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Table of Contents Chapter 1: How To Prepare Yourself Chapter 2: When Can You Say It’s Cheating? Chapter 3: Why You Should Know Chapter 4: Infidelity Quiz Chapter 5: Is There a Life After Infidelity? Chapter 6: Accidental Slip-Ups Chapter 7: Behavioral Changes Chapter 8: Unexplained Travel Chapter 9: Dirty Tricks Chapter 10: Looking For Signs Chapter 11: Following the Paper Trail Chapter 12: Masked Surveillance Chapter 13: Tips To Flush Your Partner Out Chapter 14: Liars Chapter 15: Detecting Lies Chapter 16: Secret Communication Chapter 17: Performing Reverse Cell Phone Lookups Chapter 18: Setting Up A Free Lie Detector on Your Partner’s Phone Chapter 19: Retrieving Deleted Text Messages Chapter 20: The Other Person Chapter 21: Finances Chapter 22: When Your Partner Leaves Chapter 23: Family and Friends Chapter 24: What To Do When Your Partner Leaves Chapter 25: The Aftermath - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER ONE: How To Prepare Yourself

You may be wondering whether or not your spouse is cheating on you and this thought might have been stuck in your mind for quite some time already. Like any other event in your life that appears traumatic, you know you have to prepare yourself for whatever it is you are going to find out. Upon finding out, you already know that you won’t be able to think clearly and respond logically.

But let’s get things organized first. Have you already schemed a way so you can prove that your spouse is really cheating on you?

Most people would confront their partner once they suspect cheating but you should resist the urge to do this. The wisest thing you can do is to plan out your moves and be strategic in your actions. Imagine what kind of response you would get if you would instantly accuse your spouse of cheating?

Obviously, your partner will deny your accusation if you don’t have any proof or your proof is just circumstantial. It is vital that you are able to prove that your spouse is indeed having an affair with another person or else you won’t be able to counter their denial. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Do not expose your suspicions and jeopardize your chances at catching him in the act of cheating by confronting your partner. What they would perceptibly do so they won’t get caught again is to be more careful making it harder for you to find proof. Whereas if you play innocent and bottle up your suspicions, your spouse will have no idea that you are on the scheme of gathering proof of his hidden affair with someone else.

The best strategic move therefore, is to play innocent. Just think about what other people will say about you if they believe you are not listening. Many surprising thoughts may be revealed. They will not hold back on what they are going to say about you and let things unconsciously slip. If you are observant enough, you might be able to detect these slip-ups such as when your spouse comes home with damp hair or smelling of soap. Do not immediately confront him. Take note of these and wait for the next slip-up. As the old saying goes:

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”

The more you bottle up your suspicions, the more proof you can gather about him. Remember to never accuse if you don’t have enough proof. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Chances are, you will expect denial or you could totally be wrong about your accusations.

You can also hire a private investigator to do the spying for you. You don’t need to put your life on hold just to waste your time spying on him. Private investigators are professionals and they know what they are doing. Just make sure you don’t let your spouse know you are doing this by keeping your business cards and paying the investigator by cash.

If you think that hiring someone may be too expensive, you can ask for help from your significant others. Or you could check his cellular phone for suspicious text, calls or emails. You can also bring him food whenever he says he’s at the gym just to make sure that he really is there.

Just keep in mind to be discrete and do not let him think that you are spying on him or else he and his lover will change their routines.

Keep all solid evidence that you have about your partner’s external affair and only show it if you think it is enough. Having everything on hand, your partner will be caught off guard with no chances of making up any excuse for his actions. These solid evidences may also come in handy for legal purposes. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Emotions can be a strong influence so make sure that you write down whatever you are thinking or what you are planning. That way, these plans will not get influenced easily by your emotions.

People can become irrational once emotions are involved and may say or do something that they will eventually regret. Be sure to try and stay strong especially if you have children because they need someone to look up to when they are confused and scared about the situation.

A close friend or a family member can act as a support person but you have to be 100% sure that this is not your partner’s lover. Once you’re sure, you can then speak out your suspicions and try to be open to you support person’s point of view.

You must also ask this support person if he/she is willing to accommodate you if ever what you’re suspecting is true. This way, you won’t be alone during this crisis in your life.

If there’s no one who can act as your support person, there are always support groups in the community. Search for shelters and hotels are - Ask Questions Get Answers

available where you can stay and pass time in case your partner won’t leave. But be aware that in the end, it is the cheating partner that should leave.

However, if you think that your partner can change and if you’re willing to give your relationship a second chance, be sure to state your expectations and whatever it is that needs to change. Make your statements clear and have therapists ready to back-up the both of you during this patch-up to avoid giving up on working out the relationship.

If you have decided to patch things up, just make sure your partner is also willing to do it because if he doesn’t, the situation will end up causing you much more pain.

Be clear about what you are going to say and be aware of what emotions you want him to know. Let him realize that he has to take responsibility of his actions. Don’t go about jumping, slapping and screaming as this will make your partner think that you are unstable. If your partner sees that you are strong and able to control your emotions, they will realize that they have made a grave offense and will think that you can stand on your own even without them. Even if you think that hurting your partner is just, never do this because you can be charged of assault and battery. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Be sure to keep all evidence and request people to remember infidelities because you might need these for legal purposes. Also make it a point to hire a good lawyer preferably one that has been referred by a friend.

Knowledge indeed is power so take advantage of every situation, plan carefully and be cognizant. Be aware of your rights and don’t let your partner trample over your ego.

Money is still vital at this point so make sure you have settled joint bank accounts. Save up some just in case you need to stay away from your partner or if your partner doesn’t want to give up the house. You will need the time to be away from each other so you can both think things through.

If perchance you are wrong about your accusations about your partner, you must also be prepared for personal change. Accusing your partner of cheating is a big thing so you might need therapists to help you deal with jealousy and mistrust issues.

Upon finding out the truth, it is understandable that you may still think that your partner is cheating on you. Until your suspicions have been proved, never say anything to your partner. - Ask Questions Get Answers

If your partner is indeed innocent and it has been proven that he is not cheating on you, you have to put everything behind and stop torturing your partner. An end to this matter doesn’t mean that you won’t have future problems again.

This event will bring about a change in your relationship with your partner. You have to work on rebuilding the trust. A marriage counselor is advisable during this time so that both of you can work through this issue and regain trust with each other once more. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER TWO: When Can You Say It’s Cheating?

Each individual has a different perception about what cheating is. So how do you know if cheating is cheating or if it’s merely temptation in a different form?

Women see kissing and sex more of an emotional rather than a physical experience. Men think the opposite. If these aspects differ from each gender, then cheating may mean different for each gender too.

Basically speaking, exchange of body fluids with another person who isn’t your spouse can immediately be considered as cheating. Kissing is somewhat forgivable, but it is usually what leads to sex. So can kisses be concluded as cheating?

If the event didn’t go any further than a kiss, is it because they knew what they were doing was wrong or because they felt guilty that they were already cheating their partner? In this case, a guilty kiss can conclude that the cheater doesn’t want to cheat on his lover. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Kisses can be influenced by different factors but the most common kind of cheating kiss is the drunken kiss. Kisses influenced by alcohol can mean that the thought is clouded and judgment is unclear. Sometimes, cheating kisses happen because the cheater wants to get attention from the opposite sex and prove that he/she still has worth.

Sex on the other hand is unquestionably cheating. If someone tells you that he/she had ‘accidental sex’ with someone, then that person is an idiot. There is always time to think before doing the act. If the cheaters plan to meet up, then they would possibly talk about where to do it. This time will give them enough time to realize and think about what they are about to do. Unlike cheating kisses, alcohol influence is not an excuse to deciding to have sex with someone. No matter how drunk you are, you always know what you are about to do when it comes to sex.

Flirting on the other hand is just a means of stroking the ego. However, if the person is not contented with flirting, this may eventually lead to kissing and having sex with a person other than the main partner. Flirting is healthy in a relationship and I bet you have done this yourself from time to time too. But it shouldn’t lead to kissing or sex or else it will then be considered cheating. - Ask Questions Get Answers

How about porn and strip clubs? Can you say that it’s cheating when you see your partner watching porn movies and going to strip clubs? Do not jump to conclusions. Make sure you ask your partner the reasons behind this ‘hobby’ and why they enjoy doing so. If your partner likes porn and strip clubs, it does not instantly equate that he wants to sleep with the stripper.

If you are in this kind of situation, think of it as something to be thankful for – that your partner is not out there fulfilling his physical desires. Deal with the situation as calmly and rationally as you can. But be cautious too because looking at strippers is definitely different from getting a lap dance from one of them. It transcends to a more intimate level from visual to physical.

If your partner is constantly hanging around with someone else, this doesn’t conclusively mean cheating. There is a probability however, it may not have happened yet. What you need to do is approach your partner calmly and state that you are not happy with him hanging around that person; however, never forbid them from seeing each other. Your partner might think that you are trying to be in control.

If you’re lucky, there might be a time that your partner will honestly tell you that he is worried that he might be developing feelings for another person. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Never treat your partner like a cheater instead, talk to him. Tell him that you appreciate his honesty and that he must do some effort to avoid that certain person. He managed to gather all his courage to be honest with you because he doesn’t want to be involved with another person.

His honesty in having feelings for someone is not cheating but it will turn out to be that if you don’t handle the situation carefully and will not do anything about it. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER THREE: Why You Should Know











communication. Without them the relationship won’t work out and problems regarding affairs with other people cannot be fully dealt with. Both individuals must be 100% happy and trustful after a problem has been fixed or else the problem will reoccur all over again.

When you are in a serious relationship, the last thing you want to find out is that your partners is having an affair or have had an affair with someone before. But apart from that, the worst feeling is when you’re not entirely sure about your suspicion. Your gut instinct has a purpose and it might tell you that your partner is cheating so you need to deal with it by gathering solid evidence. If you discover in the end that your partner is not cheating, then you need to work on building the trust once more.

Several reasons exist as to why some people don’t want to know if their partner is cheating. Most people think that this event might ruin the relationship and they will end up alone again. But in reality, dealing with the problem is the first step to determining your future with your partner or on - Ask Questions Get Answers

your own. Problems need to be faced head on so that it is much easier to move on.

So why should you know if your partner is cheating? Well in actuality, it is for your own good and for your own future. Don’t be scared with the truth because if you deny learning the reality, you will be stuck in that place for a long time and will only end up hurting yourself. You can fool other people but you can never fool yourself.

Chances are you will be willing to work it out with your partner so as I’ve mentioned and you need to get a counselor to help you out with your issues. But if perchance you decide to get separated, then view this event as a chance to start your life again. You are much better off without the pain and suffering caused by your partner and once you’re gone, your partner will realize that losing you is a cruel punishment of his actions.

Another reason why you need to know if there is cheating in a relationship is because having a cheating partner can greatly affect your personality and how you interact with other people. Apart from that, it can also affect your confidence and self-esteem. You may also find it hard to trust other people, even your friends. You might think that if one person that you love can hurt you, won’t everyone else do the same? Chances are, you might also - Ask Questions Get Answers

conclude that are not good enough for anyone anymore. But the truth is, these thoughts are not at all true.

Usually when a person knows that his/her partner is cheating, they will ask a million questions whenever their partner leaves the house; such as “Where are you going? How long will you be gone? Who are you going with?” and the worst one would be “Are you going out to meet him/her?” The latter usually fires up an argument and the cheater leaves the house feeling bad which pushes him further into his lover’s arms. You can end this hurting cycle by gathering facts and finding out if your partner is really cheating on you.

When there are children involved in the situation, the matter must be dealt with appropriately. People think children are naïve but in reality, their mind is a blank canvas which makes it easier for them to remember what they hear and see such as mum and dad arguing and accusing each other of cheating. When they grow up, they might unconsciously do the same to their own partners and end up getting hurt just because they have witnessed such during their childhood.

If your partner denies having an affair with another person, you must go to extreme means to prove infidelity so that you can show your partner and - Ask Questions Get Answers

yourself that you are not silly enough to tolerate such act. If you have proven this, then you can stop worrying yourself and wasting your life wondering where your partner is and who your partner is with.

Legal battles might arise in the event so be prepared with all the evidence on hand for your own benefit. However, if your partner isn’t really cheating, then you have to make amends and prove to your partner that you can trust him. Lack of trust can ruin a relationship, so can empty accusations and jealousy. Accusations of infidelity are far more harmful than actually finding out a cheating partner. A support person from the outside may be able to help you have a clear view of your situation. Listen to your friend’s opinions as these may be insightful and help you realize certain things that have been clouded by your mistrust and jealousy. You need to find out the truth and if your partner is not proven guilty, then tell your friends so they don’t end up being needlessly harsh on your partner.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself this question: “How much time am I spending thinking and worrying about what might be?” - Ask Questions Get Answers

Basically, the more you think about it, the bigger the problem becomes. Even if you try to bottle up your emotions, these will eventually and unconsciously find a way to manifest in your voice and actions.

However, ask yourself this question too: “Is it fair that I accuse him of something when the fact is he has done nothing wrong?”

Put yourself in your partner’s position and think about how you would feel if you were accused of cheating when you’re not. Won’t you feel offended? Won’t you think that your partner doesn’t trust you anymore?

These questions will eventually lead to more fights that will ruin the relationship so it is advisable that you have to prove that your partner is not cheating before it will ruin your relationship.

A sincere and deep apology is expected if ever your accusations are wrong. Expect beforehand that you will not be instantly forgiven but realize that you are one step ahead to a much better relationship with your partner. You will then know what you should do if ever your gut instincts gets off track. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER FOUR: Infidelity Quiz

Try and answers these questions with “Yes” or “No” as honestly as you can so you will be able to determine if there is infidelity involved in your current relationship:

1. It was less than a year after you met your partner when you decided to get married. 2. You and your partner are both under 25 years old. 3. Your partner has unexplained and unpredictable mood swings. 4. After coming home, you and your partner don’t talk much about what happened to your individual lives during that day. 5. You both have individual hobbies and interests. 6. You and your partner are married for less than 7 years. 7. You have a kid who is under 2 years old. 8. You and your partner examine phone bills, utility and bank accounts together. 9. When there is time, you and your partner plan on ways to spend time together. 10. laws. You and your partner have good relationships to both your in- - Ask Questions Get Answers

Each number has corresponding points when you answered “Yes” or “No”. Add the corresponding score and see the results below: Question 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 Yes 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 No

Results: Total of 1-3: You are able to understand what marriage and working together as a couple is all about while regarding each other’s individuality. Because your marriage is strong, infidelity is highly unlikely. Don’t be complacent though and try to keep working at growing together as partners. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Total of 4-6: You only have a typical idea on how to make a marriage work out but do not despair because there is still room for change. If you want to save your marriage and reduce the risk of infidelity, then you need to sit down and talk about your issues as a couple.

Total of 7-10: Basically, your marriage is what we call a disaster waiting to happen. You need to realize that you have entered marriage and you need to work things out together, not as separate individuals. Having a hobby is an outlet away from each other once in a while so go have a hobby. When deciding on something, include your spouse. It is vital that you both have the time to be with each other to discuss on your priorities and how you can strengthen your weak relationship. To avoid major problems in the near future, seek a counselor to help you resolve your marital problems. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER FIVE: Is There a Life After Infidelity?

Whether you have decided to be together or whether you want to be on your own after an event of infidelity, there is always a life after it. It just depends on how you move on from there and how much willing you are to accept reality.

Communication is very important during this phase but you still need the space to think things through. Ask the cheater to move out of the house for about 1-2 weeks so you can evaluate your emotions.

If the cheater has been cheating on you habitually over and over again, then probably the relationship is not worth saving at all. If it’s not the first time your partner has cheated, then it will definitely not be the last. If you decide to take this person back after the recurrent episodes of cheating, then that person might think that he can get away with his actions that easily and will eventually cheat on you again.

You have the other option of looking at your relationship and evaluating whether you are willing to trust your partner again. Rebuilding broken trust is a long and tedious process and both of you should put equal amount of - Ask Questions Get Answers

efforts to it. A relationship counselor can greatly help since they are experts in the field and have studied several cases of infidelity before.

If both you and your partner decide to go your separate ways, then think rationally on how everything will end up and how you can divide your shares equally. You have to talk with your partner and establish a closure to your affair so each of you can have a final say.

Also consider whether you want to be friends with that person afterwards. You can’t be friends if you have bad feelings for a person so decide and set the limits to your relationship before breaking it off with your partner.

It is true that time heals all pain so never feel bad about yourself because as true as it may be that it will still hurt in the process of healing; it will never be anywhere near as bad. Do not waste your time crying over someone who doesn’t know you and who obviously doesn’t deserve you.

It is acceptable to cry but you have to eventually pull yourself together and realize that it was not your fault that this thing has happened. Do not wallow in self-pity and realize that you have to stop thinking about what could have been if you acted differently. Stop thinking about your partner and do not try - Ask Questions Get Answers

to over analyze the situation because you will end up confusing and hurting yourself even more.

What has happened is something that time cannot rewind so bear in mind that you need to pick yourself together and rebuild your self-esteem. You will need to start dating again but never let anyone push you into doing it. Deal with your problems first before you go into another relationship because as long as you’re not over your partner, you will never find someone else who can make you feel the same way as your partner did.

Deciding whether to stay together or not is up to you. But always make it a point to evaluate the outcomes of your decision and determine how you will be able to cope up with the situation.

Although it is fulfilling to be able to express your thoughts, it is sometimes much better to be silent. Not saying anything can hurt as much as painful and angry words. Your partner will eventually realize how hurt you are and how hurting his actions were making you aome out as the better person. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER SIX: Accidental Slip-Ups

There will always come a time that you partner will have slip ups. With so many lies being generated, he will not be able to remember everything he has said to cover up his affair. If these slip ups occur, do not let it pass you by because your partner might think that he can easily get away with it.

If there will come a time that your partner will accidentally call you by someone else’s name, don’t brush it off that easily. Your partner might be visually imagining his other lover while he is talking, or worse, making love to you. Listen carefully when he mentions the name again and pick up cues from his conversation with you.

If many people or close friends and family members have seen your partner with someone else publicly even if your partner has told you he will be at work, this is positively a proof that he has an affair with someone else. If you confront him and he tries to cover it up, tell him that he owes you an explanation and that you won’t stop pestering him until you get the truth out of him. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Other common slip-ups is are cases where you see lipstick on his collar, a certain scent or perfume that you do not own, or a hair strand on his clothes. When you find these, do not accuse him of anything instead, just state it simply and clearly that there is lipstick on his collar. See what his reaction is like and listen to his alibi. By the time he tells you an alibi, you have already determined whether he is lying or not just by analyzing his reaction.

Whatever that slip-up is, never let your partner get away with it. If you have the reason to be suspicious, do so because you will be amazed at what you will discover. The key to being informed is being aware therefore you should be cognizant and mindful about what is happening around you. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER SEVEN: Behavioral Changes

What signs should you look out for if you think your partner is cheating on you? It is a fact that when someone hangs around another person long enough, his personality and behavior will mimic that of the person he is spending time with. Sexual, behavioral and personality changes in your partner are positive signs that he is having an affair.

While it is true that most people will experience a stand-still in their sex life if their partner is having an affair with someone else, it is not perpetually true. Sometimes, the cheaters sex drive might become highly stimulated leading to an increase in you and your partner’s sex drive. Observe if your partner is putting pressure on you in trying out different sexual positions and discover the reason behind this change of interest.

On the other hand, if your partner and his lover are having new and passionate sex, then your partner might have little desire in lovemaking with you and might see it as a chore rather than a pleasure. Lack of foreplay and kissing is a sign of distraction so be aware of these when you and your partner are having sex. - Ask Questions Get Answers

General questions can also reveal whether he is guilty of having an affair with someone else. A simple question such as “What did you do today?” or “How was your day?” answered by your partner in a defensive manner shows that he is definitely hiding something. You can simply respond by

saying that he has to tell you so you won’t worry who he’s with or where he’s at during that time.

Body language can tell a lot. Take for example folded arms. Folded arms during your conversations actually mean that your partner doesn’t want to talk about it or he’s not interested in whatever you are saying.

The key to determining these signs of changes is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Think about what you would say or do when confronted and correspond this with what your partner is doing. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER EIGHT: Unexplained Travel

If your partner has an affair, then travelling should be one of the important areas you need to look into because this is the only time that your partner and his lover can go about as a normal couple without taking the risk of someone they know seeing them together.

As soon as your partner says he has business trips to attend to, evaluate whether his job requires him to do so. You can begin having doubts when your partner can’t give you a contact number at the hotel he is staying in and makes up excuses as to why you shouldn’t contact him during his trip. Bear in mind that no company will send an employee somewhere without a phone or any means of communication available. You can also give his office a ring and ask the secretary for his contact number. Make legitimate reasons why you need to contact your partner so that you will be given the number immediately.

You can also offer to send him off to or pick him up at the airport. If he makes up excuses and tells you not to do it, you have to ask why and listen to his excuse. - Ask Questions Get Answers

While your partner is away, he might ring you to check in maybe twice a day. This happens because he doesn’t want you to call him up because you might interrupt something. When he calls, there’s nothing interesting in what he is saying and he usually ends it up quickly. To combat this action, you should insist that you call him up yourself during his trip.

Another thing your partner might do so he can spend time alone with his lover is to convince you to take more trips with your friends. This way, he gets to be alone with his lover while you are away. But if you do decide to take the trip, ring home a few times when you expect your partner to be there and if he isn’t, listen to his excuse as to why he didn’t answer your call. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER NINE: Dirty Tricks

There are several things your partner will do to get you off their back. Some of the ones listed below are time tested and proven while others are quite creative and alarmingly effective too. However, each of these tricks has one agenda in common: to allow your partner to get away from you and the house where they can be alone with their lover.

Business Trips

Business trips are the perfect excuse where your partner and his lover can get away as far as possible from you and enjoy being a couple for several days or weeks. It can also be a good way for them to be together in a nice hotel and have a hindrance-free weekend together.

Late Nights at the Office

If your partner has a busy profession, then this is probably the best excuse they can give you because you are not entirely sure about how busy his workload is. A project nearing the deadline is a perfect excuse to stay out late without any interruption from you since it is understandable that you - Ask Questions Get Answers

must not disturb your partner while he is working when in fact your partner is with his lover all the while.

Gym Schedules

If your partner is good, he might be able to make you believe that he has gym training schedules on a regular routine. This excuse is particularly clever because he can then deal with the issue of coming home with damp hair and smelling of soap.

Your partner may be working out more than you think and is trying to impress someone if they spend endless hours at the gym and decide to go on a health binge without any apparent reason.

Business Lunches and Dinners

Your partner may also make an excuse of having an important business dinner with someone. What other perfect excuse to be uninterrupted for a period of time than to use this alibi? Determine whether these business lunches and dinners correspond to your partner’s job description and monitor how frequent these are occurring. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Membership in a Sports Team

Being a member in a sports team can be your partner’s excuse of not having time to be with you. Your partner can also use this excuse for tournaments, practices and away games with the team.

Out With Some Friends

It is understandable that both you and your partner have individual sets of friends of the same sex and at times would want to be out with them every once in a while. However, if this excuse is being used often, it is just that you inquire about how often your partner and his friends are going out.

Night Classes

This is an alternative to the sports team excuse. Having classes or taking up a hobby is definitely something you must not deny from your partner. But if you think there’s something more to it, you should be careful and look into this excuse closer. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER TEN: Looking For Signs

If there is an affair going on between two people, they tend to make sure that everything is kept hidden. However, it is common that they forget to cover up small things and these things might appear as noticeable ones to people who manage to discover them.

It is just the same as you and your home. You will eventually notice that something is not right because you already know where everything is placed inside the house. Same is true with your partner. Because you already know him and have been with him for quite some time, you will easily notice when something isn’t right about his actions or character.

Your partner’s car and the bedroom are two of the most noticeable places where you can investigate changes. Take a mental picture of his car before your partner leaves or a visual image of the house and where things are placed before you leave. See if there are hair strands that don’t belong to you or your partner on the head rest of the passenger’s seat or your side of the bed. These hair strands might also be on the floor, in the bathroom or on your vanity mirror so be extra careful and have a keen eye for these. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Keep in mind where the towels are and what color your sheets were right before you left because if your partner and his lover are having sex on your bed then your partner will definitely wash the sheets to eradicate the soiled evidence of infidelity. Keeping your body wash and razor in the same place after using it can also be done because if they are not in the same place you left it, you can be sure that another girl has used it and not your partner because the smell cannot correspond to his gender.

When you get home from work, see if there’s any condensation or water droplets in the bathroom because if there is, then it is definitely not from your morning bath.

Try checking under the bed or on the side of your partner’s car seat to see if there are necklaces or earrings that you partner’s lover might have taken off to get comfortable. Earrings fall off easily so be sure to search for this. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Following the Paper Trail


If your partner has an affair with someone else and is maintaining it, then it has surely cost him time and money. Spending habits leave a paper trail therefore you know what is going on with your partner and his lover’s lives. If you are willing to spend time and effort, you will discover that this paper trail is evidence enough that your partner has an affair with someone else. It’s just a matter of asking yourself how hard you’re prepared to look for the trail. Receipts are the most obvious paper trails to look for because you can easily locate them in trousers, jackets, glove compartments, under car seats, and many other places. Shop receipts indicate when, how much and what is being paid for so you now get an idea on what is happening in your partner’s life and his lover. Eventually you will be able to build a profile on where you partner has been and what activities he has been doing for a couple of days. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Record every receipt you get and correspond it with his excuses for that certain day. Although his story might not always match up with the receipt, bear in mind that this is not always a sign of infidelity. Be just and reasonable before you start accusing your partner.

Bank Statements Likened to receipts, bank statements also provide a summary of what you have been spending on and when you are spending them. It will be very easy to trace expenses if you and your partner have joint accounts. If you both have individual accounts, be sure that you know about each and every one of his accounts so you will be able to monitor them. If you’re not able to find any of your partner’s bank statements lying around the house, you can always call the bank and ask for a statement. Most bank account security questions will just ask for the last 4 digits of an SS number or the mother’s maiden name and you know those already. You can also intercept the statement in the mail before he gets a chance to open it or you could view the statement online, provided that you have his account numbers.

Credit Cards - Ask Questions Get Answers

By reviewing credit card statements, it will be easy to track down the spending activities of your partner. Like receipts and bank statements, credit card statements will also provide you as to what item was purchased, when it was purchased and how much has been spent on the item. It might be difficult to keep track of his spending activities if he has several credit cards but you can ask for a credit report from credit reporting agencies such as TransUnion.

Whether it be a receipt, bank statement or credit card report, a good hunt around the house and in trash cans while your partner is away can prove to be beneficial in knowing what lifestyle he leads.

E-mail Email is yet again another tool in the cheating scheme. Microsoft Explorer is the most common way to access emails and sometimes you don’t even need to type in the passwords for you to access the email account. Once you’re in, you will be able to browse through folders and open messages that may spark your curiosity but if the email is protected, then you can’t go further unless you have spyware installed on your computer. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Most people don’t go through much trouble when using their emails so use this for your benefit. The trash folder is the best place to look for any deleted messages that might be from your partner’s lover. Email messages that have been deleted are usually stored there for 24 hours before it permanently gets deleted. Another place to look for is the recycle bin where deleted images and files can be located. The recycle bin cannot be emptied unless you do it manually and is sometimes overlooked by desktop users. When you see an item, file or email that may come out as evidence that your partner is cheating, all you need to do is print out the file.

Capturing Emails and Passwords 1. How To Capture Emails Using Outlook If your partner uses Microsoft Outlook or Outlook Express to send and receive emails, you only need 10 minutes to access his account by: • • • • • Open Microsoft Outlook/ Outlook Express program Click on File >> Import/Export Click Export to a File Click Personal File Folder (.pst) Save the entire inbox to another directory located in the computer - Ask Questions Get Answers

Burn the saved files to a CD

You now have a copy of all content in your partner’s inbox which you can read at your own convenience at any internet cafe. To import the files, all you have to do is: • • • • • Open Microsoft Outlook/ Outlook Express program Click File >> Import/ Export Click Import From Another Program or File Click Personal File Folder (.pst) Import the inbox to the internet café computer

If by chance you partner does not use Outlook Express or Microsoft Outlook for his emails, simply look up a guide providing step by step methods on how to import/ export files with the email that your partner is using.

It is much trickier if your partner uses a free online email provider so you have to get the password so you can open the email account anytime. - Ask Questions Get Answers

2. How To Capture Passwords

How To Capture Microsoft Outlook Passwords If you want to capture passwords on Microsoft Outlook, all you need to do is get the Password Revealer application from: http://www.0- (Note: Use this application at your own risk. Although we haven’t experienced any problem with this software, we do not accept any liability for its use because we are not the creators of this software. ) The Password Revealer will not detect a password that is encrypted though.

How To Capture Free Email Service Provider Passwords

If you are willing to spend and take the time to learn how to do it, then go ahead and purchase Spector Pro from . The software records every keystroke that has been typed it and then you can browse the keystrokes for your partner’s password. Apart from recording what is happening on your desktop, Spector Pro also allows you to read - Ask Questions Get Answers

messages sent via ICQ, Instant Messenger and other online chatting program.

Cellular Phones Many cellphone companies provide detailed summaries of calls and account activity therefore you can use this to your advantage if you want to know about your partner’s phone activities. Account summaries list details on what number was called up, what time the call was made and how long the call lasted. You can request the cellphone network provider for account activities even as far as a year ago for free or for a minimal charge.

All these gadgets and ways considered as “paper trail” can eventually give you a detailed account about your partner’s daily activity. Once you have built your partner’s detailed profile, you can immediately evaluate if he is cheating on you.

Tricks They Use To Cover Up The Paper Trail - Ask Questions Get Answers

If you have a clever partner who knows the twist and turns of cheating, then you need to know that the items listed below are some of the most common ways they get away with their infidelity:

Cash Outs Sometimes your partner might withdraw a certain amount of money from a bank account to pay for items by cash. What you need to do this time is to evaluate the bank statement and if you see a regular routine of withdrawal, you should ask your partner about it and listen to his excuse. Try and determine whether it is just an alibi or merely the truth about where he is spending his money.

New Credit Cards Your partner may have several credit cards that you don’t know of so the best way to determine this is to take a quick look inside his wallet for strange cards and take note of the numbers while he is out or while he is in the shower. Just make sure that you place everything back to where they were before he comes back. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Virtual Credit Cards Technology these days allow for people to load up their virtual credit card accounts without any transactions showing up on the credit card statements. The fallback with this type of system is that you have to load up your account before you can use it. The best thing to do about this is still to question your partner about large amounts being withdrawn from bank accounts because he might be using this to load up his virtual credit card.

Throwing Away of Receipts A smart cheating partner will always throw away receipt being used that may cause your suspicion. It is therefore advisable to clean out the garbage can one day at a time rather than do it by bulk. One easy way of doing this is to tip off the garbage can into a bigger garbage container so that items will get separated and you can easily see crumpled pieces of paper which may be receipts.

New Email Accounts - Ask Questions Get Answers

It is totally possible that your partner has created another email account for the sole purpose of communicating with his lover. You can easily check for new accounts by searching your ISP and checking recent sites visited or pressing the down button on the log in page for new usernames. Once you have this, you can then use the password detectors mentioned above to open the new email accounts.

Switching to Prepaid

Prepaid plans do not allow for documentation of calls made. It is therefore imperative that you convince your partner that call plan is the cheapest way for both of you to communicate via phone. By doing so, you will be able to access account statements anytime you want to. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER TWELVE: Masked Surveillance

Infidelity is common among married couples nowadays and it is much easier to accept the fact that the sooner you know that you are being cheated on, the better. With the advancements of technology, new gadgets and gizmos are making it easier for couples to detect infidelity among the household. There is no longer need for eavesdropping or groping around in your partner’s pockets once you get a hold of the latest technology in surveillance.

Among the many marvelous new gadgets are:

 Hidden cameras in common items such as: • • • • • • • • Telephone Cellphone Electric Fans Alarm clocks Wall clocks Pens Lighters Plants - Ask Questions Get Answers


 Telephone recorders  Digital voice recorders  Portable lie detectors  Sim card data recorders

These gadgets will help you determine if your spouse is cheating on you without ever having to do the dirty work. Bearing the thought of whether you are being cheated on is a terrible feeling therefore you need to have a conclusion immediately. The devices listed below are just some of the most useful gadgets available today but like any useful gadget, they come with the price. But to know the truth, I’m sure you are willing to pay any price.

Hidden Cameras

Hidden cameras come in a variety of forms and disguises and may be wireless or wired. This is a superb surveillance gadget because if you’re able to properly position the hidden camera, it will be difficult to detect and you - Ask Questions Get Answers

will be able to clearly see what your partner has been doing when you are not looking.

These hidden cameras blend into the surroundings perfectly and can come in all sorts of sizes and shapes. The price for this gadget varies depending on its design and quality.

If you don’t want to draw any attention on your spy camera, you can buy them in the form of alarm clocks, wall clocks or air purifiers for just $130$150. Or you can alternatively get them in the form of smoke detectors, teddy bears, books, tissues or artificial plants for only about $100. Cameras that can be worn on the body such as pens, buttons and other micro cameras sell for only $150 depending on the size, color and quality.

You can visit the website below to browse freely on more surveillance gadgets that you can easily get at reasonable prices:

Telephone Recorders

You have a good reason to spy on your partner if he frequently leaves your side to talk with someone on the phone or if you get prank calls only if - Ask Questions Get Answers

you’re the one answering a call. He may also speak in hushed tones and may even speak quickly and rapidly when you are around. If this happens, you need to know who he’s talking to and why there’s a need for him to leave the room when he accepts the call.

Toll bills and caller IDs are sometimes not enough to prove that your partner is cheating on you. You need to know their conversation and be able to record them in a timely fashion to prove that he is indeed cheating on you.

The telephone recorder can record the lightest sounds upon answering a call and ends recording when the phone is put back on the receiver. This gadget is sold for only at $195 at and usually can record up to 12 hours worth of telephone conversations.

Digital Voice Recorders

If you plainly want to hear what is going on in the room and record conversations without the benefit of spy cams and telephone recorders, then you should get a digital voice recorder. This gadget is palm-sized and is easy to operate without drawing too much attention. As long as you place it - Ask Questions Get Answers

strategically, you will be able to hear all conversation going on inside that certain room.

Sim Card Data Recorder

You partner’s life may easily be contained in his cellphone but once you can access his cellphone activity, you will be amazed at what you will discover. You can do this through a sim card data recorder which allows you to access your partner’s sim and download it to a recorder. Numbers that often show up on the phone bills and on his sim may be immediately identified as the “other person” in his life. The sim recorder only retails for merely $10 but is invaluable if you want to know more about your partner’s contacts.

Semen Detection Kit

Imagine if you find a stain on your bed sheet, car seat or any clothing and you suspect it to be semen; the semen detection kit may come in handy to conclude your suspicions. The test comes in strips and results come out almost instantly. If a strip turns purple, then it is positively semen. Results are guaranteed to be accurate because even forensic scientists use them. Different types of semen detection kits are available but the most recommended ones can be found in the links below: - Ask Questions Get Answers

What to Avoid During Masked Surveillance

When utilizing these advanced gadgets, you need to make sure that you are getting high-quality gadgets at reasonable costs that will give you reliable results. Make it a point to weigh results versus the cost of the gadget.

It all depends on your budget and how much you are willing to spend to know the truth but first; you have to ask yourself these vital questions: • What time of the day do you think your partner is usually cheating on you? • • Where do you suspect your partner and his lover are meeting up? Do you think your partner speaks to the third party over the cellphone? • • Do you suspect that they talk to each other over the telephone? Do you believe that they meet up at your house while you are away?

These questions will help you decide on which gadget you should get and where you can strategically place it. If you decide to purchase a certain - Ask Questions Get Answers

gadget, make sure to hide any evidence that you are spying on him and never use any joint bank account or credit card. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Tips To Flush Your Partner Out

After you have set up your surveillance gadgets, it is typical that you might get frustrated waiting for something to happen, therefore you need to create an opportunity for that to occur. This just means that you need to be away from your partner or the house for some time.

A simple way creating an opportunity is to make an excuse that you have to visit a sick relative. It doesn’t have to be a lie, just make it plausible and believable. The point is that you have to be away for a couple of days but never forget to turn on your surveillance gadgets before leaving home.

Another way to get things going is by sparking up an argument with your partner detailing all the things about him that annoys you. Keep in mind though that you must never bring up the subject of infidelity. Complain about how lousy your sex life is, how he doesn’t have time for you anymore or how he is not earning enough and after that, immediately leave the house when you’re sure that your gadgets are in place. Most probably your partner will have the need to vent out emotions and seek for his lover to stroke his bruised ego. - Ask Questions Get Answers

One other fun way to do it is to see how your partner would react if you told him that you might have contracted some sort of STD. This will spark a blind panic within him at the thought of not only having the STD but also contracting the disease to you because of his lover. Chances are, your partner will definitely find a way to contact his lover so they can go and get tested.

It’s up to you on how you can create an opportunity for your partner to contact and be with his lover. You just have to make it a point that your excuses are reasonable and that your gadgets are functional so you can gather enough evidence and prove that he really is indeed cheating on you. - Ask Questions Get Answers


How can you tell if your partner is lying to you? Several ways exist to detect a liar but for those who have lived their lives lying most of the time, it may be hard to point out. Listed below are some tips that may come in handy so you will be able to determine and point out a liar when you see one.

Subconscious actions and words will always find their way out. Liars may try to hide it but because they are too busy concentrating on the lies, they tend to slip up. You can tell that someone is telling a lie if his story is so detailed, you don’t even need to ask questions afterwards. Liars tend to talk quickly and don’t want to be interrupted while they are talking because they might forget what they have rehearsed if they do talk slowly and allow pauses.

If you get the chance to ask a question, the liar always hesitates before answering it because the answer needs to correspond to his alibi. Most of the time, the liar will manifest selective hearing and would usually say “Pardon?” even if he clearly heard the sentence, allowing him time to make up an alibi answer. Liars get thrown off by questions because they don’t get to plan ahead and rehearse their answers. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Here are some obvious signs that tell if a person is lying to you: • Flushed face or nervousness. Nervousness can betray a liar because as his heart pumps faster, adrenalin increases too and all the blood rushes to their faces causing red cheeks, neck and ears. • Fast blinking. The faster the blinking, the more their eyes will be closed making them think that the problem will go away after they open their eyes. • No eye contact. The eyes show a lot of expression. No eye contact means that the person listening to the lie might not recognize the lie. It’s much easier for a liar to tell a lie when they don’t hold eye contact or if the person they are lying to cannot see their face. • Crossed arms. Crossing of arms is a sign of defensiveness. There’s nothing to be defensive about if they are not lying right? • Moving hands. Their hands move from one thing to another, either pulling, grasping, or itching something. That way they don’t have to look at you when they’re lying. - Ask Questions Get Answers


The time when you are to confront your partner about infidelity will eventually come because uncertainty is the worst feeling of all. You have to become a human lie detector and know when he is lying or when he’s not to avoid more distrust and withdrawal.

Difference Between Women and Men

You have to understand the difference of how men and women lie in order to determine if your partner is lying to you.

Men usually lie because they want to look good in other people’s eyes while women lie in order to conform to society’s expectations. This means that men really don’t care what other people will see as long as they feel good about themselves.

Key Identifiers

You need to know your partner well enough so you can point out subtle changes in behavior that may be signs that he is lying to you. The main - Ask Questions Get Answers

point is you have to be observant and look for actions, behavior and gestures that are out of the ordinary.

Your partner will usually act the opposite of what he usually is if he is lying to you. If he usually talks fast, he may speak slowly and carefully. If he usually looks you in the eye when he’s talking, his gaze might wander somewhere else. If he’s usually calm, chances are he might act twitchy and irritated. If he does these while you’re talking to him, you have to get the truth out of him.

Body Language

Like the old saying goes: action speaks louder than words. Upon confrontation, body actions may betray the liar making you discover if they are trying to cover up something. Actions out of the ordinary are usually signs of lying. Listed below are some common gestures that may betray a liar’s words: • • • • Crossed arms or legs Fast blinking or eye movements Continuous fidgeting Constant rubbing of eyes - Ask Questions Get Answers

Eyes usually focused to the right (which means they are using the creative side of the brain to make up believable stories)

• • • • • • • •

Playing with hair Tugging of earlobes Touching of the lips, nose or mouth Holding on to an object or gripping knee, arm or ankle while sitting Usually looks up Expressions and language don’t usually match what is being said Tapping of feet or drumming of fingers Constant scratching

They say that if a person avoids eye contact, you can tell that he’s lying but everyone knows this already and would usually psyche out the person they are lying to by providing constant eye contact.

Behavior and Attitudes

Upon confrontation, a deviation in behavior may indicate that it is indeed a lie. Listed below are some behavioral attitudes that may reveal that he is lying: • • • Usually hesitates Smugness Manifests a nervous laugh - Ask Questions Get Answers

• • •

Has an uncommon sense of calmness Stories being told are inconsistent Provides extreme amounts of information even if they are not necessary


When being confronted, the person might act defensively and will try to explain his way out of the tight corner. Because he is too busy thinking quickly of what to say and how to react, the signs below may be inadvertently manifested: • A change in the voice pitch; either slower and lower or higher and faster • • • • • A change in the speed of speech Accusations are constantly denied Futile efforts to distract you by interrupting your conversation Weird choice of words or unusual structuring of sentences Constant stalling of sentences with words such as “uhmm”, “well” and “you know”. • Emphasizing of the word “not” in his sentences - Ask Questions Get Answers

Lie Detectors

Technology has made it simpler for the world to detect liars. It is not necessary to wire up your partner to a machine to determine if he’s lying. All that is needed is his voice. The portable lie detector analyzes the stress in your partner’s voice. The gadget however needs 10 samples of your partner’s voice talking in a normal tone so it will be able to build a profile. His voice will be analyzed and will display results at levels of “truth” and “stressed”. This gadget does not substitute for the polygraph machine but will help you determine variations in your partner’s voice which will reveal if he is lying to you.

A sample of this gadget is can be obtained at: - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Secret Communication

If your partner is having an affair with someone else, they will always try and communicate with each other secretly through cell phones, home phones, pagers and computers. Start paying close attention if he’s always checking for calls, emails or text messages and ask yourself these questions in the process: • • Does your partner leave the room to accept a call? Does your partner draw away from you they are reading a text message? • Does your partner receive text messages during late hours and does he stay up late and instantly reply to these messages? • Has your partner ever received a text message, waited a little while, and gone out without ever letting you know or inviting you to come with him? If you have answered yes to these questions, then you have all the right in the world to be suspicious. Your partner need not hide his phone from you if he has nothing to be guilty of. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Another obvious sign is when you keep getting prank calls if you’re the one answering the phone. Your partner’s lover might be expecting your partner to be the one who will answer the phone. One solution to his is to tell your partner that you’ve been getting too many prank calls lately and that you’re going to the phone company to get the number. Chances are, your partner will freak out and convince you not to do it. The calls might stop to because he might warn his lover about this. Even so, you still can go to the phone company and get the number. Wait for a few weeks to pass and call up that number stating that you were just worried because you’re getting a lot of prank calls from the same number.

If your partner picks up the home phone and goes out of the room, they obviously don’t want you to hear their conversation. If they have been speaking on the phone for quite some time already, handle the situation by quietly picking up the phone and listening quickly to what the conversation is about. Do not listen for too long though. Dial a number and if they react, quickly apologize and pretend you didn’t know there was someone on the phone, then hang up. You now have an idea of who your partner is talking to and whether they are more than friends. Another sign that your partner and his lover may be secretly communicating is when your partner denies being on the phone after he has been on it for quite some time. You can also casually ask who called and if he makes up an - Ask Questions Get Answers

excuse and denies knowing that person, then you know that something is up.

The computer is also one method of communication because of the existence of many chat rooms and emails. Watch how much time your partner spends on the computer and decipher his expressions and reactions. If he appears excited or happy even if he says he’s doing some office work, be vigilant. You can handle the situation by surprising him with a hug or a warm cup of coffee plus a compliment that they have been working long and hard. If your partner fumbles or tries to shut something down, then there is something he doesn’t want you to see.

If your partner owns a beeper and gets secretive every time they get a beep or if your partner rushes off with a lame excuse at the sound of it, have all the reasons in the world to suspect that he is hiding something. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Performing Reverse Cell Phone Lookups

You might be suspecting a certain number that keeps coming up on your phone bills or your partner’s cell phone account statement. If you are interested in knowing who the person behind your partner’s phone call is, this chapter will tell you how to do it. Several options exist and all you need to do is read and learn. Outlined below are the simple steps to reveal who the caller is through Google inquiry:

1. First thing you will need is a computer with an internet connection. At this point, we will be utilizing information available on the web to trace down who the caller is. 2. Go to and type in the number that you are suspecting to be your partner’s lover. The results might show up to be too broad and it’s up to you on how much time you are willing to spend on investigating. You can however narrow down the search by placing the number between quotation marks, example “123456789”. - Ask Questions Get Answers

You can vary the search words you enter in Google too such as determining what state the area code is and replacing the first 3 numbers with the area code. You can also type in spaces between the numbers to see if some interesting information would come up. The key here is to use a variety of keywords to ensure that you are covering a wider area of possibilities in your search. 3. Browse through the results showing up and if something interesting catches your attention, research more about it.

Another way to reveal the person behind the phone number is to go to – a search engine which displays information gathered specifically from forums, discussion boards and chat rooms. The same thing goes: type in number, hit search button, and vary search words or key words to get more information.












as or and type in that certain number. See if any profile shows up and begin your exploration about this person there. - Ask Questions Get Answers

The search methods above are free to use but if you still have no luck in finding out the identity of the caller you can opt for the steps below: 1. Give up your search 2. Invest a little amount on money on search engines specifically created to detect phone numbers such as: • • (for cell phones)

The results that show up here are reliable but if no results show up, no fee will be charged from you. For a small price to pay, you will be able to determine the person behind your partner’s phone calls.

These are just some of the most effective ways to trace the caller and how to do a reverse phone number lookup. Break away from your doubts and suspicions by using these simple yet effective ways of revealing the caller’s identity. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Setting Up A Free Lie Detector on Your Partner’s Phone

Long ago, lie detectors were exclusively used by forensic scientists but technology these days have made the gadget available to anyone who wishes to detect a lie when they hear one.

I now introduce you to the first telephone-based lie detector software program which you can get for free – KishKish. In just a matter of seconds, you can download this program and install it as an add-on to Skype – a global internet-based phone system.

The KishKish lie detection concept is based on the Voice Stress Analysis theory which detects lies when there is a high level of stress on the voice apart from truth which shows low levels of stress. It only takes 10 seconds for the KishKish program to analyze the level of stress in your partner’s voice in real time; therefore you can see the results through graphs and lights working while your partner is speaking.

The program isn’t entirely hidden though. Every time you converse with someone, a message pops out on Skype informing that the program might be in use. This can have a positive effect because your partner might cough - Ask Questions Get Answers

up the truth once they know that they are being monitored. You can also manually activate the program by clicking the Skype options Call >> Do More, and then choosing the KishKish icon. Apart from that, you also have the option to record the calls and analyze them on KishKish at your convenience.

Not all lie detectors are 100% reliable so it’s much better to back up gut instinct with the KishKish application. If the results correspond and point out that your partner is indeed lying, then further investigation I advisable. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER NINETEEN: Retrieving Deleted Text Messages

A cheap and user-friendly software now exists for you to retrieve deleted text messages on your partner’s cell phone. Not only does the software give you both inbox and outbox messages from the cell phone SIM, it can also produce a list of all calls that have been recently deleted including all contact numbers contained in it.

The software has been designed with “home users” or non-technical people in mind which makes it simple and easy to manipulate. Within a minute, you will be able to retrieve information. The software can be used on any SIM cad, regardless of what country and is compatible with Microsoft XP, 2003, XP Media Center2005, Longhorn, Vista, 2000, NT, ME and 98. Although it’s a read-only software, it still allows printing out of information retrieved from the SIM.

The software however doesn’t work on a locked SIM so make sure you don’t unintentionally lock the SIM by entering several wrong PIN codes.

Because the software is designed to read damaged, corrupted and crashed SIMs, you need not worry about anything. All data can still be retrieved even - Ask Questions Get Answers

if the SIM is reformatted. All you need is just the SIM and the ability to follow the user guide included in the software. The instructions are clear and simple and within a matter of minutes, you will be able to retrieve deleted text messages, deleted calls, inbox and outbox messages and also the complete list of numbers on your partner’s SIM.

To purchase this software, you can type in “undelete deleted text messages” in Google or you can visit their official website at . - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER TWENTY: The Other Person

You still have to deal with the “other person” at one point or another. Usually, it could be someone you’ve known briefly, a neighbor, a friend or worse a relative. If this is the case, your relationship with that “other person” will definitely change dramatically.

If perchance it indeed is a relative or friend, it is quite obvious that you will not be able to forgive that person easily. A true friend or family member will never attempt to hurt you but if they did this to you, it is understandable for you to be angry. Just make sure that you don’t make a scene if you see both of them in a social gathering or out publicly.

If you are in a social gathering and people see this situation, they might feel awkward about it. But never let your emotions control you. Do not make any nasty remarks or foul actions because it might stop people from having a good time. There is always an appropriate time to start an argument but a social gathering is not one of those moments.

What you need to do is to try and put the situation out of your mind. Think of your friends and the reason that you are there to have a good time. If - Ask Questions Get Answers

your partner sees that you are happy even with the situation, they will feel guilty and recall the good times you had together making them even guiltier.

Make it a point to avoid letting your friends choose which side they are on because your friends are his friends too. Doing so will cause a scene and sooner or later, your friends won’t even take the chance anymore at inviting both of you to any social event or gathering.

You must also consider if the “other person” know that you exist or if your partner is married to you. It would be quite unfair if both of you turn out to be the ones cheated on. Even if you hate the “other person” at the moment, let them know the situation, who you are and what your partner is doing. Chances are, that “other person” will leave your partner.

However, if the “other person” knows about you, then that person is as bad as your cheating partner. You see, it takes two to tango. From your point of view though, your partner will come out as the more evil being since he is the one who is emotionally attached to you whereas the lover has no emotional ties to you. At this point, you still have to tell the “other person” about your role and existence in your partner’s life. That way, you come out to be emotionally attached to the person making the “other person” guilty for breaking the bond between your spouse and you. - Ask Questions Get Answers

If you want to meet up or call the “other person” to settle things, make sure that you are prepared and you already know what to say. It is also advisable that you bring a friend along so he/she will remind you of what you want to say and control the situation if things come out worse.

The thing is to appear emotional and let the “other person” realize that they have done something terrible in your marriage. Do not rant, cuss or be nasty because the “other person” might think that you don’t deserve your partner at all for being that way. I know that your anger at this point is overwhelming but it’s better to let that person anticipate your outburst and not receive it. Earn the other person’s respect by being calm so that person will know who the boss is.

Keep in mind to take matters carefully when you’re dealing with your partner’s lover. This might come out to be legally dangerous if you take revenge on the lover rather than your partner. Your partner can forgive you if you have done something wrong but a lover won’t hold back on taking legal actions if prompted to.

After all, you come out to be the better person than the two of them. You get to walk away with dignity and pride, not shrivel up with shame and guilt. - Ask Questions Get Answers


As previously mentioned, if you have joint bank accounts you might notice large amounts of money missing from your account and you know you’re not the one spending it all. This might be because your partner is splurging out on gifts, lunches, dinners and hotel rooms without your knowledge about it.

You have every right to inquire where the money is going to if you observe several entries in your statement that you don’t know about. If your birthday or anniversary is coming up, wait till after that and pounce in after nothing special comes up. This just proves that your partner is spending on something else other than you and the house.

It is never acceptable if your partner gets defensive and doesn’t have an explanation when large amounts of money have been withdrawn from your account. As a couple, you need to talk about it and determine what your finances are and where the money is going.

If you and your partner don’t have joint accounts and all of a sudden money becomes a problem, determine if regular bills are the cause. If not and none - Ask Questions Get Answers

of you has recently lost a job then something probably is draining the money out of his bank account.

As mentioned in the previous chapters, rummage through pockets and compartments and look for old receipts to detail an account of what he has been spending on. Keep a note of all the receipts you see so you can build a profile and determine his routine. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER TWENTYTWO: When Your Partner Leaves

Why Your Partner Leaves

At some point in a relationship, there will come a time that you will evaluate what you’ve been through with your partner and whether you’re willing to go through it again. Some people may realize that they don’t feel the same way anymore but don’t want to tell their partners because they don’t know why and can’t explain why they feel that way. No one wants to start a fuss about relationship matters that’s why no one wants to be the first to talk about it.

These matters may be come out to be harsh and bottling up your emotions isn’t working anymore forcing you to leave which hurts your partner even more that if you’ve just said what you felt about the relationship. However, if you voice out your emotions, you end up realizing that you sound silly or you realize that your feelings have changed. You’re lucky though if your partner will be there to help you sort out your emotions and let you see the light.

There are many reasons why people tend to leave a relationship even if there are important matters or children involved in the situation. Some - Ask Questions Get Answers

people return to their partner’s arms while others move even further away than they have ever been from their partner.

Decisions can be influenced by different people putting pressure on the situation. A person might want more commitment from their partner pushing them further away because they might think they’re not ready or do not have enough to show at the moment. Friends and family may also influence the situation and push your partner further away from you because of the fear of not meeting the expectations.

There are also times that divorced and separated friends and relatives will convince you to end your own relationship because of what they have experienced. They will try and remind you how good and exciting it is to be single again and how you can be free from worrying about your partner. Depression and other psychological and emotional conditions also play a major role in your relationship. Nobody really knows the overt symptoms which can change how a person looks at things and views on life. People may tend to think irrationally and may do unexplainable actions that they will soon regret doing. These conditions may affect a relationship more than you think it can and visiting a doctor or specialist on this matter can help you a lot. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Addictions such as gambling, alcoholism and smoking can also be reasons why a partner decides to leave a relationship. Although an addiction is much easier to deal with because it can easily be hidden from your partner, it still affects greatly if the person with an addiction falls deep into it and feels that they have to choose between their addiction and their relationship. Addictions play the role of an escape from the rest of the world, including an escape from the relationship they are in.

Among all the reasons of why a partner leaves a relationship, having an affair with another person is the worst case of all. Don’t hold them back though. Let them go.

Do not let your partner use you instead, let them be together. They deserve each other because your partner cheated on you and their lover indulged in a forbidden relationship even if they know you exist. Right from the very start, they are just fooling each other. Problems on infidelity will sooner or later arise because right from the beginning, they built their relationship upon it.

There may be cases where the reason for leaving may be an emotional scar that your partner has had. They might have not gotten over a past issue and is now afraid to get committed with you because of the fear of getting too - Ask Questions Get Answers

attached or getting hurt by you. No matter how often and how hard you assure them that it won’t happen again, they will still constantly think that you will do it to them. This dilemma cannot be treated overnight so you will need a counselor to help both of you go through this stage.

You always have the opportunity to learn so try and communicate with your partner. Do not attack them and listen to them so you’ll know their side. - Ask Questions Get Answers


The most difficult part when you find out that your partner is cheating on you is the part where you tell your friends and family about it. This is something that is not easy to bring up in conversations but you need to do so in order to get insights and support from them. The fallback though is the risk of ruining the previous relationship that has been built between your partner and your friends and family.

If there are children involved, make it a point to keep a good relationship with your partner’s parents if possible. Your children might lose their sense of family if they don’t see their grandparents too. Try and be in good terms with your partner’s parents at all times. Talk to them about the situation. They might feel embarrassed because it’s one of their own you are talking about and you can either continue being friends with them or they will try and support your partner in the situation. Whatever their decision is, do not pressure them because it is a hard decision and try to keep an open mind.

Your side of the family is involved in the situation too whether they like it or not. Make sure you do not badmouth your partner when you’re telling your - Ask Questions Get Answers

side of the story so things don’t turn out worse than they are. Your family needs to be there for you and support you during this crisis.

Depending on how well your partner got on with your family, determines how your family will react to the situation. It is up to them to decide if they still want to see your partner or they want to remain I contact with your partner. Let your family make their own decision and respect whatever it is they decide upon.

Once your partner has betrayed you, they too have betrayed your family. If you feel hurt, your family will feel the same too because they have also built a relationship with your partner. Whatever the outcome, see this as a chance to bring your family closer together.

One of the most difficult lessons to learn after you’ve learned about your partner cheating on you is when someone tells you “I told you so”. Don’t let this get to you because it already happened and you’ve learned from it. In reality, it’s easier to give advice on other people’s relationships but when it comes to your own, you don’t exactly know what you should do and how you should react. You can learn from other people’s mistakes but it’s much better to learn from your own experience. You know your partner better than other people do that’s why it’s hard to take advice from other people. If - Ask Questions Get Answers

you think you think you love someone, you know you got to have hard proof before accusing them.

Another hard point to come by is having mutual friends. Never pressure your friends to choose between the both of you because it’s not fair. It is your partner who cheated on you, not your friends. Bullying them into choosing your side might turn out to be your loss. Allow them the freedom to decide. If they want to be friends still with both of you, do not talk nasty things about your partner in front of them. They might think you are trying to poison their mind in joining your army.

If both you and your partner have introduced friends to each other, you don’t have to stop being friends with them and neither does he. Just be assured that whatever the decision, you are the better person between you and your partner.

If you can’t get the word out but want to, tell a close friend how you are feeling and let that friend tell a few more of your friends. Do not linger on the fact that your partner cheated on you. Let people know that it is a thing of the past and that you have moved on. - Ask Questions Get Answers

CHAPTER TWENTYFOUR: What To Do When Your Partner Leaves

When your partner leaves you, you might get mixed emotions and most probably your mind will be overworked. One moment you’re angry because of what he’s done and the next thing you know you’re sad because you don’t know how to live without him.

Let me tell you that you have to know what you want right from the very beginning so you can be in control the moment your partner leaves you.

Try and react as calmly as you can the moment he decides to leave. Even if you want to let all your anger out by screaming at him, let him know that the right thing for him to do is to leave. Do not ignore your emotions though because it might erupt at the moment of intense anger. Be in control at that moment and let him know that you are doing the right thing by making him leave.

Bottling up of your emotions can be difficult so you need to look for someone who can listen to you and won’t judge you and your actions. If you can’t find a friend that can be trusted in this time of need, there are many help lines - Ask Questions Get Answers

available. Just make sure that you vent out your emotions because you will never know what you really feel as long as you don’t talk to someone.

What you should never do the moment your partner leaves is to chase him and beg him back. Not only will this put pressure on your partner, he will also think that you are not listening to yourself or him at all. He left for a reason and you both need time to be away from each other. Apart from appearing weak, your partner might also think you are desperate. It will appear like you need them and that you rely on them to live on. This is not at all attractive to the opposite sex. The best thing you can do is to stay strong so they will wonder why you are not wallowing in sorrow and might want to be a part of your life again. Showing your partner that you don’t miss him can earn his respect. And respect goes a long way in any relationship.

The only time that you should chase after your partner is when you know you have done something wrong to push him away. If you want your partner to come back, let them know that you are willing to change and you will put all your efforts into changing for the better. After you have explained your side, allow your partner some time to think about it. If he decides to think about the both of you, this just goes to show that your partner cares about the relationship and is willing to evaluate what has gone wrong. Keep all - Ask Questions Get Answers

means of communication open during this time and wait for your partner to come to you.

With regards to finances, call your bank and settle your joint account. You will need to live a life on your own now with your children if you have some. Money is still important and you need to make sure everyone has the right share in their bank accounts because you both own that money.

If children are involved in the situation, make sure that you have the time to explain to them what is going on. Don’t leave them in the dark and as much as possible, answer their questions. They need someone they can trust right now and you need to be that for them. Bring them to someone they like but be with them most of the time.

At this point, you still need a good lawyer, preferably one that has been recommended by a trusted friend. Even if you don’t need one, you still need to know about your rights and can be prepared for whatever legal battle there is to come. - Ask Questions Get Answers


How To Recover After Your Partner Leaves

Your world might have revolved around your partner before he left and it may seem like time is not moving after he leaves the relationship but this is not the case at all. You have two options to choose on how to handle the aftermath of this event. You can either wallow in the depressing realm of self pity or you can move on and realize that life is fun and you don’t need someone to make you feel good about yourself.

They say time heals all wounds and as cliché as it may sound, it is completely true. You may think that it will take longer for your wounds to heal but realize that at some point, you will then be free to think of other things. You will have work or hobbies that will bring you joy and you will eventually have less time to think about your ex-partner.

The biggest secret to getting over it is to keep yourself busy. Have yourself surrounded with friends and family who love you. They understand what you - Ask Questions Get Answers

are going through so never hesitate to visit them or be with them once in a while.

You can also join social groups such as sports teams, running groups or coffee clubs. These activities will keep you busy as well as earn you new friends. Do not force yourself to be with someone. At this point, you can stil go out for a movie, enjoy a meal or just be with yourself without the need for someone to hold your hand.

It is important that you have a support person who you can call anytime to vent out your emotions. Do not worry if you repeat the same words and same ideas over and over again because obviously you have been hurt and you need to talk about it so you can be relieved. Allow criticisms from this person because nobody is perfect and maybe you have done something wrong to cause the situation. Be open minded when speaking to someone about what has happened to you. If talking to a support person doesn’t help and keeping yourself busy makes you even more lonely, call up an expert counselor because they will know what to do and what to say to you. Techniques exist for you to forget the pain and you don’t need to worry because everything between you and the counselor will be kept confidential. - Ask Questions Get Answers

If you have children, try and maintain a stable environment. Do not confuse them by moving to another city or transferring them to another school. Let them know that you are there and that you love them and will not be leaving them like your partner has. If they want to see your partner, let them. Do not deprive them from that. Do not let them suffer because of your hurt and anger to your spouse. What you can do best as a parent is to respect their decision and support them with whatever it is they choose.

Don’t let your ex-partner see that you can’t survive without them. Let them realize that you are strong and you can stand alone. This will make them wonder why you are so happy and why you have gotten over them easily.

Another way to feel good about yourself is to list down your personal goals and outlook and try to accomplish each one of them. You can also put a closure to your relationship with your ex-partner by listing down things you don’t like about them and burning it.

When you feel like you’re ready to get out and mingle with the opposite sex, do so. This does not necessarily mean that you have to date again. You just need to get used to the social scene again after the event you have just gone through. You can ask for your friends’ advice but let them know you just want to mingle, not date. Make it clear that you will date someday but - Ask Questions Get Answers

not today because I am pretty sure they are itching to hook you up with someone.

When you’re ready to date though, let your close friends know. If you don’t like to be set up on individual dates, ask your friends throw a singles party but tell them not to let anyone know that you are on the lookout for someone.

Dealing With a Partner Who Decides To Return

If your partner decides to come back, you have to evaluate the situation and realize that everything is back to ground zero. It will take time for both of you to regain the trust and in some way, you have to deal with several issues before you get back on the intimate level again. It takes time to fix something if you want it to functionally work because like everything else, if you quick fix it, it won’t last long.

The first thing to do is to get a relationship counselor. Getting one isn’t a waste of money because these counselors are professionals who have studied relationships for years. You might be amazed at what the three of you will discover in you and your partner’s relationship. Counselors will help both of you to communicate effectively with each other because - Ask Questions Get Answers

communication is important in all relationships. Sometimes, it takes an outsider to make you realize important things about your relationship with your partner.

Talk with your partner. Settle your issues and communicate both of your sides without involving accusations and judgments about each other. Talk about what you felt when he left and how life was after that. Be open with your partner because this is the key to understanding each other. Avoid yelling because it will lead to an argument. It’s okay to cry though because then your partner will see how much they have hurt you.

Both of you should realize that considerable efforts should be done to reestablish the relationship. Equal amount of effort should come from both of you and do not hesitate to point out if you think your partner is not trying hard enough to make things work.

Because you have accepted your partner back into your life, let him know that you are not to be used. Just because you have forgiven your partner doesn’t mean he can hurt you again. Let your partner know that you won’t take him back if he decides to do it again. Be firm or else your partner will think that you can easily be manipulated. - Ask Questions Get Answers

Ground rules should be set up this time around but make sure both of you are happy to live by these rules. Commitment to the rules can strengthen your commitment to each other.

Make sure that you and your partner have quality time to be with each other. Quality time doesn’t merely mean that you are just under the same roof but it is something that you both share together doing something you enjoy in the company of each other. You have to put efforts to make each other happy when it comes to quality time.

Never forget to sit down with the children and ask their opinion about you and your partner getting back together. Let them know that it is okay to express their thoughts and ask them what changes they want to see. If they appear to be holding back, convince them to share their thoughts. Being a family basically means communicating effectively and sharing thoughts with each other.

Whatever the result of this event in your life, either way you must make no mistake about it. With or without a partner, there is no other way to go but forward. If you remain true to yourself and as long as you have the support of friends, family and counselors, you will survive.

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