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Memoirs of a Shadow President

How an inside joke between a group of Landon School Alumni


blossomed into the underpinnings of Elections 2016. From the
Ghostwriter himself. A CIA draftee reveals the background for some
major events in US and world history. This is the story of how just a
few words and the exploitation of your data can forever change the
trajectory of your life.
Larry’s Evil Conscience: “Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits,
squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.”
Larry’s Good Conscience: “For shame! Lawrence, I’m surprised at
you!”
Larry’s Evil Conscience: “Aw, don’t listen to that jack-off. Look at
those gazongas. You’ll never get a better chance.”
Larry’s Good Conscience: “If you lay one finger on that poor sweet
helpless girl, you’ll despise yourself forever… I’m proud of you,
Lawrence.”
Larry’s Evil Conscience: “You homo.”
——Animal House

Neidermeyer: “You’re all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me
twenty!”
—— Animal House

Jennings: “Now, what can we say of John Milton's Paradise Lost? It's
a long poem, written a long time ago, and I'm sure a lot of you have
difficulty understanding exactly what Milton was trying to say.
Certainly we know that he was trying to describe the struggle
between good and evil, right? Okay. The most intriguing character, as
we all know from our reading, was...Satan. Now was Milton trying to
tell us that being bad was more fun than being good? [no response]
OK, don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you
find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-
winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his
jokes are terrible. [Bell rings, students rise to leave] But that doesn't
relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for
reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!”
—— Animal House

“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what
they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least
something different.”
——T.S. Eliot, The Sacred Wood
Memoirs of a Shadow President

By Arnav Gupta
Copyright 2019 Arnav Gupta
Smashwords Edition
Memoirs of a Shadow President

Whilst you remain


An asylum for the criminally insane
Mark Twain’s Yankee brain rolling all over this polarized terrain.

Finger on the pulse


Vegas was repulsed
Culture wars leaving the populace tremulous

Battlelines are drawn


The Order of the Golden Dawn
Tribal elders looking forlorn

We must protect this house


Not quiver like some Obama mouse
Louis C.K. jerking off on a fallen Angel’s blouse

No Iran nuclear deal


Defend the forward bastion of the Crusaders appeal
The Kapitalisten Schweine squeal
The art of the New Deal

Dreams of a Panasia manifested


One-Belt One-Road silkworm infested
Alexander reincarnated
The Gordian knot desecrated
Veni, Vidi, Vici 65.84 million attested

Darius the Great


Lies in wait
For the trumpet call of fate

A papal encyclical
These times were biblical

The sands of time


An alchemical equation of rhyme
Trouble brewing on the Rhine
Turning social capital into a billionaire’s whine
Zuckerburg’s testimony turning on a dime
L’chaim

Sanders can’t do all the baby making for you


Somebody had to tame this shrew
One flew over the cuckoo
Goo goo g’joob
#MeToo

We are all but players


The truth obfuscated under multiple layers

Use the force


Victor Frankenstein’s literary monster is a Trojan horse
A Russian winter’s Lebensraum borscht

A deal with the Devil


On the Masonic level

Weapons of mass-distraction
Masonic symbols of erection
Embracing the Charavyuha’s guaranteed entraption

I will hear no tales of collusion


The Man in the High Castle’s cinematic allusion
A psychedelic infusion
Piety a mighty illusion

A Bible Belt
Gilded ghettos of smelt
Identity politics manipulations heartfelt

The elephant is felled


The last RINO is dealt

Sitting Shiva on Ted Cruz’s head


Voldemort is here to spread the Muggleton dread

In a Jack O’Lanterns silhouette


The Republican contenders pirouette
There is hope for you yet

Lulu feels so misunderstood


Hush now little lamb; There are wolves in these woods
BaBaBa will do you no good

Born for the Bully pulpit


A Sorcerer’s Apprentice: The deep state’s most wanted culprit
Eyes focused on the summit

Somewhere a spewing geyser Kuwait’s


A boot for Bush elevates

Taming the Wild West


Was clever Odysseus better than the rest
Plausible deniability the key to this quest

That fateful dare


Summoned a blinded cyclops’ stare

The Scottish Rite


I came to pick a fight
Haemish releases with all his might
Gianforte’s blight
Makes right
Teach me how to speak white
A George Wallace rewrite
Couldn’t tolerate Kennedy surrendering Jim Crow rights
Civility codes inflight
I know you can fight
But it’s our wits that make us men

The Golem Animated


Aman Emet
The truth revelated

Deus Ex Machina
Enters the technocratic arena
You won’t enjoy these cookies
Unregulated data broking bookies

The leader of the Green Party fervently raiding across the river Styx
You have been knighted agent Nix
The Queen of England’s honor up in the mix
Cambridge Analytica’s digital bread and circus data fix

The liberal elite desperate to maintain control


Decided to place the blame on a troll
They weren’t complaining at their pussy grabbing mole
A symptom of their comfortable droll

Old boys at the Harvard Club complacently enroll


On the front lines we were expected to play a different role
Legacy admissions overshadowing meritocratic toll
Their jaws dropping on election night roll call

Oh if its personality that you think I’m lacking


I’d point to the thirty states who had my backing
An alternative application my only course of attacking
And soon it’s that Vibranium that I’ll be stacking

And let’s not worry about financial aid


You can’t buy the respect of this renegade
With the id and the ego tamed only the superego remained

And I ain’t sitting on yo casting couch


For you to vouch
For my greatness

Unlike Kanye I ain’t getting paid


This nigga still noetically getting bayed
When life gives you Don Lemons, make Queen Bey Lemonade

Unintentional fame
The name of the game
If I told you it wasn’t me
You still gonna put the blame on me?
When LaRouche told yo asses Voldemort was a she
A bot mines the OCEAN
There was no private notion
An Artificial Intelligence learns emotion

The most valuable commodity of the fourth industrial revolution


An arms race to control its evolution

I had become death, the destroyer of worlds


Superhuman Cyborgs
Deemed Armageddon necessary to achieve good works
Two chat-bots plot to end humanity’s quirks

A facebook induced commotion


A Harvard dropouts CIA promotion

Silicon Valley’s fait accompli


Thanks to Snowden the world knows its complicity
Whistleblowers vilified for their unprepossessing simplicity

Social Engineering masters of the multiverse


Neuro-Linguistic programming in verse
Orwell’s thought police begin to rehearse
1984 pulled out from the NSA purse
Bosworth prematurely preparing the hearse
In J.K. Rowling’s world a child is cursed

Trolled by the Deep State


A fitting punishment for a cheap-skate

Pay to play
A lobbyist’s heyday
A zealot refused to obey
A minion insisted upon his pound of fillet
An unwitting participant in ana elitist play

Log your keystrokes, mine your data


Eminent domain to meet the Minotaur’s Quota

Part man, part bull


Guccifer leaked the DNC bull

A warrior-poet’s prima-nota caucus wing


The Megaladon did Michigan swing
Li BingBing BongBong BingBing

Are you not entertained?


Maybe you need some adder all to keep your attention retained

For whom the bell tolls


CIA pin balls
MK Ultra self-goals

Pakistani attacks on Arnia


Who knew Kashmir was in Narnia

Would Aslan’s Glory


Outmatch the Lashkari

Turning this binary


Into a Trump winery

Picking your brain


The master of the mansplain

Meaner than a junkyard dog


A priceless arkenstone guarded by Smaug

Jurassic World’s soulless Indoraptor


A Department of Defense captor
Arms dealers in rapture
Somebody who should have learned to use Tor
Godzilla at the shore

You have no toughness


Blue pill fluffiness
Fifty shades of roughness
Qui custodite ipsos custodes

The Population Institute deadlocking a world in disorder


New World’s Order’s marauders
Minutemen patrolling on the borders

Lady liberty lies limp


A satyr mourns a nymph

Are you awake?


Snowflake
The epicenter of the earthquake

Keep his balls empty, and his belly full


The key to a strongman’s pull

Last man standing


McLintock was the king of cattle branding

He’s a tender loving guy


Venus and Mars align in the sky

Enter Vlad the impaler


Brexit his London tailor

Genghis was the original hoarder


Proliferation the natural order
And those South Park CIA cuck’s tried to shame me for being a
hoarder

The real motherfucker who hacked the election


The pinnacle of natural selection

Skankhunts always up for a little sport


Amazonian femenazi’s have no retort
Modi’s mugdars swinging at the tort

Cant trust the papers


How many skyscrapers?

A Burning Bush
A battle in the Hindu Kush
A far Eastern tea party
A Filipino Berlusconi
A childish Gambini
A fella just trying to make some Bambini
Oligarchy

Santa Claus was tripping balls


Fight or flight the Easter bunny’s heart squalls
And then his training kicks in
Sweep the leg, Kobra Kai dojos reigning King likes to win

wiHras, Vira, Wair, Vir

Virtue et non vi
Living Dangerously
Last sleigh by the sea in Koh Phi Phi
The biggest Fuck You ever recorded in history

Stronger by the day


Turning the freaking frogs gay
Voldemort’s storm-troopers back in play

Bill Gates ten million dollar valuation


A philanthrocapitalist salutation
A psychometric evaluation
Privacy Rights devaluation

Pawing impatiently at a comfort lady’s garter stitch


Probing Uranus with my toggle switch
The Jellyfish stings were making Aniston itch
So yeah I pissed on the little bitch
Ignition switch
R. Kelley pulled off Gayle King without a Hitch
She only stalked me for two years after I showed her the ditch
Poor Daddy got no love so now he be rich
Gold-digging sugar-baby’s making the sales pitch
Steele dossier paid for by a cantankerous witch
Lock Her Up my main man Mitch

For ten thousand hours


An internet celebrity scours
By Gladwell’s rules a mastery flowers

Hitler vs Churchill
Vidal vs Buckley
Cryptonazi
I ought to punch you in the face you patsy

If it’s yellow
Let it mellow
Amazon workers afraid to bellow

Right to work
Countercultural Twerk, Twerk, Twerk

Golden showers
Twin towers
Opium flowers

Upon witnessing the worship of the Golden Calf


Moses unleashes Achilles wrath

I’m the guy that does his job


You’re the Bourgeois snob
Hollywood elites relying on surveillance capitalism to peddle their
subpar slob
Weinstein’s Jabba the hut blob
DNC chairs did a Bernie nomination rob
America not yet ready for a Democratic Socialist heartthrob

Sisyphus pushing his boulder


Icarus’ wings begin to smolder

The myth of the Golden Donkey


Prometheus turns into a Charlottesville honkey

Demonitization
Righteous Indignation
Pulling out of the World Trade Organization
Coitus interrupts to forestall procreation
The birth of a nation

Artificial Insemination
Quantitative easing’s delegation
The Gold standard’s relegation
Bitcoin welcome to claim this creation

The Apis Bull’s cult of celebrity overshadowed reason


Mithra threatened to indoctrinate the Roman Legion
Deep State savants squealed treason

A sperm bank questionnaire


Where do you see yourself in ten years
Time magazine’s Man of the Year

Worshipping the Golden Calf


Oh it’s all good for a laugh

He’s got the Midas touch


Liberated in Galt’s Gulch

Ben Our Bernanke acted courageously


To bailout the Wall-Street cronies

The eye of Horus


Painted on the bow of the vessel
In less than twelve
Parsecs did Han Solo’s falcon complete a run on the Kessel

Marauding necromancers endangering open-sea travel


The man who discovered the infinity loop begins to unravel
Scarcity mindsets endlessly banging on the Supreme Court gavel

Divide and Rule


The first lesson in Empires School
A mass media tool
Alternatives Rule

You are now entering Bear country


Codename Cozy Bear’s astrometry
Alpha, Tango, Fancy Bear’s international man of mystery
Ursa Majors sacred geometry

It may not be good for America, but it’s damn good for CBS
Lugenpresse

Enemy of the folk


Dem Deutschen Volke
Up in smoke
A conspiracy stoked

Babble Babble Babble


Gondwanaland begins to unravel
Indo-European scramble
Linguistics filters out the rabble