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Doing Time (for the things you never did) by Julya Oui

vergilya@gmail.com

Julya Oui/Doing Time/2 Better Lecturer I wished I could have been a better lecturer. I would have liked to teach you about happiness instead of how to scan with Photoshop. I would have liked to teach you about self-reliance instead of designing a logo in Illustrator. I would have liked to teach you about appreciating the beauty of the skies and wonders of the earth instead of making you work for the marks and credits which mean nothing in the end. I would have liked to teach you kindness to share with your friends and neighbors instead of showing you how to use In-Design to lay out a page. I would have liked to remind you of your strength and help build your confidence instead of reminding you of the late fees that will get you in trouble. I would have liked to share some time talking about the world and you instead of conditioning you to belief that success solves everything. I would have liked to be a little more understanding and be more compassionate when you didn't hand up your assignments

Julya Oui/Doing Time/3 instead of black marking you and comparing notes with the other lecturers. I would have liked to tell you it's okay to have chosen a course that doesn't suit you, to be at the bottom of the class, to feel like you don't belong because ultimately you can change your path and future instead of scaring you with rules and regulations. I would have liked to listen to your dreams and know what your passions are instead of ranting all the time about other things that don't matter. I would have liked to open you to a world of possibilities where nothing is impossible when there is love instead of locking the door, confining you to your space and leave you to fend for yourself. But I believe nothing is too late. Not in any sense. Although back then I was conditioned, just like you I am now awaken and I know you will be too someday. And for all those times you have been a teacher to me as much as I have to you.

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For my erstwhile students who were as much of a teacher to me as I was to them. And for the Psychnet Art Therapy group of gifted people.

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contents: Waking up on the Wrong side of Fate Clutter, Cluster, Hoard and Buy The Shape of Dreams to Come The Ballad of the Narcissist When Reality Bites the Dust In the Quietest Moment of an Illuminated Mind The Journey of a Reluctant Strategist Educating the Innocent Scholar Chasing the Wild and Nameless Wind The Worries of a Venerable Warrior Sustaining that Losing Luster Simplifying the Spirit Within End of Daze, Begin to Amaze The Birth of the 5E Principles 12 22 29 43 69 81 109 121 143 159 174 203 246 269

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The first thing to do is to wake up.

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If you still haven’t woken up you can either choose to go back to sleep or come out of the darkness.

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Aren’t you just so tired of it all? Everything you do, everything you are and everything you believe in? Don’t you think it’s time to fight the fight, fire the spirit and join in the march for the long battle of awakening ahead?

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You’ve come to a stage of realization. You want things to get better, not worse. You feel like everywhere you turn leads to another dead-end. Life is as bad as it gets. Enough is enough. And the next step is to do something about it or you could be doing time for the things you never did.

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When you are ready the world will be in your hands to mold, to destroy, to create, to love, to hate, to believe in, to deny, to ignore, to appreciate. When you are unhappy life is telling you to change your direction.

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Even after reading, knowing and realizing a whole lot of things you may still not be awaken. Transcendence is about connecting the past not ignoring it, affirming the present not dismissing it and envisioning the future not avoiding it.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/12 Waking Up From the Wrong Side of Fate Have you ever woken up feeling lousy about everything even before the day could begin? Was there a time you wished things were different? While forcing yourself into a routine act of doing what you have to do, do you dream of a better way to spend your life? Every once in a while something deep down in your guts tells you things are not the way it should be, and you know it’s true. You try to manage them and hope everything will get better but they don’t. Soon you begin to hate the way circumstances revolve around you and circle about you like vultures waiting for a kill. You want out. You’ve had it. But when you look at the mirror you keep telling yourself it’s easier said than done, so you leave this awful feeling to fester for another day. And it goes on and on like a never-ending spiral. Another day, another time, and another season is all you want to care about. But then, they come back. Like a creepy horror story, they come back. Sometimes in full force. Sometimes, little by little. But if you are finally shocked out of your system by an event, a situation or an incident, you are now awaken from the nightmare you were once running around in. No more, you say. No more. Fate, as we all know it, is in our hands. Although some events cannot be altered for whatever universal laws that we cannot comprehend, there are some things, especially our lives that can be controlled. We have a choice. An incident is an

Julya Oui/Doing Time/13 incident, whether we judge it to be good or bad, it’s how we handle it that makes it easier or harder to accept. If you take a walk alone and start observing life around you will notice that everything that you see has its proper place and function. You sometimes wonder about yourself. Where do you fit in the scheme of things? Of course there is a difference between thinking yourself insane and thinking about steps to take to the next level of life. One will lead you to selfdestruction and the other will take you to a place where possibilities are abundant. Whatever situations you may be in right now, there are ways to address the inevitable and the unforeseen. Mainly it takes some courage, some humility and some optimism to set the course back onto the right path. You can wait for the inspiration to come in the form of a muse and you can wish all you want from the genie in the bottle. But if you refuse to acknowledge even the smallest of things, you will always wake up from the wrong side of fate and you will be asking yourself the same question for the rest of your life. The question you ask may be similar with the next person who asks it but it is never the same. It only makes sense to you and the answers are always there waiting for you to discover. The only thing is, you have to ask the right question. Fear may stop you from carrying on. Fear may stop you from asking too many questions. Fear will only incarcerate you in the prison of your own body while it fools you into thinking that it’s comfortable and safe, when in truth it is draining you from your will and desire to be the best of what you can be.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/14 If you are awaken, you can fight it. You can pick up the pieces and forge your strength from every bit of yourself that you can harness to go against all odds. But if you are still half asleep in the bosom of your self-denial, all the muses and genies in the world will make no difference. And as long as you are contented to be lulled in the arms of slumber, just remember that you might wake up some day and realize that your time has been served.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/15 Succinctly 1. Wake up to a different music from now on. Instead of the usual routine do something different when you wake up. Change your diet, readjust your time and schedule to one that gives you something to look forward to. 2. Wake up with hope, with enthusiasm, with faith, with a burning desire to do something wonderful. 3. Meditate. Spend quiet time with nature. Observe life. Listen to your heart. 4. Unburden yourself from your stringent values and principles. Just accept yourself without reservations. 5. Accept everything and everyone else for what or who they are and stop being the judge, jury and executioner. 6. Quit from anything that brings you down.

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Nothing is as bad as we make them to be. Nothing is as good as we want them to be.

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You can never change a man to become any better than what he wants to be. If his desire is to commit crime then he will be a criminal. If his desire is to stay poor then poverty will cling to him forever. If his desire is to be down, sad and broken he will be showered with misfortune. But if he desires to try, to aspire and to endure he will be successful in every way. We may think it’s his destiny to be so but in truth it is because he desired it so full-heartedly it eventually became his reality.

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When you know yourself you will know the meaning of life

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We know it’s time to approach life from a different perspective, a different angle, and a different ideology when we get tired, bored, frustrated and miserable.

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If you think life is full of pain, frustration, anger, hatred, loneliness, emptiness and depression, don’t you think it’s time to do something about it?

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If you are not open to suggestion, criticism, advice, change and evolution, you would be as redundant as the day you decided you were not worth it.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/22 Clutter, cluster, hoard and buy The idea of having a storage room or area has been around since the dawn of mankind when excess dinosaur meat had to be stashed somewhere. It’s simply a depository to keep the extra things we buy for a rainy day, the paraphernalia we had gathered over the years and have yet to use and of course the collectible mementos that are too sentimental to discard. So this little room is fatted up like an animal for a festivity, which of course gets bigger and bigger as days go by. Soon, the good old times roll on and newer inventions take the place of our defunct knickknacks that live in this special room we assign them to and suddenly every item we used to have become miscellanies by default. And all the years of accumulation have taught us one thing and that is the fear of confronting the cleaning up. The thought of coming face to face with all our past, be it sad or happy, send shivers down our spine. Where do we begin? To start by opening the door to that dimension is harrowing enough to say the least . It’s been so long we have even forgotten what lives there anymore. If we are fortunate, the undertaking might exhaust us for a day, if not, it might take as long as our yearning for nostalgia comes to pass. The necessity for clearance is inevitable if we want to make more room for improvement. To avoid doing this will take us a longer time to realize what we are looking for and what we will be missing in life. By clearing up storerooms, wardrobes, garages and every other likely places of accumulation, this formidable act will eventually

Julya Oui/Doing Time/23 open up spaces and avenues we never knew existed. Although physically it may be demanding to get things straighten out, psychologically it also creates new possibilities and diverse probabilities. A neat and orderly table, room or space may seem like a somewhat insignificant undertaking compared to the many other considerable things we have to do to get by every day. But the fact of the matter is the improved version of our disheveled world will definitely help with the progression of our lives. Leaving the mess for a hired hand to spiff up may be a common practice for everyone, but this fairy tale approach will get us nowhere. It is not only inconsiderate but irresponsible. The less we accumulate, the less our burdens will be. Think of moving house and you’ll know how to respond to that. Life in the twenty first century has become undeniably versatile, convenient and immediate, so if you are encumbered by the entire shipment of your past you won’t be able to sail the seven seas to explore the other side of life. The deadweight that you carry will take you only as far as you can tolerate it. But once you learn the art of letting go, you will be freed from the many unwarranted obligations that have no place in your life. Ultimately, when you really sit down to consider, there is nothing as important as the life that you are holding in your hand. Everything else is inconsequential if you fail to make this life a memorable and adventurous journey. And on this pilgrimage, if you cling on to the baggage you lug around like an impoverished vagabond, you will forever be begging for more to fill up your sack of sinking treasure. You can clutter,

Julya Oui/Doing Time/24 cluster, hoard and buy all you want but while you are managing the excessive load on your back, many others would have already gone on to experience life on the next level. And you might be left behind to pick up the fragments that you once thought were precious to you.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/25 Succinctly 1. Look around you. Have you come to a stage where everything you own is just another big mess eating up your living space? So deal with it. Dig into it. Start by getting rid of small items and things you have no need for. If you don’t know what to toss away imagine this: in case of fire what is the most precious thing you would want to take along with you? 2. Give away, donate, sell or barter your stuff, be generous whenever possible. 3. Make room. Make room. Make room. There is no excuse whether you live alone or with company in a large house or a tiny domicile or if it’s fully owned by you or you’re just passing through. 4. Shop less so you will accumulate less. 5. Recycle, reuse and reduce whenever possible to produce less waste.

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accumulation leads to congestion congestion leads to indolence indolence leads to procrastination procrastination leads to indecisiveness indecisiveness leads to confusion confusion leads to frustration frustration leads to ignorance ignorance leads to repetition repetition leads to accumulation

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Everyone needs space. It is always better to step out of your circle than to stay within its perimeters suffocating all the time.

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If you have a store room, chances are, it’s already full.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/29 The Shape Of Dreams To Come Everyone has a dream they want to make come true at some point of their lives. It could be a simple wish for something small and desirable or it could be something great and life changing. Whatever the dream, there is not one that cannot be actualized for any reasons. But if the dream is not born of passion, but of fantasy or hallucination, then it will not amount to anything much. The dream I am talking about has a focus, a direction, and a life of its own. It’s not one of those fly by night I-want-this-now but I-don’t-think-I-want-it-tomorrow kind of a wishful desire. It’s the ambition that fills your entire being with wonderment and challenges you to go beyond your own understanding that makes you want to pursue it even more. If you are already awaken and find that there is no such vision in your life, it’s only a matter of time that something will eventually reveal itself to you. So how does one discover his dream when there is none that exists in the first place? Don’t deny yourself anything. Trust your instincts and learn to listen to your inner voice. All the answers are waiting to be heard and understood by you. See the signs around you. What makes you you? What drives you to be your best? What strikes you like a thunderbolt and makes you want to go on doing it where you will never stop for anything? If your conviction has the passion of water, enthusiasm of wind, fervor of fire and the integrity of earth, then this desire needs to be nurtured. Despite obstructions from people who are out to ruin

Julya Oui/Doing Time/30 your imagination, if you are still willing to sacrifice every ounce of your blood, sweat and tears to make it come true, then you’ll know what your heart truly wants. It’s the kind of aspiration you know you can attain even when everyone else says you can’t. And you can feel it like a burning fire that cannot be doused. But this is going to be a long and laborious journey. You will feel like giving up at times. You will want to cry out your anguish and wallow in self-pity. You will want to throw it all in and say you can’t do it. You will be told that you’re going nowhere with this, that you’re a failure, and you’re not cut out for it. In the end you surrender and join the rest of the dreamkillers to stalk for new virginal preys you once were. But somewhere inside the irregular beat of your heart, you know that euphoria of being alive when you do what you do best. You want to go back to it. You want to confront your adversaries and hang on to your beliefs. Without this desire you can’t survive the test of time. And with all your heart and soul and mind, you will know that this is what you want, this is the shape of dreams to come and it will be yours if you want it bad enough. Once you’ve made it real for yourself, you will find that there is more than just a single dream in a single thought because dreams do not end. They mature and take new forms and they take you on a voyage that goes deeper within where everything that you are and everything that you can be will be manifested. We are made to endure the most grueling trials and insufferable afflictions and nothing can stop the human heart

Julya Oui/Doing Time/31 from beating if it doesn’t want itself stopped. You are stronger than you think. But first, to even come close to realizing your dream, you have to know it through and through and be ready to pursue it like you’ve got nothing to lose.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/32 Succinctly 1. If you don’t think you have any dreams you want to make come true take some time off alone and list down everything that you would like to do. Once you’re done check it again and prioritize what you want to do most. 2. If you associate your dream with fame, fortune and glory you may be in for a big disappointment. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you have to do it. You do it because there is this desire burning inside you, there is this passion making you restless and there is this voice that invokes you. 3. One of the ways to determine what your dream may be is to ask that inevitable question: would you die trying? In other words, would you die for your art? Regardless of whether you get paid for doing it, acknowledged or revered, if you know deep down in your heart, body, soul and mind that this is what you want then there’s no stopping this dream from becoming your reality. 4. With this belief start charting your success by enrolling in a course related to it, strategizing a self-taught program, be an apprentice to the master and spend the next few years of your life honing yours skills through and through.

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Anything can be yours with constant innovation, development of skills, determination to progress and devotion to the purpose

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Dreams are steps you take to your final destination. You can’t stop once you’ve started.

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It you want to make your dreams come true you have to think it, work at it, and be it.

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Dreams don’t die. If they do then they are not dreams. They could be a wishful thinking, a devious plot or a sugar-coated fantasy born of self-centeredness. A dream is not a wish, it’s hard work to get to where you are going so that it will take you one step further to where you ought to be.

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Everything leads to something in the end. Try not to miss it.

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Every time you learn something new you change. Every time you change you evolve. And every time you evolve you take a step to higher grounds and get a better perspective of life.

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If your idea of pursuing a dream is to make everyone else suffer for it, whatever you do will eventually collapse.

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Imagine getting no support from anyone. No trust, no faith, no energy. You are at sub level zero. But deep down inside there is something your heart desires, something your mind believes and your spirit endures. Even when it is hard, when it makes little sense by human standards, and it doesn’t seem like it will pay off and you still want to do it, you’ll know this is what Passion is all about.

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If you have passion without compassion you are only fooling yourself because it’s merely an obsession. If you have compassion without passion you are also fooling yourself because it’s merely an obligation. Having one without the other is like having a heart without the soul.

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To know your dream is to know yourself through and through of what you are made of and what you will make of yourself.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/43 The Ballad of the Narcissist A dead-end is not the end but few of us recognize that. A dead-end in our lives simply means we’re going the wrong way. Although the logical thing to do when we are caught in a cul de sac is to remain calm, most of us will panic first before anything else. Most people would choose to immerse in their own aggravation or melancholy and lament of being lost rather than finding their way out. This ego trip that we take consumes most of our lives without us knowing it. The energy that it depletes out of us is enormous and its demand for our attention, time and strength is expensive and extensive. By the time we are finished there will be nothing left but a misconception of how to sustain our existence. Ego is nothing more than just an artificial design of ourselves created from the expectations, comparisons and assumptions of everyone else. The first time someone burst our innocent bubble is the time when we were shoved into a world where the concept of being better is always good. This deception will carry us over our teenage years and to the time when adulthood thrives on it. Being competitive is so great that lives are at stake once we lose. And from society’s faultfinding eyes we create a superfluous shield to protect ourselves from being sidelined and dismissed. Being misinformed and misled by families, friends, celebrities and media we become the social monster that is always afraid of what people will say or think of us. It has become so important it’s as though our lives depend on it. With this false imagery enshrouding us we continue to upkeep the person that we’re not in order to survive. Soon this other clone takes over and we begin to wonder why we lose our will

Julya Oui/Doing Time/44 to live, to achieve and to aspire. When we are not who we really are this carbon copy world will soon crumble and the ‘I’ will eventually go down with it. The danger of egocentricity can make us arrogant, self righteous, inconsiderate, prejudicial and domineering because we always feel we are better than everyone else. But the opposite of it can also cripple us with cynicism, ignorance, self-deprecation, low self-esteem and pessimism. Either way will still lead us to a deadlock or a standstill in our development. Once ego has a taste for blood, it will not stop until we are dispirited, broken and displaced. If we can look in the mirror and like who we’re not than we can only fool ourselves for as long as we are blind. But this blindness will be lifted up at the most inconvenient time to show us the clarity of our true selves at some point in time. Until then, you can continue to sing the ballad of the narcissist to yourself so long as you remember it’s only as good as it sounds to you. If we can learn not to place ego in our lives in the forefront we will continue doing what is true and sensible to us. If caught in an unpleasant situation we can walk away and not waste time trying to prove anything to anyone. We will have no excuses, habits or bitterness that will keep us confined and restricted. Even if we come up against some other dead-ends in our jobs, relationships or dreams, we can keep on moving until we find the way out. But if we dwell on our inflated pride we could remain lost and continue singing this universal song like everyone else or until truth makes a jarring sound.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/45 Succinctly 1. We are so full of it when it comes to doing something that needs a little more brain work. Most of us would rather not think and leave it to someone else to do it. But living this way is also a sure-fire way to a miserable death. So start thinking and start making decisions. 2. Get out of the pit and think of others for once. You’re not the only one who feels this way. 3. There is always a way out of anything. Even in the worst case scenario you can still find your way home. 4. Give yourself some time to sulk and brood but get out of it when your time is up. By controlling your down time you will be able to rebound faster in the future and have more up time. 5. Watch a movie, read a book, help someone who can inspire you out of your misery. Keeping to yourself all the time serves no purpose. 6. Why do you need to be arrogant for? Does it make life anymore worth living?

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If you are always afraid of what people will say you will always talk gibberish. If you are always afraid of what people will think you will always be a thoughtless person. If you are always afraid of what people will see you will always be arrogant. If you are always afraid of what people will hear you will always want to tell lies. If you are always afraid of how people will feel you will always want to be pretentious. If you are always afraid of what people will do you will always make wrong decisions and justify them with your ignorance.

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When in anger there are only two ways to settle it. To keep being angry or to let it go. To keep being angry you have to think of all the bad things that come with it, dwell on the idea of justice and vengeance, and build up enough hatred to last a lifetime. To let go you forgive and gradually forget.

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Everyone wants someone to apologize, but no one wants to admit they’re wrong.

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When you are truly nice to someone, no matter what happens, you will still be nice.

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If you always feel that there are things beneath you, you will never get to the bottom of them.

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When you are bitter with your life because you can’t see beyond your feet, you will never take another step for fear of tripping.

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You can blame your past all you want but that will never change the future.

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Do you sometimes think the whole world is an imagination and your life is just a dream? If you do you can choose to make it magical or you can choose to make it a nightmare.

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The drama that we put into life is enough to make a low budget, bad acting, cheesy day time soap opera but we still do it anyway. Doesn’t it make you wonder why?

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Life is always telling you things. If you are ready everything will be revealed. If you are not you will always be the one burying yourself with unnecessary work, blaming others for your failures, avoiding the truth, and hiding from the light that shines on your ugliness.

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Fear breeds lies, insincerity, insecurity, cowardliness, accusations, ignorance, cynicism, distrust, delusions, misconceptions, guilt, indecisions, and the list goes on and on.

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Greed makes us hasty, haste makes us greedy.

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Let’s talk about bad habits. Generally they can be summed up into two classifications. Possession and obsession. If you embrace them in your life you will always want things for the sake of wanting them, and you will always need things for the sake of needing them. Without either one you will have two less baggages to carry.

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Don’t keep nodding you head and say ‘I get it’ when you are not even lifting a finger to doing it.

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Indecisiveness makes us procrastinate, procrastination makes us indecisive.

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To find yourself in the darkness you have to find others in the light.

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Having a bad habit is like pampering yourself with the toy you never had when you were a child. You will never give it up until you mature.

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Just because you are in pain it doesn’t mean everyone else has to feel it too.

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If you are the kind of person who talk too much, think too much, or worry too much, you can be sure you are not a very creative person. You are just paranoid.

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Even love can’t save you if you have expectations that are tagged with requirements.

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If you can admit that you have failed that is the first step to success. If you stay at being a failure then you are acting cowardly. If you can acknowledge your weakness then you will know your strength.

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What are the top three problems for you personally, locally and globally. And what are you doing about it?

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Once you’ve got an ego to entertain you won’t have time for anybody else.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/69 When Reality Bites the Dust Who sets the rules of reality anyway? Who makes them up and distributes them for the rest of the world to follow? Are they just perceptions or are they what make us real? Some of these questions may have crossed our minds at one time or another and any definition is as good as no definition because in the end we all set our own reality. We see what we want to see, we hear what we want to hear and if we find a community who shares our convictions we would gather like flocks of the same species. Sometimes starting a new persuasion, sometimes fighting for the same cause and sometimes clustering close together to find a sense of belonging. The external world, as we know it, is everything that our five senses say they are. But in a blind man’s world his reality is not based on what we perceive as real. How could he know beauty as we do? If falling in love is about gazing at someone who looks good to us then how does a man without sight fall in love? If we limit our reality just based on these five senses then our vision of life falls short of what we truly are and what we truly can be. If your reality is full of expectations, then you will always expect something to happen for you. If your reality is centered on chaos then that is exactly what you’ll have to deal with. If your reality is surrounded by darkness then everywhere you go and everything you do will be in gloom. And if your ego clings to you like a parasite then you will always try to impose your reality onto the next person beside you because you want them to go to where you are going, feel

Julya Oui/Doing Time/70 what you are feeling and share your fears of what is real to you. The iteration of ‘get real’, ‘be realistic’, or ‘reality check’ can be heard almost every time when someone talks about wanting to get out of the system but not being able to due to constraints and commitments. Is this the kind of reality we want to live in? To be dictated by the limitations of our shortsightedness, deafness, insensitivity, blandness and anosmia? In this great expedition of our brief momentous life we could choose to make our own opportunity or we could choose to be opportunistic. To synchronize our opportunity with our belief is to explore uncharted regions that are remote and hard to get to. But to be opportunistic one just has to jump onto other people’s successes, believe what they believe in, feed on their energy and stay in the shadows for as long as the light doesn’t reveal your true intent. To everything that we decide to do the cause and effect will follow us wherever we go. Camouflaging yourself in the cultural and traditional rituals may allow you ample time to ignore your silent persecution. But in the long run, it would only amplify your fear to be independent and will turn against you when the time comes to adapt to new environments and shaking off old habits. As the world’s reality bites the dust, another will appear according to some leader’s perverted view. Whether you embrace it with your heart and soul or you remain inert is a matter of choice. If life is not working out for you would you accept it for what is or would you restructure your own reality and recreate a new path towards your destination? It all goes back to knowing where you are coming from and where you intend to go because reality is, after all, a state of mind.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/71 Succinctly 1. What is real to others may not be real to you. Make your own choices and decisions. 2. Don’t base your reality on something as unreliable as the five senses. Go beyond that and into something more profound. 3. Spending more time with nature and by yourself will give you a better sense of reality especially when you are not bombarded by commercialism, sensationalism and egocentrism. 4. Make things real for yourself because anything is possible and you don’t have to wait for anyone to do it for you. 5. You would be amazed to find that you are not alone. You are not insane. And you are not being foolish. Just be conscious of your surrounding.

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No one is totally sane, no one is totally insane, we have to be both in order to have balance.

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When you know you’ve worked so hard all your life and have nothing to show for it maybe you’re not working on the right thing. Experience and age doesn’t mean you will progress and achieve all that you want to, it just means you are growing older. You have to choose your direction and take the first step no matter how great or small.

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Wherever you are, however you are, it is never too late. But if you insist that it is, then you are defeated by the world’s oldest excuse, fear.

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Not everyone is meant to have greatness but everyone is meant to be great. You are always great in the eyes of those who love you.

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Miscommunication is the art of blabbering without knowing what you are talking about.

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Everything is senseless until we make sense of them.

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Everyone wants a solution but few want their problems solved.

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You look at people with your suspicious eyes, judgmental heart and narrow mind, and you ask why you are stressed out all the time.

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If you have never lifted a finger, used a bit of your gray matter, or hurt a little to get what you want, what makes you so sure you’ll do it when you have the time and money?

Julya Oui/Doing Time/81 In the Quietest Moment of an Illuminated Mind If we consider ourselves valued by what we do in life that’s how much we are worth. But if what we do give us no sense of purpose then our value will depreciate as time goes by and soon there will be nothing left but emptiness and a whole notion of what we could have been. In the different environments that we are exposed to people around us would have already contributed a huge amount of influences according to the merits we deserve and the credit limits we are entitled to. This will in turn measure where we stand in the eyes of the world based on our assets and liabilities, mensa score and level of acceptance. Being a best selling author, a world-class celebrity or sports person, a renowned leader or an eminent business tycoon may elevate your status from the rest of the world but other than that what else can glory do for you? In time everything fades and saturates away no matter how great it was once upon a time. If our achievements are meant to please others or to climb a rung up the ladder to stardom then there’s a greater chance that we’ll be here today and gone tomorrow. So what do we do to find a credibility to last us a lifetime? Basically, if we trust our instinctive nature, we wouldn’t have to worry about how much we measure up in the eyes of the world. To know what we are really intended to do we have to come back home to ourselves and the answers are all there in the quietest moment of an illuminated mind. The real answers are like a dormant volcano awaiting the right question to trigger its

Julya Oui/Doing Time/82 indisputable force. Given time and patience, there are more surprises in ourselves to discover than we believe we possess. Although we are not always placidly in the midst of a Zen discernment, unless one chooses a life of total submission to nature, we can still find time to access our inner being. The culture of distraction is almost as inevitable as resigning ourselves to the state of mind we are so used to. Everyday passes by without a thought if we are set on autopilot, and once we allow it to go on we might lose ourselves along the way. Self-discovery is an act of courage that we seldom see as life nurturing but it does save a lot of time running around in circles wondering about how everything else in the universe spins. The mind set that we have right now may not belong to us solely especially after getting bludgeoned by outside regulations and modifications but it doesn’t have to remain rigid and outmoded. Things change. People change. At an age where time is pliable and knowledge is accessible there is nothing that we want that cannot be acquired. You just have to be responsible for the things you ask for and be ready to accept the consequences where they are concerned. To deny yourself of this personal quest is to call it quits and wait for a slow death in a long walk. What you used to be is a story as old as the mountains and long gone like legends. What you are now is more important as you walk into the light or darkness in the transitioning of another day. The inner journey is the longest and most gruelling but getting to know yourself is greater than anything else you can ever imagine.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/83 Succinctly 1. You can choose to be your own worst enemy or best of friend. No one can make you hate or love yourself as much as you can. 2. If you are self destructive there must be a reason why you hate yourself so much. 3. Confidence, self esteem, self worth can all be reclaimed even if you lost it or never had it in the first place. 4. If you realize the pattern, people who are nasty are people who despise themselves so much that they have to take it out on others. 5. If you started life on the wrong foot you have to take a step to a new direction if you want to see any improvements.

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Blaming someone else for your misery lasts only for a moment, after that, you’re on your own.

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The four I’s of blindness: - inconsiderateness - irresponsibility - impatience - ignorance

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There’s a difference between optimism and ignorance. One is to never give up and the other is to always give in.

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If you think acting serious, responsible, mature, considerate, docile, tolerant, generous, courteous and wild come with an age tag, then there will forever be generation gaps, miscommunications and misunderstandings.

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If you’re the kind of person who gets agitated easily, it’s not the things or people around you that make you feel that way. It’s the turmoil within you that makes you perceive everything in a distorted fashion.

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Education teaches you to be the best but ironically conforms you to be average. They tell you to be like everyone else. To wear the same clothes, to think alike, to work hard for the money, to accumulate your wealth, to adhere to culture, and continue the tradition. If you accept yourself to be average everything in your life will be just that. Your circle of friends, your loved ones, your philosophies, your life and you future generations.

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The Back Seater watches the world fall apart from a safe distance and keeps his hands clean from involvements, attachments and commitments.

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The Noisemaker is someone who complains a lot, enjoys exposing other people’s weaknesses, does not want to find solutions, so full of himself and yet so empty inside.

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The Sheep is a follower who has a low self esteem of himself and everything around him. Doesn’t believe in contributing because he believes he has nothing to contribute.

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Discover your talents, find out what gifts you have. You will never know what you can do until you give it a shot.

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The definition of distraction is simple. You are distracted simply because you are not happy with what you are doing. Now the question is... why are you not happy?

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If you are inefficient you will always be: running late getting lost misplacing things wasting time be unproductive losing your cool covering up your trail justifying failure and instigating others Wouldn’t it be easier to solve everything by just being efficient?

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Nothing fills up an emptiness better than a good understanding of who you are, what you are and what you want to be.

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The amount of offence you take measures how much you hate yourself.

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If you are not a good listener, talk less. If you are not a keen observer ignore less. If you are not a responsible person, take on less. If you are not considerate, instigate less. If you are not hopeful, succumb less. If you are not generous expect less. If you are not who you are complain less and discover more.

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There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who know. Those who don’t. And those who couldn’t be bothered either or.

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There’s a thin line between being a millionaire and a million-ass. You’ll know what you are when you get there.

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If you think you don’t have the patience think about the time when you were in pain but now it’s gone. Think of the time when you wished you were older so that you could be on your own. Now you are. Think about yesterday when someone said or did something that made you feel so small. It is over. Think about the decisions you made. Right or wrong, good or bad, you already made them. If you start something now and forget about how to reach it, you would have already completed it. And you say you don’t have the patience?

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One of the reasons why we hate ourselves is because we are pretending to be someone we’re not, and that’s why we’re so disgusted by it.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/103

The worst form of rejection comes from deep within. No one can deny you worse than you can.

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If you can name one instant where you rejuvenated yourself without the aid of anything or anyone, you can have a million more just waiting to be explored.

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Being self-righteous means to only see with your eyes which you claim to be from the god you created for your convenience.

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You are who you are and you don’t have to be sorry about it.

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you know you’re spoilt when: - you expect everyone else to do the things that you’ll never do - you are inconsiderate, impatient and irresponsible - you feel life owe you big since you had it bad - you have this rule about being seen with only certain kinds of people - you envy someone who has more than you do, which he or she doesn’t deserve, and you feel it’s not fair - you make ugly faces at the things that irritate, repel and disgust you for everyone to notice - you look at other people’s unfortunate situation and say ‘thank god it’s not me’ - you can’t appreciate a good thing when you see one - you think people fall into categories they shouldn’t get out of - you value things more than people - you have excuse for everything that you despise - you are better than anyone else because you think you are

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Imagine a world without money. Where will you go? What will you do? Who will you be? Will you still have dreams? Do you want to continue doing what you are doing? Will your values change? Do you want to remain the same? Will you be worth anything?

Julya Oui/Doing Time/109 The Journey of a Reluctant Strategist Plan ahead and strategize but live life as spontaneously as you can. Planning is the destination; living is the journey. It’s well and good when we live our lives day to day and follow where the river flows. But this constant downstream rush, with an occasional stagnation in puddles and pools, can sometimes get to us when we see the splash going nowhere but down. If our lives are a series of cascades flowing down in descending degrees then life is nothing more than an existence that plunges over one obstacle after another until it reaches the end. The idea of going with the flow is usually the case with most of us. That means to go where the rest of the crowd are going without instinct or intuition. At first it may seem logical or practical until we begin to question ourselves consciously or unconsciously. This can be a problem if we are not ready to take the plunge. But if we start with little steps and a well thought out plan the progress will be gradual and endurable. But then again, as wise as it may seem to map out life in advance, things may not always work the way you want them to. It may differ by only a few marks or it may swing out of tangent from the intended path. Whatever the case, life usually takes the lead. When things go awry, life is simply rerouting us to gather the things we need to complete our journey. Don’t miss out on the opportunity by ignoring what may seem insignificant because every chance that comes your way can be beneficial. If you spend your time looking at the big picture you might miss

Julya Oui/Doing Time/110 out on the small visions. Everything and everyone is like a jigsaw piece that is needed to put together what you have been looking for all your life. The agitation starts when we want something so bad and nobody is giving it to us. While some people turn to selfdestruction, others will choose to take without consent. Either way, when you think about it, will bring everything to a halt and turn you into that nasty person everyone wants to talk about. It’s not about other people giving you opportunities that will only work, it’s about making your own and pursuing it with faith. A running river stops for no one. You can drift down like a flotsam, you can swim in it like a fish or you can maneuver yourself through like a channel and they all lead to the ocean in the end. By just merely looking beyond a few steps farther than where you are, you will be able to avoid deceptions and distractions that were never there in the first place. And to make things happen for yourself you can start by avoiding the journey of a reluctant strategist and start by sorting out your plans.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/111 Succinctly 1. Just like everything else in life it takes a few tries to get things right. Sometimes ten, sometimes a hundred. 2. You need not attend a course, have a high IQ or be among sages to chart your life’s plan. You just need a piece of paper, a pencil and a vision. 3. Planning a little saves you more time and energy than walking about listlessly looking for something to do. 4. Planning also helps eliminate boredom. 5. Planning doesn’t mean to go by the book of hard and fast rules and not allowing any spontaneity and detour when the moment calls for it.

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Never turn a bad thing away if good can come out of it.

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If all the forces are working against you, the only thing to do is to be calm. Relate to it, don’t justify it, understand it and drift with it until you find a solution.

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If we allow the rules of life to govern us, we will never experience the laws of attraction.

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Managing your days with a must do list is always easier than to leave it to chance. Without that you will frequently be listless.

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You can keep saying it’s not time for you to change or evolve, and you would rather take things at your own pace; the only thing is, how many more paces have you got left before you surrender and say, ‘It’s too late anyway’?

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If your plan doesn’t work out, then you are not doing something right. Go back to the drawing board, restructure, restrategize, recall. If you don’t even plan, how would you know where it went wrong?

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You don’t have to be a rat to be in the race, you can still be very human.

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Some people need to be pushed to succeed. Some people need to be coaxed to succeed. Some people need to suffer to succeed. Some people need to feel fear to succeed. Which one are you?

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You have to see the world for what it truly is and you have to be who you truly are, that way, no matter what, you will always be happy wherever you go.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/121 Educating the Innocent Scholar To be able to start learning something new we have to begin by getting ourselves ready to go back to being a student. If we walk into a room with that pseudo wise old adult attitude of ours, we will get nowhere fast. Knowledge is everywhere we seek them out. We can learn something from a fallen tree on the ground or someone’s spoken word, a line we read from an article or the way an empty stomach cries, the silence of a vigil or the cacophony of an incredible song. It’s how we embrace our everyday lives that make it easier or harder for us to become a willing apprentice. We could spend incalculable amount of money and time in seminars, courses and sessions with the greatest speakers and gurus ever bred, but it’s not going to do us any good if our minds stay below freezing point. The more we turn away from life’s instructions, the more we will fear the unknown. The true education comes not from what a sage or a fool tells you but how you use that comprehension to lead you out of your darkness. Anyone can follow the rest of the world chasing after something that isn’t there but only one with an inquisitive mind and a restless heart can find meaning to his existence. Learning the ropes from experienced and successful people is one of the ways to grasp immediate know-hows about a specific subject but it still has to be fine tuned according to your needs. But beware of the con artist who knows a lot about everything but doesn’t really know anything about something. To allow yourself to be superficial in many topics of interest will eventually expose you like a Mister or Miss-know-all who

Julya Oui/Doing Time/122 knew not a thing. Fooling other people about how well-read you are is simply a waste of time, a loss of self respect and an act that has no purpose. The learning process of any discipline is a serious undertaking if amelioration is on your mind. Things will always start off difficult and arduous at the beginning but in the yearning and hungering of your desire, as time goes by, everything will fall into place as though you never even lifted a finger. Thus, working smart is about liking what you do, be curious about what you need, and be passionate about all your wants. You only work hard when you have no other choice but to do it for the sake of doing it. To learn like a child you would have to shed off all stigmas that are attached to you like mosses that have gathered. Growing older doesn’t mean you hold a degree in wisdom. Educating the innocent scholar is a task that calls for openmindedness, humility, contemplation and devotion, without which nothing can be accomplished. Although much can be extracted from professional masters, the person next to you may even have a heap full of free erudition if he is willing to part with. Be a good listener and you will hear the secrets being revealed to you. Be a good observer and you will see the signs and messages all laid out in front of your eyes. Be sensitive and you will be begin to appreciate everything without having to judge, justify or discriminate. Don’t be too hasty to reject things that casually pass you by, you’d be surprised how much you can learn from even the tinniest and most insignificant thing, and that is real education.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/123 Succinctly 1. Learning from your mistakes is one way to improve yourself. But if you repeat it again, no one will be the wiser and stupid is only as stupid does. 2. A lot of things can be self taught you just have to have the discipline. Without discipline you can’t even learn from anyone else. 3. Baby steps is always the way to go. Jumping into a new venture of educating yourself may start like a conflagration and end up in smoke. 4. Nothing is truly wasted. Every life’s lessons become steps that take you to greater heights. 5. Being a teacher and a student is always interchangeable at different intervals of your life.

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Depending on others to make you a better person goes only as far as your knowledge can take you.

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To do anything cleverly you must first understand it in all aspects in order to foresee the problems, envision the direction and accept the consequences. If you know nuts about it, give it up. Otherwise go to the extend of knowing every single thing there is to know before you begin.

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If you don’t want to do something - leave it. Don’t throw a tantrum, make a ruckus, drop a sarcasm, or dramatize the situation just to get attention for your pitiful yourself. You’re not making yourself look any smarter.

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If someone wants to cheat you, anger you, find fault with you, just let him. He can only do as many times as you allow him to. In the end, false prophets, bias judges and mindless fools are all that they are. You don’t have to turn yourself into one of them.

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Boredom is not the end but the beginning of a creative journey to discover life.

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It is better to cry while doing something good than to cry of self-pity.

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If you are running a business, a career or your life at a loss, you better wake up to stop this arrogant, presumptuous and narcissistic mannerism of yours and listen to reason. But if you are adamant to the point of being blinded that’s your own egoistic downfall, don’t drag anyone in with you.

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Be good at what you do. Not 10%. Not 50%. But 100% of your best time, energy and spirit. If you still feel what you are doing is a waste of time, then whatever you are doing is not right for you.

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If your life is based on distinguishing what is good and what is bad all the time, chances are, you will never know the difference.

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We must always remember that the pie we will have to eat someday is going to be tasteless, unappetizing and downright agonizing. What better time to eat a little now than to force mouthfuls of humility down our throats later.

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Imagine happiness and you will have joy. Imagine love and you will be showered with affection. Imagine freedom and you will stand on independent ground. Imagine success and you will achieve glory. Imagine hope and you will have faith. Imagine equality and you will be charitable. Imagine taking the first step, and you will have your reality.

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The mind is a fantastic library. Spend some time going through the periodicals, journals and letters. You’re bound to find some answers.

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When a problem comes to you, after you’ve tried all ways to solve it but it still doesn’t work, walk away. Life is showing you one of two things. To iron out the issue, or to take a different route.

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If you see a difficulty as a problem then it will always be a problem to you. But if you see it as a challenge the solution will always be at hand.

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There are signs everywhere if you wish to see it and wish to make something of it. Just be conscious.

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An unsuccessful man’s rants are always the same. - I can’t do it - If only I could - I don’t know how - Why me? - Why not me? - Maybe someday - I don’t care - That’s who I am - It doesn’t concern me - I’ll deal with it when I come to that stage - I’m not interested - Be realistic - I don’t stand a chance - I prefer to go with the flow

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If you are that kind of a person waiting for a promotion, waiting for a raise, waiting for a bigger bonus, waiting for recognition, you will be one of those people in the world who is always waiting.

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Nothing is wasted, salvage. Nothing is wasted if you don’t want it to be.

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You can only win when you are ready to lose.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/143 Chasing the Wild and Nameless Wind To go after what you want most in life is like chasing the nameless wind. You can’t catch it or embrace it. Although you can’t see it you know it’s not an illusion. You can feel it all over you, like a powerful force or a gentle caress. Sometimes it blows away altogether and you know it will be back. But if you lose your imagination for it you might never feel it again. Finding ways and means to pursue your dreams is an act of faith. You will have to withstand the worst weathers on top of the aggravation you get from all other sources. One of the main reasons people give up is the fear of failure. On this road of life, there are millions waiting at the side to tell you it’s a fallacy to go after something you strongly believe in because they have been shaken up to this reality that tells them so. But this reality that they talk so much about is also tainted with vanity and megalomania. They would rather discontinue their journey and douse themselves with manufactured splendor than to struggle to find the missing link in their lives. A lot of things may seem senseless at some point of your life until you try and make some sense of them. If you leave it to chance, chances are, you will never truly know. Something that drives us to make decisions and taking risks without knowing the facts and figures can be an intuition. A gut feeling. An instinct. Or even foolishness. It’s up to you to distinguish what is what because in the end you can’t hide from your own true intention. To keep on track, as though you’re chasing the last train

Julya Oui/Doing Time/144 home, you have to build up your stamina to plough through every single obstruction that can cripple you one way or the other. Determination can be an ugly word when you are not at peace with what you are doing. Half way through this journey you may have doubts and disorientation at the crossroad. But it is not to say that we have to give up our preposterous idea of a dream. Another byway may actually open up to take us to a new edification that might help affirm our quest, or it might also reveal to us what our true desires are from our original purpose when we first started the adventure. While this dreary road is a solitary expedition, there is no reason why elation should be denounced. To go on this pursuit we don’t have to engage ourselves in the vow of silence, poverty or chastity, unless of course if we want to by choice. The people and things around us are all connected through mental, emotional or spiritual links and it would be irrational to shut them out when they are the very ones who are our teachers. Once in a while you might get to feel a breath of fresh air, or a light zephyr brushing through your hair; these are intimate gestures to remind you that what you cannot see doesn’t mean they are not there and what you believe in will always be true to you. You can still try and identify it or give it a name, but what good is it when you know a rose by any other name will smell just as sweet?

Julya Oui/Doing Time/145 Succinctly 1. If you think your existence can only be proven by a piece of paper then that is your only pursuit in life. 2. Going after something you love is the second longest journey you will ever have to take but you and I know that it is going to be worth it in the end. 3. The first longest journey is to find out who you are, what you want and what you are meant to be. Your pursuit will only be clear when you know. 4. It takes a lot of courage to go after something that you have no idea if it is the right thing or if it can work. 5. The best way to know if what you are pursuing is what you truly want is to measure it against gain and glory or fame and fortune. If you have none of those will it still matter?

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When you’re ready for success all the elements of the world will help propel you to the right direction.

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There is nothing wrong in pursuing fame and fortune. But if you lose yourself along the way, would it be worth all the money and all the publicity that made you who you’re not?

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It’s not how much you read and it’s not how much you know. It’s how much you do or don’t that matters.

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You can keep on chasing the success you hunger for. But it’s the people and moments you left behind and missed along the way that will make a difference.

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People want to be mediocre because they don’t want to do great things that involve creative thinking, risk taking and to be a target for criticism. They prefer to be on the safer side.

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If money is all you seek, money is all you get, so don’t complain.

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The people you despise are your driving force to succeed. The people you love are your inspiration to overcome.

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One of the things people are afraid of is to admit defeat. Pride plays such an important role that people forget it’s okay to lose sometimes.

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The man who pursues is the man who gets.

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There comes a time when you just need to shut up and do it.

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Your subconscious holds more information than you think you know.

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If a man can help someone be successful, a man can also make someone be unsuccessful.

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You can only see what’s up ahead if there is nothing beside you.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/159 The Worries of a Venerable Warrior And then the time comes around when you feel like you’re burning out. It’s too much. You want to just get away from everyone and everything, but you won’t give in, or at least not yet. So how do you survive this onslaught? How do you recharge and not have to carry the worries of a venerable warrior to dramatize your anxiety? There are as many ways to unwind as there are types of therapeutic remedies. Anything that you do in a congenial setting for your body, mind and soul has healing qualities that can rejuvenate you back into shape. A simple walk in the park, needlework, handcrafts, painting for pleasure, writing, cooking, car washing are just some of the simple activities to perform without much complication. Other forms of restorative solutions can include meditation, prayers or various holistic approaches. All of them have one central focus in common, which is to nurture us back to our catharsis. Nature, on the other hand, has always been an inherent source of providing energy, in whatever forms they may be, and it has much more to offer in terms of therapeutic supplements. Resting under the shady foliages of a tree, cooling down in a stream of icy water, or observing its unique network of life are some excellent ways to loosen up and just relax. Even a tiny plot of garden is bustling with activities for us to discover or enhance if we have the green thumb for it. If that is not your predilection perhaps other forms of light entertainment can also alleviate you in your time of angst. Music and movies have a great deal of influence

Julya Oui/Doing Time/160 on us more than we realize. By watching an uplifting movie or listening to an edifying song it can help us liberate our moments of fear and solicitude. We can even go to the extend of playing musical instruments to soothe our apprehensions while we’re at it. All these resolutions are a matter of being able to take time off from the reality, which we are subjected to live in, until we find our own space and time. There is no need to cower from the rest of the world because it doesn’t appeal to us and the journey of the warrior is a treacherous one masqueraded with abstractions. In dreams, our subconscious unveils our secret lives and hidden sensations but they are also answers to the many questions we ask. If our worries are unfounded it is better to discard them while we can before they accumulate into something that which cannot be controlled. The troubles in our heads are most of the time extrinsic and superfluous. They serve no purpose whatsoever but to bog us down with the many concerns of unpredictability of future events. The more one thinks about the ‘what ifs’ and be afraid of it, the more our time will slip away through our fingers. This kind of anguish that we attach ourselves to will only cause more panic and desperation. When we give ourselves in to such dramatization we will only get disoriented and end up making erratic decisions even on the simplest of things. Perhaps you might claim that you never wanted to be a warrior in the first place, but by nature we all are in our timid or valiant ways. The moment you disrobe yourself from being a warrior you would have already given up the fight. And the fight is not the war with outside forces, which you

Julya Oui/Doing Time/161 feel are devastating your existence, but the battle that you struggle with within so that you can bring out only the best in yourself.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/162 Succinctly 1. Depression is made worse with your guilt or anger from unresolved issues of the past. 2. If you find yourself burning out fast like a candle, the only thing to do is to find another source of energy or find that kind of fire that never burns out. 3. Worrying about a whole lot of things can be reduced by disconnecting what is unnecessary in your life. 4. When you feel like giving up look out for the little miracles that come your way. They are the ones that will keep you going. 5. Your frustrations with the world can make you cynical, suspicious and unbearable. Find your way out of this recurring vicious cycle. Making it hard for yourself will get you nowhere.

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It is easier for you to achieve anything if you have the mind of a warrior, the heart of a adventurer, and the soul of a seeker.

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Our body is nothing more than a form of restriction. We judge everything by the way someone looks, feels and appeals to us. But if you can live life beyond this limitation, you can do anything.

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Adaptability takes you to distances you can’t imagine possible.

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There will come a time when you will grow old, you will take second place, you will bow to the younger generation, and you will take a back seat. Are you prepared for it?

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Everyone has a self destructive mode. We can either choose to activate it, let it lie dormant until the end of days or defuse it.

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When you are confused, when you are uncertain, take time off to be alone. Be one with nature. A calm moment of pensive thoughts can reveal more things to you faster than unnecessary distractions.

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The world is evolving if you look at it positively, the world is ending if you look at it negatively.

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When you believe that everything is connected you will trust your instincts like a child.

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Life gets you where you want it to go. Let it go, don’t hold back.

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It’s about asking the right question. Instead of asking ‘why me?’ one should ask ‘what do I want from this?’

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To recognize the upside you have to know the downside.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/174 Sustaining that Losing Luster When you have come to the end of your dream or quest or mission, what next? Do you throw in the towel and say my job’s done and you get ready to retire? It could be a very self destructive act if the idea of retiring means to stop functioning, and something stops functioning only when it’s broken. A warrior’s journey does not end even after the battle is over. As we step up onto the next level of life, there will always be newer things to look forward to and more ideals to embrace. Living is an on going process despite what we do in the little corners of our world. It doesn’t have to be a mindboggling project or a life changing event that we have to perform to make us who we are, it could be something small to endorse us throughout the journey of life. Anyone can make it big if the passion is strong, but after the biggest show on earth we still have to go back to where we came from and to who we truly are. Will that be sufficient to sustain us for the rest of our lives? The completion is almost too easy compared to the maintenance which is hardest to upkeep. Through rough use and daily routines we become immune to the fact that everything breaks down sooner or later, even us. As we all know, giving care to what we treasure can prolong the durability of its lifespan. But how does one extend the shelf life of the human kind? First of all, health is one of the utmost important features of a person to determine his will to fight the fight or go with the flow. By understanding your own appetite for survival you will naturally find ways and means to proceed to making things happen for yourself; like

Julya Oui/Doing Time/175 starting a new venture or project, or taking up challenges that have values and significance to you. But if you are lost for ideas or stamina, start by doing something that which your heart desires. Perhaps something that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time, patience or finance to do it. Even pottering around a garden to germinate life is worth more than most menial tasks. The whole idea is to persevere in life and not keep it on a short-term lease. A lot of us rush through half our lives chasing the wild and restless wind and then we all stop when the wind dies down. When everything comes to a stand still, events and experiences that had made us great or celebrated slips away like a forgotten dream. Sustaining the losing luster is an on going performance to feel alive again. To allow our ego to tell us we have sufficiently improved and are abundantly learned will do nothing but smother our existence. By the world’s standards, the ineffective and unproductive will always be cast aside and ignored. But a lot of us fail to realize that nothing is really broken, everything can be repaired but no one wants to take the trouble. Age doesn’t break a person down but the idea of aging does. So is the idea of the ego who could never compromise. If we are able to accept change and the fluctuating rhythm of our lives we can ride through the waves with more ease and calm. Knowing that our prominence in the eyes of society is a brief encounter will also prepare us for the sudden paradigm shift so we won’t be lost among the misplaced generation. There will come a time when we have to stop asking ourselves where we are going and just keep on going as long as we can.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/176 If whatever you are doing now is of no importance to anyone else except your big boss who is raking in the goodies, then how much more important will you be when you become negligible?

Julya Oui/Doing Time/177 Succinctly 1. Everyone grows old some day and if you forget that you may end up hating the things that are about to come. 2. Prepare yourself for the long haul. Whatever you do now will only show when you grow older. 3. Youth never goes away. The child in you will always want what you want and love what you love. 4. Applying revitalizing products on your skin will make no difference if you are bitter, old and angry inside. 5. If you love something you will always keep it brilliant and shiny, so why not yourself?

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Never be afraid to ask. You will know what you want and what you need when you are awaken. But you must be willing to hear the answer.

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When you’re both arguing all the time isn’t it obvious you need the space and time to be apart? A little distance between two intimate people can sometimes be the best remedy.

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Friends go out to have fun, lovers go out to discover and spouses just go out. If you can be all three to each other, wouldn’t you have more reasons to be together?

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Life should be filled with little celebrations ... always. Not when the calendar tells you to, not when someone insists on it, not when you have the means, not when you’re lonely, and most of all, not when you need to.

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Don’t fool yourself, you’re the best con artist you’ll ever meet.

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Take a day off if you feel your life falling apart. Breathe. Smile. Live. Appreciate. Let go.

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If your life is falling apart it’s because other things need to fall into place.

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Wanting to start a family is not like buying a pet. Other than being responsible, loving, protective and committed you can’t just drop it by the roadside and hope it survives.

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I like to be with people who are happy with their successes, who need no excuses for them, and are appreciative of all things large or small.

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How to make a beautiful day ...

Be quiet if you’ve got nothing good to say Look at the clouds and skies and watch the rain Look at the trees shadowing the sun Avoid listening to hurtful nonsense Close your eyes and breathe deeply Have a fresh fruit or vegetable juice Caffeine and nicotine less Do a little side stepping while you’re showering Think of something positive to do for the day Watch the tree tops dancing in the breeze Read a beautiful verse or line or quotation Eat less Notice something different in your everyday routine Keep away from the papers Complain less Harbor less anger Listen to songs that make you happy Take matters into your own hands Reminisce on a joyful thought and smile Think of someone who loves you for who you are Remember love can overcome, truth shall prevail and patience will get you everything, every time.

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If you are so easily swayed by dynamic speeches, harangue sermons, and mystical messages, you may never hear what your inner voice sounds like.

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Love between two people can only be understood by them no one else should interfere.

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If you need to justify someone’s character by defending his qualities then something is terribly wrong with this person.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/191 Keywords that will take you far, or at least one step further: In the mean time In your pursuit for happiness, wealth, fame and greatness, what are you doing about now. In the meantime, are you doing everything you can to make life work? Everything and everyone is connected Whatever you say or do or decide affects the future in small or large doses. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction Karma or what goes around comes around Like a boomerang, what you swing out swings back There’s a reason for everything If you can see beyond your current state of affair, you will know that what is happening to you now will have a consequence later which will serve as a guide post Read the signs Life has nothing to hide. It shows you everything if you are a keen observer Ask the right question We only ask ‘why?’ but not ‘why not?’ Nothing is a coincidence, nothing is random They are only because we arranged them that way

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Laws of attraction The simple truth is, we attract what we want Trust your instincts Your five senses may present to you a distorted picture but your sixth sense will tell it like it is Everything vibrates at molecular level In other words we are all the same. From single cell organisms to nature to the universe. Letting go Whatever that is troubling you. Whatever anger, resentment, grudge you are holding back, if you let it all go, you will lose nothing but a bunch of worries you never needed in the first place. Be in control The best we can do for ourselves is to be in control of what we can and not lose it on what we can’t.

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Have compassion, not sympathy Have faith, not ignorance Have truth, not denial Have sincerity, not suspicion Above all have love, not conditions

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If you are at peace with yourself nothing really bothers you. If you are not at peace with yourself the weather will be against you, the environment will not suit you, the world will be upside down and the entire nation will have a bone to pick with you.

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Even husbands and wives should have separate time out rooms for the simple fact that everyone needs their own privacy.

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When parents punish a child to teach him right from wrong, does the child have the right to punish their parents and teach them the same thing when he grows up?

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If you think retirement is when you stop working completely, start enjoying vacations immensely and take long uninterrupted hours doing nothing, don’t you think growing old is simply devastating?

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A man who believes he has succeeded without the help of anyone has never truly been alone. A man who believes he has succeeded because of the help of everyone is afraid of being alone.

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To have a long lasting relationship both parties must be successful in the own right. For an unhappy, defeated person to lean on the other is a burden that will devour even the good things between them.

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If you are lethargic and jaded now imagine what you will be in ten years time.

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Family is not people you live with under the same roof. They are not bloodline that flows through yours. It’s the people you take into your heart that makes a true family.

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You can only see victory if you never give up.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/203 Simplifying the Spirit Within If we insist that life is never that simple there will always be responsibilities, commitments, obligations and a whole volume of do’s and don’ts to get by everyday. If life is not that simple what about death? Does it end all the complications in the instant that we die? If it does then our entire life would be such a shame and such a sham to culminate to something so mundane don’t you think? Why does life have to be complex in the first place? We could regard quantum physics as bewildering or we could take love as something paradoxical and unfathomable. This, again, brings us back to how we perceive or make our own reality. If we entangle it with sophisticated doctrines and labyrinthine theorems, we would never hear the end of it no matter how we try. Yes, life may be a struggle but it doesn’t have to be an incarceration laden with guilt, torment and anguish. The need for one generation to pass on the inconsequential suffering to the next should not be entertained anymore. To recreate a war for the younger generation to experience is undeniably absurd and this will only perpetuate the distorted hypothesis of segregation. The time we spend to unravel the intricacies of being human has taken too much energy away from us. It’s time to walk away and begin the process of simplifying the spirit within if we want a life that is beneficial and sensible. Life has so many wonders that we sometimes just want to grab everything we see and claim them to be ours the moment we get the chance. But being the forgetful beings that we are, everything will lose its glamour once we see glitter on other

Julya Oui/Doing Time/204 newest attractions. There are so many areas we could look into to simplify our lives. It could be the ostentatious fashion we are bestowed with or the extravagant cuisine we dine in or even the flamboyant life extraordinaire we are so used to. By prioritizing we don’t have to go to the extend of being frugal and be poverty driven. It just has to be simple. And it’s our choice to know how far it goes so as not to oversimplify and adopt the excuse for being randomly inconsiderate. One of the easiest ways to balance our needs is to disconnect ourselves from mind numbing games people play and envision our future with a clear conscience. You can beat the system. You can reorganize your strategy. You can do whatever the world doesn’t tell you to do. And the least you can do for yourself is to trust your natural impulses. The moment you can see things for its simplicity, you will never again be bored of the little, the much or the none, from a global perspective or a personal point on view. As you approach the end of your journey, you will realize the less baggage you have the better for you to carry on. With needless distractions, undesirable habits, trivial affairs and precarious assumptions you picked up on along the way perhaps its time to molt and begin metamorphosing. The heavier your load becomes the harder everything will seem. Make things easy for yourself and you will make things easy on yourself. After all, wherever you are going from here, you will need nothing else but your own truth, belief system, flaws, faults and faith. And that itself is already quite a load.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/205 Succinctly 1. The simpler your needs become, the simpler your life will be. 2. When you think about it ‘luxury’ makes everything complicated. From your relationships to your desires to your career to the very core of your existence. 3. The funny thing about people is they know eating well is good for them but they still want to indulge in rich and expensive food where they still have to pay for it later. 4. If you think having a simple life is for the simpleminded then you will never get out of the ramifications you already trapped yourself in. 5. Look around your self-claimed territory and you will realize how simple or complicated your life is.

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If you keep reminding yourself of a good time way back when you will never enjoy future moments that are to come.

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Everyone wants their lives to be complicated and full of drama because they believe having a simple life constitutes lack of ambition.

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If you don’t have any buttons for others to push you would always walk away a happy person.

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There are only so many scenarios the way our lives could wind up in. Whether you are the control freak, the lame loser, the raging rebel, the indifferent individual, the cunning conniver, or the peaceful warrior, you would already know how it is going to turn out to be, unless you decide to give it a twist.

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As long as there are battle of the sexes, there will always be casualties.

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All the beauty in the world will do no good if love is hidden in the shadows.

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You have to look at the big picture of life and remember it’s the small things that make it up that way.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/213 It’s the little things that count. It’s the way you stub your cigarette on the floor, it’s the way you discard a piece of paper, a plastic, or thrash. It’s the way you react or maybe it’s the way you act. It’s the way you count your money, or maybe it’s the way you make your money count. It’s the way you spend time with good company, or maybe it’s the way you are good company with your time. It’s the way you watch TV, or maybe it’s just the way the TV watches you. It’s the way you forward emails, or maybe just the way you write a mail. It’s the way you accumulate contacts, or maybe it’s just the way you make real friends. It’s the way you talk about the ‘shoulds’ of should be done, or maybe it’s just the way you do things without the ‘don’ts’. It’s the way you skim through things and walk in darkness, or maybe it’s just the way you talk of dreams and see the light. And all these little stuff are the ones that will make a big picture. It will turn out the way you piece them together.

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You can choose to blame the full moon, your bodily functions age, gender and ethnicity or even the painful past, your distraught present and indecisive future for being the way you are. But if you can ride over them, even if they were true, you would be unique because you are beyond influence.

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Life is boring only when you are

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The more you deny something that is true the more idiotic you become.

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If you listen to what everyone says all the time you will be reduced to nothing but another speck of dust underneath their shoes. If you don’t listen to what people have to say at anytime you are still a speck of dust floating in the haze. But if you listen and then think for yourself instead then you will be the dust collector who knows how to clean up the dirt everyone else left behind.

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Sometimes, people who disrespect you, make life difficult for you, are a thorn in your side, obnoxious in every way, are the ones doing you a favor.

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If everyone is equal, why do we need a leader then?

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Everyone has equal opportunity to do anything they want. Some want to be nasty, some want to suffer, some want to stay poor, while others want to succeed.

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Equality is meant for everyone but not everyone wants to be an equal.

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Change is a two way street. It goes back and forth. Evolution is only one direction that goes a full circle.

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If you need to explain yourself to someone you love then it’s not even love in the first place.

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If your family’s concept is based on scarcity you will always have too little If your family’s concept is based on abundance you will always have too much If your family’s concept is based on principles you will always feel obligated If your family’s concept is based on being carefree you will always feel neglected If your family’s concept is based on love you will always parallel it with hate If your family’s concept is based on insecurity you will always be afraid If your family’s concept is based on status you will always be pretentious for there is not one guiding post that can balance itself in any form without the other.

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Everyone grows up trying to make the other feel bad about himself/herself. It’s how we begin life. By being judgmental. But once we step out of that tradition we will see that it needn’t be so. But the hardest part is the stepping out.

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When your end draws near would you be able to say ‘it was one hell of a fight!’ or would you regretfully imagine what it would have been like.

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Who are we to forgive when we are no better or worse than anyone else.

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A self righteous person has a lot to say when he is doing good, but a wise and sincere person does good without having to say a single word.

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The saddest thing is when you don’t know how to do the smallest of things to harvest the greatest of results.

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Your greatness is judged only by others. If you were marooned on a deserted island, your greatness would make no difference to a monkey or a coconut tree because nature is unbiased to what or who you are.

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If you grow old prematurely: - you become cynical. You will think that things will never change for the better, people will always be their same sorry self, the world is a terrible place to be in and there is nothing you can do about it. - you hang on to the ‘used to be’ because you don’t progress and evolve with time. You will always focus on how things used to be much better when you were younger and you refuse to accept everything that is here today, and you want things to go back to what they were because they were good for you, or at least you think so. - you will feel as though you have lost a wonderful opportunity in the past without giving anything a chance now because you are too tired to start all over again. You would rather sit and brood about what you could have been. - you envy the younger generation because they have better and more convenient lifestyles that is problem free, and you fail to realize problems also come in different forms. In the first place, no one needs to grow old.

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We need routines and rituals, obligations and commitments, rules and regulations to run our lives. Without these programs we are handicapped. How are we ever going to evolve?

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In the end nothing really matters, whether one is consumed by cancer, gets jilted by a lover, won a lottery, made the headlines, won a battle or dies alone in a dingy little room. It all comes back to one single question, ‘were you happy with how you managed your life’

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Every once in a while it is always good to go back to the roots of humility.

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Your intentions are what makes a situation, an action or an idea positive or negative.

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When you are truly sincere you don’t need to justify yourself to anyone, at anytime, for anything.

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if your top priority is money, you will always be afraid, in debt and trying to make ends meet if your top priority is love, you will always be selfish, obsessed and hurt if your top priority is yourself, you will always be lonely, frustrated and disoriented if your top priority is beauty, you will always be superficial, artificial and inconsequential if your top priority is blind faith, you will always be distracted, guilty and judgmental if your top priority is leisure, you will always be dissatisfied, angry and empty if you don’t believe in having priorities you will always be lost, aimless and sorry if your allow priorities to change with time and open your eyes you will know what to do and if you know priority is not an obsession or an obligation you will live life they way you’ve always wanted it to be. And you will be happy with the people and things surrounding you because you know in the end life is about living and not just a set of priorities

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Getting married is such a fine and dandy idea. It’s like a fairy tale with a happy ending. One can be assured of a long term companionship, have a secured contract for everlasting love, be able to share each other’s burden, be able to create a lineage of generations be able keep the tradition going for the sake of all mankind, be ensured that there is regular copulation rituals as and when it is needed. It will also eradicate the empty place of your heart that is borne out of loneliness, and there is a great sense of adventure to embark on so that you can be at par with everyone else who is doing it so you won’t get left behind. There are a lot of compromises and sacrifices in a relationship, are you ready to get none of the above?

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Nothing is random. Everything we do is planned consciously or subconsciously.

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To understand what patience is pick up a pen and write, pick up a pencil and draw, and pick up a brush and paint. If the end result satisfies you then you’ll know how much of patience you have.

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The time has come for us to realize we can optimize our ability in shorter hours than spend an entire day wishing that we could.

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If you are sincere truth will reveal itself to you everywhere you go.

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There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who casts stones, those who turn away and those who get hit. Which one are you?

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Anyone who can take a vow of silence for just one day will achieve more than he ever could in a lifetime of loquacity.

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You will never know the whole truth because no one will ever tell you everything you want to know.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/246 End of Daze, Begin to Amaze Once the celebration is over there are usually tons of scrap and waste left behind for someone else to clean up after. This simple tradition has been going on for as long as mankind has been around. Everyone wants to party but no one wants to tidy up because we feel someone else should do the dirty job. But the truth of the matter is, there won’t always be someone around to do it. If everyone refuses to do their part and consider some things beneath them then where would the human species be? The idea of ‘every man for himself’ doesn’t apply anymore in this age and time. We know, from the past and through experiences, that whatever we do now will affect what is to come. Being unawakened is like being a spoilt brat or a conditioned zombie. You don’t know what is going on most of the time because you choose to be ignorant and you don’t care who cleans up your shit because you can afford to leave it all around. But time will catch up with you. And so will your conscience. Allowing yourself to continually be preoccupied with a set routine of distractions will only prolong and make matters worse for yourself. If there’s a restlessness in you that cannot be satiated or when your perfect world suddenly feels a little cramp, this is the sign that is prodding you to get ready for change. If you choose not to be ready you may be swept away and drown in the tidal wave of the awakening. The time has come for you to end of daze, begin to amaze. Each time you take from someone or something, there will be a time to give back or return in kind. And you know this, whenever you feel a sense of unfulfillment or dissatisfaction,

Julya Oui/Doing Time/247 it is not about accumulating more things to complicate your life with. It is the ironic condition of giving away or giving back that will clear your path to your destination. If you have taken with respect and kindness you will be given back the same. If you have taken with force and inconsideration, you will get what you deserve. You can sit in your glow of enlightenment but it will not light up even the darkest of night if no one is affected by it. If you arrived here by chance it is harder for you to see how the big picture was made. But going through the motion of trials and tribulations doesn’t have to make you a bitter and worn out person either. It is not always about you, you and you. When you take a step out and look beyond the valley of your home brewed misery you will see that there is a lot more to life than just your ego trying out assorted problems for size. Moving forward with a new and better understanding about the world around us will lead us to options with a grander dimension. There are some people who want this life to be as miserable as possible and there are those who just want to celebrate it to the fullest while they can. At a molecular level, everything vibrates. Nothing stays still or remain stagnant. What about your life? Without a prejudicial mind and a discriminatory heart your soul will embrace other people’s fire and nature’s abundance with love. While only a small crowd of people in this world want to take, plunder and steal every chance they get there is also other people who want to contribute back their compassion and passion to make this world a remarkable home.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/248 Succinctly 1. If you don’t give back voluntarily to complete the cycle after taking something you may have to pay back later in a more inconvenient manner. 2. A lot of people like to share their troubles but not their possessions. But the thing is, the more open you are to sharing the more stress free your life will be. 3. Joy is only infectious if you leave them behind wherever you go. 4. Set yourself free, in mind, body and spirit, from self destructive habits and antagonizing harm and everything else will fall into place. 5. How miserable is that when you like only a few things in life?

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Feeding your Ego will only get you constipated.

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10 most difficult things to do in life: 1. to forgive sincerely 2. to accept the truth humbly 3. to give generously 4. to love unconditionally 5. to believe in ourselves faithfully 6. to abstain willingly 7. to nurture confidence positively 8. to take control of situations calmly 9. to discipline ourselves consistently 10. to understand non judgmentally

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Some people behave as though they own the world. But how many are actually doing something about it to make it better place?

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No one is born bad. They just get sidetracked and distracted along the way and become everything they are not meant to be.

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You can ignore something and say ‘it doesn’t concern me’ but you must remember that everything in this world is connected by an unseen force that will affect you sooner or later.

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Many of us like to admire new inventions, creations, technologies, and ideologies. But how many of us would turn around and say, ‘I would like to contribute my skills, talents, strength, love or passion to make it better?

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Everything can be turned into something if you have the patience to endure it and the will to believe it.

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Guidance and compassion is more effective than accusation and punishment.

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When you truly want to help someone you have to allow him to turn out the way he wants to.

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It is not how long that you live that matters it is how richly that you did.

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The world may seem like a horrible place at times, but that’s what people say when they want to avoid contributing their love, time and energy.

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Both men and women have equal amount of deep seated emotions and personal demons. It’s the way they handle them that distinguishes masculinity and femininity.

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Everyone knows they will die someday. What made them great or mediocre, wealthy or poor, ecstatic or miserable will eventually end. And yet only a handful want to believe that they are mortal.

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What’s the difference between having an idea that will eliminate poverty, improve living conditions and preserve the environment and an idea that will make you abundantly rich beyond your imagination?

Julya Oui/Doing Time/263

Why do we allow sociopaths to ruin our country, run our lives, dictate our future, then complain about it and continue to let it happen?

Julya Oui/Doing Time/264

If everyone uses their thinking power to solve one problem at a time, imagine what the world would be like.

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There are people who go all out to make the world a better place and there are people who just want to make it bad in every way. If there is a Utopia who shall we bring?

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It’s what you wanted. You chose this life. No matter how difficult it must seem now you must try to remember why you chose this life. Before time, before you were even born, you already knew you chose this life because you wanted something out of it. All you have to do is to try and remember why you chose it and then go on with your life. You will achieve nothing and feel nothing if you choose to forget. Once you can overcome this fear, you will be able to understand the situation, unravel the complexities, endure unbearable pain, realize your dream and love beyond limitations and you will be among those who know.

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Once you see everyone as your equal you will never be too arrogant or too humble.

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Expectations make us who we’re not.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/269 The Birth of the 5E Principles While teaching numerous students from all kinds of backgrounds and various levels of abilities I realized there was some kind of a pattern or methodology that worked very well for everyone in general. After fiddling with words to describe my chance discovery I came up with the 5E Principles, which is not a hard and fast rule about everything but more of a guideline, that can be applied in almost anything and everything. When a fresh student steps into a classroom I remember I used a lot of scare tactics to put them in their place. I was told from the very beginning that this would help curb any deviants from getting to be too smart. After a long ritual of instilling fear on my students I began to step back a little and knew it was not something I personally liked doing. Time after time I gauged students who came in with different degrees of self confidence. Some, with as little as none, some with a bagful of them. And it is through a lot of trials and errors, and after about 15 years of teaching my students are the ones who enabled me to figure out more about life than I knew ever how. From the simple lesson of learning how to smile and relax to the complex didactics about life itself, they gave me the chance to gather my confidence and courage to set my own life straight. Every bit of their energy became my strength and ability to put these words together. These guidelines employ the same function in projects that ranges from art to self taught education, relationships to personal journeys and any other kinds of endeavors if you know how to apply it.

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The 5E Principles

The 1st E The 2nd E The 3rd E The 4th E The 5th E

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Express Explore Establish Execute Esthetic

Julya Oui/Doing Time/271 The 1st Principle - Express Get in touch with yourself by expressing through art, music, performance or any other ways to find out what is it that you want and who you really want to be. The 2nd Principle - Explore Experiment, examine and explore your way to new discoveries to widen your scope and perspective. You will never know what suits you or is compatible until you try it. The 3rd Principle - Establish Find a focus and learn by observing everything around. Determine your strength and weakness but know that they are interchangeable. They can be very powerful tools for construction or destruction. The 4th Principle - Execute Compose your life with a strategy, a plot, a goal, an aim, an objective or direction. Challenge the norm and question life. The 5th Principle - Esthetics Once you learn how to communicate all of the above it will be easier to generate new ideas and appreciate diversity. As this project or event draws to a close, restart from the very beginning.

Julya Oui/Doing Time/272 Suggested reading: 1. Future Shock (and the rest) 2. The Celestine Prophecy 3. The Alchemist (and many more) 4. The New Revelations 5. The Invitation 6. Dear Animals: We are sorry 7. The Lesson of the Moth Suggested viewing: 1. The Story of Stuff (http://www.storyofstuff.com) Anne Leonard 2. http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/ 3. Cinema Paradiso 4. Mr. Nobody 5. Collection of 6. The Girl who lives in the Dark 7. The Age of Stupid 9. Revolutionary Road 10. Pane e Tulipani 11. Casomai 12. Muriel’s Wedding 13. The Shawshank Redemption 14. Mr. Holland’s Opus 15. Das Wunder von Bern 16. Hotaru No Haka 17. Hachikô monogatari Nick Vujicic Giuseppe Tornatore Jaco Van Dormael David Attenborough Luke Campbell Franny Armstrong Sam Mendes Silvio Soldini Alessandro D’Alatri P.J. Hogan Frank Darabont Stephen Herek Sönke Wortmann Isao Takahata Seijirô Kôyama Alvin Toffler James Redfield Paulo Choelho Neale Donald Walsch Oriah Mountain Dreamer Shira Tamir Don Marquis

8. Earthlings (if you’ve got the guts) Shaun Monson

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