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TIME TRIP!

Episode Five
"Lost Amazonia"

By
Gabe Templin & Orlando Segarra

2016 justpressplayhouse@gmail.com
TIME TRIP!
Prologue
NARRATOR
The year is 1944. Deep in an underground top secret
government bunker, Doctor Meira Bitterman and her lab
assistant, Milo, are questioned over their involvement
in recent catastrophic events...
SOUND: ELECTRIC SHOCK

SOUND: SCREAMING
JOHNSON
...Is it safe?

SOUND: PANTING AND GASPING


JOHNSON
...Is it safe?
SOUND: MORE PANTING AND GROANS

SOUND: ELECTRIC SHOCK


SOUND: SCREAMS
BITTERMAN
(GERMAN ACCENT)
You pigs! If zis ridiculous display of torture is
supposed to intimidate us, you’ll be disappointed to
know, you are failing miserably.
MILO
Yeah. Man. Try your worst.
JOHNSON
The United States Government does not torture! These
are enhanced interrogation techniques. First, we
torture a complete stranger in front of you-

BITTERMAN
-I zhought you said you didn’t torture-
JOHNSON
Quiet!

SOUND: ELECTRIC SHOCK


SOUND: SCREAMS AND WAILING
2.

MILO
Geez, dude.
JOHNSON
As I was saying, first we tort- err- interrogate- a
complete stranger in front of you. Then we-
interrogate- someone you know. Then we interrogate
someone you love. Once these avenues have been
thoroughly exhausted, we go on to interrogate you.
Believe me, you don’t even wanna know how torturous
THAT will be.

SOUND: ELECTRIC SHOCK


BITTERMAN
Stop! Can’t you see he’s had enough??

JOHNSON
Then tell me, IS IT SAFE?
BITTERMAN
You haven’t even told us vhat "it" is.

SOUND: METAL DOOR CLANGS OPEN


SOUND: TWO PAIRS OF FOOTSTEPS ENTERING
SCULDER
Take a break, Johnson.

MULLY
Beat it.
JOHNSON
B-but. I haven’t even started phase two of the
interrogation, yet. I’m still at the tortur- uh-
interrogating a stranger part.
SOUND: STRANGER WHIMPERING
SCULDER
Change of plan.
MULLY
New tack.
SCULDER
We’re in charge now.
MULLY
We’re taking over.
3.

SCULDER
Now beat it!
MULLY
Scram!

JOHNSON
Yessirs.
SCULDER
And take Sparky here with you!

MULLY
Grab the Sizzler and go!
SOUND: CHAINS

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS
SOUND: METAL DOOR CLANGS SHUT
SOUND: METAL CHAIRS

SCULDER
Sorry about that.
MULLY
Apologies.

SCULDER
It wasn’t our intention to start you with the E.I.T.s
just yet.
MULLY
We got a little ahead of ourselves.

SCULDER
I’m agent Wolf Sculder, this is my partner, Brenda
Mully.
MULLY
Mully and Sculder. Project Nunya Recruitment.
SCULDER
You must be thirsty.
MULLY
You look parched.
SCULDER
Been sitting here for what, ten hours?
4.

MULLY
Awful long time.
SCULDER
Awful long time indeed.

MULLY
Awful long, long time indeed, indeed.
BITTERMAN
Vhat is zis? Vhat’s vith ze routine?

MULLY
Huh?
BITTERMAN
Are you two doing a bit?

SCULDER
Yeah, what ARE you doing, Mully? Starting to sound like
an echo chamber in here.
MULLY
I told you, Sculder, things are going to be different
this year. I’m tired of not taking point on these
assignments. No more walking two steps behind you all
the time. We’re equals.
SCULDER
Do we really need to have this discussion now? In front
of these people?
MULLY
I’ve been talking about this for weeks. You never
listen. You constantly interrupt me and nothing ever
gets re-
SCULDER
-Oh, I don’t know, Mully, I feel things have been
pretty equal in this partnership already, all things
considered.
MULLY
I get paid thirty cents for every dollar you make.
SCULDER
My skill-set is probably higher than yours.
MULLY
I’m a medical doctor. What did you go to school for?
5.

SCULDER
...Paranormal activities.
MULLY
I rest my case.

BITTERMAN
I’m sorry to interrupt zis extremely enlightening
debate on vorkplace inequality, but can ve please get
back to ze point??

SCULDER
Yes. As I was saying. You must be thirsty.
MULLY
In need of liquid refreshment.

SCULDER
Oh. Look what I have here.
MULLY
Check this out.

SCULDER
A soda.
MULLY
Pop.

SCULDER
Coca-Cola.
MULLY
...they didn’t have Pepsi?

BITTERMAN
VHAT DO YOU PEOPLE VANT??
SCULDER
Your laboratory.

MULLY
It’s completely destroyed.
SCULDER
Millions of dollars of government property up in smoke.

MULLY
Poof. Gone.
SCULDER
And the subject. Private...
6.

MULLY
-Timeskipper.
SCULDER
I got it, I got it. The subject. Private Timeskipper.
No known whereabouts.

MULLY
Remains not found.
SCULDER
Something fishy going on.
MULLY
Stinks like the Coney Island Cyclone on the Fourth of
July.

SCULDER
The United States Government put a lot of trust in you.
MULLY
We could have gone with Einstein.

SCULDER
We didn’t. We went with you.
MULLY
Don’t disappoint us.

SCULDER
Give us what we want.
BITTERMAN
Vhat do you vant to know?

MULLY
Timeskipper!
SCULDER
Where is he??

BITTERMAN
He’s... gone.
SCULDER
Gone?

MULLY
What do you mean he’s gone?
SCULDER
Gone where?
7.

MULLY
Where did he go?
BITTERMAN
He’s... gone, gone.

SOUND: UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE


SCULDER
Wait-

MULLY
-What, you mean...
SCULDER
-You mean... gone...

BOTH
For good?
SOUND: THEME MUSIC
NARRATOR
Trip may be gone but not for good. His matter flies in
a million pieces, skips through parallel dimensions on
the Quantum plane, and instantly reassembles on the
other side of a wormhole. But where is he? And more
importantly, when is he? Just Press Playhouse proudly
Presents the continuing adventures of Private Trip
Timeskipper in... TIME TRIP!
SOUND: THEME MUSIC CONTINUES
NARRATOR (cont’d)
Previously, on Time Trip...

SOUND: CLIPS FROM THE PREVIOUS SHOW


NARRATOR (cont’d)
This week’s episode: Lost Amazonia.

Scene 1: The Void


SOUND: FAINT ECHOES
SOUND: SWIRLING MEMORIES

SOUND: QUANTUM WAVES


SOUND: ECHOES OF BARKING DOGS
8.

TRIP
I wish it had been you... you... you...
MOTHER
Don’t let go... go... go...

PRIEST
Ashes to ashes... ashes... ashes...
MOTHER
Let go... go... go...

SOUND: TIRES SQUEAL


SOUND: CRASH
TRIP
Mother! -other... -other...
FATHER
Your mother’s gone because of you... you... you...
TRIP
No... no... no...
PRIEST
Dust to dust... dust... -ust...
TRIP
Nooo! -ooo.... -oooo...
SOUND: CHURCH BELLS RAISING IN VOLUME
SOUND: THUMP

SOUND: SILENCE
Scene 2: The Jungle
SOUND: RAINFOREST AND THUNDERSTORM SOUNDS FADE IN

SOUND: TRIP GROANING AS HE WAKES


TRIP
Ugh. Great. Rain. Mud. Geez... at least I landed
somewhere soft this time...

SOUND: QUICKSAND BURPING


TRIP (cont’d)
Aw, what now? Quicksand?? ...Oh, boy.
SOUND: QUICKSAND BURPING LOUDER
9.

TRIP (cont’d)
Oh geez... okay... how do I get out of this one?
SOUND: SINKING
TRIP (cont’d)
Whoa... easy... easy...
SOUND: SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE
TRIP (cont’d)
Huh? What the-
SOUND: GUNSHOTS
TRIP (cont’d)
Not this way, not this way...

SOUND: RUNNING AND SPLASHING


SOUND: FEMALE SCREAM
TRIP (cont’d)
Oh! Geez! Got mud all over my face! Get off me!
MINNIE
(MINNESOTA ACCENT)
Jumpin’ Jehosaphat! There’s a man in the sandpit!

TRIP
Stop kicking! me!
MINNIE
Holy Toledo! This is quicksand!

TRIP
I know it’s quicksand! Stop kicking!
SOUND: SINKING IN THE QUICKSAND
MINNIE
Quit wigglin’ around so much, we’re sinking!
TRIP
Me?? I was doing fine until you jumped in here!
MINNIE
Shut up and help me grab this root!
SOUND: GRUNTING AND CLAWING
10.

TRIP
It’s too far!
SOUND: QUICKSAND BURPING AND SHIFTING
MINNIE
Oh, for cryin’ out loud, give me a push!
TRIP
I... I can’t-

MINNIE
What’s the matter, you never touched a girl before?
TRIP
No, I’ve touched plenty of girls- I mean- I just- What
I meant was-

SOUND: QUICKSAND BURPING LOUDER


MINNIE
PUSH!

SOUND: TRIP GROANS AS HE PUSHES


MINNIE (cont’d)
A little further... little further...
SOUND: RUSTLING OF THE ROOT

MINNIE (cont’d)
A-ha! Yay! I got the root!
SOUND: MINNIE GRUNTS AS SHE PULLS HERSELF UP

TRIP
Ahhhh!
SOUND: GURGLING AS HE SINKS
MINNIE
Oh! Shoot! Mister! Hold on! Don’t sink, don’t sink!
SOUND: MINNIE GRABS HIS COLLAR AND PULLS
MINNIE (cont’d)
C’mon... don’t be so heavy, dangitt!

SOUND: TRIP GASPS AS HE RESURFACES


11.

MINNIE (cont’d)
Grab the root! Here!
SOUND: TRIP COUGHING AND GRASPING THE ROOT
SOUND: PULLING HIMSELF UP

SOUND: BOTH BREATHING HARD


SOUND: BOTH START LAUGHING
MINNIE (cont’d)
Whooo! That was too close.
TRIP
Yeah. No kidding. Thanks, ma’am.

MINNIE
Minnesota Smith. My friends call me Minnie.
TRIP
Thanks, Minnie. I’m... Wait, what’s my name?

MINNIE
What’s a matter? Did you hit your head on something?
TRIP
No. I just got here. I’ve never forgotten my name
before... it’s on the tip of my tongue.

SOUND: SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE


MINNIE
Oh shoot! I forgot about these bozos! C’mon, we gotta
get out of here!

TRIP
What’s going on?
MINNIE
I’m being chased.

TRIP
Chased? By who?
MINNIE
A bunch of doo-

TRIBESMAN
Gotcha thief!
12.

MINNIE
-fuses... Aha. Hey. Hiya fellas. Long time no see.
TRIBESMAN
What are you on about? I was just chasing you a minute
ago.

MINNIE
Du vu nu... Vuzzunnu?
TRIBESMAN
Please. If you must speak Chichihuacan, learn how to
pronounce it right.
SOUND: GRABBING AT HER GUN
MINNIE
Hey! That’s my gun! Let go of me! How DARE you!
TRIP
Whoa! Hey! What’s going on? Where are they taking us?
MINNIE
You don’t mind getting tied up for a bit, do you?
TRIP
Oh, great. This is just great. Haven’t even been here
ten minutes and I’m already someone’s prisoner.

MINNIE
Relax, I have a plan.
TRIP
You got a plan? Great! What is it?

MINNIE
Did I say I had a plan? I meant I’ll think of
something...
SOUND: TRANSITION MUSIC

Scene 3: The Chichihuaca Tribe


SOUND: RAIN HAS STOPPED
SOUND: VILLAGE SOUNDS

SOUND: DRUMS
TRIBESMAN
You dirty thieves will pay for what you’ve stolen!
13.

MINNIE
Pssst! Hey, mister! What time is it??
TRIP
Huh?

MINNIE
You got a watch, dontcha? There, on your wrist.
TRIP
Do I? Oh... it’s uh...

SOUND: TAPPING ON WATCH


TRIP (cont’d)
...it’s... broken.

TRIBESMAN
Move it along, bandits, we haven’t got all day!
MINNIE
Alright, alright. Don’t get your loincloths all tied up
in a bunch.

TRIBESMAN
Hey! That’s racist!
TRIP
I have a bad feeling about this.

MINNIE
Nothing to worry about, Sandy. I got it all under
control.
TRIP
...Sandy??
MINNIE
Yeah. I can’t just call you mister all day. Until you
figure out who you are I’m calling you Sandy, on
account of I found you in the quicksand.

TRIP
Sandy. Really?
MINNIE
Better’n callin’ you Quickie.

TRIP
True, but still, Sandy-
14.

MINNIE
-Okay. Howsa ’bout we pay a little less attention to
your name and a little more attention to all the sharp
pointy sticks looking our way?

TRIBESMAN
Less talking, more walking, thief!
MINNIE
We’re moving! We’re moving! Don’t get pushy!

TRIP
You ever dealt with these Chichihuacas before?
MINNIE
Yeah. A few years back, my husband and I came here as
missionaries. But we had to leave after a small
misunderstanding.
TRIP
What misunderstanding?
MINNIE
I saw a beautiful vase with the most intricate blue
pattern painted on its surface. I thought my flowers
would look pretty in it. So, I dumped out the dirt,
washed it, filled it with water and arranged the
flowers on my husband’s table for the whole tribe to
see.

TRIP
What happened?
MINNIE
Turns out, I dumped the ashes of their beloved Shaman.
TRIP
Oh crap. We’re screwed.
MINNIE
Just let me do the talking, Sandy.
TRIBESMAN
Yes. Keep talking. Keep digging yourself that hole.
MINNIE
Buu woo duu nunta Vuzzunu?
TRIBESMAN
Vuzzunu notcha kampaneiro!
15.

TRIP
What’s going on? What are they saying?
MINNIE
They’re taking us to the chief. Old friend of mine.

SOUND: DRUMS GETTING LOUDER


TRIBESMAN
Vira walla cocha!
SOUND: TRIBE CHEERS IN UNISON

TRIP
Quite the reception for an old friend.
MINNIE
Have a little backbone, Sandy. Nothing to panic about.
TRIBESMAN
Calla walla! Rikonu tanna!
SOUND: TRIBE CHEERS

TRIP
What’s with the giant knife??
MINNIE
That’s... something to panic about.

TRIP
I hope you know what you’re doing.
TRIBE
Vuzzunu! Vuzzunu!

SOUND: A FINAL FLOURISH OF DRUMS AND CHANTING THAT ABRUPTLY


STOPS
TRIBESMAN
Vuzzunu! Vira walla cocha!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING


VUZZUNU
(A LA WALLACE SHAWN)
Inconcebible!

TRIP
Well, he seems happy to see us.
16.

VUZZUNU
Minnesota Smith? It has been too long since you’ve last
graced our humble camp with your beauty.
MINNIE
Oh, well, ya know... that’s me, always gracin’ people.
VUZZUNU
And you are...?
TRIP
Uh... um... S-s-sandy...
VUZZUNU
Sandy? Like the dirt?
MINNIE
How’s the tribe, Vuzzunu?
VUZZUNU
Never better. How’s your husband?
MINNIE
Dead.
VUZZUNU
Yes, I heard. Shame. He was a decent Bridge player.
Will you stay for dinner?

MINNIE
That’s very kind of you. I thought perhaps our meeting
would be more awkward, what with the dumping of your
beloved shaman’s ashes and all.

VUZZUNU
Water under the rope bridge! We’re cooking up quite the
delicacy tonight.
MINNIE
Oh, really? Whatcha havin’?

VUZZUNU
Boiled Bandits!
SOUND: FLOURISH OF DRUMS
SOUND: STRUGGLING AND YELLING

TRIP
Let go of me! Minnie! What are they doing?
17.

MINNIE
Hey! What’s the big idea?
VUZZUNU
Don’t play coy with me. I know you stole La Luz from
our sacred hut!
MINNIE
No Way!
VUZZUNU
Chapito saw you!
TRIBESMAN
It’s true. I saw you.
MINNIE
It could have been anybody!
VUZZUNU
Why did you run away from my royal forest guards?

MINNIE
Young single woman walking alone in the jungle, who
wouldn’t?
VUZZUNU
Enough games! Chapito, search the royal prisoners!

SOUND: SEARCHING THROUGH CLOTHES


SOUND: TRIP LAUGHING
TRIP
Haha! Hey! hahaha! Stop! That tickles!

TRIBESMAN
Found this on the boy, Chief.
SOUND: METAL AGAINST DIRT

VUZZUNU
Ooh! What’s that?? Some sort of gun? Smuggling strange
weapons into my camp, I see. I’ll take that as a sign
of disrespect!

TRIP
Whoa... I have no idea what that is. How did I- Why
can’t I remember anything?
MINNIE
Hey! Don’t you dare touch me there! That’s mine! Give
it back!
18.

TRIBESMAN
Look what we have here. La Luz!
SOUND: TRIBE GASPS

VUZZUNU
A-ha! So you DID steal the sacred stone from our
village!
MINNIE
It’s an emerald. It’s not like it’s got magical powers
or anything. Just... you know... great monetary value.
VUZZUNU
Silence! You and your companion are hereby sentenced to
the royal banquet, where you shall serve as the
centerpiece of the finest three-course dinner south of
the Orinoco.
SOUND: TRIBE CHEERS
VUZZUNU (cont’d)
Prepare for the ceremony! Tu la ru la ya!

TRIBE
Tu la ru la... Tu la ru la... Tu la ru la...
MINNIE
Oh, gosh...

TRIP
Great. This is just great.
VUZZUNU
Season the royal prisoners!

SOUND: TRIP SNEEZES


TRIP
Hey! Keep that pepper away from me!

TRIBE
...Tu la ru la... Tu la ru la... Tu la ru la...
MINNIE
Vuzzunu! You can’t do this to us! I’m an American!

SOUND: VUZZUNU SNICKERING


VUZZUNU
Nice knowing you, Minnesota Smith. Cook well. Hahahaha!
SOUND: TRANSITION MUSIC
19.

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Scene 4: The Chichihuaca Tribe
NARRATOR
Minnesota Smith and Trip Timeskipper find themselves
prisoners of the mighty Chichihuacan Tribe. Cheif
Vuzzunu has cordially invited them to be dessert...
TRIBE
Tu la ru la... tu la ru la... tu la ru la...

TRIP
Great. Just great. I’ll be dead soon and I don’t even
remember my own name.
MINNIE
You can’t eat us! It ain’t right!

VUZZUNU
I think I’ll prepare you with a nice mango-habanero
salsa to really bring out the sweet succulent aroma of
your tender, tender meat.

MINNIE
You piece of poo! I hope you choke!
VUZZUNU
Light the royal cooking fire!

SOUND: TORCHES FLAPPING


TRIP
No, don’t light the fire. No fire. No fire.
SOUND: TRIP TRIES TO BLOW OUT THE TORCHES
20.

MINNIE
Vuzunnu! I’ll get you for this!
VUZZUNU
Your revenge will have to be indigestion. Proceed! Tu
la ru la ya!
TRIBE
...Tu la ru la... tu la ru la... tu la ru la...
SOUND: TRIBE LIGHTS THE ROYAL FIRE

SOUND: BURNING WOOD


SOUND: VUZZUNNU LAUGHING
TRIP
Minnie! We’re about to get roasted here!
MINNIE
I’m working on it, I’m working on it.
TRIP
Well, they’re YOUR friends. Talk some sense into them!
MINNIE
Du wacka nuda vina walla?
TRIBESMAN
Ahahaha! Vina Walla? Skru Du! Hahaha!
TRIP
What he say?
MINNIE
He said we ain’t friends.
TRIP
Oh, really? What gave that away?
MINNIE
Keep your britches on, Sandy. I’ll think of something.
TRIBE
...Tu la ru la... tu la ru la... tu la ru la...
SOUND: VUZUNNU RELISHES HIS LAUGHTER

VUZZUNU
Soon you both will be delicious!
SOUND: TRIP TRIES TO BLOW OUT THE FLAMES
21.

TRIP
It’s getting hot!
SOUND: FLAMES PICK UP
TRIBE
...Tu la ru la... tu la ru la... tu la ru la...
MINNIE
Geez, Minnesota, what have you gotten yourself into
this time?

SOUND: AIRPLANE FLYING FROM ABOVE


TRIBESMAN
The plane! The plane!

SOUND: TRIBE SCREAMS AND SCATTERS


VUZZUNU
No! No! Stop running, you fools! It’s just a damn river
plane!

MINNIE
We’re saved! Jamie-George! He’s come to rescue us!
TRIP
Just in the nick of time too.

MINNIE
Oh, shoot! I’ve got a knife in my boot! Hold on, I’ll
get us out in a jiff.
SOUND: GRUNTING AS SHE REACHES FOR HER BOOT

SOUND: TRIBE RUNNING AMOK


VUZZUNU
Chapito! Hand me Sandy’s gun!
TRIBESMAN
Careful, Chief. We don’t know how this thing works.
SOUND: ZAPPER POWERING UP
VUZZUNU
Odd... I don’t see any bullet chambers...

SOUND: CUTTING ROPE


22.

MINNIE
We’re free! Watch the flames!

TRIP
Let’s get outta here!
MINNIE
No, wait. I gotta get that emerald.

VUZZUNU
Where do the bullets even shoot out of this thing...?
SOUND: ZAP!
VUZZUNU (cont’d)
Yiaaaaooooowwww!!!!! My ear!
SOUND: BOOT KICK
SOUND: VUZZUNU GRUNTS

SOUND: SEARCHING THROUGH HIS POCKETS


MINNIE
Sorry, pal. I’ll take a raincheck on dinner. Gotta fly.
SOUND: RUNNING OFF

VUZZUNU
After them! They’re getting away!
MINNIE
C’mon, Sandy! Here, I got your gun!

SOUND: TOSSING HIM ZAPGUN


TRIP
Where are we going??

MINNIE
The river! Hurry!
SOUND: TRIBE RUNNING AND YELLING BEHIND THEM
MINNIE (cont’d)
Well, don’t just look pretty, shoot something!
TRIP
How do I even work this thing?
MINNIE
Point and click.
SOUND: ZAP!
23.

TRIP
Whoa! What a kick!
SOUND: TRIBESMEN SCREAMING AND RUNNING
HARRY
(FLASHBACK)
Zapguns. Set to toast. That means they’re serious.
TRIP
...zapgun. Hey! I remember something!

MINNIE
That’s great. Keep shooting!
SOUND: ZAP! ZAP!

SOUND: PLANE LANDING ON WATER


MINNIE (cont’d)
There’s Jamie-George!
JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ
(THICK HISPANIC ACCENT)
Hola, Minnie! How lucky I have found you!
MINNIE
Keep the engines running, Jamie-George!

TRIP
They’re coming in fast!
SOUND: ZAP!
SOUND: SPLASHING INTO THE WATER

SOUND: ARROWS AND SHOUTING TRIBE


JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ
Whoa! That’s big trouble. Hurry! Vamos!

SOUND: CLIMBING INTO THE PLANE


JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ (cont’d)
Who the hell is this guy?
TRIP
Sandy. Apparently.
JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ
Apparently? What a strange last name.
24.

MINNIE
No time to waste in pleasantries. Get us out of here,
Jamie-George!
JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ
My name is Jaime Jorge Jimenez!
MINNIE
Yeah, howsa ’bout you pay a little less attention to
your name, a little more attention to all those arrows
comin’ our way?

JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ


Ave maria purisima sin pecado concevido...
MINNIE
Let’s go!

JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ


Ya voy! Ya voy!
SOUND: PLANE TAKES OFF

SOUND: ARROWS FLYING BY


SOUND: TRANSITION MUSIC
Scene 5: The River Plane

SOUND: HUM OF PLANE ENGINE


MINNIE
Boy am I glad you showed up when you did. Always have a
knack for timing, Jamie-George.

JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ


With San Cristobal on our side, our safety is assured!
MINNIE
Watch out for that tree!

JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ


Whoa!
SOUND: PLANE PULLING UP
JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ (cont’d)
Heh heh. Sorry. I’ll keep us above the canopy.
MINNIE
Good plan.
25.

JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ


So what’s with the stray? You picking up strange men in
the jungle now?
MINNIE
Found him in the sandpit. Almost made me lose the loot.
TRIP
Yeah. Thanks. I owe you one.
MINNIE
One? You’re running up a tab, buddy.
JAIME JORGE JIMENEZ
Where are you headed, amigo?
TRIP
Same place you’re headed I guess... Which is, where,
exactly?
MINNIE
Gonna see my partner, Rick, at the Blue Macaw.

TRIP
Where’s that?
MINNIE
On the banks of the Orinoco river, the one outpost in
this planet furthest from the sun, Puerto Nuera. Best
settle in. It’s a bit of a trip.
TRIP
...What did you say?
MINNIE
I said we’re going to Puerto Nuera.
TRIP
No after that... trip. I think that’s it. That’s my
name. I remember.

MINNIE
That’s your name? Trip?
TRIP
Yeah. Trip... Timeskipper. Yeah! That’s it! From
Massachusetts.
MINNIE
Timeskipper. What is that, Dutch?
26.

TRIP
I still can’t remember how I got here, though...
everything’s fogged up... like a childhood memory.
MINNIE
Don’t worry, Trip. It’ll come soon enough. Get some
rest. We’ll be at Rick’s before you know it...
SOUND: PLANE HUM INCREASES IN VOLUME
SOUND: TRANSITION MUSIC FADES TO MUSIC IN BLUE MACAW

Scene 6: The Blue Macaw


SOUND: ROWDY BAR CROWD AND DISHES CRASHING
DRUNK GUY
Mas rum...
RICK
Hold on. You sure you can handle another drink, amigo?
DRUNK GUY
Mas. Rum.
RICK
You... got mas money?
SOUND: DRUNK GUY BELCHES

SOUND: COINS ON BAR


RICK (cont’d)
Mas rum coming right up.

ROSALITA
Rick! Vamos, lindo, buy me a drink, will ya? I’ll give
you a free kiss.
RICK
Settle down now, Rosalita. What good is a kiss to me in
the middle of the jungle?
ROSALITA
What good is a handful of loose change?
RICK
Not much on its own, but put a bunch together, and you
got yourself a retirement.
ROSALITA
What could be worth more than a lady’s kiss?
27.

RICK
Tell you what. You keep your kiss, and I’ll keep the
change.
SOUND: PATRONS LAUGHING

SOUND: DOOR SWINGS OPEN


SOUND: FOOTSTEPS
MINNIE
Here we are, Trip! The Blue Macaw. Watch your step, and
look alive.
TRIP
These people seem rougher than the Chichihuacas.

MINNIE
Oh, it’s disgusting. But it’s home.
SOUND: APPROACHING BAR
MINNIE (cont’d)
Hiya, Rick! Ya busy?
RICK
For you? Never.
MINNIE
Get me a whiskey, will ya?
RICK
Neat?
MINNIE
You got it.
RICK
Sure thing, Minnesota.
SOUND: CLINKING OF GLASS

MINNIE
Pour one for my stowaway friend too. Trip, this is
Rick. Rick, Trip.
SOUND: POURING SHOT

TRIP
Pleased to meet you.
28.

RICK
You in the army?
TRIP
I, uh, don’t understand the question...?

RICK
You’re wearing a uniform.
TRIP
Oh. Yeah. I guess I must be.

RICK
...you’re not a deserter, are you?
SOUND: MINNIE KNOCKS BACK HER SHOT
MINNIE
Ah. Pour me another.
SOUND: POURING SHOT
RICK
You better watch your valuables around this one, Trip.
She’ll clean you out if you ain’t paying attention.
MINNIE
You’re one to talk, Rick. You taught me everything I
know.

RICK
I only taught you the gypsy switch. Everything else you
learned on your own.
MINNIE
You’re just jealous I’m better at stealing than you
are.
RICK
I’m not as smooth as I was when I was your age. You
shoulda seen me back then. They called me Ricky
Rip-off.
MINNIE
Yeah, yeah. Not to worry, old man. I’m looking out for
the both of us.

SOUND: MINNIE KNOCKS BACK SHOT


MINNIE (cont’d)
Ah. Another whiskey, por favor.
SOUND: POURING
29.

RICK
Seems to me your liver could use a little looking after
as well.
MINNIE
Ha! Won’t that be the day? Just look at this joint.
Place is going to the dogs.
RICK
You don’t gotta keep coming back.

MINNIE
Dogs I can handle. Besides, where else can I make a few
bucks slinging junk to the poor schnookered darlings of
Puerta Nuera?
ROSALITA
Oooh! Who is the little guerito? Hiya, handsome. My
name’s Rosalita. Buy me a drink?
RICK
Why, Rosalita. If I didn’t know any better I’d figure
you were trying to make me jealous.

ROSALITA
Oh, hush, you had your chance and you blew it. Time for
new blood.
SOUND: LAUGHTER AND CARRYING ON

SOUND: MINNIE KNOCKS DOWN SHOT


MINNIE
Ah. So, ain’t you gonna ask me?

SOUND: POURING SHOT


RICK
Yeah, I’m going to ask you.
MINNIE
So then ask me.
RICK
...did you get it?
MINNIE
Ya gosh darn tootin’ I got it.
SOUND: RICK EXHALES GRATEFULLY
30.

MINNIE (cont’d)
La Luz is ours. Easy peasy.
TRIP
You think THAT was easy?

RICK
The money we make off this score should keep us both
comfortable for a very long time.
MINNIE
You kidding? With what you charge for drinks around
here, I ain’t never gettin’ out of this stinkhole.
RICK
Let’s keep this under wraps for now. I got a tip Oscuro
is in town. Things could get ugly if he stops by.

MINNIE
If he starts any trouble, he’ll have my pistol to
reckon with.
TRIP
You guys keep things pretty exciting around here, huh?
MINNIE
Welcome to the antiquities business, Trip.
NARRATOR
What other surprises lie in store for Trip Timeskipper?
Will his memory ever be fully restored? And who is the
mysterious Oscuro? Find out next time!
Epilogue

SOUND: THEME MUSIC


NARRATOR
We hope you have enjoyed part one of Lost Amazonia.
We’ll see you next time for... Puerto Nuera Blues.
You’ve been listening to... TIME TRIP, the Continuing
Adventures of Private Trip Timeskipper! From all of us
here at Just Press Playhouse, so long, and happy
adventures!
To Be Continued

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