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By Colton Juul
Chapter 1

Everything you've ever been told about history has been an outright lie put in place by the
communist. I am going to tell you the truth. The real truth. This is the story of the
discovery of America. You've been told that Christopher Columbus discovered America.
That is one of the biggest communist cover-ups of all time. The truth is I discovered
America. They named it after me back when my nickname was America. The truth about
Christopher Columbus is that he was not an explorer but he was in fact a evil pirate king.
The ship we all know as the Santa Maria was not a ship but a giant flying time traveling
castle. He had actually come from the year 3010, which explains why he had such
advanced technology. His minions were all clones of Gary Busy. They had light sabers
and rode upon flying sharks. He was truly a worthy opponent. The story I am about to tell
is the true story of the events of that fateful day.

Chapter 2

It was the year 1492. My Squad and me had just set foot on the shores of the new world.
That very moment we heard massive rumbling coming from the sky. I turned to see a
massive castle descending from the clouds. Large doors on the sides of the castle opened
unleashing an army of flying bull sharks all being ridden by Gary Busy. I turned back to
our UH-1 Iroquois helicopter. The radio was requesting that I answer immediately. I
picked up the receiver and said this is Col. Juul who is this? The man on the other side
was none other than George bush. He was giving me a presidential order to destroy that
castle. I gave him a crisp YES SIR! And told my men to gear up. The men In my Squad
was chuck Norris, Pvt. Snoball from full metal jacket, George Washington, and bill from
L4D. We loaded our backpacks and racked or m16's. We hopped in the chopper and took
to the sky.

Chapter 3

We were now inbound to the castle. Our mission was to land on the castle, work our way
to the very center and plant a tactical nuke, and escape before the castle is completely
destroyed along with the next 25-mile radius. We were closing on the castle when a pack
of flying bull sharks attacked our helicopter. I ran into the cabin and opened the side
door. I loaded the 50 caliber heavy machine gun and pulled the charging handle. I opened
fire on the nearest shark. I first killed the rider than fired at the shark. It flew
uncontrollably until it exploded when it collided with another shark. I kept shooting and
didn't let go of the trigger. Hundreds of them were coming at us and swarming our
helicopter. One got through and bit our tail roter off. The chopper was spinning out of
control toward the castle wall. The wall was getting closer and closer when we finally hit
and then everything went black.
Chapter 4

I awoke inside the smoldering wreckage of the helicopter. It turns out the helicopter had
crashed clean through the wall of the castle and into a massive hallway. I looked around
inside the helicopter. We had to get out quickly before the helicopter exploded. Chuck
roundhouse kicked the door off the helicopter. George and bill followed him out. I
grabbed my m16 and my pack and followed behind them. Chuck grabbed the 50 cal off
of it's mount and slung the massive weapon on his back. Before we moved out I took a
roll call. Everyone answered except Pvt.Snoball. I checked back inside the helicopter.
There he was dead in the pilots seat. He had died on impact. I took his dog tags and
ammo. I gave the order to move and cautiously continued down the massive hallway. It
was dark the only light was coming from lit torches that lined the walls. We walked
slowly. We heard pirate chanting and the song known as "yo ho" echo through the halls.
We came to a massive set of wooden doors. They were so massive you could fit a
building through them. I told George to rig the door and prepare to breach. He rigged a
small portion of the door with C4. Moments later he gave the thumbs up. We stacked up
on the door and prepared to breach. I pulled the trigger on the detonator and in an instant
we created a new door. When we went through the door. we couldn't believe what we
saw. We stood in complete amazement unable to speak.

Chapter 5

We stood in awe. It was a massive chamber 500 miles in length. It was filled completely
with treasures from around the world. We proceeded down a path leading toward the
center of the chamber. We could feel it getting hotter and light at the end of the path that
was getting brighter and brighter as we progresses down the path. After 3 days of walking
we finally made it to the center of the chamber. The heat was unbearable, the light was
nearly blinding. That’s when I realized it was a massive star. I turned to tell bill but it was
too late. He stepped on tile that triggered a huge rumbling. I wasn't sure what was
happening until I saw gold coins rolling past my feet and into the abyss where the star
was. I then realized that the floor was steadily inclining. I yelled RUN!!! We began
dodging huge boxes of gold as the slid past us. Golden statues and chest were coming at
us quick. The floor had gone from a moderate incline to something similar to a steep hill.
It was almost too steep to walk up. We pulled out our climbing picks and began scaling
the new wall. I looked below me and all of the treasure was falling into the sun. We were
in trouble. Treasure was still falling past us barely missing us. I could see the top of the
wall. It was only 400 yards away. We kept going. When a chest of gold slammed into my
left arm and caused me loose grip on the pick. I'm now hanging on with only my right
arm. I reach back up for my left pick when a gold sword falls past me and slices my arm.
I cringed in pain but reached back up again and gripped the pick. I started climbing again.
I'm only 15 feet from the top now. Most of the treasure is gone now and has been
destroyed in the star. I threw my right foot on the top of wall and lifted the rest of my
body up. I lied on the ground relieved that we all had made it and trying to catch my
breath. I look over and see a set of large doors made of pure white marble.
Chapter 6

We clambered toward the door. It

opened before us revealing a hall of marble and pure marble stairs that ascended a million
feet into the upper levels of the castle. We started up the stairs at first moving quickly but
after hours of climbing we began to tire. Christopher Columbus was waiting for us at the
top. He let out an evil pirate cackle and pulled a lever. We felt rumbling. The massive
stone columns on both sides of us began to crumble and reform. They transformed into
massive stone monsters. We leveled our weapons and fired at the nearest one. The 5.56
rounds fired from our m16s had virtually no affect on the stone giants. Chuck unslung the
50. Caliber machinegun of his back. He pulled the charging handle and leveled the
massive weapon. He pulled the trigger and unleashed a spray of lead into the giants. It
was tearing them to peaces. I yelled run. We all took off up the stairs. Hundreds of the
stone monsters were behind us now. Massive chunks of them were flying off of them as
the slugs smashed into them. I reached my arms behind my back and pulled a satchel
charge out of my pack and primed it. I threw it 100 yards ahead of us on the stairs in front
of us. I flipped the safety cap on the remote detonator as I was running. We were closing
in on it now. I put my finger on the trigger as we got closer and closer. Chuck yelled
"EMPTY" as he dropped the now overheated and out of ammo machine-gun. We passed
the charge. I pulled the trigger and the massive explosion ensued. We were thrown 100
feet as the bridge of stair crumbled and fell taking the rock monsters with it.

Chapter 7

We came to. The explosion had thrown my team up to top of the stairs. I got on one knee
and took a look around. We were in a massive atrium that reminded me of the layout of a
church. We stood up and that's when I heard the laugh. I quick turn to meet eyes with the
pirate king himself. Christopher Columbus. We stood staring each other down. Watching,
waiting, planning. In a split second we took cover and leveled our m16s. Chuck had only
his colt 45. But don't think that makes him any less deadly. We had already put 150
rounds in Christopher direction. He pulled out his lightsaber and deflected them all. He
arched his fist back and slams into the ground and the shock wave sends us all flying. I
get back up as bill threw a grenade Christopher kicks it back into the air causing rubble to
fall from the ceiling. The stones effectively sealed Christopher and me from the rest of
my team. It was just him and me now. I charged toward him as I prepared to butt-stroke
him with my rifle. When reach him with one arm he stops my swing and takes my rifle
and smashes it in front of me. I pulled me K Bar (knife) from my H harness. And lunged
at him. I tackled him and brought him to the ground. I hammer fisted his hand until he
released the lightsaber and elbowed him in the face with my right arm. We grappled and
rolled until I got control. I continuously slammed the bottom of my knife handle into his
face. He was beginning to show signs of fatigue. A flipped the knife around in my hand
so now the blade was aimed down. I brought it down toward his upper chest with all my
strength but he caught my arm. We struggled for a moment but his strength began to fail
and I slowly and surely brought the knife down. It came slowly close to his body. And
then it penetrated the top layers of skin. Inch by inch I sunk it deeper into his body until
finally he gave in. In the last moments of his life He whispered to me. "Never let go".
Chapter 8

I got up pulled my knife from his chest and walked away. By that time my team had
cleared some of the rubble and made it back to me. We pulled out our map of the castle
and according to it we were in the dead center. I told George to prepare the package. He
pulled the tactical nuke out of his bag and began entering the activation code. While he
was doing that I was checking the map for our escape route. It looked if we followed the
next hall strait down it would take us to the shark stables where we could ride one of
those sharks out of here. I bomb beeped with approval as the code was successfully
entered. I matched watches stopwatch feature with the timer on the bomb. We had 25
minutes to get out. We started down the hallway at a light jog. We were nearing the
stables when George took point. According to the map after this set of doors we'd have
100 more yards then we'd be at the stables. George proceeded to open the doors when
they flew open. On the other side was an army a man-sized crabs with scorpion tails. The
one the opened the door in front of George grabbed him and began stabbing him with his
stinger. He threw him to the side and the other crabs began eating him alive. As he was
screaming we took off running. We had no idea where we were or where we were going.
We were just running down random halls trying to escape the crabs, which were right
behind us. I turned around to look and the crabs. They were on our heels climbing on the
ceiling, walls, and floor. We came to an empty room with spiral stairs in the center. I
closed the door behind us and put a board across it. We knew it wouldn't hold long so we
went up the spiral stairs. It took us at least 10 minutes to climb the stairs. When we got up
to the top we realized we were at the top of the highest tower of the castle. We were
trapped like rats with no route of escape. Millions of crabs were now scaling the tower. I
looked at my watch. We had 10 minutes left. Our odds of survival just got very slim.

Chapter 9

I looked down at the millions of crabs coming up the side of the tower. I pulled out my
colt 45. From my holster. I turned and looked at chuck and bill. I gave them one long
look and said, "no one lives for ever men. Prepare to defend yourselves." bill still had his
m16 he leaned over the railing and started killing the crabs. Me and chuck did the same
with our pistols. One came over the side of the railings. Chuck roundhouse kicked the
crab and it exploded when his foot made contact with its face. I reloaded my pistol and
continued to fire. I hit one several times and it fell and collided with several crabs below
it. I looked at my watch. 4:30 was on the readout. I knew we didn't have much time left. I
was out of ammo and hope. I was ready to give up when I heard a whizzing noise. I
looked up and saw 2 AGM 14 missiles slam into the side if the tower killing hundreds of
the crabs. And out of nowhere, to our rescue came Sean Connery riding a giant flying
stingray with missile pods attached to its wings. He pulled up to us and said "gett on
comrade!!” Chuck and me jumped on and yelled to bill that was still shooting. He
dropped his rifle and ran to us, but when he jumped a crab grabbed his ankle and pulled
him back as hundreds of crabs overran the tower. Chuck wanted to help him. I held him
back and said he was gone. I looked at my watch. : 30 seconds left. I told Sean to step on
it. We sped away. 25 seconds later we were well out of the blast radius. I turned to watch
the mushroom cloud. It was beautiful. An entire 25 miles destroyed by the fury of a small
sun in a matter of seconds. I turned to Sean to ask how he knew we were in trouble. His
answer was" I jusst hadd a feeling, lad.” my only reply was "let's go home, boys"


Over the course of the next week we attended a presidential award ceremony. Me and
chuck stood at attention in our Marine Corp dress uniforms. President Bush pinned the
Congressional Medal of Honor our chests shook each of our hands. The next day I gave
three flags to three sobbing wives. This is the true story of the discovery of America. The
greatest battle the world has ever seen.

The End

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