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socks that had the lacy frills around the ankles seeping toes and smear makeup over our faces as we watched Disney movies and dreamed that one day our prince would come and we would be whisked away on a white carriage into the night sky.
For most little girls that doesn’t come true, for me, I get to pretend that that is my life every day and have for the past 3 years.
After I realized that college was going to be a waste of time spending years at a university close enough to home that my father would ask me to do beer runs and cook dinner every weekend. Always enough to last the entire week. I decided if I wasn’t going to have a fairytale of my own then I might as well pretend to be in one. That’s how I found myself at a open call which lead me to where I stand now, three years later, countless numbers of little girls dressing in costumes similar to the one I changed between on a daily basis, and 1300 miles away from home.
My name is Bella Swan, and I am a Disney Princess…
I say I’m a Disney a princess but my life is far from the ones or glass slippers and enchanted roses. I go to work, I see all these happy couples and families and then I go home to the complex where I spend my nights drinking wine, reading fantasy romance novels on my kindle and dreaming of finding my own prince charming and happily ever after, or maybe even my happy ever this moment. To be honest, my job made me bitter and jaded when it came to finding someone who could remotely understand my views on love and its stark comparison to my glass slipperd day job. I sat in my room at my desk looking at the photos of me in the girls before the Halloween Parade, right after I turned 22. All of us in our respective princess alter egos with cheesy grins plastered on our face, not being able to reflect the pure exhaustion we were trying to cover up with sparkles and good makeup. But the memories were making me sad and lonely. That was the night we celebrated Bree’s engagement to Riley, our own Ariel and Prince Eric were getting married and we celebrated in true Disney fashion.
Here I was 25, single, with a decent enough job, my online degree in graphic design, not a whole lot of baggage and not horrible looking. What was I doing wrong? Maybe Bree was right, if I wasn’t such a hermit then I would be having a dating life that consisted more than the creeps on some online dating site my aunt set me up on because I’m just “ too pretty and sweet of a girl to be single”. Well you know what Auntie, I’m still single and the only people on the dating site you set me up on are just some creepers looking for action and all of them claim to be a actor and the next big thing…. Yea ok. I booted up my laptop, check my emails, loaded a few new books onto the kindle and send a email to my father explaining exact details on hot to make the meatloaf he likes, for the twelfth time because he cant remember where he put the last copy of the recipe. For a police office, her could loose things a bit to easily. I checked my planner for my hours for the rest of the week remembering I was going out with Sihoben, Elizabeth and Victoria on Friday, since apparently the last time I went out was then the first Harry Potter came out on dvd. That was a lie, it was when the 4th one came out… I remember because that was the last date I went on. I made a promise to myself on my last birthday that I would go out on at least 2 dates in the next year, so far it has been 5 months and no dates. I feel like the little old lady who lives in the shoe. But without cats, instead it’s a smut filled kindle. I don’t know what I would do without my kindle, I take it everywhere, read it on my lunch break, while I should be getting ready in the morning, on Friday and Saturday nights when I should be going out with the rest of the girls who were on the man hunt, even if for the majority of them it was just to look. My kindle was my boyfriend honestly. I named him Jake and we curl up on the big chair in my living room with a good glass of box wine and read through adventures of red heads and brits, DEA’s with a sexy streak, people with fetishes for the 80s and sexy MMA fighters. God did Jake know how to work me over with his words.
So as I fell asleep yet again on the chair with Jake keeping me warm like a huge angora sweater in the cold weather, I dreamt of him, my personal Disney prince. A dash of Patrick Dempsey’s good looks, the beasts love for books, peter pan’s childhood like personality but the regality of prince Eric. He would never exist in real life, hence why the only time I can see him was in my dreams.
By the time Friday had rolled around I spent the entire week as Aurora and was starting to wish that I could just sleep like her for a few days and skip over the whole going out and trying to find me a guy plan my friend had in place.
I walked into the bar in my usually “I’m not really trying but yea I know I have a good body but don’t try anything because your not getting any” kind of a out fit, or in Bree terms, a top from forever 21 that only I could make good, jeans that looked painted on and heels that beg to be digging into a guys ass. Yea these shoes could use to see more action, but then again any time you pay $700 for shoes, your fucking cautions to put them on the in the first place let alone be wrapping around some random guys waist, digging into his ass that your using just to make the desire of a orgasm go away. But I could use something to make the orgasms go away, Jake and Roberto, my sparkly.. um.. helper… could only do so much. I did want a guy but at this point in my life I’m not looking for some yummy actor wannabe who just wants a warm body, I want a big spoon to my little spoon, the peanut butter to my nutella, I wanted someone one, but the bars and clubs were finding me no one of that caliber, or at least I didn’t notice any of them that did, and they sure as hell didn’t notice me.
After coming home a bit tipsy and defeted I turned on jake as he proceded to turn me on with a new chapter from some of the smuttiest ladies on earth, honestly who thinks of this shit? after about 3 hours of reading various hot and heavy chapters i fell asleep in bed with no dreams of my prince charming, just quite nothings and the possability of a wicked hangover in the morning. I spent my sunday moring doing my usual trip to the farmers market, cleaning the apartment and spending a few hours online sifting through more guys who are apperntly clinging onto dating sites as their last hopes of finding a girl to take home to mom, oh joy. Monday rolled around and I work up at the ungodly hour of 6:15 to shower and get to work on time. As I walked into the locker room to grab my outift for the day i noticed the empty locker next to mine. Usually Matt was there before me, but now i noticed how empty his locker was. There were dust lines from where photos use to hand of his old college sweatheart, his family back in Madison, and the ultra sound of his first niece who was due later this year. He was gone, the dust he only trace that locker 43 was lived in for the past 3 years. With no time to dwell on the sadness of my locker neighbor leaving, I was changing into my typical undergarments for Snow White. Matt was usually my prince charming but today Brad would be filling in. As much as Brad was great to have around, the countless number of times that he had made a pass at me had put me off from ever working with him, and Eleine the casting supervisor was well of aware of this. By the time the first shift of characters were due to come out, my attendent for the day Arianna was walking over to me. I loved working with Arianna. She was doing the college program and was here for an entire year, working both as an attendent for the princesses and a character her self. She was litteraly 2 inches to short to be Tinkerbell but her Minnie Mouse stook so tall you though a Victoria Secret model was wearing the furry suit. She walked me out to the spot where I would be stationed for the meet and greets for a while, we talked about her recent engagement to her rocker boyfriend Ryan, her impending degree in communications and applying for numerious jobs. When we got to the entrance of the Disney Princess Fantasy Fair and i was met by a group for about 12 little girls, some of their little brothers and their parents.I signed autographs and took photos. then as I turned around to fan myself quickly i was tapped on the sholder. There stood a guy, no a man. He was taller than me, a little tan wearing khaki board shorts, a blue button down shirt sleve shirt and keds. I was a
sucker for a guy who still wore keds. i felt my breath hitch as i looked into his eyes. the color was pulling me in to the dark and wooded jungle behind the hunter and amber speckeled tunnles. He brough my hand up to his lips to kiss then asked to take my picture. my cheeks instantily started to blush. there were a few other adults, if you wanted to call them adults, who were giggling, taking videos or photos and a few girls who were holding onto who I believed to be their signifigant others. we stood there for what seemed like a hour, never losing eye contact. our chests were in sync with eachoter as my breather becames more labored, the combonation of the corset the heat and man who has his soft hand and long fingers on the small of my back, i was becoming overwhelmed. As arianna was whisking me away I felt the similar tap on my sholder. "I know you have to stay in character, but please call me. Ill see you soon my princess." He brought his hand to mine and kissed it again. He then ran away back to who I assumed to be his friends. I felt a peice of paper in my hand and Arianna quickly whisked me away to the locker room. There weren't such things as real prince charmings... were there?
The rest of the day seemed to pass by in a haze. I barley looked at the piece of paper and just threw it into my wallet as soon as I got back into the locker room. This was something straight out of the twilight zone. Who the hell gets to say though that they were hit on while portraying a Disney character. Definitely a story to tell the kids. Kids? I was thinking kids? O.K something was seriously up and a touch and a glance into some strangers eyes, no matter how drawing and beautiful they were, we making me think of kids.