George R. Hague, Jr.

St. Mark's School of Texas 10600 Preston Road

Dallas, Texas 75230


Compiled by George R. Hague, Jr.

St. Mark's School of Texas 10600 Preston Road Dallas, TX 75230

Cover Drawing by James G. Hague

The following carols were written by Rod Levenduski, J.P.

Stevens H.S., Edison, NJ:


The Chemistry Teacher's Coming to Town------------------I'm Dreaming of a White Precipitate (First Verse Only)----

Silent Labs---------------------------------------------Deck the Labs--------------------------------------------

The Twelve Days of Chemistry----------------------------Test Tubes Bubbling-------------------------------------Oh Liitle Melting Particle-~----------------------------We Wish Vou a Happy Halogen-----------------------------I Saw Teacher Kissing Santa Molecule--------------------Chemistry Wonderland-------------------------------------

Lab Reports---------------------~------------------------

Oh Come All Ve 8ases------------------------------------We Three Students of Chemistry Are----------------------Iron the Red Atom Molecule------------------------------Silver Nitrate-------------------------------------------

The following are from George Hague, St. Mark's School Texas, Dallas, TX:

Oh Chemis-tree (Unknown Bernards (NJ) H.S. student)-------

0' Chemistry----------------------------------------------

The following are from Beverly A. Carmean, Frankford H.S., Philadelphia, PA:

I'm Dreaming of a White Precipitate (Second Verse by Tony

Bono)----------------------------------------------------- 1

God Rest Vou, Merry Chem Teacher (Tony Bono)-------------- 6 Ode to Manganese------------------------------------------ 10

The following are from Art Breyer, Beaver College, Glenside, P("~:

The Thermodynamics Final (Unknown)----------------------- 7 The Lucky Chemists (Unknown)----------------------------- 7

"hv" (G. St ead ) ---------------.------------------.--------.---------.-- 8

I'm Going to Be a Chemist (Unknown)---------------------- 10 The Chemist at Work (Unknown)---------------------------- 12


. .::.
. .,.




p:'r om Br'uc:r::~ BE~I~'mi:!I'n, Pi:II···s:i. pp anv 1···li 11 s H. 13"'J Pii:II"si pp any, N (":: \<\1 ,J 0.' r !!:; F."' y ~



From Mimi Ballou, Ball State University, Muncie, 11""', ell i:i\n i::1 ~

'r f:"' i:il c:: h. (,~ I'" i nth f,? 'r 0 (,oJ r : ' _ . : "'" - - .- ,- .. - "'" _ _ _ -" 1. :1.

Commercial Songs~


Air (Gerome Ragrii and James Rado)---~----~--------------- :1.2 The Ohemical Element~ (Tom Lehrer)----------------------~:1.3 I

Fr om nf:,~b (,'!:c c EI !3t:.I'·· :i. c k :i. Eln cl •. ' iDi::1 k 1 .. ·1 :i. 1 :I. !::; 1 .. 1 .. S .. , C i 1''', C i 1''',1''', <,:i t. :i., DH:

, ,

C I"', 0.! rrd. !s;t s -' ~ _ : _ ~ _ -:- - _. :1. 4 '

, I ,.. ~1;' '"1''' :.:] 1 1.. "'1' ( .. )·t··I..... 1.';·I·l"" 'I r .. , .. , .. "'1 , ("It I u

"'r C'llI " l. c.. ":'.(,::. "\!..1,::I(.J.r uc.. ""J • ·1 .. ~:I\<\I':1 r .. .1 .... !:> .... ;:'J .. , L! f:::L U, : .. t: ..

PDP~~ Goes the Hydrogen-----r----~-----~-~--------------- :1.4

T~is Lab is You0 Lab, This Lab is My Lab----------~-----~ 14

Frmn Jim Muselino, Valley ~~S., North Ker~ington, PA n' Frost~ the Photon----~-~----~--------------------~--~----' 1.6

From ~eth Jackson and Michael Newman, St .. Mark's School of Texas, Dallas, TX~

Th~ Test. Tube Song----------------------~--------~------- :1.6



You better not weigh You better not heat You better not react I'm telling you now

The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.

He's collecting data He's checking it twice He's goin to find out

the heat of melting of ice

The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town

He sees you when you're decanting He knows when you titrate

He knows when you are safe or not So wear goggles for goodness sake.

Oh you better not filter and drink your filtrate.

You bett~r not be careless and spill your precipitate.

The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.


I'm dreaming of a white precipitate just like the ones I use to make Where the colors are vivid

and the chemist is livid

to see impurities in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white precipitate with every chemistry test I write

May your equations be balanced and right and may all your reactions be bright.

I'm dreaming of a white precipitate just like the ones I use to know.

Where the chemicals glisten and the children listen

to hear explosions in the room.

I'm dreaming of a white precipitate with every report card I get.

May your labs be merry and right,

and may all your precipitates be white.




Silent labs- difficult labs

All with math- all with graphs Observations of colors and smells Cal c u I at:i. cins

and graph curves like bells Memories of tests that have past.

Oh-how long will chemistry last?

Silent labs- difficult labs

All with math- all with graphs. Lots of equations

that need balancing

Gas pressure problems

that make my head ring Santa Molecule's dn his way

01-) .... · pleas.;~? San'La bl"'ing mE' an "A".


Deck the labs with rubb~r tubing F,?\ 1. a 1 a etc:.

Use you~ funnel when you filter F ,a 1 a 1 c:\ et c •

Don we now goggles and aprons F ,a 1. a 1 a et c •

Before we go to our lab stations Fa la la etc.

Fill the b~akers with solutions Fa la la etc.

Mix solutions for reactions Fa la la etc.

Watch we now for observations Fa 1. c\ 1 a E·t c .

So we can collect our data F£:\ 1 a 1 c\ etc.


On the first day of chemistry My teacher gave to me

A candle from CHEM Study

(Second Day) Two ceramic pads

(Third Day) Three little beakers (Fourth Day) Four work sheets

(Fifth Day) Five golden moles

(Sixth Day) Six flaming test tubes (Seventh Day) Seven unknown samples (Eighth Day) Eight homework problems (Ninth Day) Nine grams of salt (Tenth Day) A ten page test (Eleventh Day) E~even molecules (Twelveth Day) A twelve point quiz



Test tubes bubbling in a water bath strong smells nipping at your nose.

Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow will find it hard to be inert tonight.

They know that Molecule's on his way

He's loaded lots of little electrons on his sleigh And every student's calculator is on the sly

To see if the teacher can really multipy (Replace 'the teacher' with your teacher's name)

And so I offer this simple phrase

To chemistry students in this room Although its been said many ways Merry Molecules to you.


Para Dichloro benzene

how do you melt 50 well?

The plateau of your cooling curve is really something swell

We think the heat of fusion

of water is 50 nice

Give up 14 hundred cals per mole and what you get is ice.


We wish you a happy halogen We wish you a happy halogen We wish you a happy halogen To react with a metal.

Good acid we bring

to you and your base

We wish you a Merry Molecule and a Happy Halogen.


I saw teacher kissing Santa Molecule underneath the Chemis-tree last night.

They didn't see me sneak down the periodic chart to take a peek

At all the atoms reacting in their beakers; it was neat.

And I saw teaher kissing Santa Molecule underneath the Chemis-tree so bright Oh what a reaction there would have been if the principal had w~lked in

with teacher kissing Santa Molecule last night.



Gases explode are you listen'n

In your test tube silver glistens

A beautiful sight we're happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland.

Gone away 15 the bouyancy here to stay is the density

A beautiful sight we're happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland.

In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and decide if what's left is nitrate

1"1'y' piat'tl"'IE'r" a!::,kf",? II:OCr \,'J(": l'i'lf:?i:I,!::,ur'e it in moles or" gr'ams'?11 and I"ll !:::,aY'J "Do(7?!:, it mr':3,t.t€~r" in the end',?"

Later on as we calculate t.he amount of our nit.rate We'll face unatrald

the precipitates that we made Walking in a chemistry wonderland.


Dashing through the lab

with a ten page lab report Taking all those tests

and laughing at them all Bells for fire drills ring making spirits bright

What fun it is to laugh and sing a chemistry song tonight.

Dh lab reports- lab reports reacting all the way

Dh what fun it is to study

for a chemistry test today HEY!

Chemistry test- thinking test. :i.s,r",'t it i::l b la s t;

Dh what fun it is to take

a chemistry test and pass.


Dh Chemis-t.ree? Dh Chemis-t.ree

How brightly burns your Bunsen burner The sight of thee at Chemis-tree tide

Spreads fear of all mad scientists far and wide Dh Chemis-tree, Dh Chemis-tree

How bright.ly glows your Bunsen burner

Dh Chemis-tree, Dh Chemis-tree Thou hast a wonderou5 mes5age~ Beware of all crazy potions

and Mr. Hague's grand explosions! Dh Chemis-tree1 Dh Chemis-t.ree Thou hast a wonderous message.



Dh come all ye gases Di atomi C [,o,londer-s

Oh come ye, Oh come ya Calls Avogadr-o

Oh come ye in moles 6 x 10 to the 23r-d

Oh molar- mass adn molecules

Oh volume, pr-essur-e and temper-atur-e Oh molar- volume of gases at STP


We thr-ee students of chemistr-y ar-e Taking tests that we think ar-e har-d Stoichiometr-y, volumes and densities Wor-r-ying all the time.

Oh r-oom of wonder-

r oom Dor~ frooight

r-Dom of ther-mite's bhnding light;

With your- ener-gies please don't bur-n us

Help us get our- labs all r-ight.


Ther-e was Cobalt and Ar-gon and Car-bon and Fluor-ine, Silver- and Bor-on and Neon and Br-omine

But do you r-ecall

the most famous element of all?

Ir-on the r-ed atom molecule had a ver-y shiny or-bital and if you ever- saw him

you'd enjoy his magnetic glow.

All of the other- molecules

used to laugh and call him Fer-r-um they n~ver- let poor- Ir-on

join in any r-eaction games.

Then Dne iner-t Chemistr-y eve Santa came to say

Ir-on with your- or-bital 50 bright

won't you catalyze the r-eacton tonight?

Then how the atoms r-eacted

and combied in twos and thr-ees.

Ir-on the r-ed atom molecule you'll go down in CHEMISTRY!



Silver nitrate- Silver nitrate it's chemistry time in the lab Ding-a-ling, with a copper ring soon it will be Chemistry Day

Take your nitrate, in solution add your copper in style

in the beaker there's a feeling of reactions silver forming, and blue solution

bringing oooh's, ah's and wows

now the data processing begins.

Get the mass-change to moles what is the ratio with copper?

Write the equation- balance it we're glad it·s Chemistry Day.


God rest you merry chem teacher let nothing you dismay.

Remember that our lab reports are due on Chemistry Day.

To save us all from flunking out when we are gone astray.

0' combining of chlorine and zinc, chlorine and zinc.

O' combining of chlorine and zinc.

. ...


O' Chemistry, 0' Chemistry Thy odors are 50 unchanging

Not only smells when lab is here but when Mr. Hague is near.

0' Chemistry, O' Chemistry

Thy odors are so unchanging.


THE THERMODYNAMICS FINAL (Bc!ttl e Hym o{; thE' Hepubl i c)

1. Free energy and entropy were whirling in his brain.

With partial differentials and Greek letters in their train; For delta, sigma, gamma, theta, epsilon and pi

were causes of distraction as they danced before his eye.

Chorus: Glory, glory, dear old thermo, Glory, glory, dear old thermo, Glory, glory, dear old thermo, I'll get you by and by.

2. Activity and fugacity revolved within his mind,

Like molecules and atoms that you never have to wind.

With logarithmic functions doing cake-walks in his dreams, And partial molal quantities about to make him scream.

3. They asked him on the final if a mole of any gas

In a vessel with a membrane through which hydrogen could pass Were compressed to half its volume, what the entropy would be If two-thirds delta sigma equalled half of delta P.

4. He said he guessed the entropy would have to equal four, Unless the second law would bring it up a couple more. But then it might be seven, if the thermostat was good, or it might be almost zero if once rightly understood.

5. The professor read his paper with corrugated brow, ,

For he knew he'd have to grade it but he didn't quite know how Till a sudden inspiration on his cerebellum smote,

And he seized his trusty fountain pen and this is what he wr"ote:

6. "Just <:~s you gUf2ssed the entrc!py, I'll have to guess your' gr'ade.!

But the second law won't raise it to the mark you might have made

For it might have been a hundred if your guesses had been good But I think it must be z aro till they're rightly under"stoc<d."

THE LUCKY CHEMISTS (Pluld Li:.'1ng Syne·)

Berzalius was a lucky man-- the luckiest ever seen He never saw tellurium or worked with pyridine.

And Bunsen, he was lucky too-- he never had a wife, With fulminates and cacodyl, content to spend his life.

And Avogadro, he had luck-- he never had to know

How f:reshman ask ten thousand ti mes: "\,l.lhy is it H t~\lO D?" The luckiest chemist of them all was Kekule, I mean,

For in his slumbers came to him, the structure of benzene.


The revolutionary effects of the introduction of the quantum theory were given humorous expression in this jingle, which was one of many that added hilarity to the annual dinner meetings of the physics professors and students at Cavendish Laboratory, Cambridge University, England.

1. All black-body radiations, All the spectrum variations, All atomic oscillations

Vi;:'.F·y i:!tE;; "hv '",

Chorus: Here's the right relation Governs radiation,

I·-!l,:;:,n:;:, 's ·U-·, e n el'J

P,nd on Ly tl'-U~? Electrodynamical equation; Never mind your d/dt2

(If you lo'Jat.ch the f,:tctor "c211} I s equal to "hv ? ,

2. Ult.raviolet vibrations,

x- and gamma-ray pulsat.ions, Ordinary light sensations

(-n 1. fjbey "hv".

3. E'en in matters calorific, Such things as heat specific Yield to t.reat.ment scientific If YC)l.1 use "hv".

4. In questions energetic, Whet.her static or kinetiC, or elect.ric or magnetic, You. mu st; u~~<=! "hv".

5. We have seen a mighty clearance; Now we all are Planck's adherents, For now even interference

Is bias<7?d t-lpon II I···, v II •

_._.- G. St.ead

f~d,;:q:)t.E'd f r· om II Th e Pc)stpr- an d i .::\1 Pr·oceed i 11<;:~!::. c,f th f2 Cavi::'.l"1cH ~::.h S D C :i f!£' t; Y ," ,:J o h n S .:t t. t e r :I. y 'I e!.!f!.!~;:'rJ c:;..§VJ. __ .i!..~~b.ll::n.§:\.L_.Q.L . ..f.:.t!y.§:.t.E.l?., V D 1. "7

(:L 9:~:9) •


We are all familiar with J.J. Thomson's reputation as a physicist but few recognize his talent for song writing. The following song, with lyrics by J.J. Thomson, was uncovered by Br'uce Bel~m.~,m C'l'f F'arsipp.:\ny Hills (N,J) H.S. The tune i!5 "DerLi n q Clementine".


1. In the dusty lab'ratory

'Mid the coils and wax and twine, There the atoms in their glory, IonIze and recombine.

Chorus~ Oh my darlings! Oh my darlings!

Oh my darling ions mine!

You are lost and gone forever When just once you recombine!

2. In a tube quite electrodeless, They discharge around a line,

And the glow they leave behind them Is quite corking for a time.

3. And with quite a small expansion, 1.8 or' :I. .. 9,

You can get a cloud delightful, Which explains both snow and rain.

4. In the weird magnetic circuit See how lovingly they twine, As each ion describes a spiral Round its own magnetic line ..

5. Ultra-violet radiation

From the arc of glowing lime, Soon discharges a conductor

If it's charged with minus sign.

6. Alpha rays from radium bromide Cause a zinc~blende screen to shine, Set it glowing, clearly showing Scintillations all the time.

7. Radium bromide emanation, Rutherford did first devine, Turns to helium, then Sir William Got the spectrum- every line.



(Tune~ It.'~;, iiil Loriq , Long vJay t.o T:i.pper"ar·y")

It's not easy to be a chemist It's a long way to go; Qualitative, quantitative,

Must be accurate~ you know. Precipitation, then filtration~ Colloids make me tear my hair~

It's a long, hard road to be a chemist But (Name of your school) leads there.

Many curious carbon compounds~ In combustion I burn.

To my panic, bonds organic Are too devious to learn. Aliphatic, aromatic

Pyrrol, benzene or lactene ri~g?

It's a long, hard road to be a chemist, But I'll be that thing.

Then they fed me assorted physics, Mass Law, Phase Rule and light dart, With mathematics, the fanatics,

Tore our atoms all apart.

Molecules we thought were stable, Snapped in activated state,

Oh, I'm bound I'm going to be a chemist Working -- early and late.

In a factory for experience In chemical technology--

Valves and levers, were deceivers All were mysteries to me.

How they work evaporators, Autoclave, tank tower and still! When at last I get to be a chemist, I'll be thankful, I will!

ODE TO MANGANESE ("Thfz.:' Ai r Forc e Scmq ")

Manganese, under the wild blue younder, nodules on the ocean floor.

Manganese, sometimes it's mixed with iron, dig it out; let's qet some more.

Manganese, I know no use for it except in permanganate.

If the UUUUUNNNNN of the Russians qet it, then it will 1:)(,,":) t.oo 1 ate.


TEACHER IN THE TOWN (T.:."'tvet-n in the Town )

There is a teacher in the town (in the town) He's lea~ing campus, cap & gown (cap & gown) And he drinks his wine

With n'er a thought

For' ChfE!mi stry.

Fare thee well for I must leave thee Do not let this parting grieve thee

For the time has come when school and I must !:,ay adi eu

Adieu, my dear principal? adieu (yes, adieu) I can no longer stay with you (stay with you) Cause my tubes are cracked

My Bunsen burner's out

And my message I will shout.

There was a teacher in the town (in the town) He left the campus, cap and gown (cap and gown) He's maldng wine

Is happy as can be

r~~nd camhing in

On Ch(~'m:i. str-y.

Fare thee well, my teaching's over Give my lunch room chow to Rover For the time has come

When I must earn some dough (real dough)

When dough is scarce and that I know (that I know) To NSF I cannot go, cannot go (cannot go)

With cuts and cuts, I think I'm going nuts?

No i {:.§" no ~.\ps., no ar',d!!!i ejf- ~llil!§ .•

There is a teacher in the town (in the town) Now, he sleeps in cap and gown (cap and gown) He drinks his wine

Is merry as cab be

Nay IF<S

Get well with thee.



(Tune-I: "I'vf:? Bf::I(::-n 1,\Jc<I'··k:i.ng on thf:~ F~ailr"oad")

I've been working in Organic, all the livelong day.

I've been working on mercaptans, just to pass the time away. Can't you smell them when you enter? The sweetest perfume I know.

Can't you hear the little atoms, rearrange themselves?

Changing their configurations, just like bottles on the shelves. When you see a double bonding? enter through the door,

Hydrogens upon the carbons, hop along Dnce more.

Once a chemist was producing-- an explosive new brew.

But the temperature kept rising-- and now he's rising too.

They say fame's ladder's bad for climbing-- consider the fellow in the a i r ,

It's plain that chemistry is spreading in the field most G)vE~r'y~"h(=lr'€~ •

AIR (Fn::H1'I tl'''le t'luf:::.i c a l "H2'd I'" ")

Welcome sulfur dioxide. Hello carbon monoxide.

The air, the air is everywhere.

Breathe deep while you sleep, breathe deep.

Bless you alcohol blood stream, Save me nicotine lung stream. Incense, incense is in the air.

Breathe deep while you sleep, breathe deep.

Cataclysmic ectoplasm, fallout atomic orgasm. Vapor and fume at the stone of my tomb, Breathing like a sullen perfume,

Eating at the stone of my tomb.

Welcome sulfur dioxide.

Hello carbon monoxide.

The air, the air is everywhere. Breathe deep while you sleep,

breathe deep, deep deep de-deep~ (cough, cough)



By Torn Lehret- +rorn the· a l bum "An EVf:?rd. ng lo"",;:IE5tf."i'cl wi th Tom L€,?hrer", RE~pr-isf:'· RecI:lrd CD., lq~59 .. The tun!':! if:; "I am tl-,e vc.,::.r"Oy' mc:rdf:?l o+ a 1'1ajt:)rO 8EmE~ral" +r cm the 8i I b ert; arrd l3ull i v an oper°!'::tta "Piri.'iltes of P~?n<-:':Il .... ce".

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium and niFkel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,

and iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium, europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,

and lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium and gold, protactinium and indium, and gallium

and iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium and terbium, actinium, rubidium and borDn, gadolinium, niDbium, iridium and

strontium and silicDn and silver and samarium, bismuyh, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium ..

Isn't that interesting?

I knew you WOUld.

I hope you're all taking notes because there's gonna be a short quiz next period.

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium

and phosphorus a~d francium and fluorine and ytterbium and manganese and mercury, molybdenium and magnesium dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium

and lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium, palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium

and tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium

and cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There's sulf~r, californium and fermium, berkelium and also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium

and argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium

and chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard and there may be many others but they haven't been discovered.


CHEMISTS (Tune~ Do-Re-Mi)

C for computers, our best friends H the simpliest element

E Einstein, whom we adore M for metal-ligand bonds

I for idiots soon we will be S for striving we will go

T our comprehensive tests

Add an S and we're CHEMISTS

This is a good song to sing on bus trips. The song may be repeated over and over again.


All around the chemistry lab

The teacher chased the test tube

The students thought it was all in fun. Pop!- Goes the hydrogen.

A flaming splint for CO2

A glowing splint for O2 That's the way the gases go Pop!- Goes the hydrogen.


1. This lab is your lab This lab is my lab,

From the cor-ner faucet,

To the eye wash sta-tion From the draf-ty fume hood, To the old broom clos-et

This lab was made for you and me!

2. This lab is your lab, This lab is my lab,

From the door-way show-er fo the fire out-er,

From the pitted bench tops, To the spotted floor tiles,

This lab was made for you and me!



~. This lab is your lab, This lab i5 my lab,

From the stopped up sink drains, To the jet stream faucets?

From the ab-sent vae-uums,

To the lea-ky gas jets,

This lab was made for you and me!

4. This lab is your lab, This lab is my lab~

From the bun-sen burners,

To the brit-tIe tubing,

From the hair-less brushes, To the un-washed test tubes,

This lab was made for you and me!

5. This lab is your lab~ This lab is my lab,

From the blink-ing light tuhes, To the off-time wall clock,

From the loud-mouth in-ter-come, To the taped up window,

This lab was made for you and me!

b. This lab is your lab, This lab is my lab,

From the blue first aid kit, fo the new com-pu-ter,

From the ref-erence shelf books, To "f:.I··H:' pun-·-qr=.'nt odors ,

This lab was made for you and me!

7. This lab is your lab, This lab is my lab,

From the shelves of sol-vents,

To the ni-cest stu-dents,

From the jars of in-di-um

To the great big car-buoys, Car-buoys and in-diums we will play!




Frosty the Photon was quite a Cjl .. t;;:\nturn !,;:i. ql"',t ?

With a zero mass and an endless

life, and a speed approaching light.

There must have been some magic in a physics lab one year,

For when they studied X-ray ~eams, ole Frosty did appear.

Frosty the Photon says he knows he's not that large,

But he says Qne day if he comes this way, he will give us all a charqe.

:rln.,urlj::! :i, t y O! t.: h ump t.1"n,urq::i O! t; h 1...\ m p i t .. y'

t.hump t.rrump O!

Moving fast as liqht.

Thumpity, thump th0mp, thumpity t,I''', urnp t.1''', ump 0)

Frosty's out of sight.


Oh test. tube, test tube, t.est. tube, I made you out of Pyrex and when your hot and ready, oh test tube

\',1 f.:;: !",I"', ii,( I], P I <",, y •

Yes test tube, test. tube, test tube, 'I ~~de you out. of Pyrex and you won't break when your heat.ed and with you I shall play! Hooray!

~ ; ,

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