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Chapter I | Football

General Football Records


(1) UCF is the 2017-2018 national champion.
(2) If Kirk Cousins goes to the Jaguars and not the Jets, no championship he wins will count
in the personal record book (Still pending sort of since Kirk is with the Vikings now –
possible in future he could go to Jags).
(3) Eli manning has 1 ring. He doesn’t get one for throwing a ball into David Tyree's face /
Tyree getting a football stuck in his helmet.
(4) Carson Wentz has a SB 52 ring. Foles doesn’t.
(5) The Raiders defeated the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup in 2002 (Tuck Rule
game), then would defeat the Rams in Super Bowl 36. In this scenario also, Bill Belichick
was also "fired and looking for a job" after the Tuck Rule game and has 0 rings.
(6) If the 2017 Patriots won Super Bowl 52, James Harrison would not have a ring (Patriots
lost to Eagles).
(7) Peyton Manning has one ring (Broncos ring does not count).
(8) Peyton Manning must give such ring he lost (above) to Von Miller, who thus has 2 rings.
(9) Aaron Rodgers can have all the rings he wants for keeping all of central Wisconsin
employed.
(10) Brian Billick has 0 rings (2000 Ravens SB) because that defense carried him.
(11) Tony Boselli is a Hall of Famer.
(12) Tarik Cohen is an honorary Jew.
(13) JuJu Smith-Schuster is also an honorary Jew. L'Chaim.
(14) Drew Brees has three rings for winning the super bowl for the city if New Orleans (there
was discussion on this where the number started at three, went up to five, came down to
two, but iirc it ended up at three)
(15) Mike McCarthy has no Super Bowl rings. Dan also has this in his record book. In fact,
McCarthy has -3 (negative three) rings.
Chapter II | Basketball
Kevin Durant
(1) If Westbrook wins a championship and beats Kevin Durant along the way in the playoffs,
Westbrook will have won 2 championship rings.
(2) Kevin Durant has -1 rings (negative 1 rings). As of 4/11/18 Durant has -4 Rings. Here is
a tweet transcript of the conversation where this was
discovered. https://twitter.com/AndFinallyDLB/status/984180896927543297
(3) If Kevin Durant wins an NBA title for the NY Knicks, he will gain 11 rings. However, as
seen above, Durant has -4 rings and if he were to remain at -4, then win for the Knicks,
he will have 7 rings total.
• This number is subject to change based on Stugotz altering the "-4" current total as
seen recently when Stugotz adjusted the number from 0 rings to -1 rings to -4 rings.
• Another interesting note is that Stugotz has also said, If the Warriors won a
championship playing 3 on 5 Kevin Durant would have 1 ring.
o I am unsure if this means he would gain +1 ring, and therefore be down to -3
rings total, or whether it means if they win a championship 3 on 5, he would
be at (positive)+1 ring total.
(4) Kevin Durant's dagger in Game 3 did not count, because according to Stugotz none of
Durant's stats count. KD's official stat line last night was 0/0/0 and the Cavs blew the
Warriors out by 40.
(5) Anything Kevin Durant has done with the Warriors is not in in Stugotz' personal record
scroll. (Stugotz did not take his feathered pen and write anything in his scroll (King Roy
approves)).
(6) Westbrook had ALL of KD's rings.
Michael Jordan
(1) Jordan has 9 rings since (a) the Rockets have to give their 2 rings from 1994 and 1995 to
Jordan, and (b) the Bulls would have won the 1999 Finals over the Spurs if Jordan didn't
retire.
(2) Michael Jordan was suspended for 2 years for gambling (Said 4/25/18 Hour 2, 14:30 in
podcast). But MJ still has 9 rings as see above.
(3) Any game Michael Jordan played wearing the uniform #45 does not count.

LeBron James
(1) If LeBron James goes to the GSW, every championship he wins will result in a deduction
of 2 previously won championships.
(2) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were the GREATEST teams in the history of sports
(5/7/18 Local Hour).
(3) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were also the MOST INTERESTING teams in the history
of sports.
(4) If, after, the 2018 NBA Playoffs, (1) LeBron does not make it to the finals and the Celtics
do, & (2) The Houston Rockets do not make it to the finals and the Warriors do, & (3)
then LeBron goes to the Houston Rockets for the next season, LeBron is allowed to win
rings that count in Stu's personal record book, HOWEVER Harden & Chris Paul, if they
remain on the Rockets with LeBron on the team, are not allowed to have any of the rings
won with LeBron count in Stu's personal record book. To quote the big man Stu (with
Dan agreeing of course), "Do it on your own” (Dan agrees here).
(5) If LeBron wins an NBA Championship with the 2018 Lakers roster (as of 7/23/18) then
that wins counts for 6 rings. Thus, LeBron has 9 rings.
Misc. Basketball
(1) The Houston Rockets have 0 (none) NBA Championship victories. See a previous bullet,
because Michael Jordan actually is in possession of those rings since Jordan would have
won those championships if he stayed (1994 and 1995 did not count for Houston). BUT
WAIT - CONFLICTING HOT TAKES AHEAD Stugotz has also said Jordan didn't
get the Rockets' rings because he was actually suspended for gambling. NEEDS
CLARIFICATION PLEASE.
(2) Steve Kerr has no rings as a coach. In fact, he has never even coached a game.
(3) Mychal Thompson (Klay's dad) has no rings. (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(4) Clyde Drexler no rings (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(5) Giannis Antetokounmpo is pronounced Yani Adababoombo.
(6) As long as James Harden has his beard, he cannot win any championships. If the Rockets
win a ring, then the ring goes to the beard.
(7) LaMarcus Aldridge cost the Spurs game 2 of the 2017 Western Conference Semifinals,
even though they won.
(8) If the Sixers happen to win a championship, Sam Hinkie gets a ring.
(9) Chris Paul has NOT made Western Conference Final since he had to join the Rockets to
do so.
(10) Michael Jordan winning the NBA Finals in 1999 also means that Tim Duncan only has
four rings instead of 5 rings.
(11) The Warriors only have 1 ring (Durant still has none/negative)
(12) Boogie Cousins cannot win a NBA Championship and have it count if he does so with
the Warriors.
(13) Billy Donovan was the NBA Coach of the Year in 2017 (12/13/17 @ 28:10 Hour 1). The
Thunder Blowing the 3-1 lead to the Warriors that year had nothing to do with Donovan.
It was Durant's fault.
(14) The OKC Thunder actually did win the WCF against the Warriors in 2017 when up 3-1.
This does not apply to Durant though. The Thunder also beat whoever they would have
played in the Finals. Durant still no ring.
Chapter III | Baseball
Babe Ruth
(1) Babe Ruth is black.
(2) Babe Ruth never hit a baseball. Not once.
(3) Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin.
(4) Babe Ruth is NOT a top 20 Baseball player of all time. He's a pitcher.
• However, this is somewhat confusing/interesting Because: Stugotz has said "Babe
Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin." This
MUST mean Stugotz can only have 1 black player in his top 20 Baseball players of
all time --> Barry Larkin. The only way it can work logically is if in the list of
greatest players #1 through #20, only Barry Larkin is on the latter 1 through 20 list. I
would like some clarification on if he wishes to change this take/record.
(5) Babe Ruth is also not a top 20 pitcher of all time.

Misc. Baseball
(1) (Stated on 05/03/2018 @ 12:38:52 P.M) Stugotz has declared that in his personal record
book, Baseball no longer allows pitchers to hit (Excluding Bartolo Colon, and Shohei
Ohtani). You are either a pitcher or a hitter. Not both.
(2) If the Dodgers won the 2017 World Series Clayton Kershaw would not have had a ring.
(3) Wade Boggs DOES have a ring because he rode around on a horse with beer afterward.
(4) Clayton Kershaw did not win an MVP award because the award for pitchers was already
given, the CY Young award.
(5) Miami beat LSU in the 1996 College Baseball World Series.
(6) The 1986 NY Mets did not win the World Series against the Boston Red Socks (this
pains Stugotz).
(7) The Red Sox may have won the 1986 World Series, taking a ring away from the Mets.
Stugotz has to think about it though, he's not sure yet.
(8) Bryce Harper did not win the 2018 home run derby because he cheated.
(9) Kershaw's Earned Ring Average (ERA) is 0.00
Chapter IV | Hockey
(1) Ray Bourque doesn't have a ring.
(2) Alex Ovechkin may or may not have won the Stanley Cup against the Vegas Golden
Knights. "I mean he beat an expansion team . . . bunch of players nobody wanted" (We
get the sense that Dan agrees).

Chapter V | Tennis
(1) If anyone wins a major in Female Tennis without Serena Williams playing, it does not
count and they have 0 rings.
(2) If Maria Sharapova wins a grand slam in which Serena isn’t competing it doesn’t count.

Chapter VI | Golf
(1) If Jason Day wins the 2018 Masters, it counts as an American winning (as far as bets are
concerned).
(2) Vijay Singh did not play in the 2018 Masters.

Chapter VII | Soccer


(1) Lionel Messi is stripped of all his achievements for using HGH. He never played soccer.
He is still 5'1". "Fraud."

Chapter VIII | Miscellaneous


(1) Aqua?
(2) Rings plus-minus is the only way to measure greatness.
(3) The HBO Andre the Giant film was good, not great and Stugotz didn’t learn anything.
(4) Benoit Lecomte (guy they interviewed) cannot and will not swim from San Francisco to
Tokyo in the personal record book because he is most likely taking a dip for a few
minutes then coming back on the boat and enjoying some filet mignon by the pool. "Do it
without a yacht. And how about ya do it without the little magnetic field around you that
keeps sharks away. How bout that. Allows dolphins through though? Anyway.."
(5) Justify (the horse) only has a double crown. This is the first ever double crown.
(6) Tango and Cash is in the action movie hall of fame and Cliffhanger is the greatest 5-
minute intro of any movie of all time.