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RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT
We are defining our relationship as a(n): (Insert Definition). At the expiration of this
agreement, we may choose to reconfirm or renegotiate our agreement. Or we may choose
not to continue our relationship and to part from each other peacefully, respectfully, and as
whole and free persons. 


(Name)

(Name) 



Dated:        , 


I freely enter into this “contract”, choosing to live in the NOW with you and remaining
open-hearted to future expansion of our family. We know nothing is guaranteed and
"happily ever after" exists only in fairy tales. Love and relationships take conscious,
consistent effort to maintain and to flourish. The basis of this relationship is a mutual
agreement that both parties are happier being together than not being together. This
relationship is founded on honesty. The truth may not always be pleasant, but if the truth is
so unacceptable that it cannot be shared, there are more significant problems in the
relationship.
I am free to make commitments and I accept responsibility for my actions. My freedom
comes from the personal expression of my own power. No one can take away my power to
be my self. I choose to help empower you, not to own you nor possess you. I choose to
love, honour, and respect you.
I will be as truthful and reliable as I can be. I will not agree to do things with you unless I
truly want to, yet I will be respectful of, and sensitive to, your needs and feelings. When I
want something from you, I will ask clearly, not hint or expect you to read my mind. I will
not create expectations in my head concerning you or your actions then blame you for
their unfulfilment. I will share my love, joy, and caring with you.
I will never use your words against you nor divulge your private thoughts and actions to
others without your consent. I will communicate to you what "privacy" means to me, and I
will accept your definition of "privacy" for you. Any actions or words that relate to
something the two of us said or did together should be considered private unless we have
discussed it and agreed to reveal our actions or thoughts to others.
I will care for you when you are sick or hurt even if it means you want me to do nothing at
all for you. I will respect that, in most instances, you know what is best for you, and what
you need from me. However, I will not let you purposefully hurt or destroy yourself without
attempting to persuade you otherwise (abuse of substances or self harm). You may count
on me for strength and emotional support when you are down and I expect the same of
you. This can be at the same time we do not need to take turns to be emotional.
We are separate and unique individuals who choose to enrich and cherish each other.
Ultimately, though, only I can choose to be happy or not, fulfilled or not. I am equal to you,
not more nor less. I will not compete with you and play "I win, you lose" games. I will enjoy
your different qualities and work towards "win-win" situations. I feel proud of you and will
not take you for granted. I will accept you as you are and not try to change those aspects
of yourself I am uncomfortable with. I will endeavour to keep my mind open and my
boundaries flexible. I will support your growth processes. I will not attack you in public or
private when something occurs that I don't like. I will instead accept it as a part of who you
are and rationally discuss it with you in private in order to more fully understand who you
are. I will remember your love and constancy and communicate this to you. I will not judge
you against my past relationships, good or bad. Nor will I hold on to issues or grudges. I
will enjoy sharing hopes, dreams, and plans for the future with you now.
Our time together has a high priority in my life. I value our time and will make conscious
efforts to ensure we have as much time for each other as we need. I also recognise that we
need separate and alone time, too. I will respect your right to be apart from me, and I
expect you to respect my right to have alone time also. I have friends and interests that are
not in common with you; you also have friends and interests not in common with me. I will
not be possessive or jealous of your time away from me, recognising that the fulfilment and
joy you receive benefits me as well. I will be open to uncommon experiences with you
though. Our careers are also important to us and I will be understanding when job
demands temporarily take a high priority in your life; I expect the same from you.
When problems occur, I will work with you to resolve them as soon as possible. When I am
upset or conflicted, I will try my utmost to centre myself, clarify my feelings, and determine
my issues before confronting you, or coming to you with them. Only then will I approach
you to discuss my issues. I will not make threats of breaking our commitments to each
other, leaving you, or asking you to leave, as a way to get my way or to manipulate you. I
will I will never intentionally physically harm you nor threaten to. I will not expect either of
us to be perfect. Occasionally I will get frustrated and stressed and disappointed, but I will
not reject you nor attempt to control your individuality. I accept that I will have times of
anger, sadness, fear, and pain and will want your emotional support. I will not feel you are
attacking me when you express frustrations or bad feelings, in a way that is centred and
calm. I will respect your need to process things and will ask before about your time/
feelings before coming to you with anything that may seem emotionally intense.
I use sexual intimacy as a way to express my love and inner self to you. I will not withhold
sex to punish you nor use sex to control you. I value our sexual intimacy and will be open
to your sexuality and need, as well as my own. I may not agree with every desire you have
and I will be open to new experiences. However, I will not do things I am uncomfortable
with, nor would I force you to do that which is uncomfortable for you. I will not be intimate
with another without having a discussion with you about it. This is not a persistent need,
but i do value sexual openness and encourage yours too. This does not diminish our
intimacy or my love of it, this is just a way of being open about our growth and curiosity.
Any and all sexual activities, should they happen, will have been discussed prior to them
happening for safety of all parties involved. If you feel threatened, I will show you my love
and reassure you and listen to you. However, I will not let you control my actions if you
have unreasonable fears or a need to have power over me.
I will be responsible for supporting myself, and I will share what I can with you to the best
of my abilities. I have personal property and I will respect and care for your personal
property, as well as our common property, as if it were my own. I would like us to make
these choices together as we will have a common space. I will make agreements with you
concerning mutual financial matters. I will not control you with money, nor will I be
controlled by your money. I also will consult with you before attempting to change our
place of residence, as this is important to make these decisions together.
I commit myself to growing and changing and creating a conscious future with you. I will
do my utmost to live up to the spirit of this agreement. We may revise or renegotiate this
document as we deem suitable, potentially on a yearly basis to make sure we are still on
the same path together or if we see need to add amendments.
             Dated:             ,

The following section is to be taken tongue and cheek but can outline certain expectations.
Please add any that you want represented. 

SECTION : Time

1. A minimum of one evening per week is to be dedicated to spending time


together (when co-habitating), with or without guests, as negotiable.
“Evening” begins at 6:05 PM.
1.1. Should one or more weeks pass without the ability to spend an
evening together, unused evenings will accrue and may be exercised
indefinitely in the future.
2. A minimum of one morning per week is to be dedicated to spending time together
in a leisurely manner. “Morning” ends at 12:01 PM.
2.1. Should one or more weeks pass without the ability to spend a
morning together, unused mornings will not accrue.
5.2.1.1 More than three consecutive weeks without opportunity to spend
a morning together will automatically “force” the Couple to take a
vacation together lasting a minimum of three days.
2.2. Spending leisurely mornings in matching pajamas is encouraged.

SECTION : Sex (lols)

1. Sexual relations, with the goal of mutual satisfaction, would ideally take place at
minimum three times per week excepting periods of illness, separation, and
conditions that prevent the enjoyment of sex.
2. Nicknames will not be given to genitalia.
3. Sexual relations will be conducted solely for pleasure with no intent of procreation for
this current contract period. revisions can be made accordingly.

4. Sexual fantasies, fetishes, and explorations will be encouraged. Whatever gets you
off should be encouraged.
5. Public Display of Affection (PDA) shall be limited to the following: a brief, friendly
kiss on the hand, cheek, lips; hand-holding; arms around waists/shoulders; a mostly
discrete pat on the butt; a hand on the knee; pinching; ; hugs; “footsie”; tasteful
making out in the case of drunkenness, darkness or anonymity
6. Pornography restrictions include:
a. Porn that is illegal as defined by US/UK law

SECTION : Vacation Policy

1. Each year the Couple will take at least one relaxing, sans pets vacation.
2. Jointly attended family vacations with shared accommodations shall not exceed 4
contiguous days of family exposure. Family vacations involving overseas travel and/or
separate accommodations shall not exceed 7 contiguous days of family exposure.

SECTION : Basics
1. If arrangements to be together are made, it is expected that each person will spend that
time together unless a very good reason comes up that it will not work out. Such
exceptions should be rare.
i. “Good reason” may include (but not be limited to) work
conflicts, medical emergencies, long distance family/friends become available
after arrangements are made (covered in next paragraph), important situation or
circumstance arises that is difficult or impossible to schedule for another time.
ii. “Good reason” should also be considered acceptable by both
partners affected by the cancellation/reschedule.
iii. However, even if both partners accept the “Good Reason”, it is
still reasonable for each or both partners to feel disappointment at the
cancellation/reschedule and should be allowed to feel this disappointment
without reprisal, embarrassment, shame, or punishment from the other partner
for having these feelings, as long as these feelings are not used in any form of
retaliation or passive- aggressive punishment for the cancellation/reschedule of
the event.

B. A reasonable amount of time is expected from each person to be given


to the other. Spending time together is a large part of what a relationship is.
When there is a long distance aspect, people who generally cannot spend time
together should usually take priority over those who can spend time more often.
Prior commitments should be avoided as much as possible during such times, to
avoid conflict with the above. In situations where conflict is unavoidable and the
time in question would not use up an unreasonable portion of the time together
with long-distance party, the activity should be adjusted to include both/all
relevant parties if at all possible. When not together in person, moderate levels
of communication should continue using other means.