''Mean that One thing''

by Karolina (Kala) Karmaza

It was the most unexpected interruption in the melody of that new jazz song he was planning ahead

for the final concert. Notes were ready to be adjusted in his head, as his mind was extending tones in

colors of non-standard emotions.

– I'd rather be dead than nothing to do with this concert – she gasped with tired face as she

was practicing for many hours, and still hasn't mastered the right accords.

– There is a space for your timing, trust your guts and we will meet the end with the rainbow

tone.

– Right, and they will probably not even appreciate it, Rob decided to cut it off as in his mind it

is too boring.

– I don't care about his taste now, as I know how often he changes his mind. Once, when I was

just about to write my own lines he first agreed and was, quote: „absolutely perfect – even

though I did make a mistake on purpose knowing, that he is not listenning to me at all – and

when I changed it for the improved version he decided to remove it, because, quote: ''I am not

going to let this happen in my presence'' – and you know what, I am absolutely tired of his

shitty attitude towards my perfect imperfection.

– Gaaaaryyy! - she laughed spontaneuosly – what on earth are you trying to say to me? Are you

jealous or maybe envious, hum? She kept laughing, and in the same time was making funny faces

just as Gary would have done so.

– Honeslty, I'm sometimes really done with his attitude, and no, I am not going to let it spoil my

©AUTOPOIETICS® Interactive CV Karolina (Kala) Karmaza

 day behind the piano. And you know what, I am going to make it my own way this time, seriously,

and without his permission!

– Whooaaw, Good Gooood our little genius is getting serious! - Beth begun tidying up after the

rehersal in a way that she reminded an overworked housekeeper, rather than a musician.

– No way Beth, are you really going to behave in such a silly way? And what is your mother going

to say about your bad attitude? - Gary begun packing his notes with relaxed smile on his face –

One day I will show off with my little overture on the piano and without Rob. Who knows,

maybe you'll get a small part for your violin, if I will still care about you and your sense of

humor?

They were not too bad about this long rehersal. Making an effort to calm down after an extremely

straining practice with overloaded minds, where each one of them was going through was complicated,

especially in moments of their limits and overpracticing for the purpose of illusive perfection.

* * *

Music was never overrated in their home, and their home meant always something different each time

there was a sunrise in new notes coloured by new tones. If there was a moment of absolute silence,

there must had been the bundle of blipping sounds, full of everchanging shades, as spots of the new

interrelated points of little meaningful bursts of sounded perfections were more than enough for

happiness purposes. Some of them were more gentle than others, sliding in the silkness of their airy

fluffiness. Regardless of their timing, one after another, they were bringing the morning to its unique

light – without unnecessary in beetween breaks, and for the pouse of the Sun getting higher and

higher into the horizon. Swirl after swirl, the morning wind was supporting the lightest change of the

shape that was being formed. Some say that this phenomenon is never to be achieved by the naked

eye, and yet others know, that emotive flow of one's own phenomenal music experience is full of

unexpected embodiments of buzzez, fizziness and goosebumps. Whatever that is, it is the most

beautiful thing in the entire world – M U S I C.

Music experience as such is a non comparative value. The virtue of esthetical judgement owned by a

living entity allows questions for further enactive development. In the engagement of a certain taste

of music, in its uniqueness, all what can be projected in and out of the phenomenal bubble creates

specific identity or/and specific experience category.

©AUTOPOIETICS® Interactive CV Karolina (Kala) Karmaza

Long hours in and out of each music store content were pure pleasure. The choice was not too bad for

the local musicians who were happy to indulge themselves in old and new content for the new bitcoin

currency exchange. Funny enough that the bitcoin machine was a holo-reality - mixed and augumented -

related to tokens in order to be printed as the choice was about to be made. One glimpse of an eye and

a record was popping out of the holo-shelve into one's own mind, as there were points of neuro-

contracted meta-transits without content zips, and yet with tetra spaces to be filled with new music.

– No way, Lady Gaga and Bob Dylan as a neutron pack! I am going to die right this moment and

for sure! Rob is killing my sense of esthetics with his latest pop retro Madonna choice that

sent to me the other day, and you know what, I am going to digest this set of ''innovative''

music therapy, as he calls it. I prefer to go through all this crap in order to pass it.

– Oh God – HA! If I were you Gary, I just wouldn't be so sarcastic about Mr Rob's pop inventive

sense of humor. Honestly, be nice to him, he lost his wife, and this musical jurney is a real deal

you know, don't make it difficult. The end of your studies is almost here. There, give him this

to listen and tell him, that's from his admirer of his sense of humor, trust me, he's going to

love it!

– Well, I do not know. Passing gifts from not his musical students is a bit weird, but I may try to

introduce you as his lady psycho fan of his musical talent. He is one of the greatest conductors

of this century. Don't forget it.

– Right, thanks, maybe not. Forget about it. You take it.

– Jesus, thanks! You're such a nice friend of Adele.

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 – Look! My favorite band! Over there!

– Gary looked at her with a cheeky grin and said slowly – fiiine, so, this is your taste, you are a

Beetless fan, hmm. I would have never guested, after your fascination of a yellow submarine

when it comes to party behavior. OK, wait a moment.

Gary opened holo-box with the most popular cover song by Beatles and the band appeared at the front

of them for the 001-Stage experience mode.

– and how about this? It's still trending in New Zeland these days – and the previous one here.

– … this is it! I'm gonna have it, Right! Let's go to pay now!

– I'm gonna have this – this is epic...wow!

* * *

It is unknown how long we can last in our own discovery moments as we participating in co-creation

along by the way in an instant via musical experiences. Perceptive landscapes are as that much

interesting as much we can engage with a certain phenomenological experience of emotive, neuro-

contracted senses. Each embodiment of autonomous mindful cognition of music clarifies its reception.

– Good morning Mr Green – said Elizabeth to her music teacher – do you have a minute this

afternoon? I'd like to ask you for an advice in choosing music school.

– Oh, Miss Princeton, hello, yes off course, I am okay to dedicate 15 minutes of my time this

afternoon. I hope I'll be helpful with talking over the newest rankings of contemporary music

schools chosen by most satisfied graduates from the past two years. I coincidentally received

an email with the newest updates from academia this week.

– Great! Thank you very much Mr Green!

– You're very welcome – see you in the afternoon.

Mr Green opened his musical suitcase filled with notes, drafts of newly written concerts waiting to be

discovered, and his inspirational set of fresh music and songs of the year – something that he

©AUTOPOIETICS® Interactive CV Karolina (Kala) Karmaza

sometimes was too shy to admit, and yet he never let himself to stop dreaming Big with his boyish

heart. His 30 minutes music preparation routine before weekly music tuition was carefully planned. In

the beginning of each music preparation routine. Windows were opened, sunglasses with chromotones

ready to maximize his inner music experience, to not to smug his music too much from its too loud

existence. Then, notepad and customized touch pad for an instant creative exerience. Mr Natan Green

and his recent research project was an important new discovery of his own musical and technological

passion. His geek nature took over on the day when he found out a new way of combining his academic

reality with artistic world. Even creatives involved in this inventive project were flabagasted by the

regular outcomes for the most unexpected discovery moments. Mr Natan Green was in the last stage

of the research project, where every single upredictable variable was to change the whole thesis. It

wasn't certain, that the whole musical experiment is going to work well in the end. The more content

was piling up in his tables with expertise neuro-contracted analyses, the more sleepless he was. Each

conversation about his own contribution was a theme not to be overrated nor underrated. The

importance of the publication was begining to hang over his head heavily. It was sometimes unbearable

to notice how disconnected he could become in the full range of diversity of presented arguments,

that were to be synchronized with his ambitious ideas. Some of his friends were sometimes really

worried about his well-being, as he could be very strict and rigorious when it comes to trying to prove

the impossible. Some other were happy to see him wandering in the music shops, old theatres, operas,

philharmonics, and all other places were music is celebrated on many different levels, including pubs,

clubs and disco's. The inventive mind of this painfuly shy academic was so bizzare, that his quirky

behavior was almost magical. His musical choice was varied, and nobody really knew what is his real

taste of music, or whether it ever existed. The ability to inspire his imagination with unique sounds was

also nothing to do with training or schooling. Some were saying, that he was the most boring person on

Earth, and yet each time he opened his mouth he was able to prove the existence of yet another

dimension of his intelligence. His very polite nature had a limit only when he was realy drowned in music

and interrupted in the moment of living through this very intimate experience. Apart from the way he

was encouraging others to choose their own way of listening to music, he was a very predictable person.

In a way, someting of a sort of introvert without a bad day at a first glance – his smile wasn't much

when it comes to hiding his musical personality.

– What is it then? - said Mr Green and put another moment aside by making it round with the

good old Preisner tones...

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The Music went so loud for half an hour, that only the very first students got the proper character of

Mr Natan Green when listening to the music. The sound room built into his research/creative studio,

were he was giving musical lessons only as a part time job, was bursting with colors being received by

tech sponsored by University grant for the purpuse of this musical research project. The newcomers

were standing with their mouths wide opened while others were only whispering and murmuring with

mixed impressions on their faces.

– Omg, is he insane? What happened to him? - finally said aloud one of the newcomers.

– Nothing, he's just listening to music.

– What? With all the color smoke like during a hindu color festival? Is he even inhaling this? Or

is this some kind of lung new treat insted of vape chainsmoking? - added shocked newcomer,

almost bursting into laughter.

– I think you'll have to learn to shut your gob – said an old student of Mr Green's – he's a

researcher for the most prestigious academia in the United Kingdom with big sponsors from

Australia.

– OMG, really – said laughing the newcomer – wow, I guess they have a very loose budget scheme

if they let serious people behave like … - he couldn't finish his sentence because the music

stopped and Mr Natan Green appeared at the front of the music lab capsule with his most

happy face and vanishing dust of colors around his body.

– Aha! Good morning students! - said loudly Mr Green with energy of the most rested man in the

entire world – I am very happy to see you crowded together around my new musical lab, and as

you can see, the experiment for today is ended. Let's go back to our routine. Who would like to

begin reading notes today? - added Mr Green making his way to his desk and in the same time

chucking in neatly his blue shirt, still covered with dusty sounds colored appropriately.

– Man, said the youngest student – I am going to take a footage of him next time, I swear,

because nobody is going to believe me what we do with Mr Green just before the musical lesson

begins. Do you think he's going to get it through with his research this year? Last year he was

saying that the grand finale is now, I mean, then. And now he's playing with dust in colors of

the sound of Preisner.

– Shut it Steve, and let the man do the weird things, I'm not gonna ever talk about this, I don't

want to be smacked by my mother for wasting my time on somethig that has no meaning to me

and in the same time waste people's money on uncertain outcomes.

– Maybe he's just mad? I mean, maybe he lied to all of us that he is doing some research and

©AUTOPOIETICS® Interactive CV Karolina (Kala) Karmaza

 year after year he's trying to bring in new technology to keep himself busy?

– Right students – said a little bit more serious than a moment ago Mr Green who overheard all

what they have exchanged in the meantime – I am going to explain you now what it means

Music. I mean, I am going to ask you to explain to me what in your mind is music. Is there a

volunteer who would like to begin?

No one raised a hand nor a voice. Mr Natan Green waited ten more minutes to give his students a

chance of joining the dialogue, knowing in the same time, that they will somehow pass this opportunity

with silence. He's 44 years of teaching experience made him more than competent and very capable of

cutting of unnecessary interruptive disruptions, that make no sense nor positive addition to the

subject matter. In the same time he was very conscious of the fact that making his musical research

routine open to his regular students, especially to the newcomers, was about to end. Little did he know

the best part of this popularity was about to be even more surprising.

– Mr Green? - said a newcomer – Do we have to analyze music or maybe we could just do it?

The newcomer smiled with almost mysterious smile, reminding Mr Green a little bit of himself

in the beautiful years when he was at his age.

– Very good idea – said Mr Green with a proud grin on his face – this is what it is all about really.

We are doing music every single time we meet here and I do hope, that one day it is going to be

seen by all of us. The results, I mean. Great! - what is your name? - asked sitting by the desk

and putting his glaces on his nose.

– My name is Leaonardo – said proudly the newcomer.

– Like the Da Vinci one – winked Mr Green with the hint of sympathy in his look – right then,

begin, Leonardo, let's do the first page of our Bach prelude, the most popular one, you choose.

– Thank you Mr Green - bach cello suite no 1 in g major

– Perfect!

Mr Natan Green begun his teaching lesson with the voices of his students and their instruments. Each

one of them was happy to join the musical dialogue and in they break time they had a really good

conversation about music. New ideas of the newcomers were carefully listened to and precisely noted

in Mr Green's ideas notebook, for later re-discovery.

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“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams

in music. I see my life in terms of music.”

― Albert Einstein

* * *

Some say that they have never heard silence when walking through emptiness of a room. On the other

hand others make sounds their home, especially when it comes to beloning to the embodiment of their

musical nature. Whatever the real nature of music could be to each one of them, the full meaning of it

can be found within the phenomenal experience of the most connected, neuro-contracted ends and

beginnings of the matter of the sound.

– Rob, could you tell me once and for all what do you mean by music? - Gary was trying to be very

serious, knowing in the same time, that he had a huge sense of humor when it comes to

answering very serious questions.

– Music, you say – said smiling cunninly Rob – do you mean the Music or any kind of music at all, or

music of your very own choice? - Rob opened his eyes even wider to emphaze the seriousness

of the question, overdoing the face almost turning into a very surprized Salvador Dali face.

– Right – said already little uncomfortable Gary – I mean, your kind of music Rob – Gary was not

trying to hide his fading interest in Rob's fany face impression.

– My kind of music you see, is visibly recognizable by the nature of the sound refractions. It is

the unique way of perceiving music that makes it so phenomenal. Music compounding refractions

©AUTOPOIETICS® Interactive CV Karolina (Kala) Karmaza

 and the way they can be sensed through live experience is what it means to me when I choose

the way to perceive music. The rest can be another version of something else with extended

material to be added by the simple changes when adjusting texture of the sound to the way its

being performed, which are two completely different matters.

– Well Rob, I guess you have all figured out! The only thing that really bothers me is: what if it is

not going to be fully understood by the receipient of your music. Do you mean to serve it with

all analytical details as well or just with musical content? I mean, do you realize how much from

what you can offer to the audience is realy perceived, then analyzed, lived through, and then

shared? If I think of the modern way of presentig music it is more and more technnological for

the full phenomenological, customized experience. I know, you create music in a non linear way,

so maybe it is good to think of ways to promote it the way it can be digested with modern

technology and new kinds of innovative mindsets?

– Good point – I'll think about it.- said Rob and put down this conversation for later. His newly

inveted jazz piece was almost ready, and he decided to take a few days off to land the last

part with fresh mind. Nobody never knew where he was getting his most innovative ideas and

inspirations from, but it looked like he's getting more and more excited. He was showing signs

of impatience mixed with his queerkiness of putting words together when trying to explain

things, so popular amongs creatives.

Words, Just like notes, can inspire for new ideas as much as tastes, shapes, textures, new ways of

perceiving things, in the diversity of communicating and co-creating communication experience. This

phenomenological approach can be realized only when paying attention to details in the courage of

making a leap into non linear cognitive perception. It requires imagination, and it takes time to reach

the full conscioussnes of sound of words, and the pouse in between each sound. Comparing words and

notes can be a strange idea, and yet when we perform certain piece of music we try it first with the

sound of the very first communicative apparatus, which is our mind related to our throught with mouth

as the first instrument. Unless there is a man made instrument that can be played by heart with all

the beautiful notes making music more sound.

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 – Gary, look what I have found on the internet? - Said Elizebeth not sure whether he'll like it.

– Oh, the Miss Bennu blog, let's see – Gary clicked on the link to read the blog entry.

– I didn't realize you read this kind of poetry Beth – said Gary with a serious face, and then

added with a smile on his face – do you write as well?

– I do, sometimes, but it isn't serious yet. I'm only a beginner, so it doesn't really match the

sharing point yet.

– Let me know when it's done to be published – said Gary and gave her his new telephone number

saying – I'm moving away tomorrow. Let's stay in touch.

– Let's – said Elizabeth and then gave Gary a big hug.

Some say, that music can be lived only in vein, but then there are notes to do it's justice. What is the

meaning of each and every single one is yet another story. It's good when it makes sense once in a

while, and it's never too late to turn over the page for the new sound as well. Is is okay to make music

without full understanding of what it means? What do you think?

©AUTOPOIETICS® Interactive CV Karolina (Kala) Karmaza