You are on page 1of 4

Q: Uh, just go ahead, round two, uh, just tell me a little bit about yourself.

INTERVIEWEE #3: Well, I'm 17, I go to [], [], I'm on the crew team there, I have three half-
siblings and four step-siblings.
Q: Awesome. Okay. And were your parents divorced or just separated?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Just separated.
Q: About how old were you when that happened?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Uh, I wanna say, uh, under two.
Q: From what you can, from what your family has told you at all and from what you've heard,
what was family life like? Like before they separated.
INTERVIEWEE #3: Um, from what I heard, it was okay, but the issue was my dad liked money,
that was all he cared about, more than, like feelings.
Q: Can you elaborate on that a little bit?
INTERVIEWEE #3: My dad treated my mom more like a roommate than a girlfriend slash
Q: Who initiated the divorce, if you know?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Uh, I mean it wasn't a divorce.
Q: Oh, sorry, sorry. Separation.
INTERVIEWEE #3: Um, I think my mom did. It could have been mutual. I don't know. I'm pretty
sure it was my mom though.
Q: Just kind of describe for me the circumstances of your life, and your sibling's life as far as,
uh, your living situation, visitation schedules, etcetera.
INTERVIEWEE #3: Well, I have two younger half siblings who I live with. They are my stepdad
and my mom's kids. And then I have an older half brother who was the result of my dad, and uh,
another girl before my mom and my four step siblings are after my dad married. So, uh, I used
to see my dad every other weekend. My mom never really went to court so it was no big deal,
but my older brother and my dad never really got along so I'm pretty sure it was stressful on
him, but I mean I sorta not really thought anything was wrong with it.
Q: Gotcha. Um, okay. Can you kind of describe how you felt when you reflected on the fact that
you are from a family that's quote unquote 'different' from other families and the average family,
INTERVIEWEE #3: Uh, [inaudible]
Q: Wait, what did you say?
INTERVIEWEE #3: A little sad.
Q: Oh! [laughter] I thought you said a little fat.
INTERVIEWEE #3: [laughter] No!
Q: [laughter] Um, all right. Okay. Um, and why did you feel sad?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I think what makes me sad is the fact that I won't know what it's like to have
both parents in the same house. So, yeah.
Q: So just kind of missing out on and what that was like?
Q: And you mentioned that you had some visitation with your dad. Were there any kind of
difficulties, significant difficulties that you can remember as far as keeping up with it or how you
INTERVIEWEE #3: I mean as I got older, it sort of fell on me more to go and see him. I guess it
just wasn't really ingrained in my habits to go to go and see him every other weekend.
So like I didn't really care all that much. Like I thought it was more of like, his, like he was the
one who had to do it and I don't think he was that motivated to.
Q: Were you-- How close were you with your dad? Like compared to your other siblings?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Compared to my older brother, he's my dad's other kid, all the stepsiblings
didn't really care. But older brother, he's the bad ones compared to me.
Q: [laughter] That's funny.
INTERVIEWEE #3: I mean it worked out for him and because he always got more attention. I'm
pretty sure that's why he did it more. So I mean he got a lot more attention than I ever got from
my dad. Which pissed my mom off. My dad's more like a friend I would say, rather than a dad.
Q: Yeah. So between, between your stepfather and your biological father, do you feel that either
one was more or less of a father figure or did you feel like you didn't really have one at all?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I don't really feel like I had one at all 'cause like... I didn't want to look up to
my stepdad. I didn't like who he was. I was a little kid so, I didn't like who he was all that much.
And then my dad, he was just never there enough.
Q: Hmm. So as far as the divorce and the circumstances, um, with your stepfather, your step
siblings, how do you think that's kind of impacted your school performance and your ability to
participate in extracurriculars?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Uh, school-wise, that specifically never really had an effect, except for the
fact that noone could help me with homework, which was fine. Just let me figure it out myself.
But then extra, extracurricular-wise it was um, [inaudible] 'cause I was on the soccer team from
elementary school, all the way to 10th grade, through 10th grade and it was rough on my mom
'cause she had to work in the evening. That's when my practices were and then games were
early in the morning on Saturdays. So, um, my stepdad had to pick me up a lot and it was
always stressful for them cause sometimes she'd get home from work late too. And then my dad
picked me up a few times but not all that much.
Q: Did you feel like, you know, you...this is kind of an off the wall question but do you feel like
because you had to, you know, 'cause your parents have these conflicting work schedules and
everything, um, the extracurriculars areas were kind of like a burden or more difficult persay
than it would be with an intact family?
Q: Do you think that's like specifically because of the divorce or maybe it was just the
INTERVIEWEE #3: Just the circumstances cause my dad and my stepdad are are both like, my
stepdad's in construction work and my dad works on Hvac stuff. So like they both worked
throughout the day until like...and my dad works 'till like five and he works out in like,
Chesapeake, Norfolk. He goes all around and then my stepdad moves around for when they're
building stuff. So sometimes they'll get there early and sometimes they get there late.
Q: Yeah. And can you describe any challenges, if there were any with your uh, your financial
INTERVIEWEE #3: Um, well my stepdad and my mom combined make under $30,000 a year
so that's kind of rough. But my dad pays [inaudible] in child support a month. So I mean if there
was just me, it wouldn't be that bad. But I also have two half-siblings so it makes it a little bit
more difficult.
Q: Did your dad help support through a court order? Or was it just kind of...
INTERVIEWEE #3: It was just kind of an agreement.
Q: And um at any point did your parents, whether it was intentionally or unintentionally kind of
influenced your perspective of the other parents?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I mean, not really, they like each other now.
Q: Yeah. Well as you and your siblings were growing up, was it kind of like a cordial friendship
or relationship or did they have, you know, kind of an awkward or tense relationship?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Uh, my two younger siblings that I live with, we're pretty close and my older
sibling, my older brother's, he was mean to me. I think he was just mad because I was always
nice and he always got mad cause all my, all our aunts and like our grandma on our granddad
liked me because I was the nice one and then he'd just do mean [expletive] for attention.
Q: I feel that. My older brother was the exact same way, but that's a whole 'nother interview.
Um, okay. So do you in particular blame either parent for the outcome of their separation?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I don't want to blame a specific one, but if I had to, I'd probably blame my
dad for it.
Q: Is that for the reasons that you mentioned earlier?
Q: Gotcha. And um, do you feel like your parents' separation and maybe their second marriages
and whatnot has had an impact on your own outlook towards love and companionship?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I never really thought about that. Um, not really. I sorta, I like to just find the
one and just stick with it and go from there...
Q: And do you see yourself--Oh, sorry, go ahead.
INTERVIEWEE #3: No, no, no. I don't even know what I was going to say.
Q: Okay. Um, do you see yourself growing up, getting married, having, you know, the whole
white picket fence, nuclear family kind of deal?
INTERVIEWEE #3: That's the goal.
Q: Is that decision at all impacted by your parents' relationship?
INTERVIEWEE #3: It could be or could just be... that's just what I want.
Q: Yeah. Okay. And uh, do you find that at all you can to socialize more with or tend to gravitate
towards people who've also had some kind of separation or disruption in their background?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I didn't think about it until you asked that question... Because I was putting it
all together and you know, best friend, parents divorced, girlfriend, parents divorced, like all my
closest friends have split-up parents. So, hmm. I never thought about it, but yeah.
Q: Can you kind of like reflect on that a little, do you think there's any one kind of uniting factor
or do you think it's just because you guys have that in common?
INTERVIEWEE #3: We're all sort of more independent I want to say cause like you don't have
the ability to rely on like two parents. Like it's like you rely on one and they're not always going
to be able to do it. Not that they don't want to, but they aren't always able to so you sorta have
to find out how to do it for yourself. Like anything.
Q: Do you think that's kind of made you mature?
INTERVIEWEE #3: I hope so.
Q: Okay. Um, how do you think things would be different? Just hypothetically if your parents had
stayed together instead of separating?
INTERVIEWEE #3: See, that's a hard question. I, I wouldn't know about my younger siblings so
it probably wouldn't affect me. But if I still had the memory from my parents were split up and
then my siblings were gone, I'd probably be really upset. So if they were still together, I don't
know how different things would really be or if they would be any better or worse. I just leave it
how it is.
Q: Do you like the effects of separation and divorce properly addressed in today's society?
INTERVIEWEE #3: No, it's like so easy to get together and get divorced. But like, I dunno,
people don't push for trying to work through their problems. They just give up.
Q: Do you think that's for any particular reason? Like it's maybe like a generational thing or is it
just something like...
Q: Um, what's your vision of kind of like the average family that exists in the United States
INTERVIEWEE #3: In the US today I'm pretty sure the majority of people have parents split up.
Even though that's not how I'd like it to be. Like, I wish that they would stay together that it could
be like a more healthy environment.
Q: Um, do you have any other kind of reflections, um, about how divorce is gonna affect you
moving forward?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Avoid it.
Q: All right. So that's kind of your goal in life-- well not in life, but just to not divorce--
INTERVIEWEE #3: Like relationship-wise, yeah.
Q: Yeah. Is it for the sake of you or maybe your future family or just in general?
INTERVIEWEE #3: In general.
Q: Hm. All right.
INTERVIEWEE #3: Do you have anything, anything else or getting other kinds of thoughts or
emotions or anything you'd like to share?
INTERVIEWEE #3: Uh, no... I think I'm good.