WILDE AT

HEART
By
Jon Boustead
Toll Free: (800) 950-7529
Phone: (319) 368-8008
Fax: (319) 368-8011

Heuer Publishing
PO Box 248
Cedar Rapids, IA 52406

customerservice@heuerpub.com
editor@heuerpub.com

FREE PERUSAL DOWNLOADS WEEKLY

www.heuerpub.com
 WILDE AT HEART
ADAPTED FROM OSCAR WILDE’S THE STAR-CHILD
By Jon Boustead
Copyright © MMXVI by Jon Boustead, All Rights Reserved
ISBN: 978-1-61588-387-5

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that this Work is subject to a royalty.
This Work is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and all
countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, whether through
bilateral or multilateral treaties or otherwise, and including, but not limited to, all countries
covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention and
the Berne Convention.

rm fo l
RIGHTS RESERVED: All rights to this Work are strictly reserved, including professional and
rfo ot sa
amateur stage performance rights. Also reserved are: motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public
reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all forms of mechanical or
electronic reproduction, such as CD-ROM, CD-I, DVD, information and storage retrieval systems

ce
and photocopying, and the rights of translation into non-English languages.
r
pe N ru

PERFORMANCE RIGHTS AND ROYALTY PAYMENTS: All amateur and stock

performance rights to this Work are controlled exclusively by Heuer Publishing LLC. No amateur
an
or stock production groups or individuals may perform this play without securing license and
Pe

royalty arrangements in advance from Heuer Publishing LLC. Questions concerning other rights
should be addressed to Heuer Publishing LLC. Royalty fees are subject to change without notice.
Professional and stock fees will be set upon application in accordance with your producing
circumstances. Any licensing requests and inquiries relating to amateur and stock (professional)
performance rights should be addressed to Heuer Publishing LLC.

Royalty of the required amount must be paid, whether the play is presented for charity or profit
and whether or not admission is charged.

AUTHOR CREDIT: All groups or individuals receiving permission to produce this Work must
give the author(s) credit in any and all advertisement and publicity relating to the production of
this Work. The author’s billing must appear directly below the title on a separate line where no
other written matter appears. The name of the author(s) must be at least 50% as large as the title
of the Work. No person or entity may receive larger or more prominent credit than that which is
given to the author(s).

PUBLISHER CREDIT: Whenever this Work is produced, all programs, advertisements, flyers
or other printed material must include the following notice: Produced by special arrangement
with Heuer Publishing LLC.

COPYING: Any unauthorized copying of this Work or excerpts from this Work is strictly
forbidden by law. No part of this Work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form, by any means now known or yet to be invented, including photocopying
or scanning, without prior permission from Heuer Publishing LLC.

HEUER PUBLISHING LLC

P.O. BOX 248 • CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA 52406
TOLL FREE (800) 950-7529 • FAX (319) 368-8011
2 WILDE AT HEART

WILDE AT HEART
ADAPTED FROM OSCAR WILDE’S THE STAR-CHILD
By Jon Boustead

SYNOPSIS: Oscar hates stories, but when he disturbs Once, Upon and A
Time, his world is thrown upside down as he learns about courage, greed and
forgiveness...There is lots of scope for physical theatre and simple staging is
this wonderful adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s The Star-Child.

CAST OF CHARACTERS
(5 females, 8 males, 16-22 either, extras, doubling)

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
OSCAR (f/m) .................................. (49 lines)
ONCE (f/m) .................................... (52 lines)

ce
UPON (f/m) .................................... (32 lines)
r
pe N ru

A TIME (f/m) .................................. (51 lines)

WOODCUTTER 1 (m) ................... (30 lines)
an
WOODCUTTER 2 (m) ................... (22 lines)
Pe

STAR CHILD (f/m) ........................ (88 lines)

WIFE (f) .......................................... (25 lines)

The children of Woodcutter 1 and Wife:

LUCINDA (f) ........................... (2 lines)
CLAUDIA (f) ............................ (1 line)
MATILDA (f) ........................... (6 lines)
GREGORY (m) ......................... (7 lines)
TIMOTHY (m) .......................... (5 lines)
NATHANIEL (m) ..................... (3 lines)
MICHAEL (m) .......................... (2 lines)
SIMEON (m) ............................. (8 lines)

ENTOURAGE 1 (f/m) .................... (6 lines)

ENTOURAGE 2 (f/m) .................... (5 lines)
ENTOURAGE 3 (f/m) .................... (5 lines)
JESTER 1 (f/m)............................... (1 line)
JESTER 2 (f/m)............................... (1 line)
JESTER 3 (f/m)............................... (2 lines)
 JON BOUSTEAD 3

PRIEST (f/m) .................................. (9 lines)

BEGGAR WOMAN/QUEEN (f) .... (8 lines)
LEPER/KING (m) .......................... (13 lines)
TOWNSPERSON 1 (f/m) ............... (5 lines)
TOWNSPERSON 2 (f/m) ............... (5 lines)
TOWNSPERSON 3 (f/m) ............... (4 lines)
TOWNSPERSON 4 (f/m) ............... (3 lines)
EVIL MAGICIAN (f/m) ................. (35 lines)
HARE (f/m) .................................... (16 lines)
BIRD (f/m) ...................................... (7 lines)
MOLE (f/m) .................................... (6 lines)
SQUIRREL (f/m) ............................ (8 lines)

rm fo l
SOLDIER 1 (f/m)............................ (15 lines)
rfo ot sa
SOLDIER 2 (f/m)............................ (8 lines)
STRAWBERRY SELLER (f/m)..... (3 lines)

ce
MEAT SELLER (f/m) .................... (2 lines)
r
pe N ru

FLOWER SELLER (f/m) ............... (3 lines)

BOOZE SELLER (f/m) .................. (3 lines)
an
EXTRAS: Peasants, Minions
Pe

DURATION: 45 minutes

DOUBLING POSSIBILITIES
 The following characters double to create the forest in SCENE 2:
Woodcutter 1’s Wife, Lucinda, Claudia, Matilda, Gregory, Timothy,
Nathaniel, Michael, Simeon.

 There is much scope for doubling to suit a much smaller cast, but
some suggestions would be: CHILDREN / SELLERS,
ENTOURAGE and JESTERS / TOWNSPEOPLE, ENTOURAGE 1
/ BIRD, ENTOURAGE 2 / SQUIRREL, ENTOURAGE 3 / MOLE)

 Lines that are spoken by more than one character (Example: Jesters)
could be absorbed by one actor.

 Beggar Woman must double as Queen. Leper must double as King.

4 WILDE AT HEART

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES

SCENE 1: Bare stage with a pile of books

SCENE 2: Forest that segues to Woodcutter 1’s home
SCENE 3: Bare stage
SCENE 4: A city
SCENE 5: A different city
SCENE 6: Forest
SCENE 7: Inside the Magician's dungeon which segues back into the
forest
SCENE 8: Inside the Magician's dungeon which segues back into the
forest

rm fo l
SCENE 9: Bare stage
rfo ot sa
COSTUME SUGGESTIONS

ce
r
pe N ru

The items noted below are simply suggestions. It would be possible to produce
this piece with simple costumes. For example, the main characters could wear
an
all black and have a signifying prop or costume accessory, such as an apron,
Pe

a scarf, soldier hat, etc.

 Oscar in pajamas
 Woodcutter 1’s Wife wears an apron
 Starchild wears a star necklace or similar

SET SUGGESTIONS

In the orignal production, the set consisted of fairy lights, piles of books and
two ladders, which acted as levels. With much of the transitions requiring a
fluidity, the suggestion would be to make use of signage and physical theatre
to signify the locations.

MUSIC SUGGESTIONS

This could make a terrific project for a competent composer in the cast to
create some music for the production. Otherwise, thematically relevant
instrumental pieces could be sourced.
 JON BOUSTEAD 5

PROPS LIST

SCENE 1
□ Piles of books (these remain on stage throughout the play becoming
props later in the play) Preset on stage.
□ Three pieces of paper that read BED, TIME and STORY. Preset on
stage.

SCENE 2
□ Sign reading, YOU ARE RIGHT HERE (brought on by cast
building the forest)
□ Starry blanket wrapped up to look like a baby is inside (brought on

rm fo l
by cast building the forest)
rfo ot sa
□ Toy car (rolled on by available cast member), or remote controlled
car driven on by an actor

ce
□ Mixing bowl, socks, a pair of socks with holes, undies, and toys
r
pe N ru

(Brought on by WIFE)
□ Wooden spoon puppet (brought on by Simeon)
an
□ Dirty undies (thrown on by Gregory, Timothy and Nathaniel)
Pe

□ Star Child (baby doll) in blanket (brought on by Woodcutter 1)

SCENE 3
□ Starry blanket (remaining on stage after Scene 2)
□ Torn bits of paper (remaining on stage after Scene 1)
□ Bible (brought on by Priest)
□ Damp cloth
□ Jester’s hat
□ Grapes and a drink (brought on by Woodcutter 1 and Wife)

SCENE 4
□ Disfigured mask (brought on by Once, Upon and A Time)

SCENE 5
□ Basket of strawberries (brought on by Strawberry Seller)
□ Basket of meat (brought on by Meat Seller)
□ Bottles of booze (brought on by Booze Seller)
□ Bottle of wine (brought on by a Minion)
6 WILDE AT HEART

SCENE 6
□ Whip (brought on by Magician, or could be mimed)
□ Bread and water (brought on by Minion/s)

SCENE 7
□ Broken sunglasses and a broken stick (brought on by Mole)
□ White gold and yellow gold (placed by the cast members involved
in their hiding places – Example: cave and pool of water)

SCENE 8
□ Red gold (brought on by the cast members involved in its hiding
place, which is a bush)

rm fo l
□ Crowns and royal robes (brought on by cast members involved in
rfo ot sa
the transformation of Beggar Woman and Leper)
□ “The Star Child” book (brought on by Once, Upon and A Time).

ce
This could be handmade for the production
r
pe N ru

AUTHOR’S NOTE
an
Pe

This show is best performed with a large cast of physical performers.

DEDICATION

To Briony – brilliant and beautiful in every way imaginable.

And to Riding Lights and York Minster School, where this
adaptation first began…
 JON BOUSTEAD 7

SCENE 1

AT RISE: ONCE, UPON, A TIME and OSCAR are on stage. OSCAR

is in a sulk, surrounded by books and completely unaware of the other
three, who are watching him nervously. As the audience filters in,
OSCAR becomes more agitated at the various books that he picks up
to read. ONCE, UPON and A TIME occasionally try to interrupt but
never quite find the right moment. When the audience is seated,
ONCE begins to read over OSCAR’S shoulder, following him around
as he paces the stage.

ONCE: Once upon a time, two poor Woodcutters were making their

rm fo l
way home through a great pine forest.
rfo ot sa
A TIME: Not having any of it, is he?
UPON: No, not one bit of it.

ce
A TIME: Looks like his mind is made up.
r
pe N ru

UPON: Absolutely. Never seen a more made up mind.

ONCE: Well you could both help!
an
Pe

UPON and A TIME join in with the same speech, but the lines should
overlap each other, so that it becomes confusing. This should happen
quickly, and as it does, OSCAR becomes even more frustrated.

ONCE: Once upon a time, two poor Woodcutters were making their
way home through a great pine forest. // It was winter, and a night
of bitter cold. The snow lay thick upon the ground, and upon the
branches of the trees: the frost kept snapping the little twigs on
either side of them, as they passed.
UPON: (Beginning after “…through a great pine forest.”) Once upon a
time, two poor Woodcutters were making their way home through a
great pine forest. It was winter, and a night of bitter cold. // The snow
lay thick upon the ground, and upon the branches of the trees: the
frost kept snapping the little twigs on either side of them, as they
passed.
8 WILDE AT HEART

A TIME: (Beginning after “…a night of bitter cold.”) Once upon a time,
two poor Woodcutters were making their way home through a great
pine forest. It was winter, and a night of bitter cold. The snow lay
thick upon the ground, and upon the branches of the trees: the frost
kept snapping the little twigs on either side of them, as they passed.
OSCAR: (Shouting in frustration.) Argh! Stupid books!

ONCE, UPON and A TIME gasp.

OSCAR: Don’t want to write or read anyway. (Calling off stage.)

WON'T DO ME ANY GOOD!

rm fo l
OSCAR picks up a book and throws it on the floor.
rfo ot sa
OSCAR: I HATE STORIES! I hate them, I hate them, I HATE THEM!

ce
r
pe N ru

OSCAR starts to tear pages and kick the books. Each torn page has
an effect on ONCE, UPON and A TIME.
an
Pe

ONCE: Somebody stop him!

OSCAR: Stupid words, on stupid pages, in STUPID BOOKS!

There is much panic, and much commotion. ONCE can hardly move,
whilst A TIME and UPON are frantically looking for certain words to
display (In the original production, they were pegged to a washing line
against the back wall throughout the show. They find the words ‘bed’
and ‘time’, but there is one more missing.)

OSCAR: I hate this one! I hate that one! I hate them ALL! All books
should be banned or burned or, or, or turned into something useful
like, like, oh, anything but books!

A TIME finds the word ‘story’ and holds it up.

A TIME: ‘Story!’ Ound fit!

UPON: Ound fit?
 JON BOUSTEAD 9

A TIME displays the final word, so the display now reads ‘Bed Time
Story’. ONCE, UPON and A TIME then start slamming some of the
books shut. Each slam makes OSCAR more tired, and he soon falls
asleep, on top of the paper and books.

ONCE: Dell wone a dime. Dell wone.

UPON: Mmm, jood gob.
A TIME: Stedtime Bory. Mait a winute...ghat's owing won...? (Gasp.)
Me’s hixed us all up!
ONCE: The write letch, dow hare he?!
UPON: Pon't danic. Pon't danic. Fe'll wix it. Wust dalm cown.
ONCE: Pon't danic!? Dalm cown!? I'll dalm cown you min a winute!

rm fo l
Lasty brittle nat! I'll peg him up by his shoxer-borts and wive him a
rfo ot sa
gedgie!

ce
ONCE gets ready to pounce on OSCAR, but UPON restrains him.
r
pe N ru

UPON and ONCE then end up in a little scrap of their own.

an
A TIME: Wop! Stait!
Pe

They stop and watch A TIME, who starts to pick up some of the pages
and rearranges them in some sort of correct order.

A TIME: Try that.

ONCE: Testing. One, two, my name is Once.
UPON: My name is Upon.
A TIME: And I’m A Time.
ONCE, UPON and A TIME: (Together.) We’re fixed!

They all celebrate, but it dies down quickly.

A TIME: Well that's one way to mix things up a bit.

ONCE: Stubborn little brat. I should teach him a lesson.
UPON: What are you going to do?
ONCE: The boy needs to learn.
UPON: He doesn't want to. You can't force him.
ONCE: I can try.
A TIME: No you can’t. We can't interfere.
10 WILDE AT HEART

OSCAR begins to snore quietly. They go over to him.

UPON: He looks quite tolerable when he's asleep. Like he wouldn't

hurt a fly.
ONCE: Pft.
A TIME: Awwww. He's quite sweet, actually. Look, Once.

ONCE is reluctant.

A TIME: Come on, look. (Pause.) What’s the matter? Are you scared?
(UPON snickers.)

rm fo l
UPON: Come on, he won't bite. (ONCE leans over OSCAR.) See.
rfo ot sa
(Short pause.)
A TIME: Bah!

ce
ONCE: Argh! r
pe N ru

A TIME: Ha, ha! Scared you.

ONCE: Did not.
an
A TIME: Did too.
Pe

ONCE: Did not!

A TIME: Did too! Scaredy cat, scaredy cat, sitting on the doormat.
ONCE: What does that even mean?
A TIME: It means I win and you lose. And you peed your pants. Ha-
ha!

OSCAR looks at his trousers.

OSCAR: No I didn’t.
A TIME: Ah-ha! Made you look!

A TIME and UPON high-five each other. OSCAR wakes us. ONCE,
UPON and A TIME are now facing away from him. ONCE is continuing
to defend himself against the taunts of A TIME and UPON.

OSCAR: Who are you?

ONCE, UPON and A TIME shriek. Pause.

 JON BOUSTEAD 11

ONCE: What did he say?

A TIME: (Whispering.) Who. Are. You?
ONCE: I thought so.
UPON: (Whispering.) Can he see us?
A TIME: Not sure. Stay verrrry still. (Pause.)
OSCAR: What are you doing?
A TIME: (As best as possible, without moving his lips.) Who are you
talking to? There is nobody here.
OSCAR: Yes there is. You.
A TIME: You see nothing.
OSCAR: I’m not stupid.
UPON: (Covering his eyes.) He can't see us, if we can't see him.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
Pause. ONCE slaps UPON on the back of the head.

ce
ONCE: Stop being an idiot, he can see us!
r
pe N ru

OSCAR: Who are you?

ONCE: Who are we? Who are we, he says!?
an
A TIME: (Like an adult, warning a small child.) Once…
Pe

ONCE: We're the Once Upon a Time you just tried to destroy!
A TIME: Once, dalm cown. I mean calm down.
OSCAR: The what? No I didn't.
ONCE: (Gasps.) Yes you did!

ONCE looks to the others for support.

UPON: Mmmm, he’s right, you did.

A TIME: Yeah, that wasn’t very nice.
OSCAR: But I––
ONCE: (Interrupting.) You did, and don’t try to deny it! You said you
hated us.
OSCAR: What?
UPON: You did, you did say that.
ONCE: And you tore us all up. A Time had to put us back together.
UPON: It’s true, he did.
A TIME: (Waving at OSCAR.) Hello.
ONCE: What have you got to say for yourself?
OSCAR: Well I…I…
12 WILDE AT HEART

ONCE: Huh?
OSCAR: I…

Short pause. OSCAR starts crying.

ONCE: Oh here we go.

A TIME: Shh, don't cry mate. It's OK. (To ONCE.) Look what you've
done.
ONCE: Me? You're the one who started slamming books, and saying
STEDTIME BORY!
A TIME: Well I didn't think this would happen, did I?
ONCE: Exactly! You didn't think. That's the problem!

rm fo l
UPON: Guys, come on. Crying boy here.
rfo ot sa
A TIME: (To OSCAR, calming him.) Shh...There, there. It's OK. It's
OK. Calm down, please. Please? See. We're nice, aren't we, Once?

ce
ONCE: (Muttering under his breath.) Speak for yourself.
r
pe N ru

A TIME: Once!
ONCE: YES! (Calming down.) I mean... yes.
an
Pe

ONCE, UPON and A TIME sit beside OSCAR. Awkward pause.

A TIME: So, what's your name?

ONCE: What’s your problem?
A TIME: Once.
ONCE: Sorry.
OSCAR: It’s Oscar. And I don’t have a problem, actually. I was just
getting frustrated. Nothing was making sense.
A TIME: I see.
OSCAR: It’s all mush in my head.
A TIME: Well we can help you with that. Can’t we?
OSCAR: You can?
ONCE: (Sarcastically.) Course we can.
UPON: We’re Once Upon A Time.
A TIME: Where anything can happen.
OSCAR: Anything?
UPON: Anything and everything.
OSCAR: Wow.
ONCE: Or nothing, of course. But that’s boring.
 JON BOUSTEAD 13

A TIME: Should we share it with you?

OSCAR: Yes, please.
A TIME: Once? If you would do the honors.

ONCE clears his throat. The rest of the cast enters, creating the
scene. The forest.

ONCE: Once upon a time, when anything could happen. A silent star
fell down from the sky.
UPON: The night was black, and the wind was cold.
A TIME: Ice cold, yes, and two poor Woodcutters were on their way
home.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
SCENE 2

ce
r
pe N ru

AT START: TWO WOODCUTTERS are carrying large piles of wood.

They are struggling, tired and cold. The rest of the cast, where
an
available, create the soundscape and imagery of the forest: Wind
Pe

through the trees, owls hooting, etc.

WOODCUTTER 2: We're lost, aren't we?

WOODCUTTER 1: We are not lost, we’re right here.
WOODCUTTER 2: Where?
WOODCUTTER 1: Right here, see.

WOODCUTTER 1 points to a sign, which reads, “YOU ARE RIGHT

HERE.”

WOODCUTTER 2: That doesn’t tell me where I am.

WOODCUTTER 1: Of course it does. It says ‘you are right here’. So
it’s telling you, you are here. Right here.
WOODCUTTER 2: How about directions? How about the way out?
How about what this place is actually called?
WOODCUTTER 1: Well I don't know the name of it, do I? I don't know
everything about the woods.
WOODCUTTER 2: (Muttering under breath.) Or anything about the
woods.
14 WILDE AT HEART

WOODCUTTER 1: Pardon?
WOODCUTTER 2: I knew I shouldn’t have come. Should have
listened to my wife, should have listened to my kids, but ooooh no,
I had to come, didn’t I? And now we’re lost in the middle of nowhere!
WOODCUTTER 1: We are not lost, and we are not in the middle of
nowhere.
WOODCUTTER 2: (Sarcastically.) Oh, are we not?
WOODCUTTER 1: No.
WOODCUTTER 2: So where are we then?
WOODCUTTER 1: Well it’s got to be somewhere, hasn’t it? It can’t be
nowhere, can it? And who says it’s the middle? It could be the edge,
it could be off-center, it could be anywhere. Nowhere can't really

rm fo l
exist. But somewhere... for us, the SOME is the forest, and the
rfo ot sa
WHERE is the... er... well the er... right here.
WOODCUTTER 2: That’s great. Really great. Fantastic. What

ce
unbelievably USELESS INFORMATION! I have never heard such
r
pe N ru

a ridiculous thing in all my life...

an
A soft cry can be heard in the distance.
Pe

WOODCUTTER 1: Shh. What’s that?

WOODCUTTER 2: What’s what? I don’t hear anything.
WOODCUTTER 1: Listen! It sounds like... crying.

WOODCUTTER 1 wanders into the woods, towards the crying.

WOODCUTTER 2: Great, and now you’re––yep. Now you’re

wandering off into the dark. Wonderful. I hope you get lost!

The wind noises get louder. And more cracks are heard.

WOODCUTTER 2: Argh OK. OK. OK, I’m coming. Wait! WAIT!

He runs and joins WOODCUTTER 1.

WOODCUTTER 2: I hate you sometimes, you know.

WOODCUTTER 1: I know. Shh.
WOODCUTTER 2: Don’t shush me. My life is at risk.
 JON BOUSTEAD 15

They continue through the forest. WOODCUTTER 2 grumbles under

his breath. After a while, they come across a sleeping baby, wrapped
in a starry blanket. There is also a star necklace around the baby's
neck.

WOODCUTTER 1: Could it be?

WOODCUTTER 2: What? Could it be what? Careful.

WOODCUTTER 1 goes for a closer look.

WOODCUTTER 1: It is. A Star Child.

rm fo l
WOODCUTTER 2: A what now?
rfo ot sa
WOODCUTTER 1: A Star Child. Poor thing. Look at him.

ce
WOODCUTTER 1 goes to pick up the baby.
r
pe N ru

WOODCUTTER 2: What are you doing? Don’t touch it. It could be a

an
trick. It could be contaminated.
Pe

WOODCUTTER 1: Don’t be silly. Look at him. (Picking him up and

speaking in baby talk) Awww. Wuk at the wittle fing. Hello. Hello...

Pause.

WOODCUTTER 2: (Not too seriously.) I hate you right now.

WOODCUTTER 1: He’s so teeny tiny.
WOODCUTTER 2: Put it back, we’re going.
WOODCUTTER 1: We can’t leave him.
WOODCUTTER 2: We can't, but I can. I've already got an extra mouth
to feed.
WOODCUTTER 1: Put her on a diet. She'll thank you for it.
WOODCUTTER 2: I was talking about the baby.
WOODCUTTER 1: I see. I know, I was... joking.
WOODCUTTER 2: That’s it! I’ve had it. I’ve had it up to here with your
idiotic, imbecilic ways. You lead me to what may very well have
been my death, you insult me and my family, and to be frank, I would
rather eat my own face than spend any more time around you! Good
night!
16 WILDE AT HEART

WOODCUTTER 2 storms off, attempting to do so in a dramatic fashion,

but the branches and thistles make this increasingly difficult.
WOODCUTTER 1 watches him until he's gone. The STAR CHILD
cries.

WOODCUTTER 1: Shh. There, there, little one. I’ll look after you.

WOODCUTTER 1 exits with the baby. ONCE, UPON, A TIME and

OSCAR enter through the forest.

A TIME: Dear Woodcutter. He has a heart of gold.

rm fo l
UPON: Ouch.
rfo ot sa
ONCE: Not literally you idiot.
OSCAR: Where’s he taking him?

ce
A TIME: Back home, to meet his family.
r
pe N ru

ONCE: (As if remembering.) Oh yes! We should move.

OSCAR: Why?
an
Pe

A toy car is rolled on from off stage. There is a pause. Suddenly, the
cast of the forest becomes a herd of noisy children: LUCINDA,
CLAUDIA, MATILDA, GREGORY, TIMOTHY, NATHANIEL, MICHAEL
and SIMEON, and one becomes the WOODCUTTER’S WIFE (known
throughout the script as “Wife”). ONCE, UPON, A TIME and OSCAR
quickly dodge through the commotion and watch from the side.
WOODCUTTER’S WIFE enters wearing an apron and carrying a
mixing bowl, and various items that belong to the children: Socks,
undies, a couple of toys, and a ball. The house and those in it should
look poor, any toys or games they are playing are make-shift, and the
clothes, hand-me-downs.

WIFE: Lucinda? Lucinda? Where is Lucinda?

LUCINDA comes running up to WIFE.

LUCINDA: Yes?
WIFE: Clean socks, darling. Put them on please.
 JON BOUSTEAD 17

LUCINDA pulls them on. They’ve got holes.

LUCINDA: They’ve got holes.

CLAUDIA: Holy socks! Holy socks!
MATILDA: All hail Saint Lucinda!

The GIRLS mock-bow before LUCINDA who enjoys the moment and
laughs with them. The girls run off. WIFE steps on the toy car.

WIFE: OUCH! Gregory, Timothy, Nathaniel!

GREGORY, TIMOTHY and NATHANIEL circle around WIFE like

rm fo l
airplanes. They have some toys which they drop as bombs.
rfo ot sa
GREGORY: Take that!

ce
WIFE: Pick up your mess, boys, please.
r
pe N ru

The boys make fighter jet noises.

an
Pe

TIMOTHY: Lock on target!

The boys continue to make fighter jet noises and shoot playfully at each
other, around WIFE. SIMEON runs on carrying a spoon puppet he’s
made.

SIMEON: Mummy, mummy, look!

WIFE: (To GREGORY, TIMOTHY AND NATHANIEL.) And tidy up
your room. It's a pigsty.
GREGORY, TIMOTHY and NATHANIEL: (Together.) We like
pigsties, oink oink OINK!
WIFE: Boys, I’m warning you!
GREGORY: Haha! OINK, OINK!
SIMEON: Mummy, mummy!
WIFE: Now, please.
SIMEON: Mum!
WIFE: Yes, darling?
SIMEON: (Holding out the spoon puppet.) Look what I made.
WIFE: (Not really looking.) Very nice dear.
18 WILDE AT HEART

NATHAN: Simeon's a pig too!

SIMEON: No I'm not.
GREGORY, TIMOTHY and NATHANIEL: (Together.) Pig, pig, pig!
Ha-ha!
WIFE: Boys just DO AS YOU’RE TOLD!
SIMEON: Mum, they called me a pig.
WIFE: (A quick look.) Very nice dear. BOYS!

Fighter jet noises created by the boys. They collect the toys, including
the one WIFE was carrying, and they run off.

WIFE: Oh and Nathaniel!

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
NATHANIEL comes flying back, and WIFE holds out a pair of
underpants.

ce
r
pe N ru

WIFE: Clean ones on, please.

an
NATHANIEL grabs them and runs off stage. As soon as he leaves we
Pe

hear "Ready, aim... FIRE!" from off stage, and three pairs of dirty
undies are thrown at WIFE who puts them in her apron with a sigh.
MICHAEL runs past.

WIFE: Michael.
MICHAEL: Yes?
WIFE: Ball.
MICHAEL: Yes!

MICHAEL takes the ball and runs off with it. SIMEON sits down in a
sulk. WIFE notices.

WIFE: Simeon?

SIMEON slams the spoon onto the floor. Pause.

WIFE: (Sigh.) I’m sorry, sweetheart. Let's have a look then.

WIFE sits beside SIMEON and he hands her the spoon puppet.
 JON BOUSTEAD 19

WIFE: Well look at that.

SIMEON: (Admiring it.) It is pretty awesome.
WIFE: It's beautiful darling.
SIMEON: Beautiful!? ERGH!

He throws it away and runs off. WOODCUTTER 1 enters, carrying the

baby.

WIFE: You're home!

All the children run up to WOODCUTTER shouting ‘Daddy!’ They all

rm fo l
run on and surround the WOODCUTTER. There is much excitement
rfo ot sa
at the sight of the baby, but the noise soon gets quiet.

ce
WOODCUTTER 1: Shhh... (To Wife.) I found him asleep in the forest.
r
pe N ru

NATHANIEL: Ooh like Tarzan!

GREGORY: Haha!
an
Pe

GREGORY does a Tarzan impression.

TIMOTHY: No, like this!

TIMOTHY does a Tarzan impression.

GREGORY: That was rubbish!

TIMOTHY: Was not!

The boys start arguing and WOODCUTTER shushes them. WIFE

looks very concerned.

WOODCUTTER 1: He’s a Star Child.

They gasp in amazement. Some of them whisper: “A Star Child?”

“What’s a Star Child?” “Oooh, sounds magical,” etc.

MATILDA: Can we keep him Mummy, can we?

GREGORY: We’ll be rich and famous!
20 WILDE AT HEART

CHILDREN: Yay!
WOODCUTTER 1: Children, please. Go and get ready for bed, I need
to talk to your mother.

They run off. WOODCUTTER and WIFE come together.

WOODCUTTER 1: I couldn’t leave him.

WIFE: Of course not. But can we really...

WOODCUTTER 1 hands the baby to WIFE. She smiles and cradles

it. He puts his arm around his wife.

rm fo l
WOODCUTTER 1: We can do it. We can. We can love him as one of
rfo ot sa
our own.

ce
They make a make-shift cot and lay the baby in it. The cast gathers
r
pe N ru

round and sings a lullaby, quietly.

an
ONCE: And they did. All through his childhood, they loved him like one
Pe

of their own.
OSCAR: Then what happened?

The baby is taken off. Lights fade.

SCENE 3

AT RISE: ONCE, UPON and A TIME are on stage with OSCAR and
PEASANTS.

UPON: The Star Child grew and the years were kind, for the child
became a figure refined.

There is music and the following speech is spoken over a physical

theatre piece, devised by the cast. The lines may be sung to an original
composition, spoken in sync, or split between the cast. The starry
blanket ends up being a cloak, and once the cloak is put on the STAR
CHILD, he becomes a figure of beauty. The PEASANTS and
ENTOURAGE surround the STAR CHILD in adoration.
 JON BOUSTEAD 21

ALL CAST: A melody, tuned to your hair in the breeze,

Your lips are red as rose,
A voice so strong, and carried with ease,
Of your beauty, everyone knows.
With eyes a blue as heavenly skies,
You are glorious, an idol adored.
We look and we seek, with wearying eyes,
To make you our prince, our ruler, our lord.
A TIME: But from the humble home, in which he was raised, the Star
Child sought to escape.
UPON: Bewitched by his beauty, and the flattery of others, he grew to

rm fo l
resent those that had loved him.
rfo ot sa
OSCAR: Wow! He’s… he’s... beautiful.

ce
The STAR CHILD exits with the crowd following. OSCAR is drawn into
r
pe N ru

the crowd, but ONCE, UPON and A TIME pull him back.
an
OSCAR: Get off me, get off! Let me go with him!
Pe

A TIME: It’s magic, Oscar. Of the cruelest sort.

UPON: Beauty bewitches, and leaves many behind.
OSCAR: What do you mean?
A TIME: He grew proud, and cruel, and selfish.
ONCE: Even to the one’s that raised him.

STAR CHILD re-enters with ENTOURAGE 1, ENTOURAGE 2,

ENTOURAGE 3, all JESTERS and a small crowd of PEASANTS.

STAR CHILD: Hands off me, peasants. Lucinda!

LUCINDA runs on with a damp cloth and wipes STAR CHILD’S hands.
GREGORY, TIMOTHY and NATHANIEL enter, but they are far less
playful than they were before.

STAR CHILD: (About his adoptive siblings.) How was I left with filth
like them?

The ENTOURAGE laughs.

22 WILDE AT HEART

STAR CHILD: Come. Let us go to the water, I wish to gaze upon

myself.

The pond is created by the PEASANTS or other available cast

members. STAR CHILD looks in and admires his image. The pond
speaks to him with flattering ‘oooh’s’ and ‘ahhh’s’.

ENTOURAGE 1: You are magnificent, sir.

ENTOURAGE 2: Even the water ripples in agreement.
ENTOURAGE 3: Majesty at its finest.

rm fo l
The ENTOURAGE and PEASANTS applaud.
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: Now I must rest. Make me a chair.

ce
r
pe N ru

The ENTOURAGE and JESTERS form a chair, in which he sits. STAR

CHILD points to the people making the chair.
an
Pe

STAR CHILD: Someone funny tell me a joke. Jester!

The people making the chair discuss and pull out a jester’s hat.
JESTER 1 takes it and steps out.

JESTER 1: Er... knock, knock...

STAR CHILD: Ergh, I hate knock-knocks. Something else.

The jester hat is passed on to JESTER 2.

JESTER 2: An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man...

STAR CHILD: Hate those too. Last one, and it better be good!

JESTER 3 jumps out and snatches the hat.

JESTER 3: Oh, Oh! A man walks into a bar…

JESTER 3 pretends to collide with an iron bar.

 JON BOUSTEAD 23

JESTER 3: OW!

They all laugh.

STAR CHILD: And now for some music.

STAR CHILD claps his hands and a choral piece is sung quietly by the
the ENTOURAGE and JESTERS and PEASANTS.

STAR CHILD: Ahhh. Now I am happy. Drink!

WOODCUTTER 1 enters with a bad back, and drink in hand. Gives

rm fo l
drink to STAR CHILD.
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: Grapes!

ce
r
pe N ru

WIFE enters with a bunch of grapes for him to eat.

an
OSCAR: But wait, isn’t that his family? His mum and dad?
Pe

ONCE, UPON and A TIME nod solemnly.

OSCAR: Well, that boy is horrid! They ought to do something. They

ought to tell him.
ONCE: They tried to.
WOODCUTTER 1: Son, why can't you love as we have loved you?
WIFE: Were we ever so harsh and so cruel?
STAR CHILD: You brought me up in a barn, fit for nothing but pigs! I
belong in a castle, fit for a king!

WIFE and WOODCUTTER 1 exit. PRIEST enters with a Bible.

STAR CHILD: Ah, Vicar! What thrilling sermon have you for me today?
Is it of forgiveness or kindness? They are so overdone, don’t you
think?
PRIEST: It is the latter, my boy.
STAR CHILD: How riveting.Very well, speak.
24 WILDE AT HEART

PRIEST: (Clearing his throat, he opens the Bible.) Do unto others as

you would have done unto yourself.

STAR CHILD yawns. A member of the cast within the chair makes a
buzzing sound to give the impression of a fly. STAR CHILD starts
swatting.

PRIEST: The fly is your brother. Do it no harm.

STAR CHILD kills the fly with a clap. He laughs.

PRIEST: Love the living things of the earth. Snare not the birds for

rm fo l
your pleasure, for God made the blind-worm and the mole, and
rfo ot sa
each has its place.

ce
STAR CHILD becomes uncomfortable. It's something in the chair. He
r
pe N ru

slaps one member of the ensemble.

an
STAR CHILD: SIT STILL!
Pe

PRIEST: Who are you to bring pain into God's world?

STAR CHILD: I said SIT STILL!

The STAR CHILD smacks someone else on the head, and turns to the
PRIEST who does not look impressed.

STAR CHILD: What? It was annoying me. Now, if you wouldn't mind.
PRIEST: But I haven’t finished.
STAR CHILD: Well then you can prepare for next time. Off you go.

STAR CHILD waves the PRIEST to leave, then stretches as he gets

up.

STAR CHILD: Who’s up for a game?

The cast gets excited.

STAR CHILD: The greatest compliment wins!

 JON BOUSTEAD 25

Some flock to the STAR CHILD, but others step back.

STAR CHILD: Go.

The cast smothers him with a series of compliments. STAR CHILD

enjoys it.

STAR CHILD: (Pointing at some of those who came to him.) You, you,
you, you, you and you... join me in mocking everything we see.
(Pointing at his adoptive brothers and sisters.) Starting with them.

Using the paper from the beginning of the show, the torn pages of

rm fo l
books, etc., the STAR CHILD and his ENTOURAGE scrunch bits up
rfo ot sa
and hurl them as stones at the others.

ce
OSCAR: But they were his family. How could he do that?
r
pe N ru

UPON: Family or not, to him they were, well, beneath him.

an
WOODCUTTER 1 and WIFE are heard shouting offstage.
Pe

ONCE: And it gets worse.

WOODCUTTER 1 and WIFE run on stage with a blind BEGGAR

WOMAN.

OSCAR: Who’s that?

A TIME: Shh. Watch.
BEGGAR: Where is he? Where is he, where is my son?
WOODCUTTER 1: Wait here, we’ll fetch him.

The BEGGAR waits as WIFE and WOODCUTTER 1 fetch the STAR

CHILD.

WOODCUTTER 1: Son. You’ll never believe it.

STAR CHILD: What do you want?
WOODCUTTER 1 and WIFE: We have found your mother!

Pause. Everybody stops what they’re doing.

26 WILDE AT HEART

STAR CHILD: What?

WOODCUTTER 1: You’re mother. She lost you when you fell from the
stars.
WIFE: She’s been looking for you all this time!

STAR CHILD expresses excitement and pushes through the crowd.

He sees the BEGGAR.

STAR CHILD: Where is she?

BEGGAR: Son.

Pause.
rm fo l
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: Is this some kind of joke?

ce
BEGGAR: It is no joke, my boy. My precious boy. I have found you
r
pe N ru

at last!
an
She reaches for the STAR CHILD who flings her to the floor.
Pe

WIFE: Son, please no!

WIFE runs to comfort the BEGGAR.

STAR CHILD: You bring this filthy beggar here, and you dare to call
me her son? Look at me, and look at her! Has the whole world gone
mad? (To ENTOURAGE.) This dog, is meant to be my mother?
Away dogs!

Again, they kick and throw paper as stones. Barking and laughing as
they do. WOODCUTTER 1, WIFE and BEGGAR exit.

STAR CHILD: Come, let us rest in the shade. I don’t want to burn.

Lights fade.
 JON BOUSTEAD 27

SCENE 4

AT RISE: Lights up. The STAR CHILD and ENTOURAGE are resting.
There is music and the following speech is spoken over a physical
piece, during which the STAR CHILD becomes grotesque. This is
achieved by placing a disfigured mask on him, brought on by ONCE,
UPON and A TIME.

ONCE: The Star Child, and his heart grew cold, for he’d failed to grasp
the magic of old.
UPON: That beauty and cruelty, when heavily set, mar the appearance
with lasting effect...

rm fo l
A TIME: This, the child, had come to forget.
rfo ot sa
Through physical theatre, the STAR CHILD is lifted and manipulated

ce
by the ENTOURAGE and PEASANTS (or other available cast
r
pe N ru

members). One of them is handed the mask.

an
OSCAR: What’s happening?
Pe

ONCE: His face was distorted. His features contorted.

A TIME: The boy had lost his crown. Unable to see, what he’d come
to be.
UPON: From up, he soon came down.

STAR CHILD is placed back on the ground, and slowly begins to

awake, along with his entourage. The ENTOURAGE lines can be split
up or spoken in sync, but should be done so with a certain rhythm.

STAR CHILD: (Waking up and stretching.) Ah, now I am rested.

ENTOURAGE shriek.

ENTOURAGE 1: What happened, who are you?

STAR CHILD: What do you mean?
ENTOURAGE 1: Disgusting!
ENTOURAGE 2: Revolting!
ENTOURAGE 3: Completely obscene.
STAR CHILD: My friends, it’s me. I don’t understand.
28 WILDE AT HEART

ENTOURAGE 1, ENTOURAGE 2 and ENTOURAGE 3: Never has so

foul a thing, been granted life on land!
ENTOURAGE 1: His breath, it smells of rotten eggs.
ENTOURAGE 2: And his face is the skin of a fish. He's covered in
scales!
ENTOURAGE 1: His hair looks like tails!
ENTOURAGE 3: He stinks.
ENTOURAGE 2: He reeks!
ENTOURAGE 3: It’s making me sick!

ENTOURAGE 3 turns and vomits. Some of the cast remakes the pond
as before, but this time when STAR CHILD looks in it, the faces are

rm fo l
grotesque and growling, or shrieking in horror. PRIEST enters and
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD backs into him.

ce
PRIEST: Watch where you’re going, son.
r
pe N ru

STAR CHILD turns to face him.

an
Pe

PRIEST: (Holding up his cross.) Argh! Away! Out, I say.

STAR CHILD: No, you don’t understand, it’s me.
PRIEST: You have no business here. Get out. Be gone!
ALL: THROW HIM OUT! THROW HIM OUT!

They run towards STAR CHILD who tries to fight his way through the
crowd. Eventually they lift him, shouting as he protests, and they carry
him out of the city. He is left alone.

STAR CHILD: My wickedness has changed me. The evils I committed

have ruined me. I drove away my mother, and this is what I’ve
become.

MATILDA enters.

MATILDA: Brother.

Short pause. She goes to comfort him.

 JON BOUSTEAD 29

MATILDA: It’s OK.

STAR CHILD: I have to go.
MATILDA: No, please. Stay with us. I won’t mock you. I won’t hate
you. None of us will.
STAR CHILD: But I mocked and hated you all. I have to find my
mother. I have to make it right.

STAR CHILD leaves as MATILDA watches.

MATILDA: God go with you. Stay safe.

Lights fade.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
SCENE 5

ce
r
pe N ru

AT RISE: A different city. The stage becomes busy with townspeople

and market sellers (STRAWBERRY, MEAT, FLOWER and BOOZE),
an
and a LEPER. The LEPER is sat away from the action. Occasionally
Pe

coughing and dodged by the others – he is obviously an outcast. The

lines are delivered over the commotion, and the sellers can improvise
some buying and selling among each other and with the audience.

STRAWBERRY: Strawberries! Come and get your lovely

strawberries!
MEAT: Anyone fancy some lovely sausages? Come on, three pound
a bag.
FLOWER: Flowers! Freshly picked flowers! All the colors of the
rainbow!

BOOZE SELLER enters drunkenly. The CROWD stops and looks.

BOOZE: Anyone for booze? (He hiccups) I’ve got bine and weer,
and bots of lottles!

BOOZE SELLER comes to the audience, starting fights with one or

two, but he’s clearly not up to the challenge. He falls on his bum with a
loud crash.
30 WILDE AT HEART

BOOZE: S’gonna hurt in the morning.

With a belch, or a hiccup, the BOOZE SELLER passes out. After a

short pause, the buying and selling begins again.

OSCAR: Where are we?

ONCE: Outside another city. After he was kicked out, the Star Child
searched far and wide in the hope of finding his mother.
OSCAR: But where is he?

STAR CHILD enters. The crowd reacts with fright and disgust. In the

rm fo l
script, the TOWNSPEOPLE are referred to as TP 1, 2, 3 and 4.
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: Please. Can you help me? I need to find my mother.

ce
TP 1: Ergh! What mother in her right mind would want to be found by
r
pe N ru

you?
TP 2: Surely she’s left you for a reason.
an
Pe

TP 1 and TP 2 look at each other with raised eyebrows and then turn
to the STAR CHILD.

TP 1 and TP 2: (Together.) It aint ‘appening, love.

TP 1 and TP 2 exit, laughing together. STAR CHILD approaches the

STRAWBERRY seller. She’s horrified.

STAR CHILD: Excuse me?

STRAWBERRIES: Argh! Get away from my strawberries, you’ll ruin
them! Away, away!
TP 3: (Having previously bought a strawberry.) These strawberries
are moldy!
TP 4: (Having previously bought some meat.) This smells funny!
MEAT: And my sausages are off!
FLOWER: My flowers have died!

Pause. They wait to hear from the BOOZE SELLER. He’s asleep,
snoring. He hiccups.
 JON BOUSTEAD 31

ALL SELLERS: (To STAR CHILD.) This is your fault! Away with you!

As the crowd chants and jeers, two SOLDIERS push through.

SOLDIER 1: Hold up! Hold up! What’s goin’ on? All this noise is givin’
me an ‘eadache!
SOLDIER 2: Yeeeeeeah...
FLOWER: He’s ruined my flowers!
STRAWBERRY: Yeah, and my strawberries are moldy!
BOOZE: (Hiccupping himself awake.) I’ve got a hangover.

rm fo l
They move out of the way, so the SOLDIERS can approach STAR
rfo ot sa
CHILD. As they approach him, they recoil briefly at the sight of him.

ce
SOLDIER 1: What have you got to say for yourself young (Struggling
r
pe N ru

to come up with an appropriate term) ...old... boy... thing?

STAR CHILD: I need to get to the city gates. I’m looking for my mother.
an
SOLDIER 1: Run away from you, did she?
Pe

STAR CHILD: No, not exactly I––

SOLDIER 1: Can’t say I blame her, (To SOLDIER 2.) can you?
SOLDIER 2: Eh?
SOLDIER 1: Blame her. I say can you blame her for ditching him?
SOLDIER 2: Crikey, no. Look at him. Is she as foul as you?
STAR CHILD: No. She is beautiful, and I must find her.

They laugh.

SOLDIER 1: Beautiful? I don’t think so matey. Off you pop! Go on,

stop making trouble and go and, I dunno––
SOLDIER 2: Join a circus or something.
SOLDIER 1: Yeah, a circus. One of them freak shows, that’d be good.
You’d make a fortune.

Fed up, STAR CHILD goes to exit.

SOLDIER 1: (To Soldier 2.) Hang on. We could sell him!

SOLDIER 2: To the circus?
32 WILDE AT HEART

SOLDIER 1: Maybe. Or as a servant. He’d make a great servant!

SOLDIER 2: You might be on to something here.

Short pause.

SOLDIER 1: Grab him!

The SOLDIERS grab him, and drag him to a place for auction.

STAR CHILD: What are you doing? Get off.

SOLDIER 1: Gather round, people of the town. We’ve got ourselves
a servant to sell.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
A crowd gathers.

ce
SOLDIER 1: How much for the young-old-boy-thing?
r
pe N ru

TP 1: Nuffin’. He’s no good for anything, look at him.

TP 3: Yeah you should be payin’ us to take ‘im off yer ‘ands.
an
TP 4: ‘Ow much you offerin’ officer?
Pe

SOLDIER 1: Now, now, come on, he’s bound to be good for

something. He could watch the kids.
TP 2: He’ll frighten the kids.
STRAWBERRY: Just chuck him out.
SOLDIER 1: Nonsense, come on. He seems relatively strong.
ALL: CHUCK HIM OUT! CHUCK HIM OUT!

The EVIL MAGICIAN enters. The crowd gradually dies down and
makes room for him. They start to whisper as they notice him.

MAGICIAN: (Approaching TP 4.) Problem, have you?

TP 4: No, sir.
MAGICIAN: Then SHUT UP!

They all wince and back away.

MAGICIAN: Now… how much for the boy? I could use some help
around the house.
SOLDIER 2: One pound!
 JON BOUSTEAD 33

SOLDIER 1 slaps SOLDIER 2 on the back of the head.

SOLDIER 1: One hundred pounds!

MAGICIAN: One hundred pounds? For this sorry sight? I’ll give you a
bottle of sweet wine... it’s organic.
SOLDIER 2: SOLD!

SOLDIER 1 slaps SOLDIER 2 on the back of the head again.

MAGICIAN: Excellent. (Calling offstage.) MINION!

rm fo l
A MINION rushes on.
rfo ot sa
MAGICIAN: WINE!

ce
r
pe N ru

MINION lets out some sort of whiney voice and moans dramatically.
an
MAGICIAN: A BOTTLE OF WINE YOU IDIOT! NOT A VOCAL ONE!
Pe

MINION quickly exits, retrieving a bottle of wine, and hands it to the

SOLDIERS.

MAGICIAN: Settled. (To MINION.) Now, you may go. (Short pause.
Then to everybody else.) ALL of you!

The cast begins to build the next scene: The forest and the passage
to the Magician’s house.

MAGICIAN: Now. Boy. Come with me.

The MAGICIAN laughs an evil laugh and exits with the STAR CHILD.
34 WILDE AT HEART

SCENE 6

AT START: The ENSEMBLE (any or all of the characters not speaking

in SCENE 6) sets the scene, becoming the trees and bushes of a
forest.

OSCAR: Where is he taking him?

STAR CHILD: Where are you taking me?
MAGICIAN: Shh. Just don’t try and escape, the woods are bewitched.

They continue through the forest. We hear moans and groans, and
some of the trees try to grab the STAR CHILD.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
UPON: Everything that existed in the Magician’s forest, had been
created by spells on what he referred to as––

ce
MAGICIAN: (Kicking one of the bushes.) Disagreeable people! It’s
r
pe N ru

within your interests to not mess with me, boy.

an
The MAGICIAN pushes STAR CHILD along, and they come towards
Pe

a pomegranate tree, which again is made up by people in the cast.

A TIME: And after what felt like a year and a day, they reached a
pomegranate tree. The door to the dungeon.
MAGICIAN: We’re here.

The MAGICIAN opens the door to the tree, which then morphs into the
dungeon. The people here are bewitched into walls and locks and
chains, and as the STAR CHILD is thrown in, they grab him and secure
him to the wall.

MAGICIAN: MINION! SCRAPS!

Two MINIONS roll on stage, fighting.

MAGICIAN: THE DUNGEON SCRAPS, YOU FOOLS!

The dungeon walls begin to bicker. MAGICIAN shouts.

 JON BOUSTEAD 35

MAGICIAN: No! Food you idiots! Bring me food!

The MINIONS quickly exit and retrieve some moldy bread, and dirty
water. They place the items on a ledge in the wall, made up of a cast
member’s hands.

MAGICIAN: Enjoy it, boy. It’s all you’re going to get.

The MAGICIAN exits. The bread and water is passed around the
people in the wall, who snatch and grab for it. Eventually, it is dropped.
The MAGICIAN re-enters. To unlock the STAR CHILD, the MAGICIAN
has to “hurt” the ones that are holding him: Twisting ears, and pinching

rm fo l
arms, etc. He does so.
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: Do you know where my mother is?

ce
MAGICIAN: That depends. Do you know where my mother is? (Short
r
pe N ru

pause.) I lost her on a Tuesday... seven years ago.

STAR CHILD: What?
an
MAGICIAN: (Shrugging the thought away.) I may be able to help you.
Pe

But it will cost you.

STAR CHILD: Please, I’ll do anything.
MAGICIAN: I thought you might. (Short pause.) Somewhere out there
are three pieces of gold. One is of white gold, another is of yellow
gold, and the third is of red gold. I had my way with the forest,
bewitching anyone who came against me. Look at them. Pitiful. Now
it won’t give me what I crave. But you, you can get it.
STAR CHILD: How do you know?
MAGICIAN: Because if you don’t, I will beat you with 100 stripes, and
you will die motherless and alone, embedded inside a dungeon wall.
STAR CHILD: And if I do get them, what then?
MAGICIAN: You shall have your freedom, and you will find your
mother.

The MAGICIAN sends the STAR CHILD on his way back through the
forest. There is a great struggle, and STAR CHILD gets caught in
thistles, but he manages to get through. HARE enters, he too becomes
stuck in a thicket, which is created by the cast.
36 WILDE AT HEART

HARE: Hello? Help! Somebody please help. Help me please, I’m

stuck.
STAR CHILD: Hello?

STAR CHILD goes to assist HARE, who is becoming more distressed.

HARE: I can’t... ouch... it hurts, please help.

STAR CHILD: Hold still.

The thicket makes an attempt to resist him, but painfully falls away.

HARE: Ahh. That’s better. This wood is a cruel place. Full of wants

rm fo l
and needs. I was fighting over berries. I lost. What brings you here?
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: I’m looking for some white gold. If I don’t find it, I’ll be
beaten, and I’ll never see my mother again.

ce
HARE: Oh dear. How awful. Good job I know where it is then, isn’t it?
r
pe N ru

STAR CHILD: You do? Can you show me?

HARE: Sure! You helped me, so I’ll help you. Follow me!
an
Pe

HARE leads the STAR CHILD to a cave, again created by the cast.

HARE: Here we are. Just in there. Be careful though, it won’t give it

up easily.

HARE exits and STAR CHILD reaches into the cave. He is pulled in
and surrounded. Eventually, he screams and the cave walls collapse.

STAR CHILD: I’ve got it!

STAR CHILD makes his way back, but on his way he is stopped by a
LEPER.

LEPER: Please. Please can you help me?

STAR CHILD: I’m so sorry sir, I (Realizing.) hang on. I saw you before,
in the city. You were––
LEPER: (Interrupting.) Alone. Unwanted. And dreadfully sick.
(Coughing.) Please. I have no money, and the people cast me out.
Can you help me?
 JON BOUSTEAD 37

Pause.

STAR CHILD: All I have is this. You take it. Your need is greater than
mine.
LEPER: Oh, thank you. Thank you, sir. God bless you.

LEPER leaves, and STAR CHILD makes his way back through the
forest and to the dungeon. The MAGICIAN is waiting for him.

MAGICIAN: Well?
STAR CHILD: I...I’m sorry I––

rm fo l
MAGICIAN: (Interrupting.) Where is the gold!?
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD: I don’t have it. I’m sorry.
MAGICIAN: You don’t have it? You don’t have it. Very well. You know

ce
the punishment. You come back to me empty-handed (Short
r
pe N ru

pause.) ONE HUNDRED STRIPES!

an
MAGICIAN claps his hands and two cast members from the wall break
Pe

out and restrain STAR CHILD. As the MAGICIAN whips, the ensemble
create the sound effects.

MAGICIAN: I’m going to enjoy this. One! (Whip.) Two! (Whip.) Three!
(The lights fade.)

SCENE 7

AT RISE: Lights up. STAR CHILD is lying on the floor with red stripes
on his back. OSCAR becomes upset and tries to help.

OSCAR: He’s really hurt.

ONCE: You can’t touch him. He can’t see you.
OSCAR: But I want to help.

MAGICIAN enters.
38 WILDE AT HEART

MAGICIAN: Now then, boy. I hope you’ve learnt your lesson. I’m going
to give you a second chance.

The walls begin to whisper.

MAGICIAN: I told you there are three pieces of gold. Through

ignorance you misplaced the first. But there are two more.
STAR CHILD: I wasn’t being ignorant I––
MAGICIAN: (Interrupting.) Silence! I bought you, remember. You are
still my servant, and you will bring me the yellow gold. If you fail, I
shall keep you and beat you until you can no longer stand. Do you
understand?

rm fo l
STAR CHILD: (Quietly.) Yes master.
rfo ot sa
MAGICIAN: I said DO YOU UNDERSTAND!
STAR CHILD: Yes! Yes, master.

ce
MAGICIAN: Very good. Quickly now, we haven’t got all day.
r
pe N ru

The MAGICIAN sends him on his way. The forest, made up of cast
an
members, is nastier and rougher than before. BIRD, SQUIRREL and
Pe

MOLE enter, watching STAR CHILD with interest. All except MOLE of
course, who is blind. He’s wearing broken sunglasses, and carrying a
broken stick like a blind man’s cane. STAR CHILD looks over to them,
and they turn away.

STAR CHILD: Excuse me?

The animals move further away.

STAR CHILD: Excuse me?

The animals move even further away.

STAR CHILD: Excuse me, can you help me?

No response. He runs up to them this time, forcing them to talk.

STAR CHILD: Hello?

BIRD: Yes, we heard you.
 JON BOUSTEAD 39

SQUIRREL: Pah! We can always hear him.

MOLE: It’s a shame I’m not deaf as well as blind.
STAR CHILD: I need help.
BIRD, SQUIRREL and MOLE: (Together.) We know.
BIRD: But you won’t get it from us.
SQUIRREL: No sir, not after what you did.
STAR CHILD: What? What did I do?
MOLE: You broke my glasses, and my stick.
SQUIRREL: And your stick, so he did.
BIRD, SQUIRREL and MOLE: (Together.) Nasty little boy.
SQUIRREL: And you stole my nuts. My precious nuts. Only to fire
them at me. Like bullets, they were! Like bullets!

rm fo l
BIRD: And you broke my beak, tied my wings back and threw me like
rfo ot sa
an airplane. Now I can no longer sing, see… (Demonstrating.) Or
whistle! (Demonstrates her inability to whistle.)

ce
STAR CHILD: I’m sorry. I know it was wicked. But I must find the
r
pe N ru

yellow gold. The Magician, he––

MOLE: Ooooh, doing deals with the Magician now, are you? Well we
an
won’t be having any part of that.
Pe

BIRD: No, sir.

SQUIRREL: Not a chance!
BIRD, SQUIRREL and MOLE: (Together.) Now on your way!

They leave STAR CHILD by himself. He searches in plants, which

close up on him, and he tries to speak to other creatures, but they won’t
listen. Eventually he gives up, and sits, crying. HARE enters.

HARE: Why so glum chum? I thought you found your gold.

STAR CHILD: I had to give it away to someone who needed it more
than me. Now I must find the yellow gold, or I’ll get beaten again.

HARE notices the blood on STAR CHILD’s back.

HARE: Oh dear. That looks nasty. Good job, I know where the yellow
gold is too then, eh? Ha-ha. Follow me!

They wander through the forest, and a pool is formed by the cast.
40 WILDE AT HEART

STAR CHILD: What a beautiful pool.

HARE: It’s down there. See, at the bottom. I can’t reach though, I’m
afraid.
STAR CHILD: I see it! I can reach! Oh thank you! How can I repay
you? This is the second time you’ve helped me!
HARE: Nonsense, boy. You helped me first.

HARE exits, and STAR CHILD reaches into the pool, he is pulled in
with a SPLASH and the pool disperses. He pockets the gold, and
makes his way back to the MAGICIAN. On his way, he notices the
LEPER.

rm fo l
LEPER: Ah, boy. Please, can you help me? I have no money and am
rfo ot sa
surely to die of hunger! Please.
STAR CHILD: I have already helped you. Where is the gold I gave

ce
you before? r
pe N ru

LEPER: Please, good sir, I had to buy food to eat and rags for warmth.
Now I have nothing left. Please can you help?
an
STAR CHILD: I’m sorry, sir. I wish I could, but if I don’t get this back
Pe

to my master, then––
LEPER: (Interrupting.) Please… please help me.

The STAR CHILD takes pity on the LEPER a second time, and hands
over the yellow gold.

STAR CHILD: Here. You need it more than me. I’m still young and
have some strength left.
LEPER: Oh thank you! Thank you! God bless you, boy!

The LEPER leaves and the forest is formed again. STAR CHILD makes
his way back to the dungeon, where the MAGICIAN is waiting for him.

MAGICIAN: I see the forest was not so easy on you this time. I hope
your trip was worth your while.

Pause. MAGICIAN snickers.

 JON BOUSTEAD 41

MAGICIAN: Dear, oh dear. I give you a second chance and your

pockets are still empty. You know what that means.

The MAGICIAN opens the dungeon, and the STAR CHILD is prepared
for whipping. Again, as the MAGICIAN whips, the cast creates the
sound effect.

MAGICIAN: One! (Whip!) Two! (Whip!) Three! (The lights fade.)

SCENE 8

rm fo l
AT START: STAR CHILD is on stage, lying on the floor with more
rfo ot sa
red stripes on his back.

ce
ONCE: The wicked Magician would not let him go. And the Star Child
r
pe N ru

began to wonder if he would ever get out.

UPON: Not that life outside was much better. Everyone hated him.
an
OSCAR: He’s in so much pain.
Pe

A TIME: I know it’s hard to see now, Oscar. But you’ll come to
understand.

The MAGICIAN enters.

MAGICIAN: Perhaps I should give you your third shot, while the sting
is still fresh.

MAGICIAN releases the STAR CHILD.

MAGICIAN: You have one last chance. Find the red gold, and I will
set you free. Fail and I will keep you as my servant until the day you
die. Which by the look of you, may be sooner than you think.

The MAGICIAN laughs and sends the STAR CHILD on his way back
through the forest. It’s even crueler this time.

STAR CHILD: I’ll never get out! I’ll never find it! I’m going to die before
I ever get to see my mother, and say sorry for everything I did.
42 WILDE AT HEART

Pause.

STAR CHILD: I deserve to die without forgiveness.

He weeps, and after a while, the HARE returns.

HARE: Oh dear. What are you looking for this time young man?
STAR CHILD: The red gold. And if I don’t find it, I’ll die because I can’t
take anymore beatings.
HARE: There, there lad. You don’t need to cry. Come on, listen. You
really don’t. Want to know why?

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
STAR CHILD looks at him.

ce
HARE: Because the red gold you’re looking for is inside that bush over
r
pe N ru

there! Be careful though, nasty things those. I’d say put on your
gardening gloves, but I doubt that you’re inclined to carry them.
an
STAR CHILD: Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Pe

STAR CHILD squeezes HARE in an enormous embrace, which makes

it difficult for him to breathe.

HARE: You’re welcome... but I might... ask you to stop now... or you’ll
kill me!

STAR CHILD quickly releases him.

STAR CHILD: I’m so sorry, are you OK?

HARE: Yes, not to worry. Now go and get your gold!
STAR CHILD: How can I ever––
HARE: Ah, ah, ah! I said it before, and I’ll say it again, you helped me
first. BYE NOW!
 JON BOUSTEAD 43

The HARE skips off, and STAR CHILD goes straight to the bush. He’s
tentative at first, but can see the gold. He reaches in, and all seems
well for a second. Then the bush starts to attack his arm, pulling him in
further, and grabbing his face. He screams out in pain, but is
determined to get the gold.

STAR CHILD: I’ve got it!

He starts to pull, but the bush keeps scratching him. He pulls and pulls,
and his arms are bleeding. Eventually he breaks free, falling to the
ground. The LEPER enters. As the STAR CHILD gets up, he notices
him.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
LEPER: Help me... help me...
STAR CHILD: Sir. Please. I can’t this time. If I give you this, I’m

ce
going to die.
r
pe N ru

LEPER: Please. Please help...

an
The LEPER falls to the ground, gasping and desperate. The STAR
Pe

CHILD has pity once more.

STAR CHILD: All I want is to find my mother. But all I can do is pray
that she hears my woes, and learns to forgive me. Here sir, you
don’t deserve your death. Take it.

STAR CHILD hands over the gold.

ONCE: And at that moment, when he handed it over a third time,

something tremendous took place.

The cast becomes an adoring crowd, staring from their positions. They
gasp, and then come to the STAR CHILD. STAR CHILD is changed
back to his original form.

TP 1: Your majesty!
TP 2: Your radiance!
TP 3: Your wondrous and magnificent beauty! How we long to call
you king!
44 WILDE AT HEART

TP 1, 2 and 3: (Together.) Come, rule, be prince and lord over us!

The cast forms the pond. STAR CHILD looks in and the cast admires
him.

STAR CHILD: What’s this?

ONCE: The spell had been broken, and beauty restored. As he was
once before, the boy was adored.
Cast: A melody, tuned to your hair in the breeze,
Your lips are red as rose,
A voice so strong, and carried with ease,
Of your beauty, everyone knows.

rm fo l
With eyes a blue as heavenly skies,
rfo ot sa
You are glorious, an idol adored.
We look and we seek, with wearying eyes,

ce
To make you our prince, or ruler, our lord.
r
pe N ru

STAR CHILD: How did this happen? I was a wretch! Shaped by my

wickedness, I was outcast. I was hideous.
an
TP 1: Never have we seen a sight so glorious! Come, rule over us!
Pe

They start to pull and take him to the city.

STAR CHILD: No, I can’t. I must find my mother. Please, please can
you help me find my mother? I cannot rest until I find her.

During the commotion, BEGGAR WOMAN and LEPER enter. STAR

CHILD sees them, and tries to fight through the crowd. He manages,
but not without much resistance.

STAR CHILD: MOTHER!

He falls at her feet. The cast watches in awe. They mutter and whisper
with interest.

STAR CHILD: Mother, how can you ever forgive me! Please have
mercy. Show me your love! I’ve searched for years and fallen into
the hands of the wicked, all because of my evil past! I know now I
am your son. Can you forgive me? Can you ever forgive me?
 JON BOUSTEAD 45

There is no response. STAR CHILD pleads with LEPER.

STAR CHILD: Sir. Three times I saved you when you were in great
need. Please ask this woman to speak to me. I have to let her know
how sorry I am, and know myself that I have her forgiveness. My
suffering is greater than I can bear.

The mood changes as the STAR CHILD kneels with his face to the
ground. For a moment, there is silence. STAR CHILD, giving up, puts
his head to the ground.

rm fo l
LEPER: Rise.
rfo ot sa
BEGGAR: Rise.

ce
Through physical theatre, BEGGAR WOMAN and LEPER become
r
pe N ru

changed. They are brought to the center and dressed in crowns and
royal robes. They are now King and Queen. The STAR CHILD watches
an
in awe, and is eventually brought to them.
Pe

QUEEN: My son, this is your father, who you showed mercy in a time
of great need.
KING: And this is your Mother, whose feet you have washed with
tears.

They embrace, and the cast rejoices. A throne is made, on which the
STAR CHILD sits.

QUEEN: Will you rule with a noble heart, driven by love, to seek out
justice?
STAR CHILD: I will.
KING: And do you promise to maintain this honor, with the utmost
dignity and spirit.
STAR CHILD: I do.
QUEEN: Then together, we pronounce you.
QUEEN and KING: (Together.) Prince and ruler of our great Kingdom!
46 WILDE AT HEART

There is much applause and celebration. STAR CHILD is carried out,

followed by KING and QUEEN. Only ONCE, UPON, A TIME, and
OSCAR are left.

OSCAR: Is that the end?

ONCE: Not quite. But it’s all clearer for you now?
OSCAR: Yes! Thank you. But what happened to everyone? What
happened to the Woodcutter?
ONCE: The Star Child blessed him and his family with many gifts.
UPON: And to his children, he gave high honor.
A TIME: He taught loving-kindness to all in his kingdom.
OSCAR: And the Magician?

rm fo l
UPON: He was banished and died bitter and twisted.
rfo ot sa
A TIME: He refused to learn the lessons of the Star Child. So many
do, which is why you need this.

ce
r
pe N ru

They hand him a book called “The Star Child.”

an
OSCAR: But it is a happily ever after, isn’t it? What happened to the
Pe

Kingdom?

ONCE, UPON and A TIME start to clap the remaining books (on stage
since the beginning) shut.

OSCAR: Wait. Don’t go.

OSCAR yawns.

OSCAR: Don’t… don’t go. I can’t... I can’t...

The final book is clapped shut, and OSCAR falls asleep as he did in
the beginning of the play. ONCE, UPON and A TIME leave. Lights fade.
 JON BOUSTEAD 47

SCENE 9

AT START: OSCAR wakes up with a start.

OSCAR: Hello? Once? Upon? Hello? A Time?

OSCAR remembers the book he was given, and immediately flicks

through the pages and reads.

OSCAR: Come on, where is it... how does it end?

OSCAR gasps as he reads. Pause.

rm fo l
rfo ot sa
OSCAR: “…the evil Magician he banished, and to the Woodcutter and
his wife he sent many rich gifts... Nor would he suffer any to be cruel

ce
to bird or beast, but taught love and loving-kindness and charity...
r
pe N ru

there was peace and plenty in the land.”

an
OSCAR turns the page.
Pe

OSCAR: “Yet ruled he not long, so great had been his suffering, and
so bitter the fire of his testing, for after the space of three years he–
(Short pause.) he died. And he who came after him ruled evilly.”

OSCAR stares at the book as the lights fade to black.

THE END
 Pe
pe N ru
rfo ot sa
NOTES:

rm fo l
an r
ce
NOTES:
WILDE AT HEART
By Jon Boustead
Type: Short Play
Genre: Drama
Duration: 45 minutes
Cast: 5 females, 8 males, 14-27 either (27-40 total cast)
Flexiblity: Doubling Possible, Gender Flexible

Oscar hates stories, but when he disturbs Once, Upon and

a Time, his world is thrown upside down as he learns about
courage, greed and forgiveness in this wonderful adaptation
based on Oscar Wilde’s well-known The Star-Child.