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Depressed children can be like depressed parents, expressing sadness, anger,

shame, and self-directed hostility (Brown & Siegel, 1988). Just like adults,
depressed children tend to blame themselves for bad events and accredit the
environment for good events--they do not give themselves credit when due (

. Depressed children reported significantly higher level of hopelessness, lower


general self-esteem, and lower coping skills than non-depressed children. Their
ability to be unable to cope with stress can lead to fewer and less adaptive
coping techniques (Asarnow, Carlson, & Guthrie, 1987).

It takes a village to raise a child"

This is a famous quote, though I'm not sure where it came from. I believe we all should think of
each other more as family rather than being so selfish and only thinking "me, me, me". I think the
solutions to many of these problems lie in a good education and a good upbringing. I have seen
parents barely raise their kids, thinking it's the school's job to teach them everything they need to
know about life. Meanwhile, many teachers are overworked, and have to deal with so many
different kids (or they're simply not good teachers) and so how can they be responsible for raising
20 kids each day? The teachers sometimes try to enlist the parents' help, but the parents are
sometimes too busy, or afraid to admit their child has a problem. Or the parents try to get the
school to cooperate in helping their child, but the school is too busy or they deny there is a
problem.

Here are some things I just thought of now that are important to teach children:

- to think independently, to solve problems on their own, not depend too much on others
- to think critically, not just accept what is in front of them, but to investigate and learn the truth
for themselves
- to have high morals, to not tolerate other's bad behavior around them, to stick up for others, and
help others in need
- to learn basic things for "survival" in their part of the world. This may mean growing their own
food, or it could mean knowing how to take a public bus to the food store, It could include healthy
food choices, and being able to do things like wash their clothes, do minor repairs on their house or
car or bicycle, etc.

Sometimes when my son gets a bit too dependent on me, and asks me to do too many things, I
remind him:
"My job as your parent is not to do everything for you, it's to teach you how to do it for
yourself"

About tolerating others, I have told him many times:


"There are 6 billion people in this world, and NO TWO are alike. No one will be exactly
This when they'll
like you, so you have to learn how to deal with all kinds of people."
become more controlling and pay more attention to your life. Mainly cause your
older and they trust you more & and your supposed too be more mature (Pfft,
teens mature?)

When your older you have more responsibilities. This is the time where you
experiment, finding who you are. Of course, parents intervene into your life alot
and say no too nearly anything, cause teens to rebel.. Strains the relationship.
Depression, angst, hormones just makes things even better...
Children who use violence usually come from conflictive families; as has been
shown by a number of research studies. The psychologist, Arantzazu Bellido, has
reaffirmed this phenomenon for the Autonomous Community of the Basque
Country (CAV-EAE). She undertook surveys with a number of families in the
Basque province of Bizkaia, adapting previously used questionnaires to this end
and creating new ones specifically designed for this study. Ms Bellido
demonstrated that, effectively, there is a direct relationship between a child's
behaviour and their family environment. She has written her results and
conclusions for her PhD thesis, presented at the University of the Basque Country
(UPV/EHU).

The PhD thesis was entitled Family context and aggressive behaviour in 8-year-
old children. For her research Ms Bellido visited a number of schools in the
Basque province of Bizkaia, undertaking questionnaires in 251 families with
children of eight years of age. The researcher based her methodology on the
ecological model; i.e. apart from the child, she took factors into account that
have effect on the context in which he or she develops. Thus, the children, as
well as their family members, friends and school mates, took part in the survey.

The questionnaires used in the research had been adapted to the case of the
CAV-EAE; the task of adaptation was, in fact, one of contributions of Ms Bellido's
thesis. On the one hand, she used a number of questionnaires previously used
and validated in Spain and adapted them to the CAV-EAE. Ms Bellido also created
new questionnaires. For example, she drew up a questionnaire analysing the
views of parents regarding the process of children growing up and other ones
which gathered demographic and socio-economic data.

The family is an extremely important environmental influence on personality development.


Specifically, theorists have focused on the influence of parents on the personality
characteristics of children. Relationships between child behavior and child-rearing practices,
as well as parental attitudes, have been examined (Sears et al., 1957; Peterson et al., 1959).
The important role of family functioning in regard to child abuse and child deviancy has also
been investigated (Bryant & Wells, 1973; Anjel & Erkman, 1993).
In the family social system, each family member influences, and is influenced by, the other
members (Monane, 1967), producing a family environment, or climate (Moos, 1975). Family
climate is determined by the interpersonal relationships among family members, the emphasis
on personal growth, and system maintenance--the organizational basis of the family (Moos,
1974, 1984). Two important dimensions of the family environment are cohesion and control
(Moos, 1974; Fowler, 1980).
Healthy families are characterized by optimal cohesion; that is, family members display
warm affective ties (Olson et al., 1979). Control is the dominant feature of an unhealthy or
negative family environment (Moos, 1974). The system is rigid--there is resistance to change
(Minuchin, 1974).
As a form of social support, the family is an important resource in coping with stress.
Individuals who remain relatively healthy under stressful situations have been found to
perceive high family cohesion (Hollahan & Moos, 1982). Individuals who perceive less
family support have been found to experience more depression and work-related stress
(Mitchell et al., 1983).
Family environment is considered a major factor in adolescents' psychological adjustment
(Moos, 1984; Lofgrem & Lapsen, 1992). A supportive, cohesive family environment fosters
psychological well-being. Children experiencing high control but low cohesion have been
found to be more introverted and depressed (Billings & Moos, 1984).
Lack of both affection and emotional support, high control, and a strong push for
achievement by parents during childhood are related to depression (Santrock, 1990).
Acquisition of self-devaluated schema during the early years may also lead to a lack of
confidence in future endeavors (Beck, 1973; Clark & Beck, 1989). Further, habitual negative
thoughts are problematic for the depressive adolescent.
Thus, family climate and relationship styles play a role in adolescents' self-evaluations and
psychological health. The aim of the present study was to clarify the relationship between
adolescents' negative thoughts, depressive mood, and family environment.
Financial effects on families. Substance abuse by family members can have a substantial
negative effect on the financial viability of caregivers. Substance-abusing caregivers may
spend money allocated for food or clothing for children. Substance abusers may divert money
from rent or mortgages to buy substances. Noncustodial parents who abuse alcohol are less
likely to provide financial support for their children (Dion et al. 1997). In Yemen and
Somalia, users may spend as much on khat (a type of stimulant) as they spend on food (Abdul
Ghani et al. 1987). Additionally, families are often unwitting accomplices to their relative's
substance abuse as the substance use is often financed by immediate family members
(Gearon et al. 2001).
Fetal exposure to alcohol and other drugs. There is considerable evidence for the effects of
maternal substance use on the development of the fetus. Specifically, childhood
developmental problems have been associated with maternal substance use. For example,
prenatal alcohol exposure can lead to mental retardation, behavioral and neurological
problems that may lead to poor academic performance, and legal and employment problems
in youth and adulthood (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism 2000).
However, researchers do not know how much alcohol produces adverse fetal consequences.
Thus, experts recommend that pregnant women should not consume alcohol (National
Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism 2000).
Early family environment. In addition to the direct effects of substances on the unborn child,
the early social environment of children with substance-abusing parents adds potential risks.
A high percentage of children in contact with the child welfare system have substance-
abusing parents ( Jones-Harden 1998). Reviews have consistently documented the association
between parental substance abuse and poor parenting skills ( Jones-Harden 1998). The type
of child maltreatment often associated with these cases includes physical, medical, and
emotional neglect (Hawley et al. 1995; Jones-Harden 1998). Research in Israel documented
the ill effects of severe environmental deprivation when both parents are heroin-addicted and
noted that the early home environment has a greater influence than in-utero exposure on
developmental outcomes, as long as there is no significant neurological damage (Ornoy et al.
1996). Other research has found that a positive postnatal caregiving environment can
attenuate some of the negative effects of prenatal exposure to substances ( Jones-Harden
1998; McNichol and Tash 2001).