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Oxiana Will Drill

Oxiana, the Australian company Oxiana has advised that programme
which is Kalimantan Gold’s partner in planning for Beruang will be complet-
Kalimantan, is preparing to drill KGC’s ed by mid March with drill rig mobilisa-
porphyry copper gold targets. KGC tion to follow shortly after. In addition to
CEO Rahman Connelly says ‘poten- working on the three immediate tar-
tially, this is the most significant devel- get prospects, Oxiana will also review
opment in the project's 26 year histo- all the other significant prospects and
ry’... anomalies identified on the KSK CoW,
with drilling to follow if appropriate.
Kalimantan Gold Corporation Limited
is pleased that Oxiana Limited, an Preliminary results of review work
Australian mining company, has con- Oxiana review work to date has
firmed the potential for discovering focused on Beruang with the empha-
significant new copper gold deposits sis on defining alteration zoning in
in Indonesia as part of its recently areas of planned drilling and assess-
signed option deed with Kalimantan ing potential in other areas.
Gold Corporation Limited.
Initial results indicate the presence of
In setting out its first work programme porphyry-style stockwork veining at
under the agreement Oxiana reports the surface and in a number of areas
that the Kalimantan Gold copper not previously drilled by Kalimantan
gold project in Central Kalimantan Gold. If further work confirms the
showed ‘significant scale and intensi- Right, Mansur Geiger (Exploration Manager, potential, these represent targets for
ty of mineralisation’ and that the work Kalimantan Gold) and left, Andrew Stewart relatively near surface porphyry-style
programme was now set up to test a (Senior Geologist, Oxiana) examine mineralisation.
number of targets in the most efficient drill-cores at the Beruang prospect in
and timely manner. preparation for drilling There has also been recognition of
porphyry-style veining and late-stage
‘We are very pleased indeed to get
this early report from Oxiana who now
Potentially, this is the magmatic-volatile features in the
north of the Beruang prospect area.
have a full-time presence on the
ground and are setting themselves up
most significant This enhances the area’s porphyry
for an intensive period of research
and drill testing on the project,’ com-
development in the About Kalimantan Gold
mented Kalimantan Gold CEO project's 26 year Kalimantan Gold Corporation
Rahman Connelly. ‘During the year Limited is a junior exploration com-
they will be focusing on our three pri- history. pany listed on both the TSX Venture
mary prospects, Beruang, Mansur Exchange in Canada and on AIM.
and Baroi and initial results from the review programme The company is focused on copper and gold in
already look extremely encouraging.’ Indonesia and has exploration rights
cont on p 2>
The agreement covers Kalimantan Gold’s 941 kmÇ
Contract of Work (‘KSK CoW’) in Central Kalimantan and
initially commits Oxiana to spending US$2.5 million on
data compilation and drilling 12 deep holes over a peri- The influential Singapore newspaper The Strait’s Times
od of 12-18 months. Oxiana will then have the option of
carried a substantial article about Kalimantan Gold in
earning a 40% stake by the completion of a pre-feasibili-
ty study and 66.67% stake by the completion of a bank- the issue of March 8 2007. The long article tells the
able feasibility study. By this time it will have spent an esti- whole history of the project including its Subud
mated US$37.5 million. connection and its present optimistic prospects. The
article also emphasises the outstanding community
The work programme involves taking each prospect in
turn – initially Beruang, followed by Mansur and then Baroi relations approach of the project. Mansur Geiger is
– and carrying out a thorough review and reinterpretation quoted as saying of the communities connected to
of data in a full 3-D environment. The work will include our mining concessions, ‘The secret is to treat them as
extensive re-logging, re-mapping and re-processing of
geophysical data in order to better define new drill targets.


OXIANA WILL DRILL (continued from page 1) We all can help! We are asking all of you to help minimise the
victims’ misfortune. Your contribution will mean a lot to them.
in two areas: the Jelai-Mewet epithermal gold prospects
There are two main fundraising drives – one from Susila
in East Kalimantan and the copper-gold porphyry
Dharma Indonesia and one from YUM.
prospects in Central Kalimantan.
You can donate through your SD national organisation, SDIA
About Oxiana
via the website by credit card or directly by wire transfer to
Oxiana Limited is an international mining and exploration
SD Indonesia or YUM. When you make a donation to an SD
company listed on the Australian Stock Exchange. With a
organisation, please indicate which activity you want your
market capitalisation of around A$4 billion, Oxiana owns
donation to go to.
and operates the Sepon gold and copper mines in Laos,
the Golden Grove base and precious metals operation in
Contributions can be transferred to the account of:
Western Australia and is developing the Prominent Hill
Yayasan Susila Dharma Indonesia
copper-gold mine in South Australia. The company is also
Bank: BCA Fatmawati, AC No. 0713003741
exploring in Australia, Asia and the Pacific.
Switch Code: CENAIDJA Note: Jakarta Flood
To donate to SD Indonesia by credit card via the SDIA web-
For further information please visit
site go to:
or contact: Rahman Connelly Deputy Chairman and
CEO, Kalimantan Gold
To donate to YUM by credit card via the SDIA website go to:
Telephone: +61 7 552 32298 or +61 418 116 955


news in brief Excerpt from a report by Ami (Nurjatmi)…
On Thursday night was the ‘opening ceremony’ at the World
Trade Centre (WTC). Ibu Rahayu attended the ceremony,
THANKYOU 2007 including delegates from local government. It’s been an
ThankYou 2007 is an international gathering, celebrating 50 honour for us, because Frederic Richard & Osanna Vaughn
years of Subud in the West. It will take place in Ascot, UK, , visited our Congress, also International Helpers from Zone 1,
between August 21st and August 30th 2007. Zone 2 and Zone Rep 5&6.

Further details about this event, including contacts, accom- The ceremony closed with a performance of ‘Dewa Ruci.’
modation, directions and booking information, can be found This wayang dance-drama depicts the life of Bapak
on the official ThankYou 2007 website: Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo.

MSF SEEKS TRUSTEES On the last day of the Congress was a plenary session: Ibu
The Muhammad Subuh Foundation and World Subud Rahayu was present and witnessed testing for Chairman of
Association are requesting nominations for two (2) places on Subud Indonesia. Iwan Samsudin (Jakarta) was selected as
the MSF Board of Trustees. Candidates will be selected from new chairman, Subud Indonesia. And the congress closed
the consideration of CVs by the WSA directors and MSF with Ibu Rahayu striking the ‘Gong.’
trustees and through testing by the International Helpers. This
will take place in August at the World Subud Council meet- SUSILA DHARMA AT PELHAM HOUSE
ing in Ascot, England. Candidates do not have to be present. Pelham House is an historic building in Lewes in the UK which
has been purchased by some members and turned into a
Nominations can be made by National Committees, WSC function and conference centre.
members and MSF trustees. The new trustees are appointed
by the directors of the WSA. Although it is basically a commercial enterprise, it has been
able to host some Subud meetings, most recently Susila
Please send nominations accompanied with CV to: Dharma. SDI Chair, Sharifin Gardiner, writes…
Garrett at and Rohana Mitchell ‘We held board meetings and a conference for Susila
Dharma International members.There were nearly 40 people
JAKARTA FLOOD VICTIMS with delegations from Norway, Germany, France, Britain and
From SD Indonesia… the Netherlands, plus the chairs of SD Canada and SD USA
Flooding in Jakarta for the past few days which is estimated and representatives of the fledgling SD Serbia. We covered a
affected 60–70% of its area has paralysed Jakarta’s every- huge and practical agenda by spending some of the time in
day activities. Even though the flooding has receded in some small discussion groups who reported back to the plena-
areas, heavy rain is still predicted to cause floods again. ry…We seemed to develop an openness and frankness of
discussion in an atmosphere of trust, which bodes well for the
More than 1/3 million of people have fled their houses, future.’
spreading into several shelters all over the city when the
worst flood in years attacked Jakarta. All kinds of diseases VOLUNTEER TEACHERS FOR KALIMANTAN
have started to hit the victims, flu, coughing, fever, diar- The BCU team writes….
rhoea, dysentery and leptospirosis. Some people died from Teachers and Volunteers are needed at Sekolah Bina
drowning, or were electrified, and lots of areas are without Cita Utama, our school in Kalimantan!! There will be a
electricity, clean water. Some transportation vehicles are variety of posts that we are looking to fill, for volunteers
not operating and some roads have been closed. SD and possibly also paid positions. Experience of teach-
Indonesia already set up a team, coordinated by Ridwan ing is desirable, but, especially in the case of volunteer-
Umar, together with youth team to identify Subud mem- ing, not essential. We are looking for native or fluent
bers who are affected by the floods. speakers of English, who enjoy working cont on p 3>

End of an Era
with children (obviously!) and feel inspired to
live in this community and contribute to the development and
learning of our students.
Osanna Vaughn, World Subud Association chairlady,
For further information about our school and the teaching reflects on the S Widjojo AGM...
posts that will be open, please feel free to contact us. On February 10th, 2007,
Utami Geiger (School board): the PT S Widjojo AGM
<> or <> took place at the S
Widjojo Centre in
EARTH SPIRIT Hermione Elliott writes… Jakarta. Much debated
Earth Spirit Centre near Glastonbury, Somerset UK and discussed before-
Why not join us for the Open Circle Retreat 2007 – your hand, the main decision
chance to create a long Subud weekend that’s memorable, to be made at the meet-
inspiring, fulfilling, spiritually regenerative, fun, entertaining, ing was whether or not to
nurturing, creative, sociable and harmonious – the aim being sell the building.
the feeling of well-being for everyone.
It was a historic moment,
I hope this might whet your appetite to come to the Earth as the S Widjojo Centre
Spirit Centre (<>) from Thursday has come to symbolise
10th May at 5.00pm to teatime on Sunday 13 May. Give your- Bapak's encouragement
self a treat – and us too. We look forward to seeing you there. to us to start large enter-
prises; endeavours in WSA chairlady, Osanna Vaughn, reflects
If you’d like more information, or to talk to someone who was which we could learn to on the historic S Widjojo AGM at which
there, contact Osanna (Jones) Whitehouse osanna21@btcon- work together in a new it was decided to sell the building.
(Photo: Viktor Boehm) Lewis Roberts Hermione. way and aim to support not only the World Subud Association, but also our efforts
towards making the world a better place.
We are happy to announce the official creation of the The exchanges preceding the meeting ranged from simply
International Youth Travel Fund (IYTF) within the Muhammad inquisitive to gloomily prophetic and at times bitter and
Subuh Foundation. This fund, set up jointly by MSF and WSA, accusatory; yet a large number of members, starting from
will be coordinated by the International Youth Coordinators, the World Council all the way to individuals on every conti-
Rhyana Blakeley and Hamilton Manley and supported by nent, sought to find a balanced quiet way to support the
ISC, International Helpers and of course MSF. process, with a prayer that the best possible outcome might
be the result.
The purpose of the fund is to help young Subud members to
become familiar with and involved in Subud events and Clear Majority
activities, thus it will serve mainly to help them attend meet- Now we know that a clear majority of shareholders voted
ings or to do volunteer work for Susila Dharma. Three young for the sale of the building. The AGM – at which I and the
people have already benefited from grants from the fund. deputy chairman, Frederic Richard, were present, as well
as WSC member and Zone 5&6 Rep, Lateef Dada-Bashua
An application form is available in five languages and it – unfolded in a businesslike and respectful, if at times
includes the application procedure. The application form is somewhat precipitous, manner. Attendees were able to
on-line under ‘SYA’ on the ISC/WSA page of <www.subud- ask more detailed questions and express concerns, which> were answered with clarity. In just around 3 hours the
board of directors' proposal to sell had been accepted.
FINDING THE LIGHT A personal account of discovering the
meaning of life by Siti Muti'ah Lestiono... I was relieved and happy that this process had gone
I have written this book as a testament and a chronicle of the smoothly, while fully involving any who wanted to partici-
miracle of Subud. I don't expect anyone to believe or disbe- pate; and I thank all those who lent it their inner support
lieve it, because I have told it like it was and is. There are some and prayers. I do believe this makes a difference, as it
who might say I exaggerated or read things into incidents can also make a difference in the times ahead.
that were not really there. Maybe I did, but that's the way I
saw things at the time. The closing of In retrospective, however, I and
Frederic realised that a certain
Subud is a phenomenon for today, yet it's as old as this earth. one exciting, element had been missing.
Perhaps it came into this world at this time because man has While Diana Wild-Smith was
deviated from the original intention of being here. People hopeful, given a chance to read a perti-
need desperately to see with their own eyes and understand nent extract from a talk of
with their own feelings that God is always there, directing and tumultuous, Bapak's, and Daniel Cheifetz
guiding us. All we need to do is tune in. This is my story. Take challenging, spoke eloquently about the
from it what you will. road ahead and the hope that
heartbreaking Bapak's vision for enterprise
Siti Muti'ah Lestiono resident of Wisma Subud has made her might be carried forward, we
book, Finding the Light available on Undiscovered Worlds era, and the did not, all together as Subud
Press, where it can be read online (along with the wonderful members present at this occa-
l writings of other Subud members), or purchased in print beginning of a sion, really acknowledge just

new one what a significant
cont on p4>
moment it was: the closing of one exciting, hopeful, beautiful Sierra Nevada mountains, a few minutes walk from
tumultuous, challenging and, at times, heartbreaking era, the cluster of Subud members’ houses and the town of Orgiva.
but also the beginning of a new one.
It is a large building on three floors, which when renovated
We have learnt so much over the past thirty to forty years will total nearly 1000sq mts of space, comprising meeting and
– through trial and error, through success and failure, and, performance rooms, kitchen, café, and bedroom accom-
I believe, we have reached a new maturity. modation. There is also a very beautiful walled garden.

It was a pity that we did not take the time at the end of The works so far have been carried out to a very high stan-
the meeting to reflect on all this – where we have been dard and it is clear to see what great potential the building
and where we are going –, to celebrate a historic has as a venue both for Subud and the community.
moment and to thank Almighty God that, in spite of our
shortcomings, we are still being blessed with the amazing However, the project has been beset by difficulties as
gift of the latihan and the guidance that we may choose Sebastian explains below and in September last year a
to follow. I invite you to all do so now. Spirit of Enterprise meeting was held at the Alpujarra
group in Orgiva in support of the project.
What Next?
Now, assuming the sale of the building proceeds accord- Testing showed that the project has great significance for
ing to plan, the question is: what next? the International Subud Association and for the local com-
munity. It is this aspect of the project that is really vital, the
I returned home the following day after six weeks of trav- Molino having the potential to be a window on Subud.
el. Among all the post waiting for me was a copy of
Volume 15 of Bapak's talks. I opened it randomly and It was felt that the project now needed the support of a
found a passage where Bapak talks about perseverance. team, and four Subud members were tested in to have a
He encouraged us to always continue making efforts, role on this team, as well as Sebastian and Pamela and a
learning from the past, without abandoning a good idea, non Subud member, Jayne Morley, who has considerable
but trying out new approaches with new insight, as often experience in managing commercially successful cultural
as necessary till we succeed. venues.

S Widjojo Enterprises, established by the PT S Widjojo However, as Sebastian explains, he no longer feels this is the right
board to carry the vision forward, hopes to become one way forward. Read on to see Sebastian’s current thoughts…
vehicle through which we may continue to work togeth-
er on supporting the development of Subud enterprises; At last I feel like writing something about life and projects.
other proposals or formats may arise from other quarters.
Whatever form the future takes, I hope that we will perse- My partner, our children and myself live in Orgiva,
vere with the idea of enterprise – from individual endeav- Andalusia Espana. We have been here two years and we
ours to large-scale projects involving many. are working, living the Molino Benizalte project.

It is here that we can really know how far we have come From a certain point of view this project is an ‘accident of
in our development, because it is here that we are tested Faith’. I say this because Pamela and I had harboured,
and can recognise the outer expression of our inner real- nurtured and cultivated within our beings a vision of a
ity. Bapak always spoke about latihan and enterprise – place - a place of humanity, human interaction, a place
side by side. The latihan touches our inner, cleansing, to demonstrate the positive side of human creativity and
repairing and transforming; through our enterprises and imagination.
endeavours we are able to express all this in the outer
world. I had managed to completely
and utterly convince myself, one
I look for a
Of course, it takes courage – we all know that; it takes a
leap of faith to step beyond our own, individual clever-
hundred percent and more, that
we had enough money to realise
ness, and to create a space within our practical work, this place. Over a period of nearly
eighteen months I had achieved
that will
where we can be guided by something beyond our own
expectations, convictions and personal self-interest. total conviction that the sale of vibrate in
our property in Devon would
I am confident that, if we persevere, our efforts will bear release the funds to carry forward recognition
the fruits that we all hope for.

Molino Benizalte
• our vision.

A phone call and the sudden realisation of how I had

duped myself was a really big shock.

Sebastian Blakely is an English Subud member who has What now?

carried out a number of projects where he has bought The ‘what now!’ took at least 24 hours to even grasp. Here
derelict buildings in Europe and then renovated them. we were in Spain with a magnificent ruin, some very sup-
His latest project is Molino Benizalte in Spain which he is portive friends and family, a great vision but not a penny.
carrying out with his partner Pamela Lassalle. Sebastian
and Pamela bought the mill nearly two years ago and That was all approximately two years ago. We’d
since that time have struggled to find the finance to com- purchased the Molino, borrowed money against
plete the renovation works. the sale of Dunmore House in England and relo-
cated to Spain. It has really been a process of try-
The building is a 17th C. olive mill set in the foothills of the ing to put the pieces back together cont on p5>
again ever since that 24 hours What could happen?
two years ago. So where are we? What’s happening and what could
God knows how we have sur-
vived, and God I’m sure, knows We have Jayne Morley, Pamela Lassalle, and myself
what is in store for us. We have Sebastian Blakely. We have Molino Benizalte, a beautiful
talked, negotiated, worked, 17th Century building, constructed of roman brick with
talked, negotiated and worked lime, mortar and stone paneling, a Mediterranean style
for two years. The Molino very tiled roof, walled garden, and amazing views. We have
slowly transforms from a ruin into a huge amount of restoration to do.
something that illuminates and
attracts. We have a business plan, dance, theatre, photography,
film, music workshops, spiritual seminars, concerts, mini
I lie awake at night, I do my lati- festivals, cinema, art exhibitions, religious ceremonies,
han, and I converse with God. I and straightforward tourism.
The 17th-century building really try and perceive what it is
being renovated that we should do? When I’m We have a lot of borrowing presently negotiated on the
working, bricks and mortar on the short term. We have a clear vision, energy, motivation,
Molino, I feel close to God. It would feel unnatural for me to and conviction.
block the spontaneous ‘Allah u Akbar’ that wells out of my
mouth. I feel at one with the universe and I know, deeply
what to do.

I look for a solution of possible ways forward. I look for a

solution that will vibrate in recognition. I feel hard, tough,
unbending, and resolute that I will recognise the most
‘intelligent’ solution, the ‘right’ solution.

The Potential of the Project

I guess the testing at the Spirit of Enterprise meeting in
September 2006 at Orgiva allowed me some respite in my
personal predicaments. The ‘potential’ of the project was
felt by all. There is a very strong vibration with this project
and there is an undeniable illumination also.
Molino Benizalte, the 17th-century building in Orgiva, Spain
The Spirit of Enterprise meeting apart from establishing a
collective recognition of the ‘project’s potential’ also, We are currently doing funding applications, grant appli-
through testing, put together an ‘emergency team’ of cations, a small amount of site work, two concerts, and
local Subud members to try and sort out the present situ- three weddings.
ation and establish a way forward.
This place is needed here. Public interest and atten-
However, as time has gone on, I have become increasing- dance, plus local market research, very clearly demon-
ly convinced that this is not the solution. I have a gut feel- strate a need. Internationally, the place is special
ing that if we attempt to categorise this project as a Subud enough to attract guests and professionals. The building
Enterprise, with the induction of management through offers great potential for growth of its facilities.
testing, this project will fail. This feeling is so strong it causes
me anguish. I see and feel people around me who are Orgiva is a rapidly changing and evolving environment
offended by my apparent dismissal of their wish to help, of their with a large percentage of the population acutely
‘received’ and perceived involvement in the project. attuned to the progressive social and spiritual needs of
western society with its associated environment-friendly
It is an incredibly exhausting place to be in. We need and sustainable consciousness.
more team members and we need money. The overrid-
ing push from the Spirit of Enterprise meeting and from the A collective Subud investment could own part of the
resulting ‘Subud’ team has been in the direction of building, or the building and project could easily include
shared ownership/equal status management team. a serious financial partner.
Sadly I am convinced this has doom written all over it.
As a team we feel close to a solution. Fundamentally, we feel
So without offence to anyone, without any need to point that all we are missing is that serious, active like-minded busi-
fingers or blame anyone, all I can say is that I have a ness partner or a straight forward investor, be they another
vision. Pamela, my partner, can see and feel this vision. family, couple or single person, but with at least 300,000? to
Jayne Morley (who is not wealthy and is not doing the lati- invest. Then and only then do we have a clear road.
han) has been working closely with us now for six months
and she can see and feel this vision. We have a fantastic May I take this opportunity to sincerely thank all of you
property and we have a fantastic project. who have helped so far with this project

We also have a lot of people who have helped financial- For more information, contact Sebastian Blakeley or
ly. We have a lot of people who support the project and Pamela Lassalle 0034 958 784 479
bolster our morale, thank you all profoundly.

mobile 00 34 639 77 00 29


In truth this is a personal matter, but although it is a person-
Ibu Rahayu al matter, it is a common problem. By common problem I
mean that this state is now thought to be normal. But
according to the story, or so it is told, there was a prophet

Talk called Adam. God created Adam, a man. And in order

to bring children into this world, God created Eve. So,
God created Adam and Eve.

But as humankind progressed in the world, due to con-

What Next? flicting ideas, there were times when parents wanted a
male child – this was greatly desired in the past – they did

and Other Questions not want a girl.

As a result, when a girl was born, the parents dressed it like

Ibu Rahayu’s Questions and Answers with Members a boy, but in fact it was a girl. So that girl was turned into
Tokyo, Japan 14 August, 2006 RECORDING 06 TYO 2 an imitation man – an imitation born of the parents’
Final Translation by Raymond Lee desire. Not an imitation caused by some other cause, but
Copyright © by the World Subud Association. All rights reserved. formed by the human mind. In consequence, when the
child grew up it would behave like a man. But it was born
Before we start, I need to say that I do not know what you a woman. Well, that is one of the causes. Another is the
are going to ask, but I hope your questions will not be people the child mixes with, and so on.
about marital problems and the like, but they will be
about our spiritual path. In fact, the latihan will lead one to discover one’s true
individuality. That is why Bapak encouraged men to
And apart from that, if I cannot answer a question, I ask behave like men – to dress like a man and speak like a
for your forgiveness. I am not a dictionary. If I were a dic- man. Do not imitate a woman, because doing so can
tionary all the answers would be in here. [Ibu indicates her cause someone’s nature to change.
forehead] But they are not, I am completely blank.
As it turned out this has caused many problems which are
Please start. One by one. Well? Are there no questions? not God's fault, but humankind’s fault.
[Ibu laughs] Now the tables are turned – I am not exam-
ining you, you are examining me. [laughter] In one of Bapak’s talks, Bapak said that if you enjoy doing
something and you give it more importance than any-
Question: Is it ok to ask something private, which is personal? thing else, it will become part of your character; it will
change your character. You may start out just pretending,
Ibu: Not if it is personal, not in front of many people. If it is but that behaviour becomes part of your character.
about the latihan, OK. If it is a personal problem that con- Once it is part of your character, it is very hard to change.
cerns the latihan, that is also OK. It is one with you.

Q: His question is where is the best place for him to If you ask who is at fault? We do not know. We leave that
receive well or best? Which part of his body can receive to God, because only God knows everything. This is one of
best? the secrets of life, because it is not only that person’s char-
acter that changes, but their feelings and physical body
Ibu: He should feel that for himself. I cannot feel it. I can- change too – the physical body of the person concerned.
not go in there. He can test that for himself.
As such, we cannot blame anyone. Well, of course, a mis-
Q: I feel it vaguely, but I am not convinced. take was made, but as for whose fault that is, we leave
that to God. That is why the latihan is an opportunity for
Ibu: He must have faith in himself. When we test we must you to uncover – to uncover and find your true individual-
have faith and ask God to show us. If he cannot feel it for ity. God willing, provided you have a firm intention to find
himself, he has to get help from God. God it, God will show you how.
will show him. We cannot say whether the
mouth can receive best, or whether the
If you enjoy What is the next step?
feet can receive best, at times other parts
will receive better.
doing something Q: Subud has been spreading in the world
for fifty years and many things have hap-
pened, to this day. Though the growth of
On Sexuality and you give it Subud differs in each country, what stage
Q: I would like to ask you a question. I am does Ibu see that Subud as a whole is in
not sure whether my question is appropri- more importance today? What is needed for us to go to the
ate or not, but what I would like to ask is next step? And also about Subud Japan.
about sexuality nowadays, in this modern than anything
age, the boundary is becoming less and Ibu: Given the state of the world now, not
less clear. Can Ibu make some comment else, it will only is Subud 50 years old, but this world is
on what it means to be a woman and now old too. In consequence, there are
what it means to be a man? become part of many catastrophes which are beyond the
capacity of humankind to control. Some
Ibu: Well, whether the times are modern or
old, the problem is the same.
your character. events are caused by humankind's mis-
takes, but others are brought cont on p7>

about by the power of Almighty God. Subud Japan should do. This is general advice. As I just said,
we surrender to God. We diligently prepare ourselves by cre-
In the face of these events, people have begun to realise ating a clean place within us, a place where we are surren-
that humankind is powerless in comparison to the power dered, where we have faith in God. We need to clean our
of God, or what God can do if God wants to. being [Ibu indicates herself] and prepare it so that whatev-
er we request, God will hear it, God will feel it.
In consequence, these days, individuals and even reli-
gions are asking who really rules this world or this universe. What you ask for is up to you. You can pray for Japan to
Perhaps, in the past, each religion thought that it was the be protected by God, to be kept safe, or something like
true one, that it was the religion that God most favoured that. Or you can pray for the salvation of humankind, for
and so on. all human beings that have been created by God, for
everyone to get God's grace and protection. We leave
But as human understanding has grown, many people everything to God. What we pray for is up to us.
have questions in their hearts. In answer, there is a kind of
banner for them now – by banner, I mean Subud – which But please understand that if you make a request that
is what everyone is looking for, but they do not know many other people pray for too, which is motivated by a
where or how to find it. I say they are looking for it, feeling of community and acceptance and is without self-
because they cannot see what Subud is, because Subud interest, God willing, God will grant it.
is inside each Subud member. People will only be able to
understand what Subud is when you can truly behave like How can progress be seen?
Subud people. Q: Some of us are wondering in what way the progress
within can be seen as a result of our doing latihan. In the
As an example, when we pray – I am not trying to extol talk Ibu gave us last night Ibu mentioned that the result of
Subud – but when you pray, when you pray sincerely, our latihan is that we will be able to be aware of our true
your prayer will have already reached God. But for peo- state or true identity. We shall be pleased if Ibu will give us
ple not in Subud, who are not Subud members, perhaps further explanation about it.
their prayers do not reach God.
Ibu: Obviously, it is not possible for me to show each of
You should feel proud about this. But feeling proud does you your individual state. As I said earlier, Subud cannot
not mean that you can become arrogant. You might get be seen, but it can be felt. The one who can feel it is the
arrogant and think, ‘Oh, Subud is God’s religion!’ It is not. person who has that feeling. Look at your own experi-
ence in life, feel for yourself, ‘Is my life,’ say, ‘better now
So, even religions know, or ought to know, about the than it was before?’ You can all test that yourself. Even if
power of God that is All Powerful. Therefore it is not a reli- your testing is still unreliable, it does not matter; it just
gion’s Prophet or Messenger who is great, it is not Bapak means there are still faults in you. So, do not just look at
who is great. God is great. But people think that the per- what is good about you. An example of what is good
son who was the Messenger was great, was always right. could be, ‘I do latihan every day and I never miss a lati-
No! They were just Messengers from God. han.’ And yet at the same time you ask, ‘But why can't I
receive, why is my latihan just the same?’
So in this situation, what can Subud do? All we can do is
pray, pray to God. Other people will not realise what we The problem is you do not look at the bad things about
do. Only God and you know. you. You overlook your bad points, you forget about your
faults, because it is very hard to recognise your own faults
If you ask, ‘But, what else can we do?’ we can only pray. and mistakes. ‘If I can’t feel the latihan yet,’ for example,
Should we help by going to fight, for instance, or should ‘what is it that am I doing wrong?’ You have to look at your faults.
we back a particular religion to strengthen it? No! We
pray to God to ask God to intervene and bring about a There are all kinds of faults, not just stealing, for example.
resolution. That is the only way. We do not need Subud If you dislike someone, that is a mistake. If you lie to some-
soldiers. We do not need Subud preachers. one, that is a mistake. So there are very many kinds of mis-
takes, but you are not aware of them, and you make
On this subject, when questions like this come up, the allowances for your own mistakes.
international helpers should answer them, so that Subud
members will know how to face the commotion in the In this regard, as I said earlier, if you want to know how
world. In truth, religion is not at fault. However, religion is far you have got, by testing with you, you can feel for
not pure anymore. It is no longer a pure wor- yourself whether you can receive what I ask
ship and surrendering to Almighty God.
Religion has become mixed up in politics –
It is very hard when I test with you. If you can, it shows
there is a connection between the power of
human politics. Politics is a product of the God and the power that is working inside
mind. And, of course, the human mind only to recognise you. It does not mean that I do something
pursues its own self-interest. to you. I am just a channel. If I had to test
each of you individually, I would not have
A question like this cannot be answered in your own the strength. I am only one person; some-
one or two words. It turns into a talk. times there are hundreds of you. It would be
impossible for me to do this myself.
I just explained what Subud people need to faults and
do, and that also applies to Subud members in God and Buddhism
Japan. There is nothing different, there is noth- Q Many ordinary Japanese still follow our tra-
ing special that Subud Indonesia should do, or mistakes ditional Buddhist customs and have no clear
cont on p 8 >

image of the one God Almighty. There exists some difficulty
of explaining about Subud to those people. Could Ibu
give us some advice? I N N E R
Ibu: Well, this is also about seeking the truth. I mean that,
naturally, I am not in a position to comment, because I do
not know about Buddhism. I am not a Buddhist. I speak as
a Subud member who was granted a witnessing. I do not
claim that what I witnessed is true or not, but what I expe-
Edited by Ilaina Lennard
rienced did not come about by my will, or anybody else’s Inner Voice welcomes new stories and letters
will. It was the will of the One who created me.
NOTE: Ilaina’s new e-mail:
It is clear to me that I exist because God created me.
God is the highest power that existed before anything
else existed and will exist after everything else has gone.
The Story of Subud Voice
There is nothing higher than God. ‘Sometimes our Subud experiences don’t seem very spiri-
tual – they aren’t about visions, inner voices or even
In answer to this question, when it comes to Buddhism, I memorable latihans, they just feel quite normal. I think
do not want to comment on something that I do not that’s because they’re ‘the latihan of life’.. At least that’s
understand, on a subject where I have no experience. how it seemed to be for me, when I beganSubud Voice.’
But if you are a Buddhist, you should find out for yourself – Ilaine Lennard
by following this Subud path which God has given to you,
where you can experience this for yourself. Because ‘Begin’
everything is within you, all human knowledge is inside In 1961, during the first months after I was opened, every
you. I believe that above everything there is only God. time I went to latihan and stood barefoot with the others
in that darkened room, waiting for a helper to say ‘begin’
If you want to witness this, if you want to know – that is if I wondered what on earth I was doing there. I felt no spe-
you dare – you can test where Buddha is and where the cial bond with the other members - but it wasn't long
power of God is. Then, of course, there is something before this changed.
above Buddha. There is only one God. There is not a God
that looks like this and another God that looks like that. Without knowing how it happened, I just began to have
There is not a God that looks Javanese and a God that a sense of family towards any other Subud member.
looks Japanese. There is one God and God has no form. These truly were my brothers and sisters it seemed. What's
If you ask, ‘Where is God?’ God envelops everything. If more, before I was opened I had felt quite wary of peo-
you test, ‘Where is God?’ you disappear. This vanishes. ple who were black or coloured.
[Ibu indicates her self].
But now, mysteriously, I had lost any feeling of antipathy
This is also something for you to explore or find out for your- towards them. Nor was I any longer aware of other barri-
self, even if you are a Buddhist. I cannot know, for exam- ers; class was no barrier, age was no barrier, skin colour
ple if, as a Buddhist, when you do latihan you feel it or not. was no barrier. Not any more. I felt close to everyone.

Ibu (to Sharif]: Tell them about Scherto’s experience. She It happened so naturally that I didn't think much about it,
could not acknowledge God existed, because in China but now I realise that even then, so long ago, something
they are not taught about God. But when she was in me had already taken a very significant step – I had
opened, [the helper said], ‘In that case, just have faith in been given that 'universal' feeling which many years later
the highest power in religion. In whatever you believe.’ was to inspire me to startSubud Voice.
Then she started to move, and she is still doing latihan.
Bapak spoke a lot about the importance of being at home
Sharif: Ibu asked me to tell the story of Scherto Ruoshi, within our own natures, and I think that when I started using
who is a friend of ours and a Subud sister, who was my talents, as I did when I began my first enterprise, and
opened in England, but she was born in China in later when I beganSubud Voice, I came nearer to the real-
Manchuria and grew up in Beijing. So, when she came ity of his words. For example there were these extracts from
before her opening...maybe Tuti should tell the story a talk he gave in Cilandak on February 16th 1980:
because she was there.
‘There is one thing only that is required of us, which is to
Tuti: She did not believe in God, so when we opened her be at home within our own natures… if you can do this, if
I had to replace the word God with the Great Life Force. you can really always be within
And then after I said the opening words, she could There is one yourself, within your own nature,
receive. In fact, after she finished the latihan she had to you will be able to know the
wait in the room, while we did a cleansing latihan. Ibu thing only that answer to whatever question is pre-
sented to you. Because if you are
Rahayu came and Ibu Rahayu saw that she was still shak- is required of at home Almighty God is able to
ing. And now she really believes in God. In fact, all her stu-
dents asked her, ‘Oh, please pray to your God that I will us, which is to guide you, is able to help you with
get a visa to go to England.’ Then they got it. whatever you are facing at that
be at home moment...
Ibu: That is all.. within our ‘That is the test of whether you
own natures have done the latihan or not,
because the meaning cont on p 9>

of the latihan kejiwaan is the practice of God’s Will for mailing cost would have been prohibitive. Also material just
you in your everyday life – it is a putting into practice didn’t come in sufficient quantity in those days.
God’s Will for you in your everyday life. So to check
whether you can do it or not you can simply see how you The fact that there was a considerable time lag before
perform in your everyday life.’ the first issue actually appeared was characteristic of
how things so often are in Subud - there is difficulty getting
Isolation in Northern Ireland started. This was something I already knew would hap-
Not long after my husband Lawrence and I were opened, pen, as I had become aware of it in my other Subud under-
he was sent to work in Belfast, and during the next 18 takings. So I simply noted it rather than feeling frustrated.
years there I really did feel very isolated at times. I treas-
ured letters from Subud friends, and some were wonder- Later ISC moved to Australia and my newssheet stopped,
ful at writing to me. When these letters came it was as if because a more sophisticated newspaper was produced there.
my thirsty inner had been given a drink of water.
But at the time, I never would have thought that the little
Of course at the time I had no idea where this feeling – newssheet I was producing in the early 1980’s was really
and it was like a constant homesickness – would eventu- the forerunner of Subud Voice.
ally lead me. It's so important to trust that difficult times
have a purpose for us, because with hindsight I recognise 1987 – Bapak dies
that this time of loneliness was an important experience – There can have been few times in any spiritual or religious
in fact the beginning of what was one day to movement, when an editor has been faced - in Issue
becomeSubud Voice. Number One - with announcing the death of the Founder of
the Movement. But was it really just by chance that the first
I would not otherwise have understood so clearly, what phys- issue ofSubud Voice carried the news of Bapak’s death?
ical isolation can mean to Subud people, and how much
some of them long for that 'drink of water' – that Subud 'con-I had for several months been thinking about how this
tact' with others worldwide, at least once a next little newsletter might be done, but of
month. If you can be course without realising what the content of its
within your first issue was going to be.
When later our family returned to England, we
decided to live near where Anugraha was own nature, At that time, I just had a strong wish to draw us
being built. But even before we left Belfast,
people would often ask me, ‘What are you
you will be all together through this publication - it would
be something small, that everyone could
going to do when you get to England, Ilaine?’ able to know afford, but coming regularly each month. I did
not at first envisage it as being international,
And I would answer, ‘I don’t know, but I think
the answer to though it seemed that even in Britain there was
it’s going to be something to do with commu- whatever a real need.
question is But now that Bapak had actually died, I felt this
And indeed that was so. As soon as we presented to little vehicle was so inadequate; so little could be
arrived I felt compelled to take a notebook said in it that would in any way do justice to the
everywhere I went, because of wanting to you. event. However, there was nothing to be done
share with those isolated others, what I saw happening about that. I just had to BEGIN, as Bapak might have said.
around me at Anugraha and elsewhere.
During the selamatans at Anugraha that followed
The forerunner Bapak’s death, I felt so much love for my Subud brothers
It was Luqman McKingley who first suggested I do an and sisters. I had such a feeling of wanting to bring this
international newssheet. It turned out to be the forerunner large family together so that they could share the event
ofSubud Voice and I remember making a four-page and their sense of loss and to some extent comfort each
mock-up of how I saw it in style and content. I enjoyed this other.
tremendously. Next, ISC provided a pile of papers as news
material, and I read them through avidly. I felt full of lati- When I had pasted up the first issue (just four pages), I
han vibrations every time I took up those papers. remember how Hartley Ramsay - who so professionally
edited our beautiful glossy SUBUD WORLD, came to see
I had a clear idea of how this newsletter should look – I me. I laid out the new baby on our dining room table, so
saw it as something very light and short and easy to read he could look it over. ‘Oh..!’ said Hartley, in his soft Scottish
and somehow friendly and inviting. I even asked Dirk voice, as I opened the 4 pages, ‘OHHH..!’
Campbell to do the headlines in his own handwriting, and
decided each issue should be a different colour. The font He said this with such gentle respect that I might have
used was to be like that of a typewriter. been showing him the Crown jewels. I can only suppose
that at that moment Hartley was either supremely tactful
This little paper would go out every fortnight if possible, so or that he must have foreseen how much this little baby
that Subud’s news could travel round the world much was going to grow.
faster than hitherto. If this was to happen however, it had
to be short - hardly a newspaper, it was just a newssheet. The first SVs never had more than four pages, though
eventually they had sixteen. I had to type the text on an
I heard later that Luqman was rather disconcerted by what electric typewriter, then cut it out and paste it onto paper
it looked like - maybe he’d pictured something more like a on which I made ruled pencil lines.
real newspaper. But that would have been impossible - no
one would have paid for such a large publication and the I did this with immense care and an equal cont on p 10 >

lack of professionalism, because in those days I hadn’t very weak, a weak reed, given to doubts and recidivism.
got a computer or Desk Top Publishing. I even took the Not done much for the cause. Yet in my life in Subud God
text downtown to a printer, to get it reduced to the has given me one opportunity after another to do mar-
appropriate size. vellous and exciting things, and being the editor of Subud
Voice is one of the most recent of these. God has given
The titles were done with Letraset, and I could never align me so many graces and blessings and pathways to salva-
the letters straight enough. But I’ll never forget how tion, andSubud Voice is one of them.
strongly the latihan went through me as I worked - and I
felt so happy too, even though at the end of the first three Well, it comes round again, the time of the month when I
months I only had 47 subscriptions! have to start work on Subud Voice. So I gather together all the
stuff I've collected and I sit down in a mad flurry of activity.
Would I ever have believed it?
It is one of those miracles of my Subud life to compare Of course some of the material I receive is beautifully writ-
that early time with 14 years later, when I had to give up ten when it arrives and hardly needs a touch from me.
as SV editor. By then SV had grown to 16 pages, was Some other contributions are more of a struggle. You
going to around 61 countries world-wide, and sometimes often feel within them some grain of truth, some impor-
had a circulation of up to 1300, of which 200 copies were tant thing that needs to be told, and this person should
when possible, produced in Spanish (Laurencio Young not be disadvantaged just because they are not good at
and Paloma de la Vina), French (Salman Anglesio) and writing or English is not their first language.
for a short time even Indonesian, thanks to Gutomo.
So I might struggle at that hours and hours to try and
When it began, I would never have believed that such a make something of it. It can be a very time-consuming
thing could happen. Its original 47 subscriptions grew to job, correcting all the commas and on.
over 1100 subs – though not without a tremendous, time-
consuming and continuous effort on my part. But when I have expended my energy of flurry, I move
into a deeper energy. And it is energy of appreciation. I
Then in 2001 Harris Smart came to my rescue as the new give thanks to God, how grateful I am that I should be
Editor along with Bradford Temple doing admin and also editor ofSubud Voice which enables me to be so plugged
the support of Rahman Connelly. Then Marcus Bolt took into the Subud world. Through my work on Subud Voice I
over the lay-out. I can never thank them enough, for it really feel connected to the Subud World and all the won-
was due to their timely take-over that Subud Voice was derful and amazing things that are going on in it.
able to continue and become as it is today.
Easy to Get Depressed?
NOTE : Ilaine would like to publish a series of small books Of course it is very easy to get depressed about Subud
about her life in Subud, which include the story ofSubud and about one's own personal progress. And lately there
Voice, extracts from which appear above. She hopes the have been a lot of e-mails about the sale of S. Widjojo
first book could be in time for the Thankyou Celebrations and people arguing about this and that and deploring
in England this August. this, that and the other thing.
However, at present she has no money available for pub-
lication, and only if some generous readers of SV sponsor And it is very easy to focus on some area of annoyance
the book, could it be done. or irritation, and fail to see all the many, many marvellous
Do get in touch if you might consider doing this. And things that are going on.
please, as soon as possible.
Ilaine’s e-mail is and the tel. no. is If you just take the News in Brief page for example, what
(44) (0)1344 451851. All profits from sales would go to a lot of wonderful things are going on. Here you have all
Subud Voice.

Let Us Applaud Ourselves
these people in England beavering away to make a
ThankYou 2007 for us. We applaud you.

Then there is a wonderful International Youth Fund to

enable young people to go out and have all kinds of
Harris Smart writes… enriching and worthwhile experiences that will enable
them to express their youthful idealism, and grow as
Me. Would you like to hear about my experience as edi- human beings and, ultimately, enrich all of us. What a
tor ofSubud Voice? wonderful thing is MSF and all its programs. A round of
applause, please!
You. Not really. Do I have any choice?
Then you have the people at the BCU School in
Me. No, not really. I'm going to fill up this space with it Kalimantan. And what an extraordinary project that is,
whether you like it or not. Of course you always have the that some people should just go and set up a school in
option of moving on to something more to your taste. the wilds of Kalimantan on a shoestring, and it is proving
. to be a most remarkable success. Let us applaud them.
You. Okay. If I have no choice…get on with it.
Then you have this story about the Susila Dharma meeting
Me. All I wanted to say was how much I enjoyed being at Pelham House, and what an amazing story that is on so
the editor ofSubud Voice. No, more than that. How really many different levels. It brings up the whole exciting
important it is to me. What a gift I consider it to be. What Lewes story and how some Subud members there have
a privilege. What a blessing from God. pooled their resources, and taken the risk, and learned
how to work together to create this project in the historic
I consider myself to be a very poor sort of Subud member, Pelham House. And now Pelham House is cont on p 11>

able to help Subud by being a venue for meetings such organisation in the world which can boast a former
as Susila Dharma. And with the mere mention of the word Bluebell as its chair. Let us applaud and celebrate that!
Susila Dharma, you are instantly connected to all these
extraordinary projects that Susila Dharma does all around Then there is an article by Ilaina Lennard telling is the
the world. Let us pause for applause. amazing story of how Subud Voice was born. Let us cele-
brate Ilaina Lennard. What a treasure she is! How much
And so on and so on and so on. So many marvellous proj- she has done! What an example she has set for all of us
ects and wonderful people. And, of course, inSubud Voice with her dedication and hard work..
each month we only ever see the tiny tip of the iceberg of
all the wonderful things that are happening in Subud. Then there is the final part of the three-part series we have
run on the story of Lailah Armstrong. What an inspiring story
Isaac Goff in Bolivia that is of someone who had to encounter the most extraor-
Another story in this issue I was really taken by was the one dinary difficulties even to get into Subud, and then once she
about Isaac Goff and his work supporting projects in was in, she faced another step of extraordinary difficulties.
Bolivia. What an extraordinary person is Isaac Goff! Let us Now she has come through to be able to do the extraordi-
applaud Isaac Goff, pioneer entrepreneur and humani- nary, international, exciting work she now does with ICDP.
tarian. Go and read the story and you will find out what I mean. Let us applaud that story and this remarkable woman!

Then there is the story about the work of

Susila Dharma Indonesia with the victims of Let your Let us celebrate Bapak who is quoted in
Ilaina's article. A few years ago I would not
the Jakarta Flood. When you think about it, have understood what Bapak was talking
what extraordinary demands have been achievements about here. But now I understand it more. As
made upon Susila Dharma Indonesia in we go on in the latihan, more and more we
recent years. Three major catastrophes. The
tsunami, the Jogja earthquake, and now
be my experience the dimensions of Bapak’s talks.

the worst floods in Jakarta's history. How can

Susila Dharma Indonesia cope? But some-
achievements, And of course we must celebrate God, the
Maker of All, the Sustainer of the Universe, to
how it does. It keeps giving and giving and whom we owe everything even that we exist
giving. There is no ‘compassion exhaustion’ let your at all. So we have nothing to complain of
here, but real action instead. Let us applaud but only to celebrate that we have been
Susila Dharma Indonesia. Even more, let us
send them some money to help them keep
sorrows be given the gift of existence. And not only that,
but also our quite amazing human con-
up their great work.
my sorrows sciousness.

And I see that Muti’ah Lestiono has written And also God is continually laying before us
her life story. That should be a good read from this pathways to salvation, opportunities for correction and
American woman long resident in Indonesia. She's been growth, in order to make the most of our sojourn here on
Ibu Rahayu’s long-term secretary, you know. I think that Earth, and our preparation for the life hereafter.
deserves a round of applause, don't you?
Inspiring and Amazing
And of course we applaud Ibu Rahayu, who in this issue You see how every issue of Subud Voice brings me in con-
skillfully and courteously fields some curly questions tact with the most uplifting, inspiring and reassuring stories,
thrown at her by the Japanese members, including an confirming for me that I went down the right path when I
extremely curly one about gender issues. chose to go down the path of Subud.

What else excites me in this issue? There is a great enter- Every month these amazing and inspiring stories come in
prise story from Spain, a real ‘blood and guts of enter- to me from the Subud world, and I try and shape them
prise’ story. Let us applaud Sebastian and Pamela, and all into aSubud Voice. Sometimes I feel a bit like a masseur or
who sail with them, who have set out on that perilous sea a potter, massaging and shaping the raw material. Or a
called ‘enterprise’. baker kneading some dough to make a loaf. Pushing
here, and pulling there, and squeezing here, to try and
Then there is our front-page story, another chapter in the make a well shaped loaf.
adventures of those brave souls who have been trying so
hard for so many years to make that mining work in I really believe that every Subud Voice I do has a special
Kalimantan, which if it works finally, will change all our for- meaning. As I work into the material,Subud Voice yields
tunes, and change all our failures into nothing less than up its secrets to me. It tells me what is going to be the
stepping stones to success. They deserve several rounds inner essence or meaning of Subud Voice this month, the
of applause and at least three hip hip hoorays. theme. I actually feel every month that the way Subud
Voice is, is the way it has to be.
Then there is Osanna Vaughn, our WSA chairlady, writing
about the historic S. Widjojo meeting. She so intelligent, so I just have to listen to the material as carefully as I can and it
tall, so friendly, so approachable, so down-to-earth, so shapes itself into what Subud Voice is supposed to be that
diligent, so sincere, so committed and so natural. She is month. Of course, if someone else was doing the job it might
always spreading hope and harmony wherever she goes. be a different Subud Voice each month, but in so far as I am
Not only that, she is also multi-talented. She creates imag- doing the job, I feel it finds its own right and necessary form in
inary landscapes and I hear that now she has even writ- so far as I am able to give shape to each issue.
ten a fantasy novel. As well as that, she sings and plays
the guitar, especially striking when she does it with her The Meaning of the 50th Anniversary
twin sister, Maya. And just tell me of one other spiritual At our recent Subud Australia Congress in cont on p 12 >

Byron Bay, we had a thing called Open Space
Technology. This is a technique for enabling people to
bring their ideas forward, and connect with other people,
Isaac in Bolivia
and hopefully shape their ideas into projects. Isaac Goff is a pioneering Subud entrepreneur. Way back
in the 60s his company Dharma Trading made a killing
David Week who had just been elected national chair, when silver and turquoise Navajo jewellry was all the
introduced the session by referring to a Zen Buddhist text. rage. In fact, they may have created the rage.
David Week is a very good speaker, always very clear, coher-
ent, concise yet complete, and also always calm and cour- Since then Isaac has done many other things. If I remem-
teous. The 6 Cs of good communication in my opinion. But ber correctly, he even served a spell as CEO of Anugraha
not only that, his speeches are adorned and encrusted with in that project’s latter days.
wonderful quotations, references, and allusions to literature,
philosophy, religion and the cultures of many lands. This pro- Dharma Trading continues to this day. And one of the
vides the 7th C of good communication - colour. things they do is business with a human face, because
they support projects and workers in Latin America.
In introducing the Open Space Technology, he referred Interesting how Isaac is still working in a line and country
to a classic Zen text in which the abbot of a monastery similar to what he did in the 60s – providing a marketing
advises the cook on how to run the kitchen. The funda- face for the work of indigenous or depressed people.)
mental message is that on any given day you have all the
ingredients you need to make the meal in the kitchen, Here is Isaac’s report to this Dharma staff after a recent
there are no other ingredients you need, and you should visit to the projects…
use all the ingredients that are available.
Life is not fair
This is how I feel when I doSubud Voice. I am the cook. I Some have much and others very little. I believe it is our
have certain ingredients – the stuff that has come in. I responsibility to help those who are less fortunate.
have to make a nice meal out of it, palatable, nutritious,
wholesome, occasionally delicious, never too spicy, but I believe this is God's will
let's hope not entirely bland. We work on these projects in Bolivia not because we
have any particular connection to Bolivia, but rather
By the way I think David's reference to that Zen text is also very because that is the door that has been opened for us. We
applicable to the meaning of this forthcoming 50th anniver- partner with Solidarity Bridge, a Catholic charity under the
sary celebration. All of us in Subud now are the ingredients. auspices of the Archdiocese of Chicago directed by a
The meal must be made out of all of us, and none left out. friend of mine which conducts medical, enterprise and
educational missions to Bolivia.
So I see this as a great time of gathering all the
ingredients, to see what kind of meal we have made During this most recent trip to Bolivia, I focused on three
in the last fifty years, and what we can cook over projects:
the next fifty. •The Sewing & Weaving Co-ops whose clothing we
import and sell
I also see it as a time of Celebration. Yes, of course it is a •The Pediatric Cardiac Surgery program we support
time of Thank you, and a time of Celebration, and a time financially
of Assessment (looking at the accounts – are we in the •The Vision Program for Children we are initiating
black or the red?) and a time for Gathering In (Harvest),
also a time for Dreaming our future into being. All those Sewing and Weaving
things and no doubt many more. Co-ops
I visited each of the
We are like the pioneers who have crossed the Rockies in four co-ops whose
the face of extraordinary difficulties of every kind. But look, clothing we import
we have come through. So let us celebrate! Let us and sell at our cost as
applaud ourselves! I will applaud you and you can Fair Trade Goods and
applaud me! Let your achievements be my achievements, made suggestions
let your sorrows be my sorrows. We are all in this together. about improving
Let us applaud and celebrate all our wonderful friendships quality, placed sever-
in Subud and all the wonderful experiences we have had. al new orders, and
Let us cook a great meal for all the world to see! added some new
styles. The goal here is Dharma Trading works with weaving
So, there you go. That’s editorial impulse that drivesSubud to help people earn a co-ops in Bolivia
Voice. living through their work.

You: I see. Well, most interesting. So that's the sort of stuff I did a day long workshop demonstrating to all the co-
that goes through your head when you do Subud op's leaders, dyeing and decorating techniques for the
Voice? clothing styles they produce. The goal is by adding colour
and artwork to the clothing, they can be more successful
Me: More or less. in selling to the middle and upper classes in Bolivia.
Additionally, it will make the clothing more widely sellable
You: Most interesting. Oh dear, is that my bus? I must be in the USA and Europe.
off. See you next time. Keep up the good work.

Pediatric Cardiac Surgery
Me: Thank you. See ya. Last year Dharma financed about $30,000 cont on p 13 >

of surgeries to repair heart prob- band was English we were probably OK.
I believe it lems in little kids whose parents
Nevertheless, they wanted the baby to be born in Belgrade,
were too poor to pay for the sur-
is our geries. We do this in partnership and this was against my own inner receiving and when I
couldn't persuade them, I had to run away again. I was more
with Solidarity Bridge, using a car-
responsibility diologist, a social worker and the than eight months pregnant, though it didn't show too much.
Belga Clinic in Cochabamba.
to help those Many of the children would have This was fortunate because they won’t let you on the plane if
you’re obviously very pregnant. My Bosnian friend, Gandhi,
had no future without our help.
who are less For 2007, we will be continuing this
program. The goal here is just to
gave me the money. He was taxi-driving to sustain himself, and
he gave me his whole salary - it was so generous.
fortunate save little kids' lives.
I got back to England and had the baby. My mother arrived
Vision Program for Children to see her grandson straight away and my father did so three
Last year I tried to initiate a Free Eyeglass program for chil- months later and offered to buy a house for us.
dren. I was not able to make much progress. But now, with
the help of Christin Hinajosa of Solidarity Bridge, we seem to I tried to be honest to mother and father, but whenever I tried
be on the verge of starting. The plan for the first year is for to tell them sincerely who I was, they thought I was losing my
Dharma to underwrite the cost of screening about 6000 reason. How could I blame them? I couldn't study - I seemed
school children from poor families for vision problems, have to have lost my intellectual powers. I became a much more
an estimated 600 examined by an ophthalmologist, and pro- feeling person.
vide a free pair of eyeglasses to each child who needs them.
In the long-run I am sure that was what I needed to balance
The work we all do here each day at Dharma is what makes me as a human being, but from my parents’ point of view it
these programs possible. was as if this spiritual movement had destroyed my mind. My
brain came back, and although I didn't go back to Classics,
As for Travelling… 3 years later I studied Italian and much later child develop-
As for travelling to Bolivia itself, getting there and back is a ment.
nightmare. Cars, buses, planes, buses, planes, taxis.
Unfriendly, expensive airlines, cancelled flights, delayed I made the decision after my son was born that I wouldn't talk
flights, lost luggage, impossible connections. A nightmare! about Subud to my parents and I never did for years.
Matthew and I lived a quiet life in Watford. I did latihan most-
On the other hand, we were invited into the homes of several ly on my own, occasionally going to groups.
Bolivians with whom we work. In one case, for a traditional meal
cooked in the ground with hot rocks. A lot of work for the host I gradually started to lead an active Subud life
and his family, and a neat experience for us. I studied, then taught Italian. Eight years after my son was
born I had a daughter. The relationship with my parents
I was able to visit an Alpaca Knitting Co-op begun some 40 became good again.. For about ten years everything was
or so years ago by a priest. They now have 500 women in the very quiet, and then I gradually started to lead an active
countryside knitting high quality, designer alpaca garments Subud life.
and an entire plant processing alpaca from fleece to yarn to
finished garments. Very impressive! During one of these periods when I was having trouble with
my family, I was lying at home on the floor, feeling so
The medical team saw lots of patients, performed non-stop wretched and heavy I couldn't move - I wanted to die. I saw
operations, did training in Neurosurgery techniques, implant- Bapak then, and he said I should be patient because things
ed donated pacemakers and defibrillators, and donated a will get better, and there is a future for you, and you will trav-
ton of medical supplies and equipment. All in all, it was a el around and give talks. And I saw myself doing that. It

heck of trip. seemed completely impossible at this time, because it
For more information go to seemed I had lost my ability to do anything.

There were other times, too, when I had a sense of his pres-

The Third Escape ence like a smile. He seemed to be saying, ‘Carry on. There
will be a different life.’

This is the third and final part of Lailah Armstrong's remarkable Sometimes, there were little foretellings which also helped
Subud story… me. Even before Matthew and I married, I had a sponta-
neous latihan in which I saw myself having two children. This
...That was the second escape, then came the third one. is where I learned to rely on my own receiving.
Even though my parents disowned me they looked for me.
They searched for me in Subud groups. By now I had In 1989 my life began to change. The first thing that hap-
changed my name from Nicolette to Lailah and that was pened was I became involved with Susila Dharma,
very worrying to them. I was no longer at university. I was Subud’s social work. I had very much led a home life up
pregnant. My father came and said, ‘Look we just want to until that point.
invite you for Christmas.’
One day I saw an ad for a job with Susila Dharma
I was very suspicious, but I tested and though I didn't want to One day I saw an advertisement for a job in the Susila
go, it seemed OK. But after Christmas, they wouldn't let me go Dharma office, and as soon as I read it, I felt it was for me,
again. They meant well. They were worried about me, but they and I saw Bapak, and he said I should go to his 1,000 Days
always felt they could impose their will on me. selamatan in Indonesia, and also that that job was for me. It
felt very true and real so I followed it.
Again they sent me to a psychiatrist who said that by
Belgrade standards, we would be considered a little mad, It was hard for me to go to Cilandak on my own. I’d never
but by English standards, this was normal, and as my hus- gone anywhere on my own. It was also cont on p14 >

strange that my mother wanted to gram has been evaluated and adopted by WHO and this
A life which is come and visit me just at that helps us to spread it.
moment, but I told my mother I had
fulfilling for me a job, and had to go on a training The program is desperately needed in countries like Angola
course. Which in a very deep sense where the whole fabric of society and the family has been
and also was true, as well as being an torn apart by years of civil war and where children in partic-
making a acceptable explanation to her. ular have been abused, brutalised and neglected.

contribution to I was a bit lonely in Cilandak Looking back on my life in Subud I can see that it has been a
because I didn't know anyone, but long process which has finally enabled me to find a life which
the needs of in the first latihan I felt as if I was wel- is fulfilling for me and also making some kind of contribution
comed there by Bapak. Most of the to the needs of humanity.
humanity time I was walking around on my
own, but I was very happy, and I felt My own process goes on
I was there because Bapak wanted me to be there. And Of course my own process still goes on but it’s not so acute. It
after Cilandak, I came back and started the job at Susila was about fifteen years of really severe dislocation when I was
Dharma. not able to do anything very much except be at home and
look after my family. I really couldn’t function well, I was too
I was the office manager. This was when Wilbert Verheyen sensitive to the environment. But gradually it passed and I was
was the chairman of Susila Dharma. When that finished, I able to study, to work, and finally find my way to the ICDP
began to work for ICDP (International Child Development work that I do now.
Program). It flowed on quite naturally and I went back to
University and studied Psychology. I see now that many of my troubles were related to a con-
fused idea of sincerity. I thought I had to be completely hon-
International Child Development Program est to people, but I see now that it only led to trouble. Being
ICDP is a simple, sensitising program directed towards care- sincere to God was the right thing to do. That meant com-
givers of children. This can include parents, teachers, anyone pletely surrendering my situation - explaining to Him what I
in an extended family who cares for the child, and caregivers wanted, and what I hoped for, but not expecting anything,
who work in day centres or institutions. It is particularly good just accepting whatever came.
for young children but it can benefit children of any age.
It is the sincerity to God which is important. I could never be
It emphasises how we can behave towards children in ways sincere with my father, because he just couldn’t understand
that are of benefit to them. It’s also a it - but it took me a long time to
process of discovering your own abil- realise that. To people I will be as sin-
ity. As you discover what you can do cere as they can let me be.
well, you strengthen your own confi-
dence. In some ways my life sounds like a
tabloid story but for me it was all
The effect on caregivers is that they about trying to find my way to God. I
know why what they do is good. was prepared to sacrifice my par-
They discover ways of entering the ents, the comforts of a rich back-
world of their children, following and ground, give up my education,
building on their children’s initiatives everything, for what I saw as my path
- seeing the child as a person. The to God.
result of the program is a very
humane way of dealing with chil- When I was 17, I wrote to Bapak
dren, releasing empathy. about being opened. I never got a
Lailah Armstrong’s work with ICDP promotes good reply, but much later on I found out
ICDP is an NGO registered in relationships between children and their carers. that Bapak had actually asked some-
Norway, with funding from various In this case in Angola one to visit me.
sources. Projects have been supported by NORAD and
UNICEF, for example. I met this person and he described going to my family home. It
was actually just as well Bapak didn't reply to my letter because
We work as consultants which means others pay us (or as vol- all the letters were being opened. It was reassuring to discover
unteers when there are no funds). ICDP was developed by 15 years later that Bapak had tried to help me.
Rukman Hundeide, a professor in early childhood develop-
ment in Norway, and it combines his professional expertise The story ended when my mother asked to be opened. The
with his Subud insight. He has a special sensitivity to the needs way this happened is the miracle of Subud. My mother came
of children which is also related to his own childhood. In to England for treatment because she was ill. We talked
Norway it is a government supported program. about my work. She asked me how I had the courage to
travel on my own to countries so far away. I said, ‘I have an
My work has been to give training courses and help run the inner guidance.’
organisation. I have worked in several countries, including
with Subud members in Colombia and Ukraine. We train She said, ‘You don't mean that Subud thing?’
groups of professionals and then they can go on to train I said, ‘Of course - it guides my life.’
others who work with children and their caregivers. The
training includes several seminars and practical work in At first I could see the fear in her face - but as I described
self-training projects. what Subud meant to me she relaxed.

We teach people the methodology so that they can repli- ‘It’s an inner experience,’ I told her. ‘The place from which I
cate it. Our aim is to reach large numbers of children and occasionally receive clear guidance. Then somehow I
families so we try to target networks such as health visitors, for know what I need to do. It is a place inside here.’ I pointed
example, so that they can insert ICDP in their work. The pro- to my chest. cont on p15>

She said, ‘What about Bapak?’

‘He died a long time ago.’ She was always afraid we would
be following and giving money to some guru. This reassured
her - that it was all continuing on without him.

The strength I had received impressed her, and the fact that
I hadn't spoken about it for a long time. She asked me what
I thought it was.

‘I don't know - it’s a miracle, a gift, it’s not dependent on

Bapak. It's open to anyone. It has to do with the Will of God
and we can pass it on.’

She said, ‘How do you mean you can pass it on?’ Then, ‘If
that is how it is, I would like to be opened.’ I was so moved
and so grateful to God – I kept thinking miracle, miracle.
The SICA river walkers
I opened my mother. She was ill, so she couldn't go to a lati- London , Tower Bridge and the Customs House.
han place. I couldn’t believe that here I was standing in front
of my mother and that after all the trials and troubles and Mairi Store (Chair of SICA) explained that there was a reason
struggles, she was asking for the latihan. for the lob-sided spiral shape - to make the most of the sun-
light and that it wouldn’t cast a shadow over the pedestrian
When I told Matthew my mother had asked to be opened, area. It was designed in a very environmentally friendly way.
he said, ‘This is the greatest miracle.’ The water in the cooling system can be used again for flush-
ing the toilets, and the heating comes from the computers
For our family, it was a Subud miracle – the biggest I've witnessed. used in the building.

My father is dead now, and so is my mother. Shortly before We then went onto the Hay’s Galleria, which was once a river-
she died, I asked the helpers to do latihan with me for my side wharf. The original wharf was much bigger than just the
mother who was in hospital. We all felt it was a special lati- Hay’s Galleria, it stretched from the Galleria to near where
han, very light. I clearly heard ‘it won’t be long now, your London Bridge Hospital is. The whole area was known as
mother is ready’ and right at the end of the latihan for a short London’s Larder. Today the area is known as London Bridge City.
moment I saw my father who said, ‘I am waiting for mother’.
She died just after we finished that latihan. We walked through Southwark where we saw the replica of
the Golden Hind and Southwark Cathedral where we heard
April 2005 the story of St Mary Overy, before she entered the convent.
I am immensely grateful to Almighty God for his guidance in
my ICDP work which developed steadily over the years, par- On to the Borough, which was independent of the City of
ticularly since I obtained sponsorship by UNICEF in 2002. London and we heard tales of ladies of the night in their
‘stews’ tempting the wealthy gentlemen across the river, and
I am currently leading the training in an inter-institutional project that the ferryman’s seat, where he waited to ferry the men back
aims to reduce abuse of children in the Boyaca province of again after curfew for a good price.
Colombia; it is covering 123 towns of the Province of Boyaca, involv-
ing 10,000 agents from the social, education, health and church We walked through the Borough market amid smells of fresh-
networks, reaching 80,000 families and over 200,000 children. ly cooked hot salt beef, and pork and chicken. We saw the
Clink prison and the gruesome cage hanging aloft where
As result of our work in Colombia the UNICEF director has this people were left to die in public view after being tortured.
year started campaigning for ICDP to become part of
UNICEF’s global strategy. We passed the site of the old Globe Theatre and stopped for cof-
fee at the new theatre. Mairi told us that this was because of the
On a personal note, I see more clearly now just how much I efforts of Sam Wannamaker and his dream of about fifty years ago.

had received from my parents and I also see more clearly
now how much I still need to improve as a person. He first got the idea when he visited a British Trade Fair in
Chicago in 1936 and saw a model displayed there. Sam died
in 1993 and therefore was never able to see the realisation of

The London Walk

Now here is a nice little SICA idea which could be duplicat-
his dream in action.- restoring the Globe for Elizabethan
Theatre. And lots more...

We should do this more often

ed anywhere in the world. Go for a nice walk in your city with We all had lunch together looking out on to the river and the
an experienced guide who can fill you in on all the architec- hustle and bustle of London . I really enjoyed being in nice
tural and historical points of interest. Subud company. So rarely do we get together JUST to enjoy
ourselves . We should do this more often, perhaps organise a
Of course London is a particularly rich experience, but we Theatre trip.
could do it anywhere. We could do it right here in Melbourne
where I am. Or you could do it right wherever you are. We were blessed with a beautiful day with clear views all
about and Mairi made it so interesting for us all. She is a qual-
Thank you Patricia Dear, UK, for telling us all about it, and ified London Guide and knows London inside out.
inspiring us to emulate you...
Thanks Mairi. I hope you will arrange another walk in the sum-
We all met up at City Hall or ‘Ken’s Palace’, beside mer £ 100 was raised for SICA. This picture was taken by Jim
the river facing wonder ful views of The Tower of

Williams of some of the walkers.


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