Running head: NEGOTIATION AND CONFLICT RESOLUTIONS

Negotiation And Conflict Resolutions Final

Union Institute and University

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Conflict and Negotiation

One encounters conflict at one time or another in their lives. Conflict is proof in

demonstrating the deference that lay between us humans. When one encounters conflict, one is

faced with some sort of disagreement between parties that in turn can be worked out by

negotiating. Negotiation is one of the tools that help settling of a conflict. The focus should not

be to change someone’s attitude but to try and reach an agreement to change behavior in ways

that make settlement possible. This course brought about ideas and methods that can be used to

negotiate when encountered by conflict.

Emotional Intelligence

According to 7 Qualities of People with Emotional Intelligence, Powers (2015)

Emotional Intelligence concept was originally presented by Yale psychologist John D. Mayer and

Peter Salovoy in 1990. Emotional Intelligence is a way of demonstrating and understanding not

only one’s own emotions but also those of others. Having self awareness is established.

Understanding specific emotions can help one use them appropriately to help guide their

thinking and behavior. One can also by managing these emotions use them to deal with everyday

task or problem solving. In article “7 Qualities of People with High Emotional Intelligence”

writer Rhett Power notes those attributes according to Goldman who has studies the concept

future. Goldman list these 7 qualities as the following: being a change agent, self awareness,

empathetic, not being a perfectionist, balanced, curious and gracious.

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Powers explains these future. Folks with emotional intelligence are adaptive to change.

They are aware it is part of life and don't let this change hold them back. Being self aware is

illustrated by being aware of what they are good at and ok with learning what they need to learn.

They know themselves and know what works for them. Being empathic is also key. Knowing

how to relate to another person and putting themselves in their shoes helps one understand others

issues and helps them get through tough times. Perfection is not their goal, but learning from

their mistakes is more important to them. They realize that being perfect is impossible. They are

balanced. They have been able to see the importance in having balance in not only the

professional world but also family and self. Curiosity is always present. Asking questions and

gaining new knowledge is part of the process. Curiosity help with non judgment of others while

having the ability to explore other possibilities. Finally they are gracious. These folks truly are

thankful everyday for something. Their ability to feel good about their lives also helps in not

letting others affect them.

Emotional Intelligence Epiphany

My quality tested and brought to life during this course is the ability to come to terms

with non perfection. I’ve truly decided to do my best on completing this course as best as I can. I

realize that not all the work I turn in will be perfect. I’m content with learning and sharing what I

learned so far in hopes of enlightening another. I’ve also accepted the fact that balance with

work, school and family are key to my overall success. Everyday is a learning experience as well

as a work in process for self. Although I only pin point on these two, all mentioned in my
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opinion, are not only necessary to succeed but also bring about a humbleness to be able to

acquire.

Eye on the Prize Model

In approaching conflict one must be aware and accept the fact that it is a normal part of

life. Knowing how to take a step back and coming up with a plan on how you will approach

conflict can make the process less stressful and approachable. We can not approach every

conflict or challenge as if it is the end of the world. Having these methods on hand will not only

lead you to resolution but also help you grow in dealing with other aspects of life.

Who’s Behind the Mask

What is truly the intention of the other party? Ask yourself why does this person want this

so bad? Finding out what is behind someone’s request can be an eye opener in generating a plan

to move forward with any negotiation. It can also help you make any adjustments necessary on

your end if needed to try and propose something that could benefit all involved. Taking this

action can also relieve the feelings of taking things personal because you've been able to focus on

the request not the person.

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So What you Meant was?

Communication is priceless. In communication one can truly take a moment to

understand and take in all that one is requesting. This action takes patience and selflessness

within yourself to reflect on another ideas or request. Truly listing gives you the ability to be able

to dictate back to them what you feel they are requesting while also giving you the opportunity to

work on your request. This will help develop trust between the relationship thus making the

negotiation a much smoother process.

Using Your Imagination

During negotiations, one is encourage to have other options. Coming up with other

options give you the ability to be flexible and ready if your request is completely rejected. This

process also opens up your world in knowing that at the end what was decided in sort made you

content as possible. One will not win every conflict but getting as close as you can to your goal is

better than nothing. Having other ideas as well can help motivate the other party to do the same b

also showing them you are flexible. This action can also bring up a thought the other party gave

mind to but didn't bring up. Isn't it wonderful to have options other than just black and white?
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What is Customary?

During negotiations one can tend to bend for the other in hopes of gaining acceptance or

possibly getting their way the next time around. This does not work, we must do research and

find out what others have chosen in our situation. How has this been done fairly? Are their rules

that exist that can make this process more feasible? If parties insist on only doing it there way,

one must be prepared to give these objective options to open up the floor to getting to a

resolutions that is fair and just. Having a constant battle for power not only can damage a

relationship but can lead a deal to be a failure. Forcing one another will take so much more

energy than discussing objective resolutions.

Conflict Styles

According to Jones and Brinkert (2008) a conflict style is a combination of individual

motive and general behavioral tendency in conflict situation. Knowing which style you or others

demonstrate or work with often, one can help the communication open up when conflict arrises.

The five conflict styles discussed in chapter nine are the following: Avoidance, accommodating,

competing, compromising, and collaborating. During this exploration, one can also learn which

styles work good with one another while also knowing those that are not compatible.
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Avoidance

Avoiding is used when someone tackles everything else but the conflict itself. Avoidance

usually demonstrates or comes across as having little or no concern for themselves or others

involved. The actual act of avoidance can be placed into subtypes that include protecting,

withdrawing and or soothing. When one chooses this route they are trying to avoid being in that

conflict situation all together. Jones and Brinkert (2008) explain that there could be times that

choosing this route can be useful and the best route to take due to the circumstances. Issues of

low importance, weak parties dealing with highly aggressive parties, and protection from

embarrassment are just a few examples. If one feels that no matter what they bring to the table,

the other party feels no reason to compromise or try and meet in the middle, one can select

avoidance. Avoidance can also backfire when it leaves the other party open to assume something

different instead of being aware of your true intentions. This can leave allot of room for

misinterpretation. Again one can jeopardize a relationship.

Accommodating

Accommodating involved acceptance of another request not taking yours into

consideration. By doing so it can also reflect low concern for yourself. Accommodating at times

can be effective though, if it comes from a place of humbleness or in acts of insuring the others

request come from a place of merit perhaps. Jones and Brinkert (2008) also do express that
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accommodating can be counterproductive. This style can also come across as being weak while

also generating some sort of resentment in the accommodator by generating stress and or

frustration. One may lose the chance to fairly get their needs met due to the accommodating of

others without a fight.

Competing

According to Jones and Brinkert (2008) competing is defined as working to have your

position or interest take priority over the other party’s positions or interest. Unlike avoidance and

accommodating, competing comes across as having high concern towards self. Competing can

also be decided into two subtypes. These include forcing and contending. Forcing is when one

using control to get their way. Contending could be expressed as being assertive in asking for

what they want, while still being flexible but in only to their benefit. It is assumed to appropriate

or effective by Jones and Brikert if used when dealing with an issue of high importance to you.

a downside to using this style can also take up allot more time and resources than expected with

the possibilities of reaching no solution at the end.

Compromising

With compromising both involved can get a resolution by getting a little bit of what each

one wants. This can help satisfy both interest. With compromising there is allot more discussions
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back and forth of what all parties are requesting. They are able to come to some sort of

agreement. This action demonstrated per Jones and Brinkert (2008) a moderate concern for both

self and others. It is considered a good route if one is unable to make a determination on the issue

at hand while also taking less time and also requires less trust. The drawbacks of using this route

are when issues are those of principle and when it limits the opportunities of coming up with

other solutions.

Collaborating

Collaborating is explained as parties attempting to meet all or most of the interest of

importance to all involved. Jones and Brinkert (2008). This style indicated high concern for self

and others. It’s considered useful when used to deal with very important issues. Trust is a

required ingredient to make it work. Having this trust makes the process more smooth. Skills and

ability to come up with complex resolutions may be required for success. A downside to this

style is the time that is required to engage in it and not having the trust established between all

involved.

I would say that the style I have mostly strengthened within this course period has been

collaborating. I say this because of my present challenges involving immediate family. Since

these are of most importance to me, I have been able to be more open to options that will help

everyone involved the opportunity to have their request honored. I’ve decided that giving all
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parties involved the fairness to achieve their request as we'll will make every happy and the

process allot smoother. If we work together, we stay together.

Don’t Attack ’Em, WAC ’Em

In selecting someone in attempts of utilizing what I have learn with this article, I choose

my husband. My objective was to receive collaboration from my husband in regards to nightly

feeding for my 5 month old baby Gabriella. The statement selected was “ I can’t get a full

night’s rest if I continue to handle all the nightly feedings. I have to work in the morning as well

“ I would then ask for him to start helping me in taking turns during the night giving us both time

to rest. I would suggest he’d take the first or last night feeding for the help to make a difference.

I’d then ask and confirm that he has understood what my request was and if he agreed with it. I

would also open up the floor to his suggestions to the request. I did feel that my request was fair.

I would also explain all of the positive outcomes that could also arise from my being able to rest

more. I’d sure him this would help in the stress I was experiencing. His help would be greatly

appreciated and accepted.

Selected Styles

In asked to select two ways in dealing with conflict, I have leaned towards having open

communication for all involved and finding fairness in any situation to be able to succeed. As

expressed in previous papers I have always found open communication is not something we can
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spare at a time of negotiations and conflicts. Being able to truly understand the others request

and get a sense of why and where they are coming from can make the process more enjoyable

and just. One could better prepare on their own requirements when they are clear as to what

everyone involved is requesting. By having open communication, one could also see something

that was not evident before. This can also open up the channels of possibly being able to

negotiate with them again in the future. Communication can only open doors to working together

instead of against each other. Even if at times communication may still not be enough or work

for everyone, one can still feel good within themselves that they made it about everyone involved

not just themselves. Finding fairness in any negotiation or in any situation in life should be a

requirement. Even though this is left to one’s discretion, one can still choose fairness in hope of

possibility generating it in the other party involved. Conflict does not always have to be a

negative experience. If we are armed with all these concepts and methods prior to confronting

any negotiation, one would only experience a pleasurable outcome. Not all will get what they

request at all times, but being open to communication and finding fairness in any situation or

suggestion can only help one grow as a person. In this day and age and with everything going on

in the world, wouldn’t it be a nicer place if we could all communicate amicably and tried to find

fairness for everyone?

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Invent Options for Mutual Gain

Per Fisher and Ury (2010) skill at inventing options is one of the most useful assets a

negotiator can have. After learning a bit more on this aspect I realized how important it was to

master it. This could only help one’s imagination skills in finding other options that one would

not originally thought of that could help all involved. what is better than that? One must

remember not to judge others as it hinders imagination. Not all is able to be equally divided, nor

is everyone the same, so other options are key to getting closer making the experience a

successful one. Having other options is also helpful in being happy with what is finally selected

or agreed upon. Exploring mutual gain in any situation can only assist in getting interest met.

Some might even be able to find similarities in others thus making finding options more of an

enjoyable experience. All these options explored should be seen as opportunity to grow and or

learn something new. At times even though interests might be different, some sort of amicable

decision should always be able to be reached.

Question 1

“Does positional bargaining ever make sense? “

Professionally I found the advice given by Fisher and Ury for Question number 1, the best to

take away with me. I say this because working in a corporate environment one does understand

all the red tape one needs to go through to resolve issues. How important is it to maintain a good

working relationship they state. Very important to me. It’s my job that pays my bills and
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understanding their reasons is more useful to me than possibly not coming across as a team

player or trusted employee. Making any threats could only hinder my current position.

Negotiating with them while focusing on merits could only make both of us open to

communication and explanations. Being able to work through negotiations could only make me a

better employee and person to deal with.

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References

Craumer, Martha. "Confrontation without Conflict." Harvard Management Communication

Letter. N.p., July 2001. Web. 26 June 2016. hmcl@hbsp.harvard.edu

Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without

Giving in. New York, NY: Penguin, 1991. Print.

Jones, Tricia S., and Ross Brinkert. Conflict Coaching: Conflict Management Strategies and

Skills for the Individual. Los Angeles: Sage Publications, 2008. Print.

Power, Rhett. "7 Qualities of People with High Emotional Intelligence." SUCCESS. N.p., 02

Apr. 2015. Web. 26 June 2016.