Lecture- 8 School Exposure

“Certainly Allah’s mercy is near unto the good doer.” (al-Quran 7:56)

Starting school is an exciting experience for young children and a challenging responsibility for the parents.
Those who had the advantage of sending their children to pre-school nursery before the statutory
education have already passed a phase in that challenge. The fact that the young lovely ones are going to
be exposed to host of life experiences should convince the parents to plan and prepare for the new
journey.

Evidently, pro-active Muslim parents are well aware of the challenge and they make their home
environment a learning one. Some Muslim parents help setting their own nursery, on their own or with
the help of similar minded parents.

School provides the first opportunity for exposure to outside world through formalised education. What
does a child learn? In the task-centred education philosophy a child is the tool, although most important.
So, the parents must continuously interact with him as to what is going on in his world of schooling.
Parents should ask, help, guide and build confidence in him. The parents need to share with their child the
experience of school life. They need to cultivate the potentials of their sweet one and attempt to harness
them. However, going through the child’s learning process needs an open and broad outlook from the
parents, a sensitive approach and conscientious attitude.

Which School?

Muslim parents are genuinely concerned about the amoral values in the schools. There are of course
many religious denominational schools, most of whom are church based. There also exist some private
Muslim schools in many western countries now. In Britain there are two government-funded Muslim
schools. But for ordinary Muslims the choice is limited which lead them to hard reality of choosing normal
government schools. But whatever school may be chosen for the child, he needs the basic and obligatory
knowledge of Islam which the parents are obliged to provide.

School Curriculum and Moral Issues

It is acknowledged that curriculum in western education is broad and it intends to cover wider subject
areas. However, there are some areas which need serious scrutiny from Islamic point of view. The
proliferation of permissiveness has its impact on the school curriculum to the extent that even primary
school children are forced to learn about sex. It is unfortunate that young children are bombarded with
value-free ideas about life as if they are adults. There are also issues of music, dance, mixed swimming,
etc, which Muslim parents need to be aware of.

Social Side of School

Acquiring social and life skills is important. Learning to become responsible and gradually independent in
life starts from school. Home-work, school visits, school functions, etc, are the tools of disseminating
these skills. Parents should inform themselves of what is going in the schools and they must be selective
in allowing their child in those, especially when it comes to overtly Christian functions during Easter and
Christmas seasons?

Potential Hurdles in School

Schools could become difficult for some children and the parents should watch out what message the child
brings from school. Bullying, racism or other hideous offences can create dislike for schools in young mind and
they need to be challenged head on.

Weekend and Evening Schools

Responsible Muslim parents arrange for their child’s Islamic upbringing from his early life. Parents having
lack of knowledge themselves can not shy away from their responsibility. They should involve private
tutors or get help from others and, of course, they should try to overcome their weaknesses.

Getting basic understanding of Islam is a fundamental right for all children born in Muslim families. As the
child grows and start going to school, parents should look for Weekend and Evening Schools, where the
child can learn Qur’an, Arabic and Islamic Studies in an Islamic environment and Muslim-friendly
atmosphere. But care must be taken that the child is not overburdened with too much work and
mishandled by the teachers who have little understanding of techniques to educate young people. We
must not rob children of their childhood by overburdening them with work and work. Where there are no
such schools, parents should look for alternative arrangements.

Islamic Social Environment

Weekend schools or Community clubs can occasionally arrange for day trips, camps, etc, for fun and
learning to live together as Muslims. They also help a child making friendship with others which is
absolutely important for a Muslim. Children make and break friends and learn about themselves and the
world around them. Parents can and should help their young ones to choose suitable friends.

At the same time, if time and finance permit, children should be taken to Umra trips or for visit to other
Muslim historical places to give them wider perspectives of Islamic history. With careful planning this may
not be impossible for many parents.

In order to imprint on the child of clean and innocent recreation, Islamic occasions, such as two Eid days,
should be utilised. Muslim parents need to involve the children in these social occasions. Islamic
recreation has unique moral and spiritual dimension.

Gender Issue

As the child grows, gender issue naturally comes in. While in Islam Taqwa (God-consciousness) is the
criterion for success, gender role is important and the parents should be open about this. Parents need to
gradually teach about the roles and responsibilities of man and woman before school, TV or some other
agencies take this on board and give them distorted views.

Islamic Shariah and Personal Hygiene

A child at this stage grows rapidly. Some grow fast. By the end of the primary school-life most children are
at near- puberty stage. This is when Islamic Shariah begins to be determining factors in their life. Both
father and mother should be pro-actively engaged with their sons and daughters respectively so that they
are not lost or misled in this important juncture of their life. Cleanliness and personal hygiene are
important for boys and girls. Islam is emphatic about cleanliness (part of faith - Hadith)

Family Time

Whatever you spend for the pleasure of Allah will be rewarded; even the mouthful of food you
give to your wife. (Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim)
 Anyone spending for the family for the pleasure of Allah will be treated as sadaqa. (Sahih al-
Bukhari and Muslim)

Earning livelihood is an act of worship. Spending for the family is the best of spending. The above and
other sayings of the Prophet encourage Muslims to earn and spend for the family and others. Provisions
come from Allah and a Muslim should be grateful for what he earns.

Earning livelihood is a struggle, and as such spending quality time for the child is increasingly getting
difficult for the parents. There are many fathers who seldom see their loved ones. Odd jobs at nights and
over-stretched work hinder their interaction with the children, leaving mother alone to struggle with the
household works and manage education of the children. It is essential that parents manage time to sit
together sometimes and discuss family issues of importance. Even if it is absolutely necessary for both the
parents to work full-time they must have plans for getting together on occasions. Children should be
aware of the difficulties faced by their parents.

Parents must manage some time to play with the children. The Prophet has mentioned that those who
have child should act like a child with him. He used to line up three young sons of his uncle Abbas and ask
them to run toward him. They ran, jumped on him and he hugged and kissed them. He sometimes
crawled on his hands and knees while Hasan and Hussain were riding on his back

Discipline

Discipline is important for success in life, but it is a shared responsibility. On the other hand, freedom is in the
human nature. If the parents are successful in creating a family atmosphere where everybody understands his
role and responsibility, discipline becomes ingrained and problem would not occur. Discipline implemented by
force is not natural and bound to fail. Excessive discipline has opposite effect. Nobody feels comfortable
with the ‘control freaks’ around. Too much control leads to rebellion or else make children isolationist,
docile and passive.

Parents must avoid head-on confrontation with their child at any situation. In dealing with a child there
should not be any discrepancy between two parents, or else he will take advantage of that. It is always
better to discuss the strategy beforehand.

Listening Skill

A child is an not adult. He talks, often repeats unnecessarily and sometimes talks without probably any
meaning. This is the way he learns how to communicate with others. Parents need to have patience to
listen to him actively. Active listening is a skill. People have a tendency to talk, not to listen. But wise men
are those who listen. Allah has given man two ears and one mouth in order that he listens more than he
talks and reflects. So, parents need to talk to their child meaningfully and in a way he understands. The
Prophet was an active listener and meaningful speaker.

Aishah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (pbuh) spoke clearly so that all those who listened to him
would understand him. (Abu Dawud)

Anas (RA) related that the Prophet (pbuh) used to repeat his words thrice so that the meanings
were understood fully. (Bukhari)

Enjoying and purposeful Learning

Sensible parents leave room for their child’s physical and mental space. Parents can engage him with
story-telling, and good audio-visual cassettes. Story telling has long-term impact on learning. Stories of
great people on earth, especially the companions of the Prophet are inspiring. Poems, songs and other
artistic areas need to be encouraged as long as they do not go against Islamic boundary. Children must be
encouraged to read, as reading for knowledge and understanding is the way to succeed.

Physical and Mental Fitness

Balanced diet, regular exercise and intelligent games are important to be inculcated among the young
ones so that they make them a habit of life. This is the period when young people could be glued to TV,
which is detrimental for the physical and mental health of the child. According to survey done in many
countries, average child could spend a staggering four to five hours on TV. This can make him dull and has
its negative influence on him. If a child is not prevented from watching too much of TV, he can grow a
loner with complex psychology.

Religious Observance and Islamic Manners

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was the teacher of humanity and he was unique in teaching all aspects of
human life. Life is about education and education starts from childhood. The Prophet has ordered Muslim
parents to teach their children with sincerity and kindness.

Abu Suraiya Sabra ibn Ma’bad al-Juhani narrated that Prophet (pbuh) said : teach your child how
to pray from the age of seven, beat him at the age of ten (if he does not practise) .(Abu Dawud,
al-Tirmidhi).

Abu Hafs Umar ibn Abu Salama narrated : I was a child under the Prophet’s care. While eating my
careless hand would move around in the plate. The Prophet said, “my son, start in the name of
Allah, with the right hand and take the nearest food”. From then onwards I used to eat the way
he taught me. ( Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim)

As manners and behaviour have a high place in Islam, children need to be educated on how to behave
with other human beings and the environment. The Islamic manners how to greet people and respond to
them in various situation, seek permission to enter a house or room, etc, are part of Muslim culture that
has made the ummah a distinct community of purpose. A child’s manners reflect his personality and
future potential. In the modern world trendy fashions, often used by the celebrities, are now in
supremacy. This is geared towards consumer, and often immoral, culture that influence the young minds.
The only survival mechanism is to link the child to Allah

The Legacy of This Stage

In these formative years, before puberty, physical dependency is gradually gone and the legacy of what a
child has learnt continues. Thus support and guidance by parents in this period is thus vital. This is the age
when attitudes and orientation to life are formed, although they may change in the adolescence. In this
stage, a child is straightforward and transparent. With the broader school curriculum and positive family
upbringing he can comfortably enter into adolescence with a broader horizon. A loving and stable
environment at this is absolutely vital.

Questions:

1. How do parents help, guide and build confidence in their child who is starting school?
2. What should Muslim parents do to become aware of what is being taught to their children at school
and what their children are exposed to from the time they step out to go to school to the moment they
return home?
3. How can parents deal with hideous offences such as racism faced by their children at school?
4. Give a detailed list of things that has to be taught to a child who is starting to go to school.
5. What can parents do for them and their children to enjoy Eid?
6. How can parents go about teaching gender issues to their children?
7. What is the meaning of ‘Islamic Shariah’?
8. What is the minimum amount of time that parents should spend with their children for playing and
discussing family issues?
9. Give an example of how parents can create a family atmosphere where discipline becomes ingrained in
their children.
10. Active listening is crucial in parenting. Explain what is active listening and how should one train to
become an active listener?
11. Should parents prevent their children from watching TV?
12. At what age should a child be taught the basic teachings of Islam? What are the basic teachings of
Islam?