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Eventually what I want to direct your attention to will probably come to pass as well. Eventually you will develop a deep understanding of these difficult events in your life, and you will find some hidden value in them. Eventually, indirect language patterns will become second nature to you. Imagine that. I don't know if _____. I don't know if you're going to like this game better than any other learning game you've ever played. I don't know what things in particular you will enjoy the most. I really don't know if this experience is going go change your life. Don't ask me, I don't know. Maybe you'll ____. Maybe you'll direct some unusual embedded commands to your friends while you play Zebu. Maybe you'll dream of new ways to say things tonight. Maybe you'll spot the embedded commands in these sentences. It's easy to _____, is it not? Is it not is another one of those endings that softens a statement into a question. And it's a bit confusing to disagree with, is it not? It's easy to go into trance, is it not? It's easy to discover something special deep inside, is it not? And if I say that something is easy, you probably try doing it to see if I'm right. Maybe you haven't ..., yet. Maybe you haven't, maybe you have, who knows, I'm just making an observation, but when that yet comes along, there's a strong implication that sooner or later you're going to! Maybe you haven't decided to buy copies of Zebu for all of your friends ... yet. Who knows? There's still time ... It's just an observation. www.deeptrance.now.com
They are selective of what they want to hear." . What you desire. Now. Statement 3. it is the awareness of what tools you use at any particular time that empowers you in the conversation. Command Let's put this into practice: Our template sentence will be the sentence: "Please shut the door on your way out. and has a significant influence on the meaning of your communication and the reactions you will get.NLP And Tonality Patterns By Gloria Hamilten Article Word Count: 452 Tonality in your conversation is actually worth 38% of the content of your message. Tonality patterns are a very effective way for you to match the tonality of the sentences you use with the other person. isn't it? But there is no guarantee of that because people hear what they hear based on their past experiences. obvious as it will be once you read this. is that the response will be the one you want. One of the things we will look at later is how to match and mirror another person in rapport building. It markedly affects how others will respond to your words and to your message. There are three tonality patterns: 1. Question 2.
isn't there? So in summary: o In the question. o In a command. So. we will say that same sentence again. In a statement.Harmless little sentence. with no modulation. "Please shut the door on your way out. does it? 3. the voice goes up at the end. the voice goes down at the end. The tonality in a question goes up at the end of a sentence. o In a statement.Say the sentence now as though it were a question. Make up your own sentences and have fun experimenting with these three tonality patterns. when you lower your voice. the modulation of the voice is rather even. "Please shut the door on your way out." The underlined words. There is the added emphasis on the word 'door'. I can guarantee a lot of laughing doing these. the voice stays plateaued. There is also a bit of irony in your voice with that raising. the command tonality. isn't it? But look what we can do with it when we change out tonality. there is a certain extra emphasis on the underlined words above. as it should in a command. It doesn't raise a reaction of any sort."Please shut the door on your way out?"Because you need to raise your voice at the end of that sentence. Let's have a go doing that. him to 'boom' at you. Here the voice goes down at the end." Each word has equal importance and strength in the sentence. there are no emphases at the end. Now the third one. isn't there? 2. Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development . 1.
Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: "Successful Self-Hypnosis" and many Reports and online articles. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.and People Skills for Business Professionals. Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as AD-HD and its relations. such as Time Management. research. Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia. Assertion Skills. She has her own training business. presentations and workshops. one-on-one coaching. . Negotiation Skills. Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres. Building International Rapport. Presentation and Platform Skills. group coaching. Conflict Management and Resolution. and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations. Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study. Developing High-Performance Teams.
What this does is realign your spine. With a few exceptions (such as when you wish to play on a weakness) you want to both look and sound like you are in command. stick your chest out and lift your head up. . In this part we will look at some of the basic tonality exercises including posture. about shoulder width apart. Some people naturally seem to have great control over the tonality of their voice. There are a number of exercises you can perform which is why this article is part one of a two part series. Stand up with your legs slightly bent at the knee. Notice how much more authoritative you sound. Stand up in a slumped position. Allow your arms to go limp and twist your hips to the left so that your hands gently slap on your lower back.Tonality Exercises For Hypnotists – The Basics May 17th. You can hear this for yourself right now. Repeat the same sentence you said earlier. This will make people listen to what you have to say. my name is ___” out loud. however most need to perform exercises and practice to get it just right. Posture Stretches If you find it hard to maintain good posture as a result of bad habits then there are a few exercises you can perform to remedy this. Now remain standing but straighten up your back. stage hypnotist or someone who uses covert hypnosis if your voice isn’t pleasant to listen to then people aren’t going to take your suggestions on board. 2010 | Author: dougslater Practicing your tonality is very important for anyone who wishes to become a master hypnotist. making proper posture more natural. head down and say “Hello. Perfecting your tonality means that that your use of techniques such as embedded commands and pacing becomes all the more effective. Keep doing this from left to right about fifty times. Whether you wish to become a clinical hypnotherapist. posture stretches and breathing. Posture Your posture has a direct affect on the tonality of your voice.
I hope you’ve been practicing as we will now be moving onto a set of more advanced tonality exercises. . Inflection Controlling your inflection is important because it defines what you say as being either a question. This is an exercise you may have to do each day for a few weeks until breathing from your diaphragm becomes natural and instinctive. these exercises are sure to help you. 2010 | Author: dougslater In my last article here on NLP Hypnosis Secrets I taught you a few simple exercises to improve your control over the tonality of your voice. command or statement. Now allow your shoulders to drop. a command ends in a downward inflection and a statement is flat. This means breathing in a slow. Stand up and place your hand over your stomach. This will give your voice more power and resonance. To alleviate this shrug your shoulders as high up as you can towards your ears and hold them there for five seconds. I hope you have enjoyed these tonality exercises. Whether you’re a hypnotist or just someone who wishes to sound more like a leader. A question ends in an upward inflection. Breathing To have that commanding voice you need you must also breath properly as well as having the correct posture. Advanced Tonality Exercises For Hypnotists June 1st.You may also have tension in you shoulders that causes you to hold them higher than you should. It is also necessary to breath from the diaphragm rather than the chest like most people do. I hope to have part two up some time next week. Then roll your shoulders right back and squeeze them together for another five seconds. deep and calm manner. Breathe in slowly and deeply. you should find that your shoulders drop back to where they should be. As you breathe out let out a soft sigh “ahhhh” and repeat this process over and over. allow your stomach rather than your chest to expand.
” Keep cycling through each inflection until it becomes instinctive and natural. Below are a few for you to practice.” Pausing Pausing is one of the most powerful tools in communication. Try saying that sentence out loud and you will hear that you actually say amazing in an excited manner. “Feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed. . It can build suspense and anticipation. The same holds true for many other words. and when you say them in your everyday life you will unconsciously say them in an emotional manner. Know that your choice of inflection has a profound affect on the person you are hypnotizing. “Imagine yourself floating on a soft. adding these emotional inflections. and it can also allow your words to really resonate before you carry on with your message. Fantastic Imagine Fast Whisper Powerful Driven Smooth Careful Soothing Relax Hectic Crazy Down Incredible Rocket Now try adding some of these words (or ones of your own into a hypnotic sentence) and speak it out loud. Rarely will you be asking questions and most of the time you should be using a commanding inflection. Because they are consciously focusing on talking slowly in a “hypnotic” manner they end up sounding more robotic than hypnotic.Try saying the sentence below as a question. Emotion One problem many hypnotists have in their early stages of development is a lack of emotion in their voice. For example. comfortable cloud. then a command and finally as a statement. Certain words bring about emotional responses. if you were telling a friend about a shot you hit on the golf course you might say “I hit the most amazing shot the other day!”.
Many people have a tendency to talk to quickly. Record yourself for a minute or two and then listen back to it. a novel. However this often makes them sound anxious and unsure of themselves. Related posts: When you improve your tone of voice. Concentrate on your nose as you repeat the word until you can feel your nose vibrating. You may also want to leave a short pause after a certain word which you want to put added emphasis on. you will discover how easy it is to get people to respond to you in a positive and accommodating fashion. as if they are trying to fit in as much information in a small gap as possible. You can ready literally anything out loud whether it’s a hypnosis script. . Exercise 1: Moving your voice around Press your hand on your nose and say "nose". I hope these tonality exercises will help raise your hypnotic abilities to a new level. And finally on your chest saying "chest". sentences and paragraphs or does everything just run together into one big block? Keep practicing until you get it just right. When you tend to talk in a hypnotic manner you want to leave clear pauses between sentences. It may be helpful to imagine that at the end of every sentence you speak there is an ellipses…Allow a couple of seconds to pass before starting the next sentence. It's one of the most important skills for getting on in life. Now do the same exercise with your hand on your throat saying "throat". a magazine…anything. The best way to practice this is with a dictaphone or microphone hooked up to your computer so you can record yourself. Are you leaving adequate gaps between commas.
Once you have found your pitch then hum 'umm' followed immediately by the word 'ready'. After a couple of minutes using these methods you should notice that your voice sounds crisper and the sound has better attack. Repeat this ten times. Repeat this ten times.Keep practicing until you can really feel the vibration in each place. This is the facial area surrounding the nose and mouth. 'three'. This is very difficult if there is any tension in the jaw or face. Exercise 2: Using your range Starting from a high note say 'ar' (as in the letter r) keeping your mouth open allow the note to drop down until your breath runs out. Hum and then allow your lips to vibrate. There are two ways to do this: Hum at whatever pitch is most comfortable for you. Starting from a low note say 'ou' (As in you without the y). This sound may remind the British reader of Frankie Howard. Allow the pitch to rise and fall. 'one'. Do this a few times. Exercise 3: Resonate To use your voice correctly it must resonate in the 'mask'. The best way to improve is to spend about 5 minutes a day going through these exercises. allowing the note to rise until you cannot support the sound. then try the words 'now'. Notice how different each one sounds. If you drive to work on your own then there is no excuse not to improve your tone daily . Done correctly for a few minutes. 'two'. your face will start to feel numb. You are attempting to sound like a dove.
the basis of Modeling By John James Santangelo C. get a better understanding of where they are coming from.5 Your rating: None Average: 4.NLP.rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding. When you are in rapport with another person. and as a result. and heard and it doesn’t mean that they have to agree with what the other person says or does. A 1970 study conducted at the University of Pennsylvania by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and . enhance the whole relationship. See all articles by John James Santangelo See John James Santangelo's expert page Average: 4. Mirror and Matching.Ht. feel the way they do. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective. Which gives a person the freedom to fully express their ideas and concerns and to know that they will be respected by the other person(s).5 (2 votes) Share | Rapport is the foundation for any meaningful interaction between two or more people . Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened to.. to respect and honor the other person’s world.
As the conversations progressed. eye blinks and head nods. To the extent possible. you may interpret ‘awesome’ as ‘outstanding’ and use this word when speaking to me. Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. including "implicit" and "explicit" modeling formats.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match physiology. For me ‘outstanding’ may have a different meaning or evoke a different feeling than ‘awesome’. you should also use mainly visual words and similarly for auditory. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements. Anthony Robbins stated: “People who like each other tend to be like each other. and the use of . voice. NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. In your model of the world. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world. realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -. you should also use the same words as the other person.unconscious. For example. pacing and leading skills will enable you to become "like" the other person. Mirroring. it was found that some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment too. match predicates. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world For words. The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. words etc. and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. to make him feel you understand him. I may say something is ‘awesome’. If your partner is using mainly visual words.) When they were monitored using electroencephalographs. Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. kinesthetic and auditory digital words. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. To overcome this uneasiness. and cover a range of modeling skills. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process. In this case. tonality and predicates (process words). these people were getting into rapport with each other. matching.body language. you would not be matching but mismatching my words.
Choose a partner. 3. Enter into a conversation with the person. and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion. that is.. using the same types of gestures. If you are completely mirroring the other person. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling. voice tone and breathing. you will be sitting in the same posture. and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically. you will even be breathing at the same rate and in the same part of the chest cavity as the other. 1. 2. When you are fully mirroring. or person to converse with. make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner. "So what you are saying is. Notice what it feels like when you have reached this level of rapport. as the other person.. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring. [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'. for example: Body posture Spinal alignment Hand gestures Head tilt .] 4. by commenting.multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this.. you can try out what it is like to abruptly mismatch the other person in posture. asking for his or her opinions about various subjects. 7. begin to subtly mirror the other person's physiology (including voice tone and tempo). reflecting back statements the person has made. 5. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing. try out the following exercise. Mirroring Exercise Mirroring is a method of building a strong "second position" with someone else. As you are conversing. One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person's internal experience. gestures. speaking at a similar speed and volume. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received. and in a similar voice tone range. 6.". and you will "pick up" information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation. One way to test your degree of rapport is by "second guessing" the other person's opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Any observable behavior can be mirrored. To get another sense of the influence of mirroring on your interaction.
merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror.you have led their behavior! Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. When you have mirrored them for a while. choose one of their behaviors (eg." Exercise 2 Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else's behavior.) This is a way of building rapport that is very difficult to detect.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops! To mirror another person. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in. matching their breathing rate to your head tilt. Exercise 3 Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror. then move yours to the same .Blink rate Facial expression Energy level Breathing rate Vocal qualities (volume. and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others (nb. rhythm) Key phrases Anything else that you can observe… Exercise 1 Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal. and think you are in rapport with the person. behavioral signal that you have met someone at their map of the world. most effective test for rapport is "if you lead. The simplest. and then do that behavior. when the person moves their head. wait a few moments. they follow. scratch your nose. speaking rate.) Many people (especially in the area of sales) are familiar with rapport-building techniques and are particularly aware of body posture mirroring. It refers to meeting them at their map of the world (pacing) and then taking them where you want them to go (leading.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others. and still highly effective.) Rapport is a basic. Pacing and leading is one of the keys to influencing people. If you choose to mirror head tilt. or their eye blinks to your foot-taps. Exercise 4 During a conversation with another person. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. congratulate yourself . If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so. tonality. Cross-over matching involves matching another person's behavior with a different behavior of your own (eg. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (eg.
At work or socially. When you first start the practice of mirroring. Mirroring can build a deep sense of trust quickly. Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person's experience. if they adjust their glasses. notice how often you naturally match their postures. It should be subtle and respectful.practice is the key to building skill. Reading is sadly not enough . When matching or mirroring someone's voice. you match/mirror a portion of the other person's body. you can do crossover matching. However. For example. The fact that you've read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. a few notes of caution are appropriate: Mirroring is not the same as mimicry. Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand. you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you're doing. do that with their tonality. Meaning. with a different portion of your own body. When you crossover match/mirror. you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly! And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious. and then match another. gestures. Matching comes naturally. start by matching one specific behavior and once you are comfortable doing that. This is best to do when you are matching someone's rate of breathing. And remember you don't have to do all of these things. Practice You may wish to start with family members and begin to match different aspects of their posture. then just move your foot. what you need to do is learn how to do it with everyone. you would raise your left hand (i. a responsibility to use it ethically. voice and words. then matching will become automatic whenever you wish to deepen your rapport with someone. however.e. gestures tone of voice or words. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror. volume. if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking. you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. mirror image). Have fun with it and see if they notice what you are doing. To match this same person. so do the exercises.angle. it is out of consciousness for the other person. and the rate at which they speak. After a while. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. . and you don't wear any. you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For friends with whom you really feel comfortable. just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases. When this is done elegantly. Mirroring is as if you were looking into a mirror.
not verbatim. Being corrected can strengthen rapport because then you backtrack again and the person really feels you understand. When you lose rapport you have to find a way to regain it. breathing. It is the responses that you get and your own flexibility that hold the ultimate power in establishing. This means intentionally mismatch posture. key words and gestures. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. When you are "in" continue doing your mirroring and backtracking skills. deepening and maintaining rapport is the ability to pay attention to the responses you are getting. maintain and deepen rapport. recover. The backtrack is the thread that tightens the rapport.) Rapport is such a people oriented process yet I am describing practical techniques to establish. There may be times that you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. When you are "out" utilize your flexibility and change what you are doing until you are back on track. It can and does feel mechanical! However after a while they become streamlined in your behavior. breathing. However losing rapport is like losing your balance. If you practice these skills and have no real interest in the other person the rapport will not develop. key words/gestures. mirror posture. you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. of what the person had just said. maintaining and deepening rapport. There are times when you backtrack and the other person adds on or corrects you. Some of the ways to regain rapport are to backtrack accurately."Anchor Point 1987. You fall. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. It also gives you a chance to ensure your own understanding and/or ask for clarification. Behind any technique there must be an authenticity of caring and real concern for the other person. and get back up again. The key element within establishing. . The response will let you know if you are in or out of rapport. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Agree completely while breaking rapport. When you are in conversation with another person whether it is business or personal take the opportunity to give back to the person the information you are receiving. and voice quality. This lets the person know that you were listening and that you understand without judgment. building. If you don't pay attention to the other person it doesn't matter how proficient you become in your NLP techniques. breathing. If you were matching posture. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people.Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. (See "Technicians Need Not Apply. All experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment. voice characteristics and did not attempt to backtrack your rapport would eventually slip through the cracks. key words and gestures and voice characteristics. There is also the possibility that being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. Backtracking is saying back the essence. Although that may work I recommend mismatching.
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