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No.

57 Script writing
for short films

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Unesco
This series of Reports and Papers on Mass Communication is issued by the Department of Mass
Communication. Unless otherwise stated,the reports may be reproduced in full or in part, provided
credit is given to Unesco. The following reports and papers have so far been issued and are ob-
tainable from National Distributors of Unesco Publications or from the Department of Mass C o m -
munication, Unesco, Place de Fontenoy, P a r i ~ - 7 ~ .

REPORTS AND PAPERS ON MASS COMMUNICATION


Number
11 Paper for Printing (other than Newsprint) and Writing -1929-1951 Trends. M a r c h 1954 (out of print).
-
12 Paper for Printing and Writing Tentative Forecasts of D e m a n d in 1955. 1960 and 1965. April 1954 (out of print).
13 Tentative International Bibliography 01 Works Dealing with Press Problems (1900-1952). September 1954 (out
of print).
14 -
Catalogues of Short Films and Filmstrips Selected List. February 1955 ($0.40; 2/- (Stg.); 1 F).
15 Catalogue of French Ethnographical Films. M a y 1955 ($0.40; 2/- (Stg.) ; 1 F).
16 Television and Tele-Clubs in Rural Communities . July 1955 ($0.40; 2/- (Stg.) ; 0,50F).
17 Infernational Rules for the CataloPuine
., 01 Educational, Scientific and Cultural Films and Filmstrips. Preliminary
edition, M a y 1956 (out of print).
18 A Manual for Evaluators of Films and Filmstrips. M a y 1956 ($0.40; 2/- (Stg.) ; 1 F).(out of print).
19 List ol Films Recommended for Children and Adolescents u5 to I6 Years Following Selection made in 22 Countries.
I

J u n e 1956 (out of print).


20 Catalogue of 50 Popular Science Films. July 1956 (out of print).
-
21 Current M a s s Communication Research I Bibliography of Books and Articles on M a s s Communication Published
since 1 January 1955. D e c e m b e r 1956 ($1 ; 5/-(Stg.) ; 2,50F).
22 Periodicals for N e w Literates :Editorial Methods. J u n e 1957 ($0.75; 3/6 (Stg.) ; 1,50F).
23 Culfural Radio Broadcasts. S o m e Experiences. D e c e m b e r 1956 ($0.40; 2/- (Stg.); 1 F).
24 Periodicals /or N e w Literates. Seven Case Histories. N o v e m b e r 1957 ($1 ; 5/- (Stg.) ; 3 F). (out of print).
25 Adult Education Groups and Audio-visual Techniques. 1958 ($0.75 ; 3/6 (Stg.); 2F).
26 T h e Kinescope and Adult Education. 1958 ($0.75; 3/6 (Stg.) ; 2 F). (out of print).
27 Visual Aids in Fundamental Education and Community Development. 1959 ($0.75;3/6 (Stg.); 2,50F).(out of print).
28 Film Programmes for the Young. 1959 (out of print).
29 Film-making on a L o w Budget. 1960 (out of print).
30 Developing Mass Media in Asip. 1960 ($1.50;7/6 (Stg.); 5,25F).
31 T h e Influence of the Cinema o n Children and Adolescents. A n Annotated International Bibliography. 1961
($1.50; 7/ 6 (Stg.) ; 5,25F).(out of print).
32 Film and Television in the Service of Opera and Ballet and o / M u s e u m s . 1961 (out of print).
33 M a s s Media in the Developing Countries. A Unesco Report to the United Nations. 1961 ($0.50; 2/6 (Stg.); 1,75F).
34 Film Production by lnternational Co-operation. 1961 ($0.50; 2/6 (Stg.) ; 1,75F).
35 World Film Directory. Agencies Concemedwitb Educational, Scientific and Cultural Films. 1962($1;5/-(Stg.);3,50 F).
36 Methods of Encouraging the Production and Distribution of Short Films for Theatrical Use. 1962. ($0.50; 2/6 (Stg.) ;
1,75F).
37 Developing Information Media in Africa. Press, Radio, Film, Television. 1962 ($1; 5/-(Stg.) ; 3,50 F).
38 Social Education through Television, 1963 ($0.50; 2/6 (stg.) ; 1,75).
39 T h e Teaching Film in Primary Education, 1963 ($1 ; 5/- (stg.); 3,50F).
40 Study of the Establishment of National Centres /or Cataloguing of Films and Television Programmes , 1963 ($0.50;
2/6 (see.): 1.75
-I I~ ~ .
, - F)iour of mint)
. ~ r , I , ,

41 Space CommunicatiGz and the M a s s Media, 1964 ($0.50;2/6 (scg.); 1,75F).


42 Screen education.Teaching a critical approach to cinema and television 1964 ($1.00: 5,’- (stg.) ; 3,50 F.
43 T h e Effects of Television on Children and Adolescents, 1964 ($0.75i 4/- (scg.); 3F).
44 Selected List of Catalogues for Short Films and Filmstrips. 1963 Edition. 1965 ($0.50;2/6 (stg.); 1,75F\
45 Professional Training for M a s s Communication. 1365 ($0.75;4/- (stg.); 3 F).
46-Rural Mimeo Newspapers. 1965 ($0.75;41- (stg.); 3 F).
47 Books for the Developing Countries: Asia, Ajrica. 1965 ($0.50;3/- (stg.); 2Fj.
48 Radio Broadcasting serves rural development. 1965 ($0.75; 4/- (stg.) ; 3 F).
49 Radio and television in the service of education and development in Asia. 1967 ($1.00 ; 5/- (stg.) ; 3,50F).
50 Television and the social education of women. 1967 $1.00 ; 5/- (stg.) ; 3,50F).
51 A n African experiment in radio forums for rural development. Ghana. 1964/1965. 1968 ($1.25; 7/-(stg.); 4F)
52 Book development in Asia. A report on the production and distribution of books in the region. 1967
($1.25; 6/-(stg. ; 4 F).
53. Communication satellites for education, science and culture. 1967 ($1.00;6/-(scg.); 3,50F)
54 8 m m film /or adult audiences. 1968 ($1.00;6/-(stg.); 3,50F)
55 Television for higher technical education of the employed. A first report on a pilot project in Poland. 1969.
$1.25;7/-[E0,35](stg.); 4F.
56 Book development in Africa. Problems and perspecfives. 1969. $1.00 ; 6/- 0,307 (stg.) ; 3,50F.

Printed in tbe Wonkshops of the


United Nations Educational. Scientific and CulfuralOrganization
Place de Fontenoy. Paris-7e

COWG9.XVII. 57 A
Printed in France
0 UNESCO 1969
Script writing
for short films
by J a m e s A. Beveridge

Unesco
PREFACE

A good script is as essential tothe production of a held at the Film Institute of India,Poona, inAugust
good short documentary or educational film as it 196 7. Unesco invited M r . James Beveridge, who
is to the production of a good feature-length fic- had served as visiting lecturer at this course, to
tional film. Writing for the screen is a special prepare the present paper. H e has had along and
kind of writing and as much a profession as is direct- distinguished career as a film producer, writer
ing or shooting or editing. A s part of its programme and director with the National Film Board of Canada,
to promote the development and improvement of the the Shell Film Unit in India,the North Carolina
mass media, Unesco encourages and assists mass Film Board in the U . S A . , and as professor of
communication institutes and centres to include cinema at the Institute of Film,N e w York Univer-
screen writing in their curricula and to organize sity. The views he expresses are, of course, his
courses in screen writing. One sxhcourse was own.

3
CONTENTS

1 . W h o is the audience? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
2 . What is the objective? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
3 . W h o is the sponsor of the film? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
4 . Relation with the sponsor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
5 . Researching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
6 . F o r m and presentation of the script . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
7 . Authority and responsibility of the scriptwriter . . . . . . . . . . . 11
8 . Script and budget . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
9 . Script and production crew . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
10 . Should the script direct the director?
(Guideline. blueprint. or strait-jacket? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
1 1 . Strengths and weaknesses of the story-form . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
12 . Dialogue writing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
13 . Commentary writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
14 . Rhythm and flow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
15 . Filmstyle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
-
16 . The audience showmanship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
17 . S o m e recommendations. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
18 . Analysing films that you like . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
19 . Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

Appendices:
I . Original script of Indian Government documentary film
"JAI J A W A N " . (Excerpt). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
I1 . Post-production script. same sequence of same film "JAI J A W A N "
after shooting and editing of the film;showing alterations to origi-
nal ideas as stated in the original script . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
I11 . Original script for an animated film for rural public audiences
in India. on the subject of national planning . ("THEDREAMS OF
M A U JIRAM" ). (Excerpt). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
IV . Post-production script of Canadian Government documentary
film "PHOEBE". (Excerpt). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
V . Post-production script of Canadian Government documentary
film produced for television. "POISONS P E S T S AND PEOPLE".
(Excerpt) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
VI . S o m e recommended films notable for effective commentary writing . . 40
VI1 . T w o story-board outlines (excerpts). Simple line-drawings in
cartoon style in place of written outlines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
WHO IS THE AUDIENCE? of people. Most audiences are composed of people
who come from the same environment,the same
F r o m an early stage, the writer should know about circumstances. What is that environment, what
his audience . If it is a public audience,he should are those circumstances? The scriptwriter, if
know the public. H e should mix with the public, he himself does not come from the same environ-
sit in the cinema, sit in the front rows,in the back ment, must take the trouble to learn about it,
rows, move about in the lobby during intermission, learn about its attitudes, sentiments, likes and
listen for the comments among the crowds as they dislikes. In a word, he should know to w h o m he
leave the cinema after the showing. is speaking.
H o w does the audience feel about the stories If one is asked to make a speech in public,one
they see on the screen? What do they like? What asks in turn, "to what group will Ibe speaking?who
do they laugh at? W h e n are they quiet and complete- are they?" This information will certainly govern
ly attentive, spellbound? W h e n are they restive, what is said in the speech, and the wayit is said.In
squirming, coughing, murmuring to one another, making a film, a similar question arises. W h o is
only partially attentive to the film? the film made for,where will it be shown? The writ-
Perhaps the audience is a school audience. er must have a very clear and particular understand-
What age level? H o w much film material do they ing of these points. ,

see in school? What kind of school? Does the tea-


cher introduce the film,ordinarily? D o all the
classes meet together to see films in a centralhall WHAT IS THE OBJECTIVE?
or meeting place or are the films shown in indivi-
dual classrooms to small groups or students? What is the film being made for? T o explainsome-
Perhaps the audience is a village audience thing, to persuade people, to provide some lively
and the film deals with a subject in the fieldof pub- entertainment,to show something of the life in oth-
lic health, or technical agriculture, or adult liter- er regions of the world? Will the film help to in-
acy. Will the audience be familiar with films gen- troduce a course of studies at a school? Will it
erally? Are they quite sophisticated about films? provide information to instruct people how to vote
Will it be a very large audience,m e n ,w o m e n and in local elections? Will it provide information
children together in a crowd, pressing round the about the theory of family planning, the reasons
screen at night-time, out of doors? O r will there for it, what families should do who are interested?
be small audiences in small groups, under the guid- Will it explain the nature of a disease suchasmala-
ance of a health officer,aveterinaryoragricultural ria or yaws, the nature of microbes and viruses,
officer, a nutritionist or doctor? the nature of pharmaceuticals and medicines used
Will the audience be interested in situations to prevent or cure disease?
outside their own experience? Will they accept new Most short films are made to communicate.
suggestions shown in a film,about health or feeding Some, of course, to entertain. But entertainment
or care of animals or cultivation of new crops, if is usually the business of long films, of feature
the examples they see areforeign to them? Have films . But again, that doesn Y mean that the short
they special attitudes about social change? Have film should not entertain. It certainly should,to
they special situations or problems about land own- the m a x i m u m possible degree, whether it is a film
ership, unemployment, rigid local customs, resis- about dancing or malaria or politics or family
tance to central authority? There are SO many planning. Whether it is a functional film,a teach-
considerations, so many clues to the thinking and ing film,a political propaganda film,aschoolfilm,
feeling of an "audience" . A n "audience" is a group -
an information film,it should be entertaining in

5
this sense,that it tells its story in an entertaining, purposes,w e are talking chiefly here in thismanual
a lively, interesting manner. If it doesn't do so, -
about objective communication the way to express
it will to some degree failin its purpose. No audi- or translate or convey to other people, objective
ence can really retain its interest in a subject if facts,external situations,new information,so that
the film which presents that subject is a dull film. the audience can absorb and understand the infor-
T o know the objectiveof the filmhowever means mation and incorporate it into their daily lives.
something more than knowing that the film must be Both kinds of film-making, subjective self-
entertaining.It means again,that the writer and film- expression and objective communication, require
maker must knowtheiraudience. They must beaware many skills and disciplines from the film-maker.
of the termsand conditionsof the life which the audi- But in our case,.wherew e are interested, espe-
ence lives. With this knowledge,the writer and film- cially in the writer (who m a y or m a y not be the
maker can more accuratelywork out a plan to present same person as the film director), w e are talking
the objective in an effective, realistic way. now about the skills of research, of exploration,
The objective of the film, and the nature of the of discovery and reporting and analysis,of note-
audience,are the two prime factms in approaching taking and digesting and crystallizing facts and
the scriptwriting job. Both of these requirements attitudeswithin an intelligible , interesting format.
mean research. Visits, explorations, talks,with In this process , the objective of the film must
the kind of people who compose the audience. Visits, be fully understood, and must govern the imagi-
explorations, talks,reading, among the people who native ideas and treatments which the writer then
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are experts in the specialsubject of the film wheth- suggests. Imagination, entertainment value,all
er it is a health subject,a political subject,a class- the skills that go intofilm-making,must be direc-
room subject, or a cultural subjectreflecting some ted toward achieving the particular and special ob-
part of the national tradition in art or music or dance jective of the film;the reason for making the film
or sculpture. in the first place.
If the film has an objective, and the film is
being made to overcome a specific ignorance or a WHO IS THE SPONSOR OF THE F I L M ?
specific prejudice on the part of the public (forin-
stance, resistance to the theory of familyplanning), -
W h o is paying for the film? the sponsor. W h o is
then the writer must become thoroughly acquainted the sponsor and why is he making the film? W e have
with the public attitudes about the subject. W h e n just talked about the objective of the film.What is
he knows them thoroughly, he can begin to prepare the objective of the sponsor? Is it the same objec-
a scriptwhich will put the information clearly and tive as implicit in the film? O r is the film a means
forcefully to the public,and will do so in an informed to an end, a device with a secondary objective,
way taking account of known attitudes and feelings something over and above the film itself?
in the public mind. A government agency maywant to make a film
The writer, thinking out his script and method about new methods of crop production or cultiva-
of treatment,has to live with the idea of the objec- tion. It has a variety of objectives in doing this.
tive in his mind. T o achieve this objective,in terms It needs to increasethe output of food. It needs to
of specificinformation which the filmwillconvey,or increase the prosperity of farmers. It needs to
in terms of specific attitudes and feelings which the create new industries within the area of agricul-
film will create,he must begin to understandhow the -
ture new chemicals, new tools and implements,
audience (whateverkind of audience)feels about the new products which have a part in the national
subject;how t-will feel about the subject, not plans and will themselves help to strengthen the
necessarily how he himself m a y feel about it. The national economy.
writer andthe film-maker are communicators. In A n oil company, or a soap company, or a tex-
this kind of film-making, functionalfilms or educa- tile company, m a y make films that have little to
tional or documentary films , the impulse is almost do with the sale of oil products or soap or cloth.
always to communicate information,to communicate The films made by these companies m a y be meant
a point of view. The writer therefore must be able to purely to entertain people, in villages or in movie
understand the significanceof the objective,in terms houses. The result is merely to put the name of
of the life and attitudesof the audience. That in turn the companybefore the public who go to see movies,
means that he must have the gift of understanding an- in villages or city cinemas. The name of the c o m -
other man's point of view,with full intelligence and pany will remain in the minds of the spectators who
sympathy, even though the other m a n m a y be a m a n see the movies, with a friendly and likable conno-
of another class or race or caste or language or tation, associated with entertainment and recrea-
occupation or region. tion and fun.W h e n professional wrestling (Western
Ofcourse, there are some films (a distinct mi- style) was fairly new in India, a large company
nority) which are purely films of self-expression, that manufactured rubber tyres , touredthe village
in which the writer or film-maker (usuallythe same markets with a lively film about wrestling. The only
person)is concerned wholly to communicate what he "Selling" in the film,was to make a fanciful con-
feels , what he believes. This too is communication, nexionbetween the strengthand toughness of tham-
but subjective,first-personcommunication.For our pionship wrestlers, with the strength and toughness

6
of heavy-duty tyres manufactured by the company. ground and has a good story to tell and a good way
But the chief aim of the film was to associate the of telling it.
name of the manufacturer with a lively, popular The writer must come to know his sponsorwell
piece of entertainment and thereby create a friend- and understand fully his point of view and require-
ly resp2jse to his-name in future. If government ments. H e m a y need to go considerablybeyond the
is the sponsor,the agency or spokesman for govern- "front office", the public-relations m a n or the ap-
ment m a y have no motive beyond the pure c o m m u - pointed spokesman w h o m the sponsorhas designated
nication of facts (as in a teaching film for schools, to discuss the film. The writer-may need to meet
or a filmabout public health). O n the other hand and talk with many others within the sponsorIs or-
govehment m a y want to make powerful propaganda ganization; engineers, analysts, field workers,
for a particular programme; anti-inflation,inocu- administrators, persons with long experience.
lation against communicable disease, literacy for The writer must become well-acquainted with the
all adult persons, and so on. This type of pro- subject through his research and fact-finding as
g r a m m e will require films of special pleading; he looks for a suitable treatment for his script;but
possibly dramatized, something with a feeling of he must also be well-acquainted with the sponsor,
urgency, something that challenges or impresses and be sure that he has a good understanding ofthe
the citizen with the importance of the subject, so sponsor Is needs, desires, and problems. If the
that he as an individual will remember the message sponsor has not suite succeeded in defining all
and do his part to bring about the success of the new these, in terms of the film or films he wants to
policy or programme. make, then it m a y be the rale of the film-writer
In most cases the sponsor has a particular ob- to help him do so, to their mutual interestand ad-
jective or problem, and wishes to make use of the vantage.
film medium because it is effective and visual and
explicit and can reach many thousands or evenmil- RELATION WITH THE S P O N S O R
lions of people. H e wants therefore to talkwiththe
film writer and film-maker, and find a format or A good understanding and relation withthe sponsor
a way of expressing his message, whichwillappeal is important for many reasons. Firstly, it is es-
to people and convince them of the importance of sential for the success of the proposedfilm.Second-
his message. And the message of course maybe in ly, it m a y make possible the making of additional
-
any one of a great number of areas health educa- films in other areas of the spdnsor 's interest.
tion, classroom schooling,farmer Is training,tech- In the 1940's and 5 0 k , many new subject areas
nical or industrial or other functional teaching came into prominence in terms of short-film mak-
material. The writer must learn about the sponsor'S ing. In Canada, two of these among many others
situation;his problems and difficulties, his rea- were child-care (care of infants and veryyoung chil-
sons for making a film, and the actual nature of dren) and education in mental health (recognitionof
the message he wants to communicate. c o m m o n forms of mental illness, the reasons for
Many sponsors are entirely clear about the such illness, and methods of treatment). In both
message they want to communicate, and even about of these fields, one or two initial filmswere made
the particular manner or format in which they want in an exploratory way, involving each time a new
to see the message stated. The film-maker must relationship between a particular sponsor and a
then decide in his own professional conscience, particular film producer. Because in both these
whether the sponsor has made a good decision, or situations, an excellent relationship was evolved
whether there are some aspects of his proposed between the sponsor and the film producer, not
treatment that will not prove to be effective. only an initial film but a second and third film and
Usually the film writer and the film-maker then an entire lengthy series of films resulted.
will have a considerable contribution to make to This arose due to the genuine collaboration,mutual
the thinking of the sponsor. Usually the subject understanding and respect,that prevailed between
proposed will requirethe writer to go out and visit the sponsors on one side (representingcertainhealth
some locations where he can have a first-hand services of government) and the film-producers on
-
view of the subject this m a y be an industry in the other.

-
another town,a hospital or clinic,an experimental
farm station, a school or university situation any
number of things. After he has made a v W t and
The film-maker or writer I must tryto absorb
as much of the sponsorIs situation as possible. H e
must try to see the significance of the sponsor Is
had extensive talks and obtained all the useful in- work, or his product, or his r61e insociety. H e
formation he can practically get or use,he retwns must try to understand the nature of the problems
to the sponsor and reviews all his findings and im- or objectives which the sponsor must deal with.
pressions. Thereafter, he can develop his own Similarly, the sponsor must try to make a genuine
thinking until he comes up with a way of presenting effort of understanding as far as the requirements
or telling the particular story. This proposed treat- of film work are concerned. H e must try to see
ment he discusses with the sponsor (as informally some films, and form some idea of the problems
as possible), as many times as necessary untilhe inherent in film expression and film communication.
(the writer) feels that he is at last on firmandsolid In many of the younger nations , where national

7
services are being established and where at the ing relationship between film-makers and sponsors.
s a m e time film or television media are being e m - But the initial effort of understanding and explora-
ployed for public information and education,there tion must be made from the film-maker's side;spe-
exist excellent opportunities for a fruitful collabo- cifically, from the writer's side. It is the insight
ration between specialists in the government ser- and understanding of the subject which the writer
vices, and film producers. If the film producers achieves, that will make the film possible and suc-
approach these opportunities in a superficialor an cessful.
opportunist way, little will result. If the specia-
lists in government service approach the film pro- RESEARCHING
ducers in an arrogant or autocratic or unthinking The film writer needs to be a jood journalist. H e
way, little will result. If however both parties can is not writing for publication, but his knowledge
make an honest effort of exploration, imagination of the subject is what informs the film director,
and collaboration,then very valuable things can re- the film producer, and finally the public who sees
sult in terms of documentary film and educational the film.
film and inspirationalfilm to help in the develop- The writer needs to be able to do agood job
ment of the country,in the "nation-building"process . of research. H e is a journalist, an observer,a
Of course the writer's relation withthe sponsor spy, an analyst, a note-taker , a viewer,a visu-
m a y , or should, continue all the way through the alizer, a summarizer. In the fashionablejargon
film-making process. Here the matter of person- of our times, he is a "reporter in depth" .But his
ality and personal relationships is very important. reports and research papers m a y be read by no-
It is of the greatest value for the writer or film- body. They are used instead to provide content,
maker, to develop and "cultivate" a genuine rela- insight, and accuracy to the filmtreatment which
tionship with his sponsor, if humanlypossible. If the writer must prepare.
the sponsor can become genuinely interested in the Let us say that the researcher acquired 100%
film-making process, as he sees the filmtake shape of available information on his film subject. Only
over a period of weeks, this interest m a y be fruit- 10% of the information can be used in the film,
ful in terms of further films to be made in future. whether in the script itself or the commentary
It m a y more immediately be of value in that the spoken over the film. Yet the scriptwriter needs
sponsor or his representative,if he has a good un- to be in command of the other 90% of information,
derstanding of the film process and has watched to back him up with the necessary endorsement,
the film take shape during production, can inter- confirmationand support which he requiresin order
pret and even defend the film (if necessary) to a to be able to state with confidence (and a clear con-
committee or larger group on the sponsor's side, science) that his information is complete and accu-
who m a y be relatively unfamiliar with the filmand -
rate the information on which the film is based.
not necessarily patient or understanding with film Stated in another way, the visible information
problems. -
in a film the information content expressed in
It can often happen, either with government or the story and stated in the dialogues and commen-
commercial sponsors, that a committee is appoin- tary - resembles that proportion of an iceberg
ted on the sponsor side to act as "watch-dog" on the which can be seenfloatingon the surfaceof the ocean.
progress of a film. As many film-makers know,a Only one-eighth,w e are told, of the icebergcanbe
committee is a dubious device to be involved with -
seen above the surface of the water seven-eighths
film-making. Decisions are laborious and m a y re- of its bulk is below the surface and cannot be seen.
present compromise in every case. A film made This gives us an analogy with the information con-
for a sponsor and scrutinized by a sponsorsI c o m - tent of our film. Only a small proportion of the
mittee, usually has a flattened-out aspect to it and facts are literally seen or heard in the film presen-
clearly represents compromises between opposing tation. But a much larger body of fact has been
viewpoints. Far better if the sponsor can be per- absorbed and studied by the researcher. This is
suaded to entrust the responsibility from the spon- necessary because the film (any film)is inthe first
sor Is side, to one designated spokesman or repre- place, a simplification of its subject. The film re-
sentative. Such a spokesman, assuming he is duces a large quantity of information to a short
intelligent and interested,can develop a good col- form, a brief statement. Yet the film within its
laboration with the film-maker to their mutual short length, must be accurate in proportion, in
advantage, and to the betterment of the film.More emphasis, in inference and in actual statement -
intimacy of understanding, more extensive know- in a word, true to its subject. This is a severe
ledge of the film-making process,wider understand- test of the integrity and talent of the writer: how
ing of the sponsor's business and viewpoint, will well will he succeed in simplifying the subject,
emerge from the one-to-one relationship between making it intelligible and bringing out its true sig-
sponsor's representative and film-maker, than it -
nificance without distorting or falsifying any as-
could between sponsor Is committee and film-maker. pect of it for the sake of dramatic effect or narrative
This relationship is one the film-maker must convenience.
try to seek. It isn't always possible. There are This selection process is perhaps the writer 's
inherent difficulties of communicationin the work- severest test. It is relatively easy to findways of

8
dramatizing a subject; of making it meaningful and informed person of mature judgement who m a y not
applicable to local audiences, in their ownlanguage be a specialist upon the particular subject of the
or community; of isolating the two or three funda- film,but has a broad perspective upon many other
mental points of importance and statingthem strongly matters. Newspaper editors often have such a view,
and well so that the audience will remember them the experience of considering and evaluating events
for a long time to come. But in the process, the of many different kinds, all in the same context,all
writer m a y not falsify, distort, misrepresent or in relation to each other. Such a broad view Or
give an incorrect or misleading emphasis, to any "perspective" m a y be very helpful to the film writ-
other element of his story. This is his basic task er, who m a y feel at certain moments absolutely
- to keep an accurate sense of proportion while sim- smothered and imprisoned by the narrow techni-
cal or specialized aspects of his film story.
plifying and interpreting his subject, in order to
present an intelligible and impressive statement At a later stage,the director when he begins
within a few minutes of screen time, to a public to shoot the film,will rely (inall likelihood)entirely
audience which m a y not have any prior knowledge upon the information and interpretationof the sub-
of the subject. ject given him by the film-writer. No other person
H o w does the writer acquire his knowledge of than the writer, will likely have the time, oppor-
the subject? B y means both conventional and (if tunity or responsibility,for probing deep into the
necessary) unconventional. The sponsor will pro- subject through research channels. The writer
vide him with ready-packaged information about his m a y perhaps never communicate the great bulkofhis
subject. But this is not sufficient. After the read- research material to another person; the director
ing material, the check on library sources (ency- and film producer will only receive the concen-
clopaedias, periodicals, journals of learned soci- trated, stripped-down conclusions and recommen-
eties, standard textbooks on the subject) there is dations of the writer, concerning a proposed meth-
the very important stage of direct first-person in- od of treatment for the film. In the writer Is mind
terviews with people lmowledgeable about the sub- and conscience, rests the whole dimension of the
ject through long-term contact or involvement. subject; and basically, the major responsibility
Supposing w e have a village film to write, that for the accuracy, correct emphasis and fundamen-
w e need to know about local village attitudes and tal truthfulness of the resulting film.
feelings on the matter of (say) a radical change in Research then, plays a very vital r61e in the
methods of cultivation, associated with the use of making of the film. It is not just bookish research
new imported seed replacing the traditionallocally- carried out in libraries and learned journals. It
obtained seed. m a y more likely be research in the field, inter-
What sources of information,what local or dis- views and direct questions to all kind of people in
trict authorities , what scientific opinion, what na- all kinds of situations related to the central subject
tional policy planners,what local farmers and mer- of the film.F r o m this broad spectrum of fact,opin-
chants should the film writer consult? Probably he ion,experience,involvement,analytical judgement,
should consult spokesmenin all the above categories. the writer crystallizes his own opinions and under-
H e should know what the record of the new re- standing of the subject. Ultimately he provides a
commended seed has been, in those areas where it script which is at the same time his own interpre-
has already been tried. W a s it successful? For how tation of the reality as he seeks to express it to a
long a period? Were there side-effects of any un- public audience. Only he, the writer, will have
expected or injurious results from use of the new been through this important process.
seed? Did the farmers actually produce larger
crops with it? Did they actually earn more money FOqM AND P R E S E N T A T I O N
through increased production? Did they continueto OF THE SCRIPT
sell to the same local wholesalers and merchants?
Did the change in cultivating methods, adapted by It is perfectly true that a filmcan be made without
the farmers once they undertook to use the new seed, a script, and that many famous films have been made
lead to any other changes, technical or social, in with little or no script ready at the beginning of pro-
their pattern of living? duction. This is admirable if the film-maker is
In other words, the researcher must be pre- able to provide his own money for the filmproject;
pared to ask many questions arising from the as- and if the film-maker is not concerned in particu-
signed subject of his film. It is not usefulto sing lar with the distribution arrangements for the film
the praises of a new seed or new methods, if they before he makes it; andif the film-maker is respon-
lead to some other difficulty such as depletion of sible to nobody but himself for the final length,style,
the soil, or vulnerability to new plant diseases,or content, mood and impact of the film.
abnormal demands upon local water supply. All In most cases however the film-maker is re-
these factors must be known to the writer, so that sponsible to somebody else beside himself, for the
his own work is based solidly on fact and reality, final film. And in most cases, somebodyother than
not merely on supposition or optimistic,unsubstan- the film-maker is putting up the money to make the
tiated hopes. film. For these reasons alone a scriptwill likely
Often it is worthwhile to seek out some well- be required.

9
But there are many more reasons to have a making the film,because it provides all the detail
script before beginning to make the film. Probably which must be known in order to total up the cumu-'
there are a number of people concerned with this lative cost of all the salaries, services,fees, m a -
new film,and before production work is begun, they terials, and other expenses which constitute the
will want to know answers to some of the following cost of the job.
questions : Clearlythenitwillbe necessaryand veryuseful
What will the film say, what is the content? for many reasons, to provide a script. Basically
Is it a story, or a documentary, or what kind of the reason is to give a c o m m o n understanding of
film is it? the film idea to all the interested parties,to make
Are there actors, or non-actors used for dramatic precise the ideas for the film and its content.With-
r6les? out this, endless hours of repetitive conversation
Is it shot with synchronous sound, or shot silent would be required to acquaint all the parties with a
with sound added later? c o m m o n understanding of the project.
H o w long will it take to film? H o w many shooting H o w should the script be prepared, what form
days? should it take?
What size of crew is indicated? T w o men? Five There are no hard-and-fast rules. There are
men? Twelve men? conventional methods and less conventionalmethods.
Is there interior shooting, or night-time shooting, The form of presentation m a y be an importantmat-
will it require a lot of lighting equipment? ter if the film is about an unfamiliar or a verytech-
Is the location of the film served by electricity? nicalsubject.The script itself is a kind of "production"
Will there be electricity supply for Lighting and m a y require just as much thought and concen-
and charging batteries, or will a generator or tration as the actualfilm-making.The whole objective
other auxiliary source of power be needed? is to communicate with the greatest possible clarity
Are there old-time historical sequences in the film? and simplicity, the idea of the film, by describing
Does it need costumes? Period furniture?W e a - its content and (as far as possible) its intended im-
pons? Horses? Wigs? pact upon the audience.
Is it a film for instruction and demonstration of The conventional method of script presentation
some process, as in technical agriculture? is to set it down on a foolscap-size (legal size)page
Does it contain animation sequences or dia- divided vertically in two halves; a descriptionof the
grams? Many drawings? Still-photographs? picture sequences is given (scene by scene or se-
Micro-photography? Slow-motion or time- quence by sequence) on the left side # and the accom-
lapse photography to show the growth of plants panying dialogues or narration relating to each
or other processes? scene, is put opposite the exact scene or sequence,
If the film has narration,will it have a professional on the right side of the page. It is therefore possi-
commentator? Is there muchnarration,or very ble to grasp the picture-sequence of the film and to
little? know exactly what will be said on the soundtrack
If the film has music, what kind, and how much, throughout the film,in relation to each scene. (See
and willit be original music recorded specially Appendix.)
for the film, or will it c o m e from a music E- This is a laborious but very clear method of
brary? conveying the full content, both picture and sound-
These are only a few of the questions that can track, of a proposed film. Anything less than this
arise. A complete film script will take account of is not truly a script but more properly an outline,
many such questions and either give the answers or or synopsis, or treatment, of the film. Usually
suggest clearly what approach and techniques will of course it is useful to provide such a short out-
be required to make the film. Normallythereare line or s u m m a r y of the film project, at the first
two versions of a script required for a new film. stages of discussion with sponsors or other inter-
First is the general description of thefilm giving ested parties.
clear indications of the content,style of treatmerit, The film idea however can be describedinoth-
actors and their r6les (if any), lines of dialogue er ways besides a written script. Perhaps the best
(if any), narration to be spoken by a commentator. of these is a storyboard, a type of picture-book
Second is a detailed breakdown oethe original script, or comic-strip layout which gives a clear visual
setting down each separate scene,specifyingwhich idea of each key scene in the proposed film, with
actors or persons appear in each scene,specifying accompanying description or dialogue beside each
what dialogues are spoken (if a dialogue film)or picture. (See Appendix.
what narration is spoken (if a documentary or in- A story-board or any other visual method of
structionalfilmwithoutdialogue). The second script s presenting the script has an important advantage
or "shooting-script" , is a working document which over the written script alone.With the story-board
enables the crew and business manager to estimate sponsors or other persons who m a y not be familiar
with close accuracy all technicalrequirements for with film-making can readily grasp the picture se-
equipment and crew, and the length of shooting-time quence and to some extent the effect of thepropqsed
which the film will take. This "shooting-script" treatment. It is not easy to do this whenone can on-
therefore is the true guide to the physical cost of ly read a lengthy description of how a scenewill look,

10
and what action will take place during the scene,and Another purpose of the written script, is to en-
what words or sounds will be heard during the scene, sure that all those persons who are involved in the
With a picture layout however one can grasp much film project, will have a c o m m o n understanding
more readily the flow of ideas from scene to scene; about the film before production is begun. The writ-
and also the relation of dialogues or narration, to ten script can be circulated among these persons.
each scene. They in turn can mark their comments or sugges-
T o make the story-board,one must have some tions on the actual scenes or sequences as they
facility for drawing, or else the services of an ar- appear in the script; or give their generalized opin-
tist. Of course the drawings are very free, rough ions on the strength of a careful reading. In this
and "cartoon-style" . There is no need for finished, way, assurance is obtained that the proposed film
precise drawings. Theymay be made inpencil,with is well understood by all those parties who are con-
a felt-pen or "flo-pen" , or in ink or crayon. They cerned with it. The possibilities of misunderstand-
should be made in the proportion of the standard film ing are minimized.
frame (ortelevision frame if the film is designed for In discussing a first draft of the script with
use on television). sponsors or advisers, the scriptwriter should of
Another and more elaborate possibility,is to course be present. O n the basis of his research
provide still photographs of the key scenes in the and knowledge of the subject, he should be able to
proposed film. While researching locations, for answer questions with assurance and satisfy the
example, the writer or film-maker mayhave taken sponsors or other parties that the film is soundly
a number of still photographs showing locations, based and the research and preparation has been
people, processes or implements or buildings or thorough. At this stage the scriptwriter mayknow
crops or any other detail which would appear inthe more about the subject than the film director or
film. These still pictures could be used as part of producer. H e therefore carries an importantre-
the story-board. Where stills were lacking, or in- sponsibility for the film,at this important period
adequate, drawings could be used instead. when basic decisions concerning the film will be
A still more elaborate method would be to make taken.
colour transparencies of all the key scenes (people,
locations, actions, properties) to be used in the pro- AUTHORITY AND RESPONSIBILITY
posed film. These could then be assembled in se- OF THE SCRIPTWRITER
quence order and shown in correct sequencewith a
verbal description, on the so-called "carrousel" F r o m the preceding paragraphs it is clear that the
slide-projector. The cost and elaboration of pre- writer must assume both authority and responsibil-
paring a full sequence-outline in colour-slides, ity with regard to the proposed new film. F r o m
would be a handicap for many film projects. The his careful and extensive research, he achieves an
carrousel however is a valuable auxiliary means of authority of understanding and up-to-date informa-
showing dramatically and effectively,the locations tion regarding the subject. F r o m his assignedtask
or people or buildings or implements or processes of putting the research material into a simplified,
one wishes to use in the final film. A carrousel clarified,lively, lucid, informative shape, he as-
slide-show , in conjunction with a detailed written sumes a responsibilityfor the accurate and balanced
script story-board using other picture material representation of the subject.
(either photographs or sketches), would provide a The director (assumingthat the director is an-
very comprehensive and effective means of convey- other person, not the writer himself) depends upon
ing the full intention of the script to sponsorsor oth- the writer for accurate information, and more than
er parties. that, for an arrangement of the facts that willboth
It should be emphasized that the film-script is interpret and simplify them.
not a literary document. It is a working document The producer who is responsible for the film
to make clear what will be the content of a series in terms of policy and money (to the sponsoring
of film scenes and sequences,The primary require- agency, which m a y be a ministry or departmentof
ment is clarity and intelligibility,not literary quality. government, or to an industrial concern), also de-
For this reason established authors and journa- pends upon the writer to give him assurance that
lists sometimes have difficulty in writing an adequate the proposals they willmake regarding the new film,
film script. For the film script is basically a are in fact well-grounded and fully-substantiatedby
visualization: this is its primary purpose,meaning the facts.
and value. A skilled writer will of course have an The writer should have sufficient imagination
easier time in making his meanings crystal-clear that he can provide two or three alternative ways
when describing the action of a film scene and the of approaching a film subject, even a difficult one.
effect of that action as seen by the spectator. But Perhaps the story could be dramatized;with actors
a person who is not highly educated m a y be perfect- and dialogue;perhaps it should be an actual case
ly well able to write an effective film script. The history, a story of actual people in a documented
requirement is for a clear description of the scenes situation which really happened; perhaps it should
and their significance. The quality of actual writing be a factual presentation making use of animated
is secondary. Clarity and intelligibility, not liter- film sequences to provide a clear explanation of
ary elegance, are the important points. technical material.

11
Perhaps the concepts and subject matter of the short film and particularly the documentary or es-
required film are difficult and diffuse. It m a y be sayfilm,as opposedto adramatic style of filmusing
necessary to make the film in animationthroughout, actors and dramatized situations, one- of the chief
rather than in live photography. A case in point; dangers is overwriting,anoveruse of words in narra-
in India,the government film agencywas asked to tion. Naturally, a professionalwriter is enthusiastic
prepare a popular treatment for a short documen- about words, they are his coinage, his currency,his
tary film about the work of the National Planning stock-in-trade. H e feels for words and probably
Commission. Planning is one of a number of hu- loves to use words, spoken and written. But in the
m a n activities, or bureaucratic activities,which is film form,words are an enemy rather than an ally.
difficult to describe or depict in a simple way. Too many words simply destroy the effectivenessof
With live photography and a conventional documen- the film. It is a truism, but a truism worth repeat-
tary approach, the subject seemed very difficult ing, to say that the film is something seen rather
and unappetizing. The scriptwriters finallyhit upon than something heard. The primary impact of the
the idea of utilizing a well-known traditionalcomic film is upon the eye, not the ear. What is heard on
character called Maujiram, and designing an ani- the sound-track, particularly in the case of narra-
mated film which would characterize Maujiram in tion spoken by an off-screen commentator, is only
cartoon form, and use him as a protagonist andcen- partly heard, only partly remembered. The ear is
tral character for the film.Through the experiences not focused as intently upon what is said,as the eye
of Maujiram, a Idnd of legendary folk-characteror is focused upon what is seen. The primaryimpact
"Everyman'',a number of concepts which are part of the film,any film,is upon the eye and upon the
of national economic planning were made explicit mind through the eye. The ear is only an auxiliary
and understandable in a simple, attractive, yet ac- a secondary channel. Therefore, there is no use
curate way. The problem was to reduce fairly in writing more than a minimum number of words
complex informationto a simple story outline with for the ear. The script should not depend in any
elements of humour and imagination, yet keeping primary way, upon what is said in commentary upon
an accurate emphasis and not degenerating into dis- the sound-track. The script should make every
torted or superficial interpretations. (SeeAppen- possible effort, on the other hand, TO ensure that
dix for narration outline of this film.) every major point offactwhich the filmneedsto con-
The film-maker, being an imaginative person vey, will be conveyed effectively to and through the
m a y tend to grasp at dramatic possibilities rather eye of the audience. It is the eye that will under-
than be concerned with overall balance and proper stand and remember the principal points of the film,
proportion in shaping his information for the screen. not the ear. The scriptwriter therefore must as his
The writer has the responsibility of insisting that primary duty to the film,ensure that every possible
proper proportion is retained in the script,with re- means is used to translate the factual content of the
gard to the presentation of factual material. There film into visual forms, visual examples, visual ac-
must be a way to show material or factsthat are not tions. What is said, can only support and strengthen
essentially dramatic, and yet are important to a the visual message. There can be no dependence on
proper understanding of the subject.The film-maker the sound-track,particularly upon the narrator, to
m a y be impatient with this requirement;the writer, convey essential information. Moreover, if there is
as a matter of conscience and judgement,must see an overload of spoken information,the ear and the
to it that the script gives proper weight and empha- mind of the audience will both rebel,and shut out the
sis to all essential aspects of the subject, whether offending and unending flow of words; and with that,
or not all of those aspects are essentiallydramatic will shut out part of their receptive and responsive
inthemselves. Once the script is defined and agreed feeling about the entire film,and simply wait it
to, the director has the responsibilityto interpret out with passive or resentful disregard.
it and to realize it in film form. But the writerin
the first instance, has the responsibilitytosee that SCRIPT AND BUDGET
all essential aspects of the subject are embodied
within the script, and that the overallemphasis and A s stated in an earlier chapter ("Form and Presen-
message of the film (by whatever type of treatment tation of the Script") the scriptis a basis for estimat-
it is done), is conveyed accurately and fairly. ing the cost of the proposed film.Properlyspeaking,
Of course the scriptwriter should be thinking the "shooting-script" which is a second-stagedevel-
always in terms of the film medium. H e is not an opment from the complete original script, provides
essayist, not a journalist, not a pamphleteer, not this basis. The shooting-script can be analysed by
a textbook writer. H e is a visualizer awriter for the director or business manager, to indicate with
film. His "writing" is not essentia1ly"writing"but considerable accuracy the following details :
more accurately "picturizing" ideas,concepts and (i) number of locations where the film will be
facts. H e m a y convert his writing assignmentinto shot;
a programme of drawing pictures or taldng still- (ii) number of shooting days;
photographs of his subject matter. (iii) how many exterior, how many interior lo-
O n the matter of words, and the liabilities and cations;
tyrannies of using words to express ideas: in the (iv) how much lighting required and for how long;

12
(v) type of equipmentrequiredfor the shooting - Similarly, the writer should have an accurate
-
length of shooting period rental costs based on sense of length. O n the average, how many scenes
length of shooting period; are there in a documentary (essay-style)film, per
-
(vi) dialogue how much, how many scenes, single reel of 10 minutes? Perhaps 200 separate
how many days of shooting (i .e. how long is the scenes, in a rapidly-cut style of film. Perhaps
period of shooting synchronous-sound); only 50 or so, if the film is shot withsynchronous-
(vii) number of crew that will be required to sound dialogues. The number of scenes is itself
deal with the particular kind of shooting; a factor in determining the cost of a film. H o w
(viii) amount of travel involved to locationsor much dialogue can be contained in a short film of
within the principal location area; 15 or 20 or 25 minutes? H o w manydialogue scenes
(ix) scale of living expenses required on the can be shot in a studio during one full day? Willthe
various locations; dialogue be written or improvised? Will it be shot
(x) special sound effects indicated in script in the studio (undercontrolled conditions)or out-of-
(to be recorded or purchased from sound effects doors in natural settings (with the risk of uncon-
library); trolled noise and interruptions and consequent de-
(xi) special music scoring indicatedin script lays in shooting)?
(to be composed and recorded as original music or Let us suppose a film on an agricultural sub-
purchased from music library). ject. Cultivation of certain crops is shown. Cer-
These are some of the items denotedbyashoot- tain new methods of cultivation, or certain new
ing script,that will enable the unit manager or busi- types of seed, are recommended in the film.The
ness manager to calculate closely, the estimated land is prepared. The seed is sown. The land is
cost of making the complete film. irrigated. The seedlings are transplanted. More
The writer.must of course have some knowledge irrigation. The new crop grows and ripens. The
of film-making and of film costs, before he can ex- soil is weeded. Chemical dustingwith insecticides
pect to write realistically for the film-maker.If he is done. More irrigation. The crop is harvested,
writes (for instance) the following scene: and compared with conventional plantings . The re-
Scene 100: Close-up of the two lovers embracing. sulting increase in heavier yield with consequent
Theyhear anoise. Theylookup. Camerazooms higher earnings to the cultivator, is apparent.
slowly back. They are surrounded by a ring of -
Where will this material be filmed on anag-
soldiers, about 20 men. Camera tilts up from ricultural research station, or in the actual far-
the longshot of this group surroundingthe lovers . mers I fields? In either case, the film requires
Tilt movement rises up the cliff-facebehind the repeated visits by the camera unit,throughout one
lovers, about 50 feet. At the top, silhouetted entire crop season. What are the costs of travel
against torchlight, are more soldiers and 2 or for the crew, from their base to thefarmlocation,
3 mounted horsemen. for each trip? Where will they stay duringthe lo-
S o m e of the requirements for shooting this scene cation work? What are the costs of accommodation?
will be : These factors are not the direct concern ofthe
Studio space (rented space) or outdoor location writer, but he must have a general sense of the re-
(travel costs for crew). lationship between film ideas and film costs. What-
Set design (if in studio). Carpentry, painting. ever the idea, it must ultimatelybe filmed:and that
Interior lighting in studio. means a cameraman, crew,equipment,travel,film
If on location, freight costs for conveying stock, laboratory work, weather factors,and many
lights, generator rental, additional lighting more. Writing for film is not by any means like
units and accessory equipment. Larger crew writing fiction.
to deal with location problems, much less con- What this means is that the film writer should
trolled than in the studio, have, or should acquire, a good working knowledge
Costumes, armour, weapons, horses, torches. of film-making. H e should visit film locations and
In the mind of the writer, as he writes the par- see how work is organized, what problems arise on
ticular scene,there should be (at least subconscious- the actual location. H e should visit the studio and
ly) a thought for the cost of studio rentals, set watch the progress of shooting there, the size of
designers, property departments,generator rentals, crews, the organization of the work, the way actors
travel expenses, meals for the large cast and extras are used. H e should above all, assist with the edit-
on location, high overtime costs if complicated @ of a film;see what happens to the rushes as they
scenes run overtime in shooting. come in from shooting, how the film takes shape
In other words, the writer must shapehis film during the editing process, how it changes shape
treatment with a knowledge of what the treatment and emphasis as new ideas arise during this pro-
means in terms of filmcosts. Otherwise,his free cess, and the original script ideas are modified
play of imagination will be of no value to the film or set aside. The closer the writer can come to
producers. If he writes extravagantly, the costs actual film-making, the better for him. What it
of filming will mount extravagantly, or the writer Is means is this, that an experienced film-writer -
script will be rejected;this itself will add to the one who knows from direct experience how films
cost of the project if another writer is brought in are made, who has taken part in the process -
to do a more realistic job. such a writer can save time both in the writing of

13
the script and in the filming of the script. H e can the required material on one suitable, acces-
prepare an initial treatment or draft script, in a sible, close-at-hand location.
relatively short time, because he has a good idea In general a smaller crew is more economical
of what will work and what is impractical. H e will than a larger one. A small crew can afford to take
have an idea of how to translate his livelybut work- a longer time in shooting. A large crew shooting
able film ideas. synchronous-sound material on location, involves
There is a tendency in recent years for the heavy travel and living expenses. Daily cost of
"film-maker"to be his own writer, director, c a m - maintaining the crew of (say) 12 persons, on an
eraman, editor and producer. This is admirable out-of-stationlocation, will be heavy. Onthe con-
in one way, it means that the creativeindividual is trary, a crew of two m e n can afford to take many
able to exercise controland take full responsibility days in search of the precise event or action or
for his project. However it does =follow that each example which their film requires.
individualwill have a definite talent in allof these The writer is aware of these factors and can
different departments of film-making. It is true develop his ideas accordingly. But there is more
that many documentary film directors are also than cost involved in the writer Is knowledgeof film
their own writers;they can do their own research, crews and their work.
writing and then direction. This is excellent,but Knowledge of the craft and working method of
it does not mean that every film director is capa- each m e m b e r of a film crew is important to the
ble of working in such a fashion. There is always writer. N e will work closely with the director as
a distinct and specific rale for the film writer, a a matter of course. The director will formulate
person who understands and loves film, but has al- his shooting of the film as a result of detaileddis-
so a capacity for fact-findingand research, and a cussions with the writer.Considerthe cameraman,
capacity for analysing, digesting, and then visual- however. The writer should know something(more
izing what he learns from his research. This is than a little) about the capacitiesof the film camera.
a specialized field;there are not many film writers, H e should know something about lenses. H e should
particularly in the documentary or short-filmfield, see plenty of films, should form s o m e ideas and
and they are much sought after once they have shown judgements about the resources of the camera,
their competence. about the particular effect (psychological and aes-
The film writer must "write" with aclose and thetic) of using certain lenses.
realistic understanding of the film-making process H o w much use should be made of the Z o o m lens?
Preferably, he should enter into that process and W h e n is it reallyappropriate and correcttouse the
learn some aspects of it at first hand. Only this zoom, and when is it unnecessary and in fact a dis-
way can he become aware of the peculiar realities advantage to the film? What are theparticular va-
and procedures of film-making. Only in this way lues of a 9mm lens , of a "fish-eye" lens? Do certain
can he write with a realistic sense of film costs, lenses automatically convey a definite feeling of
and the nature of a film budget. psychological mood, of distortion or nervousness
or hallucination? If the writer knows something
about these factors, he can write his script to
SCRIPT AND PRODUCTION CREW take account of specific possibilities, things that
he knows can be achieved technically.
The size and composition of a film crew is an ele- Similarly, the writer should have a well-
ment of major importance interms ofthe film bud- developed sense of what the film sound-track can
get. The writer mwt of course be aware of this do, The resources of a good tape-recorder are
factor. The writers 'approach and treatment of the remarkable. Natural sounds of many kinds can be
"story" (or other subject-matter if it is not a dra- recorded in the field and used to enrich the sim-
matic story) will indicate the size and nature of plest film. The sound of bees in an orchard, of
production crew to be used. This in turn, will dic- mosquitos in a quiet room, of farm life, of large
tate the order of cost for the film. business offices, of street bazaars,of the mosque
Ifthe writer is instructed at the outset that there or temple, can be recorded "wild-track" indepen-
will only be a small budget available for the film, dently of filming, and later be added to the sound-
he will at once conclude that one or two kinds of track of the film. People on locations can be
treatment will not be feasible I for example: interviewed by the writer, using the tape recorder;
(1) synchronous sound and dialogues will be too where it is inappropriate or inconvenient to make
costly,usingmore equipment,actors and studio- notes and conduct a formal interview on conven-
type facilities; tional lines, it m a y be much more valuable to re-
(2) complex animation (single-frame'animation) cord the natural speech with its own idiom and
will likely be too costly, in a film which m a y phraseology, of local people expert advisers
require some detailed explanation of complex o r practising farmers young children.The tape
processes, whether industrial,chemical,phys- recorder is a versatile and valuable tool, for re-
iological, agricultural, or whatever; search, for obtaining sound effects,bits of authen-
(3) travel to a number of locations will be too cost- tic music from actual locations, the correct and
ly and it will be better (if possible)to film all actual sounds of particular machines or animals

14
or vehicles or ceremonies. T o undertake this,the O n some occasions, if the sponsoring agency
writer should talk with sound-recordists, with the for the film is very rigid and is composed of a
technicians who record sound during filming onlo- committee rather than one or two informed and
cation, and also with the recording engineers who flexible individuals , the final script approved and
record the final mixed sound-track of the film back ratified by the sponsor m a y become something of
at the recording studio. F r o m these persons and a strait-jacket. The agreement for the film will
with some knowledge of their equipment and its take on a legalistic rather than a co-operativetone.
potentialities, the writer in his capacity as field Each scene is prescribed, each word of narration
researcher, can sharpen not only his eyesight and minutely examined and approved before the final
observation, but his hearing as well. With an ear rerecording.
alert for the natural sounds that are characteristic In such a case, the film inevitably has a life-
of the subject which he is researching (a village less look. It will most likely lack a feeling of flow,
market; a hospital clinic;>an elementary school;a of rhythm, of natural life. It will be so concerned
farmer Is household), he m a y not only note,but re- to make a prescribed number of information points ,
cord on tape for his own advantage as well as for that the result will seem mechanical, joyless or
the film itself, the sounds that are characteristic, artificial.
genuine, and evocative of the places and people he Both the sponsors and the film-makers would
is investigating and studying. prefer to avoid such a situation.T o achieve a good
-
And again the editor. The fluidprocess by relationship of understanding and flexibility,calls
which film continuity is achieved, by which a film for special effort on both sides.
is paced either fast or slow, leisurely or nervous- Normally, the script should provide the film
-
ly, methodically or impressionistically this can director with a clearly defined blueprint and with
be learned, or' at least perceived,by the writer if all his necessary information and reference mate-
he will take the time and trouble to seekoutthefilm rial, based on the thorough research of the script-
editor. Better yet if the writer, at some stage,will writer. The script should not imprison the film
take time in the cutting room and learn for himself director. It is the director finally,whotranslates
the basic skills and procedures of film editing. Let the written or story-boarded scriptinto actualfilm
him learn how two scenes cut together, how pacing footage. It is the cameraman finallywho ''sees''
and rhythm can be put into a sequence of scenes,how the precise image through his viewfinder,and by
the performance of actors looks when shot with a a combination of particular lighting, focus, c o m -
close-up lens as opposed to a long-focuslens. It is position and movement, translates it into actual
not that the writer should be a technicianof the cam- footage. It is the editor, shaping and giving pace
era or the editing machine, but let him be aware at to the completed film material, who gives it its
least of the potentialities, the possibilities which final flow, sense of line and narrative, sense of
camera, sound recorder, and editing roombringto pacing and rhythm. But all of these technicians
the maldng of a film. If he can have a general sense begin with the information and perspectives given
of these possibilities in his mind, his writing will by the scriptwriter. It was the scriptwriter who
naturally take account of them. Again, the writer first researched the story of the film, examined
is not writing, he is visualizing or picturizing his the locations and persons and situations w h o m the
script. In doing this, he has many usefuland fas- film is meant to depict. It is the scriptwriter's
cinating things to learn from talks and observations interpretation of all these factors which guides the
with the cameraman, the sound recordist,the film director. Theninturn,the director guides the camera-
editor. His relation to members of the production m a n . Thenin turn,the editor guides and shapesthe re-
crew should be a friendly and an extensive one. sultingfilmmaterial.Each person makes a distinct
contributionto the film .Butall of these contributions
begin with the concept and perspective which the
S H O U L D THE SCRIPT DIRECT scriptwriterhas given in his treatment of the subject.
THE D I R E C T O R ? (GUIDELINE, There are many arguments about the ultimate
BLUEPRINT,OR STRAIT-J A C K E T ? ) "authorship" of films, both documentaries and fea-
ture films. The producer has a great influence on
Film-making is a process of collaboration or co- the course of the film. The director imposes his
operation. Only in a few cases is the individual personal vision or realization on the handling ofthe
"film-maker" at one and the same time his own subject. The cameraman gives it a special visual
writer, cameraman, director, editor and producer. style and mood. The editor gives it a specialtempo,
There are such talented individuals but their work a feeling of continuity and unfolding. No one person
is mostly very personal and subjective. For the can claim the entire credit or responsibilityforthe
most part, a finished film is the result of a c o m - film as a whole. The contributions m a y varyinim-
bination of talents, of shared enthusiasms,of dis- portance or influence depending on the nature of
putes, compromises, new solutionsand inspirations. the individual technicians and the nature of their
At the base however there is, or should be, the working relationship.
-
script the foundation, blueprint, guideline for the At the base however is the writer. The film
film project. is based on his initial study, his findings, his

15
interpretation. It is he who (in most cases) sets therefore calls for considerable skill on the part
the practical limits and perspectives for the film of the writer. The decision to make a film in
treatment. There m a y be variations in the treat- story-form, means several things. It means using
ment arising from the individualfeelings and style actors or untrained persons who will perform in
of the director, cameraman, editor. But the initial the film like actors. It means (likely)the writing
shape and import of the film derives from the wri- and speaking of dialogues . It means a higher cost
ter 's first interpretation of the subject. than would apply if no actors or dialogues were
The script then, should give firm guidelines used. And it means that the film,if well-made,
to the director. It should be a blueprint for the has a better chance for enthusiastic acceptanceby
actual working programme of production. It should the audience, than if a non-story form were used.
embody the necessary factual information and con- The obvious reason for this claim, is that peo-
tent which the film will give. But it should not be, ple like to hear a story and they like to identify
and in most cases cannot be, an inflexible strait- with the hero or heroine of a story, to imagine
jacket. There are other contributions to be made ,~ themselves in the same situations as the hero-or
other ideas and insights to be gathered,from other heroine of the film. Emotional factors enter into
members of the film production group. But the wri- this feeling. A factual film which presents state-
ter's contribution m a y be seen as the firm founda- ments and arguments in terms of an essay,is not
tion upon which the film is built. likely to appeal to audiences in an emotional way.
With an essay style of presentation, the audience
is presented with facts and is asked to make judge-
S T R E N G T H S AND W E A K N E S S E S ments and decisions about the facts. But in a story
OF THE S T O R Y FILM film,the audience is carried along with the story
and with the fortunes of its principal characters.
In a documentary film,or an instructional film,or If there is a lesson to be learned or a moralto be
a "motivational" film designed to motivate or per- drawn, or information points to be made, these can
suade people to a particular course of action, the be incorporated into the actual story, into the ex-
question of "story" usually arises. Should the film periences of the characters portrayed in the story.
be put in terms of a story, a dramatizedtreatment The audience can therefore apprehend the informa-
with a central character,speaking on-camera with tion or the lesson or the moral, by example so to
synchronous sound dialogues? Or should the mate- say, rather than by an intellectual process of re-
rial be put in terms of a straightforward essay, an ceiving and digesting factual information in a film
arrangement of factual material simply and clearly form.
shown, and voiced "off-camera" by an unseen c o m - Of course there are many types of film that
mentator? simply do not lend themselves to a story treatment.
There are many ramifications in the use of a Films of purely instructional or technical nature,
"story" treatment, using actors and dialogues. where the audience has come together in thefirst
There are important advantages on the one hand, instance in order to learn specific information
and some limitations on the other. -
about the subject these have no need of a story
First of all comes the essential problem of and nothing to gain from a story treatment. O n
making the film interesting and absorbing for the the other hand, "motivational" films,designed to
audience. What kind of treatment willbest ensure persuade or impel people to some particular course
this result? It depends partly on the subject mat- of action or s o m e new social programme,m a y well
ter, partly on the available budget, partly on the make use of the story form.
skills of the writer. A film that seeks to change established social
The primary method for attracting and holding attitudes, for example, m a y do well to dramatize
the interest of audiences is probably that of identi- its story and put it in terms of recognizable char-
fication. That is, the use of actors in astory, of acters, familiar types w h o m the audience can glee-
"characters" with w h o m the audience can feel a fully identify as local figures.
definite sympathy and identification. A hero, a There are problems here for the writer and
"good guy" , a typical fellow, an average citizen, director,however. The storiesmust be convincing
an average farmer, an average schoolchild, a In a feature film,which has no purpose other than
"bright young fellow" , an "ambitious young cultiva- sheer entertainment value, the credibility of the
tor" , a "devoted wife and mother''. These are all story and actors is not too important a considera-
familiar characters, in fiction and in educational tion. But in a documentary film,which purports
pamphlets and also in films. Treated with skill, to tell about real-life problems and real-life peo-
such characters can emerge strongly and clearly ple and consequently must be able to stand up to
in a film story and can enlist the sympathy and scrutiny in this sense, the credibility of the story
fellow-feelingof people in an audience.Treated in a and the people must be wholly convincing.
clumsyor dull fashion,such characters can become The problem is largely one for the director.
stereotypes, artificial and two-dimensional,lack- It is easy enough for the writer to set down story
ing real humanity and real flesh-and-bloodconvic- situations and charactersin a real-lifesetting. But
tion. T o use such characters in a short film it is easier to do this on paper than on film. The

16
director has a real challenge before him. If he is a story film will not be able to contain as much
working with actors, they must appear convincing factual information as can be put into a straight-
and genuine, like "real people''. Directing actors forward documentary 'lessay" film;
to perform and behave like peasant farmers, for a story film however m a y be able to makea more
example, is no easymatter. H o w well can the ac- effective presentation of its essential informa-
tor handle animals ,handle a plough,handle imple- tion points;
ments? Does he look like a peasant in the first place? a story film will have a better chance of providing
What will peasant audiencesthink of his performance? entertainment values for the audience;
They will gladly accept known film-actors in an en- there are however several kinds of film in which
tertainment film,pretending to be peasants like stories, dramatized stories using actors, are
themselves. But it does not follow that they will not appropriate;
accept the performance of an actor in a documen- in such cases, the writer has to use every effort
tary film,pretending to be a peasant like themselves. of imagination to find a way of presenting his
The scrutiny will be much sharper on the part of the material in an interesting and absorbing and
audience. The audience will look for errors of per- entertaining fashion to the audience;
formance that would not trouble them at all in an increasingly nowadays, didactic information is re-
entertainment film. But if the documentary film sisted by the audience (whether in theatres or
pretends to show the peasant farmers in a village non-theatrical showings;whether in cities or
audience, somethingpertainingto their own daily life rural areas or schools); therefore the problem
and regular custom, they will watch very narrowly for the writer is to find new ways and means of
and will immediatelysee the false note in the actor's presenting his material to the audience;not sim-
performance. ply telling them his message, but finding ways
The great challenge of a story treatment in a and means of relating the message to the daily
documentary film, is to combine authenticity with life and needs and interests of the audience.
entertainment value. The writer wants to make Of course there is no absolute hard-and-fast
his audience interested, involved with the charac- division between a story-film with actors and a
ters in the film. non-story film. A documentary m a y utilize actors
At the same time he wants to convey informa- or "characters" without spoken dialogue, substi-
tion or points of view, that have to do withthe real tuting for the dialogue well-written, imaginative
life of the audience. Therefore his treatmentmust narration. A film m a y be based on anactualstory,
be accurate, must have the genuine feelof locallife a case-history,and retell the story using the actual
and everyday custom and circumstance. If actors persons who took part in it; without however seek-
are used, they must lose their "theatricality" and ing to re-enact it as a full-scale drama.
not seem to be actors. If non-actors are used in Film is infinitely flexible. The writer investi-
the story film,they must be directed so as to per- gates his subject, visits his locations , talks with
form in a natural, easy, relaxed believable manner; knowledgeable people. W h e n it comes time to put
and this is very difficult for non-actors to do. down his information in script form, he has many
Nowadays in many parts of the world, people choices,there are many approaches he can follow.
- -
in general the public are less andless inclined But these must be guided by the requirements of
to listento messages that tell them what they should
~
the film director: is the proposed script economi-
do, what they should know, how they should act. cal to shoot? Is it interestingto audiences? Is it
Young people in particular, East and West. in believable to audiences? Is it technically worka-
developing countries and affluent countries , are >b and controllable for the director and crew?
less and less disposed to accept without reserva- Often, a story-line and dramatization of the
tion the dogma and dicta of their elders. This is subject, will seem the most attractive way. But
one of the factors which favours the use of a be- there is no hard-and-fast rule. Feasibility, be-
lievable story-film,rather than a dogmatic mes- lievability, controlability;these are the values
sage-film which presents information and then which the writer must seek in his treatment of the
states editorially, what conclusion the audience subject.
should draw. The whole tradition of didactic teach-
ing is weakening, in many countries .All the more
reason why films (withother media)need to find new DIALOGUE WRITING
ways,new devices,new styles,new andinteresting
approaches, to tell their story. The challenge is to Dialogue writing is almost inevitably influenced by
the filmdirector and especiallyto the scriptwriter. writing for the theatre. Yet the situation of actors
T o review: and audience in the theatre, is vastly differentfrom
a story film with dialogues, will cost more than a that in film-making. The film actor does not need
straightforward factual presentation; to project himself on film as he does on stage. The
a story film will pose severe problems to the di- convention of the stage, ofthe proscenium, accepted
rector in his handling of actors (to make them by the audience in a theatre, does not apply within
believable) and non-actors (to make them act in a film. Dialogue between players in a film is
a relaxed and acceptable style); far more intimate, far more casual, far more

17
conversational, far less "structured" , than dia- for documentary or motivational films. There are
logue in a play. two conflicting elements in the very nature of such
The scriptwriter must have a sensitive ear. dialogue. They are these:
H e must be aware of the idioms and rhythms of (1) dialogue must be true to the characterizations
speech, spoken by people in all walks of life. H o w of the actors in the film;
does a taxi driver speak? H o w do the market (2) dialogue must convey essential information or
w o m e n speak? H o w does the minor government attitudes, which the film seeks to present to
bureaucrat speak,to his inferiors, to his superiors? the audience.
H o w does the rich merchant of the village speak? Reconciling these two requirements is some-
H o w do wealthy ladies of the upper middle-class times a very difficult or nearly impossible taskfor
speak? H o w does a drunk m a n speak? the scriptwriter. The short length of a documen-
The worst situation in film writing is dialogue tary film, provides little scope to developcharac-
which is used simply as a vehicle to convey infor- terizationamongthe actors. Every line of dialogue,
mation, without reference to real character or per- every action must be relevant to the characteriza-
sonality of the speaker. Many documentary films tion, if the actors are to be believable.Atthe same
have committed this particular sin. Lines of dia- time, what the actors say and do must convey
logue are spoken which have no relation to reality. (somehow) the essential attitudes, situations or
The most unlettered audience will not fail to recog- examples which provide the central information of
nize this kind of dialogue. The instant that it does the film, the reason for the film being made. For
so, all belief in the credibility of the filmvanishes. the documentary is not simply a story, an enter-
Increasingly in present-day film-making, &i tainment, but a "story with a moral'', or rather
provisation of dialogue between actors is used. Lines a story with a point of information,and the reason
are not written and memorized by the actors, but for making the film in the first place is to convey
the dramatic situation is clearly described and the the essential information or message. Therefore
actors discuss it among themselves. W h e n shoot- the severe test of the writer's skill and imagina-
ing begins, the actors expresstheir situation with tive capacities, arises .
spontaneous, improvised dialogue before the cam- A good means of giving liveliness and variety
era. This creates sometimes an oddly stilted,un- to a documentary film, is to combine the dialogue
even exchange of dialogue between them;and other method with narration, in the same film. Certain
times, a great sense of liveliness, realism and lines are spoken as dialogue between actors, at
spontaneity. peak points of the story. But many scenes with
What is the writer's r81e in a situation using the actors are shot silent,with perhaps a sound-
improvised dialogue? Not to write lines,obvious- effects or music background, or with narration
ly. But the writer must be able to describe and spoken by an off-screen commentator, Orby one
establish the dramatic situation very fully and of the actor Is voices speaking off-screen like a
clearly so that the director and actors, when they commentator, instead of on-screen as dialogue.
approach it, h o w exactly where they are and what Such interweaving of the actor's voice (both syn-
result is desired. F r o m that point onward it is a chronous dialogue and off-screen narration spo-
matter of the director Is skill in obtaining an effec- ken by the same "character"), can bringauseful
tive result from his actors, by using the improvi- cohesion and a single point of view to the film
sation method. story.
In documentary films, there is perhaps less There is not much doubt that actors and a
scope for improvised dialogue than in feature films. story, help in making an information film effective
But all techniques which help bring realism to the and entertaining. The problem is how to use them.
film, m a y be tried. The methods of "candid", Once again, the film is very flexible. If actors are
Tr-
v6ritb" or "free cinema" technique, which concen- used,they do not have to be usednecessarilythrough-
trate on unrehearsed, authentic events just as they out the whole film;nor to speak dialogues through-
happen before the camera, also represent the con- out the whole film. Actors and story-sequences,
temporary concern to show on film the actual,spon- can be used together with other kinds of material
taneous essence of reality, unpremeditated and and other kinds of narration on the sound-track.
unprepared. One present-day theory of dialogue
~
The main problem is to combine these different
writing, believes in the device of havingthe actors methods in a clear, well-constructed script so
or "characters" speak directly from the screen to- that they do not conflict with each other,but help
wards the camera, towards the audience. Not al- to knit together the information points and essen-
ways of course, because dialogue is normally an tial ideas of the film.
exchange of speech between two actors. But onoc- These are difficult points to discuss without
casion, an actor m a y speak straight to the camera being able to refer to concrete examples. A list of
as if addressing the audience directly. This device documentary films which have used dialogue in an
often has "surprise" value and tends to involve the effective way, sometimes combined with other meth-
audience more directly with the film. ods, is given in the Appendix. Viewing such films
For the documentary writer there is a kind of will help to clarify the ideas and methods referred
tension"bui1t-in" to the problem of writing dialogues to here.

18
COMMENTARY WRITING Economy is the first great virtue in c o m m e n -
tary writing. Many words in normal writing, in
Commentary-writing is a minor art, of major im- normal sentence structure, do not need to be used.
portance. It is minor because w e must admit that Think of writing in note form, without verbs. S o m e
the commentary is very seldom the most important poetry does this; the words that remaininthe struc-
element in a film,or the thing w e finallyremember ture of the poemare essentialwords,imagezwords ,
about the film. The commentary is an auxiliary meaning-words . They are not simply decorative
element, it reinforces or supplements the informa- words or connective words or repetitive words,
tion content of the picture, shown as picture. But which add nothing of importance to the meaningof
there are various ways of doing this skilfully and statements.
effectively. -S is a consideration. But style does not
Sometimes it is said that the most effective mean elaborate or wordy writing. Style can emerge
commentary is that which is barely noticed, that from the intonation of the voice, the quality of feel-
the audience is onlybarely aware of. In other words, ing, the choice of an essentially appropriate word,
the picture material is so absorbing that the audi- used at just the right moment when the picture needs
ence gives its whole attention and is only vaguely it, when the picture and the word confirm and
aware of the exact words of narration that are spo- strengthen and amplify each other.
ken. Yet at the same time, the import of these In many documentaries, there is no need for
words is well-understood and meaningful whenever the narration to describe the literal content of the
words are used, even though the words m a y not be picture. After all, w e see the picture and under-
consciously heard by the audience. The secrethere stand what is happening. The commentaryhowever
lies in two aspects of commentary, (1) writing and can explain what the significance of the happening
(2) speaking. is. For example: a boy is walking through the
The chief danger in commentary-writing is village street, the camera moves with him and
over-writing,too many words. Over-writing can pans around to show the temple, the boy walks to-
result from sheer carelessness, the failure to re- wards the temple, other people are also moving
m e m b e r that a film is after all picture primarily; towards the temple. The commentary might say:
or from failure to write in a simple, frugal, eco- "The boy is moving through the crowded village
nomical, manner so that the ear can hear and ab- street, busy with its everyday affairs,towards the
sorb without strain or confusion. temple. Many others too are going to the temple
-
A very simple fact is this commentary is on this auspicious day". However, w e can see
onlg heard, and heard only B. The audience can't perfectlywellthat the boy is moving on the crowded
read it, can't referback to make sure what was said. street,that he is moving towards the temple, and
Moreover the audience is busy at every second of that other people are also doing the same. W e do
the film,in watching, and its primary attention is not need to be told this. The commentary could
absorbed in watching. Listening is secondary. therefore do without these unnecessarywords .The
Therefore the words that are said must be said commentary could tell US something about the & -
simply, must be simple words, must be easy to nificance of what w e see, rather than describe
grasp and there must not be too many of them, or what w e see, which is a servicew e do not need be-
they will not be heard. The commentary writer cause w e can already see it. The commentary
should remind himself every morning (possibly could for instance say: "On this auspicious day,
during a period of meditation) that film commen- many villages take time off to give thanks for the
tary is a literary form of writing. There is no harvest". After all, w e can recognize that they
place for literary figures of speech, for long roll- are going to a temple, w e don't need to specify
ingphrases,for dependent clauses,for waste words, that "this is a temple" .
for what used to be called "fine writing". C o m m e n - Here too it is difficult to define what consti-
tary by its nature should be stripped-down, terse, tutes a well-written commentary for different
economically written and spoken in note form rath- types of film, without concrete examples which can
er than in long complex sentences and paragraphs. be studied while viewing the film itself. A list of
It is always possible, having written a c o m - films is given in the Appendix which provide first-
mentary, to review it in close detail andcut many class examples of effectivecommentary-writing.
single words out of it. Let us say, cut out 15 per Viewing of these films while paying close attention
cent of the words. Then, review it further, and to the commentary, will be helpful. After viewing,
still discover another 5 per cent of words that are the film might be run again a second time without
unnecessary to the meaning of the text. Then let picture, listening only to the sound-track. The
the matter rest for 24 hours, Return to the com- picture will remain in mind and the student can ap-
mentary, hear it once more against the picture, preciate more exactlythe nature ofthe commentary-
and the writer will still find another 5 per cent of writing, keeping this in mind against the unseen
words that are expendable. All of these deletions picture.
will likely help the film; help to give it "phrasing", In general:
help it to "breathe", help the audience to digest sentences should be short as possible;
and take note of the truly important points that the sentence lengths however should vary so that all
commentary makes.

19
sentences are not the same length (otherwise whether or not in dramatized form, a film of gen-
a singsong hypnotic effect m a y be created); eral information rather than specific technical or
not a11 sentences require a formal structure with scientific instruction.
subject + verb f object; Writing for film commentary is indeed a fine
many sentences can be put in note form,just a men- art, though a minor one. It is a subordinate art.
tion ofthe essentialidea or factor in the picture Its great skill consists in adapting words to the
scene, without embodying this in an entire for- dominant impact of the picture , the material
mal sentence; by the audience. In structure,in mood ,infeeling,
the sound-track must have "breathing space" where in rhythm, the texture of the written words and
there is free play for sound effects, for music short sentences should complement the picture -
by itself,or for silence only,without any voice; not copy it, not label it, not talk it to death. And
the eye and mind of the audience needs such "breath- this contribution of the commentary, though it m a y
ing space" in order to digest and consolidate go almost unnoticed and almost unheard,can pro-
the picture information, from time to time; vide a great element of strength and structural
the commentary should always be written with a support to the complete film. It is likethe frame-
sharp eye for the content and movement of the work unseen behind the faGade of the building, giv-
actual picture sequence. For example, if there ing it shape, balance and meaning. All of this is
is a strong and exciting action of whatever kind achieved more easily by the writer who has a firm
in the picture, the commentary should either grasp of the film-editing process and knows how
anticipate the action by leading up to it and film itself is put together.
explaining its significance ahead of time, or
follow the action by commenting on it and ex-
plaining its significance. Let the action itself RHYTHM AND FLOW
however remain free from commentary so the
eye can follow and enjoy it without interruption; The previous section has spoken of "flow" within
either music, or sound-effects,or silence, will the film story. Although it is a subtle matter and
provide a better accompaniment to the action not easy to describe in words, the importance of
than spoken words, which will interfere with film rhythm and flow is of real significance. Any
the audience Is concentration and enjoyment of work of literature or music, embodies certain
the action seen on the screen. rhythms. Another term one might use is "wave-
A s with the writing of scripts, the writing of motions". A poem, an essay, a short story, a
commentaries is greatly aided when the writer has song, a symphony, contains elements of structure
himself a reasonablyextensive knowledge of the film- and rhythm. There are fast and slow passages,
making process. In commentary-writing, a good tender and strong passages. So it is with a short
grasp of film editing is highly important. The wri- film. It cannot be in just one tone, one tempo, one
ter should be aware of sequence construction, of rhythm alone. Especially this is true of a film,
how film movement is obtained through editing. which is itself essentially "moving". The rate of
Picture editing after all is a flow of picture. movement, rhythm of movement, must be varied,
Pictures unfold, action unfolds, meanings unfold, must flow from one aspect to the next. Otherwise
the whole story is a telling, an unfolding, a line the film will be dull, flat, hypnotic, unrelieved,
or flowing movement. Writing should reflect this. without excitement or inner tension. Without ten-
The written commentary considered separate- sion, there can be no satisfactory resolution,
ly m a y not read like "writing" at all. Conceivably, Therefore the short film,like many other forms,
to read the commentary without picture m a y not requires variations in rhythm, tempo, mood and
even explain the content of the film,for a reader tone.
who has not seen the film. If the commentary does This becomes a necessary guideline for the
not need to state what is obvious and what can be scriptwriter when first drafting the outline of his,
seen, then to read the commentary willnot neces- proposed film treatment. H o w will the film begin?
sarily explain what the picture shows:for the pic- With an exciting action sequence, or a broad,quiet,
ture itself will do that. The commentaryexplains tranquil, peaceful sequence? What willhappen next?
what the picture means, adds explanations or in- What will the climax of interest or action be in the
sights or makes conclusions from the actions that film story? H o w will it be resolved? Will it come
are shown. The commentary should provide a at the end of the film,before the end,in the middle?
second level of meaning, an interpretation or a Will the story begin in present time, or long ago,
deduction, from what is shown in a normal docu- assuming it is a story with some kind of a history?
mentary film.Of course these observations do not Will there be a flashback,or a number of flash-
apply to a straightforward instructional or demon- backs at different intervalsthroughout the film? Will
stration film,such as a film describing a technical the film end as it began so that the whole story is
or industrial process, or a scientific process in in the form of a round, a cycle,with all explana-
physics or biology. W e are speaking principally tions and meanings given within this framework?
of the documentary film or motivational film,a The writer has problems of structureto think
film which presents discursive story material about, and also problems of variety, of rhythm and

20
tempo. The film needs internal variations, fast to FILM S T Y L E
slow, violent to peaceful,sombre to joyful. W e are
all familiar with the ancient film cliche of the ''happy The total style of a film is only partly the result
villagers enjoying the harvest festival after bring- of the writer's work. Yet he should be aware of
ing in the bumper crops" . This festival appears in the many elements which taken together all contri-
films from every countrypossessing afilm studio. bute to the final overall style of the finished film.
Happy villagers in Ecuador, in the Ukraine , in India, W e have spoken of the camera, of the director, of
in U .S.A., in Korea, in Kenya, in Turkey, wher- the editing process, of rhythm in editing, of dia-
ever there is an agriculturaldevelopmentprogramme logue and commentary writing. But there other
and new crops are grown and new seeds demonstra- factors too.
ted and new farmingpracticesadopted,there are the F r o m the first second that the film appears
happy villagers happily stamping and whirling in on the screen, it has a style (either by default or
their folk-dances. This is an ancient and honour- by intention). What is the first title? The first
able cliche of film-making and its universal appear- "logo" or emblem to appear on the screen? IS it
ance is almost always due to the need in each film bold, recognizable, well-designed, good-looking
of resolving and providing a "break" in rhythm and to the eye, or is it muddled, shabby, scratchy,a
tempo, from the strenuous, sober, informative se- title strip printed from a much-used and much-
quences in the film which depictthe struggle to teach worn negative? What is the music doing? Isit a
and propagate the desired new farming methods. bold, clear fanfare? A song? A non-descript piece
It takes some experience and imagination for of music from "just anywhere", or a piece of m u -
the film-writer to imagine, in his inward eye, the sic or sound chosen to make a particular impact,
variation in tempo and rhythm that each sequence strike a particular response, create within two
in his projected new film will provide. Yet he must seconds a particular mood on the part of the au-
have these factors in mind, these large structural dience?
factors which will determine the key sequences of H o w do the titles of the film look? Where do
the film,to give it variety and interest, make it a they come in? Right at the beginning, on a title
lively narrative instead of a dull, humdrum mono- card? Are they well designed? Are theydecorated,
tone. handsomely lettered? Are they animated? Are they
The matter of rhythm has much to dowith m u - superimposed on a background scene which is part
sic. Film construction, like music, is composed of the actual film? D o the lengthy credit titles come
of phrases, of developments,of repeated figures, at the beginning of the film or at the end? Does part
of progressions from an initial statement to a fully- of the story begin without titles, so that the audi-
developed elaboration. ence is made to guess about what is happening,what
The cut between two scenes of a filmoftenfalls is coming next? All these questions arise with re-
''onthe beat", ''onthe phrase" . There is aninter- ference to the film titles. Should the writer give
nal flow within many film scenes, that dictates its thought to these matters, having in mind the total
own length and phrasing to the film editor .The edit- style, the total impact of the completed films?
ing process itself is much concerned with phrasing Supposing the film requires maps or diagrams
and rhythms, with the proper pacing of film scenes to explain its argument. What will be the style of
and whole sequences,with the internalrelation of layout? A flat map? A n area map? A globalmap?
sequences to each other inside the complete film. What kind of projection? Stylized or conventional?
These matters are learned by experience and by D o audiences understand maps, for the most part?
feeling;one can learn about them somewhat from Do villagers and rural people understand maps? D o
texts and manuals, but only by doing actual film- children understand maps?
editing, or taking part in it, can one graspthe sen- The s a m e with diagrams. H o w well do audi-
suous and tactile reality of the process. The script- ences of different kinds understand diagrammatic
writer will do well to acquaint himself with film presentation? D o diagrams have any place in film?
editing; particularly to follow through the entire Is it a mistake to use diagrams (percentage tables,
editing process, a film which he himselfhas writ- curves of increase in production,employment fig-
ten, so that he can see how it falls into place,what ures, nutrition requirements)? The writer should
ideas have emerged strongly and well,what remains study some films that have used diagrams, and see
unclear or unhelpful to the story. them as films shown to audiences. H e shouldsat-
Again, film writing is one element among oth- isfy himself whether the diagrams succeeded in
ers, all of which must be fused and balanced togeth- conveying the information to the audiences. What
er to form the final product. The writing thoughhas does the programme chairman or the school teach-
a basic importance because it provides the first, er or the discussion leader say about it?- What do
fundamental perspective of the story,and determines members of the audience say about it? Did they
what point of view and what interpretation the film understand the diagrams, or were they confusing?
material will project upon the screen. The French film director, Godard, in 1966
and 1967, was making use of insert-titles,posters
and drawings in his feature films. H e used these
as elements ofinformation,but they were introduced
into the films very abruptly, not as specific infor- film production. The writer approaching the new
mation but as symbols, or intuitive connexions , or m e d i u m will no doubt feel a certain nervousness,
keys to a new idea. a lack of confidence. Are there any general guide-
This is somewhat akin to the process inpaint- lines for him to follow?
ing called "collage" in which objects, cut-out pic- There are guidelines, but remarkablyfew hard-
tures, lettering, symbols and signs of different and-fast rules. If w e assume hard-and-fast rules,
kinds m a y be mounted and assembled in one single w e assume that film-making follows a set pattern,
picture. There is no reason w h y , in f i l m , such that there is a "right" and a "wrong" wayto go about
disparate elements m a y not be combined, if it is it. But in these days when films and m a n y other
effective or striking or useful to do so, in terms media are changing their shape and style andmeth-
of clarifying or strengthening a particular point of od almost from year to year, it would be foolish
information. to represent that there is only one "right" way to
Increasingly, the idea is growing that film is tackle any film problem.
a "free-form" . There is no absolute, prescribed What then are the guidelines? Let the new wri-
way to m a k e a film,of any type. Let the writer, ter ponder certain requirements. First, the film
the director, the editor, the music composer, the should be functional, it should meet a need, m a k e
art designer, try whatever they can think of. If it a point, show what it has to show with m a x i m u m e f -
works, if it is effective far the film,if it creates fectiveness . Second, it should be simple and clear.
an effect which intrigues and delights the audience, It does not need elaboration, or oratory, or literary
then it should be used. writing, or grand pretensions. The writer should
Dullness in a film results from lack of imagi- be thinking always, " H o w can w e illustratethis sub-
nation. M a n y films that are instructionalin nature, ject vividly, how can w e m a k e it clear, how c a n w e
provide little play for "way-out" imagination. Yet m a k e it simple and forceful, at the s a m e time?''
the simplest instructional film can give a kind of W h e n it comes to the final commentary of the
pleasure if its message and its presentation are film,he should think of commentary in terms of
beautifully well-proportioned and clear. In such a conversation; as if he himself were talkingwith
a presentation, titles, graphics, diagrams, anima- his audience in a conversation, a friendly informal
tion, still-pictures , drawings, m a y be used imagi- discussion. H e is not making a speech, not giving
natively. The writer should be alert to all these an honorific or formal address on s o m e state oc-
possibilities. casion. H e does not need to display his skill with
T h e total style of a film derives from manyde- language, how m a n y words or literary figures of
tails, m a n y small items taken all together. The speech he can c o m m a n d . The film he is writing
sound-track; quality of music; amount of music; should talk t &
o his audience, not them. The film
effectiveness of music ; effectiveness of particular should give a sense of sharing, of mutualinterest
sound effects. T h e look of titles; their lettering; in the subject between film-maker and audience.
the title itself (is it an interesting title? Is it in- T h e film should not be cold, or remote, not talk
triguinp Puzzling? Mystifying? Exciting? Dull?). down to its audience. It should give a sense of exa-
The pace of editing; the m o o d of the commentary; mining the subject in company with the audience,
the quality of voice in narrating the commentary; as if the film-maker and the audience were explor-
the intelligibility of the commentary. The inherent ing the subject together. And the tone of voicein
rhythm and flow of the film (does it holdattention? which the film is written and spoken, should-
IS there good variation between sequences? Does strengthen this sense of friendly and relaxed inter-
the story drag in places?). est in the subject.
T h e writer of course does not govern all the "Interest1'is an important factor, for the pre-
choices and decisions that affect the final film. sentation of the subject should above all things be
But he can anticipate m a n y of them in his initial interesting. The film should unfold, disclose, pre-
script. H e can indicate the of effect he would sent its arguments with a sense of sustainedinter-
like the titles to convey, or the diagrams, or the est and curiosity. For this the writer's imagination
music and sound effects. H e can best dothis when is called upon. The film should be clear and straight-
he himself is well acquainted with the film-making forward,yet not dull or h u m d r u m . T h e writer should
process and particularly with the editing process, approach the subject like a good journalist,finding
wherein the final details of titling, packaging, and out the essential facts in their true relationship and
presentation are all brought together and appliedto stating t h e m in a lively and absorbing way. Except
the finished film. W h e n writing for his next film,he that in making the film, he is providingfor the film
will have in mind to s o m e extent, all these factors; director a way to show the facts , rather than mere-
not just content,not just dialogues, not just research ly describe them in words. W h e n it comes to words
material and commentary writing, but the total look, finally, in the form of commentary, the words are
the = m o o d and feel of the complete film. simple, clear and forceful. What the words need
Let us imagine theproblem of a n e w scriptwri- to do is simply to clarify or provide any neededex-
ter, appointed to the task of designing a new film planation of what is shown. But the word? should
programme, in a situation where there are few never simply describe what is shown, if this is al-
technical facilities and little past experience in ready self-explanatory.

22
The new film writer m a y be a journalist,a tea- public pulse. It is a matter of identification, of
cher of English(or another language), in a college recognition, of sympathy, of fellow-feeling. The
or secondary school. H e should not be intimidated writer and the film director who has a sense of
if he has not worked previously in films. The prin- showmanship is greatly blessed.
ciples of journalism, of clear analysis and exposi- A schorlfilm about geography or health habits,
tion, are involved. Film despite its traditional can have showmanship. It is the qualitythat trans-
magic, is simply another medium capable of report- forms a film screeninginto a delightfulexperience,
ing and interpreting facts,in many different ways. rather than a wearisome lesson. It means that
The new writer should simply remind himself of imagination has been infused into the presentation
the old Chinese saying, "a journey of a thousand of the subject. It is something even better than the
miles begins with the first step" . song says, "Just a spoonful of sugar makes the
medicine go down, in a most delightful way" .
There is probably no recommended method,
THE AUDIENCE - S H O W M A N S H I P no panacea, for writers to pursue the elusive qual-
ity of showmanship. But certainly a fundamental
Film-viewing or movie-going,is a group process. aspect of it is human sympathy. H o w do ordinary
Usually one sees a film,either an entertainment people feel,respond, worry, enjoy, expressthem-
film or a school film or a documentary film, as a selves? The writer needs to have a deep sense of
m e m b e r of a group. The group responds to the this. Let him pursue this understanding, not just
film as a group; they share the s a m e moments of in writing textbooks, but in the market place,the
enjoyment, the same reactions and responses,the meeting house, the tavern, the concert hall, the
same excitements (if any) and the same stimuli. parliament, the sports stadium, the coffee shop.
This does not mean that all the people in the audi- These studies will enrich his understandingof hu-
ence will understand or conclude the same things m a n kind and his skills as a writer of film.
fromthe film; but the great majority of the audience
will see and share the experience of the film,inthe
same way. SOME RECOMMENDATIONS
The writer should know about audiences. H e
should sit with the audiences. H e should sit in the Allow sufficient time for research. Take time in
cheap seats down front, and in the expensive seats the field for research, not just in the library. If
in the first balcony. H e should watch films shown you are the writer and you are accompanying the
to schoolchildren,, films shown to village audiences film crew (withno advance opportunity for research)
out-of-doors in a market square or a school c o m - try to carry out interviews and investigations be-
pound. H e should watch films shown in the public yond the area of immediate shooting. Side-trips
library or among well-organizeddiscussion groups . and visits, informal talks with local persons. B e
H o w do all these audiences respond to the films that concerned always to widen the circle of knowledge
are shown? and awareness in which you and the crew are
The social aspect of movie-going and film- working.
watching is somethingwhich the writer should under- Keep notes. In a notebook,preferably aloose-
stand. It is a matter of feeling, probably, rather leaf. A file of notebooks over the years will build
than a matter of sociological analysis. It is a mat- up into a valuable, informal research and reference
ter of what is called "the public pulse" .It is a mat- library on many subjects and locations.
ter of group response to the same presentation, of Try and develop a facilityforsimple sketching,
shared enjoyment and experience. with pen or pencil or flow-pen (felt pen). If you
The m a n who understands this well,has a great truly have no talent whatsoever for drawing then
advantage in communication. Great entertainers -
forget it. But if you do, persevere take a little
have this quality. So do great politicians,S o m e training. The ability to make a quick sketch m a y
athletes, musicians, organizers and community be very valuable in trying to define the look of a
leaders have it. They are able to find the ''wave- scene, a composition, a grouping of people, a de-
length" of the audience, of any social group with tail for the camera.
w h o m they meet. The film writer should try to Story-boardingwith sketches is twice as effec-
develop this sense,to open his pores to the current tive a method of descriptionas writing alone. Spon-
of public feeling, public response, public attitudes . sors, crew-members , participants in the film,can
It does not mean that he works only to satisfythese grasp the intention of the film and of individual
public attitudes , but that he should understand them scenes or sequences, much more readily by the
in reference to what he himself is writing. H e m a y story-board method.
be concerned to change public attitudes .All the more Try to learn as mu& as possible about the
reason that he should know what the attitudes are - audience. If you as a writer are a city m a n ,writ-
public sentiments, prejudices, passions, worries, ing for rural people or farmers, this m a y not be
allegiances and partisan feelings . easy. One cannot just "become" a farmer. But
Showmanship is the word usually applied to a one can learn a great deal about their daily life,
presentation that truly, successfully, touches the their attitudes, their problems and hardships,

23
their satisfactions and pleasures , by visits and talks their actions are twisted and strained for purposes
and sympathetic observation. If you are a city m a n of the "story-line", the artificiality and unreality
writing for city audiences, then you are writing for of the story will immediately be apparent to the
your own community. Thewriter needs to "feel the most unsophisticated audience.
pulse" of popular attitudes on matters of the day - -
In writing narration or commentary m a x i m u m .
politics, prices , civics, entertainments,scandals, simplicity, m a x i m u m brevity. Short sentences,no
controversies. Listen to discussions onthe street complex structures. Short words, plain language.
corner, in a bus, in the tavern,in the coffee shop. Remember that the ear only hears narration m-
Listen for the idioms of daily speech. Even if you -
dentally the ear is not paying primary attention.
don't have to write dialogues for yoin- films, the Only the eye is paying primary attention. What is
knowledge of local idioms and psychology will help seen, will be remembered far more than what is
in some ways when writing scripts or commentaries . heard, in most instances. -
Find out what young children learnfrom certain If an action is shown clearly on the screen,
films. H o w much more or less do they understand, the narration does not need to state what is happen---
than you thought they would? In village audiences, ing. The narration can talk about the significance
young children are often able to explain things to or the result of what is seen, it need not describe
their parents and grandparents which all have seen what is already self-evident.
together in a film: the children will know about the A commentary once written, can almost al-
subject from their school, the elders m a y know ways be made shorter and should be. The more
nothing about it at all. pauses for "breathing-space", for music or
Keep an open mind about length and type of script. sound-effects alone, for silence by itself, for the
All films do not need to be the s a m e length or the screen image by itself without interruption,the
same type. There is value in the "single-concept" more the picture will benefit. Too wordy a com-
film,which is concerned only with a single point of mentary, too few pauses for breath or reflection,
-
instruction. Such a concept for instance, a tech- too much writing, will tend to dull the attention
-
nical procedure m a y be shown first in actualpho- and interest of the audience so that finally they
tography , then in diagrammaticform or animation, m a y unconsciously resist all voice narration and
then again in live photography. consequently hear none of it.
B e sure that the underlying structure of the
script, whether the film is long or short,simple
or complex,is logically developed and clear.W h e n A N A L Y S I N G F I L M S THAT YOU LIKE
the script structure is laid out in diagrammatic
form or in large labelled "blocks" of ideas,follow During the discussions of scriptwriting held at
a sensible progression or development. Poona , at the Unesco-sponsored training-course
If the subject permits, and is appropriate,con- in August 1967,the participants (all film-makers
sider treating it in terms of a story rather than an and professionally experienced) expressed a deep
essay. If it is a straightforward demonstration or interest in the detailed analysis of films which they
instruction, then a story is probably inappropriate. had seen and admired during the conference. Ana-
But in a motivational film,a descriptive film,a lysis of films proved to be no easier to achieve at
film about a social process, an industry or a deve- Poona than in other study conferences. However
lopment project, consider the story method. It is several films (chiefly short films and some seg-
logical to expect people (audiences) to be more in- ments of feature-lengthfilms)were studied in detail.
terested in people than in processes. H o w far and One pattern of study was as follows: a short
how suitably can the subject be translated into a film (in this case a public-information film,de-
story about people, real people who are involved signed for cinema audiences primarily,its subject
with the subject? the unity of purpose and motivation that binds to-
If people are written into the story, they must gether servicemen in the armed forces of India)
be - in the sense that they must be convincing. was screened and discussed among the group. T w o
What they do and say, must appear to be logical and participants later on took the film print, threaded
natural and believable. People are most believable it into an editing machine, and made a detailed
when doing the things they always do, in the manner shot-by-shotscene-listof the entire film.This was
which is customary and habitual to them. The writer mimeographed and distributed among the other
can only discover these things by research. participants. In studying the scene list together,
If the writer puts words into the mouths of his the groupwas able to block out the chief sequences
people that are unnatural, or writes actions into his of the film and to analyse (on paper) the progres-
script that are illogical, the film of coursewilllook sion of ideas, sequence-by-sequence.These blocks
and sound unnatural and illogical. A film that uses or sequences, written down in diagrammatic form
real people in an unnatural and contrived manner, on a blackboard,provided another graphic view of
cancels out the advantage it might have fromusing -
the script structure in large units of ideas, ra-
people as an element of its story. ther than in detailed shot-by-shot form, or in the
The motivations and actions of people in the story, conventional vertical layout of a scriptwherein pic-
must be true to their situation in ordinary life. If ture content is indicated on one side of the page,

24
and matching narration of commentary is written scriptwriter had the idea in his mind and could
opposite on the same page. indicate it, sketch it out (so to say) rather than
The film was then screened a second time, after convey an exact sense of it in terms of written
some study of the main blocks or sequences and the words. It took the director, the cameraman,the
progression of ideas therein contained. O n this sec- film editor and the sound editor, to bring to life the
ond screening,the viewers paid particular attention idea which the scriptwriter had in mind.
to the placement of sentencesin the spoken narration, W h e n seeing the film as an audience, the par-
the exact "spotting" and impact of individualsentences ticipants at the Poona training course had only a
in relation to picture . Also they noted particularly general sense of the effectiveness of this particu-
the use of dominant sound effects; of silent scenes lar scene and sound track. But after studyingthe
or sections where little or no music, sound effects, written scene-list (so that one could see the exact
or voice was used; and the use of "key" scenes or context in which the schoolboy scene was used,both
symbolic scenes,sometimes repeated,sceneswhich at the beginning and at the end of the film)and after
had not only a literal value in terms of picture con- screening the film itself a second time, one could
tinuity within a sequence,but also had symbolicval- then appreciate the exact value and construction of
ue representing much deeper meanings than the this particular scene and why it was so effective.
literal object or person shown in the scene. For Such an analysis of specific effects and detailina
example : early in the f i l m , the principal "charac- film is valuable to the young film writer and direc-
ters" or persons who appear throughout the very tor in a way in which ordinary viewing of a film is
simple story, are introduced, in their everyday not. After all one sees a film (usually)once only,
working context. One of these is a small boy, as an audience. On that one screening, there is
neatly dressed, carrying his books on the way to no opportunity to stop one Is own reactions and re-
school. H e is in fact the little brother of one of sponses, and say to oneself, "0yes, the writer
the servicemen shown elsewhere in the film. O n has referred back to an early idea from the first
this first appearance,the small boy represents reel, and the sound track he is using suggests a
simply himself, a m e m b e r of a family, an indivi- different value from the first time when w e saw the
dual. At the end of the film however, after w e have scene in the first reel". For the film is flowing
visited various servicemen on duty in various parts past and as w e know, it doesn't stop, and there-
of the country, and after w e have gained some con- fore there is little opportunity to analyse and dis-
siderable sense of the c o m m o n cause which unites sect the structure of the film while it is playing.
all these servicemen though they m a y come from For the writer however there is great value in look-
different regions of India and speak in different lan- ing at the film a second and a third time; better yet,
guages and profess different faiths , w e see the small in running it through the editing machine,the viewer
schoolboy once again. This time however, he is or moviola, to see the exact sequence of scenes,
seen in the context of certain symbolic, significant the exact points of transition or connexion,the ex-
scenes which denote the abiding values and tradi- act cutting-points of particular effectiveness, the
tions of Indian history up to the present time. And exact construction of a well-edited sequence, per-
this time, the small boy represents not just him- haps one that is edited with such a rapid tempo that
self, an individual,but e lschoolboys,l& the youth, it is almost impossible to see how it is constructed
-
all the future, the idea of a new society and a when viewing it during an ordinary screening. A n
new technology and a new dynamic following-on from analysis after screening, has great value for the
the long tradition of his country. A s w e watch him writer (for any film-maker in fact). And to make
marching briskly along the street on his way to a scene list, then review it on paper and see how
school,the sound of many marching feet, soldiersI many scenes were used to a certain sequence, or
boots striking the pavement, a powerful massive how a new idea introducing a new sequence has been
sound, gradually grows in volume on the sound- -
introduced with a particular kind of shot such a
track. A n extraordinary effect is achieved by this procedure makes it possible to understandthe basic
use of a strong sound-effect of something not seen ideas underlying the film and the way in which the
in the picture but used in relation to a picture, an the scriptwriter's mind has worked when putting it
effect which has symbolic as well as literal value. together.
The two elements together (picture of the school- For any writer, it is a valuable exercise to
boy and sound track of many marching feet) effect select three or four films which he particularlyad-
an unmistakable synthesis, and a powerful impact, mires and finds particularly effective; and then to
conveying clearly the idea of marching m e n as the make a study, analysis, and close examination,
guardians and champions of the future. Many ideas which will help to give him a basic sense of struc-
in fact were stimulated by this one scene used in ture and organization which is fundamentalto good
conjunctionwith the particular sound effect of march- script writing. As stated earlier, it m a y not be
ing feet. And these ideas would be very difficultto the case that every film requires a script,or that
express or convey in a written script which one all great films have had a detailed scriptto begin
might read before seeing the film. Only seeing the with. But if there is to be a script,then the whole
film itself, can convey the full effect and import of essence and value of the script in itself,is in its
the particular scene and sound effect together.The organization, an inner structural strength, a

25
clearly-conceivedprogression of ideas.The "script" Where officialdom is the sponsor, and the films
can never be inthe finishedfilm;but the finished are assigned and supervised through a purely
film is what it is, because of the underlying struc- bureaucratic process, the risk is great of ending-
ture, skeleton,foundation, framework provided by up with films that embody that flat, hollow, uncon-
the script. vincing sound of propaganda which is characteristic
of so much official film-making .All of us have seen
these films and recognizethe signs.The hearty, un-
CONCLUSION failing enthusiasmofthe narrator.The repetitious
march-music . The generalized,windy narration
In these days of the late 196O1s,there are manynew without precise facts and with large generalities
ideas circulating about the making of films. Some of statement. The visits to the capital city, made
of the ideas hav'e to do with the unrehearsed, un- by other Heads of State. The inspections, guards
planned use of the camera and tape recorder as of honour, airport arrivals and departures,limou-
recording instruments, as mirrors to the face of sines with opening and closing of doors. The cutting
reality. Many excellent films and television shows of ribbons,polite applause, dignitaries at the mi-
and reportages by film or television, are made in crophone. Cornerstores, dedication ceremonies,
this way of spontaneous on-the-spot, unresearched visits to the new steel mil1,the new hydro station.
and unpremeditated documentation with the camera. Yet all of these a#e important events, signifi-
Nonetheless, this body of film-maeng (free cant to the country and to the welfare of the citizens.
cinema,candid cinema,"cinCma vCrit6") represents The scriptwriter must therefore gird himself up
only one part, one approach, one idea in the whole and with stout heart set about finding freshandhon-
complex range of film activity. There are stilland est ways of presenting such material. In fact,this
will continue to be , many films requiredfor a great is material of value; the film,communicating the
many different purposes, all of which will need to facts of growth and change to a national audience.
be carefully considered,carefullyorganized,care- The task is not the writer Is alone,but thedirector Is
fully researched and carefully scripted. Films of and cameraman's. Of course, what is needed in
instruction, films of orientation,films for training, the films is not the events and dignitaries alone,
films to motivate audiences to undertake new ways but the people themselves,who take part in the cere-
and means of organizing their daily life. All such monies and whose lives and prospects are affected
films require organization, clarity, impact-value. by the new developments. Somehow these\people,
Many films will continue to use the device of a cen- the citizens, who are also the audience,must find
tral character enacting a story, which is represen- their place in this record of events. The camera
tative of the actual situation with which the writer must see how they are affected, how they sharein
and the audience are concerned (changes in the so- the new projects and policies. Identification is the
cial patterns of life in villages, for example; principle here too, so that the audience can feel a
changes in the methods and tools of technical agri- sense of sharing, of being part of the whole nation-
culture; changes in health or nutrition habits). Many -
al picture. Otherwise only limousines, ribbons,
of these films will depend upon the principle of guards of honour, salutes, sunglasses, airports;
identification, whereby the audience identifies itself nothing for the hearts of the audience.
with the hero or the central character or characters Scriptwriting finally is the fundamental effort
in the story,and thereby applies the storytoits own to bring the film close to the audience.
life and daily circumstances. Clarity to make the meaning and significance
Other films will be neededto describe processes of the film unmistakable.
as a part of training or education; scientific or tech- Interest to make it lively, with the eternal ele-
nical or workshop practice; the teaching of skills. ment of story-telling, of unfolding, of discovery,
Such films will require above all, clarity and luci- of movement; so the film will be truly a "moving-
dity. The principal points of information or teach- picture" .
ing concepts,will have to be made crystal-clear Humanity to give it that direct and recognizable
and effective so that they remain permanentlyin the sympathy with the lives and problems of real peo-
mind of the audience. Such films m a y require ani- -
ple the audience.
mation, or close-up photography, or time-lapse Of course there are, as noted earlier, catego-
photography,or micro-photography,to show clearly ries of filmwhere no story and no people canusefully
the nature of a particular process. enter in. Instruction, demonstration,techniques,
Other films of a more general kind willsimply and processes, scientific and technical subjects.
report to wide audiences on the overall progress But here the very clarityand logic of the exposition
and developments within their own country. A num- can (in its way) provide a value as compelling as
ber of "emerging" countries make use of the film "story-interest"in a dramatized or semi-dramatized
medium to put before their movie-going population filmtreatment.A film of exposition or explanation,
a form of regular report on national affairs. These can also embody the principle of rhythm; of variety
films, ranging from newsreels to newsmagazines in pacing,from one section to the next; of disclosyre ,
to documentaries and "official" films, present in surprise, climax, curiosity. Above all things it
some ways the hardest job of all for the scriptwriter shouldnot be leaden and monotonous. Let the writer

26
perspire earnestly with an effort to discover the changeable substance. It communicates; not allthe
true elements of interest within his subject, and theorists can yet establish the precise nature of the
find the way to embody these elements in his film process whereby it does so, to heart and mind,
treatment. imagination and reason, m e m o r y and intuition. It
All of this seems then to converge at one point - has finally the great quality or capacityof giving
the point of mental concentration, an intensive pro- pleasure while it provides information.It is the
cess of thinking and reviewing and considering the task of the scriptwriter to make sure that pleasure,
subjectof the film,waking and sleeping,for as many enjoyment,is built into the initialconcept and treat-
days as it requires for the writer to c o m e to his con- ment of the film, no matter how simple a filmit
clusion about the best way of treatment which he can m a y be: so that the end result will be for the audi-
devise, according to his best capacities of mind, ence an experience of communication or learning,
judgement and conscience. More than that he can- enriched b-y pleasurable mental and imaginative
not do. And yet, two months after the film is fin- stimulation. At the outset it is the writer who has
ished,he willbe able to look at it again and discover the task, and the opportunity, to see that the film
still other things, possibly better, that he could will achieve this desirable result. His rale there-
have done. Film is an elusive, electric,subtle and foreis fundamentallyimportzintin the whole process
of conceiving and delivering the finished film.

27
APPENDIX I
ORIGINAL SCRIPT OF INDIAN GOVERNMENT
DOCUMENTARY FILM "JAI JAWAN". (EXCERPT)

Description of shot Narration Other sounds and music

Shots of soldiers in the Himalayan situation in a state of Natural sounds of the place
physical strain, watchfulness, exhaustion; for example, and of the physicala'ctivities
a group of soldiers on a snow field plodding knee-deepin as shown.
snow - a group pulling a mountain gun - a groupcrossing
a dangerous stream,

- C L O S ESHOT and CLOSEUPS of soldiers gasping after


hard labour.

E.L.S.Soldier on a high cliff against a snowpeak. -


L.S. Cut along same axis - soldier on a high cliff DO YOU KNOW THIS M A N ? DO
against snow peak. YOU KNOW WHERE HE COMES
F R O M ? DO YOU KNOW WHY
M.S. (Cut along same axis) - soldier's back. HE IS HERE?

M.C.USame soldier's face (truck into C .U.). THIS IS PRABHAKARAN , FROM


THOTTAPALLI.

C.U. A bunch of flowers in a woman's hair (Malayali Soft female Malayali voice,
woman in a village) - we look past the nape of overlapping from shot 61 to
her neck. shot 62.

L.S. Cluster of coconut palms moving with mild


stillness in the breeze (a typical Kerala
landscape).

L.S. Trees and grassy ground.

M.C.U Still water of a pond (STAY ON THIS) Splash of water.


stillness broken by circular ripples (CAMERA
MOVES AS IF TO SEARCH FOR THE CENTRE "Bud. ..bud...bud...I' -
OF THE SOURCE OF RIPPLES). A female continues.
hand, bare and beautiful, is disturbing the The sound of water drops
surface of the water. The other hand brings falling into a pitcher.
in a pitcher which is dipped into the water.
Water gurgles as it enters the pitcher.

(STILL)Prabhakaran,thinking pensively. "Bud.. .bud...bud...'I


continues.

(STILL)of a girl as she stands gazing pensively in the "Bud. ..bud.. .'I
depths of the water. The fullpitcherisonherhip. continues.

L .S. Pond, in the fading light of day. "Bud. ..bud...'I continues.

(STILL)A n old woman (Prabhakaran'smother) looking "Bud. .'I.


in deep thought at something to the right. (FADES AWAY).

(STILL)Prabhakaran's wife looking at something to General night sounds,


the left. rustling of palms, chirping
of crickets.
Prabhakaransssmiling face on a group photograph we -
PULL BACK to reveal that it is a group photograph with
-
his wife and child, and father and mother who are
sitting in chairs.
(The photograph is a rustic village photographer'swork,
as if the picture was taken when Prabhakaran was at
home on his last holidays).
29
Description of shot Narration Other sounds and music

When we pull back we see that the group photo is hung Night sounds - rustling of
in the same corner of the house which is the shrine, palms, etc.
with other idols and pictures of Gods and Goddesses
as would obtain in a typical'rural Kerala village house-
hold. An oil lamp is burning in this corner.

(NIGHT)M .C .U.Soldiers sleeping in a bunker. Night sounds.

(NIGHT)(Camera composition the same as in Scene 73)


Prabhakaran lying on his bunk facing camera.
H e is not sleeping. (WEHOLD) H e turns over
and pulls his blanket over his face.

(NIGHT)(Camera composition the same as in Scene 73) Night sounds - rustling of


Prabhakaran's wife lying down. She turns palms.
over. As she turns, we TILT UP SLIGHTLY
to show her little son, sleeping next to her.
As she turns, she pulls up a blanket over her
sleeping son.
(FADEOUT)

30
APPENDIX I1
POST-PRODUCTIONSCRIPT,SAME SEQUENCE OF SAME FILM "JAI JAWAN" AFTER SHOOTING AND EDITING
OF THE FILM: SHOWING ALTERATIONS TO ORIGINAL IDEAS AS STATED IN THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT

Sound
Shot Screen Description of shot Length Of Sound effects Commentary Notes
No. size shot and music

(Note: this segment is Sequence I11 of the completed film)

45. 1. s. camera pans from r. to 1. over 11.5ft. music (strong-


- soaring or
mountains music accent on uplifting
beginning of effect
mountain scene)
II
46. 1. s. quick parallel tracking movement 5ft.
over a frozen river
II
47. 1.s. 3 soldiers carrying water from river 9.5ft.
I1
48. c.U. a soldier lifting water from the river 9.5ft.

49. C.U. wheel of an ambulance vehicle splash- 3. 5ft. strong sound of


ing through the shallow river vehicle, motor
is racing
I1
50. m . c.U. tracking shot looking backward at road 2ft. )
-
from moving vehicle deep ruts in 1
snowy road from the vehicle 1
)violent effect of
51. c.U. two hands of driver on the steering 2ft. )strong, spinning
wheel )movement (sound
)and picture)
I,
52. C.U. Sikh driver in the vehicle 3ft. )
)
53. c.U. tracking view from side of vehicle 3ft. 1
of snow-coveredroadside 1
54. 1. s. a convoy of army trucks coming to- 4ft.
wards camera. (Diagonal composition;
wide-angle lens)

55. 1.s. camera pans over snow-clad 19.5ft. sound of low IT'S NOT JUST
mountains whistling wind SHINY SHOES
strong contrast
56. 1.s. mountains, similar shot 10.7ft. ditto NOT JUST in mood of the
UNIFORMS. NOT sound effects
JUST MEDALS
OF GOLD AND
SILVER

57. 1. s. camera pans over snow-clad 8.5ft. ditto UP HERE AT


mountains and rests on a solitary 17,000 FEET - II
soldier standing vigil TEMPERATURE
17" C.
58. m . s. cut into closer view same angle of 8ft. (This is)
solitary soldier (a few blank dark PRABHAKARAN
frames between the scenes giving NAIR, FROM
the effect of changing lenses during mRALA.
filming)

59. C.U. the soldier from Kerala (again a few 4.5ft. beginning of a effect of changing
dark frames between the shots to give typical Kerala lens helps to fix
the effect of changing lens) song attention on the
person

31
Sound
Shot Screen
Description of shot LengthOf Sound effects Commentary Notes
No. size shot and music

60. m . 1.s. typical Kerala landscape. Cocunut 9ft. song continues


palms on either side of a river
(camera moves in slowly)

61. m . 1.s. camera pans from 1. to r. over the 22ft. song continues new and rich
Kerala landscape to reveal a Kerala -
music evocative
woman by a wall, turning to draw
water from the well.
I1
62. m.c.U. woman drawing water from the well 4.5ft.
11
63. c.U. pulley turning, rope coming in 4ft.
1,
64. top view interior of a deep well, bucket going 4ft.
in

65. m.s. woman drawing water 4ft. song fades away fadeout of music
ahead of next
sequence,-
poigpant effect

66. C.U. profile of Prabhakaran Nair against 2. 5ft low sound of wind lonely, chilly
the background of mountains mood

67. m.s. photograph of Prabhakaran Nair 25ft. humming sound of


hangs on the wall of a palm- a lullaby begins
thatched hut: camera tilts down to part way through
reveal a child sleeping in a cradle the shot
and the woman who was shown
drawing water at the well; she prays
before a picture of Lord Krishna

68. 1. s. camera pans from 1. to r. in a 14ft. lullaby continues


military barracks; sleeping soldiers.
Prabhakaran Nair is reading, near a
lantern
69. m.s. the woman (Prabhakaran'swife) loft. lullaby continues
finishes praying before the picture
of Lord Krishna, takes a flower and
puts it in her hair, exits from frame
II
70. m.s. Prabhakaran Nair in the barracks 9ft.
puts out the light after finishing his
reading
11
71. m.1. s. Prabhakarn's wife goes to sleep on 13.5ft.
her mat on the floor

72. m . s. Prabhakaran Nair sleeps, adjusts 6.5ft. lullaby fades away.


wool blanket over his head Crickets, night music is out,
sounds sound effects only

73. m . s. woman and child in the hut; she 16ft. night sounds.
adjusts her blanket over the child

(FADEOUT)

32
APPENDIX 111
ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR AN ANIMATED FILM FOR
RURAL PUBLIC AUDIENCES IN INDIA, ON THE S U B J E C T OF
NATIONAL PLANNING. ("THED R E A M S OF MAUJIRAM") . (EXCERPT)

Fade in

Visuals (Animation) Narration

Camera sweeps across a rural setting, stopping (Pastoral music in the beginning and then the
finally on a short, stumpy man. H e wears a big sound of the hubble-hubble pipe.) "Meet E i
mushroom-like turban which very nearly covers Moji R a m , more popularly known as Sheikh
his eyes. He is leaning against a tree and draws Chilli. If he wears his 'pugreelthat way it is
deeply from his hubble-hubble. The m a n appears only to shield him from the daily grind. In his
to be at peace with the world. The fluffy, white o w n way, however, Chilli does dream of abetter,
clouds of smoke he exhales hold him in a trance. more rosy life. But how? I t

Dissolve

His one hand holding the "hookah" and the other "One day a merchant engaged Chilli to carry a
busy adding up figures in the air, Chilli walks pot of honey to a neighbouring village. In return,
sleepily; a jar of honey is precariously perched Chilli would receive half a rupee. Chilli was
on his head. Chilli puffs at his "hookah" contin- naturally happy. For with his acumen for invest-
uously, mechanically. But as he multiplies ments, he could do wonders even with so small
figures in the air, he is often amused at the cal- a sum. .. . T o begin with, he would buy six eggs.
culations and the thought of future prosperity These when hatched, would yield six chicks. ...
brings a glow on his face. In time, these would multiply into cocks and hens
and then a big poultry farm I'.

(Sound of sudden quacking and crowing of hens


and cocks) "and then he would buy a pair of cows
and a bull". ... (the sound of braying of several
cows and bulls alternately changes into the jingle
of money). ...

Shot of Chilli, his face is ecstatic. It is than that (Music in the beginning, then the monotonous
a fly settles on his nose and begins to tickle him. drone of a bee). "Wallowing in wealth, Chilli
Chilli ignores it in the beginning, then suddenly was. ....when a fly. ....a mere fly. ....brought
he raises his hand to swat it, but he misses itand his airy castle crashing down."
hits the jar of honey, which comes crashing down.
Chilli's face is all smeared with honey and a swarm
of flies attacks him.

Dissolve

A group of noisily chattering farmers gathered in "Even a small event causes excitement in the
the village meeting place. The village Mukhiya village. But when the village Mukhiya received
reads out some names from a list and each the list of those selected for a tour of India, al-
announcement causes considerable excitement; most the entire habitation was astir and agog with
the man whose name is announced is heartily exhilaration. Not so Sheikh Chilli, who viewedit
complimented and back-slapped by his friends. all rather coldly, cynically. But then, who would
W e can spot Chilli in a corner puffing at his "hookah" have dreamt that Chilli would be among the chosen
H e appears cynical, disinterested. But when the ones? H e , naturally spurned the offer. 'What's
Mukhiya announces his name, he is as much sur- the use of visiting big plants and projects when
prised and startled as the others are. Chilli at they mean little to m y o w n life? I mused Chilli. . ..
once spurns the offer. But finally, after a good and if Chilli did give in,it was more out of considera-
deal of friendly persuasion by the Mukhiya and tion for his friendsthanthe loud talk of the Mukhiya
others, Chilli gives in. about the virtue of our plans."

Cut in

33
Visuals (Animation) Narration

W e see a sign: "Bharat Darshan Special'' (Sound effect of the moving train and music.)
(Tour of India); tilt down to show Chilli wearing
his mushroom turban, leisurely puffing at his
-
"hookah" inside the moving train. Others are
chattering excitedly.

Dissolve

Photograph of a d a m under construction; Chilli "Water is the Indian farmer's major problem,
and his friends visiting it. The village Mukhiya both the excess and the lack of it. And these
begins to explain something when he is cut short dams would rid the farmer of this problem", says
by Chilli. A n argument ensues. the Mukhiya. "What land remains, is as arid as
before", says Chilli. "But some day this water
will reach your land too ." "But when? W h y
doesn't the Sirkar speed it up? I' asks Chilli
indignantly.

Again a photograph of the fertilizer factory at Chilli is no less indignant when the Mukhiya ex-
Sindri; the farmers are seen visiting it. Chilli plains that fertilizer, produced in this factory,
again taunts the Mukhiya, when the latter begins would restore vitality to our impoverished soil
to recount the benefits of fertilizers. and help grow better bumper crops. Chilli calls
it "bumber talk.'I

Next we see the farmers visiting a steel mill. But no amount of talk can produce a ton of steel -
While most others appear impressed and over- and it's steel which measures the strength of a
awed with the experience, not so Chilli. H e nation.
maintains his cynical and argumentative attitude
The Mukhiya answers back calmly and casually. "What has a farmer to do with steel?" argues
Other farmers laugh at the absurdity of Chilli's Chilli.
questions. For once Chilli feels outwitted.
"Plenty. Right from the share of your plough to
the coil around your hoorah' ...'I
(Laughter)
"What is more, all the modern agricultural im-
plements are made of iron and steel."

Next the farmers are seen visiting Chittarangan "And what of the railways which link our country
L,ocomotiveFactory. Chilli still keeps his -
from end to end. They too need steel steel to
indifferent attitude. build engines and coaches, steel to lay hundreds
-
of miles of new track dams, farms and fac-
tories. These are signposts of a plannedprogressI'.

Shot of Chilli at night, rather restive, he cannot (Music and sound effects, to intensify the mood) :
sleep. Superimpose a sequence of shots of the "Even if Chilli's defences are beginningto crumble,
d a m , steel mill,fertilizer factory and the he is not the one to admit it ."
-
ChittaranganLocomotive Works these all play
upon his mind. H e wakes up agitated, his face
bathed in sweat.

WND OF EXCERPT .)

34
APPENDIX IV

P O S T - P R O D U C T I O N SCRIPT OF CANADIAN GOVERNMENT


DOCUMENTARY FILM "PHOEBE". (EXCERPT)

-
Cut to Phoebe lying on a beach her eyes closed. Cut to a scene in Phoebe's home. Her parents are
-
Paul comes out of the water and stands over her
letting water drip on her.
fighting.

FATHER: Well, what you think about? D o you


PAUL: W h y don't you come for a swim.. might think about anything? Tell me. .I'd like to know
refresh your mind or something? just what you think about! !

PHOEBE: Uh-uh.. .not now. MOTHER: All you can do is criticize! Nothing I
do is right! I'm sick to death of your criticizing:
PAUL: Agh! (exasperation)
FATHER: I'msick to death of listening to your
-
Cut to the farmhouse again this time Paul and bellyaching! !!
Phoebe are improvising a game *. 9. shouts and
laughter, etc. as they chase each other happily Mother dissolves in tears.
from room to room. They run out of the house and
roll down a nearby hill into the deep grass. H e Cut to the beach scene again. Phoebe, noticing
kisses her eagerly. that the eccentric-looking group of merrymakers
mentioned earlier in the picture has now been re-
Cut to the beach. They are lying side by side. duced from three to two (one of the girls is mis-
sing). calls Paul frantically.
PAUL: Phoebe.. goddess of the moon.. .
PHOEBE: Paul!. . Paul!. .
PHOEBE: Paul, what if I told you something.. .
She lies down again. She begins to daydreamonce
PAUL: (eagerly) Like, let's go back to the house? more (imagining the next two scenes).

PHOEBE: (angrily) Oh.. .never mind. HIGH SCHOOLPRINCIPAL: Well, Phoebe, so


you're going to have a baby.. .(speaking in kindly
PAUL: What's the matter with you anyway? tones). ..very well, m y dear, these things can't
be helped. We'll let you out of school when your
PHOEBE: Will you stop saying that! !Nothing's time comes. ..and then when you want to take your
the matter with me! !Nothing! ! ~ -
exams. . you can when you feel that you're ready.

PAUL: What did you come out here for? Phoebe, still lying on the sand, imagines the prin-
cipal reacting in extreme opposite fashion.
PHOEBE: It was your idea.
PRINCIPAL: It's very unfortunate, of course.. .
PAUL: Well, I'm sorry if I'm boring you. you understand that I have no choice in thematter.
you'll have to leave the school at once.. .when
PHOEBE: Oh, leave m e alone. Please, leave m e your -- difficult period is over, you m a y be ad-
alone! mitted to another school, no doubt. o .meanwhile,
the ruling of the school board is quite explicit.. .
PAUL: Okay, okay! It'll be a pleasure. w e have the other girls to think of. a .

35
Phoebe lying on the beach, alone. Cut back to beach again.

Phoebe now swimming. PAUL: Whose idea was it to call you Phoebe?
Phoebe and Paul are seen in a silhouette view on PHOEBE: M y godfather.. .he's got these funny
top of a large, unfinished,high-rise apartment ideas.. .he's an artist.. . m y parents say he's
building. crazy. D.

Back to the beach. Phoebe calls Paul,frantically. PAUL: Is he really?


H e appears behind her suddenly with bottle of sun-
tan lotion. PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: Where were you? PAUL: Phoe--be.. .goddess of the moon.. .I bet
you get teased about K
t in school.
PAUL: Went back to the house to get the sun-tan
lotion. Want some on your back? P H O E B E : Paul.. .

PHOEBE: Okay. PAUL (lazy): Mmm.. ..


-
Cut to shot of a city scene tall buildings under PHOEBE: Have you ever thought what it would be
- -
construction It is night-time Paul and Phoebe
-
walk together in a tight embrace he kisses her.
like to die ?

PAUL: Mmm.
PHOEBE: It's so scary here.
PHOEBE: Doesn't it scare you?
Cut to the beach scene again.
PAUL: W h y should it? If you were going to live
PAUL: Tell m e what's eating you? for ever, you'd get bored stiff.

P H O E B E : Oh, I don't know. P H O E B E : But


when they die ?
-- what if someone's still young
PAUL: Sick?
PAUL: When you're young, you're supposed to be
PHOEBE: No - I'm not sick. I'm just -- sort of -- thinking about living. ..how come you're suddenly
fed up. so interested in dying?

PAUL: Is it something I did? PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. I'm scared.

PHOEBE: N o -
nothing to do with you.. .I just feel PAUL: ofdyhg?
sort of strange today, that's all.
P H O E B E : No. Not that.
PAUL: Okay.
Paul calls out to group of three merrymakers seen
Cut to scene of Phoebe's father dressing, in the previously on the beach.
master bedroom of Phoebe's home. H e is in a
raging temper. P A U L : Hey.. .have you characters got a car here?

FATHER: Everyone on the block will know. ..we're During the long drive home in the car, Phoebe is
finished around here! M y name is W. wondering what her mother's reaction will be when
she tells her mother that she is pregnant. The car
Cut to scene of a party in Phoebe's home. Music radio cuts in and out continually during this se-
and dancing. quence. Phoebe imagines the followingthree scenes.

MARGIE: M y sister sent m e to this doctor. ..it was PHOEBE: Mother.. .I have something to tell you.
all very secret.. .had to go over to his house. ..in something important. ..
half an hour it was over.
PHOEBE (offset): Mother. ..what I have to tell you. ..
PHOEBE: Weren't you scared? Did it hurt? isn't easy!

MARGIE: No -
it didn't hurt. H e told m e there was
nothing to be scared of --
so I wasn't.
Mother, I'm going to have a baby!
MOTHER: Phoebe! (unbelievingly)

36
PHOEBE: Mother, I'm going to have a baby: MOTHER: Phoebe. ..have you gone crazy? W h e r e
are you going?
MOTHER: Phoebe. ..what are you saying. .what
are you saying to me'. It isn't true! No.. .No: -
S a m e action is repeated only n o w m o r e realis-
Phoebe'.!What have you done! !Your father will tically, at normal speed.
kill you! !What have you done ?
PHOEBE: Hi.
Phoebe now imagines her parents reacting to the
-
news in exactly the opposite w a y with ecstatic joy. MOTHER: Hi. Dinner will be late.
PHOEBE: Mother.. .Dad.. .I'mgoing to have a PHOEBE: That's all right -- I'm not very hungry
baby! anyway.

MOTHER: Darling, how wonderful'. MOTHER: What are you staring at? Is anything
the matter?
FATHER: That news, m y dear.

MOTHER N o w your r o o m won't be large enough --


so we'll have to fix up the den.. Phoebe's bedroom.

FATHER: . ahd you'll have to start taking care A hallway in Phoebe's home. She phones to Paul.
of yourself.
PHOEBE: Paul?. what I've been trying to tell
D.

Cut to the car drawing to a stop in front of Phoebe's you all day is.. .I'm going to have a baby.
house.
She hangs up the telephone without waiting for an
PHOEBE: Bye, Paul. Bye everybody. answer.

OTHERS: See you again'. She returns to her r o o m and begins to cry.

Phoebe enters the house and without speaking to


anyone, begins to pack up her clothes in a great
hurry. (END OF EXCERPT).

37
APPENDIX V

P O S T - P R O D U C T I O N SCRIPT OF CANADIAN GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTARY FILM


PRODUCED FOR TELEVISION, "POISONS, P E S T S AND PEOPLE". (EXCERPT)

MR.FLEMING6ecretaryof Health): I have urged EZRA BENSON: I expect to eat them at Thanks-
today that no further sale be made of cranberries giving, yes. I like them. I ate them last Sunday
and cranberry products produced in the States of as a matter of fact.
Washington and Oregon in 1958 and 1959 because
of their possible contamination,by a chemicalweed- N A R R A T O R : Meanwhile, the stores and super-
killer which causes cancer in the thyroid of rats markets were busy with Thanksgiving shoppers.
when it is contained in their diet. I have urged that
these sales be suspended until the cranberryindus- INTERVIEWER: Excuse m e , have you bought any
try has submitted a workable plan to separatethe cranberries since the government announced the
contaminated berries from those that are not ban?
contaminated.
WOMAN C U S T O M E R : No, because I didn't need
NARRATOR: In-NewJersey, the area manager of them.
a large cranberry processing company, Mr. Ed.
Lipman, is concerned about customer relations. INTERVIEWER: Don't you like cranberries? Are
you going to eat some, now that they've been
MR.LIPMAN: H o w has the industry been hurt? cleared?
Well, you know this is a co-op and w e have been
spending great sums of money, over twenty mil- WOMAN: Certainly.
lion dollars for example in the last five years,to
tell the public about the good healthful qualitiesof INTERVIEWER: You'llhave them for Thanksgiving, ,

our cranberryproducts. N o w Ithink with one short then?


statementin Washington on Monday, all of the value
of that, or a good part of it, has been wiped out. WOMAN: Yes.
This is one damage that w e have suffered. Nowin
New Jersey w e stand to lose maybe a half a mil- INTERVIEWER: Thank you very much.
lion dollars through this thing.
INTERVIEWER: Pardon m e , have you bought any
INTERVIEWER: Do you think this scare has ruined cranberries since the ban was announced?
the cranberry business for good?
2 N D WOMAN No, I wouldn't buy them.
MR.LIPMAN. Definitely not. This is an old,old
- -
industry cranberries and it's a very fine tra- INTERVIEWER: Are you going to buy any,now that
ditional one in N e w Jersey and all over the coun- they've been cleared for public consumption?
try. And this too will pass. But it certainly is
going to be a definite setback in the immediate 2 N D WOMAN: NO,I wouldn't buy them either.
future.
INTERVIEWER: YOUwon't buy them now either?
N A R R A T O R : Back in Washington, another opinion
about cranberries is expressed by the Secretary 2 N D WOMAN. No.
of Agriculture, Ezra Benson.
INTERVIEWER: W h y won't you buy them?
INTERVIEWER: Are you personally concerned,
would E eat cranberriesfor your Thanksgiving 2 N D WOMAN: Because I believe what the govern-
dinner? ment said. You don't want to get sick.

38
INTERVIEWER: Excuse m e , m a d a m , have you been protected from the ravages of insects by
bought any cranberries since the government ban chemical sprays, and other insecticides.
was announced? Most of us no longer grow our own food. It is
cultivated for us in enormous quantities. Andits
3 R D WOMAN: No. production requires the widespreaduse of pesticides.
W e must seek to be truly and deeplyknowledgeable
INTERVIEWER: W h y is that? about their nature and proper use. For these mod-
ern weapons are immensely potent -- and in the
3 R D WOMAN. Well, I'm a bit sceptical,youknow. hands of a few, they m a y affect the lives of
millions.
NARRATOR: Yet,in this supermarket, as in other
stores in every city in Canada, the produce has (END OF EXCERPT)

39
APPENDIX VI

S O M E RECOMMENDED F I L M S NOTABLE F O R
EFFECTIVE COMMENTARY WRITING

NIGHT MAIL John Grierson narration, verse, and dialogue

S O N G OF CEYLON Basil Wright historical texts as narration

DIARY FOR TIMOTHY Humphrey Jennings

THURSDAY'S CHILDREN Lindsay Anderson

DELTA P H A S E I Bert Haanstra clear, semi-technicalexposition of


a process

REPORT FROM COLOMBIA James Blue


United StatesInformation Agency

Y E A R S OF LIGHTNING,DAY
OF D R U M S United States Information Agency

FIELDS OF SACRIFICE National Film Board of Canada

LONELY BOY Kroitor, Koenig minimum amount of narrative plus


National Film Board of Canada synch. sound

MEMORANDUM Brittain, Spotton condensed yet evocative narration


National Film Board of Canada

CULLODEN Peter Watkins extensive historical research,


British Broadcasting Corporation incorporated in narration plus
synch. sound

-
Note: In many countries, information concerning the availability of such films m a y be obtained from the
Embassies or Legations of countries where the films originated. Otherwise, a national film library or
archive, m a y provide information.

NUIT ET BROUILLARD Alain Re snais

LE POULET Claude Berry

A VALPARAISO Joris Ivens, commentaire: Chris Marker

L 'HARICOT Edmond Sechan

LA C A S A DELLE VEDONE Vittorio Baldi

LEINVENTIONDU MONDE Commentaire: Benjamin Perret

ECCE HOMO Main Saury

HENRI MICHAUX OU Jacques Veinat


L'ESPACE DU D E D A N S

40
APPENDIX VII

TWO S T O R Y - B O A R D OUTLINES (EXCERPTS). S I M P L E LINE-DRAWINGS


IN CARTOON S T Y L E IN PLACE OF WRITTEN OUTLINES

I
Simple sketches for a preliminary outline or rough
treatment, of a proposed animation film (short film-
clip on the subject of Smoking and Lung Cancer),

I1
Simple sketches for one sequence of an experimental
film (New York University).
Sketches can indicate size of field, composition within
the frame, and to some extent the movement desired
within each scene. Ideally the story-board can visua-
lize every scene (i.e. every camera set-up) in the
proposed film.

41
6

42
43
44
45
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