My (25 F) Boyfriend (24 M) of 5 Years Just Disclosed To Me That He Does Not Believe Women Should Be Allowed To Vote

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Posted by
u/randomaccount1775
15 hours ago
My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just

disclosed to me that he does not believe
women should be allowed to vote.
I don’t want to cause any political debates. If it’s necessary for context: obviously I believe that
women should be allowed to vote.
I’m so confused, I don’t know what to think. I’m not even sure if this is the proper sub but I just feel
that I need some advice.
In the time I have known him, my boyfriend has always fell politically independent, or so I thought.
Politics was never an issue between us at all. However he just admitted to me that over the past
year he’s grown more and more extreme in his views, to the point that he believes women have
ruined the country (we are American) and that they should not be allowed to vote... He says he did
not feel comfortable telling me about this sooner because he thought he would lose me.
I’m upset and I can’t tell if I’m wrong to be upset about this because I know that everyone is entitled
to have their own views, but now I just feel as though he doesn’t even value my own input/views. He
has assured me that he still thinks that I should be allowed to vote but that women in general should
not...
This is a person I have been with for almost 5 years. We’ve talked about marriage. I don’t know what
to think. In all other aspects he is the perfect, most amazing partner, and I can’t imagine my life
without him in it. But this suddenly has me rethinking about a lot.
Am I wrong to be questioning our relationship over his new beliefs? As his girlfriend am I supposed
to be tolerant and respectful of his views even though I may (strongly) disagree? I can’t tell if I’m
overreacting to this or not. The whole situation has made me feel terrible and I’m so confused.
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level 1
Doctorsass
3.7k points·12 hours ago
So I dated someone for 3 years who at the end of our relationship casually mentioned he didn’t think
the holocaust happened. I. WAS. SHOCKED. I too had the same feelings you are having and wasn’t
sure what to do. In the coming weeks though he became more and more open with his radical
viewpoints and it became abundantly clear that we would never work out. It was so weird though to
have someone I knew SO we’ll become a stranger in a matter of weeks. If I could go back in time to
when he first told me that I would have left him then and there. It would have been a lot less ugly in
the long run that way.
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level 2
Salah_Akbar
819 points·5 hours ago
I have no doubt that this person will express far more radical views as well if they break up. Seems
pretty clear he’s holding back his real “opinions”.
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level 3
pyropenguin1
I would be willing to bet that OP's partner has made a lot of 'red flag' type comments over the years
that were written off as 'jokes' or the OP assumed 'he can't really mean that!'
Usually people who are this extreme on gender equality don't get much better on racial equality or
other political issues.
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level 4
Person012345
Score hidden·50 minutes ago
I agree. As they say, love is blind. If I was OP I would seriously rethink my assessment of my
partner, considering if there's a pattern of problem ideas or behaviours that I may have written off
because y'know, love or whatever. Because even if there's not, as much as she loves and respects
him he apparently believes that she should not have the right to vote because she has a vagina, so
tell me how much respect is really coming back.
Whilst he may convince himself "oh it's not YOU I'd let you vote just that most women are [insert
stereotype X here]" (which would be a problem in itself anyway of course but one that could be
based on simply being misinformed), if that were the real motivation the clear solution is not to
prevent women voting, but to implement some form of meritocratic aptitude test that filters out
characteristic X. People's true beliefs show in their actions and favoured implementations and the
guy doesn't want women, specifically, to vote.
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level 3
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level 3
msingler
23 points·1 hour ago·edited 15 minutes ago
He probably thinks she shouldn't vote either. He is just saying he thinks she should vote, despite
thinking women in general should not just to save face. It sounds like he has deep seated hatred
against women.
Edit: added "should" in front of not
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level 2
wildbeest55
371 points·6 hours ago·edited 56 minutes ago
Lol there’s a controversy in my area about a principal saying in an email the holocaust is a personal
view. I can’t believe there’s someone overseeing a school saying this shit.
Edit: here’s a quote of what he said: “Not everyone believes the Holocaust happened. And you have
your thoughts, but we are a public school and not all of our parents have the same beliefs... I can't
say the Holocaust is a factual, historical event because I am not in a position to do so as a school
district employee.”
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level 3
sad_skelly
That shouldn’t even be a controversy. The holocaust objectively happened as more than enough
historical evidence shows. It is not subjective, therefore it isn’t a matter of personal opinion.
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level 4
Rahbek23
Not just historical evidence, there's still quite a lot of survivors left that have quite literally
experienced it, and these people are still like "nah"..
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level 5
Sex_E_Searcher
I've heard an Auschwitz survivor speak and tell about how her sister wouldn't let her stop working
when she was sick, because that's when they sent you to the chambers. But, then her sister go too
sick even to force herself on. What a dagger to the heart it was to hear, I can't even consider what'd
be to live through it.
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level 6
omnipotent-toaster
My grandfather's brother served in WWII and his job toward the end was to clean the bodies out of
Auschwitz. It's definitely real. My grandma said his life basically was ruined from the PTSD he got
from doing that.
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level 7
turtlesinthesea
My grandfather was a German Jew and lost his first family in Auschwitz. As his granddaughter (so
1/4 Jewish and always wondering if that would have been my death sentence back then) I don’t
know what I‘d say to a Holocaust denier if I ever met one in person.
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level 8
omnipotent-toaster
My mom's side is Jewish, too. That's always something that I wondered, too. Even today, I'm usually
pretty cautious about wearing Stars of David out in public, honestly.
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level 6
buxmega
I was on a train in 2002 heading to visit friends in college. As I was getting to get off I noticed an old
woman with the numbers tattooed on her arm. I froze and my heart sank and my gutd twisted to
know what she went through. She noticed me looking (I was standing next to her waiting for the train
to stop to get off) and I looked at her and pointed at my arm where her tattoo was and she nodded. I
asked to shake her hand. We had a small moment. I wished her well. Not that I wanted I hear the
story first hand, bc I know id cry like a child uncontrollably, but I do want to hear it first hand. I can't
believe there are such idiots who think it didn't happen.
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level 6
autumnwake
24 points·1 hour ago
A man who spoke at my local holocaust museum told us the story of his family, he had twin brothers
who at some point were separated from him and the the way he said "I can only hope that they died
in the camps" was one of the most haunting things I've ever heard.
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level 6
Feistythrowaway2
My grandfather was part of the liberation of Bergen Belsen when he was 18. At that time the Red
Cross advised soldiers not to give their rations to the prisoners straight away because so many
people were dying of shock.
60 years later when my grandfather had Alzheimer’s he would have hallucinations of a woman he
met there begging him for food. He went mad not being able to help her and would have to be
sedated when he started hallucinating.
Fuck people who say it’s not real.
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level 5
KikiCanuck
I mean, there are people who allege that the Sandy Hook shooting never happened, and that's for an
event that was documented moment by moment, in their own country, very recently. The power of
the human mind to believe whatever the fuck it wants is pretty astounding.
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level 5
Exceptthesept
Not just victims, Nazis (former Nazis whatever) have written volumes upon volumes on the
holocaust.
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level 5
Reutermo
Not once during the nuremberg trials did the nazis deny that it happend. They denied personal
involvement, that were just following orders and so on, but never denied that the entire thing
happend.
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level 4
anomalous_cowherd
This is why one of the big US generals whose name escapes me for now insisted that lots of
photographs were taken to combat the inevitable deniers and apologists that he knew would happen
later.
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level 5
Zslone
It was General Eisenhower. Eisenhower was so disgusted with the scenes he witnessed he ordered
it recorded so that it would be indisputable, both during his lifetime and in the future.
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level 6
MAK3AWiiSH
Between holocaust deniers and the horrific military industrial complex I’m sure he’s spinning in his
grave
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level 7
BellEpoch
It still amazes me how clear and concise his warnings were, and yet we walked right into it anyway.
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level 4
overcomebyfumes
Sad that this even needs to be said.
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level 3
duffman13jws
75 points·4 hours ago·edited 4 hours ago
That was my high school. The kicker - we're probably the most Jewish public school in the US by
population percentage, definitely in the top 10. It's Boca Raton freaking Florida, and the richest zip
codes aside from the waterfront ones at that. I had multiple classmates in my graduating class (02)
that had grandparents who made it out of the camps.
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level 4
think_long
I read the emails and the grammar and sentence structure of the principal were almost as worrisome
as his views. How did he get the job?
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level 2
CitizenSnips199
Um excuse me, WHAT?
How did it come up? Was it relevant to the conversation? Or one day, was he just like "Hey babe,
pass the salt. Oh also, the Holocaust was logistically impossible. Anyway..?"
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level 3
No_Place_Safe
Logistically impossible?!? THEY WERE GERMANS FFS.
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level 4
RobinScherbatzky
As a German I'm not sure if this sense of pride that came up reading this is weird or not.
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level 5
lulzmachine
Well it was ambitious at least... Doesn't speak well for ability to question authority though :p
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level 1
asymphonyin2parts
I don't think he gets a vote on whether you stick around.

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level 1
LeatherDaddyLonglegs
2 4
The best advice I ever saw was "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son just like
him"
What are you doing, OP?
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level 2
Yosemite_Pam
In this situation, I would ask if you would want him to raise your daughters.
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level 3
Thr0waway886
"remember my little princess, Daddy loves you, and you're too stupid to vote"
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level 4
NewYorkJewbag
“And you’re ruining the country”
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level 5
aussie-bond
In my head it sounded like George Carlin’s voice) lol
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level 4
KikiCanuck
More like, "you and your mother can vote, (maybe, if she kept it tight) but not all those other
worthless women." Not really better!
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level 4
jesterb00m
This made me laugh, but it was a sad laugh
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level 4
Smol_Daddy
It's like the people that think women can't have abortions unless it's their kid. He assured OP that
she can vote but not other women.
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level 3
dextracin
I couldn’t imagine even introducing someone with extremely antiquated views like that to family or
friends. This seems like a precipice, where at some point, if the relationship continues, he would
want to start making more decisions for you.
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level 3
serpent0608
Or your sons - you don’t want to be raiding little misogynists either.
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level 3
Cultural_Bandicoot
Exactly this.
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level 3
IKnowNothingArgh
My thought exactly.
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level 2
elmummie
To piggyback off of this statement. Why does he think women shouldn't vote? How have they ruined
the country. Lastly that's a fairly extreme point of view my concern would be how extreme could it
get? Women shouldn't be allowed to drive, women shouldn't be allowed out without a chaperone. It's
a very dangerous line of thinking that could spiral very quickly. Be concerned OP very concerned
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level 3
jaisaiquai
It's like he thought The Handmaid's Tale was a good idea!
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level 4
ellieeann
Serena Joy believed her husband saw her as the exception to his misogyny, too.
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level 5
jaisaiquai
She wasn't just someone that Gilead happened to - she was one of its founders and an instigator of
the restrictions on women. Female misogyny is a thing unfortunately.
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level 6
wehrmann_tx
"Its ok because it's not happening to me"
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level 7
jaisaiquai
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. - Martin Niemöller
Gotta say, the news of the Jewish activists protesting the concentration camps for migrant children -
it makes me want to cry.
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level 4
kd8118
Was just about to say the same thing! Does he think that women should be baby making machines
and that's it. No say, no voice, no nothing.
OP, you have every right to be upset about his views. Do you know what has changed for him to
think that women should not be allowed to vote and that they have ruined your country? If it weren't
for women, your partner wouldn't be here so it would be interesting to know why he has the views he
has.
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level 2
mallg0ths
THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY

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level 3
mamakos84
YEET
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level 2
ZeddicusMortis
Or don't marry a guy if you wouldn't want your daughter to marry someone like him (paraphrased)
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level 2
archaeo_dr_phil
This. Sucks you spent 5 years with this person already but the dude has gotten so backwards that
he know longer views women as intelligent beings
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level 3
erkswief
She’s only 25. Started dating at 20 and 19... so the waste of time sucks but it not uncommon for
views to change and grow in different directions within that time period. This guy just somehow went
off the rails. OP should cut her losses here
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level 4
sgtsexual
It’s not a waste of time, it’s a learning experience
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level 2
Bobmarleyeatmykrum
This is good advice but damn, why let it get to that point
Why not "Don't date a man if he is a dropkick piece of shit that you should be embarrassed to be
associated with."
What are you doing, OP.
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level 1
izthis4chan
My ex boyfriend who I dated for 3 years said the same thing to me. He believed women having the
right to vote ruined the USA, and that he believed that women shouldn't have the right to vote
(except me).
He ended up getting more misogynistic (or showing it more) as we dated and even publicly shamed
me for not being able to wash dishes (I can btw, I'm Chinese and my parents didn't allow the use of
dish washers so he was unnecessarily just being an asshole) when we were shopping at a
supermarket and came upon a pair of gloves. (Other things as well, such as randomly calling me a
bitch and whore after I went out to dinner with my mom because he assumed I was going out to
hook up??)
In the end, it means he doesn't respect your views regardless of what he says, and that may (likely
will) lead to him respecting you less and less as a person as well. 5 years is a long time and I
understand your hesitation, especially if he's been pretty much perfect otherwise (and dating
nowadays is awful). I would have a conversation with him and see why he thinks that way. I can't
give you advice on whether you should end your relationship or not; only you know the details of
your relationship. However, in my opinion and personal experience, these types of guys tend to
become abusive as time goes on because this way of thinking about women really poisons them.
They will treat you well until things don't go their way.
Edit: I should also add he started blaming my gender when we would disagree and say things like,
"This is why women shouldn't vote." Or if we disagreed and I asked his POV, he would tell me that I
wouldn't understand because I'm a woman.
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level 2
_steppenwolf_
Fortunately I never dated anyone that said those things but I’ve seen two of my classmates turning
into guys like this through the years. Following extremely misogynistic pages on Facebook, getting
more aggressive towards women until they reached a point where they were saying that women lie
about being raped. Looking back now I could never imagine they would change this much but as
soon as you start following these extreme views it just gets worse with time. OP should definitely be
aware of these signs.
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level 2
Quietabandon
My ex boyfriend who I dated for 3 years said the same thing to me. He believed women having the
right to vote ruined the USA, and that he believed that women shouldn't have the right to vote
(except me).
WTF, is this a new internet alt right/ 4 Chan thing? Or is this a Russian troll narrative? Like when did
questioning women’s right to vote a thing?
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level 3
You_Dont_Party
It’s not new at all, it’s just been reinvigorated recently because of the shitbirds spreading alt-Reich
propaganda.
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level 1
lifeslemon91
You've been given enough advice here, but the one thing I didn't see while reading comments and
your replies is this:
I know you're confused and you have every right to be, but I want you to think of it this way. You do
not love him, you love who you thought he was. You love who he wanted to show you. He admitted
that himself.
He has shattered your illusion and shown his true colours. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it's painful. However,
"when someone shows you who they are, believe them."
This will not get better, only worse. If you're okay with that, stay. If not (and I suspect you're not),
leave him asap, and cut contact.
Above all else, remember: you're stronger than you think. You got this.
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level 2
dawnwaker
great use of that quote
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level 1
pomegranatepants99
2.1k points·14 hours ago·edited 7 hours ago
HOW exactly did we (women) ruin the country? By voting? For what?
This is a huge red flag. Basically bf is saying that as a woman you’re not capable of making your
own decisions? That your decisions are dangerous? Imagine what a marriage with this person would
look like. If you had children - especially FEMALE children - what would he teach them??
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level 2
randomaccount1775
Supposedly by being “too empathetic and not pragmatic”
Up until learning these views of his just now I had only positive, loving visions of our future marriage
and family. But you’re right. you make such a good point. And yet I’m so afraid to lose him, I’m not
sure what’s wrong with me :(
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level 3
zxDanKwan
You’re not afraid of losing him.

You’re afraid of losing the idea that you had of him.
But that’s already gone. He went and lost himself. Now that you know, you can’t put that cat back in
the bag. Everything else will be forever tainted by this.
It’s not your fault.
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level 4
BFG-10000
That idea only existed in her head, created using the lies he has been telling her for the last 5 years.
Guys like this, unless they meet a girl at a Klan rally, are gonna lie their asses off in an attempt to
seem normal. Only when they think they have her hooked will they start spouting this shit.
Right now, he is waiting to see if she will let this slide. He couldn't do it AFTER they are married
because he puts himself at financial risk. He will give her a little while longer and then the pregnancy
will occur.
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level 5
Extra_Bullfrog
Jesus Christ. Don't do it OP! /u/randomaccount1775 Don't let it be too late. Listen to this person ^
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level 4
itsmejustolder
Spot on. Whether he has just adopted this view or lied to you doesn't matter. What you wanted in a
SO is gone.
It's not your fault. And you need to leave, because this kind of thinking spirals downward. Don't wait
for the next surprise.
It's not your fault.
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level 3
artificialnocturnes
The subtext to this is that he thinks you are a silly, emotional female while he is a big, strong
intelligent man. He might say you are different, but do you think he really believes that? Do you want
to constantly be living up to his expectation of what a woman should be. How well will he support
you the next time life is hard and you are "emotional"?
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level 4
seriouslees
dollars to donuts that when she breaks up with him over this, he will not be calm, rational, or logical.
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level 5
lammnub
Yeah the only thing I can think of is how ugly this breakup is going to be
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level 5
bookluvr83
Anger and rage are MANLY emotions, though! /s
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level 6
seriouslees
You did something I didn't like, it's LOGICAL for me to fly into a rage over it!
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level 7
bookluvr83
I mean, thank goodness we have an emotionally stable man in the White House! Can you imagine
what would've happened if we'd elected that emotional woman? /s
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level 3
PeteRepeats
Imagine every time you have a disagreement with this person for the rest of your life, and you will
never get heard or have a say, simply because you’re a woman.
Disagree about punishing your kid and think he’s being too severe? You’re a stupid illogical woman
and HE decides how to raise HIS kids.
Want to go to work after having kids? Or want to stay home? He doesn’t like what you choose? Oh
well, your thoughts and feelings don’t matter and are stupid because you’re a woman.
If you want to move, where your kids go to school, what house to buy, what people to vote for, what
is important in life... your opinions are stupid useless trash because you’re a woman.
You can do much better than a person who views you as inferior to them. He is telling you this now
because he knew you’d never be with him if he shared this in the beginning.
Loving feelings don’t turn off the moment someone reveals themselves to be terrible, so don’t beat
yourself up that you still feel things for this person. But don’t let those feelings keep you in a
relationship with a person who has zero respect for you and firmly believes you are not his social,
emotional, or intellectual equal. He’s an idiot and a scourge.
Gather your strength and leave. And don’t come back if he asks you to, because his opinion of
women will be unchanged. You will fall in love again, and it will be with someone who respects you
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level 3
Morat242
You're sort of grieving the loss of the man you thought he was, while being constantly confronted
with his evil twin who claims to be the guy you thought he was. He's not (and never was), he's the
guy he thought he was.
On some level, you know that the one you want isn't coming back, but at the same time, really
accepting that is so hard. Especially with someone who looks and sounds just like him always
around.
Ultimately, you can't ever completely know someone. However you feel about someone is, to some
extent, always going to be how you feel about the model of that person you've constructed in your
head. The better you know someone, the closer the model is to the real person.
Now you're realizing that your model of him is flawed to the point that it's totally misleading and has
to be recast. Yet you've spent five years making it, so it's tempting to paper over the cracks and fool
yourself into thinking it's still good.
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level 3
SirFreire
You already lost him, you're just having trouble reconciling the guy he was/you thought he was with
the reality of who he is. I guarantee you this isn't even remotely the most extreme view he has.
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level 4
jrai86
Yes, this was probably a him putting a feeler out. The starting trickle of toxicity. If she accepts this
there will be way worse coming behind it.
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level 5
Saint_Blaise
Yeah I doubt this is a new belief. It’s probably just the tip of the iceberg.
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level 5
-DollFace
And he's probably hoping she'll fall in line.
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level 4
CBJKevin91581
This. Imagine several years from now where the now husband wants sex badly and OP isn’t feeling
it that night. Is he going to respect OP or is he just going to take what he thinks is his by right?
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level 5
Runsfromrabbits
"Women don't get to vote on when sex happens"
-OP's boyfriend probably
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level 4
kaibasean
No chance, I know guys like this, he'll be down the trump train in no time, if he loses his girlfriend, it'll
be incel talk so quick.
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level 5
duffman13jws
He's probably already a member of T_D, TRP, MGOTW, and wherever else the incels hang out now.
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level 5
RyokoMasaki
Yep, this dude drank the koolaid for sure.
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level 3
ketita
Think about this: he lied to you about his opinions until now because he was 'afraid to lose you'.
What does that make him?
He lied to you because he knew that if he just came out and said to you "Honestly, I think you're a
second-class citizen and don't deserve self-governance", you'd leave him as you very well should.
Tell him to go fap to The Handmaid's Tale. Understand that he's on the path of thinking that's the
kind of world you should be living in.
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level 4
Abracadoggo
I was going to say, this dude probably watched the handmaids tale like it’s an instructional guide.
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level 3
pomegranatepants99
There’s nothing wrong with you. You care about this person. Real love means loving someone who
is flawed. But real life isn’t loving someone who doesn’t love or even respect you back.
Of course you want to look past it. But I don’t know if that would be a healthy or sustainable way to
move forward. It’s natural that you love this person and you’re experiencing a sense of loss and grief
for the person you thought you had.
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level 3
jackjackj8ck
What’s funny is that breaking up with him would be the most pragmatic thing you could do in this
situation.
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level 4
Tsugirai
Yeah, if I was OP I'd break up by telling him my emotions told me to stay but my pragmatic side won.
And then enjoy the look on his face.
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level 5
la_reinalucy
Yes!!
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level 3
sometimes_I_writestf
Think about it this way: ten years from now you have a child who is going through a massive
problem and you both have very different ideas on how to solve it. Then, instead of listening and
talking to each other about it because you both respect each other’s opinions, he dismisses what
you want for your child completely and instead says, “you’re being too emotional and not
programmatic.” What would you do?
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level 3
Nildro_hain_
This has been so abrupt for you :( off course you’re caught off guard and unsure. You literally just
found out a relationship you’ve sunk a big percentage of your life on, that you had stake in the future
in, is unviable. No one can tell you not to mourn.
But we can tell you to mourn, as a single woman. Because he believes you, your mother, your future
daughters and half the country are too soft to make their own choices. Once you marry him he will
tighten his control on you however he can. You know it’s true. Leave him and mourn. And move on
in your own time.
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level 3
AncapsAreCommies
Supposedly by being “too empathetic and not pragmatic”
Sounds like he's been reading red pill/PUA forums or something. Talk about thinking with your
emotions, there's nothing more emotional than man babies whining about how girls ruin everything
just because they didn't have healthy parental examples of a mom and dad.
edit: relationship advice- Leave him if you can't handle this type of behavior, because it WILL
continue. He's most likely an easily convinced sheep that will believe things he reads on facebook
and instagram memes. It's not long until he's coming to you about vaccines and chemtrails and "how
do we REALLY know the earth is round".
Be prepared for him to call you a stupid whore to all his and your friends, and talk about how you're a
stupid woman who can't think with her woman brain about the "cold hard facts".
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level 4
konSempai
Yeah this sounds like he ate up lines straight from an alt-right youtuber. I bet he'll also call OP an
SJW when she breaks up with him lol
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level 3
saintnicklaus90
Guys absolutely love to show off how “logical” and “calculated” they are as opposed to women who
they view as shit like “empathetic” and emotional. They try shutting out any emotion and wind up
making themselves insane and usually way more emotional than what they despise
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level 4
bunker_man
They don't even try shutting out emotions. People like this are normally rage filled. They only try to
shut out empathy.
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level 4
quokkafarts
Few people are more emotional than a man who says he acts on logic and reason rather than
emotion.
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level 4
EpitaFelis
I remember reading that if we were to cut out our emotions entirely we'd be unable to function. Our
brains need emotions to make decisions. Idk when the myth started that being emotionless makes
one smart, but it is so annoying. If people don't let emotions happen, they don't learn to assess them
and then prioritise properly, and that's the part that's important.
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level 3
rliant1864
Do you really want to marry someone that views kindness as a mortal weakness and believes it
makes you less than human? And then have your children be taught that empathy is a sin? Sons
that believe women are essentially property and god forbid you have any daughters...
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level 3
greendigit101
“Too empathetic”
I’ll take “things a sociopath says” for 500 Alex
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level 4
bunker_man
Or more like "convoluted way to not have to admit that he wants there to be zero benefits for the
poor."
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level 3
gg0209
See? You’re being “too emphathetic and not pragmatic”.
You are now thinking about what once was, which is logical, but that part of your relationship is now
gone. He’s chosen to change and for the LOVE OF GOD, OP, leave him. Please don’t allow yourself
to be thought of than “less”. PLEASE don’t have children with a man that’ll raise his sons to treat
women as “less” and that’ll raise his daughters to “know their place”.
I know it hurts, I really do, but the person you’re still in love with isn’t there anymore. You have got to
move on from him. Down the line, this is only going to get worse. Especially if you allow him to think
his views are okay by staying.
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level 3
TommyPimple
Also don’t tell me all those male voters out there are So PraGmATiC.
Jesus Montana that’s the weakest shit I’ve ever heard. All people fall for the same stupid ass shit -
“I’ll BrINg JOBs BACk.” “I’LL loWeR TaXes.”
Yeah. For sure being a man gives you special powers to see that bullshit.
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level 4
ForHeWhoCalls
manbabies whining about how women ruined the country because they want to disestablish existing
unequal power structures.
He's an insecure person who is worried that the disruption of inherent privilege means he'll have to
earn power instead.
Like whites who didn't want blacks to have votes or equal rights because then it meant they couldn't
automatically be better than other people without even trying or doing anything to warrant being in a
place of privilege/power.
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level 3
ForHeWhoCalls
Don't make dumb decisions for a relationship.
I'm glad you value pragmatism, so do I. I'm cleaning house right now, getting rid of the garbage. That
includes you. Good riddance
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level 3
MyChipmunkFace
Peel the band aid off now. My Mum’s cousin’s marriage started like this. First he tore her down and
convinced her nobody else would want her, then he took over her bank account, then she didn’t
want to leave because of the kids, finally she wasn’t allowed out of the house without supervision
and he locked her in for ‘her protection’. She was in her fifties before she made her break (literally,
someone had to force a window to get her out).
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level 3
maniacmeesh
lack of empathy is exactly why the world is so shitty
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level 3
essential_pseudonym
Gender stereotypes aside, the world would be a better place if there was more empathy going
around. Being empathetic is only a weakness in the eyes of insecure people who need to take pride
in their alleged "rationality" or "objectivity."
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level 3
Reichiroo
Isn't him being afraid to tell you because he doesn't want to lose you him being too empathetic and
not pragmatic?
If breaking up is off the table, ask him to provide you with some facts and sources on the subject. I
doubt he has any.
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level 2
frumpyfrog
Any gender of children!
What other absolutely messed up views does this guy have that he hasn't shared yet?
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level 1
currentlypoopingxo
He doesn't feel that you deserve a vote in your country's elections. Doesn't seem like much of a leap
to assume he doesn't think you deserve a say in much else. I'd be out of there so fast. If he wants to
act like an incel, make him live the life of one.
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level 2
randomaccount1775
This is all just so sudden though, I had absolutely no idea that this was even going on in his mind.
I’m not sure why he decided to tell me now rather than when he first began to align with this
ideology, as if it would somehow not scare me off?? I feel like everyone just thinks I’m a total loser
because I’m not just jumping to the same conclusion to leave him, but I can’t imagine not having this
person in my life anymore... but I think I can see the writing on the wall now
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level 3
schistaceous
It's sudden for you, but it's not sudden for him. He's been exploring these ideas, considering them.
He was aware that you would not approve, so he waited until he was completely convinced.
If he had discussed these ideas with you as he encountered them, you might have been able to
dissuade him. At this point, it's most likely too late to change his mind. You can try, but even if he
backs down, how will you know it's for real, and how do you develop confidence that he won't go
down some other rabbit hole in the future?
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level 4
someonessomebody
You’re on the mark here. He didn’t discuss it before because he knew you’d react badly and he
would risk losing your relationship.
So, what is so different now that he’s bringing it up and talking to you about it? After stewing over it
for a while, he is fully committing to it and is willing to take the risk of losing you over it.
These views of his have become more important to him than you are. Let that sink in.
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level 5
Ghostofchestypuller
Honestly this seems like some Seinfeld shit to me. Something Jerry and George would come up with
to get George's girlfriend to break up with him...
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level 6
-DollFace
Because it's honestly that fkin ridiculous.
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level 7
internetmouthpiece
Imagine living in a democracy and disavowing the rights of others to vote; I think it's only possible for
those that haven't been taught history.
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level 8
jaisaiquai
Or they know history but they choose to believe another version that makes them happier and
possibly props up their insecurities.
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level 4
viking_of_the_month
Not to mention what other things he could be keeping secret right now as well in order to avoid her
judgement/ending the relationship. Thoughts like this one are rarely isolated.
In my opinion, this whole situation is a big red flag for manipulation. People can wear masks for
years and years, but eventually they start to slip, and then it's only a matter of time before they
completely fall off. If he's shit-testing/trickle-truthing right now, it's only going to get much worse.
What kind of person has to wear a mask in order to hold onto a relationship?
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level 5
littlestitious18
This! What else is he not sharing about his true nature
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level 4
ForHeWhoCalls
He was aware that you would not approve, so he waited until he was completely convinced.
He waited until he knew she was really on the hook and would have this debate about 'losing him'
and not being able to imagine him not in her life.
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level 4
chitoge4ever
100% this.
This is new to YOU, not him nor the people that areding your post. So many people here already
know how he got to this point. And people already have an idea of what other problematic views he
might have. This is why most people would tell you to fucking dodge this bullet.
Having an SO like this is like playing with inferno. I would never try to work it unless it was already a
long and pretty serious relationship.
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level 4
scarletnightingale
I think you are right in that he is too far gone. If she leaves him now he will probably just go further
down the path of thinking women shouldn't be allowed an opinion and that women aren't "pragmatic
enough" (his words per OP). After all, he will probably just use this to say "See, women aren't
pragmatic, OP threw away a 5 year relationship over this one little issue, even after I told her I
thought she should still be allowed to vote, just not all the other women". It won't be his fault, it will
somehow be her fault their relationship ended. There really isn't any way out of this at this point. I'd
like to think that her leaving would be a wake up call, but the communities that support these
ideologies are so toxic, I just don't think it would be.
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level 5
ForHeWhoCalls
Not throwing away a 5 year relationship, throwing away a piece of garbage that isn't fit for purpose.
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level 4
Cable446
Take the trash out early before you miss collection day
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level 3
giuliettazoccola
This ideology, btw, is probably not something nice and kind, with just a few strange ideas about
women thrown in. I'm sure that if you question him a bit about race, or history, you'll find a lot of other
ideas and opinions he has been hiding so far...
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level 4
plutomoon
Nailed it. What this one belief about women's suffrage ends up pointing to is another level of very,
very scary craziness about humans & race. There is just no coming back from this, with this
disgusting person.
I'm sorry, OP.
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level 3
LilBabyADHD
Late 20s Female88 points·9 hours ago
can’t imagine not having this person in my life anymore
i hung on to a relationship for a full year longer than i should have because of this same belief.
if you can see the writing on the wall now, trust me, it's only going to get bigger and brighter moving
forward, and the breakup will not be any easier in the future. my single biggest regret of the past 3
years: not leaving when i first realized things would likely never get back to where they were. they
only got worse.
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level 4
lunatabby
Same here. Hung onto a toxic relationship because i truly believed i couldn't live without him. When i
finally decided to do so (after he left me with no choice), it barely took me a couple months and I was
living my best life. You'd be surprised by how stupid you'd feel, even considering staying with a toxic
person, once you've left them and had a breath of fresh air.
He's doing you a favour here by alerting you to these red flags now, rather than after marriage. Get
out, OP.
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level 3
quatraine
Girl! He’s been hiding the crazy! That what these guys do. And this is the tip of the iceberg. He said
that he didn’t tell you sooner because he knew you wouldn’t like it? That means he’s just testing the
waters with this, he’s withholding worse stuff.
You’re the frog in the pot and he’s cranking up the heat to boil you.
Start a convo with him, ask him about some of his other ‘controversial’ views. And then report back
because I bet it’s going to be a juicy read.
Also ask him what he expects of you when you get married and have kids. I bet he’s got some great
theories on that as well.
(Maybe get a couple beers in him first so he’s less likely to censor himself.)
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level 4
flash_match
This is what I’d advise. See what else is bouncing around in there to determine just how deep this
goes. Maybe find out if there’s a blog he visits regularly where the toxic brew from which he’s
drinking is all out there and you can sample the insanity yourself.
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level 5
quatraine
The “I intentionally hid this from you because I was afraid you’d leave me” is the big red flag here.
I can only imagine what other ‘woke’ theories he believes in.
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level 6
LilBabyADHD
Late 20s Female330 points·9 hours ago·edited 7 hours ago
again, but louder for the people in the back:
“I intentionally hid this from you because I was afraid you’d
leave me” is the big red flag here.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 🚩🚩
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level 7
MaritereSquishy
Yes!!! Hiding something because it would annoy you, big red flag with blinking lights and alarm going
off. Extreme views, another red flag If he doesn't think you deserve to vote why would you deserve
to know the truth anyway
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level 6
The_Bill_Brasky_
I can guess.
/r/TheRedPill
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level 4
Durbee
Yeah, this smacks of trickle truth.
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level 3
pristineass
Sometimes people become radicalized by fringe groups. Has he been hanging out with any new
people? Going to new websites or meetups? "Women didn't vote" may be just the beginning. This is
a very extreme thing to say that a normal person would mindful enough to not tell their girlfriend,
unless it had become vital to their personal dogma.
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level 3
Glewellin
What happens if you have daughters with him down the line? They will grow up fucked up and
inferior feeling.
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level 3
SmoothieStrawberry
I can’t imagine not having this person in my life anymore...
Sounds like he's already gone if his way of thinking/beliefs have shifted so drastically. Mourn the loss
and move on. I guarantee you'll find someone who will respect you, your opinions, and your value as
a woman and a human being!
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level 3
riptide81
I really want to have some sympathy here. You solve this one you may just save the country, lol.
You hear about it so much these days. People get trapped down these internet rabbit holes and get
spoon fed some ideology or another until they are fully indoctrinated. There are plenty of articles
about the psychological incentives for such behavior.
If you deem him worth one more solid try I'd suggest getting him to unplug for awhile. Maybe a
vacation to a remote spot without wifi?
After he has been cut off from his drug supply of that sweet sweet self-affirming feedback loop see if
he can been reasoned with.
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level 3
kenz-chip
He said he didn't want to tell you because he would lose you. What makes you think he isn't hiding
other misogynist opinions? Btw, don't waste your time asking- he knows to lie about it.
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level 3
z0ra_
Hey OP, I don't know if you'll see this but I don't blame you for being confused! I would be confused.
It's hard to separate someone you love from the person they really are sometimes, especially if
they've changed over the years you've known them. Please don't feel like an idiot. As an outsider
looking in, my immediate thought was also to leave him. Purely because I don't see how someone
who believes women shouldn't be allowed to vote will, as you said, value your opinion, even if he
said he said you should get a vote. It seems extremely telling to me that he would so easily
generalise an entire gender. It just doesn't feel good. I don't want to assume anything, but it seems
likely he would've added the line about thinking you specifically should be allowed to vote because
he doesn't want to loose you. Maybe it's a good idea to pay closer attention to his opinions about
everything else, it just doesn't seem like this will be an isolated incident. I'm sorry, this is rough.
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level 3
artificialnocturnes
You're not a loser. This must be super confusing. Unfortunately, the internet has lead to a lot of
young men being radicalised :( Maybe you could look for some support groups/information?
Try r/menslib as a starting point.
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level 3
witchofspace66
He doesn't see you as a full human being deserving of the rights he has. I'd say the writing is very
much on the wall for this relationship. If he doesn't see you as a full human being, how is that going
to affect his treatment of you going forward?
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level 3
ertuene
I had a long term partner surprise me with something that seemed so out of character, I was
completely blown away.
I felt like a fool for not seeing it, but what was I supposed to believe? We loved each other, of course
I believed him. Of course I thought he was a good person.
Turns out we can really subconsciously select what we believe about someone, especially when we
love them. It’s not your fault that you saw all the nice bits. But now you have to do the hard thing and
run away, because that is some bizarro Handmaid’s Tale crap.
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level 2
ShrimpCrackers
This is not only a deal breaker as a boyfriend, seems like a deal breaker as a friend. I would not
associate with someone who feels certain people, simply by gender, shouldn't have a voice.
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level 1
christiangreyisdraco
but now I just feel as though he doesn’t even value my own input/views
Well yeah, of course. He sees you as a lesser being and a non-human. So why would he value your
views?
Break up immediately. Seeing you as subhuman and wanting to deprive you of basic human rights is
a fundamental incompatibility.
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level 2
SatanV3
Idk it’s the whole women can’t be allowed to vote/work/etc “but you’re different”! I hate being told
that. They are basically saying that they are sexist to women in general, unless they know the
woman personally and close to her- cuz then it’s “you’re not like the other girls” and it’s just so sexist.
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level 3
DekkarMoonbootz
“You’re not like other girls” I am the amalgamation of every girl I ever thought was cool my guy, and
there’s been a lot of them.
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level 4
pineapplebattle
I love this!!! Adopting it. Thanks for being a part of my amalgamation!!
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level 4
JustHereForCookies17
This is such a wholesome, wonderful comment. Props to you and the women and girls who've
influenced you. May you be just as awesome an influence on others! You already are to me :-)
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level 2
Mercurycandie
Yeah this is pretty crazy to have someone that legitimately believes this stuff. I can't even imagine
what else he could eventually grow into.
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level 3
Aggressivecleaning
Beatings when dinner is late.
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level 4
PeverseRolarity
5 children borne of spousal rape.
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level 3
xoxoLizzyoxox
I am sure he will bring race into it too soon. Maybe only white men should vote only because you
know, they never fucked up anything in America. Its all those women presidents and all those
different nationality presidents that have messed up america. Gosh maybe we should give the white
men a chance to be president for once.
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level 1
AGentlemaninTulsa
Yes you are wrong to be questioning your relationship. You should be getting the hell out of Dodge.
It sounds like he's gone off the deep end.
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level 2
lore333
He is such a big NOPE that OP is still in shock.
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level 2
LilBabyADHD
Late 20s Female315 points·9 hours ago·edited 8 hours ago
he's in fucking outer space, questioning female suffrage as if women are less human than men...
OP, you deserve so much better than a man so insecure in himself and his beliefs that he has to
blame the opposite sex for the fact that most of the world thinks differently from him.
please, for the love of god, do not take any solace in this:
He has assured me that he still thinks that I should be allowed to vote but that women in general
should not...
eventually he'll change his mind about you. it's inevitable. you're not really the exception, it's just
something nice for him to say now. eventually he'll say you actually follow the rule- it's not like you'd
vote any differently than him, right (/s)? and even if you were the exception, how could his beliefs
possibly justify that long term? legitimately, what's his ideal world order? that no women get to vote,
except you?
HIS SHITTY VIEWS DO NOT DESERVE AN OUNCE OF YOUR TOLERANCE. this is especially
important to remember as he’s being barely tolerant of you.
i don't even need to know anymore about you to know that you are worth at least 100 of your
boyfriends. i'm so sorry that someone you care about has gone down such a dark path. i'm not trying
to diagnose him with anything, but as you separate yourself from him, you might find some solace in
support groups for people dealing with partners who have severe mental illness, delusions, or
extreme and illogical beliefs.
if he at all gets aggressive or violent, do what you need to do to protect yourself. ghost him if you
have to, involve the police. don't go talk to him alone or in private spaces. please, please protect
yourself: you are worth it. i truly hope it doesn't come to any of that, but just protect yourself.
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level 3
rwl12345
Yep, that's essentially saying "only women who agree with/I know personally should be allowed to
vote". If he's come to this ideology I can only imagine what else he's keeping to himself
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level 4
whiskeyshift
She should vote him out of her life.
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level 3
StarvingMuse
Ugh, he is pulling the 'you are one of the good ones, all the rest though..." Ew. He doesn't just think
women shouldn't be allowed to vote, he thinks women have ruined the country. And has been
holding that view for a while, not telling OP only because she might leave him. Wtf?
Also, just because he thinks you are one of the 'good' ones, does not mean he views you are an
equal. What else does he think women should be doing? Does he also think women should not have
a say in their own lives, that they need a man to think for them because we are all silly and
irrational? Seems such thoughts all go hand in hand...
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level 2
Zombiefoetus
And these are the type of morons voting. I fear for this country.
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level 3
RoyalHummingbird
Some of them are our legislators. What a scary thought.
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level 1
jrai86
I seriously doubt that a man who thinks women shouldn't be allowed to vote is good in all other
ways. He's clearly a misogynist. Do you really want to raise little girls with a man who thinks like he
does? This is a deal breaker.
He says not you, just women in general. That's not true. If he could take away every women's right to
vote including yours, I bet he'd do it in a second. This guy is poison. What would your mother, or
sister, or friends say if they knew he believed this? What would you say to them if their partner told
them he believed this?
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level 2
scarletnightingale
Not to mention raising little boys to be exactly like him, believing that their mother or sisters' opinions
and thoughts are worth less than their own. It isn't just little girls, it is children in general.
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level 2
jackjackj8ck
god I didn’t even think about what if they had children together
Imagine your own father viewing you as an inferior human
Horrible
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level 3
ShrieK33
It would probably be a matter of time until he started to overrule all her decisions he didnt agree with
regarding the kids. Im not married but me and my gf live together for 6 years now, we have an
almost 4 year old son, we just decided no to marry. I really dont agree with how she votes 90% of
the time but not once did i think: "man she's screwing the country with that dumb vote, better if they
take away her right to vote." If anything im always telling her to not forget to vote in the upcoming
days to an election, i think it's very important everyone does even if i dont agree with who they vote
with. Sorry op but your boyfriend is toxic imo.
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level 3
CaptainRoph
My dad believed women were inferior and didn’t have to hide it from anyone because my mom
chose to except it. Like you OP could choose to accept it and continue a life with this utter waste of
oxygen and bring this misogyny into a whole new generation.
For me growing up was hard. I was always treated unfairly and frowned upon for just existing as a
women. Please don’t bring that on to yourself, let anyone else!
Luckily I somehow came out the other end hard as nails. And if I ever have a little girl or boy they are
going to know that awful people like OP’s partner exist, but that we NEVER have to put up with that
bullshit.
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level 3
team_sita
It fucks you up for a long time. It's learning you're valid as a person but always doubting it.
Hugs to any who know that.
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level 4
backtoblack6-J
It sucks to be told to your face ‘you will never make it very far in life, women never do’ by the man
you’re supposed to call ‘dad’...
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level 5
team_sita
It really does. But imo it says more about what a weak person and awful parent that dad is.
Purposely trying to hold your daughter back due to your own insecurities is fucking evil.
I hope you know you deserve so much more and that making progress on something like this just
shows how much you love yourself and love others. You could be just as cold and you're not. Not
everyone is judging us like our dads do. Not everyone is so full of malicious intent and pathological
pain. That's completely on them. Imo he doesn't deserve a relationship with you nor the chance to
claim your success despite him. You're so wonderful and so worthy of love and your boundaries.
It's not your fault. Feel free to hit me up if you want. Also, the some of subs dealing with abusive
parents has helped.
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level 6
backtoblack6-J
Thank you for your kind comment. I haven’t spoken to him in 6 months actually, every day is better
without him. Peace :)
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level 3
Ardito_Valentin
many of us don't have to imagine
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level 2
xoxoLizzyoxox
I agree with all this.
Saying what women have done to the country. Who is the current leader of america? Who have all
the past leaders of america have been? How many presidents have been women to put the country
into the state its in? Clearly he isnt the brightest in the bunch and if he has been slipping into this
crazy crap, probably from watching radicals on youtube who base everything on made up data that
they create to fit their agenda. Id run if I were you. Honestly, he will probably be telling you that you
cant work, have to stay in the kitchen, dont speak unless spoken to, that you are just to breed with.
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level 3
JMoc1
Obviously this person is suffering from an extreme case of alt-right radicalization. The worse part is, I
know exactly who on YouTube he probably heard this from. Black Pigeon and Stefan Moyxeue.
Unless he can watch other videos conflicting with his views; like ContraPoints, Shaun, or Faraday
Speaks; I think he’s too far gone.
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level 1
ashhybabes
Hi, yes, just throw the whole man out.
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level 1
hintersly
If he believes women shouldn’t vote he might also believe that they shouldn’t work and should stay
at home to take care of the family (which is valid if you want but you shouldn’t have to which is what
he may believe)
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level 2
dragonfliesloveme
I was thinking this, too because if a woman is working, she’s paying income tax. So if he’s ok with a
woman working, that means he thinks women should pay taxes but not be able to vote. Or he thinks
women shouldn’t work.
Either one of those scenarios is unacceptable
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level 1
wizardofoz2244
As his girlfriend am I supposed to be tolerant and respectful of his views even though I may
(strongly) disagree? I can’t tell if I’m overreacting to this or not. The whole situation has made me
feel terrible and I’m so confused.
NO - it's not your job to be tolerant of someone who doesn't respect you as a person.
and
NO you are not overreacting
GET OUT NOW!
Once you're out of the relationship, you're going to look back on it and think - how didn't I see the
signs earlier?
<in case you're a troll> Don't you really have anything better to do with your time? There are plenty
of naked pictures for you to pleasure yourself over at /r/gonewild
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level 2
randomaccount1775
Yes I feel like I might be blinded to things right now because this is all so sudden and I’ve loved this
person for so long.. I probably have missed signs and I just feel so lousy because what if I’ve been
letting this person control me and I had no idea?! Ugh I feel like everything is crashing down around
me
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level 3
wizardofoz2244
Better to find out now than 1 or (worse) 5 more years in the future!
It makes your head explode and likely also makes you wondering what else hasn't come up in 5
years !?!??!
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level 1
throwawaypizzaslices
It is not irrational to not want an intimate relationship with someone who obviously sees you and your
sex as subservient and lesser to his. Period.
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level 1
prettyorganist
Yeah so difference in political beliefs is I think the government should pay for college and health
care versus I think college tuition and health care should be totally privatized. It's not a harkening back
to the 19th century where half the population is property... Actually, more than half considering black
men gained the right to vote technically but not actually. He cray. Get out.
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level 1
traggie
As his girlfriend am I supposed to be tolerant and respectful of his views even though I may
(strongly) disagree?
Question: let's say you are tolerant and respectful of his (sexist AF) views. Would he extend that to
you as well? As your boyfriend, would he also be tolerant and respectful of your views? I suspect he
wouldn't, precisely because of the (sexist AF) views that you would work so hard to tolerate.
Here's the thing. I think a lot of people think that being in love or being in a relationship means you
should tolerate flaws and forgive mistakes, but then they use that to justify staying in really really
horrible relationships. It's important to accept your partner isn't perfect - maybe he's not into your
favorite band or his teeth are a little crooked or he's really terrible at cooking. But some things go
beyond "he's not perfect" and end up in "something is seriously wrong here" territory. For example,
abuse of any kind is really really bad. If your partner tries to beat and choke you, you shouldn't pass
that off as "he's not perfect but I love him". You should leave because that is a dangerous situation.
In your case, your boyfriend believes women are below men, which is bound to bring up issues since
you are a woman and he is a man. This isn't a harmless belief that you should tolerate and respect
because this type of belief affects all of his interactions with women and subsequently all of his
interactions with you. And at the root of this belief, he believes he is fundamentally better than you,
which is not a great foundation for a healthy partnership. Even if you are "the exception", he
essentially believes that you were born with the same shortcomings as all other women - you just
somehow managed to overcome them. I wouldn't be surprised if he changed his mind about you
being "the exception" the second you two have a fight. I know it's hard to reconcile the boyfriend
you've known for 5 years with this new person who says women shouldn't vote, but as a woman, this
type of misogyny is something you should take seriously. You definitely are not overreacting.
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level 1
AJTheApple
My best advice: break up with him, ASAP. I know that's difficult, but that's the same thing as saying
black people shouldn't be allowed to vote, gay people shouldn't be allowed to vote, etc. While in all
other ways it may 'seem' perfect, he definitely has problems, and relationships like this will ALWAYS
end up badly. Do not stay with him, don't rationalize the situation, don't try to change him, it's over.
He views your, and all other women's political opinion, as inferior. There is no way your relationship
will work out long-term with both of you being happy as long as he has this ideology.
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level 1
ImNotOpposed
You're not over reacting. Your long term boyfriend just admitted he's a mysogynist with extreme
political views. Right now he may be saying "oh, but you're different!". But what about as he finds
more people with these extreme views? What about your mother, your female friends, if you ever
had a daughter - do you want this man spreading his view that they're incompetent. I'm sorry and
this sucks but he can't be a partner if he thinks he's your superior.
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level 1
Glen_SK
Dateline 2015... Conservative Saudi Arabia has held an unprecedented election, with women
voting and standing as candidates for the first time.
Good heavens, your boyfriend is more conservative on women's issues than Saudi Arabia. How do
you look in a burka?
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level 1
sarahsushi22
My dad is similar, but extreme in a different way. He’s very into conspiracy theories and it’s almost
consumed him. My parents have almost divorced because of this. I asked my mom if there were any
signs of this behavior when they were dating and she said no, and if she had known she would have
thought longer and harder bout her decision to marry him.
Politics shouldn’t be a deciding factor in a relationship, but political views can say a lot about the
person and your comparability with them. I hope that he will not become like my dad. His relationship
with his kids is strained at best. I haven’t talked with him for 2 weeks. Good luck, OP
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level 1
sometimes_I_writestf
First, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I can tell that this sudden change is weighing heavily
on you. Second, if you were black, would you date a member of the KKK, even if he said “in general
black people are inferior but you are the exception?” This same scenario applies to even if he didn’t
start out as a racist but eventually became one. I’ve been married for a while, and let me tell you, if
your equality to him as a full partner is a “non-negotiable” in your future marriage, then you need to
leave the relationship. Because in the end, all you have left between you and your spouse is your
values. If your values don’t line up, it will cause problems in your marriage. And if his value is based
in your inferiority as a gender, it will ruin your life.
P.S.- I’m not saying this as speculation. I come from a Middle Eastern American culture where many
of my friend’s dads are like your friend and no one- not the wife (or slave like they seem to me),
children, or even dad is happy.
This boy needs to work out his own issues and ask himself why he hates women so much and what
it means to his own sense of superiority. In the meantime, I highly recommend you stay away, or at
least go to a couple’s therapist if you’re that against leaving him. Either way, if you’re going to marry
him, this is no small “we’ll figure it out when we get there” situation.
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level 1
hurricane-katreena
You’re one of the good ones, but no other women should be allowed to vote. You mother, sisters,
friends, mentors, etc ruined our country and don’t deserve the right to vote.
Leave, this is intolerable.
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level 1
OceansOfUmbrellas
I sincerely hope this is not the type of person you want to raise children of any gender with.
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level 1
ripemango130
Into the trash he goes
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level 1
sjp9619
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I would dump his ass. That’s not a minor issue that you can
brush aside. He has basically told you he doesn’t think your opinion matters and that you and every
other female should not be full participants in American society. WTF
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level 1
theshadowking8
He is one of the reasons why the handmaid's tale can happen.
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level 1
erratic_hours
There are plenty of "views" and "opinions" no one needs to be respectful or tolerant of. This is one of
them. 50%+ of the population, really???? Tell him to go fuck a cactus and peace out.
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level 1
Cherryapplefox
Be grateful you found out now before you got married. Who knows what other crazy sexist views he
has.
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level 1
Acceptable_Recipe
This is so ridiculous that I don't believe it isn't another troll post.
But on the off chance, you think you can't be mad that your partner believes you should be a second
class citizen? Like, you're a step above a literal animal, or property, to him.
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level 2
randomaccount1775
I’m sorry if you don’t believe me, but this is someone I’ve been with for nearly 5 years now, it’s kind
of shattering to find this out so suddenly. I’m afraid to lose everything else that we have together so
I’m probably falsely rationalizing it all by saying I should try to be respectful of his views. But yes I
see that in fact he’s not being remotely respectful to me or all women for that matter. Idk this is all
extremely upsetting and I just wanted some outside opinions to make sure I wasn’t being crazy...
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My (25 F) Boyfriend (24 M) of 5 Years Just Disclosed To Me That He Does Not Believe Women Should Be Allowed To Vote

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My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just

I don't think he gets a vote on whether you stick around.

THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY

You’re not afraid of losing him.

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