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BRAVE

NEW WORLD
MAYORAL CANDIDA JOURNAL
by
ORI ALON
THE NEVER ENDING FUN CAMP
Summer Youth Camp Counselor
Private Prisons of America (PPA, LLT)

● Help provide an experience
children will never forget
● Flexible background checks
● Camp may extend to two years
● No Spanish required
● CPR training optional
● Sleep away camp
● Sex offender friendly
● Minimum wage

Counselors are required to
facilitate groups of children in
cages, distribute blankets and
frozen food. Preference will be
given to applicants with limited
communication skills.
To apply send a copy of this flyer
with your name & contact info to:

CoreCivic Family Detention Centers
10 Burton Hills Blvd.
Nashville, TN 37215
800-624-2931
PublicAffairs@CoreCivic.com

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Paid for by Ori for Mayor LLE-WNCPQ783 Non Qualified
BRAVE NEW
WORLD
Mayoral Candidate Journal
by
Ori Alon

DRAFT COPY
NOT REGISTERED TO VOTE
(DISREGARD)

Alfassi Books
Beacon NY 2018
www.alfassibooks.com
Property of Humanity

IN HONOR OF ASYLUM SEEKERS
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As we learned about the systematic abuse of immigrant families thousands of
Grannies from all over the country rode week long caravans to the southern
border and rallied in many different cities to demand an end to the US family
separation practice. I volunteered to drive one of the cars, help with logistics and
issue Playful Paperwork documents along the way.
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Empowering Clerks Network & Sex Offenders, Newsletter April
2018. Join mailing list at www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Dear friend,

Last year I came back home after a long weekend to find an envelope from
a NC Correctional Institution in my mailbox. It was from Mr Marcus D. Hunter,
a life without parole inmate who murdered taxi driver Abdoelhafiz Hassan
Hamed Dowlieb in 2004. Marcus, who had an extremely hard life attached his
application for ECN Forgiver's License (pg 14) and asked to become an
Empowering Clerk and issue Playful Paperwork documents to his friends. We
became pen pals and I helped Mr Hunter develop and have a small income
from his portrait drawing (you can send him your photos and he'll mail you
back a portrait for a donation). Marcus have shared with me his traumatic life
story, the abusive conditions in which he and millions of others are kept
behind bars and I have shared with him about my life. I find Marcus to be a
sharp, talented and self aware writer and I hope he'll reach many readers in
the future. I've sent him a lot of paperwork which he's been issuing to his
fellow inmates with great efficiency. Considering my own family story, this
new friendship is extremely bizarre, and I'm excited to see where it'll lead.

A few weeks ago I got another letter from another inmate in the same prison
who requested to learn more about the Empowering Clerks Network (ECN).
When I looked his information up I found that he is serving a 206 years
sentence for 'crimes against nature' which included raping a 13 year old. It
seems like it was a lot of effort for him to write the few sentences in his letter.
I feel a disgust thinking about it and I didn't want to take a photo of it and
share it online, as if his actions or the unmet needs behind them don't
deserve the light of day. In contrast, when I first found an original Hitler stamp
I was somewhat excited to lick it in order to create various comics with him
and Stalin - it's much easier for me to find compassion in my heart towards a
murderer or even a mass murderer than towards a pedophile sex offender.
Placing Hitler on Freud's couch was somewhat natural and easy for me to do,
but thinking about helping Joseph deal with his childhood and the feelings he
must have seems unreasonable and maybe even impossible. Joseph didn't
ask for any specific document yet but just wanted a general information about
the ECN. I've sent him a copy of Regulations are Flexible, but what should I
do if he decides to apply for a Forgiver's License, Compassion Card, Apology
Declaration or other documents? Shall the ECN deny services from sex
offenders, or revoke documents of recipients who were found guilty of such
crimes? What do you think? Please reply to this email with your thoughts and
I will keep you updated about this bureaucratic process!
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Like cigarettes and cancer movies, ads and books that include content that is abusive to
women often lead boys to and girls to learn unhealthy behaviours and later on it enable
men to abuse their power and treat women in violent or disrespectful ways. I think it's
reasonable to use that analogy and pass similar laws regarding warning notes as offered
in the images above (with a more skilled graphic designer of course).
Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
ECN-CSB Board of Elections www.supportivebureaucracy.org

U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530-0001

Dear Attorney General Sessions,

It is with great pleasure that I announce to you that I will be
running for Mayor of Beacon NY next November. I am sure you
will find great pleasure in learning about my numerous campaign
promises - free ice cream for elders on Mondays, 17% tax
deduction for men who express vulnerability, free (Refurbished)
Samsung Galaxy for residents of Washington Ave and North
Elm streets, legalizing marijuana, renewing the Iran Deal and a
sincere promise to only say positive things about my opponents.

There is one campaign promise though that I struggle with, and
I'd love to have your advice on how to solve my conflict while
keeping my integrity as an emerging politician. I promised to
lower the voting age to six, as children are much more
compassionate and rational than most adults. However, I don't
want this to be just a secular law. I want it to be based on the
Holy Bible. Unfortunately, I'm mostly familiar with the Old
Testament, and that knowledge too is very limited as my Bible
teacher in middle school had a skin condition that made it hard
to focus on the class, I'm sure you understand. So if you can
think of anything from this great book, a quote, an acronym or
any hidden message that can legitimize my new legislation I'd be
extremely thankful! Please call me or fax at your convenience.

Yours truly,
Ori Alon
Mayoral Candida
City of Beacon NY (e-fax code Efj*73_L6)

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Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 1-917-5334703
Department of Foreign Affairs www.supportivebureaucracy.org

August 25th, 2018

H.E. Mohammad Javad Zarif
The Honorable Foreign Minister of the Islamic Republic of Iran
Imam Khomeini Avenue, Tehran, Iran
P.O.Box 1136914811

‫ اﻟﺳَ ﻼ ُم ﻋَ ﻠَﯾﻛُم‬Peace upon you Mr. Zarif,

It is with great pleasure that I let you know that I officially adopt
you as an uncle (according to ECN Regulations.) The
Empowering Clerks Network recently sent an official memo
encouraging people who live in countries that are in conflict to
take the extra step and add their enemies to their family circle in
honor of the victims of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima.
Although I grew up in Israel my grandparents immigrated there
in 1951 from Baghdad, Iraq, which not only makes us neighbors
but perhaps even blood family - would you be interested in
taking a DNA test to see if we have any common ancestors?
I was very disappointed with the cancelation of the Iran Deal. I
want to reassure you that if I'm elected Mayor of Beacon (a
small town about 90 kilometers north of Manhattan) on my first
day in office I'd sign an executive order to renew the deal. I hate
to sound like a Yiddishe Mama though, but just be careful with
that stuff, it's very dangerous! Even if you decide to use it it’s
better to be cautious so nobody gets hurt, ok? I can ask on
Facebook maybe I can find some like minded Israelis so you can
work on nuclear safety together? What do you think?
Last but not least, I'd like to offer the Iranian Government
assistance with adding more paperwork to your people. When I
started the Center for Supportive Bureaucracy I didn't imagine it
was going to be an international movement. But after 250,000
documents issued and over 200 Empowering Clerks actively
issuing Playful Paperwork documents around the world
(documented and undocumented). No matter what is your
religion or culture, we all need more paperwork. I’d love to
translate Joy Permits, Forgiver’s Licenses, Apology Declaration,
Village Fool Diplomas, Love Reciepts, Racism Release Forms,
Adults Special Achievement Stickers, Refurbished Report Cards
and other official documents that can be used by your people.
‫ ﺧﺎﻧواده ﺷﻣﺎﺳت ﮐﮫ از ﺷﻣﺎ ﺣﻣﺎﯾت ﻣﯽﮐﻧد‬،‫ھﻧﮕﺎﻣﯽ ﮐﮫ ﻣﺷﮑﻠﯽ ﭘﯾش ﻣﯽآﯾد‬. (When
trouble comes, it's your family that supports you) and since we’re
all one big family I can also mail you an official ECN embosser in
Farsi so you can have the documents certified and not worry
about their legitimacy. Attached is your ECSK2.0 (Empowering
Clerk Starter Kit) with 50 6 months Joy Permit in Farsi (renew
online or use white-out).

Yours truly,
Ori Alon
Director, Center for Supportive Bureaucracy
Mayoral Candidate, City of Beacon, New York

Ps our new relationship does not oblige us with any financial
responsibilities to one another. Please review and sign the
attached Chosen Family Affidavit (MAA-XLZJ-40077S)

The sons of Adam are limbs of each other, ‫ﺑﻧﯽ آدم اﻋﺿﺎی ﯾﮏ ﭘﯾﮑرﻧد‬
Having been created of one essence. ‫ﮐﮫ در آﻓرﯾﻧش ز ﯾﮏ ﮔوھرﻧد‬
When the calamity of time affects one limb ‫ﭼو ﻋﺿوى ﺑﮫ درد آورد روزﮔﺎر‬
The other limbs cannot remain at rest. ‫دﮔر ﻋﺿو ھﺎ را ﻧﻣﺎﻧد ﻗرار‬
If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others, ‫ﺗو ﮐز ﻣﺣﻧت دﯾﮕران ﺑﯽ ﻏﻣﯽ‬
You are unworthy to be called by the name of a Human. ‫ﻧﺷﺎﯾد ﮐﮫ ﻧﺎﻣت ﻧﮭﻧد آدﻣﯽ‬

Sa'adi (1210-1292)
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Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
Department of Church and State www.supportivebureaucracy.org

The Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Thekchen Choeling,
P.O. McLeod Ganj
Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh (H.P.)
176219 India

Dear Mr. Lama,

Your smile is beautiful. Thank you for inspiring all of us to be
better human beings. I wish all world leaders would follow your
lead and highlight compassion in their governing actions. My
father in law sends his regards.

I'm excited to share with you that I presented my candida to
Mayor of Beacon New York, a small town about thirty hours west
of Vancouver. If elected, I’d make Buddhism the official religion
of our City, add ‘In Buddha We Trust’ in all City buildings and
official communication and nonviolently convert all churches,
mosques and synagogues into Buddhist temples where
believers can worship you without fear of being persecuted. I
need your help Mr. Lama, your official blessing and public
endorsement can help me win the elections.

Attached is your Forgiver's License Class A, which allows you
to forgive yourself and others. If you wish to validate your license
please submit your Form 601(c) the Compassion Exam and sign
the box ‘I agree to support other human beings’. If you wish to
open an Empowering Clerks Network (ECN) branch in
Dharamsala please contact the Center for Supportive
Bureaucracy (CSB) directly.

With the joy of giving service,
Ori Alon
Mayoral Candidate, Beacon New York 32
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Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
Department of Racist Assholes (DRA) www.supportivebureaucracy.org

May 18th, 2018

Mr. Aaron Schlossberg*, ESQ., PLLC
275 Madison Avenue 14th Floor
New York, NY 10016

Dear Mr Schlossberg,

We understand that you must be hurting right now and it's
hard to imagine what it's like to be in your shoes. Such media
attention must make you feel bad, and we hope you have a true
friend you can share your feelings with (consider awarding them
with a True Friend Diploma, BFF). As a courtesy of our
Commissioner of Compassion, we'd love to offer you empathy
services. If you'd wish to apply for a Forgiver's License, please
file the attached Form 601(c), the Compassion Exam and
submit your application to the ECN (Attn: Processing
Department) with a photo you'd like to use on your license. If
you wish to apply for a Class B license (forgive others only)
please note that occasionally applicants may receive a free
upgrade to Class A license (forgive oneself and others). Please
remember to contact our customer service department with any
questions you may have. A famous Rabbi once said that
questions are 1348.7% more likely to make the world a better
place than concrete answers.

As dedicated allies to white men according to the NY
Diversity Authority White Men Registry of 2018
(#BeTheChange), it's a true honor for us to offer you our
services, which helped tens of thousands of recipients around
the world to increase their self esteem, happiness and Love
Efficiency Rates (LER). Research have shown that helping
white men improve their self esteem is one of the most effective
ways to make our country more resilient.
white men are significantly more vulnerable to become
victims of oppressing others than their peers. Therefore the
ECN, in full collaboration with the CSB has initiated the
Emotional Reflection and Advancement of White Men Act
(ERAWMA, 52248-E) which encourages people of color,
women and the LGBT community to support white men like
yourself in expressing vulnerability and deal with their emotions
in a constructive way.

It is people like you who inspire millions of people across this
great country to reflect on their true self and act more like
mensches. It is people like you who make America even greater
as you offer us an opportunity to become better, you are a pawn
in the hands of Progress. The ECN would like to thank you for
this great service and offer you in return some of our rich
catalog free of charge. The Empowering Clerks Network, LLCE
is currently the most efficient organization in the northern
hemisphere offering Playful Paperwork services. We are proud
to offer a variety of official documents including the Forgiver’s
License, Joy Permit, Pain Deed, Compassion Card, Adults
Special Achievement Stickers, Refurbished Report Card, DIY
Certificate of Recognition and Certified Apology Declaration,
among others.

We wish you a joyful spring,
Ori Alon,
Executive Empowering Clerk, CSB

*On May 2018 lawyer Aaron Schlossberg’s racist rant against
Hispanic workers in a NYC deli went viral, resulting in one of
most dramatic grassroots online & offline shaming campaigns in
recent history against Schlossberg. 35
Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
Department of Public Art www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Mayor Randy Casale
1 Municipal Plaze
Beacon NY 12508

Dear Mayor Casale,

First, I'd like to thank you for the service you're doing to our
city. Your love and dedication for Beacon are very much present
in the way you run the city and it's inspiring to witness. You're
awesome!

As you sure know, our country is extremely divided, perhaps in
a more dire way than it was during the Civil War. Liberals hate
Conservatives and vice versa, most political conversations end
painfully before reaching a real dialog, let alone any agreement.
Our common fire is long forgotten, and we must do something in
order not to be bystanders when history repeats itself.

I thought of an idea you might like, an initiative that I'm sure
will lead to a better communication between people of all sides. I
think the City should hire a certified graffiti artist as private
contractor to draw a simple black mustache with a sharpie on
the official portrait of President Trump in City Hall. We can then
publicize the act and get lots of media attention (we don't have
to announce that we're behind it). This way the Liberals can feel
as if they're actually doing something meaningful and
Conservatives can dismiss Liberal behaviour as childish and
immature. Bottom line is that both sides will be happy, and it
won't even cost taxpayers too much! I already contacted my
Instagram friend LXZU77 (he is a follower of Banksy) and he
said he'll be able to do it for only $500, not including materials,
shipping and handling cost of course.

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Honestly I would do it myself but I don't think my artistic skills
are right for this job. Like Marcel Duchamp's mustache on the
Mona Lisa this defaced portrait will have great artistic value,
which we'd be able to use in order to fund possible future
projects like a public sauna in the winter.

I'd love to know what you think!

With blessings,
Ori Alon
Mayoral Candida, City of Beacon

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NY Diversity Authority
White Men Registry
Ally Info Center

National Alliance
www.natall.com
PO Box 172
Laurel Bloomery
TN 37680

Re: membership application for a former Jew

Thank you for your work in advancing the wellbeing of the
White race. Like you I believe that white men need help in order
to reach their full potential in life and I fully support their fight to
end their unjust inner oppression. Last year I facilitated the NY
Diversity Authority White Men Registry in Beacon NY which
offered women and people from non white races to become
allies to white men and support them in their struggle to express
vulnerability, identify their emotions and talk about their feelings
and needs regarding racism and the #MeToo campaign. The
White Men Registry generated some heated responses, mostly
from white liberals who objected giving any attention to white
men. it also helped building the much needed consensus that
white men need emotional support from dedicated allies who
agree to wear a special button to make sure white men know
who to lean on when they feel lonely, greedy, discriminatory or
abusive before things go south.

E D
OR
N S
CE
Since we both fight for more well deserved empathy for white
men, I decided to join your Alliance. I’ve noticed that you don’t
accept Jews as members. Along with the $25 fee I’m attaching a
testimonial from a Rabbi that I am no longer a Jew since I
converted to Clowning back in 2016. I’m happy to send you
further documentation about my spiritual practice and answer
any questions. Please enjoy my book Regulations are Flexible,
which can be added to your rich online catalog.

As a courtesy of the Empowering Clerks Network attached is
your 12 months institutional Joy Permit by the Center for
Supportive Bureaucracy. Remember to follow ECN Regulations
to renew it (online or using white out).

May peace be with you,
Ori Alon

"Alon's White Men Registry helped me to develop more compassion and
empathy towards white men, which doesn't come naturally to me"
52 years old Latino male, NY
“Yes we need the White Men Registry because if I'm not going to laugh at
it I'm going to die”
Voter, WMR Referendum Jan 2018
Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
Department of Foreign Countries’ Annexation www.supportivebureaucracy.org

President Donald J. Trump
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Sept. 21st, 2018

Re: solving the crisis in the Southern border

Dear Mr. President,

The Southern border is over six hundred miles long, which
makes it impossible to protect the nation state from people from
other nations entering the US to seek refuge or a better life.
Those who believe that the nation state is a thing of the past
suggest open borders. That's a utopian position and the White
House shouldn't give legitimacy to such Clownish solution. If you
believe that the nation state is still needed or cannot be
dismantled there really need to be a wall or a security fence or at
least a little sign saying 'welcome to the US' there. But again this
is not practical considering the length of the border.
Mr President, I thought of a solution that will be in perfect
alliance with the unique history of the United States and can cut
the length of the southern border to less than a third of its length
today, making it a reasonable border to protect our unique
culture from being blended with the cultures of immigrants and
refugees from other countries. That act will easily make the
southern border only two hundred miles long (approximately, I
will measure it better on the desktop).
This will also make the incredibly dangerous and long journey
of those who flee Honduras and Al Salvador seeking asylum in
the US much shorter and safer, making you and me possible
recipients of a Nobel Peace Prize. I suggest we annex (or
invade) Mexico and Guatemala, this way we can draw the
Southern border over six hundred miles south of where it is now.

What do you think?
Best,
Ori Alon

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Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
Department of Law and Order www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Chief of Police Kevin Junjulas
1 Municipal Plaza
Beacon, NY 12508

Dear Chief Junjulas

I'm happy to inform you that I’m running for Mayor of Beacon.
If elected, I’m going to pass the Red Nose Police into law (I’ve
notified the Gesundheit Institute). This seminar is in honor of
Bogota Mayor Antanas Mockus who replaced traffic police with
mime artists, saved the lives of numerous drivers and
pedestrians and inspired many cities to follow his leadership.

As part of the initiative cops will be subject to a high-five quota,
wear a red nose (or silly mustache glasses) each time they
interact with people of minority groups or with white people.
Officers are guided to start each car search with a Knock Knock
joke (while respectfully knocking on the window). Of course our
staff is already overworked and we cannot expect them to
remember too many jokes so they can repeat the same joke for
up to two years. This of course is likely to make people of color
safer during their interactions with law enforcement while helping
liberals to hate police less (TTLGMA-77).

In order to conduct the ten days intensive seminar I’d need to
know how many Halal, Kosher, vegan, peanuts or gluten free
meals are needed. As you know sugar and processed foods are
the number one cop killers in America and I'd like to protect our
officers from this poisonous threat. I already planned on making
a scrambled tofu with just a little bit of avocado oil and extra
virgin agave syrup (it’s delicious) for most of the meals. LMK.

Thank you for your service,
Ori Alon, Mayoral Candidate
Beacon NY
Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.
Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508
Empowering Clerks Network 917-5334703
Department of Foreign Affairs www.supportivebureaucracy.org

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Dear Queen of England

Congratulations on your son’s wedding. I didn’t watch it but my
father in law had many things to say about it. The Empowering
Clerks Network (ECN) offers a Certificate of Live Marriage which
allows couples to celebrate and reflect on their relationship using
Playful Paperwork. You can download & print it for free at
www.supportivebureaucracy.org on page 47 or 55 on the
vertical documents Google doc (the index page is a little
disorganized, also do they use Letter size or A4 paper in the
UK? You might need to adjust the document when you send it to
print) or I am happy to mail you one or give it to you in person -
my father in law lives in Portugal, perhaps we can meet in
Casablanca or somewhere in the middle the next time we visit?

Currently I am running for Mayor of Beacon NY, a small town
about six and a half hours from Pittsburgh PA. We deeply value
democracy in our city, therefore if I’m elected you won’t be
welcomed to have an official visit in our city since you’re not an
elected official. You can stay in any of the many hotels or airbnb
but we cannot spend taxpayers money to host an official visit by
a public figure who wasn’t properly elected by the people.

In solidarity,
Ori Alon

PS In the name of Humanity I demand that you apologize for the
crimes committed by a member of your Royal Family the king of
Belgium, who murdered ten million people in Congo.
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The Hidden Fortune Wheel is a street art
installation inviting participants to imagine what it’s
like to be in someone else’s shoes for ten
minutes. Over 200 wheels were installed all over
the US and many are used by teachers and
instagram accounts to promote compassion, love,
hate, hope, diversity, despair, tolerance &
intolerance. Collaboration with Ana Azzue Gallira.
Learn more at www.alfassibooks.com
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Two days after the installation was posted the developer took down the Beacon Wall.
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More by Ori Alon: Regulations are Flexible artist book
Resistance Diary self help guide
Not All Men defense testimonial
Gender Neutral (Birth of Evil) post election memoir
Checkpoint Charlie, Hitler & Me, Patriot Act postage stamps comics
A Jew Killed picture book memoir
The Magic Bagel children’s book series
Bureaucracy as a Therapeutic Endeavor artist talk - presentation
Read ebooks & learn more at www.supportivebureaucracy.org

$ $ € ? $ € $ ? € $ ART IS WORK ? $ € $
If you enjoyed this book please consider making a PayPal donation
to oribeacon@gmail.com to support my work or Pay it Forward
with time / money / talent to another cause you believe in.

Thank you
Ori
Center for @Supportive_Bureaucracy, Empowering Clerks Network (ECN)
#JoyPermit, Forgiver’s License (Class A&B), Apology Declaration,
Refurbished Report Card, DIY Certificate of Recognition, Alternative
Street Signs, Racism Release Forms, OK Parent Award, Village Fool
Diploma, LLE, Open Carry Permit for Musical Instruments, PhB,
Pain Deed, Adult Special Achievement Stickers.
Aunt & Uncle Adoption Agency, Obituaries.
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THE MORE PAPERWORK THE BETTER