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ULTIMATE TEXT COMPILATION AND GUIDE Compiled by Intro

LEGEND: * =Weak ** =Pretty Good *** =Very Good **** =Flawless N/C =Needs to be Calibrated correctly for use according to Emotional Progresion and your frame N/F =Needs further field testing A/S =Another Forum Members Suggestion N/W =Needs Work, if not useless altogether P/S =Personal Suggestion

OPENERS
**** **** **** **** **** **** How's my favorite little brat doing? A/S- Better to add a number. How's my 3rd favorite brat doing? I just made you open your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in check=] IHOP - ness. Spell out IHOP aloud then say 'ness' Hey, goober, I just saw the cutest little X and thought of you You wouldn't believe the dream I had last night P/S: You were in my dream last night (Good opener for flakes) Its me, your cell that is, not wanting anything in particular right now, just wanted to get out of your pocket, smell from your genitals is unbearable, take care. P/S Instead of smell from your genitals use you really need a shower, or it stinks down there, N/C Heard you were attacked last night and the assailant gave you a choice, giving him your phone or sucking his d*ck, seems you still have your phone N/C I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me! A/S: If you're not smiling, then you're not thinking of me. =P Me sticking my tongue out at you I am luring women to my house with candy... do you prefer skittles or M&M's? A/F: (Bring preferred candy to next meeting, funny.) (Also, after reading posts they always pick skittles... I’m going to actually try and bring a fun pack of skittles when I’m out and use this as a funny opener. If they say skittles, I’ll take out the pack; pop one in my mouth and say, "want a skittle?") P/S: That is absolute and TOTAL GENIOUS! Want a Skittle?! :D Maybe it’s the booze talking, but I want you to know I love booze. Let’s party like rock stars that only play video games!

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what are you up to? 192y . I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend. What sort of trouble are you causing? P/S: I like to add: **** You’re doing something boring aren’t!? . ATTRACTION **** If I was your coworker.. you can always play it off like) PUA: Oh. Did I just see you?? What are you wearing? (This one's fun.... look at her butt! SURPRISE! Hey goof. A/F: I bet my weekend can kick you weekend’s ass! Ciao Bella! / Mi amore! / My Cheri amore! I just finished balancing my chi. Keeps up my degree of unpredictability plus is non-needy cause I’m not texting her back) Knock knock. I just don't think we should do this anymore.. we need to talk.) Let’s do the whitest thing imaginable.p If we were snow monkeys I’d pick the dead skin and insects off your fur even if I wasn’t looking to mate. Becky. cutie? :-) Listen. Remember that Cinco de Mayo is an important celebration for Mexicans everywhere except almost all of Mexico (seasonal) I know my math u+i equals 69 N/C Why aren't you here right now!! (Good when you're at parties) P/S: If she doesn’t know where you are.*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ** ** ** ** * * * * Smile if you masturbate **** (I've also used this while in the same room as the girl so you could actually catch em smiling... Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat. because I thought I just saw you just now at (such and such). . It's money. or even: *** You have to get your ass over here! It’s CRAZY! OMG.. Do you really think I get off on that stuff? You pervert! Girls are gross. I'd sexually harass you (If their is sexual tension) **** I think we should just be friends with sexual tension (If their is sexual tension) **** I bet you think you're hot and smart enough to be a pain in the ass (If acting feisty) P/S: Also amazing online opener! **** **** **** Sorry to break up with you via this text I know we haven't really dated but I think we should stop seeing each other. What are you doing.(62*84) = 12x + 45y solve for x and then graph (Sometimes I’ll send girls complex math problems. No matter what her response is. I do not text her back hahaha.

now please stay out of there P/S: GOLD AGAIN! *** PUA: Hey I was just thinking about you... Hey. I think you’re my favorite.p The police have found a burnt body. divorce.. P/S: NONE! This is GOLD! **** You just popped into my head so Hi. other examples: -So you could fetch me a drink and give me a foot massage -So you could clean my house and do my laundry (You get the point.but he's not spanking you enough! I don't think you're ready for this jelly Awww. you know what would be awesome? Going to.Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.. please let me know you’re alright Hey! I really miss you and want to see you badly BUT this dumbass security guard won't let me in the zoo. It sounds like you're being sweet at first but sets up the frame that you are the higher value one in the relationship) BALL BUSTING **** If you ever disappeared while hiking... and grow old lonely and depressed I don't know who you're boyfriend is. *** *** *** *** *** *** ** PUSH-PULL **** Out of all the (first name) (last name)'s I know. You're making me get diabetes I just don't think we should do this anymore. I'd remain with the search party until it started raining **** Two billion years of evolution and that’s the best you can come up with? . get married. the best way to forget about.**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** Let's fly to Las Vegas.. you're so sweet. I've used these for years with great effect. (venue that the HB dislikes) I think that would be in my top 10 of awesome shit to do. wish you were here(so you could cook me something and do my dishes (You can replace the parenthesis with anything you like. just making sure you’re smiling! Well now I can cross that one of my list and go talk to some other hottie Remember. argue about our third kid's name. your ex is by having sex with me . except its fatter and with a smaller brain than what’s common. I need a word.. Can you escape? I suggest we drink before we go out drinking I couldn't get through Mondays without knowing you're equally miserable (For negative girls) *dirty text message* P/S: Younger more tech savvy girls tend to get this better Just saying hi and wondering if that morning-after pill worked (Good set up for sorry wrong person) Don’t miss me too much. its urgent! Hey babe. please call me Call me on 02078377324. Hey! My friend just called me and said he saw a goofball running down the highway in her shit-stained underwear… if you need a ride. my batts bout 2 die.

**** Don't get too horny without me :P **** ** * Thinking of you.. Just hi or something.the crazy one. (and taking cold showers) =D I was thinking of you. Hit me back if you think otherwise. send this to someone you know who is HOT. Can you escape? Hey…do me a favor and text me right back. * Its a shame that you keep passing up the chance to have fun with quality people such as myself. which one are you.and I don't get impressed very often. naked.. FLAKES/GONE COLD **** Hey. Lets try it if not that's cool and I'm glad we met. I think we're really good together. I’ve been getting this fucking text all day .**** **** Hey! I really miss you and want to see you badly BUT this dumbass security guard won't let me in the zoo. and she said I should call. click click.. NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU! **** One hundred percent of homosexuals check their text messages with their thumb.. My friends don’t believe retards can text. So don’t freak out like you did last year..) COMFORT **** You make me feel like a pudgy. I guess I'll delete your number. I've been telling my mom about you.." (This always gets a good response if they are still interested. . just not to me. We'll show’em lil buddy “MASS TEXTS” **** Today is HOLY SHIT YOUR HOT DAY. :-) [Your name] **** Hey I hope you got home safe.. What kind of trouble have u been causing ** I like talking to you and I don't play games. winged child has shot an arrow into my chest cavity **** I couldn’t help noticing that you’re mind-blowingly hot **** Something about u seems to always make me smile. . the hot one. [Your name] **** So bottom line you kinda impressed me tonight. or the shy suggestive one? **** I just met your twin! **** I don’t know A/S: HB: You don’t know what? PUA: What? Oh sent that to the wrong person.. Too late to switch fingers now! haha =P SAME NIGHT **** Sweet dreams. If no response. sexy.. sorry. Keep up the good work .. DELETED!) .. just been sorting out my phonebook and found out I have three <NAME>’s.p **** Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day.

. HB: I don’t believe you! PUA: Fine.P/S: Seems like a needy threat? WHO IS THIS? **** Prince Charming. Especially since we both have a sarcastic sense of humor..” .. I’ll put that in. but you need to put ": the crush" next to my name”? I heard putting a word in along with your name in someone’s phone is a good idea) P/SPUA: Only if you change my name in your from “Future Boyfriend.. duh..P **** PUA: Is (girl’s first name) a good name for a baby girl? HB: Of course! PUA: Oh that's cool. I’m not naming it (girl’s first name). HB: Hi... **** I forgot my shirt of the floor. but why? PUA: My friends didn't believe retards can text. was at a guy friends house playing B-ball today and forgot my shirt *** PUA: Hey… do me a favor and text me right back. HB: Dude seriously. you have the wrong (her name) PUA: I told her I needed something else besides a 2-digit number next to her name in my phone HB: The best one. -Qualification :-) (Do you think it would be a good idea to text her "fine. ill get it this weekend" (Use this one MID AFTERNOON. HB: You’re such a player PUA: You are reading it all wrong. I was just wondering cause I got a girl pregnant.. P *** . did we show them! (Make sure she doesn’t have a relative that is mentally challenged if you use this *** PUA: Club Sandwiches HB: What???? Or Club Sandwiches??? PUA: Not Baby Seals Just saying hi and wondering if that morning-after pill worked Worked perfectly. They always take it that you "accidentally" wrote to the wrong girl.. PHONE BLUR **** I'm glad we stay mildly interested in each other's lives ** Wanted to touch base in case you get rich MULTI-LINER OPENERS **** PUA: What do you call a fish with no eyes? HB: What? PUA: Fssssh . Just hi or something. Boy. It’s a great way to get a response...

I'm just being an ass **** PUA: You know what I hate? When you're minding your own business then. You're still smiling . its cold out. You're an idiot. lol. this is a routine stack too. NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU! B: Okay.-) *** PUA: Congratulations HB: BLAH/WHY? PUA: I was just thinking of you. N/F) PUA: Brrr..want to rob a bank with me? HB: HAHA.*** (It’s a good C/F frame. Are you driving or are you shooting HB: Blah blah PUA: Oh a badass huh *** PUA: Hey chocolate or vanilla? HB: Vanilla PUA: Awesome I love that too... because you're a goof. Truth one is a lie. good you can make up for the black eye you gave everyone last year. What? (Or something of the sort. 3. Now you're smiling. I'm never expecting it. BAM! You’re being attacked by flying monkeys. because you just tried to proof truth number one. road trip! Assuming you're up to it MULTI-LINER ATTRACTION **** PUA: So are you in love with me yet? HB: Blah PUA: Wow (you’re/you) (lasting/lasted) longer than I thought/give it 15 mins. 5. I need a partner. Congratulations =) *** PUA: Hey I’ve been thinking. You can't lick all your teeth with your tongue. may work well though. most girls will play along) PUA: Seriously. 6. You'll send it to another idiot in the near future.) **** 6 truths in your life: 1.. remind me to give you a hug when I see you B: Haha! You’re getting an extra hug when I see you tomorrow. So don’t freak out like you did last year. 4. aren't you? **** PUA: Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day. 2. .. HB: I didn't know monkeys could fly PUA: That’s what makes it so hateful. **** PUA: Who is this? HB: [girl’s name] PUA: I know. P/S: (I’d follow up with something like. Think it's nice and warm in Belize? HB: I would go out on a limb here and say yes PUA: woo.. .. HB: What are you talking about? PUA: I knew it! You're one of those flying monkey lovers.. **** PUA: Don’t worry you’re still my favorite girl -wait 5 minsPUA: Or at least top 5. you’re my new txt messaging girlfriend for Thursdays HB: Awesome PUA: Ya I’d say out of all the 9 txt messaging g/f's your number 6 HB: How come I’m number 6? ...

*** PUA: Hey can you help me study? Or Hey I need help studying? HB: Sure what class is it? Or studying for what? PUA: Sex 101/Sex Ed ROUTINE STACKS **** PUA: I forgot. I will be there extra early! MULTI-LINER COMFORT **** PUA: Did you know that LIPS and KISS are typed the same way on your phone? HB: Ha ha. k. I can't wait to kiss them again.so don’t go jumping off a building or anything) ~Alternate~ Hey you cheeky-slag. are we fighting and most importantly am I winning? 1.*** *** *** PUA: Hey number 6 tell me what are your 3 best qualities and don’t you say your looks? HB: blah blah blah PUA: Well you've officially cracked the top 5 you’re doing well so far but are you cool? P/S: PUA: Well number 6.P Hey slut. can I at least get seconds?" what are you up to?" HB: "I’ll think about it ~Alternate~ P/S: Be the one in control. I need you to wine me and dine me and give me good backrubs. there is a way you could possibly move up in the ranks… HB: What?! PUA: Send me a picture and maybe if it’s a good one you will . HB response 1: What are you talking about? 2. come on over so I can get you drunk and bust a load off on your face HB: Laughs. PUA response 2: I am too high maintenance for you. orgy starts at 8:00. HB response 2: When are you coming back to shitburgh. PUA response 1: Stop acting up little sis 2. dork hehe but I still love you . you are so cute blah blah PUA: I love how soft your lips are. Well. but be there early so I can get you while you're still fresh" " HB: "hahahaha shut up PUA: "Fine. How are you with . orgy starts at 8:00. or pissed (If pissed Respond: Oh I must have mistook u for someone who had a sense of humor. for example: PUA: Hey you cheeky-slag. better be there early so YOU can get ME while I’m still fresh HB: Hahahaha shut up PUA: Guess you will have to settle for what you can get then! . you got my attention now what are you going to do with it. I thought we were getting married?\ 3. oh yeah. HB response 3: very cute. 1.P HB: Fine.

PUA response 3: You need better lines to get me then that little sis Just saying hi and wondering if that morning-after pill worked HB: Dude seriously. Sorry your age means you’re no longer the primary target market of pop culture marketers. but you need to put ":the crush" next to my name" ? I heard putting a word in along with your name in someone’s phone is a good idea) P/S: ~Variation~ PUA: Only if you change my name in your from “Future Boyfriend. Happy birthday to someone I can tolerate! I hope your party doesn’t fucking suck.. party) BIRTHDAY BALL BUSTING I’m not making any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are..** backrubs Gemini girl? 3.. I’d like to take you out for your birthday when it’s convenient for me. I remember when you weren’t so disturbingly old. I’ll put that in.P (It’s a good C/F frame) SITUATIONAL BIRTHDAY FUNNY **** Today’s the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother’s uterus. **** It’s your birthday but I’m still going to try and get all the attention. can work at any party not just bdays) **** **** **** **** **** **** *** .” . you didn’t remind me it was your Birthday.. you have the wrong (her name) PUA: I told her I needed something else besides a 2-digit number next to her name in my phone HB: The best one. (Situational. **** Wishing you happy birthday makes me feel gay **** You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you. Sorry. -Qualification :-) (Do you think it would be a good idea to text her "fine. ( (Situational works for any event: house party.