Basic

Counseling
Answer True or False

1
The counselor should do everything she
can to solve the problem of the
client/person.
2

The counselor should have an awareness

of self and values.
3

The counselor should have a full

acceptance of the client/person
4

The counselor should show sympathy to

his/her client.
5

The counselor should have a knowledge of

the “what's and how's” of counseling.
6

A person who has a problem have no

control over their lives, situation and
environment.
7

Our client’s problem is our primary focus

of attention.
8

The counselor must always enter into the

client’s world & begin from there.
9

The counselor should not tell anybody

about what his/her client shared to
her/him.
10

It is the client who will do the work in

order to solve his/her problem.
What is Counseling?
Answer True or False

1. The counselor should do everything

she can to solve the problem of the
client/person.= F
2. The counselor should have an
awareness of self and values.= T
3. The counselor should have a full
acceptance of the client/person= T
4. The counselor should show sympathy to
his/her client.= F
5. The counselor should have a knowledge of
the “what's and how's” of counseling.= T
6. A person who has a problem have no
control over their lives, situation and
environment.= F
7. Our client’s problem is our primary focus of
attention.= F
8. The counselor must always enter into
the client’s world & begin from there. =T
9. The counselor should not tell anybody
about what his/her client shared to
her/him. = T
10. It is the client who will do the work in
order to solve his/her problem. = T
 Counseling
 Counseling has been defined as a process of
helping a person/people learn how to solve
certain interpersonal, emotional and decisional
problems.
 Itis a form of interpersonal communication in
which feelings, thoughts and attitudes are
expressed, explored and clarified.
 Itis a process in which aim is to help clients, by
making better choices by themselves by
becoming better choosers.
What are the qualities of an
Effective Counselor?
 Awareness of Self and Values
 Trust
 Warmth and Care
 Acceptance
 Empathy
 Knowledge
A proper view of his/her role
as counselor
 Some counselor regard themselves as
do-all and be-all
 A counselor should remember that he is
an enabler, not an omnipotent saviour
 He is supposed to have expertise in helping
people solve their problems with emphasis
on helping not solving.
 Theclient still has to do the work but
the counselor is there to help him to do
it.
CORE DESCRIPTIONS PURPOSE
CONDITIONS
EMPATHY Communicating a sense of To establish rapport, gain
caring and understanding understanding of the client
UNCONDITIO Communicating to clients that To promote acceptance of
NAL POSITIVE they have value and worth as the client as a person of
REGARD individuals worth as distinct from
accepting the client’s
behavior
CONGRUENCE Behaving in a manner To be genuine in
consistent with how one thinks interactions with the client
and feels
RESPECT Focusing on the positive To focus on the client
attributes of the client
CORE CONDITIONS DESCRIPTIONS PURPOSE
IMMEDIACY The here-and- To promote direct mutual
now. About what communication between
is occurring in the the counselor and the
counseling session client.
CONFRONTATION Pointing out To help clients clearly and
discrepancies in accurately understand
what the client is themselves and the world
saying and doing around them
(bet. Statements
and non-verbal
behavior)
CONCRETENESS Helping clients To help client focus in
discuss pertinent issues
themselves in
specific terms
SELF-DISCLOSURE Making the self- To promote increasing
known to others counseling-relevant
communication from the
client
3 ESSENTIAL COUNSELING
SKILLS
1. INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
2. INTERVENTION SKILLS
3. INTEGRATION SKILLS
Interpersonal Skills
 It is the core skills for counseling
 It refers to skills required for building
relationships with clients in order to
engage them in the counseling process
 Sets the stage for respect, openness,
understanding and participation of
clients in the counseling process.
Three Interpersonal Skills

1. Verbal Skills- including verbal responses,

appropriate vocal qualities and verbal tracking
2. Non-verbal Skills- focuses on body language
3. Client observation skills- the ability of the
counselor to use observation of client for
therapeutic purpose.
Verbal Responses
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Interpretation
Summarization
Clarification
Open and Closed Questions
 Paraphrase

 Refers to a repetition of the client’s main words

and thoughts in the counselor’s own words.
 It is a way of telling the client that we are
hearing what is said and desire to hear more of
him
- To ensure accuracy in paraphrasing:
1. begin your sentence with “hear you say; so you
seem to be saying; looks like you”
2. Identify the essence of what the client has said and
summarize
3. Focus on key words used by the client and use them
- It is important to time your paraphrasing. Allow
the client to talk, then as and when he pauses or
when he tells you something significant, respond
with a paraphrase.
- Constant use of paraphrasing disturbs the flow.
Example:

Client: I have been feeling rather anxious

lately. My boss wants to finish the report
as soon as possible but he doesn’t tell me
when he wants it. I’m afraid I may not be
able to give it to him if he wants it next
week.
Counselor: I hear you say that you are
anxious that you may not be able to know
when your boss wants the report from
you. Looks like you are afraid you may not
be able to submit the report to your boss
because he didn’t give you a deadline.”
 Client:"I don't know about her. One
moment she's really friendly, and the
next time 1 see her she's totally cold."
Client: "He's really crummy. His degree
is from a non-accredited school. He's
had very little training, and he has a:
poor relationship with his
 Counselor:"You haven't experienced
her as being very consistent."
 Client:"Every moment there is
something new to do. There must be
ten different things going on at the
same time!"
 Counselor: "There are a lot of activities
for you to chose from."
Verbal Responses
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Interpretation
Summarization
Clarification
Open and Closed Questions
Reflecting Feeling
 Related to paraphrasing except that the
focus is solely on the affective state of
the client and not the content.
 A way to communicate empathy and
understanding of client’s feelings
without saying.. “ I understand how you
feel”
2 dimensions of Reflecting
Feeling
1. Emphatic recognition which involves
identification of feeling state of client
2. Demonstrate this empathy through
accurate reflection of feelings to show the
counselor comprehends the client’s inner
experiencing.
 Beyond words, counselor must note facial
expression, vocal qualities and various
form of body language. Counselors need to
step into “the shoe” of the client and feel
“as if” they are the client.
 Four Basic Feelings:
1. Glad- happiness, excitement, exuberance or
anything that makes the person feel good.
2. Sad- refers to the whole range of feeling that
brings depression, grief, unhappiness,
disappointment, anything that upset
3. Mad- angry, irritated, resentful, enraged or
anything that makes him annoyed.
4. Scared- feeling associated with anxiety, fear,
insecurity or anything that threatens the well-
being of the person.
Distinct parts in Reflecting
Feeling: (Ivey&Simek-
Downing, 1980)
 The pronoun “you” or the client’s name
(this helps to personalize the reflection)
 The emotional label (s) or word(s): angry,
sad, scared, glad
 A sentence stem ( You seem to feel…” I
imagine you feel…” Sounds like you feel…”
 A context, to provide the setting for the
emotional experience ( “ you feel sad when
your child doesn’t turn out the way you had
expected)
S: "I'm very depressed today."
C: "You're very depressed, Mr. Smith."
S: "Yes. I haven't been this depressed in a long
time."
C: "You haven't been this depressed in a long
time.“
S: "I'm so depressed that I'm thinking about killing
myself."
C: "You're thinking about killing yourself."
S: "I'd like to kill myself right now."
C: "You'd like to kill yourself right now.“
 S: "Yes, I'm so desperate that I think I'll open this
window and jump out."
C: "You're thinking of jumping out that window.“
S: "I'm gonna do it. See? I'm opening the
window.... and I'm gonna jump.“
C: "You're going to jump out the window."
S: "Bye. Here I go........ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
(splat)
C: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, splat."
Example:
Client: "So, I'm wondering if you can help me
choose a new major... (pause), I suppose if I did
choose, I'd just screw things up again...”
 Counselor:"You're feeling hopeless
about being able to succeed and you're
not sure anybody or anything will help.
 Client: "I just can't figure out why
things have been so difficult here.
Everything came so easily to me in high
school. Everyone at home still thinks
I'm the smartest guy around but they
have no idea that I'm really just stupid,
but it's only a matter of time
" Counselor: "You are embarrassed that
you haven't lived up to other people's
expectations of you.
Verbal Responses
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Interpretation
Summarization
Clarification
Open and Closed Questions
Interpretation
 Involves labeling and describing the
client’s thoughts, feelings and behavior
in a positive way
 It provides an alternative frame of view
for the client so that he can see himself
and his problem differently
 Can lead to a better understanding of
what is happening in his life and serve
as a catalyst for change and growth
A client may come to a counselor feeling defeated,
ashamed and disposed. It is not unusual for him to
say:

“ I don’t know if I should be here. It is so strange

talking to you about my problems. Seems like I
must be very weak for not knowing how to deal
with my problem. Don’t you think I’m weak?”
- Avoid reassuring him too quickly and tell
him he is not weak.

“ I suppose it does seem that you’re weak for

being unable to deal with your problem.
However, it must take some courage for you
to come and reveal your problem to me, since
we do not know each other very well. There
are others who are too afraid to come and talk
to me, unlike you”
 Toa woman who is thinking of running
away from an abusive husband, it would
be heartening to hear that she is not
crazy for entertaining such thoughts.
A counselor would say:

“ It must be a very difficult situation for

you. You are thinking of running away
from your husband. It is hard for me to
think you are crazy as I guess someone in
your position would be thinking of the
same thing. “
Verbal Responses
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Interpretation
Summarization
Clarification
Open and Closed Questions
Summarization
 Reviews the content of the interview, brings
together common elements and clarifies.
 Gives the counselor a chance to hear if his
or her thinking is accurate and it gives a
“breather” or a break to interview.
 Helpful in ending a session or beginning the
next one, as it communicates to the clients
that the counselor has been listening and
brings the session to some closure.
Verbal Responses
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Interpretation
Summarization
Clarification
Open and Closed Questions
Clarification
 No counselor should assume he knows
exactly the client is saying even though
ideas and words may sound familiar.
 They could mean different things under
different circumstances.
 The counselor can respond by saying..
 “what did you mean when you said…
 I'm not really sure I understand what you
mean…
 Do you mean to say…
Verbal Responses
Paraphrase
Reflecting feelings
Interpretation
Summarization
Clarification
Open and Closed Questions
Open and Close Question
 The ability to ask appropriate questions is
an important skill for counseling
 If questions are not generated properly
they can sound very interrogative and the
counseling can become an investigative
session.
 WHAT- serves to solicit facts & gathering of
information
 HOW- related to sequence of and process of
emotion
Non-Verbal Skills
S facing the person SQUARELY
O adopting an OPEN posture
Leaning forward
E maintaining EYE contact
R being RELAXED
Client Observation Skills
 An effective counselor is someone who is
constantly aware of client’s behavior
 Clients tell us a lot about their world by
verbal as well as non-verbal means
 Counselors be highly aware of what clients
are saying especially through body
movement, facial expressions, vocal
qualities and incongruities between body
language and verbal expressions.
Intervention Skills
 The ability of the counselor to engage
clients in problem-solving
 Counselors should be familiar with the
various strategies and techniques
Integration Skills
 Ability of the counselor to apply
strategies to specific situations, bearing
in mind the culture and socio-economic
context of client.
 Each client presents with a mindset that
is largely influenced by his culture and
beliefs system.
REMINDER!
 Counseling is NOT
Telling or directing
Giving advice
A Conversation
An interrogation
A Confession
Praying
 Controlling the session rather than encouraging
the client’s spontaneous expression of feelings
and needs.
 Judging, by showing non-verbal disapproval, or
by making statements that indicate that the
client does not meet the counselor's standards.
 Moralizing, preaching, and patronizing the client,
by telling people how they ought to behave or
lead their lives.
 Labeling, rather than trying to find out the
person’s motivation, fears, and anxieties.
 Unwanted reassuring, trying to induce undue
optimism by making light of the client’s version
of the problem. Not accepting the client’s
feelings, saying he should feel differently.
 Encouraging dependence, increasing the client’s
need for the counselor's continuing presence and
guidance.
 Persuading the client to accept new behavior by
flattery or deceit.
 “Children Learn What They Live”
- Dorothy Law Nolte

 If a child lives with criticisms, he learns to

condemn
 If a child lives with hostility, he learns to
fight
 If a child lives with fear, he learns to be
apprehensive
 If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be
shy
 If a child lives with jealousy, he learns what
envy is
 If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel
guilty
 If a child lives with encouragement, he learns
to be confident
 If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be
patient
 If a child lives with praise, he learns to be
appreciative
 If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to
love
 If a child lives with approval, he learns to like
himself
 If a child lives with recognition, he learns
that it is good to have a goal
 If a child lives with sharing, he learns about
generosity
 If a child lives with honesty and fairness, he learns
what truth and justice are
 If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith
in himself
 If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the
world is a nice place in which to live
 If a child lives with serenity, your child will live with
peace of mind
“BE ROLE MODELS”