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fall 2010
Dear reader,
The World Is Too Much With Us
William Wordsworth

“The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.”

Hope is the Thing with Feathers

Emily Dickinson

“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.”

All the Best,


table of contents staff

Alex Gerstein
Rishab Guha
Dan Turkel
NEWS EDITORS Caroline Begleiter
Aemilia Phillips
David Sheinfeld
BEACH Jordan Stein
Christian Moore
Andrew Park
11 Merry Sun
Gary Lanza
heaven: every type of renewable energy was

LET’S GO CLUBBIN’ used on campus. Solar hot water was better (and
hotter!) than what I got at home (and especially
appreciated when the area lost power for ten

HABITAT FOR days), and a whiff of biodiesel was never difficult

to catch. Every meal was served family-style,
eaten with seven random Chewonkians. I ate
HUMANITY many breakfasts with the teacher whose test I was
about to take, and the conversations were always
CAROLINE BEGLEITER rapid-fire and stimulating. Hard to believe, but
everyone was friends with everyone else: I spent
In today’s world, international disasters dominate many early Saturday mornings going down to the
news broadcasts, and community service is waterfront with classmates and the head of school
something kids do in other countries. However, (aka the principal) to do a “polar bear swim” in
at Greeley, the Habitat for Humanity club has the freezing water. One blissful afternoon found
managed to have a huge impact on our local me shoveling dirt while discussing with a fellow
communities. Working with teacher advisors Mrs. student and a member of the maintenance staff
McKenna and Ms. Miller, Presidents Julia Keegan, how artists express themselves in unique ways.
Henry Fishkin, Andrew Pott, and Isha Chhabra have
built at sites spanning from Millwood to Yonkers— Here’s how the week is set up: there are classes
painting, planting, hammering, and lifting for Monday through Friday. Every class is taught on an
people who need help in the Westchester area. AP level, but in close-knit, low-key ways. Classes
are small (five to fourteen students), and we
Although Habitat is commonly perceived as being referred to teachers by their first names. Science
all about building houses, according to President was called “Natural History of the Maine Coast,”
Julia Keegan, “[The club’s] focus is to educate and every week there was a five-hour field trip to
about affordable, green housing.” It’s important learn about different species. By the end of the
for people to be aware of the cost benefits a green semester, there was scarcely a species I couldn’t
house can provide, as well as the positive long-term identify on a walk in the woods. Every other Friday,
effects it can have on the environment. Inexpensive we spent science class doing a phenology study,
in which we went to a spot of our choice in the

housing in Westchester may seem outlandish,
but the houses built by Habitat volunteers are forest and spent an hour alone studying. I spent
affordable and available to those who need them. hours shooting close-ups of lichen and birchbark
there for a photography project. In Spanish class,
Habitat’s current projects include “rehabbing” the with seven students, we read Pablo Neruda’s
house of an 86-year-old woman in Chappaqua. poetry, learned Spanish pop songs, performed

There they are painting, planting, and making many Lorca plays, and learned farm and nature
minor, yet necessary renovations. They are also vocabulary. Math class had five students. Over
currently working on turning a two-family home in tea, we discussed everything from tidal patterns
Ossining into a house for volunteer firefighters. In to tree rings and their relation to calculus. We
addition to these two projects, they are assisting at could choose when and where to take many of
sites in Yonkers, Mount Vernon, and New Rochelle. DR. RESNICK’S PATH TO HEALTHY LIVING: Insight into an alternative educational opportunity: Chewonki Semester School our tests with an incredible amount of trust from

In the year to come, Habitat will need volunteers to

help with these and other projects. Habitat has been
Part one of a series of advice columns from Zach Resnik, self-proclaimed health expert
“Do something different.” That’s the motto of
New Hampshire, two from New York, and one
our teachers. Every Wednesday and Thursday
afternoons, there were no classes; instead, we
did work program. Because Chewonki had no
Chewonki Semester School, where I spent the from Atlanta. This was my new family, and we janitorial staff, we did our own maintenance—
focusing on helping nearby towns, but recently, the ZACH RESNIK spring semester of my junior year. But I could also immediately got into our own communal comfort mopping, toilet cleaning, painting, carpentry,
presidents have come up with an idea to do service This article is the first in a series that will help much harder to fall asleep. I find that a nice glass sum up Chewonki in other ways: lots of snuggling zone. These girls would become not only my cooking, tractor repair, vegetable planting, you
at Greeley. Their goal is to make a rooftop and to you make that conscious choice. Let’s start with of herbal tea before I go to bed makes me sleep (but very little showering), no cellphones (but classmates, but also my sisters, best friends, and name it—on our mini-community. I once spent
plan a trip to New Orleans. They also need volunteers the most important aspect of your health: sleep. much better…and dream much more crazily. lots of backpacking and ice-fishing), jam sessions witnesses to all the beautiful craziness that would four hours chopping wood with my principal and
to help with the yearly silent auction fundraiser. So you wake up Monday morning. You feel pretty You’ll discover other tips and tricks that work for around a campfire (but February temperatures happen once we got comfortable with the place. my best friend; another time, I spent two hours
horrible, and just wish that somehow you could you if you try. Remember you can never adhere so cold you needed to wear a coat to go to the helping the French teacher fix her car engine.
Habitat for Humanity is surely a great way to get a couple more hours of sleep. Why does school to all these guidelines all the time, and if you bathroom), doing field science on hikes in state We had so many memorable moments, starting
get involved with the local community. For more have to start so darned early? Unfortunately, try, you’ll just go crazy. Everybody slips up and parks (but also going to Bowdoin to see The with a literal trial by fire one night when someone So what does a Chewonki graduate get from
information, email waking up at the wee hours of the morning is no one, not even me, is perfect. Just keep these Vagina Monologues). Chewonki was different, and accidentally left a Sharpie atop the stove and this whole experience? Sometimes dreadlocks
something you better get used to. How can you things in mind and know that the more you help for me, it was perfect. It’s a mini-utopia on the it melted, releasing an eye-itching odor that and neon-tinted hair; almost always a ridiculous
stay up to do whatever you want, wake up for a your body, the healthier and happier you’ll feel. coast of Maine where 40 lucky juniors from across filled every inch of the cabin. Another time, two affinity for the Maine Coast, the Great North
7:45 class, and still feel at the top of your game? What you’ll notice is that once you start getting a the country live and study together each semester. cabinmates sleep talked their way through a Woods, Mount Katahdin (the highest in Maine,
You can’t. At some point you have to make the good night sleep for a couple of days in a row, the debate on the death penalty. Some mornings, and the northernmost tip of the Appalachian Trail),
conscious effort to feel good. It won’t be easy. amount of sleep you need to feel good decreases I arrived at Chewonki on a 10-degree day last we awoke at three to go check on the newborn black-capped chickadees, and “mauling” wood;
a bit. That is a great thing. What is important January, and was soon told to give my trunk to lambs at Chewonki’s farm; others, we threw on at least 60 new, incredibly amazing, incredibly
Not everyone needs the same amount of sleep. is getting that extra hour or two because then “the man with the beard,” so he could move it a pair of overalls and a flannel to go get the different friends (many of whom, if you’re lucky,
Some of you might really require nine hours you’ll feel that much better and that much more to my cabin. I looked around—all the men had compost and “slop” buckets before breakfast. will last a lifetime); an incredible appreciation
of sleep after a hard day of school and sports. productive the next day. Try this little experiment beards! And they were all wearing flannel shirts for the alternative types known as “crunchy
Others might feel fantastic and revitalized with for a week or two. Your body will thank you. too. But my man with a beard was Chewonki’s So many things made Chewonki an incredible granolas;” an ability to appreciate everything in
just seven. The first thing you need to do is to place. I got to live with 39 “best friends,” and within
environmental science teacher, Peter, who guided nature; the realization that math class can be
figure out that magic number. Keep in mind that a month, nothing was taboo. One dinnertime
me across the pristine, icy campus to the cabin a blast when it has only four students; and the
while figuring out what works for you, you really where I would spend the next four months. was spent talking with other students and the confidence that no matter what time you go back,
need to gauge the amount of time you spend art teacher about which drugs should be legal or
The place was totally rustic—basically four thin when you head two miles down Chewonki Neck
sleeping—not just the amount of time you’re illegal. Want to wear the same flannel for 10 days
wood walls and a couple of windows, with eight Road in Wiscasset, Maine, there will always be a
in your bed. Now that you have your number, simple bunks arrayed around the perimeter—andin a row? No problem! And for Lent, two of my family of teachers and friends who love you and a
you’re ready to start planning. Try to finish all smelled strongly of wood smoke because of theclassmates gave up showering for two months! new group of 40 kids having the time of their life.
of your homework and any potentially stressful Then there was the spring “Mud Rove”: Everyone
black, pot-bellied stove sitting in the middle.
activities before you start to get tired, because Peter assured me the cabin wouldn’t always beon campus, including the teachers, gathered on the
once you’re tired, you’ll take twice as long to nearby waterfront (Chewonki is on a peninsula in
so frigid—it would warm up once the fire was fed.
finish work and with worse results. Try to not use Montsweag Bay), where we dove into the mudflats
a computer within an hour before when you plan By that night, seven strangers had arrived and used them as Slip ’n’ Slides. What a mess.
to sleep; the light from the screen tricks your and were living in the cabin with me: one
body into believing it’s daytime, making it that from Maine, three from Connecticut, one from And for a green girl like me, Chewonki was

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The Hype:
SENIORs 2011 Photos provided by Layla Gulergun and Jessia Ma

The Kicker Notes get loud at a Varsity Boy’s Soccer game Greeley shows their spirit and support for Orange and Blue at this year’s homecoming football game.

EMMA Zander
I vividly remember the first day of high school:
the disastrous spray tan that covered every inch
highest level. I was fascinated by the way they
held themselves: almost bigger than life, taking
The proud seniors we watched last year are now
fully immersed in new worlds, and all of high
I could start this off like Mike Levine, or even
David Sheinfeld, by going off in fifty different
Seriously though, being a senior gives us the
chance to do things we could never do before. I
I don’t really know any freshmen other than my
twelve peer children and Ryan Quish, but I want
of my body, the headband I had spent hours each step with an effortless sense of pride. I school is just a memory to them. They come directions, making as many pop-culture can wear a bunch of different lame old man hats to get to know some of you before I pass on to
agonizing over, and the girl whose hand had found it amazing that two syllables could brand home to visit, but their minds are occupied references as possible in order to make you laugh, that my father Barrett likes to wear, except now the next life. Just because we can’t be friends on
nervously clenched mine as we walked to the a group of people so effectively—unifying them with the new opportunities they have created and maybe getting my point across. Instead, I’ll people think they’re cool! It’s now hip to make tons Facebook doesn’t mean we can’t be friends in real
freshman section. I remember almost forgetting into a cohesive community, distinguishing them for themselves. They have gained perspective get right to the point: this article is all about the of Facebook statuses about my latest college visits life. I bet you’re a little turned off by this heavily
to breathe as I frantically searched a hundred from all other students, and enhancing everything and a greater sense of their priorities, and have hoopla of being a senior. (WOO SENIORS ‘11 and accolades for everyone to appreciate. Getting opinionated article. You may think that someone
unfamiliar eyes for just one comforting glance. I they had ever been known for. When a cute boy left the world they had once seemed to rule. FINA11Y! [Insert other word with double L here]). into Photo J is a big deal and the whole school with so many opinions should just go make a tumblr
remember the pink case I had filled to the brim transformed into a cute senior boy, everything If you don’t want to read my opinion then stop should know about it. Also, I don’t know how many for no one to read, but you know what? Tumblrs are
with twenty-two back-up pencils, and the smile I changed. If a senior even acknowledged me, Now, we are trying to create a niche for reading the Opinions section and instead back a people know about this secret trick called “College artsy and allow individuals to express themselves.
had practiced in case I would have to conveniently I would blush in embarrassment. My friends ourselves—to figure out what we want, and few pages to the boring articles on serious world Meetings,” but it’s really simple. You go into this On a final note, I would like to thank the senior
forget one of these pencils and borrow one from spoke of them on a first name basis, as one through applications, test scores, and teacher issues. I was asked to give my two cents on the hidden room in the Guidance Office and you can class for really coming together this year. I mean,
the sophomore boy behind me in English. I would speak of a celebrity after reading a recommendations, hopefully end up there. senior experience (the actual senior experience, miss class without getting in trouble! What do you we’re all a family under one sky, we’re a family
remember the sea of strangers towering over me tabloid. I had never witnessed a force so strong. As seniors, we are constantly consumed with not the internship opportunity) because we’ve all mean? Of course I’m interested in the Colorado under one sky. Everyone doubted us, but look
as I struggled to distinguish each brick building preparation for the future, inching our foot out waited so long for the chance to drive to school School of Mines! My advice is to spread out the at where we are now: good at football and by
from the last—but mostly, I remember the seniors. It never occurred to me that I would one day of the door with each day that passes. With no (confession: I still haven’t passed my road test) classes you miss. Teachers can’t get mad at you far the best-looking grade since the hubbybear
be a senior. The senior me seemed to live in older kids roaming the halls to keep our egos and to walk through the special senior door. All and getting nice emails after the meeting from himself, Joao Sousa, walked these halls.
The seniors seemed almost legendary in stature. some alternate universe, infinitely cooler than in check, we are free to be who we are. I have jokes aside, being a senior is sick. It is very difficult admissions officers is a great way to feel wanted.
With their key chains swinging around their fingers, the freshman me. I thought that once I had realized that there is no magical change that is for me to describe the feeling of pulling into school Ever sincemy graduation into seniordom,
their steaming Starbuck’s cups accessorizing completed three years of high school, I would supposed to come over us. We are still the same during the middle of the day with Z100 blaring teachers treat me much better. The librarians
every outfit, and their sunglasses shielding any suddenly possess that distinctive air of self- people we were when we nervously walked into from my friend’s car while I throw my hands up in love me now and use my name politely, probably
trace of vulnerability; the seniors took on a whole assurance—but even now, with my name sprawled the first day of school; we just have to decide the air sometimes, singing along with “Dynamite.” due to the fact that the huge cluster of over six
different persona. I watched in awe as their cars across the cafeteria window in orange paint, where we want to be when we walk out of this And yeah, I have a brown paper bag proving I gentlemen not doing work has moved to the senior
sped by to that famous senior lot, blasting the I feel as if I have been painfully misinformed school. We have to decide who we want to be got lunch off-campus. Wanna fight about it? section. Matt Hong, we have truly gone to Caf.
latest rap song with the bass turned up to the about what it really means to be a senior. when the word “senior” no longer defines us.

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Republicans and the

November Election
Reading, Outside of TAEGAN CLARKE
It’s very likely that the Republicans will American prosperity. The American public

take back power this November in a is tired of the same rhetoric heard from
landslide election. With 20 days until the both sides of the aisle. The Republicans
election, the Republicans are projected have a golden opportunity to capitalize
to gain eight seats in the Senate, 48 in on the American public’s discontent with
the House and seven governorships. But the drastic shift left brought about by the
the real issue is what the Republicans Obama administration. If Republicans do
DAVID SHEINFELD can do after they have been invited to not capitalize on this current sentiment
I need to talk to you in private. Yes, reading group in third grade, and ball or economics or just read point- restore America. What do Republicans and enact policies that prove to the
you. No, don’t look around, checking second, that you like to read hu- less articles that jump around from need to do if they win these seats and American public that they can, in fact,
over your shoulder to see if it’s you mor. I can’t say that I’m the funni- here to there, loosely connected by gubernatorial races? After a dismal lead effectively, efficiently and responsibly,
I really want to talk to. I’m talking est person in the world, but I like to bad jokes. I urge you to put down ten years in American politics, can the the leftist agenda of pushing America
to you. I’m sorry that I had to single think I’m in the top seventeen. And, A Separate Peace or The Crucible cycle of empty promises, false hope and toward a socialist state will be successful.
you out like that, but así es la vida— like I said, if you’ve made it this far, if you’ll be more excited to corrupt politicians be turned around?
which loosely translates to “livin’ la you’re enjoying my writing. Congrat- read Fight Club or The Brief
The American electorate is the most
vida loca.” And now that we’ve paid ulations! You like to read pieces that and Wondrous Life of Os-
I have some advice for Republicans informed electorate to date; we will not
tribute to my twelfth-favorite ex- don’t make you LOL, but rather LIYH car Wao. Go read a book
boy-band dreamboat, we can move (figure it out…if you’re not laughing containing words that I on these counts: try sticking to the be fooled, duped or coerced by empty
on to the matter at hand: reading. out loud, you’re ________) and have can’t legally write in a conservative values you espouse or else rhetoric and false hope. The electorate
You might be saying, “Hold on a min- more tangents than a sine graph. school publication, but find yourself quickly losing political power is fearful of the direction the country is
ute, Shiny! On an unrelated note, can probably be found like the Democrats. Hey, I can go one step moving in and, as a result, is bucking
what is your first name? Because I I know, as a part of the teenage male on the walls of the further: try proposing and then passing the Democratic rule. Republicans need
have always called you Shiny, and I community, I shouldn’t say this, but Lower L bath- legislation that the American public actually to stick to what is getting them elected
just flat out forgot your real name! I am going to anyway: there are bet- room. Heck, go needs, or repealing the liberty-crushing and deliver results to the American public.
David? I like that name better. Any- ter things to do in our small amount read Holes again
legislation that has a chokehold on
way David, aren’t you a handsome, of spare time than play video games. if it means you’ll
dashing and smart person who loves This article isn’t about how “society want to get up
to read?” Yes, this is a valid point. is much worse now than it was fifty and read. You could
However, we can talk more about me
later while we share a bottle of Mar-
tinelli’s Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Apple
years ago because of technology.”
Fifty years ago, we were all cower-
ing under our desks in preparation
even pull a Noah Shaw
and read the Fiske
Guide to Colleges over
The Quality of American Voting
Cider and whisper sweet nothings to for the seemingly inevitable nuclear and over again. Just get
one another in the corner of a little, holocaust, and if we wanted to paint out and read. There’s If we expected every citizen to perform bypass that only 22% approve of the performance of voter a plethora of examples of policies that
dimly lit hole-in-the-wall restaurant bombs on our friends’ cars, we had a reason why sophisti- surgery, we would have to provide them with Congress, and according to a recent poll by Real have succeeded or failed and a chance to see
in the Village that only non-main- to use yucky toxic lead-based paint. cated language is the extensive training in coronary biology. Yet, we Clear Politics, only 34% of Americans feel that the effects of different philosophies in practice.
stream, nonconformists know about. But technology is a double-edged one gift humans have expect every citizen to vote for the leaders the country is “headed in the right direction.”
sword. While we waste our time and over the other beasts of our country with virtually no instruction on What can we do to educate our fellow citizens
I am here to talk to you about what brains on the newest Call of Duty of the world, and it’s the subject. Presently, the public commends How can we improve voter quality? Well, we in these skills and ensure the quality of our
studies, conducted by my imagina- game, children in China and India not to trash-talk some- efforts to simply “get out the vote” and can begin by restoring in Americans the belief collective vote? Perhaps the best place to start
tion, show to be high schoolers’ are studying eight hours a day out- body on XBOX Live. involve a greater portion of the citizenry in that the person we vote for matters, and that is in middle and high school. In school, students
single least favorite thing to do, side of school for a shot at a future.
the electoral process. However, we rarely it is each citizen’s responsibility to use his vote are exposed to both American and world history,
just behind being mauled by a ko- Although I fear we may have another
modo dragon while being held in assembly because of the generaliza- consider whether people vote wisely. Voter well. At a time when America is deeply in debt, but they are given little opportunity to apply that
a wedgie above Matt Townsend’s tions I am making about Chinese and competence is infinitely more important than involved in a global war, and suffering from a knowledge to current events. Providing courses
head (if you haven’t noticed, Matt Indian children, I believe that needed a mere calculation of those who participate. painful recession, many Americans appear to be in political thought would improve students’
Townsend is like fourteen feet to be said. Fifty years ago we were Unfortunately, many Americans are simply removed from and uninterested in current events. awareness of the way political institutions work.
tall): reading. Many students seem the superpower of the world, and not able to cast an informed vote. One might Students should be encouraged to participate in
to hate reading so much that they now we are slowly in decline while think that in an age of 24/7 television news Society has a responsibility to provide citizens political and debate clubs, contribute articles to
altogether just stop doing it. But China and India vie for center stage. coverage, Americans today would be more with opportunities to learn about politics. Voters school newspapers, and become knowledgeable
what many people don’t realize is aware of events than those of previous need to learn to sift through the barrage of about local, state, and national issues.
that reading can be quite enjoyable; Don’t act like Bobby Boucher’s mom-
generations. But according to a recent Pew coverage provided by newspapers and cable
you just need to find your genre. ma in The Waterboy; there’s no need
to call reading the Devil. Humans Research study, compared to twenty years news shows. Citizens also must develop an ability In the same way that each citizen has a
Can I let you in on a little secret? have been writing long enough for ago, five percent fewer Americans are able to to formulate opinions about issues. Without responsibility to vote, our democratic society has
You’re reading right now. Yes, as we there to be something enjoyable to correctly name the current Vice President, and strong convictions, voters may be persuaded by a responsibility to educate our citizens to vote
“speak,” you are mentally digesting read for everyone. If you like Shake- eight percent fewer are able to name their malicious gossip or negative personal attacks well. Americans, like any democratic people,
every word that I have written. If speare, go ahead and read that. state’s governor. We can easily see the effects on candidates. Finally, and most importantly, are blessed with the opportunity to choose their
you’ve made it this far, then we’ve If you don’t want to be an English of uninformed voting. Despite the fact that Americans need to learn to apply the lessons leaders. But unless we exercise this right with
learned two things: first, that you teacher when you grow up, pick we elect our own representatives, polls show of history to current events. History offers each care, the blessing will likely lead to our demise.
were obviously in the advanced something else. Read about base-

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CHERRY SODA (the best
beverage on the face of
the planet FOREVER 21 ‘SNOOD’




1. MP3 alternatives
4. Roadside assistance: Abbr.
7. Tsp. and tbsp.
11. Start of a book
13. Egg shells in courtyard, i.e.
16. Fuss over oneself JEFFREY CAMPBELL
17. What Keith often does
18. With 43-Across, famous phrase said by NIKE JOCKEY BOXERS

20. Jacques of French cinema
21. Chill
Common free time
Snaky swimmers taegan clarke JESSIa ma
26. Mind reader’s gift DOWN 30. Handyman’s letters where are your favor- of the skinny jeans either, where are your favorite what are your favorite/
27. Moved to first class 1. Strike and rebound 32. Rep. rival ite places to get clothes? (except on Johnny Shankman). places to get clothes? least favorite clothing
31. Greeley’s superior publication 2. Sch. in Madison, N.J. 33. By way of Let’s see- J. Crew, Vine- Also, the ‘sweatpants everyday’ Online. There’s nothing like items?
yard Vines, Ralph Lau- look- not loving it. You guys coming home to a delicious DISLIKE: shoes in general are
35. Forgotten unit of time 3. Brown competitor 34. Ending of buff and ball
ren, my mom,.... or any- know who you are: step it up. new package of goodies. Also, lame. the pretty ones hurt
36. Hungers 4. Idiot 37. Lion’s noise I love constantly borrowing and the ugly ones make peo-
where that sells clothes that LIKE: The Straight Up Casual
40. “Old MacDonald” syllables 5. Citibank nos. 38. Calculus pioneer can be worn on a yacht. Button Down from the wardrobes of my ple look like Frodo Baggins.
41. Church recess 6. Saintly glows 39. Villain, at times infinitely more stylish friends. LIKE: Abercrombie tank-
7. Place to enter a PIN 42. Big beagle feature describe your style what inspires your style? (much to their annoyance- tops, Scarves, Hoodies, Gold
43. See 18-Across
in six words or less Combination of J.Crew and hohoho. i’m still sorry, Karl!) anything. Jewels, Crystals,
45. Prez on a penny 8. Orchestra output 44. It makes Jell-O jiggle Rings. And Last but not
Just trying to keep it classy. Vineyard Vines catalogues.
48. Sheltered from the wind 9. Popular sport at Greeley 46. Early computer language Also, I strive everyday for describe your style in six least, My Asian Grandpa
49. See 18-Across 10. Rio seven 47. Food-poisoning bacteria do you have any Jake Perlmutter to compli- words or less Slippers- forever a classic.
55. Style guru Gunn 11. Hoops stat. 49. Glyphics starter style related advice? ment me. His words in- So homeless it’s painful.
Ask Devin. He is the fresh- spire me, and it’s just not a what inspires your style?
56. “___ speak” 12. Alternatively 50. ___ vincit amor
est kid in the school- may- good day unless it happens. do you have any style i’m much more about admira-
57. Unfit for underclassmen 14. Leave alone 51. Stage in France related advice? tion and respect than inspi-
be the world. It’s really not
59. Let air through 15. Beach toys 52. Suggested that hard to dress well. GETCHYO STEE ON. nev- ration. So for the purposes
62. Prefix with -centric 19. Spanish squiggle 53. Group ideals er steal swag. unless you of this questionnaire, off the
23. Functions 54. Gossip what are your favorite/least can get away with it. top of my head, some cool
63. Mr. Selesnick, for one
favorite clothing items? Also, personal hygiene should fashionistas/brands are prob-
64. Revolts 24. Greek word of cheer 55. Many a sitcom rating always be emphasized (cough ably S. Fleming, the Olsens,
DISLIKE: I don’t want to say
65. Animal with a beard 27. Actress Thurman 58. Haircuts Uggs because everyone hates cough EHHHHH. smiley face). Olivia Lo, Noot Seear, Alexan-
66. Company despised by many H.S. students 28. Jump off the page 60. “We know drama” sloganeer on them, but I do strongly der Wang, Obey, Kitsune, and
67. Intelligence grp. 29. Merchandise: Abbr. 61. Golf pro Erniev dislike them. Not a huge fan Juicy Couture, respectively.


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The Social Network:
Enduring Masterpiece, Or Just
Au Coraunt?
  With a 97% positive score on Rot- level greatness—it fails to break revisited by film lovers 50 years
ten Tomatoes and a huge opening any new ground. Perhaps it is not from now? When I asked David
weekend at the box-office, David fair to compare it to the products Fincher at the New York Film
Fincher’s The Social Network is of the last 100 years of cinema, Festival about the advantages of
definitely a success. But is the where almost everything has digital cinema, calling him a per-
film destined to be an enduring been said, in one way or another. ceived champion of the medium,
masterpiece or is it just riding the Technically, the finished product he responded by saying: “I’m not
wave of topicality? The answer to is nothing short of astonishing; a champion of digital cinema. I’m
both questions is no. Granted, it unfortunately, the plot does noth- a champion of inevitability.” This
is an extremely well-done film- ing to help distinguish The Social may prove that digital cinema
entertaining and gripping; but Network from many similar films. is here to stay and that what
does it truly deserve to be held in             Part of the film’s technical seems like a gimmicky fad may
the same regard as masterpieces brilliance can be attributed to the in fact be the future of cinema.
like Citizen Kane, or The Godfa- way it was shot. Instead of tradi- However, whether or not its me-
ther? No. Is it simply a shallow tional 35mm, the film was shot us- dium stands the test of time, the
film, immersed in the topical- ing the RED One Digital Camera, film’s ending remains timeless.
ity of Facebook, a website which essentially on the format of HD The ending, arguably the most
could easily be out of date by the Video. Many film enthusiasts con- powerful part of any film, is es-
next generation? Absolutely not. sider video to be a step backwards pecially so in this film; perhaps
Indeed, one of the film’s strongest in terms of quality, and most of even one of the greatest endings
points is how it avoids the tempta- the time they’re right, but Fincher of all time. The audience is left
tion of its hyper-relevant subject uses video to his advantage. In- with the timeless feeling of be-
matter and focuses instead on stead of trying to emulate the ing alone, the simple feeling of
the strong story of friendship, be- warm feeling of film, he uses the being so in love with a girl, yet
trayal, and alienation that can be cold, distancing nature of video to incapable of expressing such a
applied to any decade. The film evoke the feel of computerization. love. Facebook or no Facebook,
strongly resembles Wall Street, Still, many think the video is dis- computers or no computers, in
which defined the 80s stylistically, posable, a band-aid, so to speak, the end, the feeling of love, of
but contained a story that has which begs the question: does wanting, has always been, and
Kanye’s Return to Power remained timeless over the past
twenty years. However, The So-
the same aesthetic apply to the
entire film? Was The Social Net-
will always be, the epitome of
human emotion, something that
SKY JARRET cial Network’s story is also what work made to be a cash cow will always transcend time and
keeps it from true, masterpiece- today, or was it designed to be will never be simply “au courant.”
Kanye West, undoubtedly a major figure the song, and lyrics that successfully go
in current pop culture, has proven his back and forth between self-aware and

talent at both rapping and producing defiant. His live performance of this song
time and time again; but he’s taken on Saturday Night Live was strange and
a huge hiatus since his 2008 album, artistic, but very impressive nonetheless.
808s and Heartbreak. That album was
notably different from Kanye’s previous A recent remix of Power features the
works because it used popular Auto- production and vocals of Swizz Beats
Tune technology, which enabled Kanye and Jay-Z, a combination that can only A new wave of TV has been sweeping the na- potential, but we’ll have to see what becomes of it. and women on the show think that they are com-
to “sing.” In hits such as Love Lockdown result in great music. It will be released tion. Comedies and dramas such as Board- peting to see who is the most physically beautiful,
and Heartless, Kanye turned away from on Kanye’s new album, due to come out walk Empire, Raising Hope, and True Beauty Raising Hope, a new series on Fox, has started off but 50% of the competition is judged by observers
rapping, in an attempt to be a singer. in November, entitled My Beautiful Dark are ready to start a new season. With all of this with a really strange, but interesting first episode. behind hidden cameras who document the nice and
Twisted Fantasy. The songs that have buzz, it can be hard to keep track of what’s hot The main character of the series is a 25-year-old nasty things that they say. In the end, the contes-
I was not a big fan of this. If you can’t been leaked from it so far are Lost In the and what’s not, what’s new and what’s coming man who has recently become the single father to tants are judged on their outer looks and their in-
sing then Auto-Tune should not be an World, All of the Lights, Devil In A New back. We all need some new drama and com- the baby of a woman he had a one-night stand ner personality. True Beauty’s new season on ABC
excuse to re-invent your career—it’s Dress, Runaway (which was performed at edy to keep our busy lives from making us crazy. with, who was put on death row for murdering all will be its second. I did happen to see the first sea-
just uncreative and boring. Not that the recent VMAs), and of course, Power. of her previous boyfriends. I set the DVR, inter- son of the show, and I think it’s a brilliant idea for
Kanye’s post 808s career was boring: Each track is really different and special. The brand-new series on HBO, partially created ested in seeing how the show would turn out after both drama and comedy. It can be surprising how
he was most notable for his infamous Although Kanye pulls out the Auto-Tune by Martin Scorsese, Boardwalk Empire debuted reading the synopsis, but was disappointed when catty extremely conceited young people will be in
upstaging of Taylor Swift at last year’s once in a while, the other tracks where on September 19th. Set during the Prohibition Era I just wasn’t feeling it. It’s a crazy family drama, front of a TV camera. From cursing to fighting to
VMAs. Now, Kanye is beginning to re- he actually raps totally make up for it. in Atlantic City, New Jersey, the show is a drama but unlike Modern Family or Parenthood, every backstabbing, it’s quite hilarious to watch the con-
ignite his musical career. He has been However, rap music is changing. In order focusing on political figure Enoch Thompson. At character has something to say or do, and each testants when they don’t think anyone is watching.
coming out with a series of singles and to make a really great album, Kanye the start of the show, Prohibition has just been is crazier than the next. For some, this spontane- I can’t wait for the new season and all of its sur-
doing television performances. The has to incorporate something new and put into effect, and Thompson, also known as ous comedy might be barely entertaining, but for prises, and I hope to see some exciting new drama.
single that caught my eye was entitled interesting to prevent the ever-jaded “Nucky,” is the town’s corrupt treasurer, handing others, the simple humor and seemingly ridicu-
Power. It is fantastic, and as I listened pop music listener from experiencing out favors left and right. During the series, Nucky lous plot line will actually make it funny, and allow
to it I was instantly hooked. This song boredom. I am sure that Kanye is interacts with many historical figures, including for an easy laugh in the midst of a stressful day.
demonstrates that Kanye does indeed capable of achieving this, but people are a young Al Capone. The plot and characters are
still have whatever it was that made tired of Auto-Tune. Kanye is an incredibly based off Nelson Johnson’s book, Boardwalk Em- Unlike the other shows in this list, all of which are
his first three albums so great. It shows talented rapper and I am glad he is finally pire, and the real-life Prohibition-era figure Nucky fictional plotlines, True Beauty is a reality televi-
his versatile talents as both a producer utilizing his rap skills once more. I am Johnson. The show’s characters are dynamic, bold, sion show that is straying from the norm. Unlike
and a rapper. It has a rock-tinged torrid really pumped for this album’s release to and willing to do anything to get what they want, most reality television shows, like Keeping Up with
beat that relentlessly pulses throughout see what else Kanye has up his sleeve. which will surely keep the audience riveted. After the Kardashians and Jersey Shore, True Beauty in-
seeing the preview for the show, I believe it has volves both physical and inner beauty. The men

9 10
what to watch out for this fall ALEX GOLD

BLOODY BLOODY Rock Band 3 Black Swan

ANDREW JACKSON (out October 26) (In theatres December 1)
(now playing on Broadway)

Sure, we love Pojer and Montuori, but from time to After some side trips into the realms of The Beatles Besides a certain franchise finale starring a certain
time we long for a different take on American history. and Green Day, our favorite party game returns boy wizard with an oddly shaped scar (Yogi Bear,
And that’s where this hit show, freshly imported
uptown, comes in. This inventive new musical uses
with an all-new installment chock-full of new
features. A vocal harmony system provides you
duh), this is the movie everyone will be talking about
this winter. Conventional wisdom is that Natalie MATT TOWNSEND
an original alt-rock score, which wouldn’t be out of
place on the iTunes charts, to reimagine America’s
with even more notes to miss while singing, and
the brand-new keytar peripheral will surely make
Portman has an Oscar in the bag for her gripping
performance as an overworked, driven ballerina who the unauthorized
seventh president as an emo-rock star and to tell the
story of his fight for populism and his rebellious Indian
Removal Act. Tickets are cheap, and if anything, your
you the talk of 1986. Plus, the new “Pro Mode”
requires loads more accuracy from the brand-new
guitar controllers and even—gasp—teaches you
is slowly going insane in Darren Aronofsky’s upcoming
thriller/drama. Also starring Mila Kunis, this crazy ride
promises to have all the athleticism and psychological
depth of Aronofsky’s The Wrestler, starring Mickey
history teacher might give you extra credit if you tell how to play. And did we mention that “Bohemian
them you’re going, which could totally make up for Rhapsody” is playable in-game? Magnifico indeed. Rourke, but without the steroids and harrowing
Some people know him as “that really tall guy.” Putting the past behind him, Townsend Townsend either; he primarily plays power for-
your shoddy performance in the last in-class debate. scenes set behind supermarket deli counters.
Others know him as “that really smart guy.” When is getting ready for this season. ward for his AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) team.
  scenes set behind supermarket deli counters.
referring to Matt Townsend, those descriptions He’s also thinking about his future; he has com-
are both correct. However, they don’t mention mitted to play for Yale University next year as a With his eyes set on Yale for next year, the future
that he has started at center for Greeley’s varsity power forward. Regarding his decision to com- looks bright for Matt Townsend. He is still unde-
basketball team ever since his freshman year. Matt mit to Yale, Townsend said, “Athletically I felt I cided about what to do after college. I think the
The 25th Annual Putnam was All-Section in 2009 and averaged 19.4 points
per game that season. He plays the game with a
could really fit in and be successful there, and
the coaching staff really differentiated it from
Knicks should draft him out college, so he can
lead them to an NBA championship (if Amar’e
County Spelling Bee passion and now enters his senior year with his
eyes set on one goal for his last Quaker season:
a lot of the other schools I was considering.”
Yale sees the potential for Townsend to make a
Stoudemire hasn’t already done so by then).
While I wait for this to happen, let’s hope that
(HGHS Auditorium, November 18-20) to make it to the Final Four in the Section I play- huge impact on the court as a freshman. Some Townsend will not only be known as “that really
offs. It’s a goal the Quakers have not achieved might find it odd that Townsend will not be tall guy” or “that really smart guy,” but also as
A little shameless self-promotion never hurt. Greeley’s fall musical is the hilarious story of a group of during Townsend’s high-school career, but it’s a playing center, his Greeley position. Like cen- “that guy that lead Greeley to the Final Four.”
overachieving middle-schoolers competing for the top prize at a local spelling competition. And since the show goal he feels can become a reality this season. ter, power forward is a rebounding position,
takes place at a realistic spelling bee, audience volunteers will be called up to compete. Who knows…maybe but power forward will also allow Townsend to
you could rewrite your embarrassing loss in the 7th grade bee, but this time in front of a paying audience. “I think the key to getting to the County Cen- get out of the post, and take some shots. From
ter this season is to be consistent and close a personal experience, I can say that his jump
lot of games; two of our losses last season shot is often overlooked. Even though he is
came on buzzer beaters which really hurt our seen primarily as a rebounder and shot blocker,
ranking in Sectionals,” said Townsend in an in- his shooting skills are excellent and match his
terview with Kevin Devaney Jr. of MSG Varsity. play in the post. This isn’t a new position for
* Matt Townsend is neither affliated with nor an advocate of the contents of this article

11 12

Taking My Talents to South Beach/LeBron James

now member of the Heat-part of a “super team”
When the NBA’s most anticipated season in Heat, “You simply don’t deserve this kind
history tips off on October 26th, all eyes will of cowardly betrayal,” and accused LeB-
be on the Miami Heat’s new trio of stars: ron of quitting in last season’s playoffs.
Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris
Bosh. In July, Lebron, the two-time defend- While teams and players would love to
ing MVP, announced in a primetime ESPN emulate what the Heat did this summer,
special that he was heading to Miami, a it’s unlikely that another perfect storm will
move that shook the entire NBA landscape. arise, allowing three of the league’s best
Now, with two of the NBA’s elite superstars in players to join forces. Such an event will
James and Wade and Bosh, one of the most become even less probable next season
offensively talented big men in the league, with the NBA’s impending, stricter salary
visions of a Heat dynasty are realistic. cap. Still, New York Knicks fans can dream
of teaming up recently signed Jewish All-
The new-look Heat, engineered by team Star power forward Amar’e Stoudemire with
president Pat Riley, offers an insightful Carmelo Anthony of the Denver Nuggets,
glimpse into the mindset of modern NBA a free agent in 2011, and Chris Paul of the
stars. Gone are the days in which alpha New Orleans Hornets, a free agent in 2012.
dogs try to prove their superiority over their This potential “super team” was reportedly
peers by demolishing them. In response brought up by Paul in his toast at Anthony’s
to the Miami coalition, Michael Jordan wedding in July. After a decade of futility,
said that in his day, he would never have dreams of a contender at Madison Square
thought to join forces with Magic Johnson Garden now seem at least a bit more plau-
or Larry Bird. Now, as players forge friend- sible as the rest of the NBA tries to formu-
ships from the AAU circuit to college bas- late a method to defeat Miami’s Big Three.
ketball to the NBA to the Olympics, they
are content with joining together to win While the Los Angeles Lakers are the NBA
championships rather than trying to prove champions, the Miami Heat are the talk of
themselves the greatest of their generation. the basketball world. It seems as though
After “The Decision” aired, Cleveland resi- Miami’s group of stars is determined to
dents denounced LeBron, an Akron na- surpass the Kardashian sisters as the most
tive who played his first seven seasons for attention-seeking trio in the history of popu-
the Cleveland Cavaliers, as a traitor and lar culture, and if they manage to conquer
a quitter. Cavaliers majority owner Dan championships together, they certainly will.
Gilbert even wrote in a letter addressed The Heat is as talented as any team, but
to Clevelanders after LeBron chose the does their decision to team up rather than
compete against each other convey that

“ ”
they do not have the mettle to be cham-
pions? We will soon see if the Heat and
their trio of stars are worthy of the hype. Lebron “leaveland” James cartoon

Anyone can support an NFL or an NBA franchise, or even a Premier League club ADVO MAGAZINE INTRODUCES GREELEY’S NEWEST SINGING GROUP:
across the Atlantic. But for me, supporting and cheering for Greeley brings the
true fan out of me. It is my greatest pleasure to have the chance to show my
support for a community to which I belong and chant for my friends who I hold
dear to my heart. Here we go Greeley! - M a t t H o n g
We’ve always wanted to sing for the Quaker Notes. have expanded our operations into the girls’ varsity All our chants are carefully written and scruti-
For the past three years that we’ve tried out for soccer games and varsity football games. Next sea- nized by us the leaders, and are approved by the
the group, however, they’ve been telling us that son we will pay visit to the varsity basketball games. players themselves. However, the Kicker Notes
for some reason, we would not fit in well with the shall not assume any responsibility for the inap-
group. We know that we’re not pretty, we don’t As Greeley’s most elitist and most popular singing propriate nature of any of our songs, or the as-
have silky blonde hair and we don’t look good group, we limit admission to only those who can semblies which will inevitably be held that may
wearing heels, but where’s the appreciation for prove themselves worthy of becoming a member pertain to the usage of songs of such nature.
our inner beauties and our incredible voices? But of the best supporters’ club in Section 1. There are
words can’t bring us down. We said to ourselves, only a handful of prerequisites, but they are vital: *However, simulating the piercing and irritating sound of the vuvuzela
without the use of the actual horn is allowed and is very much encouraged.
it’s their loss. And so this year, we formed a singing
group that every Q-Note, every Enchord, and every
Fella at Greeley will want to join: the Kicker Notes. 1. Kicker Notes need to bleed orange and
blue. If, after cheering, your throat isn’t bleeding
We really began operations as a duo on the 14th and you still have your voice the next day, you
of September, at the varsity soccer team’s game probably don’t have what it takes.
against Blind Brook. Soccer fans love to support
their teams and players by writing songs for them 2. Understand our motto: cheering is our juris-
(and holding vuvuzela concerts, but no noise- diction. Brand it onto your chest.
making devices are allowed in Section 1 sports, of
course)*, and the Kicker Notes was founded upon 3. Score a penalty kick against the legendary
this passion. The popularity of our first two singles Colby Liemer.
that we wrote that day – The Battle Hymn of Colby
Liemer and Nick Giannasca, Greeley’s No. 10 – saw 4. Respect the 3-repetitions-only rule. If you
us gather a considerably large following, and on violate this rule, you will be kicked out.
the 8th of October, at the home game against Fox
Lane, we formed a 12-man ensemble and gave it a 5. No girls – we are not the EnGoals. Exception:
Senior Ben Weinstein pulls out his homemade name. As the group continues to grow in size, we Chelsea Cohen.
‘yellow card’

13 14

Field Hockey Soccer
Nickname? Big Sex Jessia Ma Sourpatch D-lish

Halloween Sexy Police Sexy Police Woody from Toy The Golden
Costume? Officer Officerette Story Snitch

Pizza Station, Old Stone-Brick Marios for life. Pizza Station

Mario’s, or Old Oven at its finest True gastronomi- Basilico
Stone? cal thuggin’ in (or Station’s
Chappaqua delivery crew)

“ ”
For me there are three important parts of being a
fan.  The first part is just being there.  It doesn’t
matter the distance whether the game be at Gree- Best Lookin’ Jake Perlmutter, hahahahah. Matthew Hong
ley, Fox Lane, Byram Hills, or Arlington.  A fan is
willing to travel far distances in order to support Fella? no doubt The Kicker Notes
their team.  Second, is being loud and supportive Ensemble
at games.  This means not only cheering when
the team scores, but cheering when Greeley is
losing and needs the support most. The third im- Favorite Austin “Shall we shag “one MILLLLION “yeah baby
portant part of being a fan is having fun.  That Powers line? now or shag dollars” yeahh” “How ‘bout no
means bringing your friends, making up cheers,
and joking around.  Being a fan of Greeley sports later?” ya crazy Dutch
is one of my favorite activities and nothing is bet- bastard”
ter than going to a game with the Kicker Notes
and just being loud.  It’s the least you can do to
support your hard-working, dedicated friends and Best Dougie in Michael Nadler Warner. no con- Lindsey Kahan
classmates. the school? test. See Brace Who dougies?
-Austin Blumenfeld Porter’s phone It’s all about the
for proof jerk

15 16


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