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volume 44 / issue 10
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Ryerson’s Independent Paper
Since 1967


2 The Eyeopener Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bring Us Your
BOOKSWe Will Sell Them For You

Student Centre, 55 Gould St. •

The Used Book Room, a consignment used bookstore. Run by students, for students.

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you ever wondered what you’d spend $50 on, if
only you had $50?
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Wednesday, November 10, 2010 NEWS The Eyeopener 3

Ryerson security tend to a bleeding woman who was sent to hospital for injuries to her face after being hit by a car. PHOTO: CHELSEA POTTAGE

‘I don’t know if she is dead or alive’
Woman sent to hospital after being hit by a Toyota Camry at Church and Gould intersection
BY BRAD WHITEHOUSE she heard the impact. hitting a car. It sounded like some- “She’s okay,” Hrebenak said. “She lice the driver, who would not provide
ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR “I heard a really loud, loud noise, thing metallic.” just has to go to hospital to get his name, had a green light when the
and when I looked, pieces of the car She called 911 and walked out into checked out.” pedestrian crossed into traffic.
An unidentified woman was hit by were flying and there was this body the street towards the woman. “I’m going to the hospital to see “She jumped in front of the car,”
a car on Ryerson campus at the inter- “I told her that an ambulance was what the extent of her injuries are, said the driver, who was visibly shak-
section of Church and Gould streets coming, and her eyes were open but en by the accident.
around noon Nov. 9. As the woman she wasn’t responding. I saw a lot of “He was driving normally,” Kostic
crossed the street, she was hit a car The body was actually blood around her head.” She jumped in front of said. “It was a green light. We were
travelling north on Church Street. flying... it was shocking Police weren’t able to identify the the car. right behind him.”
“The body was actually fly- to see. woman, since she had no photo ID in — driver of the Camry The driver was too shaken
ing,” said Svedlana Kostic, who — Svedlana Kostic, her purse, but officer Vlad Hrebenak to drive home, and had to wait for
was a passenger in the car directly eyewitness said the victim “appeared to be colleagues to come pick him up.
behind the car that hit the woman.“It homeless and a crack addict.” “How do you expect me to feel?”
was shocking to see.” just lying in the road,” she said. The woman was taken to hospital but it doesn’t matter because [the the driver said. “There is a human be-
Ryerson student Andrea Senchuk “It was a pretty scary sound when to be treated for “superficial injuries” driver] is not at fault,” he said. ing on the ground. I don’t know if she
was waiting at the intersection when she got hit. It didn’t sound like a body to her face, said Hrebenak. Hrebenak said witnesses told po- is dead or alive.”

Student to challenge $4 tuition increase in wake of referendum
BY EMMA PRESTWICH of the WUSC executive, said the did approach the board with the
organization didn’t break any rules proposal, the local WUSC committee
The referendum to increase during its campaign. made plans to hold a referendum a
student fees by $4 annually may “It seems to me the reason he’s long time ago.
have passed, but one student will appealing is that he isn’t satisfied He also said he thinks the student
not take yes for an answer. with the results,” Habib said. levy money will be used to support
Karol Pawlina, the third-year A challenge of the results has future student refugees, as he now
biomedical engineering student to be received within a week, works two jobs and no longer relies
who spearheaded the ‘No’ cam- according to Catherine Redmond, on the WUSC program for support.
paign, said he plans to launch an ap- assistant secretary of the Board of “I’m on OSAP, I’m kind of grown up
peal to the Ryerson Board of Gover- now,” Byamungu said.“You grow and
nors to have the referendum results become independent and provide
thrown out. for yourself, it always feels better.”
“If they can’t find stable funding, It seems to me the While students were torn on the
we shouldn’t fund it at all,” Pawlina reason he’s appealing referendum results, only 10 per cent
said. is that he isn’t satisfied of Ryerson students voted in the ref-
Last week’s referendum passed by with the results. erendum and some said they didn’t
210 votes, with 1,302 voting yes and — Jacky Habib, even know about it.
1,092 voting no. A third option to de- WUSC Executive “I live under a rock, I have no idea
cline to vote drew 57 students. what you’re talking about,” said first-
Pawlina, who said he disagrees year student Wendy Tam.
with the $4 student levy on the prin- Governors. While Byamungu said he wished
ciple of involuntary donation, said After 10 days, the Elections WUSC had more time and resources
he can appeal on the grounds that Procedure Committee issues a to reach more students, Pawlina said
the ‘Yes’ side broke campaign rules. decision, which “is final and not sub- he thinks that his posters, which
His complaints include claims ject to appeal,” Redmond said. appeared about a week before the
that the World University Service of There is also no cap on how much referendum, had an impact on the
Canada (WUSC) committee spent money a referendum group can close vote.
more than their $500 campaign limit spend, she added. “Students wouldn’t know about
and they used their own committee Pawlina also takes issue with the the referendum if it wasn’t for me,”
funds. fact that Gerard Byamungu, the first Pawlina said, adding that while he
He also claims refugee program student to be sponsored by the trusts the boards’ judgment, he
supporters tore down his black- student refugee program, put for- thinks he would win a bid to appeal.
and-white posters and bribed ward the proposal and would also “If [the appeal] succeeds, then I do
students with “Timbits for votes.” be benefitting from the money. have reason to question the results,”
Jacky Habib, one of the members But Byamungu said while he Pawlina added. Karol Pawlina will appeal the referendum results. PHOTO: CHELSEA POTTAGE
4 The Eyeopener EDITORIAL Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Have your say (and eat it too) Go to for a chance to win $50

In 2009, 4,754 students voted BOG and Senate are as easy as a click
in the referendum to add $126 to of a mouse. And if you really want
annual fees towards a new athletics to have a meaningful say in how
facility. Seventy-five per cent voted your money is spent, show up for
‘Yes’ and now we have Maple Leaf the Ryerson Students’ Union’s semi-
Gardens to show for it. annual general meeting on Nov. 10
I know most of you don’t give a at 5 p.m. Aside from the free dinner,
In a tight 54-43 margin, students rat’s ass about Ryerson politics and petty student politics make for good
voted ‘Yes’ in support of funding a governance. And why should you? entertainment and with only about
refugee program at Ryerson and rais- One student is a blip on the mighty 100 students voting your opinion
ing tuition fees by $4 annually. With Board of Governors’ (BOG) radar. But might actually make a difference.
2,451 ballots cast, about 10 per cent there are small ways a student can
Want to declare your undying love for me?
of Ryerson bothered to vote. effectively be heard. Voting in refer- Email letters to
We could do better. endums and for your board reps on or tweet @murphyhiggins

AU student Rabia in Toronto, ON

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Want to be an Eyeopener editor? online and at a distance, many
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Love hard news and soft porn? Want to get paid to shit disturb? Think you are far your degree.
more intelligent (and attractive) than the neanderthals who run this joint? Well, lucky
for you masthead positions are up for grabs. Any Ryerson student can run for a paid Learn more at
editorial gig. Drop by SCC 207 for details. Election is Nov. 25 at 7 p.m. location TBA.

UP FOR GRABS: Features (1)
News (2) Business (1)
Associate News (1) Photo (1)
Sports (1) Media (1)

The Eyeopener
Shannon “GOD SQUAD” Higgins Megan “2 ASSISTS” Higgins Jackie “DISCHARGE” Marchildon
Lee “REAL POETS FEEL PAIN” Richardson Kai “LANKY MAN” Benson Scoop W. “THE” Gerbil
Mariana “SALSA QUEEN” Ionova Colton “SCRUFF” Eddy
ASSOCIATE NEWS Matt “WERK” Prescott Oxman
Brad “GIRLS ARE CRUDE” Whitehouse Jordan “SCRAMERS” White
Kiera “I LOVE BALLS” Toffelmire
Tasha “MORPH” Zanin
Sam “UNDERDOG” Rashid Teach English
Matthew “STAY STRONG” Braga
Alan “RICKMAN” Hudes
Brian “YOU AGAIN” Boudreau
Gianluca “HEY HEY YOU YOU” Inglesi Sarah “DISGUISED” Del Giallo
PHOTO Emma “RUNNING?” Prestwich
Lauren “SCHOOL SUXS” Strapagiel Bethany “SELL YOURSELF” Nemers
Marta “MY TWO AUNTS” Iwanek Ian “WHO THE FUCK IS IAN”Vandaelle TESOL/TESL Teacher Training
ASSOCIATE PHOTO Sonia “BIRTHDAY EX” Straface Certification Courses
Chelsea“LOVES CHUCK BASS” Pottage Elliot “AVID FAN” Wajchendler
• Intensive 60-Hour Program
FUN Vidya “CHOSEN ONE” Kauri
Kats “FLEAS OF 1000 CAMELS” Quinto Erica “CALORIE TRAP” Scime • Classroom Management Techniques
COMMUNITY • Detailed Lesson Planning
Allyssia “PUMPKIN JUICER” Alleyne Playing the role of the • ESL Skills Development
Annoying Talking Coffee Mug this • Comprehensive Teaching Materials
ONLINE MEDIA week... The harsh sands of time.
Chris “FC PRO STAR” Dale Four weeks is not enough. Tear. • Interactive Teaching Practicum
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Wednesday, November 10, 2010 NEWS The Eyeopener 5

By the
In the Ontario Universities:
Going Greener 2010 report,
20 Ontario universities were
asked what they think of stu-
dent involvement in advanc-
ing campus sustainability.

Thought the student com-
munity is a key driver of
change, compared to 46% in
the 2009 report.

Thought students have the The 10,000 square-foot green roof of the George Vari Engineering building is one of Ryerson’s green initiatives. PHOTO COURTESY OF RYERSON
chance to contribute in solv-

And the green get greener
ing sustainability challenges
as part of their on-campus
living arrangements and/or
extracurricular activities.

New provincial report measures how much universities are doing to be sustainable

Thought students, while not

Ryerson is one of 20 Ontario
data from 2009 and 2010 and
compares the two to determine
how much progress universities
roof of the George Vari Engineer-
ing building, an award winning
installation that covers 10,000
green space in the downtown
core and received the Ameri-
can Institute of Architects 2010
being able to directly drive universities looking to become have made. square-feet of the roof. Institute Honor Award for Re-
the decision-making process, greener and more sustainable, Ryerson has been aiming for But Levy maintained that, to gional and Urban Design.
are a key part in developing according to a provincial report. a more sustainable campus for create a truly sustainable cam- Ryerson’s food has also been
new strategies and goals. The Council of Ontario released some time, according to Ryerson pus, the university must con- shifting towards sustainabil-
their annual “Going Greener” President Sheldon Levy. stantly push forward with new ity in recent years. The univer-

report this week, which looks “Every time we take on a proj- initiatives. sity has improved recycling by
at sustainability initiatives and ect, we are thinking about [the ”It’s not something you can hiring a specialty company that
what Ontario universities are do- environment],” he said. ever take your eye off of, and picks up used cooking oil, while
ing to improve green ventures Ryerson has won a number of you have to always believe that campus food services have been
Thought the involvement on campus. sustainability awards in the past everyone is contributing to the using bio-degradable take-
of students in finding solu- The report, which is based several years, including a Garden same end in your community,” out containers in the cafeterias
tions to the sustainability on statistics from 20 Ontario of Recognition Award earlier this Levy said. since 2005, according to the
challenges that universities universities on measures such year, a Bicycle-Friendly Business “When we look at every build- department of Administration
face should be encouraged as recycling, water efficiency Award in 2009 and three Ontario ing, we look if we can get to gold, and Finance.
with specially designed edu- upgrades and purchasing crite- Waste Minimization Awards in or platinum [standards],” he said. The International Living
cational and/or research pro- ria. The data is used to examine the last five years. Levy cited the green roof, the Learning Centre (ILLC) has
grams. whether universities are trying The university has been work- elimination of bottled water and also been praised by the Hotel
to become greener, creating ing to improve sustainabil- Ryerson’s “Master Plan” as exam- Association of Canada for imple-
— LEE RICHARDSON more sustainable spaces and ity through initiatives like the ples of the university’s commit- menting sustainable practices
encouraging ethical purchasing environmental sustainability ment to future sustainability. in training, management and
habits. certificate available through the Ryerson’s “Master Plan” waste reduction.
This year’s report contains Chang School and the green includes plans for creating more

Levy says no to thousands in potential online advertising revenue
BY VIDYA KAURI one hour, according to statistics traffic it receives. dents opt for offline advertising tising to Ryerson’s website. He
by the Computing and Commu- But Levy says this isn’t enough tactics like setting up booths, vaguely recalls one conversa-
Ryerson could be missing out nications Services (CCS). cash to entice him. distributing flyers and collecting tion about it among university
on up to $46, 000 each year be- “If you added two more ze- data. staff some time ago.
cause the university does not ro’s I’m not interested. Even at “No one was really excited
sell advertising space on its $150,000 I’m not interested,” he about it,” he says.
my.ryerson portal. ...tell them to go said. One reason why Ryerson is
“It never occurred to me. No knock on some other “So if someone’s got some Some people would not interested is because it
one’s ever approached me on it university’s doors. great idea, tell them to go knock object to having would take the focus away from
and I’ve never seen it done by — Sheldon Levy, on some other university’s door.” advertising [on the the university itself.
any Canadian university,” said Ryerson president Even though nearly everyone website]. “Part of the issue is that it
Sheldon Levy, Ryerson president. in the Ryerson community uses — Brian Lesser, CCS is very much about Ryerson’s
The high-traffic login portal The cost for online advertis- the portal, the site would face brand,” Lesser said.
receives an average of 5,046 ing is usually determined by us- tough competition from major “Some people would object to
sessions each day, which could ing the Cost Per Mille/Thousand sites like Yahoo and MSN, which There are a number of Ameri- having advertising there.”
make it attractive to advertis- (CPM) model and the price for receive higher daily traffic and can universities who have out- And Levy is one of those peo-
ers targeting the student demo- each thousand hits generally would provide advertisers with sourced services like email using ple. He said advertising should
graphic. The numbers are much ranges from $10 to $25, accord- more exposure. Google and Microsoft applica- be limited to university events
higher in September when stu- ing to Jonathan Tick, managing Tick said this limited traffic tions. However, they all have and communicating with stu-
dents are still registering and partner at Campus Marketing makes companies choose to ad- agreements that state there will dents.
faculty members are managing Agency. This means the univer- vertise on corporate websites be no advertising on their sites. “I don’t see it, unless it’s for
online courses. Last Septem- sity could be raking in anywhere instead of university websites. Brian Lesser, acting director at selling Ryerson sweatshirts from
ber, there were over 5,000 users between $1,500 and $3,700 per Most of the time, advertisers CCS, said there has never been a the bookstore or something like
logged in within the space of month considering how much looking to entice university stu- serious initiative to bring adver- that,” Levy said.
6 The Eyeopener NEWS Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A very special seasonal
message the news team
If you enjoy paign poster — the
researching and funnier the better.
benefitting from Then you’ll have to
tragic injuries and come to the elections
deaths, you should on Nov. 25 at 7 p.m
run to work in the with a short speech
Eyeopener news promoting yourself.
department. To be able to vote
Due to the current you have to have at
news team being least four contribu-
hired as bed testers, tions, which could
two news editor posi- be writing an article,
tions and one associ- taking a photo, or
ate news editor posi- copy-editing. You
tion are opening up, can vote for yourself,
so we’re looking for so we advise contrib-
people to take over. uting while you can.
To run, you’ll have
to visit the office — Love your friend-
Voters voice their opinion at the last RSU Semi-Annual General Meeting in November 2009. FILE PHOTO
and sign a nominee ly and very, very cool
form and bring an News team
A4 (8.5 x 11) cam-
Sexual assault hotline, student space on table for SAGM
BY IAN VANDAELLE RSU President Toby Whitfield is also expressed hope that the
hoping the SAGM will allow stu- hotline would get off the ground.
Sexual assault, street closures dents to express their opinions “There’s always a need for a stu-
The RSU and RyePRIDE present:
and student space; the Ryer- on how Ryerson is being run. dent run initiative like [the sexu-

Christopher Skinner
son Students’ Union (RSU) aims “We often get lots of good feed- al assault hotline]”
to tackle them all at their Semi- back and it’s an opportunity for A motion to create a com-
Annual General Meeting on students to provide new ideas mittee to review student space
Wednesday Nov 10. Motions aim- and suggestions,” Whitfield said. on campus will also be voted

ing to keep Gould Street closed The motion for a peer-run on during the meeting. The
past September 2011, start a sex- sexual assault hotline comes committee, if approved, would
ual assault support line and the after an increase in concern have five members appointed
creation of an ad-hoc committee about safety on campus in the and approved during the RSU

on student space are the main meeting.
focus of the meeting. Though Gould Street is closed
The RSU has also tabled a on a one-year temporary trial,
motion to change referendum It’s an opportunity for the RSU is hoping to lobby the
voting from the current online students to provide new city to permanently close Gould
system to a paper ballot. After a ideas and suggestions. Street to traffic. If the motion is
number of technical difficulties — Toby Whitfield, approved, the executives will ac-
in the last referendum, the RSU RSU President tively work to keep Gould Street This bursary recognises queer & trans students
has indicated that a paper bal- as a specialized pedestrian-only who have demonstrated a commitment to the queer
lot would be more reliable. The wake of an alleged sexual as- area.
RSU has not indicated if the low sault in Pitman Hall about two Other motions address the
and/or trans communities through activism at
turnout numbers in the last ref- months ago, and fears that oth- lack of usable dance space on Ryerson or in the community.
erendum was due to technology er sexual assaults on campus campus and raising awareness

failure. are going unreported. Whitfield about university budget cuts.

Acting like a bunch of fools Apply and Tell Us!
• Must be a self-identified gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans person
• Must be enrolled in a full-time undergraduate
or graduate degree program at Ryerson University for 2010-2011
• Willing to work with RyePRIDE on initiative to combat

Deadline is Nov 23, 2010
@ Noon
For more info or the application

Submit your application for consideration to:
Gilary Massa, Equity & Campaigns Organiser
Ryerson Students’ Union
c/o Queer Bursary
55 Gould St. SCC311
Third-year Theatre School students act subtle on Gould Street. For more information check out
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 NEWS The Eyeopener 7

You know mid-semester ex-
haustion is kicking in when
someone forces their way into
a Tim Hortons kiosk. Nothing
of value was stolen from the
kiosk in the Ted Rogers busi-
ness building, though there
was delicious chocolate syrup
poured all over the counters
and cabinets. This is a travesty.

Security went to a Kerr Hall
classroom to see if a hippie-
looking man found bagging
drugs last week would return.
Sure enough, he was in the ex-
act same room exactly a week
after being caught. He had
38g of marijuana in small in-
Khadija Boulaftali is still waiting to move home after a fire engulfed part of her apartment building in September. PHOTO: MARTA IWANEK
dividual bags and was charged
with possession for purpose

Homeless for the holidays of trafficking. From this we’ve
learned that hippies might not
be the brightest. This theory is
reinforced by all those hideous
tie-dye clothes that they wear.
Student left homeless after September’s Wellesley fire still doesn’t know when she can return home
Three mummies – the most
BY BRAD WHITEHOUSE ple are still out of a home, Hunter all of her essentials. be given to the residents at 200 pathetic of all monsters – were
ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR said at a press conference outside “They do retrieve some stuff for Wellesley,” Hunter said. found on campus, although
the building Friday. you, but they don’t let you actually North tower tenants also they weren’t trying to eat
More than seven weeks after an “It could be up to three months go in. So I didn’t get that much. I still received a $300 clothing allowance. people (or whatever it is that
apartment fire at 200 Wellesley St. before all of the tenants move in,” am basically out with nothing,” she Toronto Community Housing mummies do except wander
E., Khadija Boulaftali still hasn’t she said. said. said crews are working around the about a bit, like old people).
been able to return home. “All my stuff was in my place so clock to repair damage, but the They were just putting stickers
“All of us are hoping that may- I had to buy everything that I need. north tower hasn’t been approved up on the architecture building,
be by December we will be able It could be up to three My clothes, I had to get my cat’s by Toronto Public Health. which is a bit of a disappoint-
to move back in,” said BouLaftali, months before all of stuff, I had to buy all my shampoos, They’re in the process of clear- ment. Turns out that the web-
who is enrolled in the International the tenants move in. basically everything that you need ing out materials that got wet from site the stickers were promot-
Midwifery Pre-registration Program — Mitzie Hunter, for your self. But clothing is the battling the fire and reconstruction ing had homophobic and sexist
(IMPP) at the Chang School. Toronto Community main thing, [like] new shoes.” is underway on a couple of floors, material on it, which reinforces
Her apartment was on the seven- Housing Toronto Community Housing said Hunter. the fact that mummies are
teenth floor of the building’s north and the City of Toronto are cover-
tower, almost directly below the ing the costs of hotels for displaced
In a sad tale, the best com-
fire which broke out on the twenty- When the Eyeopener last spoke tenants, and are handing out food All of us are hoping
puter console ever — the N64
fourth floor. Most residents of the to Boulaftali, she was living with vouchers and TTC tokens, said that maybe by decem-
— was stolen from a room in
south tower returned home within some friends uptown. She had Hunter. ber we can move back
Pitman Hall. It had about 20
10 days of the fire, said Mitzie Hunt- trouble finding a hotel that would She added that $140,000 in in games and four controllers
er, chief administrative officer of let her stay with her cat but she cash and $8,000 in gift cards were —Khadija Boulaftali, with it, and was worth about
Toronto Community Housing. But was able to move into a hotel near donated. These donations are being Chang School student $100. Message to thief: You are
north tower residents and those on Church and Gould Streets a couple distributed to tenants this week. scum. P.S. If you ever want a
the twenty-fourth floor of the south of weeks ago. Each single-bedroom unit will “The building has taken a game of Mario Kart, you’re free
tower are still waiting to hear when The only thing workers were able receive $146. number of weeks to dry,” she said. to come to the Eyeopener’s
they can move back in. to retrieve from her apartment was “Every penny of the donations Hunter said the cause of the fire office, but I want to play as
This means that about 600 peo- her laptop. She has had to replace that Torontonians have given will has not yet been determined. Luigi.

A female student suffered

Laundry machines go coinless, students go crazy from a temporary loss of vision,
but she wasn’t taken to hospi-
tal, instead she said she’d go
BY BRAD WHITEHOUSE it was frozen. She tried troubleshoot- a hassle. Student say they’re left others have been tampered with, to the doctor by herself. Let’s
ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR ing by unplugging it and plugging it shortchanged when the machines and have had wires and plugs pulled hope she didn’t drive there.
back in, but didn’t have any luck. She malfunction.
In most cases, students are quick emailed the housing office, but was “I’m going to have to put more A student complained of
to jump on the latest technological told to “be patient.” money on my OneCard because I’m going to have to feeling faint after being in a
trend. But when it comes to their Wyllie’s mother also emailed the sometimes it’ll go through and it’ll put more money on my darkroom for three hours. We
laundry machines, they like to keep housing office. They told her mother take my money but it won’t say OneCard because some- wonder if they were brought
it plain and simple. that the machines were working, but ‘press start’,” said Stephanie Leyland, times it’ll go through and out wearing expensive sun-
After an electronic OneCard pay- a floor president in the ILLC. it’ll take my money but it glasses and speaking Spanish
ment system replaced the coin- Chad Nuttall, student housing won’t say ‘press start’ in something that looked like
operated laundry machines in resi- This OneCard system is manager, said computing and com- — Stephanie Leyland, a rocket.
dence this year, the housing office completely B.S. munication services (CCS) is trying Floor president
In the Eyeopener news team’s
received some angry complaints —Jordan Wyllie, to figure out why the machines are
favourite story of the week,
from students who said the ma- First-year student freezing. out of them. He said it might have
a large raccoon was found
chines keep freezing, taking their He currently has weekly meetings been caused by students trying rig
scaring children in the day-
money, and leaving them with a pile Wyllie said they weren’t fixed until with CCS and the OneCard office un- the machines.
care centre by walking around
of dirty laundry. days later. til the problem is solved. Nuttall said the switch to the On-
the playground. Well done,
“This OneCard system is com- “It wasn’t even the washer and But Nuttall said in some cases ecard system came with a new con-
pletely B.S.,” said Jordan Wyllie, a dryer that wasn’t working. It was that the machines aren’t simply break- tract this year. He said new machines
first-year dance student. one card thing,” she said. “Don’t lie ing down, they’ve been vandalized. were the number one issue for last — Lee Richardson
When she went to toss her laundry to my mom and say they’re working.” He said one OneCard reader was year’s students.
in the washing machine, she realized And for others, it’s more than just destroyed from vandalism, and that — Files from Christina Dun
8 The Eyeopener FEATURES Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Let s get physical

As busy university students, our bodies undergo harsh
treatment. Between partying, cramming for exams and
managing our schedules, we experience a great deal
of physical stress. But finding time to take care of our
health is not often a priority. Jackie Marchildon reveals
some of the lesser known facts about our bodies
In Canada, women are twice as likely
to develop depression than men.

Young people can develop middle-age related
conditions like hypertension, diabetes, obesity
and memory loss from chronic sleep loss. The risk of cardiovascular disease
is twice as high in women that snore
compared to women who do not snore.
On average, young adults produce between one
and three pints of saliva each day. Without
saliva in the mix, your taste buds cannot detect
taste. Don’t be embarrassed if you accidently
spit on someone during conversation, your
Our tongue is the strongest muscle,
body’s just ensuring you can enjoy some tasty
compared to its size, and it is the fastest
treats awaiting you at home.
healing muscle in our body. So while you
technically don’t need to worry about
the repercussions of healing a pierced
Because of the way your breasts fall tongue, you should try to keep sharp
when you sleep, all women have one objects out of your mouth.
breast that is larger than the other, so if
you’re feeling out of proportion, don’t
worry, you’re not alone.

Chances of a women getting
breast cancer are increased by A study published in the Journal of Sexual
excessive use of alcohol. Medicine, finds that women using the
birth control pill showed markedly
decreased levels of sexual desire than
Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), is a those women who do not use the birth
sexually transmitted infection, that can control pill.
lead to cervical cancer. The HPV vaccine is
recommended by some doctors for females
between the ages of 14 to 26-years-old. You may not like being hairy down
The vaccine can protect you against pap there, but pubic hair produces
abnormalities, genital warts and cervical pheromones, which are known to
cancer, all of which are associated with certain play a vital role in seduction and at-
strains of HPV infections. Males are carriers of traction. In waxing and shaving, you
HPV cells, though they remain dormant and do away with powerful signals that
cannot be detected. are programmed to seduce.

Your vagina can secrete 1/4 of a teaspoon
of discharge in 8 hours. So if you think
you are running like a hose down there, Your femur bone is stronger
don’t worry, that’s probably normal. than concrete.
Also remember that you discharge more
depending on where you are in your cycle. If
you are ovulating, you will discharge more.

If your red blood cell count is less than
If you smoke, the Pill is not a normal, you may end up with the
recommended form of birth control. The medical condition known as anemia, a
chance of developing a blood clot is much disease common among young people.
higher for habitual smokers. Often students assume they are just tired
because they are busy and stressed when
in fact they are anemic. Anemia primarily
causes you to get tired very easily, can
cause heart palpitations and increase the
paleness of your skin.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 FEATURES The Eyeopener 9

Applies to both
Applies only Applies only
males and
to females to males

Our brains are most active at night.
Staying up late cramming for midterms
may not be a bad thing.
Binge drinking as a young adult can
lead to long-term memory loss. Alcohol
consumption affects the hippocampus, The right side of the brain is
the part of your brain responsible for responsible for male arousal. The
learning and memory. Binge drinking part dedicated to sex is two and a
limits activity in the hippocampus, half times bigger than in women.
which hinders our ability to retain new
information. If we can’t remember Yes, we’re busybodies who rely on
information in a short-term setting, our Blackberries to keep us in check.
our brain cannot remember information But people who use cellphones
in the long-term. frequently are 2.5 times more likely to
develop cancer in areas of the brain
adjacent to the ear they use to talk on.
Limiting our usage can save us money
Human eyeballs weigh and promote good health.
approximately 28 grams and can
distinguish 500 shades of grey.
Since many students are avid
computer users, they are more
susceptible to developing eye
problems and irritation. We all know not getting enough sleep is
bad for our health, but what many do not
know, is that young people who do not
get enough sleep regularly can become less
sensitive to insulin. This means that your
Your stomach needs to body is more at risk for diabetes and high
produce a new layer of mucus blood pressure.
every 2 weeks in order to avoid
digesting itself.

About one out of every eight Canadian men
Smoking cigarettes can shorten is expected to develop prostate cancer
your penis by up to a centime- at some point in his life, making it the most
ter. According to Men’s Health common cancer seen in Canadian men.
Magazine, smoking calcifies Testicular cancer, though not as common,
blood vessels, which limits tends to be a disease seen mostly in young
circulation. Circulation is key to men. An undesceneded testis has a much
good blood flow and erections greater risk of developing cancer.
only happen when blood gets
flowing. So before you light up,
make sure you know what you
could be giving up.
Chronic masturbating can overproduce
sex hormones and neurotransmitters, which
causes negative effects ranging from fatigue,
pelvic and testicular pain and even vision
Smoking just two to three joints change. There’s also the added fact that it can
a week can cause erectile make it challenging to orgasm with a partner
challenges in young men. because you put your body is on sexual auto-
pilot. At an age where sex is often on the
mind, you might want to be careful how often
you act on your urge. Not saying masturbating
is bad, just that even too much of a good
thing can be bad.

Your feet contain 25 per cent
of the bones in your body.
Each foot contains 26 bones.

10 The Eyeopener SPORTS Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A history of heartbreak
The men’s soccer team’s dream of a deep playoff run were shattered by
bad bounces and questionable calls. Jay Saran looks at how it fell apart
The men’s soccer team found out Viktor Anastasov worked a quick one- bled a shot by Alex Braletic.
the hard way that history has a way of two at the top of the 18-yard box. But in the shootout, Western scored
repeating itself. Western controlled the play for the all five of their penalties and took
After struggling to close out games rest of the half after that and scored home the bronze, as well as a spot in
all season, the Rams gave up a late the well-deserved goal when forward the CIS National Championship Tour-
goal with 20 seconds left in regula- Niko Mavrikos scooped up a loose ball nament.
tion time to York on Saturday. They in front of the net in the 40th minute. Midfielder Jason Morgan, who
lost 2-1 and were knocked out of con- The game took a dramatic twist in played in his last game as a Ryerson
tention for the OUA championship. the second half when Ryerson found Ram, was the only player to miss a
Then in the Sunday afternoon themselves down to nine men after penalty in the shootout. And he said
bronze medal game against Western, two red cards. the locker room was very quiet after
their season ended the same way it the loss.
did last season: 5-4 in penalty kicks. “I think after a game like that you’re
The sting of history is all too fa- so emotionally drained, so exhausted,
miliar to head coach Ivan Joseph, Every program has a defin- so disappointed, that you’re at a loss
who was recently named OUA head ing moment and I believe for words,” he said. “[But] When all is
coach of the year. His Graceland team this will be ours. said and done though I think every Rams midfielder Viktor Anastakov dishes out some pain as he battles
bowed out early in the playoffs the — Ivan Joseph, guy out there will tell you that perfor- hard for a loose ball. PHOTO: ROB MOYSEY
year before they went on to win the head coach mances like today are what make you
NAIA championship in 2006. Despite proud to be a Ram.” a place in the OUA Final against the It was a chance that OUA goal-
the losses, Joseph is satisfied with his Twenty minutes after midfielder It was a bitter pill to swallow for the University of Toronto Blues when mo- scoring leader Adrian Pena would not
team’s progress. Adrian Mancini was sent off for argu- Rams, who lost a controversial game mentum took a dramatic swing in fa- waste, as he slotted home the penalty
“Our goal was to reach the OUA ing a call with the referee in the 59th against the No. 2 York Lions on Satur- vour of the Lions. to rejuvenate his team.
Final Four this year to see how we minute, Souter was booked for a sec- day afternoon in the OUA Semi-Finals. In the 77th minute, midfielder Ash- Four minutes after tying the game,
match up against the top programs. ond time after a late tackle against a The Rams played very well against kan Mahboubi was sent off after he York worked a beautiful short corner
We took the number two team in the Western midfielder. York for most of the afternoon and was booked for the second time in the to score and win the game.
country to extra time, and the num- But the Mustangs were unable to took a deserved 1-0 lead in the 59th match. Nine minutes later, York was After the match, Joseph said it was
ber six team to a shootout. We aren’t take advantage as Ryerson defended minute after York failed to clear a way- awarded a questionable penalty after best that he didn’t comment on the
far off at all,” he said. with a lot of heart and determination ward cross. A weak defensive header Rams’ defender Jacob O’Connor won performance of the referee, but was
“Every program has a defining mo- to force extra time. found its way to Ryerson’s leading a header but collided with a York for- full of praise for his team for the way
ment and I believe this will be ours.” After Western scored in the 100th goal-scorer Adrian Mancini, who ward at the edge of the 18-yard box. they battled adversity despite the
In the bronze medal game, Mid- minute, First Team All-Star Markus made no mistake in blasting the ball With the York player on the ground tough losses.
fielder Kevin Souter put the Rams Molder became an unlikely hero passed York’s goalkeeper Sotiri Varlo- clutching his face, the referee point- “I have no problem with a loss
up early in the 10th minute when he when he scored in the 120th minute kostas. ed to the spot and gave the Lions a when I feel the team left everything
and fellow OUA Second Team All-Star after the Western goalkeeper fum- Ryerson was 13 minutes away from chance to get back into the game. on the field, and I believe they did.”
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 BIZ & TECH The Eyeopener 11

Device failure slows internet
BY MATTHEW BRAGA But that’s exactly what happened.
BIZ & TECH EDITOR Since the device failed last
Thursday, some students have
An equipment failure has slowed experienced faster-than-normal
Ryerson’s internet to a crawl for speeds while using BitTorrent and
some users — while giving others other filesharing protocols.
near-unlimited speeds. However, this increased usage
The device, called a packet shaper, has negatively impacted access for
controls the amount of network others.
traffic going in and out of the Lesser said a replacement packet
university. shaper has been ordered, and should
By categorizing the type of traffic, be operational by Friday.
the school can limit or prioritize Normally, filesharing traffic isn’t an
applications that place a strain on issue for the university.
the network. The device “allows us to say the
“If we didn’t have that there and mail can still go through, the web can
people went wild with downloads, still go through. But when it failed,
all the bandwidth traffic could, in those controls were gone,” explained
theory, be taken up by filesharing,” Lesser.
explained Brian Lesser, acting The school has urged students
director of Ryerson’s Computing and to hold off on their perfectly legal
Communication Services. downloads until then.

TEDx a Rye twist on popular talks
complaint in the library: “whatever...
as long as no one was offended or
anything...” #eyeforatweet
BY MATTHEW BRAGA explained event curator different side of the in his field already, or it
BIZ & TECH EDITOR and second-year student Ryerson community. could be a student who is @mmmegan
Parvinder Sachdeva. “If it’s Among them is former just starting to achieve all If the ryerson online library was a
TED is coming to my school, I should know Canadian Auto Worker’s these great things.” real person I would have sex with
Ryerson — but with a about them first.” president Buzz Hargrove, Compared to official them no questions asked #asssaved
decidedly local twist. It’s not quite the real and CBC journalist and TED-sanctioned talks, See something strange on campus?
The popular, annual TED experience some may Ryerson alumni Peter format and guidelines Administration got you down? If you’re @in_a_crater
conference brings expect, but as Sachdeva Nowak. will stay the same. 18 on Twitter, use the #eyeforatweet Ryerson feels so lively today. Maybe
together speakers in points out, that’s not But traditionally, TED minutes will be allotted hashtag to share your frustration, or it’s the presence of less underslept/
such fields as technology, necessarily a bad thing. speakers have often for each speaker, with the just make us laugh. If we like what we hungover/stressed high-schoolers
entertainment and design For one, attending an been experts in their opportunity to mingle see, we may just print it! And follow and their parents. #eyeforatweet
to share their ideas with official TED conference respective fields of study, and converse with other @theeyeopener for all your Ryerson
attendees. is often prohibitively which might have some attendees following the news. @skaughtm
Now, TEDx — an expensive — at least questioning the inclusion talk — who, hopefully, will Why do GIANT trucks continue to
independently organized $6000 — but there’s more of student speakers. have their own ideas to @michellekearnel drive down Victoria only to be forced
TED-styled conference to it than that. However, Sachdeva share. Ryerson just called my house asking to turn around? #ryerson
— is being launched at The line-up, including points out that the only “You don’t need to be for donations. Laughed in their face.
Ryerson University for the staff, students and alumni real TED requirement is an expert to spread an Misguided fools, we’re all drowning @natalieast
very first time. drawn from Ryerson’s that speakers have an idea idea. You don’t need to in student debt. #Ryerson now offering a Minor in
“When I started last many faculties, was worth sharing. have done great things,” News Studies... yet Jschoolers can’t
year at Ryerson, I read handpicked by Sachdeva “Anybody can inspire explained Sachdeva. @alexbosanac minor in Marketing, a shame since
about all these people and the TEDx Ryerson your future. It can be a prof “Inspiration comes from Rye cop responding to a noise all our futures rest in PR.
doing amazing things,” team to showcase a who’s achieved so much within.”


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12 The Eyeopener BIZ & TECH Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Swagger and style for the web-savvy gentleman
Two radio and television arts graduates tell the Eyeopener’s Nick Spector how they took a budding niche market and
turned it into a profitable business venture with style conscious students in mind
Phil Adrien and Gavin Seal were graduate and you’re making a salary situations he’ll encounter during the 1,000 visitors per month at launch to
tired of all the “tits and ass” they saw for the first time in your life. Those are transition from student to young the 6,000 it’s averaging now.
in men’s lifestyle publications. not realistic expectations.” professional — all while looking Although there is some Tips for the
Frustrated with the lack of real and What sets TMG apart from big sites affordably stylish and up-to-date competition, it pales in comparison modern
down-to-earth coverage of men’s like GQ, Esquire and Details is more with the most recent technology. to what’s available for female gentleman
lifestyle topics, they launched The than just its younger demographic, “We met up and started talking audiences. Women’s lifestyle sites are
Modern Gentleman (TMG) instead. but also the way it approaches its about things we were experiencing in a fast-growing market, but there are Style
Since this past spring, TMG has audience. that stage of our life; that transitional few options for men and even fewer
catered to an audience of young “I think with TMG, we wanted to period between education and the still for the younger crowd. As a heavier fabric, tweed
men; some are students, others create a site where people who didn’t real world; between studying and “I think women are much more waistcoats or suits are good for
are professionals, and many are know what to do or what that end working,” said RTA grad Gavin Seal, open about their feelings and are the transition from fall to winter.
transitioning from the former to the goal was or how to get there could content producer and host of TMG. much more apt to share that in an
“Men fear bags,” says TMG, but
latter. Though there are plenty of come and just have a conversation,” The pair focused on less obvious online space,” Adrien said.
a canvas messenger, leather
Adrien said. issues, like whether or not to add “I think it’s much more challenging
backpack or modern doctor bag
And so the website lives up to your boss on Facebook or how to for a guy to go ‘let’s have a real can help keep gear out of your
its name, informing the young, develop professional relationships. conversation about money,’ which is a pockets.
It just seemed like chivalrous man on how to deal with As a result, TMG has grown from very taboo subject but it’s something
everything was catering that we all think about right?”
towards these guys that
But most importantly, it’s the open
went out and had wild nature of TMG’s contributors that has Luckily, beer is still the drink
sex every night. helped it stand out from other men’s of choice for many modern
— Phil Adrien, CEO of The lifestyle websites. In an age where gentleman ­— but that doesn’t
Modern Gentleman every publication has a Twitter feed mean your go-to discount brand
and a Facebook page, Adrien and is going to cut it. Craft, premium
women’s lifestyle websites for the Seal said that appearing connected and import brews are a great
younger crowd, TMG targets a niche only goes so far; an actual connection way to expand your alcoholic
market that conventional lifestyle is what makes the difference. knowledge.
publications like GQ and Esquire “What we feel is our greatest
tend to ignore. accomplishment is the user response. Health
“It just seemed like everything We’ll go to sites like Ask Men or GQ
Did you only make it to the gym
was catering towards these guys and we’ll see articles that have no re-
three times this week because
that went out and had wild sex every tweets or no comments and with our
of a long day at work? Or did
night,” said RTA grad Phil Adrien, site we are getting some incredible you pass on the pub for pushups
TMG’s founder and CEO. feedback,” said Seal. instead? If you want results,
“They drink the most expensive “To us that’s the difference you’re going to need to make
champagne, wear the most between people that just skim your some sacrifices.
expensive suits, drive the most articles and people who are actually
expensive cars and it’s like, when you Phil Adrien and Gavin Seal — modern gentlemen. PHOTO: LINDSAY BOECKL dedicated readers.”

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13 The Eyeopener ARTS & LIFE Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The month of man
Colton Eddy finds out whether growing whiskers for charity this November will make him a gentleman or a chump

Movember is the month- in 2003 at a bar in Melbourne, they sexy? “Everybody loves a Modern Gentleman Media. “If oup. “But like everything else cancer.”
long challenge for men to test Australia. At first, it was a joke. clean fresh honey,” says first- you look at examples of exag- it gets easier with practice as The funds raised in Movem-
their appearance and change The year after, the campaign year economics student Jyl- gerated male machismo, like it just becomes part of your ber’s Canadian campaign go
the face of men’s health by evolved and it focused in on lian Howe. “My ideal man is Chuck Norris or Will Ferrell’s routine.” directly to Prostate Cancer
growing a moustache. the number one cancer affect- clean cut on occasion, but isn’t character of Ron Burgandy in Adrien is taking on the chal- Canada. In 2009, global par-
The rules are very simple: ing every 1 of 6 men – pros- afraid to let out his masculin- Anchorman, they both rock lenge. “I’ve been growing my ticipation gathered over one
start clean-shaven and let your tate cancer. ity with his hot scruffiness.” the stache.” ‘stache for a week and aside million donors raising $47
stache blossom for the entire The Movember moustache But the fuzzy lip has gained But the art of maintaining a from the extra warmth it is million for Movember’s global
month. The moustache has has continued to grow since mass appeal over the years. well-groomed moustache can providing to my upper lip, ev- beneficiary partners.
become the ribbon for men’s and the event has expanded “A moustache is a bold fash- be a tricky one. eryone who has seen it has
Follow Colton Eddy’s stubbly
health, by raising awareness to several countries world- ion statement and is definitely “It’s definitely a hassle,” says said something. It’s a really ef-
Movember mission on
and funding for prostate can- wide. a sign of masculinity,” says Phil first-year urban and regional fective and creative way to get
cer. The idea came together Outside of the cause, are Adrien, Founder and CEO of planning student Will Heik- people talking about prostate

Make me a model
BY MATTHEW PRESCOTT OXMAN “You’re being judged all the time. give that,” he said.
You’re too fat. Too short. You kind of Trzaska said if you’re interested in
It’s Sunday morning and Amelia feel like a piece of property,” Colum- modeling you should take advan-
Columbus sits at her desk, cozy in bus said. tage of the Ryerson community to
her sweatpants and fighting to stay David Janveaux, a second-year ar- start building your portfolio.
awake. Like many students she is chitectural science student has been “Ryerson has a great runway show
trying to recover from the night modeling for two years and has both in the spring,” he said, referring to
before while staring at her pile of commercial and runway experience. the School of Fashion’s annual Mass
homework. But Columbus had He has sacrificed in some areas of Exodus show. He also said to audi-
more than homework on her mind. his life to make room for inconvien- tion for student films and model
“I’m going to meet with three ient casting times. for student photographers, as both
agencies. It’s going to take all day,” “If you really want to do some- parties will benefit.
she said. thing you’re going to cancel an Fourth-year fashion communica-
The first-year graphic communi- appointment, you’re going to leave tion student Natalie Ossa is the head
cations management student has work, you’re going to book around of casting for this year’s Mass Exo-
to balance school with commercial it,” he said. dus. The show requires 150 models
modeling. So far she’s only done that will be casted in February. Ossa
smaller jobs, like for Montreal-based said no experience or portfolio is
retailer Dynamite. But once the You kind of feel like a necessary but she is looking for male
school year is over she is travelling piece of property. and female models who are “perky.”
to China on a three-month modeling — Amelia Columbus, Confidence is vital if you want any
Being a model and a student has its challenges. PHOTO: LAUREN STRAPAGIEL contract with agency Jastar Model. first-year graphic commu- success modeling.
“I’m excited, but I haven’t really nications management “You need to believe you’re good
had time to think about it. It’s hard looking. You have to show them

Start Up
when you have so much school you’re serious and actually willing to
work,” she said. Like any other job, paychecks do stuff or it’s just a waste of time,”
Challenges come in all sizes when come into play. Through modeling Janveaux said.
you are trying model while staying Columbus has made about $500 per Columbus said no to her agency

in school. job. When she goes to Shanghai she Cover Models when they asked her
“If your weight isn’t what’s listed will be raking in even more. to go to Japan during this school
in your profile, you have to apolo- Wiktor Trzaska is a booking agent year, putting her studies before
gize to the photographer and the at Toronto-based Orange Model modeling.
clothing company,” she said. Management. Employing many “Modelling is fun but it’s not

When your measurements are student models, Trzaska knows that something I can do for the rest of
even half an inch off, it can pose a students can become overwhelmed my life.”
problem, said Columbus, who has by the combination of modeling and Instead she hopes to work in the
had to admit to being ‘overweight’ studying. magazine business.
before. If she is over her listed mea- “Everything piles up sometimes, “I want to be in that world,” she
surements in China this summer, the no matter how hard you try to avoid said, “just not as a model.”
Starting your own business? agency could terminate her contract. it. Sometimes you just have to for-

Creating your own fashion line? Paying to be the next big thing
Developing a new product? If you’re looking to break into Opening your wallet Stealing your money
the modeling scene, be wary of the Real agencies never ask a model Be wary of agencies that have
risk. There are over 2,00 registered to pay for services. The purpose of you use specific photographers for
This $1,000 bursary is for students starting their own modeling agencies in the country. the agency is to help a model find headshots. Scammers make money
business, creating a product, or launching a new initiative. How can you determine which are work. When a model books a job, off of charging high prices to have
legitimate and which are scams? the agency takes a percentage of casting cards made, and often push
The RSU wants to encourage the talent of all students, Megan Hamilton-Rawlings of the model’s paycheck. The North to have their own companies do
but we understand that as students you may not have
Sutherland Models helps guide us American standard is 20 per cent. the printing. To get started, a mod-
extra money to put towards work outside academics
away from the agencies that are Start-up fees are a good indication el only needs around 100 to 200
and paying tuition fees.
only after your money. that you’re not getting what you cards, which should cost no more
Submit your business plan Being scouted
signed up for. than a dollar each.

by Friday, Nov 12 by 6pm Agents are always scouting for Casting calls Look into it
Attention to Caitlin Smith, new talent — on the streets, in the Open casting calls are generally Browse the company’s website
Vice-President Finance & Services mall, on campuses. Scammers prey held Monday to Friday during the to learn their intentions. Make sure
on people the same way. These day. Be suspicious if they are in the agency is licensed. The Better
For information on this, visit
bad agencies lure new talent in by the evening or on weekends. Poor Business Bureau is a good place using the same lingo that is used agencies are known to send you on to check to make sure that there
by legitimate agency representa- jobs that are of a different nature. are no cases of malpractice on the
Questions? Email tives. Don’t be afraid to ask ques- Always tell someone where you’re agency’s behalf.
tions about the agency they repre- going for a casting or bring some-
— Jordan White
sent. one along.
14 The Eyeopener COMMUNITY

What is the appropriate role of
Wednesday, November 10, 2010

government in the economy?
Entry deadline: November 30, 2009

Mind your mobile manners, miss
Community editor and mistress of etiquette Allyssia Alleyne advises on
how to keep from celling yourself short
We’re constantly whipping it out
at the dinner table, on the bus and in
class. We can’t seem to stop fiddling
with it, playing with it or showing it
• DON’T have a lengthy conversa-
tion on a bus or streetcar. The
person next to you doesn’t want
to hear about that time you got
ation. A fake text from a peer
is the new, “I think I hear my
mother calling…” for complete contest details.
$10,000 IN PRIZES
off to lovers and strangers. Yes, we wasted and kicked a dog last • DON’T feel obliged to tell peo- What is the appropriate role of
may only be human, but etiquette week. ple your cellphone password. What
The is the
in the role of
Is Government Regulation
queen Emily Post would turn in
her grave if she witnessed the
indecent way many of us flaunt
• DO excuse yourself before
answering a text message or
Kindly tell them that you’d pre-
fer to keep it a secret because
you’ve had a bad experience in
Sponsored by The Lotte and John Hecht Memorial Foundation.
Threatening in the economy?
Your Personal Freedom?
Entry deadline: November 30, 2009
Entry deadline: November 30, 2009 10
our cell phones. answering a call if you’re in the the past. Leave it at that. Visit FRASER
Mrs. Post may not be around to middle of a conversation. Any- for contest details.
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editor certainly is. Here's a handy list • DON’T drunk-dial or drunk-text. think your friends laugh it off
to keep you from committing cellular Opt instead for the traditional when you text a LOL-ridden
suicide. drunk-write. When you wake up apology, they aren’t laughing
the next day, you’ll be glad that and your apology is not “A STUNNER.
• DO put your phone on silent you didn’t mail that scathing accepted. JAMES FRANCO IS
during class. Your GPA will essay to the boy you dated five SIMPLY TERRIFIC.”
thank you. merry winters ago. • DON’T put people on hold and
forget about them. That’s just
• DON'T take a call during a meet- • DO get to the point with your not cool. “ OUTLANDISHLY
ing with your boss. If you want
to show that you don’t care,
voicemail greeting. This means
no humour or wit. You may think • DO turn down your phone
save your minutes and give your you’re Oscar Wilde, but your call- volume. It’s bad enough that
boss the finger instead. ers aren’t likely to agree. strangers have to hear your
part of the conversation. Don’t “ DANNY BOYLE AND
• DON’T answer texts, BlackBerry • DON’T conceal your weapon subject them to what the other
messages or – god help you at the dinner table. If you and person is saying too.
– phone calls during sex or your companion both have
intimate moments unless you cell phones, place them face • DO save the earpiece for the THRILL RIDE.”
want your partner in crime to up on the table. In my experi- road. Nothing says “tool” like a
perform an actual crime. ence, you’re less likely to grab student walking around campus
it to check your Facebook if the talking into their Bluetooth. “CELEBRATORY
• DO have a simple, appropriate other person has their eyes on AND SPELLBINDING
ring-tone. That girl at the bar
won’t be impressed when “The
For more useful (and often funny)
Thong Song” starts playing out • DO feel free to fake getting a articles and advice, visit TO FINISH. ‘127 HOURS’ BRIMS
of your jacket pocket. text to exit an awkward situ- WITH LOVE OF LIFE IN



RSU Semi-Annual General Meeting Tenants’ Rights Workshop Robyn @ The Sound Academy
Nov. 10, 5:30 p.m., SCC 115 Nov. 12, 12 p.m., SCC Room A/B Nov. 12, 7 p.m., $23.50

Pin’d Up! Pin-up theme dance party Etudiant Francophones a Ryerson Laugh Out Loud: FCAD Improv Event
Nov. 10, 10 p.m.
Midpoint (1180 Queen St. W.)
Nov. 12, 9 p.m., Ram in the Rye Nov. 11, 2 p.m.
Heaslip House (297 Victoria St.)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010 INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS The Eyeopener 15

Arousing the audience Tips for an
The Rams men’s volleyball team weren’t the only ones hot and sweaty after their match with U of T arousing
“Balls first, Ram later,” quipped Ryerson’s hot- The third match was an intense build-up, experience
By Kats Quinto test captain and libero, the majestic Robby Earl. the description of which can be accurately de-
Earl’s balls-first motto won the second round scribed as rubbing until you almost get there, while watching
T wo nights before Halloween, Ryerson’s
men’s volleyball team turned their tricks into
by a close one. It could have been a landslide if
it weren’t for he-who-will-not-be-named, who
and then letting go until it subsides before
rubbing it again until you can’t take it anymore. any Ryerson
kept fucking up the serves royally, sending the Some of the fans were doing exactly that.
treats as they went into overtime against U of T
and won the epic battle.
team on a very long time-out. The ball was pummelled back and forth
across the net, reluctant to hit the floor. Both
Rams match
The story was like a lollipop, simple and
Ryerson and U of T teams were sweating pro-
sweet: all U of T Varsity Blues could do was suck
fusely, showing their rock hard nipples through
it. And suck it, they did. The victory was hard The referee was sporting such Go to
their thin jerseys. Ryerson’s #13 and #11
fought as Ryerson struggled, survived and sur- a hard-on for U of T, we knew and pick any game that tickles
poised, resembling Greek gods of tight buns,
passed all expectations.
it was a lost cause. legs slightly apart and awaiting to hit the ball your fancy.
The game started off on the wrong foot; the
first match was a disaster, to say the least. The
— #13 Stud Muffin with their toned and muscular arms.
Rams men’s volleyball “Holy shit it’s hot in here,” Kats Quinto, the Hold off self-pleasure for at
players seemed stiff, lacking warm-up and con-
Eyeopener Fun Editor, mutters under her least one week. Seriously, this
sequently lost by a lot of points.
breath. Chewing her nails was all she could is key.
The second match was equally tense. The
While the team huddled and talked about do to avoid touching herself during the joust
referee just couldn’t keep his granny panties
the virtues of aiming well, both in bed and on when the game went into overtime.
on for the Varsity Blues. His wedgie, aside from Let your imagination/
the court, electro music flooded the Kerr Hall The Ryerson Rams rammed it hard twice and
blocking the view of Ryerson’s very HOT #11, hallucination intermingle with
was also clouding his judgement. He kept reality (natural or otherwise…
Fluorescent white light
busting out the yellow cards on Ryerson like
transformed into glow just sayin’).
coupons to a rub and tug.
sticks and strobe lights.
“What the fuck? What do you mean double
U of T momentarily fled the Savour the experience either
contact? I didn’t even touch the ball,” says #13,
scene, fearing the onset of on the bleachers and/or later
his gorgeous eyes glowingly fierce with anger.
epilepsy. in bed.
His strong manly hands gestured into the air,
“Electro is the devil’s
indignant at the bad call. The referee blew the
music,” U of T’s setter com-
whistle and #13 was forcibly put back into his
mented. “ We cannot toler-
deliciously appetizing position.
ate it. Studies show that Send your sports erotica to
“The referee was sporting such a hard-on for
the constant pumping of
U of T, I knew it was a lost cause,” he recalls dur-
the bass increases libido, If we like it, we’ll give you
ing the post-game interview.
which leads to grinding
Despite the earlier blow ups, Ryerson gained
their composure and finally stepped up. The
and therefore STDs.”
Ryerson fans did not
crowd went wet n’ wild as the score sky rocket- It could help fund your date
take heed; clothes were PHOTO: SCOOP W. GERBIL
with any hot Rams athlete/
ed to five straight points, tying with U of T with
off and glow-in-the-dark body paint splat- twice as hard, winning the round and the game
11 minutes remaining. The girls in the audi- Eyeopener editor
tered across the chests of questionably un- against the U of T Varsity Blues with a bad-ass
ence started to unzip their pants and rip their *wink wink*.
derage girls. The music was interrupted for cut shot and a solid kill. Fuck yeah. <3
thongs off their crotch, but the Ryerson Rams
the last five minutes of the round, which
were determined to keep their eye on the ball.
Ryerson pwned.

Poems from my bleeding <3
LSAT MCAT by Elliot Wajchendler
WTF IS IT? He thumbed back through the magazine
Against the norm

GMAT GRE To find that ad with that model on
That looked like his (recently) old
Preparation Seminars Or partner
(If you’re modern)
Same auburn bob
• Complete 30-Hour Seminars Same brown eyes
• Convenient Weekend Schedule He stroked his thumb absently
On the glossy page
• Proven Test-Taking Strategies Same (he thought)
Michael turned and staggered away
• Experienced Course Instructors
a. Apricot In what he considered
• Comprehensive Study Materials A new low point in his life
So it was a good thing
• Simulated Practice Exams
Proportional to its size, the tongue is b. Umbilical cord He didn’t see the man
• Limited Class Size behind the counter
the strongest muscle in the body. c. Dried stool stuck Giving him a stare of pure hate
• Free Repeat Policy between ass crack For reading the magazines without
• Personal Tutoring Available paying for them again. ~L. Richardson

• Thousands of Satisfied Students ALLYSSIA THE PUN EDITOR
In my experience, bad singers are
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16 The Eyeopener Wednesday, November 10, 2010

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