Louisville’s Fairness

Campaign has expressed
concern to law enforcement
offcials, including the FBI,
following the burglary and
extensive vandalism of two
homes owned by gay couples.
The two crime scenes are located in the Germantown
neighborhood. The crimes took place within approximately
one week of each other this past month.
Chris Hartman, Director of the Fairness Campaign,
stated that the crimes that took place at the two homes were
“clearly motivated by prejudicial hate against homosexual
couples.” Hartman pledged to “work with (Louisville
Metro) Police Chief Robert White and the FBI to bring
these criminals to justice and set a lasting precedent for
any individuals considering future illegal acts motivated
by prejudice and hate in our community."
Harman said that “Louisville is a city of proven
acceptance and inclusiveness, and we will not tolerate
prejudice, discrimination, or crimes of hate within our
community.” In addition to Louisville’s Fairness ordinance
that prohibits discrimination in employment, housing, and
public accommodations on the basis of sexual orientation
and gender identity, the city has had an inclusive hate
crimes law since 1990.
In addition to the local hate crime ordinance,
perpetrators of the recent crimes could also face charges
thanks to the historic Matthew Shepard and James Byrd,
Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act that was signed into law by
President Obama last October.
As of press time no witnesses have come forward
to identify individuals believed to have committed the
recent crimes. However according to a report posted on
the WLKY-TV website, a “red, full-sized pickup truck with
plastic covering the back window” was seen by a neighbor
around the time the frst burglary is believed to have taken
Information regarding the identity of the individuals
who committed these crimes should be reported to
Louisville Metro Police by calling their anonymous police
tip line at (502) 574-5673.
Billy Lucas, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Tyler
Clementi, Raymond Chase and Caleb Nolt. All six of
these openly gay youth have one thing in common:
they were victims of vicious anti-gay bullying
immediately prior to taking their life.
A Fort Wayne, Indiana teenager, Caleb Nolt, has
been identifed as the sixth gay youth in the US to
commit suicide within the brief span of three weeks.
As of press time few details of Not’s suicide were
known. However some of his high school classmates
have told to police that he had been bullied for being
gay by classmates just before his death.
The suicide of 19 year old Raymond Chase, an
openly gay student at a prestigious Rhode Island
university, was the ffth suicide by a gay teenager
that took place during the same period in September.
Police reports indicate that Chase, a Culinary Arts
major, apparently hung himself in his dorm room at
Johnson & Wales University.
Has the incidence of gay teen suicide caused by
anti-gay bullying reached the point that it deserves to
be referred to as an “epidemic? Some pundits believe this problem isn’t any worse than t was for
previous generations of gay youth. The only difference is that the mainstream media have only
recently begun to more consistently give the problem the attention it deserves.
To add insult to injury in the wake of the recent string of gay youth suicides, late last month
the Rap artist known as "50 Cents" sent out a message to his followers through his Twitter.com feed
that stated, "Any man over the age of 25 that hasn't eaten pussy should just kill himself." While
the performer denies his comments were anti-gay, the timing of them certainly shows extreme
Regarding the problem of anti-gay bullying and suicide among queer youth, the following
statistics illustrate the widespread nature of these problems. These fgures appear on the Lambda.
org website.
• 45% of gay males and 20% of lesbians report having experienced verbal harassment and/or
physical violence as a result of their sexual orientation during high school.
• 42% of adolescent lesbians and 34% of adolescent gay males who have suffered physical attack
also attempt suicide.
• 20% of gay youth skip school at least once a month due to feeling unsafe while there.
• 19% of gay/lesbian youth report suffering physical attacks based on their sexual orientation.
T h e R e s p e c T e d s o u R c e f o R G L B T N e w s s i N c e J u N e 1 9 9 0
www.TheLeTTeRoNLiNe.com VOLUME 21, ISSUE 10 • OctObEr 2010
Louisville Hate Crimes
Remain Under Investigation
Indiana Youth’s Death Marks 6th Suicide
Within 3 Weeks Linked To Anti-Gay Bullying
by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor
See Kentuckiana Agencies Respond
To Bullying, Suicide Crisis on page 18
REIMAX 100, Inc.
Voice: (502) 635-5936
FAX: (502) 637-8483
Licensed in Kentucky and Indiana.
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October 2 Belle Oktoberfest Sightseeing
12-3pm, Boarding 11:30am
October 9 Oktoberfest Lunch/Sightseeing
12-3pm, Boarding 11:30am
Spirit of Jeerson
October 16,23 Belle Oktoberfest Sightseeing
12-3pm, Boarding 11:30am
October 17 Belle 96th Birthday Cruise
2-4pm, Boarding 1:30pm
October 30 Belle Boo Sightseeing Cruise
12-2pm, Boarding 11:30am
502.574.2992 www.belleoflouisville.org 1.866.832.0011
Birthday and Halloween decorations provided by
Caufields and Ah,Whatta ‘Bout Mimi!
Cupcakes,candy and prizes
provided by Valu Market
DĠ ĪĠĦ ĨĒĜĖ Ħġ ĤĥĚėė Ěğ ĥęĖ ĞĠģğĚğĘ:
ĞĒĪēĖ ĨĖ ĔĒğ ęĖĝġ.
Dģ. CęĒģĝĖĤ E. CĠġĖĝĒğĕ, DC


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She bested her competitors in the 200
meter freestyle swimming competition.
Then she won the 400, 800 and 1500
meter freestyles and the 50 breaststroke.
By the end of this summer's Gay Games
VIII in Cologne, Germany, she'd racked
up fve gold medals. Never mind she
had only four other competitors in her
age class. At 65, she may be Louisville's
oldest active competitive athlete.
Not bad for a woman who had to
have her left kneecap replaced less
than two years ago.
It's not Vicki Catlin's frst time at
the Gay Games. In New York in 1994
she brought home one medal. Twelve
years later in Chicago, age (60) 61, she
captured seven. All 13 medals, along
with other memorabilia, are now
displayed proudly in the dining room
of a comfortable home in a Louisville
suburb she shares with her partner of
almost 30 years.
Catlin got her enthusiasm for the
sport from her father, a swimming
coach in Seymour, Indiana, where she
was born. While still in a bassinet, her
family brought her to swimming pools
while her father worked. Age four, she
competed in a race for the frst time and
has been splashing around ever since.
"I can't see myself slowing down,"
Catlin says with bubbly enthusiasm.
"I'm not the type to sit in front of the
TV all day. I've always got to be doing
Today, her life includes part-time
teaching; swimming three and a half
miles a week; lifting weights and
stretching; and tending to the needs
of an extended family that includes
sharing her partner's two children
from a previous marriage: a gay son
who lives with his partner of almost
20 years in Lexington, and a daughter.
The couple now has two growing
grandsons to fuss over as well.
Out at work, out to her neighbors,
she's living the American dream in a
fun, quirky way.
"I think the next door neighbors were
actually relieved when we moved in,"
she smiles. "The previous residents
were a little too rowdy."
Catlin loved Cologne, which has
the reputation of being Germany's
LGBT capital. Though the language
barrier was a problem, she refused
to hang out just with Americans but
sought athletes from around the
globe. The city of Cologne set up two
large plazas that served as athletic
villages of sorts, allowing the 10,000+
participants to wind down and mingle
after hours. She says her interactions
with non-American athletes were more
memorable than if she'd stuck with her
own countrymen and women.
"I met one woman who wasn't in the
Games but came to visit with her lover
and mother. As it turns out, she'd been
an Olympian athlete in Los Angeles in
1984. It was fascinating to listen to her
open up about her experiences there."
Now, she's looking forward to
the 2014 games, which will be held in
Cleveland. She'll be 68. After that?
"Who knows? I'm going to keep on
swimming for as long as my body tells
me I can."
Newport Man Wins Gold in Cologne
Robb Dorward, of Newport,
Kentucky recently took home a Gold
Medal at the Gay Games VIII. Held n
Cologne Germany, the event took place
July 31 - August 7 and attracted over
9000 athletes from 69 countries.
Dorward, along with his bowling
partner, Lloyd Jones of London
England, won the Gold Medal in
Doubles Bowling, C Division. Second
place went to a team from Washington
DC and the bronze was won by a team
from Perth, Australia. Robb and Lloyd
also bowled together in the 2006 Gay
Games in Chicago.
Back in Kentucky, Dorward bowls
with the his local gay bowling league t
Bellwood Lanes in Bellevue.
Robb's partner, David Wolff,
competed in the 26.2 mile marathon.
David fnished in 4 hours and 14
Lloyd Jones of London, England and
Robb Dorward of Newport, Kentucky
(on the right) display Gold Medals
they earned at Gay Games VIII.
Congregation Hosts Halloween Dance
Metropolitan Community Church Louisville will host its annual
Halloween Dance on Saturday, October 30, beginning at from 7:00pm.
This is a family-friendly event, so both adults and children are welcome.
There evening will include costume contests, children's activities, door
prizes and, of course, dancing.
Costumes are not required.
There will be a $5.00 charge at the door. Snacks will be available for an
additional donation.
MCC – Louisville is located at 1432 Highland Avenue.
Local Athletes Big Winners At Gay Games VIII
by David Williams & Dave VanderPol
Vicki Catlin is picture with her
beloved dog, Flyer.
Effciency Apartment. Furnished. Camera-secure parking pad included. Rented by
the week; $40.00 per night. Sleeps a maximum of two persons. Located in the Highlands,
near the intersection of Baxter Avenue & Bardstown Road. Within walking distance to
many popular restaurants and bars. For more information call (502) 510-5457.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The tragic
story of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers
University student who was a victim
of webcam voyeurism, prompted
Joshua Plant, a New York-based
public relations professional, to
write this op-ed piece.]
The recent tragic death of Tyler
Clementi, an 18 year-old Rutger’s
University Freshman whose sexual
tryst was broadcast across the Internet
leading to his subsequent suicidal
jump off the George Washington
Bridge, has gay activists and advocates
screaming for a call to action.
This story is not that of one, but
of many. Hazing mainly happens
in school, especially in college,
when many LGBT individuals are
discovering their sexual orientation.
In the case of Clementi, his unspoken
sexuality was exposed twice across
the Internet, which begs the question:
would this have happened if he were
As someone who has been
personally persecuted by people of
the likes of Dharun Ravi, I tend to
think not. Straight people have sex
on TV, in magazines and in movies
everyday; gay sexuality is still not
mainstream. Whether the actions
of the college students were out of
curiosity—or just a sophomoric prank
or bigotry— remains to be answered.
In high schools and colleges
across the nation, kids and young
adults are forced into silence for
fear of retaliation. Unless a person
of authority personally intercepts
malicious behavior unto another
student, silence follows. It takes the
death of someone to instill change
in schools or a community, but these
changes are often short-lived and
wildly ineffective, since teachers and
others are often too passive to defend
the meek.
Now, another person is dead. A
talented and gifted musician died
because of torment inficted over his
sexual orientation. If being gay had
to be personifed from a state of being
into an emotional context, it would be
love. So, in essence these people were
tortured, and in some cases killed,
because they
found the ability
to love. This
isn't a legislative
problem; it is
one of society as
a whole – Blind-
eye syndrome.
How many
more people
need to die before
something is
done? The
M a t t h e w
Shepard Law helps, but it doesn’t do
enough as a preventative measure.
At my high school in Massachusetts,
our Gay-Straight Alliance wrote and
enacted an anti-harassment policy to
reduce the level of violence and hate
speech at the school. This policy was
left practically unenforced until the
death of Phoebe Prince, which lead
to an anti-bullying state law enacted
in her honor. This law was written in
blood, just like the Shepard law.
Politicians, such as Tom Emmer,
the current Republican candidate for
governor in Minnesota — a candidate
fnancially supported by major
corporations such as Target, Best Buy
and 3M — feels that our society does
not need bullying laws. In fact, during
one of his campaign speeches, he said
that if he were elected governor, he
would veto the Safe Schools for All
bill, a bill that includes protection for
students bullied because of sexual
orientation, gender, race, religion and
If LGBT Americans had equal
rights and were not treated as a
minority, heterosexual kids would
grow up thinking of them as their
fellow humans. Not a subhuman
class that should be persecuted,
ridiculed, and tortured because they
love someone of the same sex. This
problem will persist, more people will
die, and more laws will be written in
their blood until we start changing on
a societal level. Gandhi said, “be the
change you want to see in the world,”
start practicing compassion and lets
stop the deaths now!
The Deafening Silence:
In The Closet Of Suicide by Joshua Plant
Tyler Clementi
“How many more gay teens must be bullied into suicide before
Albert Mohler, James Dobson and the rest of the anti-gay religious
right give a damn?”—Dave VanderPol, paraphrasing sentiments
he and others have recently posted on the Internet
Homophobic Megachurch Preacher
Accused Of Gay Sex & Spouse Abuse
An Atlanta-area preacher with a history of opposing gay rights, including
marriage equality, is facing charges from four young men that he coerced them
to have sex.
During worship services on Sunday, September 26, Bishop Eddie Long told
his congregation that he is "under attack" and vowed to fght the allegations
against him. "I feel like David against Goliath," Long said. "But I got fve rocks
and I haven't thrown one yet."
Four men, all in their early 20s, claim that Long used his spiritual authority
to coerce them into sexual relationships. The men claim Long, who preaches
a controversial “prosperity message” that embraces materialism, gave them
gifts of cash, cars and overnight trips. One man, age 22, alleges in a lawsuit
fled last month that Long paid for shopping sprees and tuition in exchange
for having a sexual relationship with him. All of Long’s accusers were of legal
age of consent when they claim that Long approached them for sex.
When long became pastor of New Life Missionary Baptist Church in 1987, the congregation had
300 members. When the church opened their current facility in 2001 that included an auditorium
that can seat 10,000, their membership was reported to be over 25,000.
Long’s ex-wife has some allegations of her own. Since the gay sex scandal erupted in the media,
Dabara Houston has come forward to claim Long was physically abusive to her. Houston and Long
divorced in 1985. Houston told ABC News that Long had a vicious and violent temper. She claims
that Long even beat her while she was pregnant.
Long, who has frequently preached against gay marriage, is currently married to his second
wife. A second marriage? What a great testimony to upholding the “sanctity of (heterosexual)
Eddie Long
Indiana City Expands Fairness
The West Lafayette City Council voted fve to two earlier
this month to insure non-discrimination based on veteran’s
status and gender identity or expression. This update to
the city’s human rights ordinance adds similar protections
that are currently provided on the basis of race, color, sex,
religion, sexual orientation or national origin.
The West Lafayette proposal was sponsored by the bi-
partisan team of Mayor John Dennis (Republican) and
Council President Ann Hunt (Democrat).
With this change, proposed by the West Lafayette Human
Relations Commission, West Lafayette joins Bloomington
and Indianapolis in rejecting discrimination based on gender
identity or expression as well as sexual orientation. Four
other Indiana cities, including Lafayette, plus Tippecanoe
County include sexual orientation in their laws. Executive
orders from Indiana Governors have extended similar
protection to the more than 35,000 state employees for nearly
two decades.
The West Lafayette Human Rights resolution provides
protection for all residents to education, employment, access
to public conveniences and accommodations, and acquisition
through purchase or rental of real property regardless of
race, religion, color, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity
or expression, disability, national origin or ancestry.
3rd Sundays
3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family
& Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran
Church, 417 East Broadway. For more information
call (502) 329-0229 or write pfaglouisville@yahoo.
com . Confdentiality respected.
Every Monday
7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community
Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free.
For movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT
Calendar page at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com.
Every Monday
7:00pm. Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus practice at
Eternal Joy Metropolitan Community Church,
2382 Kennedy Avenue. For more information write
Every Tuesday
2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group
at The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue,
Cincinnati. (513) 241-1411.
6:00 - 8:00pm. Louisville Fairness Campaign
Volunteer Meet-Up at 2263 Frankfort Avenue. For
more information call Kyle (502) 893-0788 or write
6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae
Kwon Do training for GLBT community. Beginners
& experienced welcome. For location write: m_
7:30pm. Women’s Tuesday Night Coming Out Group
at Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati.
(513) 535-2517.
1st & 3rd Thursdays
7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at
Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432
Highland Avenue.
Every 3rd Friday
7:30pm. “Family-Friendly” Coffeehouse at Day’s
Coffee Shop, Bardstown Road at Edenside Avenue in
Louisville. Music and readings, organized by Marie
Davis, cartoonist for THE LETTER.
Wednesdays: October 6 & November 3
7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group, Cincinnati.
(513) 919-4850.
Tuesdays: October 12 & November 9
7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn
Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road. For
more information call (513) 721-7900.
Tuesdays: October 12 & November 9
7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667 Miamisburg-
Centerville Road (Centerville). For more
information call: (937) 640-3333.
Friday, October 15
400 – 5:30pm. Kentuckiana Responds To Anti-Gay
Bullying & Suicide Crisis. Community forum – everyone
welcome. Metro United Way, 334 East Broadway,
downtown Louisville, Community Meeting Room. For
more information write donald@teachingtheroad.org.
Tuesdays: October 19, 26 & November 2
7:30 – 8:45pm. Dave VanderPol facilitates a Single Gay
Men's Book Study & Journaling Group. Featured book:
Finding The Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch. Registration:
$5.00, pre-paid by check or through PayPal. For
Louisville location and other information write: editor@
Wednesday, October 20
6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confdential discussion group. For
more information, including the meeting location, write:
Saturday, October 16
8:00pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender support
group in Louisville. For location leave a message: (502) 894-
1048. For general information about the group visit www.
October 22 - 24
Seminar/Workshop: What the Bible Says/Doesn't Say About
Homosexuality. Speaker: Rev. Dr. Lisa Davison. Open Door
Community Fellowship, 3938 Southern Parkway. For times
and other information write opendoorcf@juno.com.
October 29 - 31
Monster Bash Halloween Weekend at Timberfell Lodge,
Greenville, TN. Friday evening: Leather Party. Saturday
Evening: Halloween Costume Party with prizes awarded.
For details on these and other upcoming special weekend
events visit www.timberfell.com.
Sundays: November 7 & December 4
3:00pm. Monthly meeting of Owensboro chapter of Parents
& Friends of Lesbians & Gays. Trinity Episcopal Church,
720 Ford Avenue. For information: pfagowensboro@
hotmail.com or call (270) 929-1399.
Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-proft community
organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and
professionals currently advertising in THE COMMUNITY LETTER.
Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol:
editor@TheLetterOnline.com. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your
Mark England www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com
Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods
iNcLusiVe fAiTh
Christ Church Cathedral (Episcopal)
Journeying Together In Christ
421 South 2nd Street (Downtown)
(502) 587-1354
Sundays: 8:15am (Rite I); 10:00am (Choral Rite II)
Concert & Choral Evensong: 2nd Sundays at 5:00pm
Central Presbyterian Church
Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love
4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville)
Church School: 9:30am
Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided)
Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert
(502) 587-6935 • www.CentralChurchKY.org
First Unitarian Church
Where Reason & Religion Meet
4th & York Streets, Louisville
Sunday Celebration of Life: 10:55am
Wednesday Chalice Night: 5:30pm
(502) 585-5110 • www.frstulou.org
Metropolitan Community Church
ALL People Are Welcome at the Table
1432 Highland Avenue (Louisville)
(502) 587-6225 • www.mcclouisville.org
Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor
Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am
Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm
New Beginnings Church
Defned By FAITH, Not Orientation!
1710 East 10th Street, Jefersonville, IN
Pastor Tracy Patton/ (812) 595-0571
Sunday Worship: 10:30am
Open Door Community Fellowship
Reaching Out to ALL People
3938 Southern Parkway, Louisville
(502) 893-6323 / Pastor Sherry Roby
Sunday: 10:30am & Wednesday: 7:00pm
Progressive Pathways Fellowship
What Path Calls You?
Mellwood Arts & Entertainment
Center / #208 1/2
1860 Mellwood Avenue, Louisville
Sunday Worship & Education: 5:30pm
Wednesday Book Chat: 6:15pm
Tomas Jeferson Unitarian Church
A Welcoming Congregation,
Standing On Te Side Of LOVE!
4936 Brownsboro Road
Louisville, KY 40222
(502) 425-6943 • www.tjuc.org
Sunday Service: 11:00am
sAVe The dATe
wednesday, december 1:
world Aids day events
& dining out for Life
sponsored by mark england
Inclusive Faith Communities listings
are welcome from congregations
throughout the six state region served
by THE LETTER. Pre-paid listings cost
$80.00 for six months or $140.00 for one
year. For more information write
October 15 - 17
Cowboys In Te Woods!
October 29-31
Friday: Leather Party
Saturday: Costume Party
November 12 - 14
10% Discount On
Two Night Stay
November 25 - 28
Tanksgiving Dinner
& Dance Parties
Louisville Mayoral Contest:
C-FAIR Endorses Greg Fischer
The Committee
for Fairness
And Individual
Rights (C-FAIR),
the political
action committee
affliated with
L o u i s v i l l e ’ s
F a i r n e s s
C a m p a i g n ,
r e c e n t l y
announced the
names of candidates for local and
state races that have received their
endorsements in the upcoming general
election. Election Day is Tuesday,
November 2.
In the race for Mayor of Louisville,
C0FAIR has enthusiastically endorsed
Democratic candidate Greg Fischer.
According to a statement released
by C-FAIR, “Fischer has made strong
statements in favor of Fairness issues;
including ferce support of Metro
Louisville's Fairness ordinance,
marriage equality, and a commitment
to offer domestic partner benefts to
city employees should he be elected
C-FAIR also pointed out that
Fischer's Republican opponent, Hal
Heiner, has been staunchly anti-
Fairness throughout the many years
he has served on Louisville’s Metro
Council. Heiner voted against the
city's Fairness ordinance when it came
before the council in 2004, and he
contributed $20,000 of personal funds
to support Kentucky's constitutional
amendment banning gay marriage that
same year. Not surprisingly, Heiner
did not even return a CFAIR candidate
For a complete list of local and
state candidates endorsed by C-FAIR,
visit www.fairness.org. For more
information write to CFAIRTeam@
State Agency Releases
Confdential HIV Information
Last month Lambda Legal, the
American Civil Liberties Union of
Northern California (ACLU-NC),
and HIV & AIDS Legal Services
Alliance (HALSA) sent a letter to
David Maxwell-Jolly, Director of the
California Department of Health Care
Services, demanding a full explanation
for the unauthorized and illegal
disclosures of confdential identifying
information of approximately 5,000
HIV-positive Medi-Cal recipients. The
information was released over a two-
and-a-half-year period, beginning in
2007, to a third party service provider.
In addition, Lambda Legal, the ACLU-
NC, and HALSA seek immediate
assurances from the state agency that
no additional unauthorized, illegal
disclosures will occur.
Lambda Legal and ACLU-NC became
aware of the breach during discussions
about AB 2590, a bill which would
have diluted the strong confdentiality
protections under California law for
those with HIV/AIDS and would have
legalized the unauthorized release
of such information to an HIV/AIDS
service provider. Although current
law forbids unauthorized disclosures
about a person's HIV status, the
state agency released confdential
identifying information about HIV-
positive Medi-Cal recipients without
authorization or proper limitations on
how that information was to be used
by a private organization, the AIDS
Healthcare Foundation.
"The state stepped out of bounds
when it disclosed the confdential
records of HIV-positive Medi-
Cal patients, even including their
contact information," said Elizabeth
Gill, Staff Attorney at the ACLU of
Northern California. "Medical records
contain highly sensitive and personal
information, and DHCS had no right
to give out that information without
people's permission."
"This is not just a violation of
people's privacy, it's a violation of
California law," said Peter Renn, Staff
Attorney with Lambda Legal. "HIV
is still a highly stigmatized disease,
something the state agency seems
to have conveniently forgotten.
Especially for those who are extra
vulnerable - like many who depend
on Medi-Cal for their essential
medical care - it is critical to prevent
improper disclosures of private health
information, such as one's HIV status.
Of course we all want people with
HIV to be able to access quality health
services. But that does not require
stripping patients of control over
their own medical information and
Greg Fischer
continued on pg 9)
Workshop To Explore Biblical Teaching
Open Door Community Fellowship, 3938 Southern
Parkway, is hosting an in-depth workshop designed to
answer two questions: Whet does the Bible say about
homosexuality? And what does the Bible not say about
homosexuality? The event will take place Friday, October
22 through Sunday, October 24. Rev. Dr. Lisa Davison, a
theologian who has a doctorate in Hebrew, will be leading
this event.
For more information, including times for the seminar,
call (502) 893-6323 or write opendoorcf@juno.com.
Rev. Dr. Lisa
exposing them to greater likelihood of
stigma and discrimination."
The letter, delivered on Thursday,
September 9 demands that the state
agency comply with California law
and stop releasing information to
third party service providers. It also
demands that the state agency provide
a full accounting of exactly what
information was released. Lambda
Legal, the ACLU, and HALSA have
also submitted a request under
the California Public Records Act
requesting documents regarding
the release, with the confdential
information removed.
HIV INFORMATION, cont’d from pg 8
When popular drag queen Kelly
King was featured in an April
1978 cover story in The Louisville
Times Scene Magazine, it created a
sensation that lasted for weeks. The
paper was deluged with countless
anti-gay letters, but they didn’t phase
King. She went on to a successful
career in Louisville, Pensacola, and
New Orleans before heading to San
Francisco. The article
is now considered
a landmark in the
city’s LGBT history.
But local memories
of King faded after
she left Louisville
in the 80s. She was
almost forgotten until
an old fan posted
a copy of the Scene
Magazine cover on
Facebook this summer. The question
quickly arose: whatever happened
to her? Most people thought she had
died, but no one knew how and where.
The debate caught the attention of
David Williams, local LGBT historian
with the Williams-Nichols Archive &
Library for LGBT Studies, who began
to do some digging.
There wasn’t much to go on. Few
people even knew King’s birth
name. When it was found, at frst it
was misspelled. Date of death was
eventually determined, but there
were no obituaries in any Bay Area
papers or the Louisville Courier-
Journal. She seemed to have simply
vanished without a trace.
Then there were the rumors. Some
thought she’d been stabbed to death.
Others said she’d died of AIDS
and had asked to be buried in her
favorite black dress. Alleged place of
internment: St. Michael’s Cemetery.
The truth was much different, and
sadder. As shown on her California
death certifcate, she died of acute
gastrointestinal hemorrhage brought
on by chronic alcoholism. Her end
occurred in Room 47
at the Pacifc Hotel
in San Francisco’s
Tenderloin District
on April 24, 1996.
She was apparently
King, born Rex
Melton Aultman,
graduated from
Doss High School
in 1971 and spent
two years at Jefferson Community
College before taking to the stage.
The legendary Cissy Blake, aka AIDS
activist Darrell Robinson, introduced
her to the world of performing. Her
main local venue was the Odyssey, a
gay bar then located at Preston and
Oak Streets. She lived above it with
another performer.
Sometime in the 80s she moved
to Florida. Perhaps the only extant
footage of her can be found on
YouTube: a 1988 performance for an
AIDS fundraiser at a Pensacola bar.
Little is known of her life after
leaving Louisville, but her memory
remains alive among her many fans
from the babyboom generation.
Kelly King, rest in peace.
Louisville Drag Legend:
Kelly King Remembered by David Williams
10 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM OCTOBer 2010
by Rev. Todd Eklof
Get To Know Jesus Christ Through His Own Words &
In Light Of Today’s Most Controversial Social Issues
This book is so CONTROVERSIAL that a subsidiary of
Amazon.com backed out of their commitment to promote it!
Rev. Todd Eklof is a “recovering Southern Baptist”, turned
Unitarian Universalist Minister. He lives in Louisville,
where he has served as the Minister of Clifton Unitarian
Church since 1999. He's gained national notoriety as an
environmental prophet and gay rights activist, and also
devotes much of his time to Restorative Justice and the
Peace movement.
Fklof’s background as a conservative Christian turned
religious liberal, his thorough knowledge of Biblical
scholarship, and his down-to-earth writing style, has
enabled him to produce a scholarly, concise, and easy-to-
follow treatment of Jesus' life and teachings.
The U.S. State Department has recently released its annual human
rights survey and the entire chapter on Jamaica was a horrific read. As
in years past, the chapter's section on gays and people with AIDS/HIV
was particularly frightening.
There are "targeted shootings of homosexuals" among other ills
facing our brothers and sisters in Jamaica, giving more impetus to the
development of a boycott of Jamaican rums and beers, along with cruise
lines visiting the island nation.
I'll soon share more information about the boycott and the demands
that will be made on the government in Kingston. In the meanwhile,
give this extract from the State Department 2008 human rights report
some attention:
The law prohibits "acts of gross indecency" (generally interpreted as
any kind of physical intimacy) between men, in public or in private,
which are punishable by 10 years in prison.
Jamaica Isn't For Lovers
by Michael Petrelis
Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays
Coming out? Don’t face it alone!
PFLAG is for more than just for parents,
families and friends. We’re also here for you!
We meet the Third Sunday of the month at 3:00pm at
First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway.
Use the west entrance closest to the alley.
Questions? Leave a confidential message and
one of our members will return your call.
(502) 329-0229.
The Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All Sexuals, and Gays (J-FLAG)
continued to report human rights abuses, including arbitrary detention,
mob attacks, stabbings, harassment of homosexual patients by hospital
and prison staff, and targeted shootings of homosexuals. Police often
did not investigate such incidents.
J-FLAG members also suffered attacks on their property, home
intrusions as people demanded to know the number of persons and beds
in a home, and in one instance, a fire bombing at the home of two men
that left one of them with burns on more than 60 percent of his body. In
addition homosexuals faced death and arson threats, with some of these
directed at the J-FLAG offices. J-FLAG did not publicize its location due
to such threats, and its officials reported feeling unsafe having meetings
with clients at the organization's office.
In February a mob broke into the home of four presumed homosexual
men, killing three of them. The fourth was missing and presumed
dead. The men had reported being harassed for their perceived sexual
orientation prior to the fatal attack. Police made some inquiries in the
case but did not conduct a full investigation or make any arrests by
year's end.
The trial of six suspects arrested for the 2005 robbery and murder of
Lenford "Steve" Harvey, initially begun and then postponed in 2007,
was scheduled to recommence in January 2009.
Male inmates deemed by prison wardens to be homosexual were
held in a separate facility for their protection. The method used for
determining their sexual orientation was subjective and not regulated
by the prison system, although inmates were said to confirm their
homosexuality for their own safety. There were numerous reports of
violence against homosexual inmates, perpetrated by the wardens and
by other inmates, but few inmates sought recourse through the prison
Homosexual men were hesitant to report incidents against them
because of fear for their physical well-being. Lesbian women were subject
to sexual assault as well as other physical attacks. Human rights NGOs
and government entities agreed that brutality against homosexuals,
primarily by private citizens, was widespread in the community.
No laws protect persons living with HIV/AIDS from discrimination.
Human rights NGOs reported severe stigma and discrimination against
this group. The ILO worked with the Ministry of Labor on a program to
reduce the stigma of HIV/AIDS in the workplace and to assist employers
in designing policies for workers with HIV/AIDS. Although health care
facilities were prepared to handle patients with HIV/AIDS, health care
workers often neglected such patients.
Long-time activist Michael Petrelis reports stories the mainstream
media choose to ignore. Michael has appeared on The O'Reilly Factor,
CNN, ABC News, and National Public Radio. He has been quoted
by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Raw Story, The
Chicago Tribune, The New Republic, and Stars & Stripes. You can
visit Michael Petelis' blog at: mpetrelis.blogspot.com.
4033 Taylorsville Road
Louisville, KY 40220
Mobile: (502) 836-1255
FAX: (502) 400-2796
Each Offce Is Independently Owned & Operated
Century 21 Joe Guy Hagan
Rev. Todd Eklof
OCTOBer 2010 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 11
On Tuesday, November 2, 2010 you
have one, and only one thing, you
really need to do. Vote. The entire
country is looking at and talking about
Kentucky. They know we fnally fred
Ann Northup and replaced her with
a very progressive forward thinking
congressman, John Yarmuth. They
know we have the obstructionist, very
narrow minded and poorly spoken
Senator, Mitch McConnell. And now
the fnal chapter in the Jim Bunning
book is almost written.
The country wants to know if
Kentucky has turned the corner. Are
we going to join the sensible-minded
mainstream America and elect a fair,
open-minded candidate who has
proven to be on the side of the average
Kentuckian, Jack Conway? Or are
we going to continue to frmly grasp
old ideas that are based on gender,
race, sexual orientation, and fnancial
superiority that Rand Paul favors?
Can we show the country that yes,
Kentucky is on a road of fairness and
tolerance for all Kentuckians? I think
we can, but you are going to need to
vote. Don’t assume that Jack Conway
will win this race. The polls show
the race, at this time, to be within the
margin of error. It could go either
way. Yes, it is hard to understand how
someone could honestly embrace the
ideas of someone like Rand Paul. But
the only thing you can do is support
the fair-minded candidate, who would
stand up for you as a person within
the LBGT community. Clearly, that
candidate is Jack Conway.
This long weekend I had the
opportunity to just relax and watch
old movies. I found the movie Never
Been Kissed staring Drew Barrymore,
who by the way is a huge supporter of
our community. If you have seen the
movie, then you know the storyline. A
young reporter goes back to high school
to fnd a story. She, like so many gay
people, was ridiculed in high school
just for being herself. But when she re-
enters high school, she fnds a way to
take control of the situation and is able
to be the person who is admired rather
than ridiculed. At the end of the movie,
she takes a leap of faith and goes to the
center of a baseball feld before a game
to see if the teacher she fell in love with
feels the same as she does and will
meet her at the feld. The countdown
begins. As the clock counts down to
zero, no one has shown up.
This is, in so many ways, what we
are going through as a community. We
are all standing on the feld, waiting to
see if we will be accepted. Everyone
is watching. Many people are in the
stands and are supporting us. They
feel that this is their fght as much as
it is ours. But will the country ever
fnally jump up from the stands to the
feld and actually run to our side? I
hope so. I am waiting. I do have faith
in my country, but often I feel like the
clock is almost to zero. However, while
we wait, let's do something while we
are on center feld, while everyone is
Let's show the country that we are
indeed moving forward. That we
can, as Kentuckians, elect people that
respect everyone, regardless of gender,
race, sexual orientation, education, or
class. Sometimes in life you don’t get
a second chance. Take a leap of faith
and go vote. Whatever happens, you
will have voiced your opinion at the
polls. In time the crowd, not just one
person will rush toward us. Right
now, everybody is looking at you. All
you need to do is smile. And vote.
Almost Never Been Kissed by Ren Scheuerman
Ren Scheuerman and
his partner, Travis
Lay, enjoy living in the
luxury of Indian Hills
(Northeast Louisville).
where they enjoy
building bridges of
understanding with
their neighbors (the
vast majority of
which are rumored to
Bryan Gatewood
We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy under the bankruptcy law.
Family Law • Estate Planning • Professional Small Business
Charitable Planning • Debtor/Creditor
231 South Fifth Street, Suite 200
Attorneys and Counselors at Law
Jack Conway
One Newspaper, Four Websites
www.theletter.com / transfatty.wordpress.com
theletterhead.win.net / glbtbookreviews.wordpress.com
12 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM OCTOBer 2010
Stop whining. Yes, that means you
and me both. Sure, President Obama
hasn't come through with the many
laws and policy changes we were
hoping for 20 months ago, but, hell.
It's not going to get any better if we
allow Republicans to whittle away at
Democratic majorities in the November
President Obama's press secretary
Robert Gibbs was right when he
ranted in August, “Dems need to stop
whining, stop with the circular fring
squad and realize that we're not going
to get everything we want, now or
ever." He went on to suggest if we
don't think Obama's administration is
far superior to Bush's, then we may be
in the wrong party.
Right again. If you feel Obama
didn't do enough the last year or
so, wait until John Boehner is house
majority leader and Mitch McConnell
heads the Senate. I can't imagine the
Republicans allowing a single piece of
progressive legislation get past them.
If it doesn't beneft Wall Street or some
bloated multinational, it's not going to
In our own community, I think we're
guilty of overlooking a lot of changes.
We aren't peaking enough under the
mainstream media's radar. If we did,
we'd be very impressed.
For starters, we have the Shepard-
Byrd hate crimes law, which extends
federal penalties to hate crimes
committed on the basis of sexual
orientation and other categories. Do
you know how long that bill languished
in Congress? Ten years. Obama got it
passed his frst.
He also lifted travel restrictions
against foreigners with AIDS who
want to visit or move to this country.
That policy had been in place since the
days of one of our most homophobic
presidents, the unlamented Ronald
Reagan. Now, for the frst time an
international AIDS conference is going
to be held in this country in 2012.
He's extended domestic partnership
benefts for federal employees, a
major step in the right direction, and
implemented a hospital visitation
policy for federally-funded hospitals
and medical centers that allows one
partner in a same-sex relationship
to visit the other without restriction.
Do you think a Republican president
would have done that? Bush could
have. He didn't. What does that say
about the Republican Party?
Yes, gays in the military. Obama's
launched a study that hopefully will
allow us to serve openly. It's due
in his hands by January. I can hear
Republicans laughing that one out of
the halls of Congress now if they're in
Twice he's issued proclamations for
Pride Month: a relatively simple gesture
started by Bill Clinton but scoffed at by
Bush. But he's gone further than that.
He issued a Father's Day proclamation
that mentioned families with two dads.
Wow! The President has also appeared
I miss Kyle, Fish, Luke, Noah and Reid! And when
will we ever get to see Phillip and Rafe kiss, let alone
make love?
I don’t claim to know all of the background
politics and maneuvering that has played out over
the past few years with the folks who write and
produce soap operas with gay characters. All I know
is what I read on gay entertainment websites like
AfterElton.com and GregInHollywood.com.
What I do know is that I’m perturbed beyond
words by the awful handling of the various gay
(male) characters that have appeared over the past
few years on One Life To Live, As The World Turns
and The Young & The Restless. I believe that the root
cause for the problems with the plots involving these
characters to be nothing less than homophobia.
With the religious right demanding soaps drop
all gay characters, it is truly amazing that any openly
gay character is ever depicted on television, let alone
in a daytime drama. At the same time homophobic
viewers are working against inclusion of GLBT
characters, “our team” is demanding more air time
and more explicit romantic/sexual scenes for gay
characters. With pressure from both sides I can
believe the producers and writers of these soaps
experience a level of pressure that is very diffcult to
deal with.
Kyle and Fish, a gay couple on One Life To
Live were dropped from the show this past spring
because research showed that straight viewers found
the guys offensive, which supposedly cause the soap
to lose lots of viewers. Yet since Kyle and Fish were
dropped, the soap’s ratings have are now at their
lowest level in the recent history of the show. Surely
our gay characters weren’t scapegoats?
Gay characters on The Young & The Restless
are yet to be shown kissing…except from the chest
down. Showing a same-sex couple in an embrace
is OK, just don’t let the camera show them locking
While I’m truly sad that As The World Turns
ended it’s 54 year run on September 17., I believe
the storylines for Luke, Noah and Reid were pretty
much a joke! It took the writers nearly two years
before they allowed Luke and Noah to have sex.
How realistic is that? They went nearly seven months
between their second and third on-screen kiss! They
could hold hands, cuddle (fully clothed) and even
gaze longingly in each other’s eyes – but NO kisses
for seven months.
What are straight people so uptight about? What
will it take for them to believe that our love is just as
precious, wonderful and life-enhancing as theird!
If you have the time, I suggest you do a
Google search for the phrase (in quotation marks)
“homophobia scale” to learn what researchers long
ago fgured out: NOT all homophobia is “in your
face”. In fact, most homophobia is very subtle and
many homophobic individuals have no clue that
they are homophobic at all! Is that really surprising?
How many members of “our team” have struggled
with internalized homophobia and NOT realized
that they were thinking and behaving out of self-
Soap Opera Homophobia Would Make A Great Soap Opera! by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor
Stop Whining by David Williams
European soap operas are light years ahead of
their US counterparts. Visit our main website,
www.theletteronline.com, to view a video clip
from the big gay church wedding that took
place last month on the German soap Forbidden
Love. Christian and Oliver, shown above, kiss
moments before cutting their huge wedding cake.
continued on pg 13)
continued on pg 13)
OCTOBer 2010 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 13
before several LGBT functions and invited national
LGBT leaders to the White House. Again, a small but
meaningful gesture.
In just 20 months, President Obama has done more
for the LGBT community than George Bush ever did
(that is to say, zilch) and dare I say even Bill Clinton,
whose support of don't ask, don't tell and the so-called
Defense of Marriage Act is a major scar on his otherwise
benevolent presidency.
Get with it! If Republicans take over Congress in
January, forget about ENDA, forget about allowing
gays in the military and forget about rescinding the
marriage act. It's not going to happen.
We need to close ranks now, and we need to convince
independents to come out in support of Democratic
candidates as well. Otherwise, it may be another 10
years before we have another golden opportunity like
the Obama administration to really change our fortunes
for the better.
Breaking My Shy Boyfriend out of His Shell by Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, D.H.S., M.S.W.
Q: I’m an experienced dater who is
dating someone quite shy. Things have
been going well over the last several
months, and I’ve been well-behaved
and considerate. I’ve also been sure to
live my own life while getting caught
up in all the feelings associated a
budding “interest.”
While things are going well, I’ve
vocalized my “like” for him, when in
fact, I’ve got some pretty strong feelings
for him. He’s so shy and quiet that I’m
scared to turn him off. And, he’s never
been in a relationship before. So, do
you have any advice? I feel as though
there is a communication defcit and
I’d like to bridge the gap, encouraging
him to express what it is he might feel
for me, while respecting his gentler
A: Kudos to you for recognizing the
value that a shy guy can offer to dating
relationship! And while their quiet and
innocent demure can be ravishingly
attractive, their reticence at the same
time can add an element of confusion
and frustration as you attempt to
engage them during your courtship.
Perhaps his shyness stems from
a basic temperament he was born
with that exemplifes his personality.
Or maybe he’s a little insecure and
has some self-esteem issues that he’s
grappling with that might diminish
the more comfortable he becomes
with you. Whatever the source, his
shyness is ultimately his issue and
there’s not much control you have
over whether he’s in or out of his
shell. However, there are a few things
you might try to help break him of his
inhibitions so he becomes a bit more
of an active participant in the budding
Help boost his confdence by
validating the things he’s good at.
Recognize his talents and give positive
strokes for things he says or does that
mirror more of the behaviors you’re
seeking. For example, “Thanks for
sharing your opinion about that. I really
like it when you talk about how you’re
feeling.” Reinforce those behaviors that
you appreciate by acknowledging them
in the moment, and avoid shaming or
criticizing his quietness.
Try to plan dates or activities where
he might shine. Shy men do best in
situations where they feel a sense of
control, where there’s an absence of
performance anxiety, and in settings
that are structured and have a purpose-
driven format. If you’re looking for
more expressiveness from him, try
asking him open-ended questions
where further elaboration is required
during dialogues rather than simple
yes/no responses.
Aside from that, show him the time
of his life! And there’s nothing wrong
with you sharing your thoughts and
feelings with him; he may just mirror
your actions. Remember that you have
the right to ask for what you need and
want, so it’s important not to enable
shy behavior by not speaking up if
your needs aren’t being met. It can
very easy when dating a shy man to be
put in the position of always “taking
the lead.” Try adding some balance
to this by providing opportunities for
him to initiate, offer opinions, give
feedback, or collaborate in problem-
solving. It does take two to tango, so
after giving the relationship time to
develop and evolve, assess your guy’s
level of involvement and investment in
your romance to determine if his level
of engagement matches your personal
requirements for a relationship.
The key to bringing a shy guy
around is to create an atmosphere in
your relationship to where he feels
safe. Once this is achieved, in most
cases the inhibitions will decrease and
you just might fnd a wild man on
your hands bubbling just below the
surface, bringing out another aspect of
his nature for you to fall in love with in
addition to his sweetness. Enjoy!
©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski, All rights
reserved. To sign up for the FREE Gay
Love Coach Newsletter flled with dating
and relationship tips and skills for
gay singles and couples, as well as to
check out current coaching groups,
programs, and teleclasses, visit www.
David Williams is the founder of the Williams-Nichols Institute
and the Kentucky Gay & Lesbian Library and Archives, which
are housed at the University of Louisville’s Ekstrom Library.
LIBERAL ON THE SAUCE, cont’d from pg 12
I don’t want to accuse any soap writer or producer
involved with the three soap operas mentioned above of
overt homophobia because of the way they handled their
gay characters. Perhaps the characters were mishandled
out of ignorance? Yet, at the very least, these writers and
producers likely deserve the title of “enabler” for caving
into the complaints of homophobic viewers.
Back in the 1960s no soap opera allowed viewers to
see married heterosexual couples sleeping in the same
bed! So maybe by 2015 we could at least have a soap
depict a same-sex wedding? Oh wait, one German soap
did that last month. Germans can handle watching a
gay wedding in a church, but not Americans.
In the meantime I’m all for keeping up pressure –
frm yet polite – on the networks to include more LGBT
characters in daytime and other programming. We
know the well-fnanced and well-organized religious
right wont be shutting up any time soon, so our voices
must continue to be heard.
TRANS FATTY, cont’d from pg 12
Agree or disagree, Dave VanderPol would love to know your
thoughts! Write to him at editor@theletteronline.com or
call (502) 322-4632.
for his many years
of dedicated volunteer
service on behalf of the
Bluegrass Classic
Bowling Tournament
Know of a community leader
that deserves to be saluted?
Tell us who and why:
14 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM OCTOBer 2010
The Respected Source
For GLBT News
It's no secret that Angelina Jolie
and Brad Pitt are queen and king of
the paparazzi. Even when Britney
and Lindsay threaten their reign, the
couple always manages to come back
with a vengeance (even if they claim
to be uninterested in the media). It's
easy when you view the developing
countries of the world as giant shopping
malls full of babies just waiting to be
snatched up at a decent price.
Life & Style magazine, that bastion
of hard-hitting journalism, took a
break from its 24-hour Lohan coverage
to drudge up a news story about the
Jolie-Pitts: namely, the gender identity
of their biologically female child,
I am partial to Star Magazine, but
I'll take what I can get in a pinch.
For months, the paparazzi have
been highlighting the supposed
family turmoil over Shiloh's gender
identity and expression. Although
born female, Brangelina have allowed
Shiloh to adopt characteristics that
are typically associated with male-
bodied individuals -- from wearing
pants (OMFG!) to maintaining a short,
un-ladylike haircut, Shiloh has been
allowed to choose the mode of gender
expression that suits her best. Angelina
even told Vanity Fair that Shiloh is
drawn to more masculine expressions
of gender, and as a result, has been
given the freedom to adopt the traits
she prefers.
While it is a little too early to know if
Shiloh genuinely feels like a boy more
than a little girl (she is only 4 years old,
after all) or if she's just a tomboy; I'm
glad that we have magazines like Life
& Style to act as the moral compass of
parenting, and make Shiloh feel even
more ostracized than she already does
by having A-list parents.
Interestingly, Life & Style was
reprimanded in March by The Advocate
and GLAAD for its "coverage" of the
supposed family drama. Then, the
tabloid painted Shiloh's masculine
traits as harmful and an indicator of
bad parenting (quoting anti-gay/anti-
feminist group, Focus on the Family);
and while the magazine apologized,
their ongoing coverage indicates the
editors didn't take the message to
heart. They are also furthering parental
gender stereotypes by painting Brad as
the one repulsed by any deviation of
stereotypical gender traits.
As someone who played with both
action fgures and Barbie, and dressed
as both Batman and Catwoman (mainly
Catwoman), I don't fnd anything
wrong with Shiloh being given the
freedom to actually choose how she
wants to express herself. Had my
parents insisted I only played sports
or only had male friends as a child, I
would have been miserable. The only
tragedy with Shiloh is that she has
the misfortune of having to discover
herself under the ever-present watch
of the media.
The fact that Life & Style and its
counterparts are so enamored with
Shiloh's gender expression highlights
our society's desperate need to cling
to preconceived gender stereotypes.
Transgendered celebrities like Chaz
Bono, Candis Cayne, and Alexis
Arquette, are less celebrated for any
talent they have, and more highlighted
as curiosities -- a modern-day,
paparazzi-driven freak show.
While I think there are many
parenting techniques to critique
Brangelina for, giving Shiloh the
freedom to express herself is not one of
them. Let's just hope the tabloids don't
get the best of them.
Eric Jost is a freelance
writer living in Washington,
DC. His work ranges
from embarrassing
frstperson narratives to
commentaries on queer
rights and sex positive
culture. You can check out
more of his work at www.
Gender Identity Is The New Gay by Eric Jost
What Path Calls You?
Federal Court Dismisses Anti-Marriage Equality
Group’s Lawsuit Challenging Disclosure Laws
A federal court yesterday dismissed a lawsuit
by the National Organization for Marriage
(NOM) fled last month in Rhode Island. NOM,
the leading anti-LGBT force in the country,
argued that it should be able to run ads on
behalf of Rhode Island Republican gubernatorial
candidate John Robitaille, who strongly opposes
marriage equality, without having to report its
expenditures or comply with other campaign
fnance laws. NOM is embarking on a ruthless
campaign this election cycle to defeat candidates
who support marriage equality.
“NOM is boldly trying to circumvent
campaign disclosure laws in a number of states,”
said Kevin Nix, Director of the NOM Project for
the Human Rights Campaign. “They have so far
failed in Rhode Island as they have elsewhere.
Federal and state offcials around the country
should sit up and take notice of this fringe
group’s shadowy fnancing and questionable
Judge Mary M. Lisi dismissed NOM’s
complaint on grounds that it violated federal
litigation rules. The court, among other
things, found that “the factual allegations in
the complaint are buried in… conclusory and
argumentative passages” and that it “places an
unjustifed burden on the court and the [state] to
respond to it because they are forced to ferret out
the relevant material from a mass of verbiage.”
The court gave NOM until next week to fle
an amended complaint that comports with the
In its September court fling, NOM said it intends
to “engage in multiple forms of speech in Rhode
Island” in advance of the November 2 elections,
“including radio ads, television ads, direct mail
and publicly accessible Internet postings.” Rhode
Island law permits “independent expenditures”
from organizations like NOM – but forbids
these groups from coordinating any strategy or
ads with candidates. Candidate John Robitaille
stands to beneft most from NOM’s ads – he
opposes same-sex marriage.
NOM is fghting campaign fnance laws
in a number of states, including New York,
Washington, California and Maine, where it
remains under investigation by the Maine Ethics
Commission for failing to register with the state
as a ballot question committee and refusing to
disclose the donors to its campaign to overturn
Maine’s marriage equality law in 2009.
OCTOBer 2010 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 15
[NOTE: This month’s question is
from a client of Dr. Schloemer, rather
than a reader.]
Q: I have a dilemma involving an old
boyfriend and a very hurtful breakup.
I’ll call him “Chad” here. He left me
for another guy right before a big
commitment ceremony we’d planned
for months. Through therapy and
support from friends, I was fnally able
to overcome the horrible depression
I experienced after the breakup, and
have even been very happy in a new
relationship for the last year.
Here’s my dilemma: Chad recently
contacted me by voicemail and said
he’s just been diagnosed with cancer,
the prognosis isn’t good and he wants
to try to make amends to me. Honestly,
my frst thought was “Karma’s a bitch,
dude!” After I calmed down, I began to
feel mainly ambivalent … wanting to
accept his amends to ease his conscience
so he doesn’t have to worry about me
as he deals with his cancer … also
wanting to let him feel the same sense of
abandonment and betrayal I felt when
he left me.
So what’s your opinion: to forgive or
not to forgive?
A: Of all the questions I hear from
clients in my practice, it’s amazing how
often questions about forgiveness come
up. Sometimes, as with this client, the
question is whether we should forgive
someone else for the harm they’ve done
us. Other times, the question is how
to persuade someone else to forgive
us for the harm we did them. Either
way, this much is clear: forgiveness
requires a lot of people, emotionally,
psychologically and spiritually, and
decisions about forgiveness deserve
careful consideration.
A number of good books and articles
exist on the topic of forgiveness. I don’t
have a personal favorite but anyone
interested can fnd a wealth of material
just by Googling the word “forgiveness.”
While I haven’t read all that there is out
there on the topic, I’ve sampled a good
number of the offerings and have found
some common themes in the literature.
One theme is that forgiveness is
something we do for ourselves, not the
person who wronged us. This idea may
seem counter-intuitive at frst, but the
common sense of it is this: by harboring
anger and resentment we really only
hurt ourselves, and give the person who
harmed us more power over us than
they deserve.
Another theme is that forgiveness is
a double-edged sword: we all need it
from others at times, and we all need to
give it to others at times. To withhold
it from others when they need it from
us only diminishes us spiritually and
creates bad Karma.
Finally, lots of authors who talk about
forgiveness also talk about the freeing
effects of letting go of past hurts. It takes
a lot of psychic energy to stay mad at
someone. When we let go of that anger,
we get psychic energy back and are
truly free again from the negative hold
the anger had on our hearts.
So my advice is usually to forgive
others whenever we can. That’s not to
say we should be close or trusting again
with those who have hurt us; in fact,
exercising some degree of caution and
self-protection is probably wise with
such folks. But why let their past hurtful
actions dictate our behavior now and
forever? Better to move forward and get
on with our lives. Perhaps Hemingway
put this idea best when he wrote, “living
well is the best revenge.”
Whatever this client decides, here’s
wishing him peace of mind.
Fred Schloemer, Ed.D., LCSW is a Louisville
psychotherapist specializing in GLBT issues.
Write him at FredSchloemer@aol.com, visit
his website at www.schloemerservices.com,
and order his book From A Land in Between
at www.publishmaerica.com.
“To Err is Human, To Forgive Divine” by Dr. Fred Schloemer, L.C.S.W.
The news hits hard. Friends of ours
— coupled a few years longer than
our 14 — are calling it quits on their
relationship. My husband Dave and I
didn't see it coming. Apparently, neither
did they. Or at least, not both of them.
Less than a week ago we asked one of
the men what he most wants from life.
"To grow old with my partner," he said.
The news of these friends' impending
breakup sends a chill down my spine,
as if someone somewhere is walking
across my grave. It reminds me that at
some point my relationship with Dave
will end. We will part ways by choice,
chance, death or the thousand other
ways relationships terminate. We know
I remember an article I read about the
nature and duration of gay relationships.
The author cited the results of a multiple
choice survey question that showed
newly-partnered couples were most
apt to predict their relationship would
last "forever." The longer the partners
had been together—25 years, 30, even
40—the more likely they were to predict
their relationship would last "another
month." Perhaps with age comes the
realization that nothing is sure, nothing
lasts, everything changes whether we
like it or not.
How to live in such a world?
The answer is perhaps scribed on
a plaque that hangs on a wall of our
home. The words are right there in
front of my face, penned in a fowing
calligraphic hand by my former wife.
She copied them from a similar plaque
in my parents' house. I can't read the
words. They're in Finnish, language of
my grandparents, but the translation
is etched in my mind: "We have all we
need. What we don't have, we don't
need." Sage advice about how to make
I’ve taken these words to heart. I am
notorious for wearing tennis shoes until
I walk out the sides of them. To do farm
work I slip into a pair of old black dress
shoes, their soles strapped on with layer
after layer of duct tape. We lay our table
with cloths that were new 50 years ago.
My husband spent this morning sewing
patches onto one of them.
I harbored hopes that my frst
marriage could be patched together, that
my wife and I could make it last as long
as my parent's “'til-death-do-us-part”
relationship. It was not to be. My wife
needed a man who needed a woman,
who could love her in ways meaningful
to her, to join her in a union of opposites.
I needed a man to companion, to brother,
to twin with, to form a union of equals.
Even so, I continue to sit with the
questions raised by the dissolution of
the marriage. Was it best to call it quits?
Was anything to be gained by making it
last? How would life be different—hers,
mine, our children's—had we stayed
together? The fallout seems severe: my
three sons, now young adults, have
nothing to do with me, nor have they
had since they were children.
But perhaps I overstate the case. I
have found deep happiness in life since
the marriage ended. Has my former wife
since found something similar? Have
our kids moved to a place of satisfaction
and joy? How can I know? Will I ever
And why the importance placed on
making it last—making anything last—
in the frst place? Isn’t the message of
life that everything changes? That we
are always in a state of becoming? That
existence is one long lesson in letting
And yet.
Maybe the deeper truth of the proverb
— and I have no clue how to say it in
Finnish — is that we do have all we need
somewhere deep within. Deep down
inside us resides the wisdom to know
when to hold on, when to let go, when
to take what is as it presents itself. We
already possess the gumption, patience
and discernment to navigate the river of
life, the One-River that bears us all along
on its ever-fowing, ever-changing, ever-
the-same path to the Sea of—what?
Being? Eternity? Nirvana? Truth?
Making It Last by Bryn Marlow
Bryn Marlow (gayfeather.blogspot.com) lives
with his husband Dave on a 1930s Indiana
farmstead where they raise chickens and
16 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM OCTOBer 2010
Classifed Advertising in THE
COMMUNITY LETTER is affordable
and presented with a type font that is
easy on the eyes! This is a great way to
support the work of your community
Up to 40 words for $15.00, 41 – 75
words for $25.00. Ads must be pre-
paid with a credit card through PayPal
or by check. For more information
write advertising@theletteronline.
com or call (502) 322-4632. Deadline
for pre-payment and text: 20th day of
the month for the following month’s
Paid ads appearing in print are
also placed on our main website
at no additional charge: www.
Chinese Cuisine. Let
China Inn cater your event!
Competitive pricing and a
large menu. Call for catering
menu and prices: (502) 636-
2020. Visit us online: www.
Effciency Apartment. Furn-
ished. Camera-secure parking
pad included. Rented by the
week; $40.00 per night. Sleeps
a maximum of two persons.
Located in the Highlands,
near the intersection of Baxter
Avenue & Bardstown Road.
Within walking distance to
many popular restaurants and
bars. For more information
call (502) 510-5457.
Michael Eagan. Full service
graphic design, including web
design. Photo restoration.
Software training.
Microsoft certifed. Based in
Jeffersonville, IN. mdeagan@
Single Gay Men’s Book
Study & Journaling Group.
Looking for love? Stop
looking alone. Start looking
within! Tuesdays: October
19, 26 & November 2 starting
at 7:30pm. Each session will
last 75 minutes. Confdential
location in the Clifton/Crescent
Hill neighborhood. Group
members will be responsible
for purchasing a copy of Brad
Gooch’s bestseller, Finding
The Boyfriend Within. Advance
registration: $5.00, payable
online through PayPal or with
a check. Participants will be
expected to do reading and
writing assignments in a
timely manner, so motivation
to fnd a life partner is
obviously important. For more
information write editor@
or call (502) 322-4632
The Comprehensive Care Center
(CCC), one of the nation’s largest
and most successful outpatient HIV/
AIDS treatment facilities, is moving
to Vanderbilt Health One Hundred
Beginning this month, most
clinical services to CCC patients will
now be provided by the Vanderbilt
Medical Group under a new name,
the Vanderbilt Comprehensive Care
The CCC, an independent, non-
proft organization, will continue to
administer the federal grants that
support the clinic, and provide a
wide range of services including
psychiatric, nutritional and medical
case management, and specialized
care for pregnant women with HIV.
Also moving to the offce tower at
One Hundred Oaks are the Vanderbilt
AIDS Center’s clinical research
programs and Nashville Pharmacy
Services, which specializes in HIV
The arrangement “is great for
everyone,” said CCC founder and
chief medical offcer Stephen Raffanti,
M.D., MPH, an associate professor
of Medicine at Vanderbilt. Providing
highly specialized and expensive care
to patients with HIV and AIDS is “an
incredible challenge,” particularly for
a small, stand-alone facility, Raffanti
“It’s a huge win for Vanderbilt’s
research and teaching missions,”
added Richard D’Aquila, M.D.,
director of the Vanderbilt AIDS Center
and the Infectious Diseases Division
in the Department of Medicine.
The CCC has been a critical site
for Vanderbilt clinical researchers for
years. Relocation will “allow us to do
more translational research than we
were able to do before,” D’Aquila said.
“It means we have a better opportunity
for teaching trainees at all levels.”
Since it was established in 1994
as a collaborative effort between
Nashville’s hospitals, business
community and Vanderbilt University,
the CCC has enrolled 7,400 patients in
care. Until recently it was located near
Centennial Park.
Currently the CCC provides
care for more than 2,400 patients
in Nashville and through satellite
clinics in Cookeville, Columbia and
Through innovative and
personalized disease management, it
has prevented -- in almost every case
-- transmission of the AIDS virus from
HIV-positive pregnant women to their
babies during or following delivery.
D’Aquila said the relocation will
strengthen collaborations with
other AIDS organizations, including
Nashville CARES, and the city and
state health departments to overcome
barriers that prevent early diagnosis,
access to services and retention in
The ultimate goal, he said, is to
“prevent and cure this still-spreading,
lifelong infection.”
[Copyright 2010, Out & About
Newspaper. All rights reserved.
Reprinted with permission.]
Nashville Facility Treats 24,000 HIV/AIDS Patients Yearly
[Reprinted with permission of Out & About Newspaper.]
OCTOBer 2010 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 17
[Impellezzeris Pizza: www.
impellizzeris.com. Three Louisville
locations: 1381 Bardstown Road, (502)
454-2711, 4933 Brownsboro Road,
(502) 425-9080 and opening this fall, a
downtown Louisville location at 110
West Main Street.]
Ah, pizza! It’s easy to pick up the
phone and order carry-out from one of
the big franchises. There are over 300
listings for pizza in the Metro Louisville
yellow pages!
On a recent weekend my family and
I decided to visit Impellizzeris Pizza
on Bardstown Road and taste some
of their highly acclaimed pizza pies.
When I frst moved to Louisville in
the early ‘90’s, I remember eating at a
much smaller Impellizzeris, also on
Bardstown Road but in a location where
the biggest business came in the form of
delivery and take-out. This newer spot
is defnitely geared for those eating
on site and we found through our
experience that they truly do deliver an
excellent meal.
The restaurant was clearly designed
with classic Italian eatery in mind.
The walls are dark and lined with
comfortable booths, checkered cloths
cover the tables and I half expected the
token bottle of Chianti with candle at
each spot but was sorely disappointed
that they skipped that cliché.
Although there is ample
seating, there usually
is a wait due to the
popularity of the
restaurant. The
walls in the
waiting area
are flled
with several
“Best of
a w a r d s
which made
us salivate
even more in
of our meal.
And for the
sports enthusiast,
there are plenty of
big screen televisions
on which you can watch
your favorite team.
On the night we visited,
the al fresco area in the front of the
restaurant was quite busy but we did
not have to wait for a table.
We were a bit early to indulge in
the Happy Hour which did not begin
until 10:00pm but that certainly didn’t
stop me from ordering a glass of the
house Chardonnay. As we perused
the menu while enjoying our drinks, I
noted that the eatery might be known
for its pizza but the menu is much
more extensive than I expected. There
are a number of appetizers as well as
salads and Hoagie sandwiches and a
variety of pastas. We decided to start
with an appetizer classic, the Breadstix
($5.99). Six pieces of bread topped
with herbs and parmesan cheese were
served practically swimming in a garlic
butter sauce. The slightly chewy “stix”
benefted from the delicious sauce and
I could not help myself from double
dipping. Not for the diet conscious but
so delicious.
When I discovered that my other
dining partners had settled on pizza,
I thought I would try something
different on the menu, especially since
I knew I would be able to sample their
pie. Some of the hoagies sounded quite
tasty such as the Italian Sausage hoagie
($7.99) served with homemade sausage
and the Calzone ($8.99) also sounded
I opted for pasta. I could not choose
between the Pasta and Homemade
Meatballs ($7.99) and the Stuffed
Manicotti ($11.99). I was in the mood for
some meat so I opted for the meatballs.
You can select between spaghetti and
mostaccioli. I picked the mostaccioli
as I prefer a thicker pasta. Imagine my
delight when my meal was served with
two more breadsticks, also wading in
that garlic butter. My pasta was cooked
al dente and the sweetness of the thick
continued on pg 18)
Impellezzeris Pizza: A Far Cry From Your Usual Take-Out by Beth Ann Rubin
Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in fve languages. Her frst novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians
and Other Grownups, can be purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is mmmarie1961@aol.com.
KISSES by Marie Davis is sponsored by Highland Chiropractic | Dr. Charles Copeland, DC
To request your frst appointment with Dr. Copeland, visit www.HighlandChirorpactic.com
18 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM OCTOBer 2010
The String
Set in arid Tunisia, tall, quiet Malik (Antonin Stahly-
Vishwanadan), a 30-year-old Parisian architect,
returns to his homeland after the death of his father.
He’s greeted warmly by his over-bearing, petulant
mother (Cardinale) and is immediately confronted
with her expectation that he stay and get married.
The now strange world of his youth, his mother’s
pressure and his barely hidden homosexuality set
off anxiety attacks in Malik, who fnally fnds relief
when he meets the darkly handsome handyman,
Balil (Salim Kechiouche). They begin a tentative
relationship, but Islamic mores, a still class conscience
society, and the ever-presence of his mother threaten
their young love.
The String is a forbidden love story as well as a
character study of people lost in rapidly changing
cultures. Don’t miss this engaging, insightful and
undeniably sexy drama, which is available for rent
at Wild & Woolly Video, 1021 Bardstown Road
in Louisville. (French and Arabic with English
Kentuckiana Agencies
Respond To Bullying,
Suicide Crisis
To respond to the current anti-
gay bullying and suicide crisis,
10 community agencies from
throughout Metro Louisville will
come together on Friday, October
15. The forum, which is free and
open to the public, will take place
beginning at 4:00pm at Metro
United Way, 334 East Broadway,
in the Community Meeting Room.
Louisville Youth Group (LYG) is
serving as the lead agency of this
According to Donald Taylor,
LYG Executive Director, “Through
the conversation at the forum, we
hope to explore the services and
resources available to respond
appropriately (and proactively) to
anti-gay bullying, answer questions
the community may have and
explore a "next step" to ensure that
Louisville does not experience such
a tragic end to anti-gay bullying.”
For more information write to:
sauce was offset by the boldness of the
meatballs. The four large meatballs
were not too dense and delivered a
perfect accompaniment to the pasta.
There are three different pizza crust
options, each with a different price:
original crust, Sicilian deep dish and
thin New York style. All are made daily
in the kitchen.
There are ten specialty pizzas from
which you can choose or you can
make your own from a variety of
meat and vegetable options. I have to
mention the one specialty that stands
out from the menu and that would be
the Impellezeri’s “Super” Pizza which
weighs about 12 pounds. Consisting of
pepperoni, Italian sausage, meatballs,
ham, mushrooms, green peppers,
onions, black and green olives and
banana peppers, this will set you back
$49.99 and a wait time of a little over
an hour. There is no serving size but
suffce it to say it should be enough for
your entire table.
My co-diners went with the original
crust and split a medium pizza ($14.99
plus additional toppings) with half
cheese and half Italian sausage and
banana peppers. The crust was
reminiscent of the breadstix and was
substantial but not overbearing and
complimented the toppings quite well.
cont’d from pg 17
Billy Lucas
Asher Brown
Seth Walsh
Tyler Clementi
Raymond Chase
Caleb Nolt
May We Honor
Your Memory By
Working To End
Anti-Gay Bullying
OCTOBer 2010 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 19
20 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM OCTOBer 2010

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