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(b) (6)

_ A CIV USARMY HQDA OCPA (US)


(b) (6) (b) (6)
From: _OSD PA ‘mosdmib
Sent: Friday, May 27, 2011 11:29 AM
To: Hamm, Francisco G LtCol USAF SAF SAF/PAYL; _ Mr crv USA
Subject: Autumn Frost - DoD Notes - 5-27-2011.doc
Attachments: Autumn Frost - DoD Notes - 5-27-2011.doc

Gents,

Here's the attachment pasted into this email:

We recognize and appreciate the many changes that have already been made, but we need to fully
resolve the
concerns below before going ahead with finalizing equipment and locations, and also providing
input for realistic radio-
transmission dialogue, tactical orders, military ranks, etc,

Pg 32, INT. NORTHCOM SCIENCE STATION — Morrow must identify himself as being affiliated
with a legitimate military
command, as Hamilton now does, he would have no reason to conceal it. And that command should
probably be ”the
U5. Northern Command.” Lois can still challenge him later about the NSA, though we don’t know
why she’d think
they’d be from a D00 agency that focuses on electronic and signals intelligence gathering.
Note for Paco: I think that NSAT as an acronym is just as suggestive of being fake and as spoken is
too long.
Note for Paco: I think we can give them the actual name ofthe NORAD/NORTHCOM ops center
with our other more
technical input later, if they make these changes.

Pg 63, DAILY PLANET — There must be no ”Tier 1 Operatives” or any other special operators
/SWAT police, etc. Only a
few (no ”army of”) FBI agents in suits. And they must not be "storming through the cubicles”
as if they’re conducting a
drug bust in a thuggish way. The Planet staff are hardly posing a security threat, and there
would be no reason to be
heavy-handed at all. Morrow has no authority at all, and shouldn't cite any. Please change
his line to Perry to
something like ”I’m Colonel John Morrow, as Ms. Lane knows. I’ve been tasked by the national
command authority to
accompany her to Northern Command headquarters.”

- Also, in response to Perry’s line to Morrow about the limits of his authority, an FBI
agent, not Morrow, must
reply with something like ”You’re right, Sir. But we can. FBI.” He should hold out his badge,no
one must produce
handcuffs. Lois isn’t showing any signs of needing to be restrained.

Pg 67, SWANWICK’S OFFICE — Swanwick, Hamilton, and Morrow’s clumsy and ineffective
attempts at intimidation must
be sigificantly reduced. They have no authority and no training in interrogation, and wouldn’t
be doing anything of the
kind. Also, there need be no other people in that office, certainly no ”quartet of AIRMEN,
” since Lois is not posing any
security threat. We recognize that in direction they can be more earnestly frustrated with
her than threatening. To
further support that portrayal:

- Please change Morrow’s line to ”The FBI has your hard drive ....” And ”You might as well explain
things to us."

- Please give Swanwick Hamilton’s questions, and give Hamilton Swanwick’s line about treason.
Lois can accuse
the group, rather than singling out Swanwick in her response.

Note to Paco: We negotiated the following line down from the original, which was an order
to drop the big one.

GENERAL SWANWICK
Only the unthinkable one. Code words have already been issued.

Note to Paco: I think we can ask what’s CGI and what’s not later on if they make these changes.
1
Pg 102, Sc 193 — NORTHCOM OPS CENTER — EXT AIRFIELD: Please give Swanwick Hamilton's line about the “singularity."
We don't want Hamilton to be the only one with some knowledge of astrophysics.

Pg 106, Sc 202 and elsewhere — DOWNTOWN METROPOLIS: We assume that the point of this and Sc 235 on Pg 118 is to
portray (via CGI) the heroic sacrifices of fighter pilots to divert the Kryptonians from the C-17, because the destructive
capability of the Kryptonians has already amply been demonstrated. If so, these must all be Air Force fighter aircraft, F-
35 or otherwise.

Pg 126, Sc 255 — EXT NORTHCOM OPS CENTER — AIRFIELD. While we’re not thrilled with the portrayal of the US military
relentlessly spying on Superman, we can live with this scene, provided that:

- Superman describes the drone as "one of your spy camera drones,” to make it clear that it is not armed;

- Superman left it somewhere in the U.S., not the Maldives, to maintain the “violating U.S. airspace” concept;

— The whole general’s hat business is replaced by something that doesn’t appear to trivialize him. While the
following alternative is admittedly a corny cliché, it would show more of a meeting of minds and the beginning of
a
relationship if Superman concluded his comment "...you hadn’t earned my respect. You have now,” by extending his
hand to offer a handshake, and the General, after a pause, takes it warmly and says something grudgingly, like “OK,
that’s good enough for now."

- Major Herrera teasing the General about his hat would of course be obviated if the hat gag routine was
replaced. Perhaps the two could merely exchange resigned or rueful or bemused looks.

I'd like to be able to email this with your revisions to Lisa NLT COB Tuesday.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Best,

(b) (6)
We recognize and appreciate the many changes that have already been made, but we need to fully
resolve the concerns below before going ahead with finalizing equipment and locations, and also
providing input for realistic radio-transmission dialogue, tactical orders, military ranks, etc,

Pg 32, INT. NORTHCOM SCIENCE STATION — Morrow must identify himself as being affiliated with a
legitimate military command, as Hamilton now does, he would have no reason to conceal it. And that
command should probably be ”the U5. Northern Command.” Lois can still challenge him later about the
NSA, though we don’t know why she’d think they’d be from a DoD agency that focuses on electronic and
signals intelligence gathering.

Note for Paco: I think that NSAT as an acronym is just as suggestive of being fake and as spoken is too
long.

Note for Paco: I think we can give them the actual name of the NORAD/NORTHCOM ops center
with
our other more technical input later, if they make these changes.

Pg 63, DAILY PLANET—There must be no ”Tier 1 Operatives” or any other special operators/SWAT
police, etc. Only a few (no ”army of”) FBI agents in suits. And they must not be ”storming through the
cubicles” as if they’re conducting a drug bust in a thuggish way. The Planet staff are hardly posing a
security threat, and there would be no reason to be heavy-handed at all. Morrow has no authority at
all, and shouldn’t cite any. Please change his line to Perry to something like ”I’m Colonel John Morrow,
as Ms. Lane knows. I’ve been tasked by the national command authority to accompany her to Northern
Command headquarters.”

- Also, in response to Perry’s line to Morrow about the limits of his authority, an FBI agent,
not Morrow, must reply with something like ”You’re right, Sir. But we can. FBI.” He should
hold out his badge,no one must produce handcuffs. Lois isn’t showing any signs of needing
to be restrained.

Pg 67, SWANWICK’S OFFICE — Swanwick, Hamilton, and Morrow’s clumsy and ineffective attempts
at
intimidation must be sigificantly reduced. They have no authority and no training in interrogation,
and
wouldn’t be doing anything of the kind. Also, there need be no other people in that office, certainly no
"quartet of AIRMEN," since Lois is not posing any security threat. We recognize that in direction
they
can be more earnestly frustrated with her than threatening. To further support that portrayal:

~ Please change Morrow’s line to "The FBI has your hard drive And ”You might as well
explain things to us."

- Please give Swanwick Hamilton’s questions, and give Hamilton Swanwick’s line about
treason. Lois can accuse the group, rather than singling out Swanwick in her response.

Note to Paco: We negotiated the following line down from the original, which was an order to drop
the big one.
GENERAL SWANWICK

Only the unthinkable one. Code words have already been issued.

Note to Paco: I think we can ask what's CGI and what’s not later on if they make these changes.

Pg 102, Sc 193 — NORTHCOM OPS CENTER -— EXT AIRFIELD: Please give Swanwick Hamilton’s line about
the ”singularity.” We don’t want Hamilton to be the only one with some knowledge ofastrophysics.

Pg 106, Sc 202 and elsewhere - DOWNTOWN METROPOLIS: We assume that the point of this and
Sc
235 on Pg 118 is to portray (via CGI) the heroic sacrifices of fighter pilots to divert the Kryptonians from
the C-17, because the destructive capability of the Krytonians has already amply been demonstrated.
If
so, these must all be Air Force fighter aircraft, F-35 or otherwise.

Pg 126, Sc 255 — EXT NORTHCOM OPS CENTER — AIRFIELD. While we’re not thrilled with the portrayal
of
the US military relentlessly spying on Superman, we can live with this scene, provided that:

Superman describes the drone as ”one of your spy camera drones," to make it clear that it is
not armed;

Superman left it somewhere in the US, not the Maldives, to maintain the ”violating U.S.
airspace” concept;

The whole general's hat business is replaced by something that doesn’t appear to trivialize
him. While the following alternative is admittedly a corny cliché, it would show more of a
meeting of minds and the beginning of a relationship if Superman concluded his comment
"...you hadn’t earned my respect. You have now,” by extending his hand to offer a
handshake, and the General, after a pause, takes it warmly and says something grudgingly,
like "OK, that’s good enough for now."

Major Herrera teasing the General about his hat would of course be obviated if the hat gag
routine was replaced. Perhaps the two could merely exchange resigned or rueful or
bemused looks.

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