7% of meaning is in the words spoken.emotionally sad expressions. Understandings how people give and receive positive and negative strokes and changing unhealthy patterns of stroking are powerful aspects of work in transactional analysis. Games People Play Berne defined certain socially dysfunctional behavioral patterns as "games. I think. hip on the back.
counselors establish an egalitarian. ranging from psychodynamic to cognitive behavioral methods in effective and potent ways. an integration of his own theological. Parent and Adult ego states. theory. or consultant.You're OK "I'm OK . protective.You're OK" is probably the best-known expression of the purpose of transactional analysis: to establish and reinforce the position that recognizes the value and worth of every person." the pre-conscious life plan that governs the way life is lived out. After Dr. Transactional analysis is beneficially utilized in psychotherapy. I'm OK . Transactional analysts intervene as they work with clients in a safe. Contracts Transactional analysis practice is based upon mutual contracting for change. Eric Berne's death in 1970. ICTA conducts . whether at elementary or post-graduate levels. This working relationship provides tools clients can utilize in their day-to-day functions to improve the quality of their lives. urban as well as rural. ICTA is putting efforts to indigenise TA and make it more suitable to Indian requirements. Founder director of ICTA Fr. emotions and thoughts that prevent the development of full human potential.A. Organizational Transactional Analysis is a powerful tool in the hands of organizational development specialists. mutually respectful-OK/OK--. which is his brainchild. Through presenting the basic concepts of transactional analysis and using it as the basic theory to under gird the objectives of their clients. Using transactional analysis.A. Educational Educators who work with transactional analysis teach the simple concepts of basic transactional analysis to empower and enable students by providing them with concepts and tools to understand themselves and each other. Students. Changing the life script is the aim of transactional analysis psychotherapy. T. philosophical and psychological experiences. Such decisions culminate in what Berne called the "life script. his associates and disciples have further developed T. Replacing violent organizational or societal scripting with cooperative non-violent behavior is the aim of other applications of transactional analysis. organizational and educational fields. Psychotherapy Transactional analysis is a powerful tool to bring about human well being. counselling. Counseling work focuses on creating productive problem solving behaviors. safe and mutually respectful working relationship with their clients. George Kandathil has recently developed a new theory called Triology. transactional analysis utilizes a contract for specific changes desired by the client and involves the "Adult" in both the client and the clinician to sort out behaviors.environment to eliminate dysfunctional behaviors and establish and reinforce positive relationship styles and healthy functioning. educators work to create a common understanding of personality and functioning that reaches across all fields of learning and unifies the educational experience. By using the basic theory of transactional analysis. has now gained international recognition as a scientific approach and is used for personal change and for greater effectiveness in professional life. educator. Accordingly transactional analysis does its work on a contractual basis between the client and the therapist. In psychotherapy.Eric Berne proposed that dysfunctional behavior is the result of self-limiting decisions made in childhood in the interest of survival. Counseling Counselors who utilize transactional analysis work contractually on solving "here and now" problems. and healthy interactions. learn more effective methods of interaction and mutual recognition. growth. Transactional analysts view people as capable of deciding what they want for their lives. as well as eliminate dysfunctional organizational behaviors. Transactional analysts regard people as basically "OK" and thus capable of change. organizational development specialists build a common strategy with which to address the particular needs of organizations and to build a functional relationship. Transactional analysts are able to use the many tools of psychotherapy. Triology lays stress on pleasant aspects of the Child.
examining and certifying TA professionals. .study circles/groups in major Indian cities maintaining international standards for training.