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issue 12, michaelmas 2010

DURHAM’S 4TH MOST POPULAR SATIRICAL MAGAZINE, SPECIAL BUMPER EDITION!


2 News In Brief MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010

WELCOME TO MOSTLY HARMLESS


Hi there. No, don’t go.

Mostly Harmless is Durham’s best (and only) satirical magazine. We aim to make you laugh on every
page with made up news, cartoons, spoof campaigns and lots more. If you find anything at all informative
in these pages we’ve failed at our jobs, but we’re the perfect companion to a boring lecture.

This is the online version of issue 12. The difference is the print version contains 24 pages including
pages from the last issue which wasn’t printed, available from: http://www.mostly-harmless.org.uk

We have a Facebook group called ‘Mostly Harmless 2010’ join for news and updates
IN THIS ISSUE... in my local Greggs. It’s not like I Frisbee team manager, Dr Josef
do archaeology so if I wanted even Anderson. Early responses to the
MINERS SAVED, THATCHER a slim hope of getting laid I had to bid seem positive, although the IOC
FALLS ILL fabricate everything”. have stated that they urgently require
a clarification on who, exactly, the
AUTHOR TERRY PRATCHETT fuck are Hatfield College?
ANNOUNCES FINAL NOVEL,
ENTITLED ‘THE COLOUR OF FIRE IN SWEET FACTORY
MAGIC’
New safety precautions are rumoured
to be brought in after a large fire in
BILL BRYSON PUBLISHES
POLEMIC AGAINST THE UNI- a Teeside sweet factory. The cost of
VERSITY ENTITLED “NOTES ON the accident is speculated to be in
THE SMALL MINDED” the hundreds and thousands.

INDISCRIMINATE FLYERING DYING AUTHOR REVISES


LEADS TO 800% INCREASE IN
SENIOR CITIZEN CLUB AT- “100 THINGS TO DO
TENDANCE “I was knee deep in clunge BEFORE YOU DIE”
all fucking summer” Following a diagnosis of terminal
FRESHERS TALKING SHIT pancreatic cancer, lifelong drinker
STUDENT JOURNALISM
ABOUT DRUNKEN HOLIDAY Freddy Malins is to revise his best
“NOT SEXY” selling book “100 things to do before
ANTICS ON THE RISE A recent poll has found that you die” in time for the upcoming
An increasing phenomenon in
British universities is the new intake
writing for or editing a student 4th edition. “25 things to do before
publication is not an effective you die” will be on shelves this
making up implausible summer
aid for picking up women, and Autumn.
holiday antics. This year sees an
overall rise of 14% in general is in fact an inappropriate line of
drunken bullshit, though with a conversation at a wake.
much larger increase in fictitious
sexual acts. These rises have been ULTIMATE FRISBEE
ascribed to increased pressure to
not be boring public school fucks.
OLYMPIC BID
The IOC has officially recognised
One offender, who did not wish
Durham’s bid to have Ultimate
to be named, told MH: “I’m new
Frisbee represented as an official
scared and uncool. I didn’t go on a
Olympic Sport. The bid was
Gap Year or anything and the only
launched by Hatfield’s Ultimate Item 73 in the 1st edition
work experience I could find was
MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010 3 News In Brief
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK HITS for the Islamabads”. The Islamic his 51st birthday and so could no
Association claim they’ve been longer be described as a tragic loss.
BRITAIN disallowed from helping run the Conversely, he still had many plans
A nationwide zombie outbreak
Islam session being told “we’ve got including an extended hiking tour of
has been unleashed following the
this covered thanks what do you the midlands and so doesn’t qualify
mutation of a prototype gingervitis
think this is, a charity?”. as having had a good innings.
vaccination. The virus currently
Language experts are scrambling
only affects heavily bandaged burns
FASHION CHANGING to construct new terminology at
victims and OAPs above age of
Fashion was set to change last night, this reasonably-difficult time, after
75. The Home Secretary has urged
ahead of the start of a new season. which the funeral will be held.
citizens to kill anyone over 70 as a
precaution. He has also suggested Details of the new fashion will be
communities work together to announced later this afternoon, with THAT GUY ARRESTED
gas local nursing homes with blues and greys expected to play That Guy was arrested last night
government issues canisters. On the a prominent role. This is the third following an East Croydon house
question of ethnics and the slaughter time fashion has changed this year, party. We tracked down and asked
of millions of OAPs he responded: causing some shoppers to be caught one party-goer if he remembered
“Now look, when it comes to the out. “I was wearing vertical stripes That Guy from last night. “Ohhh
oncoming zombie apocalypse I for practically the whole of March”, yeah. That Guy who threw up on
think we’re all better off safe than one woman told MH. “Horizontal Sophie’s couch and then tried to
sorry. Besides, the pension system stripes was fashion for March. I make out with Jon’s sister”. Mr.
and housing market are a complete was mortified when somebody told Guy is well known to the police
mess”. me.” MH advises the would-be via anecdotal stories of late night
fashionable to stay alert, and look drunken antics, but this is the first
for tell-tell signs of change such as time he’s been caught in the act.
Kate Moss getting interviews again,
the extinction of entire species
and increased smugness outside
theatres, unfurnished bars and sushi
restaurants.

Early symptons of the virus


DICCU ANNOUNCES WORLD That Guy at a recent party
RELIGION TASTER SESSIONS ‘FACTS ABOUT FEMINISM’
The ‘CU Next Tuesday’ campaign WEBSITE LAUNCHED
will run every Tuesday for 5 weeks, The British Institute of Teaching
and will allow students to sample and Communicating the Historical
a different world religion in each Equality of Sexes have released the
session. DICCU have pitched the Ironic badges may be ‘in’ website factsaboutfeminism.com in
sessions as a way to make religions order to combat the misconceptions
accessible in easy to digest forms MAN DIES IN TRAGIC LOSS/ surrounding feminism and to chart
allowing worshippers to make an its history from the suffragettes to
GOOD INNINGS GREY AREA present day. The website is one of
informed decision. A spokesman Walter Armstrong, of Surrey, was
told us “We’re so excited. We’ve many campaigns spearheaded by
found dead at his apartment late the institute to raise awareness and
got those funny little hats for on Tuesday. Family and friends
the Jews and I’ll personally be empower women. More information
are unsure of how to categorise his can be found at: http://www.
suiting up as Mohammed to give death, as it occurred just days after
sample readings from the Kerrang factsaboutfeminism.com
4 Nightline MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010
NIGHTLINE UNVEILS DAYCARE
BY MATTHEW BERNINGER

In a bid to provide more proac- whinging pussy and he should and I needed to stop being such a
tive support for students, Night- go and buy me a dress. When I fucking slag and stay in to study
line has announced a new drop-in started crying he shook me be- the bullshit they were teaching
counselling service called Day- fore shouting fuck off, just fuck me. The first guy returned but the
care. Launched last week, Day- right off”. second one took the coffee out of
care is a more rough and ready Jess, a 3rd year Sociology stu- his hand and poured it down the
approach to counselling and is dent, told a similar story: “I went sink while telling me it was my
being marketed under the stra- in and was asked to tell him about prospects in life that were going
pline “No, you listen. Bitch”. the stress of trying to balance down the drain. He then led me
However, some of the tactics my workload and social life, and out and said he hoped I was feel-
employed by Daycare staff have about how my low self esteem led ing better before asking for my
been called into question amidst to a string of one night stands. He number”.
accusations of abuse. One stu- nodded and was really assuring. Daycare management have
dent, who does not wish to be Then he asked if I wanted some responded to this early criticism
named, was brought to tears in coffee, I said yes and he left. and in a statement clarified that
his session: “He told me to sit While he was gone an different they have welfare firmly at heart
down and tell him how I was guy came in, I asked who he was and were just trying more radical
feeling. Afterwards he got up and and he told me to shut my whore approaches to help students bet-
slammed the desk and told me to mouth. He said I would be lucky ter cope with all their little pansy
sort my life out. He said I was a to get a job at all with my degree issues.
MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010 5 Gap Years
MOSTLY HARMLESS’S GUIDE TO GAP YEARS
WE FILL IN ALL THE GAPS SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Gap Years are an essential part of Popular Gap year options


the student experience and so we’ve
teamed up with Youth In Asia, a Constructing an orphanage:
leading volunteering charity to let Kenya
real gap year students share their
experiences with you.
Conservation work:
Madagascar

Jez English language teaching:


“I really didn’t find my inherent Stockton.
racism held me back at all. In
fact, I feel it probably saved me
money while travelling through
the most deprived areas. What
they don’t realise when they beg
is that I may be rich to them, but
Lara in England it really isn’t that
After so many months surround- much. Someone has to pay for
ed by such poverty, it was really the holes to be ripped in my jeans
quite sickening to come back to - God knows Jack W doesn’t do Cordelia
the western world with its su- it himself. "After the ordeal of A levels, I
permarket aisles full of a billion What I would say about a gap decided I needed to find myself.
types of frozen food. Kerry Ka- year is it shows the endless po- I wasn’t exactly sure, but I had
tona’s face was everywhere. The tential for experience. I’ve had a a feeling I might be somewhere
first thing I did when I got back wank in a Ugandan orphanage, in South East Asia. The food was
was fill in Countries I’ve Been and what I guess I’m trying to alright, but I think I prefer The
To on Facebook. I feel really sor- say is when you put your mind Good Earth in Esher. I know their
ry for anyone who didn’t take a to it anything’s possible. I also wine list better, and the ice cream
gap year. Their maps just look so learned how easy it is to get laid always comes in those little plas-
empty. in Africa.” tic toy things. It's yummy”
For those of considering a gap year, contrary to what you believe those entire experiences will only result into one
interesting anecdote. Max. You won’t magically become interesting, you won’t even be well travelled: you’ll just
have racked up air miles. With the amount a gap year is going to cost you, if you just want to be talked about you
may as well hire an escort. Not only will it be cheaper, but people will be wondering what they're missing, and
what she sees in you. You’ll be instantly more mysterious and you won’t even have to learn an ancient aboriginal
saying, or go sky diving.

We concede travel broadens the mind and all that, but we still think you’ll learn a lot more about yourself by sleep-
ing rough on the streets on Newcastle for five nights than scuba diving. You’ll also have a genuinely interesting
party anecdote.

When it’s all been said and done, there’s nothing inherently wrong with taking a gap year. However, it’s pretentious
to assume you did more good than anyone else just because you were in a less fashionable timezone. The well you
built was a gimmick, the African children you held are still starving, and for the love of God it didn’t broaden your
cultural horizons enough to change your lifestyle - you’ll be back to flushing after each and every shit in no time.
6 Freshers' Spread MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010
THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION A FRESHER CAN MAKE
NICK DENT GIVES THE FINGER TO CUNTS

Hello Freshers! Welcome to uni- lels that of the ‘druggie’ with drugs not doing any work. There will be
versity, that point in your life when replaced by gadgets. quite a few to start with, and then
you decide what kind of cunt you’d I suppose this is the first time by month three the ones who were
like to be for the rest of your life. many of you have lived away telling the truth will have dropped
I urge you to choose wisely as from home, and most of you will out, by month six you know for
there’s a vast array of cunt inspira- not have chosen your housemates. a fact these cunts are lying...to
tion, why do you think you have This will likely put each and every be cool. They spend £20,000 on
college parents? You think your one of you reading this into contact their university education to spend
year invented being a cunt? No. with a very popular type of cunt. three years pretending they don’t
There is a long tradition of univer- The ‘my mum must have been a care. Typically, they will get better
sities churning out cunt. Durham saint’ cunt. Over the year they will marks than you.
is proud of its Darwinian cunt ap- become more and more obvious.
proach resulting in more diverse The sort of person who makes up
and expansive types of cunt than loopholes for washing-up rules en-
any other institution. forced by the household ‘bossy’
But don’t jump in head first, I cunt. These two can become tedi-
realise you’re barely past Fresh- ous as they will probably spend
ers’ Week. But you’ve probably a large proportion about bitching
already identified the first kind about the other one as soon as they
of cunt. The twat cunts that think leave earshot. Mine were called
respectability is directly linked to Tim and Wallace.
how fucked you get, and how of- Next to reveal himself will be
ten. These twunts will stick out the chauvinist cunt. The sort of
like a sore thumb, and are usually guy who when alone with you will
the ones telling you how much say the most reprehensible things Gap Year cunt
they drank while they ‘did’ Aus- about the girl you are madly in Finally, there is the most cun-
tralia. love with, then go out and fuck her tish of the cunts - the socially in-
on and off all year. He will most trospective cunt. These cunts like
“The twat cunts that likely be bigger/harder than you, to think because they don’t like
think respectability and definitely be better looking, most people they must be some-
is directly linked to and inevitably will cheat on her. how special. They mistake a dis-
There is a female version of this, like for clubbing or heavy drinking
how fucked you get, who confuses boyfriend with so- for sophistication. They firmly be-
and how often” cial experiment, and will see how lieve being able to namedrop poli-
far guys can be pushed with the ticians is synonymous with being
Of course, there is a subsection promise of sex. Such experiments an economic genius with a clear
of this type of cunt - the ‘drug- include: emotional blackmail, pre- vision of how to run the country
gie’. This sort of cunt likes to go vention of a social life, making the optimally. These cunts think that
to parties and tell you what drugs amount of kisses on the end of txt by pointing out the drinking cunts,
they have taken. They take pride in a serious topic of discussion. They messy cunts, tidy cunts, druggie
being able to do this with little or are universally tied in with the sort cunts, and lad cunts they are some-
no prompting, although you won’t of stupid cunts who confuse fit for how qualified to write an article
usually notice them until your first suitable and regular sex for emo- condemning them. For these kind
house party. This type of cunt is tional attachment. of pissy cunts there is only one re-
not to be confused with the iPhone One of the hardest to spot are course: becoming a Mostly Harm-
cunt whose party behaviour paral- the cunts who tell you they are less writer.
MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010 7 Freshers' Spread
DURHAM UNIVERSITY FRESHER SURVIVAL GUIDE
MH GIVE YOU THE ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR DURHAM LIFE

University is a big and scary Surrey anymore. You must phone After a long Summer of voting
place, unless you’re at Durham this number at least once a week. we can reveal the top things
which is both tiny and the saf- every Fresher should do, as
est city in the country. That said, • Never piss off the cleaning staff, voted:
here are some essential tips for they will destroy you
surviving Durham life: 1) Jodie Smith
• Don’t mistake your classmates
• This is not Oxbridge letting you be first-year rep for 2) Get thrown out of Klute
having any friends.
• Now look, let’s get this all 3) Complete a fancy dress walk
straightened out. Really, it’s not. • All the boat rides in the world of shame
can’t hide forever that Durham is
• Living on the Bailey? Yes, they small, and as boring as your girl/ 4) Convince someone you study
ring every day. No, you don’t get boyfriend expects. Poetry and Climate Change
used to it. Yes, even Sundays.
• She/he will leave you 5) Ruffle Sam Roseveare’s hair
• As inconceivable as it seems
now, the guys you got drunk with • The man that looks like Mario 6) Attend a club in pyjamas
at the rugby initiation might not is very, very aware of this fact
end up being ushers at your wed- and should be approached with 7) Stay up until after your alarm
ding caution. goes off

• Having sex with her? Then • DICCU will at some point jump 8) Turn up to a lecture still
you can’t live with in your sec- you, it’s best to nod and take drunk
ond year. Especially if you think whatever leaflet they have. Don’t
she’s the one. fight back, it’s not worth it. 9) Fall asleep while eating
cheesy chips
• The panic the media are creat- • Formative is university lingo
ing about the state of university for feel free not to bother doing 10) Strawpedo a bottle in under
funding and the failing gradu- this. Summative is university lin- 3 seconds
ate jobs market is alarmist and go for do this or you are fucked.
irresponsible. It is also entirely Think we’ve missed something?
based on fact. • Just because you can pull in What you’ll soon realise about
Klute doesn’t mean you should, Durham is nobody cares what
• Pizza? 01913864004. You can’t if you’re desperate we’ve all you think, not deep down.
have Domino’s, you’re not in been there, just tell no-one.
There’s nothing worse in Durham than being mistaken for working class, so here are our 5 tips to not appear
poor:

1) Carry an empty Charles Trywhitt branded suit cover around with you at all times
2) Sew JW onto all of your clothing. Yes, even that.
3) Sing 'Castle Ranger' while walking down the Bailey
4) Hold loud imaginary phone conversations with daddy where you ask for a "couple thou"
5) Save up for a month to buy an expensive bottle for a party, but watch it like a hawk all night and permit nobody
to touch it.
8 Comment: Debate MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010
IS CRIME ALL A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE?
IN THE WAKE OF THE SHOCKING ANNOUNCEMENT BY EDDIE, 23, THAT HE IS FED UP WITH LIFE AND THE
WAY THINGS ARE GOING AND HAS DECIDED TO ROB A LIQUOR STORE HAS SPARKED CONTROVERSY IN HIS
LOCAL COMMUNITY; WHETHER OR NOT IT’S A WISE DECISION REMAINS TO BE SEEN

NO YES
He can
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he wal ust jump into s e a p p e aling to
Eddie
ks
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MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010 9 Random
BILL BRYSON DEAD TO US
BY ALEX MASON

Bill Bryson has announced he’s smiley in the pictures. Oh God. It’s DO WITHOUT YOU. WHAT IF
stepping down as Chancellor by the not because of Mostly Harmless is WE END UP WITH STING? OH
end of 2011. Is that even allowed? it? Were we too harsh on old Bill? PLEASE NO, I’LL EVEN TAKE
I thought Chancellor was like Was it the post-coitus joke? I knew BRYAN FERRY PUSH COMES
Pope, you got voted in by a bunch that was over the line. It’s us, we did TO SHOVE. I’M SORRY BILL,
of people in a smoke filled room this and it’s all my fault. I lost us I’M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING
and had to hold up until you died. Bill, and now we’re going to have to PLEASE DON”T LEAVE ME.
The only difference is Bill Bryson find someone else famous who also PLEASE. PLEASE.
only dresses like an idiot during really really likes cathedrals. Wait, isn’t Angelos Epithemiou
graduation week, and doesn’t spend I can’t believe I’m the straw coming to Durham soon, maybe we
half his day covering up instances of that broke the camel’s back. The old can get Vic Reeves?
child abuse. editorial team said he exhumed the
Ustinov knew how to play by body of his predecessor and then
the rules, he kept going right until performed a DIY post-mortem on
the end like a gent. If Bryson thinks the steps of St Peter’s Cathedral
he’s getting anything named after (issue 5), how the hell was I more
him he’s got another thing coming. offensive than that?!
Jeremy Vine has already shotgunned COME BACK BILL, WE
the next college and Gabby Logan is LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU
due at least a library wring. BILL. I LOVE YOU. YOU WERE
What could possibly have made LIKE HALF OUR JOKES WHAT
Bill want to go? He always looks so THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO You’re not getting this back
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
HAYWOOD JABLOME INVESTIGATES THE NAME TRENDS OF THE 90’S

with a 17 point jump. Also in this


year, Christian benefits from a huge
bump which leaves Jesus trailing,
making the country officially more
Christian than Jesus.

‘94 - Last minute resurgence by


Whitney, but still nothing like the
glory days. Also in this year, José
gained 37 points in a tricky away
fixture.

‘95 - Whitney drops out of the


1990- after a solid run in the top behind Whitney! That’s compared
charts, never to make a successful
100 name charts throughout the to a pitiful 5 point rise for Jesus
comeback.
80s, Whitney maintains a good 60th himself. Looks like Whitney will
place. A special mention to the im- have some real competition next
We’ll be keeping track to see if
pressive effort by the previously year.
Whitney ever returns, but we doubt
overlooked Zachary this year.
it. This period of the 90s also saw a
‘92 - Following from last year,
massive rise for the names John and
‘91- Mariah storms into the charts Mariah takes advantage of Whit-
Connor (Terminator we guess), Sab-
for the first time, rising a massive ney’s plummeting performance and
rina (the teenage witch?), Ayisha,
210 places to 69th - just one place snatches the lead for the first time
and Mohammed.
10 Olympics MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010

OLYMPIC COMMITTEE BANS INFLUENCE OF GOD


BY NICK OSBOURNE

attitudes to sex and extreme displays of ing ‘I’m just cooling down, I’ve never
greed are also said to be top on the cov- even heard of God’.
ert religious runner’s wish list. At least However, no real convincing as-
one athlete is believed to have erected sault was ever mounted by the Olympic
a 60ft statue of himself in his own back committee and religion remained in the
garden in an attempt to throw off inves- background. The problem grew pro-
tigators. The issue has been extremely gressively worse with the 1996 Atlanta
divisive within the sporting community, games 100m final is said to be the most
with a schism arising over whether the divine race ever run. Angry detractors
act of communion should be considered called the race ‘practically evangelical’.
a symbolic gesture, or an actual contra- There have been many vocal athletes
Following this weekend’s announce-
vention of blood-doping regulations. who have fought against what they call
ment that yet another athlete has admit-
Of course, this is a problem that has ‘the terminal diocese that is slowly kill-
ted to having won her race “by the grace
weighed heavy on the sport for many ing our sport, but admittedly, ultimately
of God”, the IOC has pledged to dou-
years now, indeed it is said 10 years saving it’. It appears this time the Olym-
ble its efforts to rid the sport of divine
ago nearly all athletes were bordering pic committee have been listening. They
intervention. Jacques Rogge, the com-
on fundamentalism. Probably the most are currently deciding the punishment
mittee chairman, told Mostly Harmless,
well known athlete to be caught prac- for an athlete whose confession was
“We simply can’t have God interfering
tising religion was Perclift Gobby of caught on tape by a news of the world
like this. He’s a hugely influential guy.
Belgium, adored around the globe, and journalist dressed as an Irish Priest.
It’s just not fair on decent, hard working
ranked world number 1 in the steeple
atheists.”
chase. An eternal ban was handed down
Since rigorous counter-Christianity
after he was found to have an unusu- Related Articles:
measures were introduced last month,
ally high levels of joy in his system. He
there have been reports of several ath-
was known for his unusual technique of “Pope held over illegal betting scam” -
letes using drugs, or “masking agents”,
fully submerging himself every water p47’;
in order to disguise their divinity from
jump. When rumours of belief started, “Athlete walks 100 metres backstroke”
IOC testers. The most effective of these
Gobby merely shrugged them off say- - p23
is thought to be crack cocaine. Liberal
MOSTLYHARMLESS 11 - SUMMER 2010 11 Economy
DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS
BY MARK E EVERETT

there’s just no way out. very much, more than they’ll


Stress is on the rise, and as ever know and they should look
medical bills escalate and the after mummy and each other be-
pills have less and less of an ef- cause it’s important they grow up
fect, the numbness has returned. to be kind and caring. Sources
Coupled with a sinking feeling indicate that he is very very sorry
of imprisonment and that you’re and would do anything for them
no longer able to provide, it all but they have to be strong and
In this special exclusive we can seems like too much for one per- make their own way now and one
reveal that it’s not worth it, not son to bear. Several attempts to day they’ll understand/.
worth it at all. This news comes alleviate the pain have come up Whether or not it’ll ever get
at a time when printed media is short, and with banks not loaning better remains to be seen, but
enduring its last death spasms and friends unable to look you with everyone against you in an
and veteran journalists are lucky in the eye, the insurance money unforgiving world it is specu-
to keep their jobs. In a post-re- looks like the only hope. lated the likelihood is low and
cession economic climate sala- At time of press, both Nathan “This is the only way to make the
ries are failing to keep up with and Michael Everett are loved pain go away”.
living costs, and with debt rising
12 Thanks MOSTLYHARMLESS 12 - MICHAELMAS 2010

THANKS
Editors:
Jon Osborne
Alex Mason

Artistic Editor:
Dan Dyer

Head Photoshopper:
Matthieu Miossec

Publishing:
Sasha Magill

Treasurer:
Hisham Alhassan

Sub-Editors:
Alex Baker,
Richard Hadden

Printed by Sharman&Co

Thanks to: Iain Hamilton (amazing


Red Ed picture), Joshua Dixon,
Matthieu Miossec and Moray (for
the Cameron likeness), Matthew
James, Maxime Dargaud-Fons, and
Mike Higgs.

Apologies and thanks to Evan Jones,


Rachael Revesz, Sarah Brown and
Samantha all of whom we somehow
forgot to thank in issue 10.

Thanks also to our distribution team.

Mostly Harmless would like to thank


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MOSTLYHARMLESS NEEDS YOU


No really, we do. We don’t just this up here for fun.

Like what you see? Hate it? Join our team. Please. We’re always looking
for writers, artists, cartoonists, designers, copy editors, cheerleaders, and
impressionable young women.

Any witty observations, serious but amusing comment, funny headlines or news in
briefs welcome. Remember, journalism doesn’t have to be boring...or factual.

We’re also looking for people with organisational and marketing skills. We need
you to strongarm well meaning businesses into giving us money.

Queries/submissions to: mostlyharmless10@gmail.com

www.mostly-harmless.org.uk

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