This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
BY Simon Pegg and Nick Frost
EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT Caption: Bethlehem Creek, Wyoming 10:19pm 28/07/47 The air is filled with the sounds of a warm, summer night. A light comes on in a FARMHOUSE window. The door opens, a small dog and a young girl emerge. GIRL Go on now Paul, don’t be long. The dog trots out across the property. It stops to scratch. The sounds of night cease. The dog stops scratching, sniffing the air, cocking its head, sensing something. We hear a low humming sounds. The dog looks up. We see a soft orange glow reflected in its eyes. The dog whimpers Back at the farmhouse, a deep, dull thud shakes the ground, bringing the small girl back out onto the veranda. An orange glow pulsates somewhere out in the darkness. GIRL Paul... Paul? The girl draws near, illuminated by the orange glow. Paul?! GIRL
The glow fades again. MUSIC: “The Boy In The Bubble” by Paul Simon. Title: PAUL EXT. SAN DIEGO STREET. PRESENT - DAY GRAHAM WILLY (32) and CLIVE GOLLINGS (33) stand in the blazing San Diego sunshine, waiting to cross the road. GRAHAM is thin but his clothes seem too small. He has long greasy hair, buck teeth and thick glasses. CLIVE is bigger and wears a long black leather coat, Red Dwarf T-shirt and boots. His hair is densely curly and shaped like a pyramid. Four people dressed as BORG from Star Trek pass by. GRAHAM and CLIVE shrug derisively. The cross-walk beeps. As the music kicks in, GRAHAM and CLIVE set off across the road towards the San Diego Convention Centre. They make their way through a throng of costumed Comic-Con attendees. INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. CONVENTION FLOOR - LATER GRAHAM and CLIVE are at a fantasy weapons stand. CLIVE is brandishing a KATANA SWORD. He test the balance, the weight, the sharpness. He closes one eye and looks down the length of the blade. He nods appreciatively.
CLIVE Beautiful piece. VENDER Damn straight. Practical performance. 100% Japanese, folded steel. Real hero shit. How much? $1,349.99. CLIVE VENDER
CLIVE nods, puts the sword down and walks away. GRAHAM Aren’t you gonna get it? CLIVE No, it’s rubbish. INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. SIGNING PAVILLION - DAY We see them on an escalator, walking down a wide corridor, passing people in a variety of costumes. Finally, they join a line of people waiting to meet the actor, MICHAEL BIEHN. GRAHAM What are you going to ask? CLIVE Do you feel that the killing of Hicks and Newt in Alien 3, invalidates Ripley’s struggle at the closed of the previous installment? GRAHAM I was going to ask that! CLIVE (in Klingon) Tough tits four eyes. SECURITY Alright, next! Suddenly nervous, GRAHAM approaches. MICHAEL BIEHN is signing pictures. He is pleasant, if business like. MICHAEL BIEHN Hey there. Who’s it to? Graham. GRAHAM
CLIVE points at SECURITY. are you.. are you.... CLIVE takes the shot. CLIVE approaches.. did you? MICHAEL BIEHN There you go. SECURITY moves GRAHAM on. SECURITY You can take it from there. very unaffected. Damn.3. with MICHAEL BIEHN barely visible in the background. GRAHAM Uh. I was actually a bit nervous. CLIVE MICHAEL BIEHN CLIVE Uh. I need to photograph him.. We see a frozen image of CLIVE and GRAHAM.. The pair move off. MICHAEL BIEHN Hey there.. SECURITY moves CLIVE on. CLIVE Really? I wasn’t. CLIVE scrambles for his camera. GRAHAM Good egg. GRAHAM/CLIVE (high fiving) YES! GRAHAM That was amazing.. . CLIVE I. Clive. I forgot to give him my card. wasn’t he? CLIVE Yes. did you? MICHAEL BIEHN There you go.. CLIVE and GRAHAM huddle together and try to position themselves with MICHAEL BIEHN in the background. MICHAEL BIEHN Graham. Who’s it to? Clive. looking at their spoils.
4. A banner hangs behind. I never noticed the third tit. CLIVE Nah. it’s very impressive. GRAHAM Give it to Colossus. PUBLICIST Ladies man. Hey. PUBLICIST Looks good. INT. A lanky publicist paces up and down. She lashes at the beast with a laser whip. a muscular green woman in a gold bikini rides a blue rhino. CLIVE That was Graham’s idea. On either side of them are stacks of their new book. PUBLICIST It really does the image justice. She has three tits. making sure everything is in order. SIGNING PAVILLION . A what? Fat coke. displaying the tome’s cover. CLIVE PUBLICIST CLIVE Yes please. huh? You guys happy? You got enough pens? You wanna Snapple? You wanna a Diet Coke? CLIVE I’ll have a fat Coke please? PUBLICIST A fat what? Coke. CLIVE PUBLICIST Oh you man a FAT Coke. . JELVA ALIEN QUEEN OF THE VARVAK. right? CLIVE Yes. Rosario Dawson’s here! GRAHAM She NEEDS to call me. CONVENTION CENTRE.LATER GRAHAM and CLIVE sit at a table fiddling nervously with pens.
CLIVE Oh man! I wanted to go to that . Please. CLIVE Why is it so quiet? PUBLICIST Sylar’s doing a Q and A in the main pavillion. three tits.5. Awesome. we have a great story and as usual your renderings jump from the page. GRAHAM CLIVE All we have to do now is sit back and enjoy. CLIVE PUBLICIST It’ll pick up when he’s done. A child approaches. PUBLICIST I can make a call. GRAHAM When do we start? PUBLICIST Ten minutes ago. CHILD Thanks. The hard work’s done. Hey. Three tits. Thank you. PUBLICIST Yeah man. CLIVE Don’t be. Awesome. GRAHAM I’m nervous. CLIVE Queen Jelva welcomes thee. . I wanted to find out if he actually eats the brains. CHILD Do you know where Sylar’s on? CLIVE Main pavillion.
CLIVE Yeah. that’s the hour. CLIVE looks a little downbeat. It’s a sleeper. The PUBLICIST walks away chuckling. CLIVE sips from a Jack Daniels and Coke. CONVENTION CENTRE. SIGNING PAVILLION . PUBLICIST Don’t sweat it. INT. GRAHAM That’s sick. INT.LATER Caption: 50 MINUTES LATER They are sat in exactly the same position as before. How’d we do? CLIVE Three copies. CLIVE winks at a girl. BAR . PUBLICIST Hey. CLIVE Graham. I need a drink. but three copies? PUBLICIST Better than Carl Weathers. HOTEL. Maybe you should have given her four.6. GRAHAM fidgets with his pens. . one for each tit. PUBLICIST Okay. Everyone else in the bar is dressed as a HOBBIT. GRAHAM drinks and elaborate blue cocktail through a straw. YES! CLIVE GRAHAM Would you like a copy? PUBLICIST Are you nuts? My office is full of junk.NIGHT GRAHAM and CLIVE are stood against the wall in a bar.
CLIVE (O. Graham. His hair is wet and suddenly incredibly long.. are you excited about going to Area 51? Hell yes.7. CLIVE . HOTEL.30 check out? CLIVE A-ffirmative. The room is plunged into pitch darkness. Other maps are scattered about. GRAHAM Are you asleep? No.) It was like the Prancing Pony in there. CLIVE GRAHAM 06. A few seconds pass. INT. GRAHAM Good night. GRAHAM CLIVE Good night. a large animal tooth hangs on a black leather cord. CLIVE emerges from the bathroom.S. BEDROOM . Clive. Beep. GRAHAM and CLIVE both look at their watches. CLIVE Three.. Beep. one.NIGHT GRAHAM and CLIVE’s hotel room is filled with bags of stuff from the convention. GRAHAM Nasty Hobbitses. CLIVE They switch off their respective bedside lights. CLIVE They think they’re so cool. He is naked but for a black towel wrapped around his waist. two. Around his neck. GRAHAM lies on his bed. a laptop computer and a games console plugged into the TV. He is looking at a map. GRAHAM Hey.
Oh. Still looks good. that’s ours. Imperial. A tiny old car splutters up to the curb. GRAHAM and CLIVE can be heard whooping within. His head hits the bell. GRAHAM lolls forward onto the reception desk. CLIVE INT. A valet gets out and hands the keys to CLIVE. VALET Fucking Borg. VALET GRAHAM and CLIVE run off toward the RV. RECEPTION .8. HOTEL. DING! EXT. We see them from across the road. No? VALET CLIVE No. Cover me. .MORNING GRAHAM and CLIVE stand at reception. GRAHAM Shall we try and storm the Citadel before we nod off? CLIVE Couldn’t hurt could it? We hear some movement then the room is illuminated by the TV. HOTEL . GRAHAM That’s not ours. waiting for their transport. Top of the range in its day. Both look extremely sleepy.MORNING The boys stand. CLIVE’s eyes close. The four BORG from the previous day approach the VALET and exchange the key to the car for some small change. VALET There you go. The BORG drive off. The boys lie on their beds holding games controllers. A 1985 Holiday Rambler. A large RV pulls up. (giving the finger) Assimilate this! The RV speeds past the disgruntled VALET.
9. number one. GRAHAM Any solids? CLIVE No. “take the helm. number one. he now wears black wrap-around shades. GRAHAM flicks on the coffee and jumps into the co-pilot’s (Chewie) seat. eh? .” They laugh heartily.” GRAHAM “Take the helm.MORNING CLIVE is seated behind the wheel of their RV. Now. Miles make the eggs taste sweeter.” CLIVE Yeah. Through this. RV . INT. Straight up. I could take over if you needed the loo. GRAHAM ‘Least I’ve got Cerebro. CLIVE Yeah. That way. GRAHAM Good job I pre-pared. In the back of the RV. let’s punch through. get that ‘Joe’ on the go and jump in the Chewie seat. Breakfast? GRAHAM CLIVE Java. I could say “take the helm. GRAHAM It’s a shame I don’t have some controls on this side. GRAHAM fusses with maps and provisions. I need a number two. GRAHAM I love eggs! CLIVE I hear that. I need your map skills. GRAHAM has been taking out his laptop and setting it up on the dash board.
GRAHAM GRAHAM sends the map back up into the roller. INT/EXT. Sorry.10. RV . GRAHAM has finished a plate of prawns. Real-time sat-nav multi map and advanced geo-tagging with continual info stream? GRAHAM Impressive. CLIVE appears very uneasy. GRAHAM pulls a map down. we’ve always got Analogue. I’m a wreck until I’ve had my first cup of J. surveying the landscape. The coffee percolator gurgles in the galley. A perky waitress approaches. CLIVE Most impressive.DAY GRAHAM and CLIVE eat lunch. Obscuring the entire windshield. CLIVE Absolutely.DAY They drive in silence. INT. DINER . GRAHAM high fives CLIVE and heads back into the kitchen. CLIVE Thank god. CLIVE Not when we’re driving Graham. GRAHAM Sounds like coffee o’clock. WAITRESS You boys all set? Can I get you anything else? GRAHAM spills his drink. GRAHAM And let’s not forget. GRAHAM and CLIVE become shy and awkward. . GRAHAM Looks like a pile of dead droids. He inspects the shells.
EVENING GRAHAM and CLIVE tuck into burgers.734. Where is everybody? GRAHAM What about that old woman on crutches we saw hitchhiking? CLIVE Apart from her.134 people in this country and we haven’t seen a soul for a hundred miles. (female. They are the only customers. GRAHAM Far from prying eyes.” . 50s) the proprietor. PAT “Watch The Skies” or “Alien Onboard?” GRAHAM and CLIVE look at each other for a few seconds before looking back at PAT.11. THE LITTLE A’LE’INN. PAT. due to its remoteness. Oh. BAR . I suppose that’s why they established the Dreamland facility out here. CLIVE Amazing. GRAHAM/CLIVE “Alien Onboard. GRAHAM CLIVE GRAHAM Shall we have a bite before or after we hit the Black Mailbox? Before. CLIVE Did you know the site was selected in the mid-1950s for testing of the U-2 spyplane. CLIVE INT. speaks to them from behind the counter. isn’t it? There are 295. She holds up two bumper stickers. The interior is replete with various Area 51 related memorabilia. proximity to existing facilities and presence of a dry lake bad for landings? Yes.
Comic-Con? GRAHAM PAT CLIVE How could you tell? We see GRAHAM and CLIVE looking back at PAT. where have you boys come from? (mumbly) San Diego. You heard of it. They look like the most painfully obvious Comic-Con attendees ever. CLIVE Do you get a lot of UFO types round here? We see PAT looking back at CLIVE. PAT Just a guess. PAT GRAHAM Have you ever seen one? PAT A UFO? Oh. PAT Well whaddya know? Small world. PAT Nice choice. a slight smile on her face. CLIVE Encounter Briefs? PAT That’s it. GRAHAM Really?! You’ve seen more than one UFOs? . I’ve seen plenty. So. huh? CLIVE I’ve got all six. My nephew launched a comic down there a couple of years ago. surrounded by UFO and alien paraphernalia. Sort of dramatized the accounts of some of the folk we’ve had in here.12. Some.
I can’t say. So as far as I’m concerned they’re unidentified and they were definitely flying.T. malt please? PAT You wanna sparkler in that? GRAHAM smiles coyly. sugar? GRAHAM Can I have an E. Be a shame if we were the only souls in the universe. don’t it? What? CLIVE PAT Where is everybody? GRAHAM and CLIVE ponder this. PAT CLIVE PAT Makes you think though. Oh. PAT Well. Whether or not they were spaceships. it’s estimated that there are as many as 200 billion galaxies in the observable universe and each of those has approximately 40 billion starts. How about you. Probably not. PAT Damn straight. . around which orbit countless planets and moons? Yes. I don’t know what they were. CLIVE Did you now. PAT You boys all set? CLIVE I’d like a cup of coffee please. CLIVE And objects. PAT Sure thing.13. but I’d like to think they were.
. CLIVE That is absolutely amazing! INT. He strides over to GRAHAM. PAT I’ll take that as a yes. CLIVE is quite taken with this.EVENING CLIVE appears out of the toilet with his hands in the air. an alien just sicked up into my palms. of course. shaped alien’s head. THE LITTLE A’LE’INN. GRAHAM and CLIVE are left alone. BAR .14. They take it all in. He pumps soap from a dispenser which is shaped like an alien’s head. GRAHAM They have a like an pump his his mouth. isn’t it? GRAHAM Absolutely. the soap squirts out of its mouth. The adjacent toilet door (GUS and JAKE) enter. JAKE PAT Coming right up. CLIVE doesn’t see the two men sat up at the counter. CLIVE I’m joking. soap dispenser.. what can I get you? Two beers. When you jaw. CLIVE I think I might use the loo. CLIVE Hey Graham. GRAHAM becomes uneasy.. PAT Yes dear. CLIVE walks through a door marked ‘Maliens’. INT. She beams at the boys and disappears into the kitchen. CLIVE It’s nice here. THE LITTLE A’LE’INN. TOILET .EVENING CLIVE washes his hands. full of excitement. soap comes out of (mumbling) Clive.
beers for you gentleman. remembering what he ordered. Long way to The Beehive. PAT I better make you something good and hot. one cup of coffee and an absurd looking milkshake in a tall glass with a sparkler. GRAHAM flicks his eyes to the counter. Gus. CLIVE immediately loses his confident air. .) Here it comes! GRAHAM closes his yes. where you boys headed? JAKE We’re heading into Utah. PAT give GRAHAM and CLIVE a look. CLIVE It’s hilarious. PAT So. coon. A cup of Joe and a extra thick malt with a sparkler for the boys from outer space. Two bottles of beer. They are glaring back. whatever steps in front of the bangstick. PAT (O. They nudge each other and laugh. right Jake? They throw a look back at GRAHAM and CLIVE. PAT Okay then. PAT Well now. Do ourselves some hunting. What? CLIVE CLIVE looks over and sees the two men. PAT senses the tension. beaver. JAKE You got that right.15. The two men turn to see PAT emerge from the kitchen with a tray of drinks.S. GUS That’s what we’re counting on. CLIVE understands and fumbles for hi wallet. GUS Deer. I heard Utah beaver puts up quite a fight. The man snigger derisively.
THE LITTLE A’LE’INN . CLIVE What took you so long? GRAHAM I was putting the sticker on. They scan the roadside for a few seconds. He places a number of bills on the table. dented.NIGHT GRAHAM looks at a map. GRAHAM What’s the matter? CLIVE Nothing. PAT gives him a wink. INT/EXT. mean.16. RV . CLIVE They were an odd pair. shiny. He leaves. CRUNCH.EVENING GRAHAM boards the RV. leaving the car park and the black Lincoln Escalade. RV . How we doing? GRAHAM We should be just about there. INT/EXT. GRAHAM comes back in and retrieves the bumper sticker. CLIVE fires up the engine and jams it into reverse. continually checking his rear view. CLIVE is in the driver’s seat. weren’t they? GRAHAM Definitely didn’t speak Bocci.EVENING The RV roars off. CLIVE I’ve found it. They leave. Where? GRAHAM . The engine is running. CLIVE drives. CLIVE EXT. GRAHAM (CONT’D) That wasn’t their truck was it? No.
NIGHT The RV comes to a screeching halt. imagine if we got buzzed up by a craft. Area 51. GRAHAM and CLIVE marvel at it. I like it. GRAHAM Yes. before it trundles onto the hard shoulder. It sits in the road for a moment. GRAHAM and CLIVE appear wearing head mounted torches. I made it up myself. The door opens. CLIVE It’s amazing. They wander over to a WHITE mailbox. CLIVE MacArthur’s Black Mile. CLIVE THERE!!! EXT. . Whoosh. It just sort of stops in the air and hovers then just goes up really fast. GRAHAM CLIVE GRAHAM The Groom Lake Military Test Facility. isn’t it? We’re actually here. They look up. The silence of the night and the size of the landscape dawns on them. GRAHAM/CLIVE (reverentially) The Black Mailbox. Dreamland.17. GRAHAM CLIVE Be great if we saw something. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY . GRAHAM Is that a real one? CLIVE No. CLIVE That would be incredible.
HEADLIGHTS. Perhaps whoever it was turned doff. GRAHAM Perhaps it’s not them. GRAHAM I don’t want my arms broken! CLIVE There’s only one thing for it. In the dashboard of the RV is a rear view monitor. RV . I don’t know how but they found us. We’re dead. CLIVE Of course it’s them. They come in peace. CLIVE Who? Who’s found us? GRAHAM The Libyans! CLIVE Run for it Marty! GRAHAM and CLIVE scramble for the RV.18. wide eyed. What? GRAHAM CLIVE I’m gonna have to fly blind. INT. CLIVE What’s wrong? GRAHAM points off into the distance. . First contact is a big responsibility.NIGHT CLIVE drives. It’s like Deliverance. GRAHAM It’s them. GRAHAM looks nervous. They look at it intently. we go to pieces? That’s not how I roll. GRAHAM What would you do if they actually landed? CLIVE Keep it together. CLIVE looks at GRAHAM who is staring off. They found us. They’re going to rape us and break our arms.
The headlights come back on.19. GRAHAM and CLIVE stare in horror. The toilet flushes and GRAHAM reappears. CLIVE They’re trying to overtake. Suddenly. CLIVE Oh God. oh God. oh God. CLIVE I can hold mine. their eyes widen as the car flips over and tumbles several times. creeping up the rear of the RV. GRAHAM Don’t let them get past. headlights. Me too. causing the RV to swerve. CLIVE remains int he driving seat. bouncing across the asphalt and sliding to a smoking stop on its roof. GRAHAM I need the toilet. staring out at the mangled Sedan. CLIVE The vehicle behind pulls out to overtake. CLIVE kills the headlights. GRAHAM and CLIVE peer out of the window. GRAHAM’s mouth hangs open. The RV pulls up to the crashed vehicle and stops. CLIVE blinks. CLIVE Should I ram them? GRAHAM What about the deposit? CLIVE gingerly jerks the wheel. still travelling at 65mph. The front of a car becomes visible. CLIVE It wasn’t them. They stare at the monitor. I couldn’t really see anything. GRAHAM goes to the back of the RV and into the toilet. CLIVE We should see if they’re okay. A BLACK SEDAN car appears next to them. . They are plunged into darkness. CLIVE Probably best not to do that. manoeuvering wildly to avoid the RV. GRAHAM I still need a wee.
GRAHAM and CLIVE spin round to see an indistinct figure sitting on a rock in the nearby darkness. Without the slightest change of expression CLIVE rocks backwards in a dead faint.NIGHT GRAHAM and CLIVE step out of the RV and approach the car.) I wouldn’t do that if I were you. GRAHAM The bulb’s gone in there. ALIEN Put . GRAHAM looks at CLIVE then back at the ALIEN. VOICE (O. is an ALIEN. GRAHAM passes the phone over. clad only in cut-off short and flip-flops. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY .20. When GRAHAM speaks his voice quivers with hysterical panic. GRAHAM and CLIVE go slack. How may I direct your call? Hello? Hello? GRAHAM and CLIVE continue to gawp. black eyes. GRAHAM Maybe you should call for help. I wouldn’t do that. CLIVE continues to hold the phone to his ear. VOICE Seriously..S. Hello? CLIVE They wait for a few seconds. We hear the operator. OPERATOR 911 Emergency. He hits the ground with a bump. GRAHAM pulls out a cell phone and starts to dial. GRAHAM and CLIVE gawp. EXT. give me the phone. The shape stand and steps into the light. Graham. CLIVE I rather think these men need help.. The glow of a cigarette briefly lights up what appear to be two large. One door is open. Nothing.down. GRAHAM What have you done to him? . GRAHAM’s mouth falls open.the phone . Inside are three unconscious men. Standing in front of them.
I just need your help. focus okay? I promise you I won’t hurt you. Okay I did. GRAHAM Yes but you made him faint. As a rule. ALIEN I didn’t do anything. What? GRAHAM ALIEN It’s just a theory. ALIEN GRAHAM How come I can understand you? Are you using some sort of neural language router? . GRAHAM You need my help? Yes.21. Can you get this guy back onto your wagon? GRAHAM Are you going to probe us? ALIEN No! Where does that come from? Why do people always assume we want to stick something up their ass? Don’t you? GRAHAM ALIEN No. Listen. ALIEN I did not. we don’t even abduct. He fainted. GRAHAM You’ve got a phaser!? ALIEN No! Look. I need you to help. but it’s not like i set my phaser to ‘Faint’. Maybe people find it easier to deal with earthly transgressions if they suppress it with absurd fantasies about alien probing. There’s certainly nothing about it in the encounter manual.
pleading.22. Look. ALIEN What about him? GRAHAM That’s the writer. His large head tilts to one side. his long fingers clasp together. what’s your name? GRAHAM Graham Willy. ALIEN Well. It stands at roughly 3 feet tall. okay? GRAHAM looks at the ALIEN. (off GRAHAM’s expression) Sorry. Please. you’re just gonna have to trust me. let’s get Clive into the RV and get going. GRAHAM considers the ALIEN for a moment. ALIEN No. I’m speaking English you prick. his small mouth opens slightly. GRAHAM Where are we going? North. ALIEN GRAHAM The RV’s gotta be back in 2 days. aren’t we? ButGRAHAM ALIEN Look Graham. His black almond shaped eye glint. then we’re gonna have to hustle. Thank you. Okay then. ALIEN Please man. I’m tense. GRAHAM ALIEN Great. GRAHAM What’s your name? . ALIEN Well. I need you. Clive Gollings. I’ll explain everything on the way.
. Graham. The door shuts. PAUL senses something. PAUL Not when we’re driving. Great! GRAHAM PAUL PAUL starts to dangle strips of sandwich ham into his mouth. PAUL is hunting around in the fridge..NIGHT GRAHAM drives. RV . PAUL Could have been worse.. He rips the bumper sticker off and gets back on board. agitated. They attempt to move CLIVE. PAUL (CONT’D) Oh man.. INT/EXT.23. Do you have a map? GRAHAM pulls the map. The RV starts up and drives off. It obscures the wind shield. GRAHAM Paul? Where am I going again? PAUL I told you. He looks behind him a couple of times. has he. North. Now let’s get Cloverfield onto the recreational vehicle and get the fuck off MacArthur’s Black Mile. Know what I’m saying? They drag him into the RV. yes.. Paul? PAUL Yeah. ALIEN GRAHAM I’m Paul. GRAHAM appears and runs round to the back of the RV. a few seconds later.? GRAHAM I told him he should have gone. wolfing it down hungrily. PAUL Can I have this ham? Uh.
Sir? CAPTAIN ZOIL Talk to me. The map disappears back up into the roller.NIGHT We hear the noise of engines. We need to get as much distance as we can between us and them. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Twinkie. He returns to his car and hits a button on the dash. CAPTAIN What’s this? The CAPTAIN motions to a patch of moisture near his feet. He looks around. ZOIL touches the wet patch and licks his finger. focused. ZOIL Anyone else? No sir. A suited man gets out of a Sedan car. then boots on concrete as a dozen soldiers rush the area. A SOLDIER approaches. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY . The shot remains at his hip. attending the crash. ZOIL stands. He unwraps it and brings it up to his mouth. full of purpose. Chiselled. CAPTAIN Three survivors. CAPTAIN ZOIL looks into the sky and breathes in the night air. company men. GRAHAM Them? Who’s them? EXT. hurt but alive.24. This is SPECIAL AGENT ZOIL. then notices tire tracks in the dust by the side of the road. It’s neither of those things. Sorry. GRAHAM PAUL Just head North. We don’t see his face at first. We follow and see his face for the first time. CAPTAIN What is it sir? Brake fluid? Gas? ZOIL No. . confident.
VOICE Lock down the area. Zoil.. sir. VOICE What’s the situation? ZOIL We have a guest who’s left the hotel without paying. among other things. . he’s still here.. I’d bet my left nut that little bastard’s hitched a ride. Road blocks. NORAD would have picked up a bogie. Tire tracks. No sir. I want this wrapped up before Letterman. sir. What? VOICE ZOIL Tire tracks. Maybe. for how long? VOICE Don’t you think this is all a bit of a coincidence? How so? ZOIL VOICE I signed the red document this morning.25. Those guys can track Santa. VOICE Damn it! Do you think he’s ‘left’ left? ZOIL Doubtful. Question is. You’re going to handle this personally. the whole nine yards. VOICE ZOIL Well he’s definitely got someone on the outside. Zoil. Don’t you think it’s odd that he chooses today to go AWOL? How did he know? ZOIL Are you suggesting he has someone on the inside. spot checks.
. The toilet flushes. NIGHT . . to. RV.. EXT/INT. The two of you laughing away like you haven’t seen each other since 1990. GRAHAM That’s molluscs. From the bathroom.. CLIVE can hear the sound of someone noisily emptying their bladder. PAUL spits a shell out into a cup. that. right? GRAHAM I usually bite them open. Shut up. PAUL I hate it when you get the closed ones. He notices his jeans have been pegged up to dry.A FEW HOURS LATER Close on the wheel. Pull out to reveal the RV. PAUL sits in the Chewie seat eating pistachios. like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Inside. Graham. PAUL The bulb's gone in there. CLIVE pretends to be asleep as the door opens.. A pair of skinny grey legs in cut-off shorts pass the bunk. (notices CLIVE) Hello Clive! How are you feeling? CLIVE I’m feeling like I’ve gone MENTAL MAD. He leans out to see GRAHAM in the driving seat. He creeps toward the front of the RV. GRAHAM drives. CLIVE’s eyes open. If that is your name? You’re happily sitting there chatting to. PAUL GRAHAM It’s true. then looks back at the bathroom door.26. CLIVE gets up silently and wraps his black towel around his middle. PAUL Are you fucking insane? You gotta tap ‘em and if they don’t open you throw them away.
CLIVE (CONT’D) So forgive me if I seem a little rattled but from where I’m standing it would appear you are trading nut knowledge with an alien life form. CLIVE How could he possibly have travelled that distance? Wormhole. like Madonna or Dracula. GRAHAM His name is Paul. You know. in unbelievable circumstances. the most plausible explanation is usually the truth. What about Ocham’s Razor? GRAHAM The hairdressers? CLIVE Yes. . GRAHAM Paul’s from a small planet in the northern spiral arm of the Andromeda Galaxy. this isn’t what it seems. CLIVE No he is not! PAUL I am man. PAUL And what’s the most plausible explanation. PAUL CLIVE Balls! Graham. the old man who owns it told me that. CLIVE Oh. Paul is it? Paul what? Paul Verhoven? Paul Freeman? Paul Reiser? PAUL Just Paul. Clive? CLIVE That you’re a thin midget in an alien costume. seriously.27.
you fucking psycho! EXCUSE ME! GRAHAM CLIVE releases PAUL and looks out of the RV to see the flashing lights of a road block. BANG! GRAHAM and CLIVE look to the door. . GRAHAM slows down. BANG. CLIVE Where’s he gone? GRAHAM Maybe he beamed up. We would have seen the classic shimmer and hum. Have you not seen The Station Agent? GRAHAM He’s right. He pulls at the alien’s skin. BANG. GRAHAM PAUL Get off me. Oh really? CLIVE (CONT’D) With this CLIVE grabs at PAUL. GRAHAM pulls the RV onto the hard shoulder. I think that’s less believable than Paul being form a planet in the norther spiral arm of the Andromeda Galaxy. PAUL Ow! Get off me! CLIVE You’re not real. trying to gain a hold of a mask. Oh shit! CLIVE CLIVE looks round to discover that PAUL has vanished.28. CLIVE As if. You’re not real! Excuse me. PAUL There’s no such thing as a thin midget? Those guys are built. GRAHAM Good point. Both terrified.
The AGENT smiles. CLIVE AGENT 1 Ah. (to AGENT 2) O’Reilly? Anything else? . G’day mate.NIGHT GRAHAM and CLIVE stand outside the RV being questioned by an AGENT dressed like ZOIL.S. DESERT ROAD . We can hear noise and activity from the RV. CLIVE/GRAHAM AGENT 1 You’re a long way from San Diego. HAGGARD No shit! How was he? CLIVE He was a good egg. AGENT 1 Whatcha doin’ in the US fellas? Comic-con.) Hey Haggard?! Yeah? HAGGARD O’REILLY appears at the door waving a 10x8” photograph. Another AGENT is aboard the RV. O’REILLY These guys have met Michael Biehn. HAGGARD That’s nice to hear. EXT. GRAHAM and CLIVE look terrified. AGENT 1 Is that right? AGENT 2 (O. CLIVE We were having a little drive.29. GRAHAM Very unaffected. AGENT 1 Where you boys from? Australia? Britain.
isn’t it? Is it? GRAHAM CLIVE Yes. CLIVE Than that’s what happened. RV . O’REILLY Just some pissy jeans. They see the RV swerve across the road in the distance before righting itself and continuing on its way.NIGHT The sound of screeching tires draws the attention of the two AGENTS. you guys can go. They are both confused and shaken. HAGGARD Okay. There is a slight pause. isn’t it? GRAHAM I suppose so. CLIVE Thank you. PAUL materializes from thin air behind them. the government used some sort of neurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox. INT/EXT.NIGHT GRAHAM and CLIVE pull away in silence. it’s pretty obvious what happened there. HAGGARD looks down at the towel wrapped around CLIVE’s waits.30. and it caused us to suffer a shared hallucination about an alien. it’s what we’ve always wanted. WRONG! PAUL EXT. May I ask what you’re searching for? HAGGARD Of course you may. GRAHAM and CLIVE board the RV. which was white by the way. I mean. DESERT ROAD . . CLIVE look embarrassed. CLIVE Well.
GRAHAM Like Predator? Exactly.31.DAYBREAK CLIVE drives in silence. Day is breaking over the horizon. you went invisible? PAUL It’s not invisibility per so. PAUL goes back to the galley. PAUL Hey. PAUL You sure? How about a cup of coffee? (sees he’s tempted) Come on Hulk. EXT. RV . GRAHAM wakes up with a start. INT. PAUL offers CLIVE a nut. INT.. It’s more like what a chameleon does with a little light blending thrown in for good measure. RV . PAUL GRAHAM Can you do it whenever you want? PAUL (Predator voice) Anytime. PAUL sits in the passenger seat eating nuts.. GRAHAM snoozes on the sofa. ROAD . CLIVE No thank you. look who’s up! . The RV guns up the road into the night. PAUL GRAHAM What.NIGHT CLIVE Where the hell did you go? Nowhere.NIGHT We hear GRAHAM squeal with delight. flicking GRAHAM on the nose as he passes. I’ll get you a nice cuppa J.
GRAHAM Tea’s a bit weird in America. making me coffee. PAUL returns with the coffee. PAUL And I appreciate the fact that I have somewhat gate-crashed the party here but. GRAHAM Did you want tea? CLIVE No. Clive. I really need your help. GRAHAM approaches CLIVE who ignores him. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this is probably the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you. there is a Grey in the galley. PAUL hand CLIVE his coffee. isn’t it? CLIVE No. You got it? It’s hot. what’s wried. I’m in a hell of a pickle. GRAHAM Hello Paul. PAUL Look Clive.32. GRAHAM looks at Paul and nods toward CLIVE. . PAUL PAUL CLIVE Yes I’ve got it. Am i right? CLIVE doesn’t deny it.. PAUL sighs and sits in the Chewie seat. truth be told. is that we have picked up an extra terrestrial hitch hiker and you seem completely fine with it! GRAHAM He needs our help. CLIVE (slightly testy) Thank you. GRAHAM hangs back. Graham. GRAHAM What’s the matter? CLIVE Graham.. I don’t want tea. GRAHAM and CLIVE curtail their conversation.
PAUL looks super-pleased. GRAHAM Clive. alien. Anti-grav failure. I’m a shit driver. fucking stupid. CLIVE Oh my God! Roswell?! That was you?! PAUL Roswell was a smoke-screen man. PAUL Also. CLIVE What about the RV? It has to be back in two days. designed to distract from the truth. CLIVE I suppose we could phone the hire company and get an extension. he’s an alien. breathing.33. CLIVE look at PAUL who makes a sad face and does the hand gesture from Close Encounters. CLIVE How did you get here? PAUL Crashed in ‘47. CLIVE wilts. CLIVE They invented a fake alien crash to distract from an actual alien crash? PAUL I know. GRAHAM Happens to the best of us. isn’t it? CLIVE What have you been doing here all this time? . A living. CLIVE PAUL Why us? Why not? CLIVE glances back at an expectant GRAHAM.
. less is more. GRAHAM Not just the government. kickin’ back. furnished with a table and chair. PAUL sits with his back to us.. It is strangely familiar. PAUL Oh you know. It’s the fucking V guys again. STEVEN SPIELBERG Oh right yeah.DAY CAPTION: 1980 A room lit by a single bulb.34. you know? Something sort of messianic. whilst talking on the phone. he is smoking a cigarette. The line beeps.I want him to have some kind of special power. Like by touch sort of thing? His little finger could light up at the end andPAUL You know what? Sometimes. INT. I. STEVEN SPIELBERG I don’t know what that is. Advising the government. STEVEN SPIELBERG . Steven.... PAUL Restoration of damaged tissue through telepathic manipulation of cellular intrinsic field memory... We hear the voice on the other end of the line.. shooting the shit. STEVEN SPIELBERG PAUL Healing.uh.. STEVEN SPIELBERG You got another call? PAUL Yeah I gotta take this man. PAUL How about molecular revivification. ROOM .
S.35.) CLIVE PAUL PAUL heads to the kitchen..S.. CLIVE PAUL (O. I’ll have half. PAUL (O. CLIVE looks miffed. What? Jelly. PAUL GRAHAM You’d be surprised how much he’s influenced popular culture generally over the last 60 years. RV . GRAHAM . CLIVE Go on then. PAUL You want a bagel Clive? No thanks. INT. Gotcha. .DAY Right. The boys drive in silence.while you were asleep.) You want anything on it? Jam. CLIVE (to GRAHAM) How come you know so much? GRAHAM We had quite a long chat while you were unconscious. Graham? CLIVE PAUL GRAHAM Yes please. GRAHAM I gave your jeans a swill and hung them up.
definitely. It’s small but there should be a gas station. . I don’t want to wake up and find him inserting a probe into my anus.36. Graham? I mean. GRAHAM Roger that. So. PAUL returns with three bagels on one long finger. CLIVE Do you trust him. CLIVE Thank you. GRAHAM Fuel level’s critical. PAUL jumps throwing them into the air. do you know where we’re going? GRAHAM Just North. CLIVE You’d better be right. PAUL Sorry. number one. For fuel? GRAHAM PAUL Anti-grav failure. he doesn’t do that. is he Strider or Black Rider? GRAHAM Strider. GRAHAM It’s okay. CLIVE There’s a place called Ely five miles from here. CLIVE is looking at the sat-nav on the computer. I had a warning light just like that on my ship. He said we had to make a right at Utah. CLIVE Why can’t he tell us? GRAHAM He said it was a surprise. PAUL Bagel time! The dashboard beeps.
CLIVE smiles at GRAHAM and flashes PAUL a triumphant look. PAUL coughs loudly, barely disguising the word “Geeks”. INT. RV - MORNING GRAHAM and CLIVE peer out at the gas station. It appears deserted. PAUL has his head in the fridge, he cracks open a V8, strolls to the front of the RV and honks the horn. An OLD MAN peers out of the gas station window and waves. CLIVE Paul, don’t do that! PAUL Here’s what I need. Some organic beef mince, organic pork, some veal, red onions, pine nuts, pecorino cheese, plum tomatoes, a fistful of fresh basil and 3 war ciabattas. CLIVE You know this is a gas station? PAUL looks disappointed. EXT. GAS STATION - DAY The door to the RV opens, CLIVE and GRAHAM step out onto the forecourt, trying to look as casual as they can. Ready? Ready. CLIVE GRAHAM
HOOOONNNNNKKKK! GRAHAM and CLIVE jump. PAUL (O.S.) Get me some more peanut M&Ms. GRAHAM goes into the store, CLIVE to the pumps. A POLICE CRUISER pulls onto the forecourt. CLIVE goes pale and fumbles the nozzle back into the pump. He walks toward the checkout as a STATE TROOPER exits his car. No matter how hard he tries, CLIVE cannot avoid reaching the door at the same time as the STATE TROOPER. He is tall, wide and bald. After you. Thanks. STATE TROOPER CLIVE
EXT. DESERT ROAD - MORNING Close up on O’REILLY. He covers his face with his hands. O’REILLY Coming... ready or not! O’REILLY uncovers his eyes and comes face to face with ZOIL. ZOIL is eating an orange, he offers a segment to O’REILLY. Orange? No thanks. ZOIL O’REILLY
ZOIL Nice and juicy. O’REILLY I don’t want to spoil breakfast. ZOIL Do you mind telling me what’s going on, Agent? O’REILLY Just keeping ourselves occupied sir. Things are pretty slow. ZOIL Where’s the other one? O’REILLY I don’t know, let’s see. Haggard? HAGGARD steps out from behind the only man shaped cactus on the entire desert plain. O’REILLY can’t help but let out a snort of delighted surprise. HAGGARD hurries over. HAGGARD Sorry, I was just... hiding. ZOIL I see. You fellas had much traffic through here? HAGGARD Just a big RV driven by a couple of nerds. ZOIL Nerds, huh? HAGGARD Yeah, they’d been to Comic-Con and met Michael Biehn.
ZOIL I’ve heard he’s nice. Good egg. HAGGARD
O’REILLY Very unaffected. ZOIL Did you search the vehicle thoroughly? Yes sir. O’REILLY
ZOIL Find anything? O’REILLY Not really. Just Michael Biehn’s autograph and some pissy jeans. Close in on ZOIL. He seems suddenly motivated. ZOIL Did you get the license plate? HAGGARD and O’REILLY look sheepish. Make? More sheepishness. HAGGARD It was big. ZOIL I want everything you can remember. Descriptions of the occupants, height, hair, distinguishing features. We can do it on the way. HAGGARD On the way? ZOIL You’re coming with me. O’REILLY What about the road block sir? ZOIL It didn’t work. ZOIL
CHRIS What you think’s going on? STATE TROOPER Don’t know. a Coke. and the doughnuts. INT. some mini doughnuts and a massive bag of peanut M&Ms. CHRIS STATE TROOPER Who do you think I had in my office this morning? CHRIS Jeremy Piven? STATE TROOPER No. STATE TROOPER Morning Chris! Hey Dean..MORNING GRAHAM joins CLIVE at the check out. They’re all over this crash on the road up to Rachel. and the chocolate milk. CHRIS They find out how you can afford a Dodge Viper on troopers pay? STATE TROOPER Not yet. GRAHAM bumps into a display of sunglasses and just stops it tumbling. a burrito. Let’s just pay for it and leave... GAS STATION .40. CHRIS and the STATE TROOPER glance over. The Secret Service. Except the burrito. CLIVE Don’t you think that’s a bit much? Put it all back. CLIVE Essential only. clutching a bag of jerky. a bottle of chocolate milk. So does the STATE TROOPER. GRAHAM We need bulb for the toilet.. could be Muslims. CHRIS Jesus Cheeerist! CLIVE and GRAHAM sidle up to the check-out. . Graham! They head to the counter.
CLIVE Thank you very much. GRAHAM STATE TROOPER Britain. STATE TROOPER You go right ahead. GRAHAM drives. . Officers are advised to contain but not board. No guns! CHRIS No guns? Jesus Cheeerist. CHRIS take the money and the boys leave. listening intently. we hear the radio spring to life as they pass. HOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKK! INT. Dean. STATE TROOPER Where’re you guys from? Britain.41. CLIVE It’s find for you. You’ll get whisked back to whatever lab they kept you in and we’ll be arrested for harbouring a fugitive and sent to Guantanamo Bay. PAUL laughs. if you still at Gas and Go. EXT. be on the lookout for a cream and brown Recreational Vehicle. huh? Nice place. officer. CLIVE sits in the Chewie seat. bring back a quart a milk and a box of doughnut holes? Dean? GRAHAM and CLIVE stop and stare. CLIVE Why’s everything so funny? They think we’re Muslims.MORNING The boys hurry across the forecourt past the cop car. The STATE TROOPER and CHRIS watch them go. GAS STATION . POLICE CONTROLLER All units.SOMETIME LATER PAUL sit on the sofa catching M&Ms in his mouth. RV . no plate number at this time.
CLIVE Nothing anyone could’ve done. There are worse things you can be. On the road lies a yellow and black bird. His skin ripples with color as he sways slightly. it opens its beak and tweets. the authorities know we’re in an TV. that made me jump. we’ll have a nice uneventful journey. We used to do karaoke on Tuesday nights. DESERT ROAD . PAUL looks at them. CLIVE and GRAHAM step out. its head lifts. We can see for miles. EXT. it is very dead. CLIVE Paul.DAY The door to the RV swings open. PAUL We’re hardly the only RV on the road. the waspish markings of a Scott’s Oriole. keep to the back routes. GRAHAM and CLIVE are astounded by what they are seeing. Silence.42. PAUL What a waste. BANG!!! Something strikes the windshield. Systems analyst called Yusef. The desert road is silent. We had a Muslim guy at the base. GRAHAM bring the RV to a halt. Shame I didn’t get a chance to say salam alaikum. Trust me. Everyone jumps. PAUL Fuck. CLIVE Ah yes. GRAHAM It’s a miracle! . Unmistakable. then scoops the bird up in his hands. PAUL That’s their excuse for everything. You should’a heard him do Matthew and Son. if we stay off the highways. GRAHAM What are you doing? PAUL closes his eyes. GRAHAM Poor thing. The bird’s eyes flicker.
. PAUL I’ll miss these. PAUL stuff the bird in his mouth with a grotesque crunch. CLIVE Why would you do that? PAUL I’m not gonna eat a dead bird. The voice of ZOIL’s superior cuts the air. CHRIS Is it true they was Muslims? STATE TROOPER They said they were British. Seemed like nice fellas to me. watching Erin Brockovich? ZOIL We think he may be travelling in an RV with two British men sir. VOICE So why am I not witting with my feet up. CHRIS Jesus Cheeeeerist! HAGGARD Agent Zoil? ZOIL Excuse me gentlemen. STATE TROOPER By the time I got the bulletin. ZOIL I think you can be both. GAS STATION .43. VOICE ZOIL We’ve tracked them down to a gas station in Ely. am I? EXT. Report. ZOIL leaves with the two men and returns to his vehicle. ZOIL is talking to the STATE TROOPER and CHRIS. smoking a jay. they were long gone.DAY ZOIL and his men are parked on the forecourt of the gas station.
VOICE Leave that to me.T.M. CLIDE rubs his yes. sir. GRAHAM What do you think? PAUL Ask me when I’ve finished it. Edgar Hoover.44. then F.DUSK GRAHAM is sat in the Chewie seat. sir. CLIVE drives.I.K. What are they. in the P. is still M. VOICE Goddamnit. VOICE Shit. INT.I. GRAHAM You tired.A. Sausage? CLIVE (whispering) Don’t call me Sausage in front of him. if E. MI6? ZOIL No. My sister’s kid went to that. ZOIL I still think this stinks.Y. We need to find the rat. ZOIL . VOICE Like fat man doo-doo. he could’ve just given us the slip when he was playing golf with J. In the meantime. Just a couple of nerds on the lamb from Comic-Con. PAUL is reading Jelva. O. I’m tearing someone a new A. RV . He sits tight for 60 years and then suddenly now he decides to take off.? Yes sir. ZOIL Someone must have told him. It’s too much of a coincidence. Queen Of The Varvak. Little Manga faggot. If he wanted to go home so bad. I knew we should have gone ahead with invasion in ‘44.
. PAUL lights a cigarette. CLIVE Can I help you? PAUL You want a cigarette? CLIVE No. GRAHAM arrives with the coffee and a Honey Bun cake. thank you. Big-Rig. n’est pas? GRAHAM Roger that.45. Just not Sausage. GRAHAM head to the galley. Any luck with an RV park? We need somewhere off the beaten track. the smoke wafts into CLIVE’s face. ignoring PAUL. Are you tired though? CLIVE Mummy. I am bushed. CLIVE continues to ignore PAUL. I’m sorry okay? About eating the bird. who jumps into the Chewie seat and stares at CLIVE. I can still call you Big-Rig can’t I? CLIVE Sure. I’d like a cold flannel on my neck and an honest meal. I don’t smoke. Cup of Joe? CLIVE You read my mind. GRAHAM What do you need? CLIVE Best case. GRAHAM Sorry. PAUL Look. Honey Bun? GRAHAM CLIVE Could you unwrap it for me? GRAHAM By your command. GRAHAM I hear that.
PAUL watches. . Everyone’s ‘bi’ where I’m from. PAUL Let me ask you something. empirical institutions.? What? CLIVE PAUL You know.46. You think you’re so sophisticated because you can distinguish yourself from your own reflection but ultimately you’re part of a deeply neurotic species and you'd all be a lot better off if you stopped worrying and learned to love the bum. I mean. GRAHAM unwraps the cake and pops it into CLIVE’s gob.. It’s all about the pleasure thing. demonstrating various ‘group’ and ‘one on one’ homosexual practices. pirate ships. CLIVE What are you trying to say? PAUL Maybe you should start smoking. PAUL does a very weird. Are you to. prisons. procreation is only the functional aspect of sexual congress right? The human race is fairly advanced but most males still act like a cornered tiger if you imply the like ‘smoking the bone’ and let’s face it they probably do. you know? We’ve evolved beyond paranoid notions of gender identity.. Get out into the real world and guys are getting smacked int he chops for wearing pink socks. No! CLIVE PAUL Okay. places where the choice has been removed. I’m cool with it. very long charade.. everyone’s banging everyone else and there isn’t a whiff of socio-cultural angst. that’s great. I just wondered. GRAHAM disappears to the back of the RV.. boarding schools. Look at single sex.
steadying himself on the backs of their chairs. GRAHAM . GRAHAM I sourced a website listing off the beaten track. GRAHAM I don’t think she heard you. CLIVE drives the RV over a speed hump into the park.47. CLIVE Great find. GRAHAM and CLIVE laugh. PAUL scrambles to his feet. sorry. PAUL loses his balance and falls over. They pull up to a gate. PAUL stands behind. INT. reaches across CLIVE and rest on the horn. GRAHAM It’s awfully quiet. the RV pulls up to gate at the front of an RV park. CLIVE I was talking to you. PAUL shimmers and disappears. Graham. didn’t I? GRAHAM and CLIVE look proud. HOOOOOOONNNNK! CLIVE Stop doing that! GRAHAM Someone’s coming. GRAHAM is now in the Chewie seat. PAUL I really lucked out with you nerds.EVENING Later. Oh. North American RV parks. RV . CLIVE Just the way we like it. Hello? VOICE CLIVE (quietly to Graham) We’re just a couple of regular guys on a tour of the less touristy side of the American midwest. GRAHAM and CLIVE yelp.
We hear the slide guitar moment from Olivia Newton John’s “Hopelessly Devoted To You”. I’m Ruth Behe. She wears glasses. VOICE Hello? GRAHAM opens the door. RUTH Good evening. The charge is $50 for the night. Do you mind if we come in? RUTH Sure. RUTH Where you heading next? GRAHAM Uh. RUTH looks at it. plus $10 for hook ups an I’ll need to hang onto an ID too.. GRAHAM We’re just a couple of regular guys on tour of the less touristy side of the American midwest. RUTH I love London. a young woman in her midtwenties stands outside. She is pretty but has no idea. GRAHAM/CLIVE RUTH Oh. I’d love to go someday. leaving GRAHAM and RUTH alone. CLIVE Hello Ruth. CLIVE disappears. Did you know it was founded by the Romans in AD 43 as Londinium? Yes. GRAHAM stares at her. one eye of which is blacked out. Park in Bay 9. east.. . CLIVE returns with his passport. England? RUTH CLIVE Yes. apparently.48. London. RUTH BEHE. CLIVE Have you been? RUTH No.
RUTH There’s lots a places I wanna go. CLIVE Doors to manual and cross check. The world’s a big place. PAUL . MOSES BEHE (O.S. won’t you? RUTH opens the gate to allow CLIVE to drive through. Europe. Garbled reports fade in and out. Asia. RV PARK .) What took you so long? RUTH I was just talking. I need one of these though.) RUTH! RUTH! Get in here! I’m hungry RUTH That’s my father. Have a pleasant night now. I’ll come over and take your money in the morning. MALE VOICE (O.NIGHT RUTH enters a static mobile home and heads for kitchenette. From the RV we hear GRAHAM and CLIVE yelp. and goes inside. CLIVE You don’t have a passport? RUTH shakes her head forlornly.NIGHT RUTH is walking back to a static mobile home. BEHE RESIDENCE . RUTH furrows her brow. From the ad-joining room we hear the sound of someone using a police radio scanner.S. INT. BOO! EXT. turns back. Graham? Graham? Hmmm? GRAHAM PAUL re-materializes next to GRAHAM and CLIVE. We perhaps even hear ZOIL’s voice briefly amid the static. The Antipodes. GRAHAM and CLIVE stare. GRAHAM watches RUTH intently as they pass.49. GRAHAM You should.
Now. Behind her stands the towering figure of MOSES BEHE.S.S.) Them California plates I saw? RUTH Yes.) London. get and make my supper. MOSES BEHE (O. RUTH Sorry Papa.S.50. his eyes glitter with fury and menace. MOSES BEHE (O.S.S. MOSES BEHE (O. It’s in North Western Europe. Almost as wide as he is tall. . She surreptitiously retrieves an atlas from a drawer an starts to read. Where?! MOSES BEHE (O. MOSES lumbers off with the atlas.S. Papa.) RUTH England.) Where they headed? East. London. but they’re from London. England.) RUTH MOSES BEHE (O. Ohio? RUTH No. The atlas is snatched out of RUTH’s hands. RUTH looks dejected. missy.) How long they staying? RUTH Just the night I think Hook ups? Uh-huh. RUTH MOSES BEHE (O.) You talk to much. RUTH stirs a pot on the stove.S. MOSES BEHE Europe? I’ll give you Europe. MOSES BEHE (O.
. PAUL materializes nearby.MOMENTS LATER The door to the RV opens. I’d love to break bread with you guys. He flicks his tongue out.51. RV PARK . I’m sorry. EXT. PAUL lowers his book and is blinded by their headlamps.NIGHT CLIVE is squirting lighter fluid over a fire. GRAHAM and CLIVE look suddenly sad.LATER QUICK CUTS as GRAHAM and CLIVE hook up power and water to the RV and prepare a small BBQ. what the fuck?! Hungry? GRAHAM PAUL I ate already. CLIVE sparks up his lighter and waves it around looking mysterious. RV PARK . He composes himself. summoning the flames higher. making CLIVE jump. GRAHAM and CLIVE jump in. RV . Fire’s my forte. What are we having? GRAHAM waves a foot long hot dog around. He then turns and jumps down all three steps and slams the door of the RV behind him. EXT. INT. Too soon? They nod. CLIVE I’ll flame up the BBQ pit. PAUL Hey. Willies! GRAHAM PAUL PAUL gives CLIVE a ‘see what I mean?’ look. PAUL Arrghh.
PAUL Hello Clive. yes. right? Time flies when you’re confined to a U.G. Shame what happened to him. am I do assume you’re a Hendrix fan? CLIVE I am actually. I was on a science mission actually. From the squirting of the gas and the flicking of the tongue. CLIVE Why did you come to earth? PAUL I’m the vanguard of a highly aggressive invading force. PAUL Meanwhile Bryan Adams releases album seventeen. CLIVE All the good ones die. We were surveying atmospheric conditions on CO2 spiking.S. looking for twisters and all of a sudden my A. M-Class planets. Really? CLIVE PAUL Yeah. military installation. What?! CLIVE PAUL I’m fucking with you. My specialist subject is tornadoes right? So I’m buzzing around the mid-west. He thought I was a hallucination. (MORE) . really soft. Meteorological reconnaissance. PAUL I met him once. goes offline and I crash in the middle of some field. man.52. Nice man. CLIVE So you’ve been here for 60 years? PAUL I know.G. PAUL and CLIVE share a laugh.
GRAHAM Ha ha yeah. CLIVE PAUL (cont'd) PAUL No. RUTH can see three pairs of dancing legs underneath the vehicle. it’s 52. with my cover blown and the natives cautious but friendly. CLIVE and PAUL are on the other side of the RV. 51. They laugh loudly. Nevertheless. She frowns. silhouetted against the campfire. EXT.53. PAUL So. GRAHAM. Area 51 is just full of old Pan Am jets and mini disc players and shit.) RUTH backs away into the shadows.” GRAHAM joins them with the food. CLIVE Mulder was right! PAUL Mulder was my idea.NIGHT RUTH watches through her window. It’s another “clever subterfuge.S. CLIVE Would you like a go? PAUL takes the bottle and squirts it on the fire. . Next thing I know. CLIVE gives PAUL the bottle of gas. RUTH! MOSES BEHE (O. I figured we might as well indulge in a little file sharing. this little girl is pulling me out of the wreck and then a bunch of army guys come along and cart me off to Area 52. making the Hendrix face. They chuckle. BEHE RESIDENCE . PAUL Just telling him about Area 52.
Who is it? It’s Ruth. RUTH Good morning. PAUL vanishes.MORNING It is very early in the morning.54. . I ate a closed mollusc. RUTH Was everything to your liking? CLIVE Yes. There is a knock at the door.. as GRAHAM straightens his hair. PAUL is asleep on the sofa.S. GRAHAM changes the subject. RUTH May I come in? Yes. RUTH Where’s the other one? CLIVE The other one? RUTH It’s okay. Um. GRAHAM and CLIVE look embarrassed. right? CLIVE Oh the other one. GRAHAM and CLIVE emerge from the bedroom in dressing gowns. RV . CLIVE RUTH (O. GRAHAM CLIVE give GRAHAM a ‘what the hell are you thinking?’ Look as RUTH comes aboard. PAUL blows a massive raspberry to prove his point.) GRAHAM and CLIVE look at each other nervously. RUTH surveys the interior of the RV. CLIVE opens the door. PAUL I’m in the can. thank you. INT.. we don’t charge by the person. CLIVE Good morning. That was three pairs of legs I saw last night cavorting round the camp fire.
“Evolve this!” RUTH Thanks. GRAHAM I like your shirt. CLIVE If we believe in anything it would be macro evolution. GRAHAM Or it could be God. I got it at my church. GRAHAM Why would Jesus want to shoot Charles Darwin? RUTH (brightly) Because of his theories.55. PAUL emits another huge raspberry from the toilet. Are you men of God? GRAHAM Would you like a coffee? CLIVE I suppose we’re men of science. Underneath it reads. The establishment of a biological order from the maelstrom of physical and chemical chaos. CLIVE Did you know that the universe has been dated as being 13. Cause and effect. The shirt has a picture of Jesus shooting Charles Darwin in the head. RUTH looks scandalized. CliveRUTH narrow her eye.5 billion years old an that the release of neutral hydrogen at the moment of the big bang has enabled scientists to do this with categorical accuracy? Yes. GRAHAM GRAHAM . You just don’t know do you? RUTH God created the earth in six days and on the seventh he rested.
Something as functionally perfect as that doesn’t just occur without the intervention of a guiding hand. taking up her fight with the unseen third passenger. It has the precision and delicacy of a pocket watch and. PAUL (O. CLIVE Not you! RUTH The world is 4000 years old. when the good Lord permits. RUTH It’d design! .S. RUTH What are you talking about? PAUL (O.S.S.) RUTH approaches the toilet door.S. She bangs on the door. RUTH Explain to me how something as complicated as the human eye simply comes into being.) But it didn’t just occur did it? It is the culmination of millions of years of development across countless species.56. Remove any one of them and it ceases to exist. it works in perfect harmony with its environment.S. don’t give me that old irreducible complexity crapRUTH They eye is comprised of three interacting parts. RUTH screams and bangs the door.) Evolution baby. PAUL (O.) Oh come on! PaulHorseshit! GRAHAM PAUL (O. PAUL (O. GRAHAM and CLIVE are bewildered by this sudden turn of events.) Oh.
Who’s gonna believe anything she says? CLIVE The authorities will be on the look out for exactly this sort of thing. her eye rolls up.) If He designed it.S. PAUL What. one-eyed God botherer? CLIVE Paul. She collapses. CLIVE What did you do that for? PAUL I didn’t do anything. or faith in the sure and certain knowledge that God made Heaven and earth and created us all in His own image. she fainted. GRAHAM We could take her with us. PAUL I didn’t think of that. PAUL (O. why didn’t He just make it one part and take the whole weekend off? RUTH Nothing you can so or do can shake my belief. her hair turns white. PAUL Oh yeah? (stepping out of the toilet) Well then how do you explain me? RUTH’s mouth hangs agape in a soundless scream. CLIVE She saw you! PAUL Oh come on. right now they’re going to follow any lead they can get. PAUL And that’s Jenga. What? PAUL/CLIVE . a delusional.57.
PAUL (O.DAY The door opens. They regard each other for a second. INT.) Leave it to me. just as MOSES levels the gun at his target. Panic in her eyes. GRAHAM We’re only going to be a couple of days. PAUL Hallelujah. I’m sure she’ll be fine once she gets to know us. what in the Lord’s nameMOSES and PAUL come face to face. He roots around noisily in drawers and cupboards. as the RV careens off out of the trailer park. as MOSES fires off a booming shot. pursued by MOSES who is loading a shotgun.S. RUTH wakes up. PAUL materializes in the kitchenette and starts looking around for CLIVE’s passport. We could let her go once Paul’s gone home.) Ruth. GRAHAM sits on the sofa. He laughs. BEHE RESIDENCE .DAY PAUL burst out of the BEHE RESIDENCE. RV PARK . MOSES BEHE (O. Boo? EXT. He checks the passport and finds CLIVE’s absurd picture. CLIVE drives. until he spies his quarry on the work-top. PAUL . PAUL reaches the door. seemingly by itself. PAUL and CLIVE consider this.58. PAUL GO! GO! GO! The RV start to move forward. biting his nails. RV . INT. The door swings open and GRAHAM appears. beckoning to PAUL.S. PAUL leaps into GRAHAM’s arms. CLIVE How am I going to get my passport back? PAUL vanishes.DAY Blackness. The BEHE mailbox explodes into pieces. disappearing inside the RV.
created by God the Father. He’s just very rude. We’re definitely not going to hurt you and we’ll let you go as son as we can. PAUL Look. Our world. JudeoChristian God. Science still hasn’t categorically rule out the notion of divinity. look who’s up. PAUL sits down next to GRAHAM. PAUL (O. GRAHAM Hi. if it makes you feel any better. He’s not evil. my existence only disproves the notion of the Abrahamic. PAUL Hey. RUTH You have been deceived. Deceived by an agent of Satan himself.59. . We were just a little concerned that you might call the police. he’s from another world and we’re helping him get home. as well as all single earth theologies. RUTH Where am I? PAUL leans round from the Chewie seat and smile.) You know I’m sitting right here? GRAHAM He’s not a demon Ruth. even though evolutionary biology suggest the non-existence of a creator by probability alone. GRAHAM I’m so sorry it had to be this way Ruth.S. DEMON! RUTH GRAHAM Would you like a cup of tea? RUTH starts to pray furiously. RUTH How can he be from another world? There is only one world. RUTH whimpers.
I was just trying to be nice! GRAHAM I think what Paul’s trying to say is. PAUL sparks up a cigarette. GRAHAM Can you broaden mine? PAUL No. it’s not the end of the world. You’re not real. just because there are other inhabited planets. He appear to go into a trance. speaking in tongues. The cosmos. others like PAUL. GRAHAM What did you do to her?! PAUL I broadened her horizons. PAUL walks over to RUTH and places his and across her forehead. making an awful noise. We’ll have to drop her off and take our chances. We see a lightening montage of images. RUTH How could that possibly make me feel any better? PAUL Jesus Christ. They collapse in a heap on the floor. PAUL You can’t win can you? RUTH starts to pray furiously. it’s tiring. RUTH This isn’t happening! You’re a hallucination.60. GRAHAM goes over to where PAUL is lying. No! GRAHAM PAUL Oh. PAUL’s ship crashing into the ground. the surface of a planet. CLIVE I can’t drive like this. A test from God. You’re a test. for God’s sake. The images speed up as PAUL telepathically send his knowledge into RUTH’s mind. . RUTH’s eyes roll up into her head.
I called the po-lice.S. BEHE RESIDENCE . Everyone lays inert. reaches up and zaps CLIVE who falls to the floor.DAY ZOIL Given your description of the intruder. GRAHAM Oh please. sir. PAUL puts his hand on GRAHAM’s head. RV PARK . MOSES BEHE And who are you? ZOIL Secret Service. MOSES BEHE I knew it. PAUL Can’t I just tell you? CLIVE No spoilers! PAUL sighs.61. MOSES BEHE (O. PAUL Come here then. INT. GRAHAM’s eyes go all fluttery. GRAHAM (weakly) Maybe I should make that tea? EXT. ZOIL And Ruth’s your daughter? .DAY THREE BLACK SEDANS are parked in the BEHE RV park. then with enormous effort. You know that devil took my Ruth.) I didn’t call the government. GRAHAM falls. the police felt your call was perhaps better directed to us. He always knew what was going on in Buffy before me because his mum had cable. CLIVE Oh great! Everyone knows the secrets of the universe apart from me. We don’t see the images this time.
ZOIL She’s pretty. MOSES BEHE ZOIL nods at HAGGARD who immediately starts dialling on his satellite phone. ZOIL You say they went East? MOSES BEHE Uh-huh..62.. She appears younger. ZOIL Do you have a phone Mr. Two mouths to feed and this place to run. Mr. with both eyes intact and with dark hair. MOSES BEHE That’s right. I good as brought her up by myself. MOSES BEHE . So? ZOIL MOSES BEHE So that means they’ll be on the 44. Behe? MOSES retrieves an old cigar box and produces a tattered photograph of Ruth. Only way to go.. Her Mama died when she was born. Behe? In case she tries to contact you. ZOIL I understand.. Ruth’s never really been outta Carbon County. ZOIL Let’s go. Do you have a photography of Ruth. moving into a different room. I do. ZOIL looks at O’REILLY. Haggard! .and she’ll call me if she can. there’s been a rig spill just South of Dutch John. They’ll have to get off the 191 after Flaming Gorge if they ain’t using the interstate. Wasn’t easy either. MOSES snorts.
HAGGARD and O’REILLY hoot with laughter. ZOIL Can it. Behe. BEHE RESIDENCE . ZOIL (O.) Man. ZOIL. you two! How many times do I have to tell you? INT. It’s evil. MOSES’s expression is mixture of fury and disbelief. Pull focus to the shotgun.DAY MOSES in his pick up truck. lying in the foreground on the kitchen table. I think I’d rather take my chances with the alien. EXT.S.63. I seen its eyes. MOSES watches them. ZOIL We’ll do our best.DAY ZOIL’s radio crackles to life. Zoil. He glances at something nearby. HAGGARD and O’REILLY leave. Kill it for what it is.) We do not refer to the target as ‘The Alien’.S.) If I was that girl. . BEHE RESIDENCE .S. Mr. EXT. We hear an engine splutter into life. MOSES BEHE Watch yourself now. HAGGARD (O. Zoil. revving furiously. MOSES BEHE Tell me you’re gonna kill that thing. that way was one fat freak! O’REILLY (O. Mr. MOSES BEHE God’s speed. HAGGARD and O’REILLY’s laughter rattles loudly over the radio. screams off in pursuit.DAY MOSES is sat at his kitchen table listening to his police scanner. Mr. RV PARK .
looking out through the RV’s windshield.DAY CLOSE on PAUL. please stop. GRAHAM catches up to her. Wyoming. the door of the RV is open. Graham? CLIVE looks round to see GRAHAM gone. PAUL There it is. RUTH stops. . A breathtaking panorama of natural beauty. HIGHWAY . PAUL Pull out to reveal him sitting next to GRAHAM and CLIVE. Wow. He is staring at something in wonder. Ruth!? PAUL CLIVE Someone should go after her. get up here. Graham!? EXT. boys. We see their POV. I mean look at it. looking out across the vista. They are parked up at the summit of a mountain road.DAY RUTH is storming up the road. Hey Ruth. RV .64. It’s at times like these you winder if the intelligent design crowd aren’t onto something. RUTH is gone. They look round. I gotta tell ya. Ruth! GRAHAM CLIVE RUTH Leave me alone! GRAHAM Ruth. INT. CLIVE Is that where we’re going? PAUL Maybe. I’ve got shin splints.
All false. Ruth.65. Huh? RUTH GRAHAM I understand you’re probably feeling very confused right now. one of them is right there. Did you know the reason we have solar eclipses is because the sun is exactly 400 times bigger than the moon and the moon is exactly 400 times closer to the earth? GRAHAM considers saying ‘yes’ but decides against it. RUTH and GRAHAM look back at the RV. Religious belief systems are devised to give us context and security. RUTH I do feel lonely and unimportant! How can this all be an accident? It doesn’t make sense. My purpose. There’s probably millions of intelligent civilizations. GRAHAM Are you alright? RUTH He can’t be from space. It’s not possible. . DO you know how that feels? To suddenly have nothing? GRAHAM Just because your truth wasn’t the truth. CLIVE is trying not to laugh. where is everybody? GRAHAM Well. RUTH So. It’s not just possible. RUTH Everything I’ve ever been told is a lie. To stop us feeling lonely and unimportant. it doesn’t mean there is no truth. PAUL is stood on the dashboard with his bare buttocks pressed against the window. My truth. you saw for yourself. GRAHAM Ruth. RUTH How can that be an accident. it’s probably.
but it passes. your next cheeseburger. I know you feel confused and lost but if you get back on board that RV.66. It’s wonderful because it means we still have things to learn. I’m not sure. it’s a coincidence.’ Huh? RUTH GRAHAM It’s okay not to know. RUTH But what’s the point? If there’s nothing afterwards. we’re on an amazing adventure and I think you should come with us. that stressed the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths. sort of. That’s the beauty of the universe. This conversation. GRAHAM So am I. Life is a miracle.. That tree. you might just find the very thing you’re looking for.. Ruth. People spend so much time focusing on rescuing the princess. Ruth. Ruth. GRAHAM It isn’t. Right now. they forget how much fun it is to fight the dragon. Or it probably is. RUTH I’m frightened. Huh? RUTH GRAHAM Carl Sagan said ‘A religion. . We still have life to live. RUTH I. old or new. what’s the point in living? GRAHAM This is the point.
RV .67. RUTH That’s so sweet. RUTH (O. INT. GRAHAM drives with PAUL in the Chewie seat.S. CLIVE. She is staring at PAUL. The RV weaves from side to side. PAUL just behind. GRAHAM looks pleased with himself. CLIVE drives with GRAHAM in the Chewie seat. red. deep. she looks away. CLIVE Small corrections! Small corrections! RUTH drives. dark. . GRAHAM and RUTH just behind. RUTH Who’s Storm? PAUL From X-Men. PAUL turns round. RV . GRAHAM I’m sure Ruth. RUTH on the sofa.) AAARRRRGGGHHHHH! MY FREAKIN’ HAIR! EXT/INT. CLIVE sits in the Chewie seat. I have never talked to a woman for this long without blushing. GRAHAM. Exactly. You look like Storm. GRAHAM blushes. I’m sure because I can honestly say. I think your hair looks good by the way. RUTH can be seen sitting on the bed at the back. GRAHAM RUTH goes to the bathroom. GRAHAM She’s going to be fine. PAUL drives.DAY GRAHAM and RUTH get back onto the RV. Everyone else is asleep. CLIVE sleeps on the sofa. RUTH and PAUL appear in various combinations.DAY The RV drives across the rugged countryside.
INT. The three AGENTS leap out of their cars and run in. It is a little speck on an enormous landscape. CLIVE sits in the Chewie seat. A truck passes. DESERT HIGHWAY . I WANT TO BELIEVE. He reaches down out of shot. his eyes intent on the road. HIGHWAY . we should stop for something to eat. RUTH This is the furthest I’ve ever been.’ PAUL leaps back and forth over the line. After a short pause MOSES BEHE’s pick up truck passes through shout.NIGHT GRAHAM drives.DAY We see ZOIL’s convoy. PAUL hangs back. Ruth? . The truck passes. RV . EXT.DAY ZOIL’s convoy pulls into an Arby’s.’ Underneath this a separate sign reads ‘LEAVING PACIFIC TIME ZONE ENTERING MOUNTAIN TIME ZONE.68. 11 o’clock. talking animatedly on his cell phone. Are you hungry. EXT. then brings a taco to hi mouth and takes a bit.DAY The RV is parked up. searching. PAUL Hey. he is asleep at the wheel. Graham? GRAHAM It looks nice. looking rattled. We see CLIVE. She has swapped her Darwin T-shirt for one of GRAHAM’s. O’REILLY wakes up suddenly. ZOIL drives. It’s an X-files T-shirt emblazoned with a UFO and the legend. The truck passes. Come on! It’s fun. RUTH emerges from the bedroom. do you. ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’ blares from the radio. We see HAGGARD in his car. PAUL 11 o’clock. 11 o’clock. We see O’REILLY in his car. ZOIL’S CAR/HAGGARD’S CAR/O’REILLY’S CAR . 12 o’clock. 12 o’clock. Next to the highway is a sign which reads ‘YOU ARE NOW LEAVING UTAH. GRAHAM and RUTH standing in the middle of the road watching PAUL. RUTH You don’t mind. EXT/INT. horn blaring.
CLIVE I’m hungry. PAUL What’s new, fatty? CLIVE Hey, it’s not fat, it’s power. I happen to be very strong. PAUL summons a phlegm ball with a grotesque snort and spits it onto the floor of the RV. PAUL Pick that up then. CLIVE So childish. RUTH Maybe I should call Papa. What?! PAUL/GRAHAM/CLIVE
RUTH Look, I’ve been missing for a whole day. If he’s called the police, they’ll be looking for us and if they find us, this ‘amazing adventure’ is going to come to an end real quick. I just need to tell him I’m fine and that I’ll be back soon, okay? PAUL offers up a high five to RUTH. PAUL Right up top! RUTH yelps, terrified that PAUL is going to zap her again. Too soon? PAUL
CLIVE reaches down and picks up PAUL’s phlegm ball. I did it! CLIVE
EXT. BAR. PARKING LOT - NIGHT GRAHAM, CLIVE and RUTH step out of the RV.
CLIVE Okay, in and out, yes? Don’t talk to anyone unless you have to and try to look inconspicuous. Angle on the most conspicuous threesome in America. HOOOOOOOONNNK. CLIVE I wish he’d stop doing that! They enter the bar. Parked nearby, is a black Lincoln Escalade, shiny, mean, dented. INT. BAR - NIGHT The bar is very busy. Scantily clad waitresses serve a variety of customers. People play pool, other people dance to a small band. RUTH spies a pay phone at the back. RUTH I won’t be long. CLIVE We’ll order food and wait for you at the bar. Okay. RUTH
CLIVE Be careful. RUTH walks through to the back, past the toilets. As she passes, MOSES BEHE steps out of the Men’s, they miss each other by moments. He walks up to the bar, next to GRAHAM and CLIVE who are looking at a menu. MOSES orders. Tap water. MOSES BEHE
INT. BAR. PAY PHONE - MOMENTS LATER RUTH dials. She listens nervously. Click. Ruth Behe? Yes? OPERATOR (O.S.) RUTH
OPERATOR (O.S.) Please hold, your call is being diverted.
RUTH ZOIL (O.S.) RUTH
Wait, I... Ruth Behe? Yes?
ZOIL (O.S.) Agent Zoil, Secret Service. Listen very carefully. You’re in great danger. RUTH How did you...? ZOIL (O.S.) We know who you’re travelling with Ruth. I need you and your friend to turn yourselves in. RUTH What if we don’t want to turn ourselves in? INT. HIGHWAY. ROADSIDE - NIGHT ZOIL talks on a satellite phone. HAGGARD works on a laptop nearby. O’REILLY listens in. ZOIL Where are you? Where are you headed? RUTH (O.S.) I don’t know. ZOIL Look, I know you think you’re doing the right thing but I promise you, I’m only thinking about you. And Paul. You care about Paul, don’t you? RUTH (O.S.) I don’t know how I feel about him. He’s weird and also, rude. Yes he is. ZOIL
RUTH (O.S.) I asked him why he wore shorts and he said if he didn’t I’d see his big spaceman balls.
.. She realizes what she may have done and rushes back toward the bar. look down at her. slow down there cyclops. I. RUTH struggles. ZOIL You’re not still talking about his balls. the dark.72. RUTH He showed me things. are you? RUTH I. RUTH Who’s there with you? ZOIL (O. INT. I just have a severe stigmatism. HAGGARD (O.S. please listen to me. Reckon you’d be kinda pretty in the right light. i just want to know what’s real.. Haggard! RUTH panics and slams down the phone. We want to get you home. I.. The MEATHEADS. GUS Why the hurry? You know I got a friend with one eye who’d love to meet you. Your father is worried about you.) WE GOT HER! ZOIL (O.NIGHT Loud giggles. RUTH I need to get to my friends. amused. RUTH I happen to have two eyes actually..) Ruth..) Damnit.S. PAY PHONE . I’m confused. I need you to tell me where you are. followed by angry shushing from ZOIL. GUS Yeah. JAKE You should get that fixed up.S. drunk. JAKE Hey. BAR. . Her expression shows great conflict. slamming into two men.
baby? RUTH Yes.MOMENTS LATER GRAHAM and CLIVE are clutching brown paper bags full of food. Angry. . GUS These the ‘friends’ you told us about. CLIVE We’re still waiting on a wet fries. INT. RUTH We were just leaving. He doubles up knocking his friend over.73. BAR . GUS I don’t think so. RUTH bolts. RUTH Papa said the Lord would fix it. I’m terribly sorry. RUTH returns from the Phone. JAKE Holy shit! It’s the space faggots that dinged the fuck-mobile! CLIVE Look. The two MEATHEADS emerge from the pay phone. Perhaps we can exchange insurance details? JAKE I’m sorry I don’t speak ‘nerd’. GRAHAM How’s your dad? RUTH We need to leave now. GUS The Lord ain’t gonna fix nothing sweetheart. they are. No shit. RUTH RUTH plants her knee firmly into the groin of GUS. JAKE Well whaddya know? Small world. GRAHAM and CLIVE look terribly offended.
PARKING LOT . The fight spreads like fire. knocking a tray of drinks all over a table full of men. As they reach the door RUTH is yanked back and comes face to face with her father. girl! Papa IRUTH A chair smashes across MOSES’s head. RUTH?! PAPA?! Graham? MOSES BEHE RUTH CLIVE MOSES BEHE I’m taking you home.74. JAKE grabs RUTH. GRAHAM grabs RUTH’s hand and follows CLIVE as he scrambles through the fracas. bloodied and angry are the two MEATHEADS. They immediately spring up and lunge after the MEATHEADS who turn their attention to the attack. MOSES BEHE Don’t talk back to me. Behind him. EXT. knocking him out.. . I can’t. RUTH I. JAKE pulls his fist back to hit CLIVE. The MEATHEADS crash out after them. GRAHAM and RUTH explode out of the bar and run toward the RV. GRAHAM Leave her alone! JAKE What did you say? CLIVE (timid but resolute) He said. leave her alone. GRAHAM pushes him hard in the chest.. RUTH What about Papa?! JAKE Hey. BAR. we ain’t finished with you.NIGHT CLIVE. At this.
The RV door bursts open. PAUL So. mean. BANG! CLIVE is struck in the face. leaving MOSES BEHE bellowing with anger and the Lincoln Escalade. just as the RV passes. They turn to RUTH and GRAHAM. take Ruth into the RV and lock the door. The RV roars to life. PAUL vanishes. It’s them. The RV tears off into the night. CLIVE turns back to the MEATHEADS. MOSES BEHE bursts out of the bar. He knew all about us. RUTH sees him out of the window. PAUL Yo fucknuts! The MEATHEADS freeze. fucked. who back up against the RV. I don’t want either of you to see this.75. Who? RUTH GRAHAM RUTH It wasn’t my fault. who wants to get probed first? The MEATHEADS swoon and simultaneously hit the deck. PAUL stands silhouetted against the interior lights. . RUTH turns white. CLIVE Who? Who are you talking about? PAUL Get in the RV! SMASH CUT. shiny. then reappears a few feet from them. nose bleeding. They answered the phone. Sirens wail in distance. backing up at speed into the MEATHEAD’s vehicle. MOSES locks eye with his daughter. he falls. their eyes bulge. CLIVE Graham. The MEATHEADS approach ominously. GRAHAM Ha! Only one of us fainted! PAUL Tell me you got the food? CLIVE gets up and opens his coat revealing bags of food. He runs to his pick up but realises he doesn’t have his keys.
PAUL I’m feeling pretty amped up. Anyone wanna take a walk? I’m game. RV . being abducted by and alien and having my whole belief system called into question.NIGHT The RV pulls off the road into a secluded lay-by. right? CLIVE What about when I got smacked in the nose? . Ruth? RUTH nods. PAUL Sorry about that. still distant. GRAHAM Was that your dad. GRAHAM Are you alright. RUTH He’s always angry. PAUL You gotta talk the talk. wasn’t it? Remember when Paul said ‘Yo fucknuts’? That was brilliant. Ruth? RUTH nods. GRAHAM. CLIVE GRAHAM You want to come for a walk. The gang sit in silence for a while. CLIVE He was so angry.76. It’s been a long day what with meeting you guys. GRAHAM It was amazing though. CLIVE and PAUL all exchange looks. but I think I’m going to turn in. Ruth? RUTH Thanks. INT.
you go. DESERTED TOWN . What d’ya think? PAUL indicates to a small cowboy outfit. It is embroidered with the words ‘JESUS SAVES’. PAUL Hey Graham. You want anything Ruth? RUTH No. RUTH hands CLIVE her handkerchief. GRAHAM I’d use a pen to push the tissues off the bed. PAUL I’d look pretty hot. Let’s skedaddle.77. Do you guys partake? GRAHAM PAUL Shame. GRAHAM lingers. big enough for a child. I got in my No. He goes to leave but turns back. . CLIVE He mops his nose as they leave the RV. Come on. Here Clive. I’ve had a cold. PAUL looks in the window. PAUL Miller Band. Steve song. I get it from the military. a littler herbal refreshment pants. PAUL Yeah yeah Snorlax. I love that Speaking of midnight tokers.NIGHT GRAHAM and PAUL stand outside a liquor store on the main drag of a quiet town. Next door is a Western themed clothing store. I’ll be fine. Check this out. EXT. displayed in the window. GRAHAM You can sleep in my bunk if you’d like. This is the shit that killed Dylan. you’re a real hero. She smiles at him. Thank you. right? GRAHAM Space cowboy.
NIGHT GRAHAM. They sit round drinking beers and chatting. GRAHAM So why ‘Paul’? It’s not very. PAUL GRAHAM P-o-o-u-r-l? PAUL No. PAUL What a geek. P-’-a-w-l-l or something? No. CLIVE and PAUL have made a camp fire in a woodland clearing on the other side of town. GRAHAM Bob Dylan’s still alive.78. WOODS . CLIVE Paul Simon. it’s Paul. PAUL rolls a joint. CLIVE I can speak Klingon. Paul’s not my real name. GRAHAM What’s your real name? PAUL You won’t be able to pronounce it. CLIVE Is it spelt like. alien. you know. Is he? PAUL CLIVE comes out of the liquor store clutching bags of beer. Like Paul Newman or the little guy from Simon and Garfunkel. CLIVE Let’s party! EXT. It’s a name I got given. Hey! CLIVE . PAUL Paul Simon.
Fuck you! PAUL CLIVE Calm down. PAUL Roooooootttchaaaaaaaaaaa. Even PAUL. He lights his joint. Muggles. I killed her dog. because I’d heard the little girl saying it over and over. Never saw a dime. what’s your real name. GRAHAM Come on. More laughter. It was terrible actually. PAUL That’s pretty good. PAUL That was my gag! ‘Take me to your dealer’ right? Yeah.79. GRAHAM Rootchaa? That sounds like Roger. Rog. Spooks thought it was my name. I kept saying “Paul? Paul?” It was the only English I knew. PAUL opens his mouth and screeches. GRAHAM What happened to the little girl? . I didn’t mean to! My ship sort of landed on it. When the military arrived I was delirious. GRAHAM You never answered my question. CLIVE Roooooootttttttccchhaaaa. GRAHAM You look like a poster on a student’s wall. CLIVE She called her dog Paul? PAUL Least it wasn’t Mr. that was mine. Why Paul? Who called you Paul? PAUL The little girl who found me when I crashed.
CLIVE and GRAHAM decline. don’t we? It’s a bit of an anti-climax. CLIVE It’s strange. CLIVE I don’t mean that in a bad way. PAUL GRAHAM Why are you in such a hurry to leave? PAUL I’ve outlived my usefulness. So? GRAHAM PAUL So the only way they’re going to get hold of them is by obtaining some of somatic stem cells. GRAHAM. can I ask you something? Shoot. They all scratch their noses. CLIVE and PAUL start to move simultaneously as though governed by some kind of psychic link.80. How so? CLIVE PAUL There’s only so much knowledge I can share about the universe and quantum theory and how to make a really nice meatball sandwich. The only thing I have to offer them now are my abilities. PAUL Who knows? Never saw her again. PAUL Thanks a bunch. During the following exchange. wondering about life on other planets but we know now. . PAUL offers the joint round. PAUL takes a deep drag. Think about her everyday though. GRAHAM Paul. Hurley. isn’t it? Ordinarily in this situation Graham and I would be looking up at the stars.
CLIVE I thought the crash was our fault. grabbed the wheel and took my chance.. Stool? PAUL CLIVE PAUL Sadly. In order to cultivate them in a laboratory they would have to. I hate needles. the memory transfer. GRAHAM/CLIVE Cut your brain out. not that simple. . I zapped the spooks. GRAHAM and CLIVE look blank. if you’ll pardon the pun. they all originate in my cerebellum. when they were transferring me to the medical facility and I noticed the bumper sticker on your RV.. do they take a swab from your cheek? Negative. I figured you might be sympathetic types.81. someone was kind enough to give me the heads up. the revivification. PAUL Lineage defined? GRAHAM and CLIVE still look blank. So. GRAHAM Blood?! Oh my god. PAUL Stem cells are multipotent. GRAHAM So what. PAUL Believe me. CLIVE I don’t follow. a needle would be a picnic compared to what they had in store for me. PAUL (CONT’D) The camouflage response. PAUL Bingo! Fortunately.
CLIVE She was a midget. CLIVE Comic-Con 2005. GRAHAM and CLIVE look at PAUL in horror. They all cough. I’m sorry.82. PAUL There are only two types of person small enough to fit inside an Ewok costume. when was the last time you got laid. PAUL draws his thumb across his neck. GRAHAM So. PAUL Three years ago you had sex with a midget? CLIVE She was an Ewok! Sniff. Clive. Ewok chick. PAUL Was it nice? Wonderful CLIVE GRAHAM/CLIVE . are you guys virgins or what? No. you’re saying if they catch you. PAUL Well it was. CLIVE I know. PAUL I can’t believe you thought boning a space bear sounded less embarrassing than a person of short stature. PAUL Alright then. PAUL So tell me. All three scratch their heads. kinda...
DAY GRAHAM and CLIVE walk down the busy main street. between them is PAUL.83. For a second there I thought I’d got drunk on Lite beer. PAUL Oh shit! Hey. His eyes open. After about thirty seconds of this. I get this thing when I get high. Before long. It’s called ‘projective empathy’. they pass out. wake up. EXT. He is dressed in the little cowboy suit from the shop window. his hat pulled down low over his face.? Exactly. GRAHAM Like in E. CLIVE joins in. thank God. utterly out of control. clapping. CLIVE How are we going to get back? Close in on GRAHAM having the best idea of his life. TOWN . Looking through the tree line they realize that the quiet town of last night has become very busy indeed. . the three friends are rolling around in hysterics. PAUL You sly dog! PAUL rolls onto his back. PAUL CLIVE Oh. GRAHAM snorts into his beer. Oh dear! GRAHAM PAUL I can’t walk through there. EXT. WOODS .T. PAUL is very white.MORNING The sun has just risen. CLIVE How did that happen? PAUL Sorry. He looks around. You feel what I feel. We fell asleep. GRAHAM. The guys gather their stuff and walk to the edge of the wood. Wake up. CLIVE and PAUL lie round the smoldering camp fire sleeping soundly. laughing.
DAY Close on RUTH’s watch. Sausage. COMIC SHOP . GRAHAM CLIVE walks into the shop. GRAHAM Seem to be working. $299. He takes a couple of pain killers and flexes his sore shoulders. MOSES BEHE emerges from the adjacent Drug Store. . Clive. GRAHAM It’s very cheap. RV . PAUL That’s great! Two grown men who look like sex offenders holding hands with a child cowboy. INT. GRAHAM Maybe we should hold hands. so that we look like a family. GRAHAM and PAUL follow quickly behind. PAUL You’re obsessed with midgets! They continue on. come on. GRAHAM Now’s not really the time.99. As they enter the COMIC SHOP. CLIVE I must have it. She paces. trying to look as if nothing is strange. The tag reads ‘Genuine ‘BLADE’ Katana’. Are you sure you don't want to save up and get a proper on? CLIVE Oh. worried. KNOCK KNOCK.84. CLIVE You could be a midget. Clive. INT/EXT. gawping thought the window of a COMIC SHOP. He looks back to see CLIVE.DAY GRAHAM approaches CLIVE who is at the counter. at a sword resembling the one they saw at Comic-Con. He wanders up the road. Clive? GRAHAM notices that CLIVE is no longer with them. no. scanning the passers by. we’ve got time.
AGENT ZOIL flashes his badge. Miss? She lingers on the picture of herself. Going far? Austin. ZOIL RUTH ZOIL Great town. ZOIL Good morning. RUTH Oh yes. Your wagon here matches the description of a recreational vehicle we’re currently looking for. looking younger. Agent Zoil. Sorry to trouble you. It has an impressive bat population you know? (MORE) . Miss? ZOIL RUTH No. Ma’am. She opens the door. with dark hair and no glasses. RUTH Where have you been? I was worried.85. RUTH Yes. I’ve been driving for 5 days. sorry I don’t. ZOIL Do you mind taking a look at these pictures? ZOIL pulls out three pictures and hands them to RUTH. Ma’am? RUTH Christian ministry in Seattle. ZOIL Where are you coming from. CCTV shots of GRAHAM and CLIVE at the gas station and MOSES’s pic of RUTH. are you alone? RUTH pauses a second. I’m alone. May I ask. Secret Service. ZOIL Do you recognise any of these people.
PAUL Suppose it does. CLIVE is trying out the blade. The comic is called ‘Encounter Briefs: Tales From the Dreamland’. PAUL How’s it going? CHILD Is that you? No. ZOIL smiles and nods. in cowboy guise browses the racks of comics. Quite a sight. I really should be getting along. (8) small enough to see under PAUL’s hat. Next to him is a child. PAUL You on your own here. ZOIL Of course. He suddenly realises he is being watched. What’s your name? CHILD Keith Nash. Charlotte Darwin. INT. He laves..86. PAUL smiles and shakes his head. He picks one up. ZOIL Is that so? RUTH Uh-huh. Turn the sky black. COMIC SHOP .. Pleased to meet you.MOMENTS LATER GRAHAM and CLIVE are at the counter. Folks gather by the rive in the evening to watch them fly out. Keith Nash? .? Beat. The cover features an alien that looks a lot like him. Well. PAUL RUTH (cont'd) CHILD It looks like you. Miss. RUTH Darwin. He is looking at the cover of the comic and back at PAUL. Thanks for your time. PAUL I’m Paul. They shake hands. PAUL.
Guess that makes us pals. KEITH NASH What a nerd. KEITH NASH Thanks Paul. PAUL Strangers with candy. KEITH NASH Yes and no. He offers one to KEITH. PAUL laughs. Keith? PAUL produces his M&Ms. not unlike ZOIL. We both like comics and M&Ms. It’s a gift. PAUL You read this one? No. She lets me wait in here. Guess so. Go on. Take it. PAUL Sounds like a good Mum. KEITH NASH My Mom’s shopping for some new jeans. PAUL pulls one out called ‘G-Men’. KEITH NASH KEITH beams at PAUL and takes a few M&Ms.87. On the cover it shows an agent. They turn their attention back to the racks of comics. we’ve got a lot in common. . He’s a grown man. KEITH NASH I am but I shouldn’t. right? Right. PAUL You an M&Ms man. shooting an alien not unlike PAUL. So does KEITH NASH. KEITH NASH PAUL Well. KEITH NASH PAUL It’s a good one. What’re you doing here? PAUL My friend’s buying a sword.
The boys walk up the street. he was an alien and his name was Paul! MRS. Keith. speccy? GRAHAM X-Men action figure. KEITH NASH Honestly Mommy. PAUL Jesus Cheeeerist. MRS. CLIVE Who was that? PAUL Keith Nash. NASH calling from the street. Keith. If you carry on like this. NASH Don’t lie. CLIVE and PAUL exit the comic shop. PAUL Catch you later. How much was that? CLIVE $299. Keith Nash. GRAHAM and CLIVE approach. on a bench. KEITH NASH I gotta go. It’s made of a low grade Turkish alloy. with his MOTHER.99. who now sits outside. KEITH NASH I’m not lying. COMIC SHOP . NASH Whoever hard of an alien called Paul? . come on now. We hear MRS. CLIVE has a long sword shaped box under his arm and a big grin on his face. PAUL What did you get. seconds later. HAGGARD and O’REILLY step out of a store.DAY GRAHAM. PAUL laughs. PAUL waves to KEITH NASH. KEITH stuffs it down his trousers. you’ll have to come with me to Dress Barn. NASH Oh.88. EXT. eating bags of candy. MRS.
his mind racing. HAGGARD is suddenly kneeling at KEITH NASH’s side. huh? KEITH nods. HAGGARD What did you say. HAGGARD South. HAGGARD You did good kid. HAGGARD stands. O’REILLY Did he say where he was going? KEITH looks at his comic. Who are you? HAGGARD Agent Haggard Ma’am. kid? MRS. O’REILLY We’ve got him man! We’re going to get a fucking promotion. Want a candy? No thanks. The ZOIL style agent. Let’s go. O’REILLY stands nearby. NASH Secret Service?! Kid? HAGGARD KEITH NASH He was in the shop. He looks back at HAGGARD and points him in the entirely wrong direction. HAGGARD Is he still in there? KEITH shakes his head. NASH Excuse me. Secret Service. He looks meaningfully at O’REILLY not noticing the RV rumbling up the street behind him with CLIVE at the wheel. O’REILLY What about Zoil? . KEITH NASH HAGGARD The two agents rush off. MRS. Toward New Mexico.89. shooting the PAUL style alien.
now stained with dirt and blood. He looks up to see the RV rumbling up the road. that’s mighty civil of you. which isn’t very fast. then let’s move it. Where d’you say he was headed? HAGGARD New Mexico sir. MOSES’ pick up is parked about 200 yards away. STREET . It turns onto the Eastbound Highway. WOODS . ZOIL Oh. ZOIL Well now. ZOIL Well. EXT. . He bends down and picks something up. Said he was heading toward New Mexico. We were going to radio you. I expect you to abide by it. It is Ruth’s handkerchief. HAGGARD We picked up a lead. He screws it into his shaking hand. and Haggard? Don’t go getting ideas about your station again. An engine roars.DAY MOSES BEHE kicks at the remains of the campfire.DAY HAGGARD and O’REILLY sprint up to their vehicles. Little kid in the town said he saw an alien. HAGGARD Screw Zoil! EXT. We have a chain of command. ZOIL (O.) Where the hell do you think you’re going? HAGGARD can’t hide his frustration. ZOIL gets into his car leaving HAGGARD looking pissed. They scramble. sir.S. MOSES starts to lumber towards it as fast as he can. sir.90. ZOIL And you were just gonna take off? HAGGARD Thought it best to take the initiative.
MOSES BEHE Looks like you’re going the wrong way. I want that little fucker’s brain in a jar by sundown. I’m getting a little tired of this shit. VOICE (O.S. PAUL He likes you. RV . MOSES smiles darkly.S. INT. That’s what happens when you don’t got the Lord on your side. PAUL watches her. Agent Zoil. HIGHWAY . PAUL What you got there. INT.DAY MOSES BEHE’s pick up roars through shot. a stigmatism? PAUL (CONT’D) . Zoil. blind? Beat. MOSES’S PICK UP .DAYBREAK The RV is parked outside the firework warehouse. revealing a large roadside sign proclaiming LUCIFER’S CUT PRICE FIREWORK WAREHOUSE. Creep in on the sign. Storm.) Zoil. y’know? RUTH Graham? D’you think? PAUL What are you. He listens to his police scanner.) You better be right about this. VOICE (O. what the hell’s going on? ZOIL (O.S.DAY MOSES drives. RUTH is holding the X-Men action figure. Beat. Sorry.) They’ve double back sir. EXT.91. RUTH and PAUL sit opposite each other at the dining table. They’re heading toward New Mexico. Ruth’s bloody handkerchief gripped between his hands and the wheel.
I think Shakespeare said it best. “There’s more in Heaven and earth than is dreamt of in your philosophy Horatio”. that’s why religion appeared in the first place. That’s how it is for much of humanity. Imagine being five year sold and having no adults around to tell you why it snows or what trees are for. Guess that’s not gonna happen.92. makes the universe easier to comprehend. It illuminates the scary corners. then you get it. Thing is. RUTH Oh. PAUL Hey. PAUL You know you can get on operation for that. it’s okay not to know everything. RUTH nods. with no hope of salvation. right? RUTH Papa said the Lord would fix it. the way you’re feeling now. I just said ‘probably’. PAUL Look. who’s to say at some point in the future they won’t put it into practice and who’s to say someone else didn’t do that 13. right? If they have the theory. . Well. then we get the eternal problem of who created the creator but that’s a whole other car park. that’s a relief.5 Billion years ago and that’s how the universe came to be? Course. RUTH PAUL Oh. I mean. who knows what’s really out there? Did you know astrophysicists recently identified the equation for the creation of matter? Yes. I don’t know categorically that it’s godless. It’s like existential Prozac. fills the gaps. seeing as we’re living in a gigantic godless universe. Faith is a nightlight.
ZOIL’S CAR . just as PAUL reaches out to touch her face. if there is a God. RUTH They’re back. Yes. Perfect. PAUL smiles back. They climb aboard. It’s from Hamlet. PAUL The eye is a delicate and complex thing. so he wouldn’t have to go round fixing people’s lazy eyeballs? RUTH I suppose so. the Prince of Denmark? RUTH Denmark has a municipal population of 508. didn’t he create doctors and hospitals and scalpels and shit. PAUL CLIVE What are you going to do with this? PAUL Phone home. PAUL Anyway. INT. RUTH smiles. sir? ZOIL . You know. PAUL withdraws his hand. RUTH looks out of the window. You should get it taken care of. RUTH What did you call me? PAUL Horatio.93. GRAHAM and CLIVE are approaching the RV clutching a large firework.DAY ZOIL! VOICE ZOIL jumps but gathers his composure quickly. Ruth.691. PAUL blinks.
Don’t make me come out there. and guess what. maybe we can get the drop on their destination. sir. nimrod? ZOIL It wasn’t going to New Mexico? VOICE That’s a three pointer Agent Zoil. You got some serious catching up to do. INT. heading towards Gillette.) You don’t think she’s sill there. Bethlehem Creek. Where are they headed? If we gun it. VOICE They’re on the 50. VOICE Satellite’s come up with a data analysis on all the traffic coming out of Prospect in the last 5 hours.DAY ZOIL’s motorcade pulls a spectacular U-turn and heads back up the highway in the opposite direction.DAYBREAK MOSES listens intently to his scanner. ZOIL No. Thunder Basis.94. ZOIL What else is around there? VOICE Not much. HIGHWAY .S. MOSES’S PICK UP . There was only one RV. do you? MOSES smiles. ZOIL Bethlehem Creek? Holy shit! EXT. VOICE . VOICE (O. You better spin your ass around.
EXT. . CLIVE What shall we say if it’s her? We’re here with the alien that killed your dog sixty years ago? PAUL Yes.EVENING Caption: Bethlehem Creek. Hurry up.DAY MOSES BEHE’s pick-up truck pulls a similarly spectacular turn and heads in a different direction. I’ll hang back with my buddy Ruth. you two make first contact. EXT. RUTH How do you know? PAUL It’s my job to know. Wyoming GRAHAM. EXT. Us? CLIVE PAUL I can’t just knock can I? What if she’s moved on and someone else answers? I’m sick of people fainting on me. Hello? GRAHAM CLIVE Knock again. Just enjoy it. CLIVE. FARMHOUSE . RUTH and PAUL stare through the window of the RV at the farmhouse glimpsed in the first scene. GRAHAM You don’t think she’s still there do you? PAUL That’s what you’re going to find out for me. HIGHWAY .DAY GRAHAM knocks on the door.95. there’s going to be a really big storm in exactly 34 minutes. TARA’S FARMHOUSE .
Nobody comes up here. . FRONT ROOM . dishevelled but with fire in her eyes. some kind of joke? CLIVE It’s no joke.96. RUTH and PAUL all sit on a sofa. staring at PAUL. PAUL INT. PAUL materializes between GRAHAM and CLIVE. TARA Where are my manners? I never really have guests. The door opens to reveal a woman (68). I go whole weeks without seeing a soul. CLIVE. I’m the writer. The sound of multiple locks. CLIVE stops him. Aw nuts.S.DAY GRAHAM. TARA’S FARMHOUSE.S. GRAHAM GRAHAM goes to leave. Silence. VOICE (O.) Who’s there? CLIVE Tara Walton? VOICE (O. She falls backwards into the house.) Leave me alone! Okay. TARA’s faces sickens. TARA sits opposite. Grey. Clive Gollings and this is my friend and colleague. RUTH Maybe I should make some tea. Graham Willy. CLIVE Miss Walton. PAUL Hello Tara. She scowls at GRAHAM and CLIVE. We’re from England and we’re here with the alien that killed your dog 60 years ago. TARA What is this.
TARA Listen to me gabbing. They told me it was a meteor that squashed little Paul. I pulled you from that spaceship myself. there Tara’. They said I was concussed. so I didn’t really have any friends. y’know? Spent a very long time trying to convince folk about what happened that night. she watches him. I inherited this place. She can be seen from where they are sitting. but I knew you were real. TARA goes to the kitchen. If Pop hadn’t had to go to Casper.97. said it was for cosmic radiation. Took me away and did tests they did. I just kinda retreated into myself. Everyone thought I was mad. I’d spend whole nights up on the roof. my friends. The match flame reaches her fingers. I always believed that one day you‘d come back and here you are. She turns the gas on and strikes a cooking match. hoping to catch a glimpse of you again. He just used to smile and say ‘there. struggling for something to say. hallucinating. PAUL Can I do anything to help? TARA stand in the kitchen doorway. What for? TARA . He got sick when I was seventeen and died a few years later. They kept telling me I’d imagined it but I knew different. PAUL looks pained. Word got out about my story not long after it happened. he would have seen you too. Milk and sugar? PAUL I’m so sorry. My parents. she shakes it out. TARA I’ve only just stopped believing in you. the lit match in her hand. Kids used to throw stones at the house and call me names. staring at the sky. Pop tried to understand but they filled his head with ‘delayed this’ and ‘posttraumatic that’. PAUL stands and walks toward her. Sat with you till the men came and took you away.
A tear gas canister spins at their feet. I was right and all those folk that said I was crazy? Well. where’s the back door? In back. TARA That doesn’t matter. PAUL vanishes. Don’t you see? You’re real. BACK ROOM . waitA burst of psychic images explode into ZOIL’s head. PAUL For killing your dog and ruining your life. Clive? Yes? PAUL CLIVE PAUL A little help? . The gang freeze. The agent and the alien fall on the ground in an exhausted heap. putting his hand across ZOIL’s forehead. where do you suppose that came from? PAUL Fuck a duck! Get out! Shit! GRAHAM/CLIVE PAUL Tara. TARA The gang bustle out of the room just as the front door splinters inward. The tinkle of glass. They find the back door. spewing thick fog.DAY The gang quickly barricade the door of the next room and continue on toward the back of the house. just as it is opened by ZOIL. Tara.98. they can all go fuck themselves. PAUL It’s good to see you. TARA’S FARMHOUSE. Something hits the floor. ZOIL Paul. TARA Now. then reappears right next to ZOIL. revealing O’REILLY in a gas mask. INT.
He sees HAGGARD at the cellar door. Oh great! ZOIL EXT. Crockery explodes around them. HAGGARD Freeze. souvenirs from every UFO hot spot in the land. TARA’S FARMHOUSE. He gets out. One the wall is the ‘Take Me To Your Dealer’ poster. INT. TARA’S FARMHOUSE . gun drawn. HAGGARD approaches.DAY ZOIL sees MOSES run round to the front of the farmhouse. TARA Storm cellar! TARA opens a nearby door and motions them down some stairs. space monkey! GRAHAM We’re cut off. PAUL sees it. shotgun in hand. CLIVE picks PAUL up. Come on! PAUL GRAHAM Ow. PAUL still in CLIVE’s arms. my shins! INT.DAY TEAM PAUL climb out of the cellar and start to run towards the RV. Screeching brakes draw his attention as MOSES BEHE’s truck skids up. PAUL Not a fucking cent.99. ZOIL Godammit Haggard! INT. BACK ROOM . Models.DAY The gang descend into a dim room. ZOIL Help me up! . as HAGGARD fires wildly. books. CELLAR . BACK ROOM . TARA’S FARMHOUSE.DAY ZOIL comes to. toys. It starts to rain. TARA’S FARMHOUSE. It is full of UFO paraphernalia.
DAY CLIVE I’ll drive! Punch it! GRAHAM . devil! INT. MOSES is knocked off his feet as flaming wood and debris rain down. hit the deck. FRONT ROOM . RUTH! Papa? MOSES BEHE RUTH PAUL grabs RUTH’s hand. EXT. TARA’S FARMHOUSE. O’REILLY Ready or not. covering their heads.100. just as MOSES BEHE lumbers into view.DAY O’REILLY sees TEAM PAUL running toward the RV from the front room. RV . PAUL MOSES BEHE (levelling his shotgun) Take your hands off her. Come on.DAY The farmhouse explodes. through which we see the cooker. INT.DAY TEAM PAUL reach the RV and start to board. INT. He levels his pistol at PAUL and squints. TARA’S FARMHOUSE . Pull back to reveal he is stood by the kitchen door. TARA’S FARMHOUSE. KA-BOOM!!! O’REILLY is vaporized in a ball of orange fire. TARA’S FARMHOUSE . EXT. ZOIL and HAGGARD who are only just clear. He fires. the simmer of gas in the air.DAY O’REILLY find his mark. FRONT ROOM .
101. TARA’S FARMHOUSE . What? GO LEFT! PAUL CLIVE PAUL CLIVE hauls the wheel left. sending the passengers flying. GRAHAM lands in TARA’s arms. CLIVE I think we have a problem. reversing out onto the road. takes off in pursuit. wait! HAGGARD takes off. Loud thunder. narrowly avoiding MOSES BEHE’s truck. INT. RUTH in PAUL’s. draped over HAGGARD’s shoulder. TARA straightens herself and looks out of the RV at her destroyed home. RUTH and GRAHAM exchange glances. isn’t he? RUTH You have no idea.DAY ZOIL is blackened and dazed. Lightening flashes. ZOIL Damnit Haggard.DAY CLIVE floors it. . GRAHAM Your dad’s persistent. The RV roars into life. The sky is almost black. HAGGARD drops ZOIL and runs to his car. TEAM PAUL hang on for dear life. Dumb luck. My weed! TARA EXT. ZOIL staggers to his car and with great difficulty. His eyes focus on a figure in the near distance. CLIVE pulls a spectacular U-turn. RV . MOSES BEHE picks himself up and lumbers off towards his truck. The RV leaves the road and bounces across the scrub. CLIVE sees their pursuers in his wing mirror. RAIN lashes down. GRAHAM What do we do? Go left.
IZOIL INT. VOICE I don’t wanna hear from either of you jokers until that little mother fucker is under glass. He is manic and wild eyed. I’m assuming command.EVENING ZOIL (to himself) What the hell is he doing?! VOICE (O. Where’ my fucking mooncoon?! HAGGARD Just ahead of me sir. HAGGARD’S CAR .) Zoil. Yes sir! HAGGARD HAGGARD floors it.S.EVENING HAGGARD In pursuit. sir. ZOIL’S CAR . We’re heading East across scrubland just North of Mitchell Creek. Agent Zoil has been compromised. VOICE Who the hell is this? HAGGARD Haggard. INT.) Now wait a goddamn minute! VOICE I don’t give a shit who’s in command. DESERT ROAD . ZOIL (O. EXT. Progress report! Sir.S.102. . sir. ZOIL and MOSES follow the RV across the scrub.DAY HAGGARD.
the RV is in the lead. circulating in the troposphere. RV . He yells. INT.DAY We see the chase from above. He looks up into CLIVE’s eyes. this is going to be a good one.103. Nothing. is HAGGARD. gaining behind them. CLIVE A GOOD WHAT?! RUTH stares out of the window. EXT. PAUL Don't let him get past. Oh my God.EVENING CLIVE What are we doing exactly? PAUL (to himself) Immense pressure and temperature drop.DAY CLIVE They’re trying to overtake. INT. two opposed fronts clashing. followed by ZOIL. High winds. hail pings and bounces off the hood. RUTH . SCRUB .EVENING The RV nudges the BLACK SEDAN which spins out of control and skids to a stop. Oh. HAGGARD turns the engine over. ZOIL and MOSES scream past. DESERT ROAD . RV . CLIVE Shall I ram him? YES! RUTH/TARA/GRAHAM/PAUL CLIVE wrenches the wheel hard to the left. then MOSES. Lightening explodes overhead. HAGGARD draws level. EXT.
which comes bouncing across the ground toward them. we’ll get sucked right up. MOSES and ZOIL unable to stand against the RV. It rakes the ground. Paul! CLIVE ZOIL PAUL Stay on target. A branch smacks on the windshield. PAUL Stay on target. he swerves to up just ahead.104.EVENING The grain silo bounces close to avoid it and stops. They watch the front. almost wind and debris. EXT. CLIVE Are you sure you know what you’re doing?! PAUL Twenty seconds. TARA Paul. MOSES pulls get out of the vehicles. INT. now a good distance in the tornado. reducing a small farm building to a million splinters. cracking it.EVENING CLIVE swerves to avoid a grain silo. heading for the heart of ZOIL’s car. EXT. RV . ZOIL’S CAR . SCRUB .DAY ZOIL is sat mouth agape. -Shit! INT. SCRUB .EVENING A massive black funnel extends from the sky about half a mile ahead of the chase. .EVENING HolyMOSES BEHE INT. MOSES’S PICK UP .
ZOIL turns to see MOSES BEHE pull off in pursuit. I can do this! ZOIL Haggard. ZOIL MR. SCRUB . Stand down! HAGGARD (O. EXT. SCRUB . ZOIL grabs his radio.) He’s mine. Wait a minute! An engine revs nearby.EVENING ZOIL watches amazed. He almost smiles.EVENING PAUL? NOW! CLIVE PAUL The funnel suddenly evaporates into the sky.S. hang back.105. stand down. hang back! . BEHE! (into is radio) Damnit. ZOIL He’s insane! RUTH! MOSES BEHE HAGGARD’s car screams past. leaving the path ahead clear and oddly calm. ZOIL Son of a bitch! ZOIL looks at the sky. ZOIL Haggard. ZOIL Haggard. It’s gone! GRAHAM CLIVE Where did it go? EXT. it’s suicide. His face drops.
We’ve learnt how to live with them.... why don’t you count back from 10? RUTH Okay. ZOIL Haggard.9. know their personalities.. know when they’re playing games... You had your chance.106.EVENING CLIVE They’re still coming! RUTH WHAT ARE WE DOING TO DO? PAUL Ruth. HAGGARD (O. 3. 10.S. how to understand them.. he knows what he’s doing. PAUL Back where I’m from.) You’re not running this show any more Zoil. CLIVE They’re gaining! PAUL We’ve learnt to anticipate their behavior... RUTH .) ZOIL It’s a trap! INT. So do I. HAGGARD (O.. RV .S. tornadoes are part of our daily life. RUTH GRAHAM What games? 2. RUTH PAUL Hide and seek? 1.
heading back in the opposite direction. CLIVE looks into his wing mirror.EVENING A wide eyed MOSES yanks hard on the wheel. GRAHAM embraces RUTH and tries to kiss her. EXT. He high five GRAHAM and pats CLIVE on the back.EVENING MOSES’s truck hurtles past ZOIL’s car. PAUL Where’s Tara? TARA comes out of the toilet. SCRUB . GRAHAM RUTH Wait. she pulls away. INT.S. what about Papa? CLIVE I only saw one car following us.) Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus! ZOIL looks back toward the no unreachable RV. just as the tornado snakes down out of the sky between them and HAGGARD. PAUL jumps in the air and whoops. CLIVE Great Caesar’s ghost! RUTH How did you do that? How did you know? PAUL Evolution baby. He barely has time to scream before his is lifted into the vortex. INT.DAY CLIVE We’ve lost them. Sorry. MOSES BEHE (O. RV . . MOSES’S PICK UP .EVENING The tornado touches down hear HAGGARD’s car. EXT. TEAM PAUL erupt into cheers. SCRUB . spinning the truck round.107.
108. Crane up as TEAM PAUL climb the hill to reveal a sight familiar to anyone who has seen Close Encounters Of The Third Kind. The others follow. GRAHAM There goes the deposit. coughs and dies. Steam rises from the radiator. DEVIL’s TOWER Of course! GRAHAM/CLIVE . SMALL ROAD . You were a faithful and mighty steed. Oh no. It whines. Amazing driving Clive. Cut to TEAM PAUL stood around surveying their fallen companion. Wasn’t it.A.) We’re here. RUTH If there is a benevolent creator watching over everything then may he. A single bullet hold in the grill. TARA She rode that storm with a bullet in her heart and didn’t stop until we we’re safe. she or it bless the 1985 Holiday Rambler. TARA The bulb's gone in there. Everyone looks to PAUL for his comment but he is not there.. Imperial.T. It was like G. but potentially fatal. CLIVE Fare thee well friend. GRAHAM That was just awesome.S. CLIVE EXT. PAUL is stood away from the RV at the foot of a small hill.EVENING The RV splutters to a halt.. Clive? Clive? A knocking and a gurgling sound is coming from the engine. reveals the cause of her downfall. He starts to climb. Paul? GRAHAM PAUL (O.
TARA I climbed up there in 1976.EVENING ZOIL drives. put there by William Rogers in 1893. Scanning the landscape. Haggard’s dead. VOICE What about the other one? ZOIL I lost him when the ranch exploded. sir. He was the first man to climb the tower. EXT. all the way to the top. Zoil. this has been one fuck up after another. Thought it would make a good site for some UFO spotting. VOICE Zoil! What the hell is going on? ZOIL We got hit by a twister. Searching. VOICE Jesus Christ. ZOIL’S CAR . RUTH What you may not know is on the outside of the tower they bolted a series of ladders.109. DEVIL’S TOWER . Now where’s that RV? ZOIL’s eyes widen. PAUL We call them IFOs. I should have handled it myself. VOICE Zoil? ZOIL? ZOIL is staring at DEVIL’S TOWER. Turns out I wasn’t the only one. Parked on the roadside is the RV. INT.DAY TEAM PAUL hike towards the tower. I want that little bastard dead by midnight tonight or you’ll be working security in a convention centre. Cute. TARA .
FOREST . It explodes. He lights his last cigarette and takes a drag. the trees give way to a piece of open pasture flanked by pine forest. the tower opens itself up slightly. The firework the sky. CLEARING . EXT. PAUL takes ground. Pretty. PAUL This is it. As they round the corner the landscape changes. torch in the other. fast. DEVIL’S TOWER. a perfect natural amphitheatre. like a wild animal. He sets off up the hill. spare ammo and a webbing pack which he slings around his shoulder. He pulls out a large piston. He cigarette. Beat.NIGHT TEAM PAUL are walking round the tower. His face fixed with serious intent. PAUL I-thank-you. EXT. PAUL takes out the firework. What now? We wait. PAUL I’ll miss these. SMALL ROAD .110. TARA GRAHAM PAUL A light appears in the sky some way off. DEVIL’S TOWER. EXT.DUSK ZOIL opens the trunk of his car. it illuminates the tower.NIGHT ZOIL runs through the bush. . rises into and bright the firework a little way off and sticks it in the crouches down and lights the touch paper with the then scampers back to the gang. Zippo and cigarettes from his back pack. gun in one hand. The star-burst is massive red. PAUL (CONT’D) (frowning) That was quick.
heavily armed SOLDIERS.NIGHT The lights are really close now.. PAUL Wait a minute. He fires a second shot into the leg of the other soldier who collapses. Oh shit. The PILOT fires but misses ZOIL. ZOIL takes out his shoulder. Angle on the bullet as it passes in ECU. They level their weapons.111. DEVIL’S TOWER. holding a smoking gun. PAUL (CONT’D) Behind them. the HELICOPTER powers down. CLEARING . coming to rest on one knee. searching beneath. Spotlights cut through the night. just as ZOIL bursts through the trees behind them. A HELICOPTER swoops in to land. Rotor blades. FOREST . EXT. VOICE Well. They are accompanied by a deep rumble. He pulls the slide back on his pistol. Ahead.NIGHT TEAM PAUL watch as the ethereal light draws nearer. spinning him off his feet. he sees an ethereal glow. I should’ve known. A very earthly sound. VOICE steps forward.. The bullet whizzes past him. The shot moves round behind the bullet to reveal PAUL. VOICE appears flanked by two faceless. ZOIL rolls. looking shocked. kicking dust and debris into the air. The bullet explodes from the gun. EXT. DEVIL’S TOWER. We go into slow motion. The door opens. CLEARING .NIGHT ZOIL leaps a fallen tree. PAUL! Lorenzo?! ZOIL PAUL PAUL spins round. through the trees. whaddya know? Small world. EXT. VOICE It was you! You told him. slamming into one of the soldiers. DEVIL’S TOWER. (MORE) . ZOIL fires. TEAM PAUL turn back to the woods but are stopped by the sight of a torch getting nearer. He leaves his gun at VOICE just as the PILOT bursts from the cockpit. straight at us.
PAUL How’d you find me? VOICE It was pretty easy once we got a fix on the geek-mobile. a sad smile creeping across his mouth. then GRAHAM then CLIVE. . That’s why I put you in charge of this fucking mission. CLIVE Blind fury. VOICE Too bad. I of course mean big fucking gun. then RUTH. Let’s go. ZOIL I don’t want to be where you are. PAUL nods. In five years. VOICE VOICE (cont'd) TARA stands in front of PAUL. CLIVE He’s not going anywhere. You always did have a flare for the dramatic. VOICE points his gun at PAUL. The blade falls off.112. ZOIL He’s my friend! I’ve known him for twenty years. He introduced me to my wife damnit! VOICE You stupid son of a bitch. VOICE Be honest with yourself. he holds it like a proud Samurai. You’ve never made a mistake in your life. who summons every ounce of bravery in his body. you could have been where I am. What is it that you think you can possibly bring to the table at this stage in the game? CLIVE reaches beyond his back and produces his KATANA SWORD. seeing as I’m the one hold’ng all the cards and when I say “cards”. Wasn’t hard to figure out where you were headed. two scoops.
wounded. PAUL Thank you. GRAHAM renews his attack. unconscious. ZOIL Do you have any idea how difficult it was to catch you guys? PAUL (laughs) Let me take a look at that. CLIVE Bloody low grade Turkish alloy. you fat nerd. TARA You’re not taking him away again.113. CLIVE (in Klingon) Graham. his this man. shine the torch down here? RUTH grabs a torch and steps in behind PAUL. TARA Leave them alone. GRAHAM slams his fist into the face of the unsuspecting VOICE. GRAHAM Leave her alone! VOICE throws them off and comes face to face with TARA. CLIVE steps aside. VOICE Step aside. PAUL rushes to ZOIL who lies on the ground. RUTH Leave him alone! VOICE hits out at RUTH. ZOIL The things I do for you. Ruth. WHAM! She whacks VOICE across the face with a large stick. He staggers backwards and falls to the ground. He staggers back but rallies quickly. TARA Don’t mention it. huh? PAUL You know I appreciate it. Tara. RUTH leaps onto VOICE’s back and starts pummeling his head. . blocking GRAHAM’s second blow and delivering a heavy rebuke.
I never meant to shoot her. I’m so sorry. I should have never persuaded you to come with us. She smiles. Everyone looks up to see PAUL. My little Ruth. I’ve lived more in the last 48 hours that I ever did in that trailer park. TARA and ZOIL look aghast. Hey. GRAHAM Noooooooooo! GRAHAM gathers RUTH up in his arms. His face white. where is everybody? RUTH shudders and dies. CLIVE He’s not a goblin he’s from another planet. his eyes wide. and miss all this? Graham. flecks of blood around her mouth. She coughs. silhouetted against the moon.. Everyone turns to see MOSES BEHE. Ruth. A shadow is cast across RUTH. I’m so sorry. MOSES BEHE But he can’t be. His eyes glint. he. PAUL There is no way this thing isn’t gonna end happy. GRAHAM He’s an alien you stupid man! Oh Ruth.. RUTH focuses on GRAHAM. Isn’t that what you said living was all about? Right now? This conversation? That tree? My next cheeseburger? I’m not afraid anymore Graham. MOSES BEHE What have I done? I’m sorry. Ruth I’m sorry. MOSES BEHE I.. RUTH What.114.. suddenly limp. his eyes are filled with tears. BLAM! RUTH lurches forward. shotgun smoking in his and. weakly. MOSES BEHE Oh Lord. I’m cold though. He.. I was aiming for the goblin.. GRAHAM buries his head in RUTH’s hair. puts his and on GRAHAM’s shoulder. CLIVE. .
A large spaceship lands hard on top of VOICE. VOICE I wouldn’t saySPLAT. Is anyone hungry? I really feel like a cheese burger. The air hums. Everyone smiles then after a bit become uncomfortable and a bit grossed out. PAUL. They kiss with awkward passion. charged with static. MOSES falls to his knees and sobs. GRAHAM and CLIVE exchange a look. Everyone watches transfixed. With some difficulty. RUTH You can kiss me now. She blinks both shining. CLIVE holds out a hand to stop MOSES. a number of PAUL style aliens are now present. EXT. DEVIL’S TOWER. He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see PAUL. MOSES BEHE RUTH and GRAHAM hug. Thank you. She smiles at him.NIGHT Some time has passed. . CLEARING . PAUL Happens to the best of us. pointing his gun. Relief and joy spreads through group. she sits up and takes off her glasses. healthy eyes. He obeys. Everyone looks shocked. PAUL drops to his knee and places his hands on RUTH’s chest. PAUL Looks like the geek shall inherit the earth. The group turn to see VOICE. PAUL’s skin ripples with color. CLICK CLICK. MOSES drops his shotgun and lumbers over. GRAHAM Ruth. upright.115. distraught. MOSES BEHE Get away from her! Don’t you touch my little girl. RUTH’s eye flickers and opens. are you okay? RUTH I think so.
ZOIL Safe trip Short Round. God be with you. CLIVE You can keep it. They high five. PAUL kisses and hugs RUTH. ZOIL and MOSES have joined them. thank you. PAUL turns to GRAHAM and CLIVE. Although you know what? Sometimes. PAUL I’m sorry I frightened you so much your hair turned white. Three tits. The boys nod.ALIEN QUEEN OF THE VARVAK from his pocket and hands it to them. Another two help the now healed feet. less is more. whose arm is in a makeshift sling and shakes his hand. PAUL Whatever dude. . He pulls JELVA . patting them on the back and shaking atmosphere is amiable. MOSES BEHE I will sir. PAUL turns to ZOIL. You helped me see the light. PAUL (to MOSES) Take care of her big man. One of them uses from the hull of soldier to their their hands. PAUL (CONT’D) GRAHAM No. TEAM PAUL look at one another. You freed me. Thank you. PAUL Cool. awesome. PAUL (CONT’D) Lorenzo Zoil. Say bye to Karen for me.116. GRAHAM What did you think? PAUL Yeah. you’re a good man. RUTH You didn’t frighten me. The a big hose to clean the remains of VOICE the ship. Okay.
leaving them in darkness. TARA I don’t have my toothbrush. He turns to her. SIGNING PAVILLION . CONVENTION CENTRE. The light form the ship gradually fades. Subtitle: THE BULB’S GONE IN THERE. our friend. PAUL and TARA stand in the doorway. The boys laugh. Pause. MOSES and ZOIL watch them go. speaking in a strange tongue. He face drops as he walks to his ship. They look more confident. you won’t need teeth. He pats her on the ass as she walks away. He takes in incandescent orb from his pocket. CLIVE You are. PAUL Baby. Might come in handy. GRAHAM That was good. TARA takes PAUL’s hand. We come to rest on a long line of people. GRAHAM. GRAHAM and CLIVE give PAUL the CE3K salute.117. TARA is waiting for her goodbye but PAUL ignores her. PAUL Come here you fucking geeks. CLIVE is talking to a short woman in an EWOK costume. They hug. . One of the other ALIENS comes out of a small room behind them. and always will be. you know. TARA frowns then follows PAUL aboard. Think I owe you a new one. if a bulb goes. PAUL gives them the finger. Sat behind a table are GRAHAM and CLIVE. where we’re going. tears in their eyes. PAUL (CONT’D) You coming? What? TARA PAUL I ruined your life Tara. cooler. CLIVE. As the door slowly closes. PAUL (CONT’D) This is a self-sustaining light orb. wasn’t it? INT. The ship lifts off into the sky. All around them are stacks of their new novel: PAUL. RUTH.DAY We are at Comic-Con the following year.
Hey.) Next in line please. were you. won’t you? RUTH kisses GRAHAM. He winks at the boys..118. if you’ve had your book signed please move on. MAJOR NERD 2 Uh. did you? GRAHAM/CLIVE There you go. were you. RUTH rushes up to GRAHAM. THE END. SECURITY MAN (O. CRANE up to reveal the whole convention floor. PUBLICIST Just one item per person please. SECURITY MAN Guys.. did you? GRAHAM/CLIVE There you go. Two nerds approach..S. ... she is dressed as Storm from X-Men and pushes a customized buggy. A banner hangs behind. MAJOR NERD 1 Uh. in which sits a baby dressed as Professor X. displaying the cover. They sign copies. The PUBLICIST mills around. GRAHAM’s own rendering of their alien friend. RUTH GRAHAM Hey babe. Michael Biehn’s here! CLIVE Oh. Tilt up to reveal the security man. looking very pleased.. It is none other than former Special Agent LORENZO ZOIL. You okay? RUTH I’m just taking Tara over to the autograph pavilion. say hi from us...
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue reading from where you left off, or restart the preview.