Hello! Thank you for your interest in this play!

I wrote most of this show back when I was in high school, myself!

If you would like to produce this show yourself, all I ask is that you send an
appropriate donation for your budget to actorwade@gmail.com .
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Cheers and thank yous,

Andrew Wade

High School Noir

by Andrew Wade

actorwade@gmail.com
CHARACTERS:

JACK NORTON, 14: Private eye awaiting his first case

NEWSPAPER KID, 14: Jack’s best and only friend
VERONICA, 16: French, femme fatale
MADELEINE GONSWORTH, 17: Rich intellectual
BILLY THOMPSON, 15: Bully
MARCUS, 14: Billy’s Henchman, Brown-noser
OLIVER, 13: Billy’s Henchman, Gentle giant

SETTING:

A high school. A janitor’s closet set up to resemble a private eye’s office, a smoke
pit beside the school, and the edge of a field. All props and set pieces should be
shaded in monochrome black, white, and grey.

Scene One

Lights up on JACK NORTON, sitting in an armchair in a large janitors closet

that has been dressed up to resemble a private eye's office. He rests his shoes up
on the desk. He wears a brown, second-hand 50's-style suit with matching hat.

JACK NORTON
The Name's Norton, Jack Norton. Not too pleasant to say. I'm Peabody High
School's first, and possibly last, Private Investigator. I thought I'd get work faster
than the cafeteria kids get salmonella, but a month of empty lunch hours later,
I've got nothing; not one case. It's been deader than Keith Richards should be.
The Newspaper Kid used to stop by every lunch hour to trade his PB and J
sandwiches for my bologna, the lunatic, but even he hasn’t come by my ‘office’ for
a few weeks. The sacrifices I make to be in the business.

A knock at the door.

VERONICA (offstage)
Allo? May I.... come in?

JACK NORTON
My door's always open. (aside) I've been meaning to tell the janitor to look at
those hinges.

VERONICA enters. She is tall, thin build with long locks of red hair.

VERONICA

2 High School Noir

I believe we have some... business to discuss.

JACK NORTON
She was like a double latte, hot, tall, and if you took her in too quick, she’d burn
you. (to Veronica) That's what I'm here for, doll-face.

VERONICA
Then you are zee... Private Investigator?

JACK NORTON
That's what it says on the door.

VERONICA
But it says "Janitor's Closet"-

JACK NORTON
Figure of speech.

VERONICA
Ah. I see it will be interesting...... working with you. You see, I have a.... a
problem.

JACK NORTON
And it ain’t your stutter speech, toots?

VERONICA
I try to think before I speak or else I could get into... a lot of trouble. I have heard
of you before, Mr. Jack. You seem to invite trouble.

JACK NORTON
I invited you in, didn't I? (aside) This gal had guts alright. It wasn't everyday I
met a dame with wit. Mind you, it wasn't everyday that I met a dame, due to
some, bad memories others choose not to forget. (to Veronica) Well, babe, what
do you need my help with?

VERONICA
I believe someone may be trying to... to ‘urt me. I need your help to find out who.

JACK NORTON
Any leads? Enemies?

VERONICA
I have enemies, yes. Use whatever methods you deem necessary. I will pay you
handsomely. What is your going rate?

JACK NORTON
Well, you see I never really...

3 High School Noir

VERONICA
Just take your going rate and double it.

Veronica walks to the door.

JACK NORTON
Wait up, sugar stalk; I don't even know your name. How do I contact you?

VERONICA
You don't. I will meet with you when... when it is appropriate.

Veronica exits.

JACK NORTON
Great. Finally a case, and there's no leads, no clues, no names, and an extremely
vague suspicion to go on. "Plenty of enemies?" Her motives are murkier than an
oil spill in the Dead Sea. I'm gonna need to find out who this gal is that I'm
dealing with. But where to start?

NEWSPAPER KID (Offstage)

Hey Jacky! You there?

JACK NORTON
That's the Newspaper Kid. Nowadays, when he does pop in, it’s to find stories for
his school newspaper. The Tribune was going through rough times. All the public
wants is violence, mayhem, disaster, the stuff you find on the evening news.
Stories about so-and-so makes big in this-or-that contest aren’t cutting it. Heck,
he lowered his price from 75 to 50 cents last week, and only five people bought
the paper. Five. I've seen better followings in a Richard Simmons fan club. (to
Newspaper Kid) Yeah, I’m here.

NEWSPAPER KID enters. He's short, and wears beige shorts with a white T-
shirt. He has a backpack, and a notepad in one hand, and a lunch bag in the
other.

JACK NORTON
What brings you today? Got a sandwich to trade?

NEWSPAPER KID
Only if you've got a story for me. No one's been reading, and I need a good article
for next week. Kids today don't care about human interest bits no more, so I need
a breakthrough piece. Badly.

JACK NORTON
As a matter of fact, I might have one later, but my lips are zipped right now, you
know, clientelle privacy. But on another subject entirely... (winks obviously), you

4 High School Noir

wouldn't happen to be an acquaintance of a firebird of a dame who stopped by
earlier, would you? She sounded foreign but smart, lots of hair and emotional
baggage. She might be in trouble.

NEWSPAPER KID
Trouble, eh? (joking laugh) Maybe I could get a story. Hmmm.... I might know
who you're talking about, but I don't know her personally. I seen her down by the
smoke pit, with Thompson's gang. She never seems all that happy to be there,
mind you.

Jack stands up and gets his coat ready.

NEWSPAPER KID
Listen, I don't think you should go out there, for yer own good. You know what
happened the last time you messed with Thompson.

Jack slams his hand on the desk.

JACK NORTON
That wasn't my fault! Newsy, I'm not gonna let him get to me anymore. I've got a
job to do, and I'm gonna damn well do it! (pause) I-I'm sorry. It's just that, he
ruined my life, you know?

NEWSPAPER KID
Awww, he didn't ruin anything, he just... altered it. And hey, if he catches ya, give
me a shout so I can get my camera, will you? "Bully Billy Thompson, caught in
the act." How's that for a headline?

JACK NORTON
And I'm sure the snapshot where I have a face worse than Michael Jackson’s will
be a big seller too. Hey, thanks for the info. So you got that sandwich?

NEWSPAPER KID
Only if you get that story.

Newspaper Kid exits.

JACK NORTON
It was back in grade five when my whole world flipped. I was the popular kid, the
one all the guys wanted to hang with and the one all the girls swooned over, until
Billy. There I was, strutting the halls and flashing my perfect smile, happier then
a cat in a field of catnip. Then Billy comes up behind me with his cronies and tells
me to back off, that it’s his school. I frankly told him that no, I wouldn't amscray,
and then things got uglier than Drew Carey in a tutu. His cronies grabbed me,
Billy slugged me in the chest. Couldn’t breathe. And while pain comes and goes,
humiliation sticks better than peanut butter. By now, a crowd had formed to
watch the bully beat up the popular kid. He dragged me over to the girls’

5 High School Noir

changing room, threw me in – the ultimate humiliation. I was battered and
beaten, two ribs bruised, four chipped teeth, and a bleeding lip. Like I said, I can
take that, but if my body was a broken mirror, my reputation was a crystal
cathedral blown to bits. I went colorblind; how, I’m not sure. After that, the girls
wouldn't talk to me, and the guys were too scared Billy would stomp on 'em. He
kept them afraid. I was ruined, thrown from the top of the world, down into a
janitorial gutter. I've tried to clean it up a bit, add air conditioning, new
wallpaper, but it's still the gutter. It's home. Some say you should put the past
behind you, but I've found, the past sneaks up and mugs you when you least
expect it. No, my past’s staying right where I can see it. Now to head over to the
smoke pit to scrounge up some clues about this dame.

Jack exits.

Scene Two

Jack enters the smoke pit. It consists of a few sitting rocks, and one larger rock
in the background. Jack hides behind the large rock. BILLY, Veronica, and
MARCUS are on-stage. Billy is huge, with as much muscle as fat. He has
stubble. Marcus is small and scrawny, with short and greasy hair.

JACK NORTON
I've got to be quieter than a game of sardines at the morgue.

MARCUS
You hear something?

JACK NORTON
Note to self, use inner monologue.

BILLY
Now you listen to me Veronica, you know you owe me. Just tell me who.

VERONICA
'Ow many times do I need to tell you? There is no one else! You know I would
never do that to you, Billy...

BILLY
I don't know nothing anymore. First, you walk away from our little arrangement,
and now I hear you've been going to some guy behind my back!

MARCUS
Yeah!

6 High School Noir

VERONICA
Keep your grubby hands away from me. Our 'arrangement' is that I am to be your
'girl' for show, and show alone, you brute.

Billy grabs Veronica and pulls her into him.

BILLY
You listen; our deal is what I say it is. Now, I had the big lug follow you over to
that park you went to after our little rend-ezz-vousse. Care to explain? Meeting
your little Private Eye friend? Just like today?

JACK NORTON
Great.

VERONICA
I assure you, I went to the park to see an old friend, nothing more. And today... I
took a wrong turn. I was walking to zee... chemistry. You know I would have
nothing to do with that Jack.

BILLY
Mighty long detour for a mop closet.

Billy raises the back of his hand at her.

BILLY
Dolly, you're with me, and me alone. Don’t make me expose your little 'secret' to
your lovely parents. Capiche? (lowers hand) But I'll give you another chance,
cause I'm a nice guy. Right? Right?

MARCUS
Sure are boss! Best friend a guy could have!

JACK NORTON
I've seen ferrets with noses less brown than that guy.

OLIVER enters. Oliver is a veritable giant. He scratches his butt a lot.

OLIVER
Hey, you should come outside Billy. A grade eight recruit is about to spill to his
teacher. He doesn’t know anything, but he should be dealt with. Do you want in?

BILLY
That’s the problem with puppies: you’ve always gotta house-train’em.

Billy grabs Veronica’s face and squeezes her cheeks with one hand.

BILLY

7 High School Noir

Nobody plays games with me. See ya around, toots.

Billy and Cronies exit stage right. Veronica exits upstage, past Jack.

JACK NORTON
I could try help the grade eighter, but instead of an ant against an elephant, it'd
be two ants. On the other hand, some good can still come of this, in the form of
delicious peanut butter and jelly heaven. I better get back and tell the Newspaper
Kid what's going down. If you can't save the world, at least get a sandwich. It's not
a very good motto.

Jack walks back into his office, finds an envelope under his door.

JACK NORTON
Oh?

Jack opens the envelope and reads the note inside.

MADELEINE (offstage)
'Hello, Mr. Norton. I fear I may require your assistance.’

JACK NORTON
I’ve heard lawyers speak better.

MADELEINE (offstage)
I am aware that your career is somewhat slight, however your reputation
precedes you as being an enemy of my enemy, and therefore I can only assume
you will trustworthy in this matter. Let us convene at the far end of the field
immediately after the sun falls over the horizon. Then we may discuss what must
be done.

Newspaper Kid quietly walks through the open door, up and behind Jack,
holding a lunch bag.

JACK NORTON
Two jobs in one day; this is either the luckiest day in my life, or the day I die. I
always figured the two would come together.

NEWSPAPER KID
What you got there?

JACK NORTON
Nothing... yet.

NEWSPAPER KID
Well, I'm not feeling very hungry today, and as I kinda teased it in front of you
earlier, I thought I'd give you the sandwich anyway.

8 High School Noir

JACK NORTON
Phew, and I thought I'd need to give you that lead you wanted.

NEWSPAPER KID
What? Lead? Come on, Jacky, you wouldn’t not give it to me; we're buds!

JACK NORTON
I just like seeing you blubber. You might want to check out the playground. I
heard some poor eighter’s going to get beat up worse than the eggs in cooking
class.

NEWSPAPER KID
Your metaphors need work.

JACK NORTON
You going to give me the sandwich, or not?

Newspaper Kid hands the lunch bag to Jack and exits.

NEWSPAPER KID
Thanks for the tip!

Jack takes the sandwich out of the lunch bag and bites into it.

JACK NORTON
Mmmmm... the peanut butter is just how I like my friends, smooth, but they stick
with you. (Bell rings) Well, I better head back to class. It’s a mystery, but it looks
like I'm not going to learn anything else before nightfall.

Scene Three

The stage is lit by moonlight. There is a slight streetlamp glow at the edge of
stage right, as well. Stage right has one or two grey tree(s) in the back, and part
of a knee-high wooden fence. Jack is wearing his signature fedora and the same
pants, but has put on a jacket as well.)

JACK NORTON
It’s darker here than the far side of a blackboard.

Jack wanders in front of the tree and looks around. MADELEINE

GONSWORTH silently walks out from behind the tree.

MADELEINE

9 High School Noir

Hello Mr. Norton.

Jack jumps forward in surprise.

JACK NORTON
Woah there! (aside) I get edgier than the Guggenheim. (to Madeleine) I take it
you’re the gal who brought me out to this nocturnal no-mans-land?

MADELEINE
You assume correctly. I am indeed the author of the note that summoned you,
and I sincerely apologize for startling you. But I am being impolite; allow me to
introduce myself. (Holds out hand to be shaken) I am Madeleine Gonsworth.

JACK NORTON
Norton. Jack Norton.

MADELEINE
I know.

JACK NORTON
Erm… right. Gonsworth, eh? The same Gonsworths who own the local harbour?

MADELEINE
Yes, as well as the third largest fibre-optics company in the world.

JACK NORTON
The gal’s richer than a warehouse full of homemade cheesecakes. (to Madeleine)
Lets get down to business. Do you have a case for me?

MADELEINE
Indeed. You see, we are not dissimilar, you and I. We are both entrepreneurs, we
both enjoy the comfort of an old-fashioned suit, and... we both share a history
with a certain brute.

JACK NORTON
Billy.

MADELEINE
Precisely. I need you to unearth some of his more uncivil deeds, and obtain proof
of his involvement in said acts of aggression. I will then be able to exert my power
over the school board, and get him expelled from our lives.

JACK NORTON
You want me to dig up the dirt on him? I can't even count how high that’d cost
you. Sorry bub, another time.

Jack turns to leave.

10 High School Noir

MADELEINE
Not even for the given sum of one thousand dollars?

Jack turns around and gives Madeleine a hearty handshake.

JACK NORTON
Pleasure doing business with you, when do I start. (aside) It's not that I'm greedy,
but money does make the world go round, and I'm a fan of circular logic. I do
have a business to run, after all. And revenge will just make it richer.

MADELEINE
You shall commence your operations expediently. You shall be paid immediately
following his expulsion from your school.

JACK NORTON
But what beef do you have with Billy?

Sound of a car approaching.

MADELEINE
That, I shall not disclose at this time.

JACK NORTON
But then whe-

Several eggs are thrown from offstage towards the actors, hitting them. With a
screech of tires, the car leaves. Jack is stunned.

MADELEINE
Damn! A drive-by egging? My new suit! You see Mr. Norton, time may be of the
essence. I require your aid. Now.

JACK NORTON
But that... that was her...

MADELEINE
Who was whom now? You will still help me, I presume...

JACK NORTON
The driver, it was the dame... (snaps out of it) Never mind, another case. Maddy,

MADELEINE
Madeleine.

JACK NORTON
Maddy, just because I've got egg on my face does not mean I’m turning chicken.

11 High School Noir

I've been pigeon-holed by that bird-brain for far too long. I'll help you, for that
satisfaction alone. (pauses) Well, that and for the money.

MADELEINE
Good. Healthy capitalism at work. Well, as much as I enjoy my part in your life
reversal, I am afraid I must depart. The next time they target me, it won’t be with
eggs. Please do be quick.

Madeleine exits.

JACK NORTON
Wait... they were throwing the eggs at you? Maddy?

Sound of a tire squeal.

JACK NORTON
Back for one more? This dog’s more persistent than old yeller! No time even for a
dramatic pause.

Jack pauses, then dives behind the tree. The car sound gets louder, before
squealing to a stop. Veronica and Billy enter.

VERONICA
There, you can see for yourself. There is no one else here. Can we go now?

BILLY
Now don’t you go sounding so sad. She's nothing, you hear me? Nothing. A
nobody. What I do, I do to teach you who your friends are.

VERONICA
She was never my friend.

BILLY
Don't you sassmouth me. I’ve still got plenty of eggs if you want us to drive over
and pay your parents a visit.

VERONICA
You... you wouldn't...

BILLY
I can do anything I want to.

JACK NORTON
Arrogant.

BILLY
Drive us home.

12 High School Noir

Billy and Veronica exit. The car squeals again, then the sound of the car leaving.
Jack doesn't move until the noise stops entirely. He stands up and brushes
himself off.

JACK NORTON
If earlier had been a slice of weird pie, this was the entire bonkers bakery. Every
time I get an answer, two more questions spring up. Who’s after the Dame? It
could be Billy... but she wouldn't need my help to find out he was worse news
than the dailies after Armageddon. But what’s her ‘secret’? How’d they know
Madeleine would be here? Why egg her? They didn’t even know I was here.
(pause) Well, this moon here isn’t shedding any light on the situation.

Jack exits.

Scene Four

Jack walks onstage. Lights up full. It is morning. He yawns.

JACK NORTON
My mind feels like that goop they serve and call pudding. I can’t make heads or
tails of this cat. (stretches) Even when I did try to sleep all I'd get were
nightmares. There was one, I was running down a long corridor, no ways out, just
smooth walls, couldn’t go anywhere but forward. Behind me were these
monstrous peanuts, with arms and legs and all, tall as Billy and twice as ugly. And
swimming in the air at me, right above, were these jellyfish, creeping purples
slithering their tentacles violently in my direction. Then, as suddenly as the
dream started, the hall ended, and I woke up right at the moment when they
caught me. My sheets were sweatier than a sumo match. I aughta lay off the
midnight snacks. Right, now back to business. I'm going to pay Madeleine a visit
and figure out what exactly happened last night.

Jack moves to the smoke pit, where Billy and Veronica are talking. Oliver is also
there.

JACK NORTON
On second thought, undercover work never hurt anyone. Well... except for those
who get caught.

VERONICA
Do you really need to do these things to Madeleine? She 'as never done anything
to 'arm you!

BILLY

13 High School Noir

She has to learn; I own her.

VERONICA
She knows! She knows! There are more important concerns for you to deal with.
'ave you found the copied tests that were stolen from vous?

BILLY
My people are on it.

Marcus jogs in from stage right.

BILLY
Tell me the news.

MARCUS
One of the pages was sticking out of a locker, locker 402. We're checking out
whose locker it is right now.

JACK NORTON
That's my locker. How would a stolen test get there?

BILLY
And the rest?

MARCUS
We... we don't know boss. Not yet.

BILLY
You don't know? You don't know?!? (grabs Marcus) Not good enough! Get back
there, and find them. I paid good money for those tests!

MARCUS
Yes sir! I mean, sorry Billy! I'll get right on it! They'll be found before you can-

BILLY
Get going!

Marcus runs off.

VERONICA
You see? There are bigger problems!

Billy pushes Veronica upstage.

BILLY
Leave me be; I need to think.

14 High School Noir

Billy sits down on a rock.

JACK NORTON (whispering)

Hey, doll! We need to talk. Let’s skiddadle someplace safe.

VERONICA
I... am sorry Jack. I am sorry that this is necessary.

JACK NORTON
What are you-

VERONICA
Billy! Look! While you spend all your time worrying about silly little Madeleine,
one of your old enemies is spying on you!

JACK NORTON
This won’t be pretty.

BILLY
What?

Billy drags Jack out from behind the rock.

BILLY
Well, well, if it isn't my dear old friend, the private eye…

VERONICA
Maybe it is him you should be doing the thinking about.

BILLY
Oh, we’re past thinking. So Jack, what was it you heard?

JACK NORTON
Nothing incriminating.

BILLY
Sure.

Marcus enters.

MARCUS
Our friend at the office just gave word that locker 402 belongs to a Jack Norton.
(notices Jack) Yeah, that guy! Hey, didn’t you take care of him a few years back?

BILLY
Apparently not well enough.

15 High School Noir

Billy raises his fist.

VERONICA
Billy, wait. You are smarter than this! Do not think to punch a man in the middle
of an open area with teachers able to see us!

Billy shouts a growl.

BILLY
I hate to admit it when a girl's right.

He tangles Veronica's hair.

BILLY
Just don't let it get to your foreign little head. (to Jack) And as for you... I'd say
you should watch your back, but we both know that won’t save ya.

Billy spits at Jack as Jack walks back to his office.

Scene Five

Jack’s office. Newspaper Kid is sitting in Jack’s chair with his feet up on the
desk.

JACK NORTON
Kid, looks like I’m going to need to lay low for a while.

NEWSPAPER KID
Billy, eh?

JACK NORTON
Yeah.

NEWSPAPER KID
Well, stay for a few minutes, anyway, for a chat. He won’t go after you so soon.
And aren’t you at all curious as to why I’m here?

JACK NORTON
Well?

NEWSPAPER KID
I found out who your mystery dame was.

JACK NORTON

16 High School Noir

Thanks, but I’ve done my own snooping on Veronica.

NEWSPAPER KID
See, you make me sneak through the office computer for nothing.

JACK NORTON
Sorry, Kid. I’ll still owe you.

NEWSPAPER KID
Nah, it’s on the house; we’re friends. Good friends. Ain’t that right, Jacky?

JACK NORTON
Kid, you’re the only one I got, and I wouldn’t trade you in for the world.

NEWSPAPER KID
Heh, yeah. Anyway, I think this issue of the Tribune’s really going to take off!
Twice as long as normal.

JACK NORTON
Finally hired reporters? There are kids in this school who would do a good job for
a dirt cheap rate, and I'm talking low-grade dirt here, nothing fancy.

NEWSPAPER KID
No thanks, Jacky. This paper here, it’s the only thing I got going for me in life.
This is mine. I'm the reporter. I'm the creator. I'm the writer. I'm the editor. And
when this thing goes big, and gets recognized, I'm going to get the credit, ya hear?
Not some fleet of underlings, me. And me alone. I want my day in the sun.

A knock at the door.

JACK NORTON
Fair enough.

Jack opens the door. Veronica steps in.

VERONICA
Jack, there is something we need to discuss.

JACK NORTON
You’re damn right there is! What was that stunt you pulled earlier? I could have
been killed! I don’t much like being thrown to the wolves.

VERONICA
I can explain later. For now, here are papers concerning Billy’s involvement in a
scheme of stealing answer keys from tests and selling them to students.

JACK NORTON

17 High School Noir

I thought you were paying me to be the detective.

VERONICA
There has been a change of plans. You no longer need to… to spy on Billy.

JACK NORTON
If you already had this information, what did you need me for?

VERONICA
What is this media man doing here?

JACK NORTON
He’s my friend. He can be very resourceful.

VERONICA
What? What do you know?

NEWSPAPER KID
Easy, easy, just what’s in your file at the school.

VERONICA
That had better be all you find out or I will make sure your little... publication
goes out of print.

NEWSPAPER KID
No need to get physical.

Billy enters with Marcus and Oliver.

BILLY
See now, that’s where we disagree.

NEWSPAPER KID
I kept him right here, Billy. You took long enough.

Billy pats Newspaper Kid on the head as he walks up to Jack.

BILLY
So, you thought you could announce my test answer racket to the world, did you?
I thought I made it clear… on my playground, that’s not the way things go.
(cracks knuckles) Now let’s play.

JACK NORTON
Kid? You set me up? Held me here until the mob boss came? I thought we were
friends!

NEWSPAPER KID

18 High School Noir

I need this story. Do you remember how big your first fight with Billy was? People
talked about that for months! That’s exactly what I need to save my newspaper. I
deserve a good story. Look at what just one fight would mean for me, Jack?
(pause) I’d hoped we could still be friends, maybe. Billy promised not to cause
any permanent damage.

JACK NORTON
How nice of him.

BILLY
Yeah, I’m a softie. I’m more about pain, physical, emotional. You want to control
someone? Show them you can hurt them, and they’re yours forever. Have you
ever watched footage of car crashes, trains derailing? It’s amazing how bad a
person can get and still crawl away with a pretty face.

Billy pulls out a set of brass knuckles.

NEWSPAPER KID
Woah, y-you never said anything about...

BILLY
Cram it, gonzo.

Newspaper Kid shies away into Jack’s chair, opens his notepad, and starts
writing.

JACK NORTON
Billy, I’m disappointed in you.

BILLY
You of anyone should know what I’m capable of.

JACK NORTON
Oh, I know… but taking orders from this runt? I thought you were a bigger man
than that.

Billy swings the brass knuckles in the air as he talks.

BILLY
He takes orders from me.

JACK NORTON
He’s been playing you! A stooge. A rummy. A pigeon. He just wants his story.
You’re just his pawn.

VERONICA
Jack ‘as a very good point. You are… being used, Billy.

19 High School Noir

NEWSPAPER KID
Hey now, th-that’s not true! We’re in a… a partnership here! We each get what we
want!

Billy advances on Newspaper Kid. Jack tries to sneak to the door, but he’s
restrained by Marcus and Oliver.

BILLY
This ain’t no partnership. What we have, is an amiable understanding. Got it?

NEWSPAPER KID
Right. That’s what I meant. You know I’d never dare order you around.

BILLY
And don’t you ever forget. Now where was I? Right.

Billy strolls back over to Jack and puts the brass knuckles on. Jack struggles to
get free, but it isn’t working. Billy circles around him.

BILLY
I’m gonna enjoy this. You just couldn’t resist trying to bring me down, could you.
For what? Justice? Don’t kid yourself; this here that you were doing, that’s
nothing but cold-blooded revenge. Now, back when we first strolled down a little
place I call agony alley, it seems I made one mistake. You see, you, are a stray
dog, and you don’t quite know who your master is yet. Stay boy, stay. Beg. The
question now, of course, is ‘where should I start?’ Ribs? Belly? Or maybe a few
kidney shots just to see you squirm.

Billy stops , face to face with the restrained Jack, and grins. Jack knees Billy in
his… sensitive area. Billy winces and leans away. He somewhat regains his
posture.

BILLY
Sticking up for yourself! Jackyboy, do you know who you’re messing with? Do
you have any idea? This here situation, it’s hopeless. I mean, I’m impressed to see
a spine somewhere in that quivering body, but it just ain’t wise. That spine’s
gonna be damaged goods.

JACK NORTON
I’m not the kid I was before.

BILLY
No, that’s true, that’s true. Now, you’re a loner. Now, you’re a nobody. Now,
you’ve nothing to give, nothing to lose, and nothing for me to steal from you.
(kisses the brass knuckles) Nothing but yelling.

20 High School Noir

VERONICA
But if ‘e makes a lot of noise, people will hear ‘im, Teachers! They’ll come, and
they’ll stop you, Billy. This iz not what you want, no?

Fire alarm sounds. Billy waves his arms in the air.

BILLY
Ha! You see Belle, I don’t make mistakes. School’s over, and with that fire bell,
we’ve a good fifteen minutes of quality time. (Billy draws the knuckles along
Jack’s forehead, then tugs on his coat) I’ll try not to get you too bloody; don’t
want to mess up your fine coat. Hah! Not that you’d know, being all colourblind
as you are since our last… conversation. Everything’s all black and white to you.
Too bad.

Jack spits in Billy’s face.

JACK NORTON
Black as your heart, and white as your face every time a girl turns you down.

Billy wipes the spit from his face, and slaps Jack with the same hand.

BILLY
That’s enough.

Billy raises his brass-knuckled fist. Veronica intervenes and grabs Billy’s hand.

VERONICA
No! Stop! This iz too far gone along! It was me, it was me, it was me! Jack has
done nothing to harm you! (to Jack) Oh Jack, I am ever so deeply sorry. (to Billy)
It was all my doing!

JACK & BILLY

What are you talking about?

VERONICA
All these things Jack has done… he did not do… they were all moi. I was hoping
you would leave my love alone if there was another threat! A… distraction. And it
worked… (to Jack) Too well.

BILLY
Nobody makes a mockery of BLT.

Marcus and Oliver snicker. Billy glares at them.

BILLY
Billy Lester Thompson will not be tricked by anyone, especially not a common…
girl like you. Kid, block the door.

21 High School Noir

Newspaper Kid moves to the closed doorway.

BILLY
Veronica ain’t going nowhere.

The door swings open and knocks Newspaper Kid to the floor. Madeleine enters,
taking off a set of headphones.

MADELEINE
On the contrary, she will walk out of here unharmed.

VERONICA
Maddie!

Veronica tries to run to Madeleine, but Billy grabs her.

BILLY
Well, well, looky who (looks at Newspaper Kid) the rat dragged in. Kid, you’re
pathetic.

Billy motions to Marcus and Oliver.

BILLY
Boys, the door.

Marcus and Oliver release Jack and stand by the door.

BILLY
The lady, the millionaire, and the dick! My, my, it’s like I’m at a buffet!

Billy ponders his options then raises a fist and charges at Jack. Jack dodges,
barely.

MADELEINE
Stop your attack immediately! If you continue in such actions, I can guarantee
your next home will be a prison cell.

Billy turns to listen to Madeleine.

MADELEINE
One large enough for you, (looks at Cronies) and for your accomplices. You see,
this room has been bugged with both video and audio devices. Everything that
you have said and done here was transmitted wirelessly to a computer far beyond
your reach. Would you like the police to witness all of your actions and hear all
your confessions?

22 High School Noir

Billy advances on Madeleine.

BILLY
I aughta…

MADELEINE
Tut tut tut… How quickly you forget. However, I’m a sporting woman. If you
hand me your weapon and leave this vicinity now, perhaps I will show restraint.

Billy growls. He then takes off the brass knuckles and throws them down past
Madeleine’s hand and to the floor. He barrels through Marcus as he exits.

JACK NORTON
That’s one BLT gone bad.

Marcus looks wildly about at every wall in the room.

MARCUS
Um… uh… Billy’s crazy! I didn’t know he had done any of that sort a stuff!
Honest, Mr Officer! I swear! I’m innocent!

Marcus quickly scurries away through the door.

OLIVER
I just liked being wanted.

Oliver exits. Newspaper Kid is still absorbed in his writing.

JACK NORTON
Let me guess: There aren’t really any cameras, are there.

MADELEINE
No, there are. I apologize for ‘bugging’ the room, but I thought it necessary, to
keep tabs on your progress. The video will be delivered to the police department
tonight.

JACK NORTON
I thought you were going to ‘show restraint.’

MADELEINE
That was a lie. I owe you an explanation. You see, in the past, Veronica and I
were… involved together, which is something her rigidly religious parents
unfortunately frown upon. Billy somehow managed to come across photographs
of us in compromising positions. He has been blackmailing Veronica and me with
this information ever since. I’ve had to jump through many a ‘hoop’ simply to
appease him so that he wouldn’t divulge our (holds Veronica’s hand) secret.

23 High School Noir

JACK NORTON
I’m a pawn in a giant game of chess, then, dictated by your checkered pasts.

VERONICA
You were no pawn. You were our king. We could not have been… freed from this
most misfortunate incident without your help.

NEWSPAPER KID
But aren’t you two afraid that Billy’ll spill the beans on your secret?

VERONICA
It was going to happen, regardless, zee moment ‘e got bored with me. We have
been running from ourselves for far too long, Maddie. This way though… at least
that… brute will get what ‘e deserves. He will be expelled, ‘is gang dissolved, and
‘im ruined.

JACK NORTON
I like that.

MADELEINE
Right, now I must depart, and we must make plans (holds Veronica) for our
future.

Madeleine smiles warmly and takes out a check from her coat pocket.

MADELEINE
Here is a check for three thousand dollars. Far more than you asked for, but far
less than you deserve. You may also keep the equipment… once you find it.
Someone in your profession can put it to excellent use, I’m sure. I will, of course,
disable my access to them, remotely. You will be the man who freed this school of
Billy’s tyranny. I imagine that will make you quite a few friends.

VERONICA
Goodbye Jack. I again apologize. I hope we can meet again, in better terms.

Veronica gives Jack a peck on the cheek, then walks to the door. Jack notices
that Newspaper Kid is still there. The Kid looks up at him.

NEWSPAPER KID
Right, well I should be off too. No hard feelings, eh? You’ve got your reward,
they’ve got their lives back, Billy’s been crushed, (pauses, speaks quickly) I’ve got
my story, we’re all good, right? Friends?

Newspaper Kid moves quickly to the door. Jack gets in the way.

NEWSPAPER KID
Jacky?

24 High School Noir

JACK NORTON
You set me up. You were going to watch, and snap pretty pictures of me, of your
best friend, as he was beaten and bruised. A nice little photo album with a
wonderful story to go along with it.

Jack advances on Newspaper Kid.

All in the name of what? Saving your precious little high school newspaper?
That’s what I’m worth to you? That’s your price?

Newspaper Kid shuts his eyes tight as he expects a punch. Nothing happens.
Newspaper Kid looks back at him. Not getting punched is even scarier than this.

JACK NORTON
You just turned on, backstabbed, your best and only friend. You’ve bought every
lunch hour, sitting alone, with only PB and J sandwiches to keep you company.

Jack snatches the notepad out of Newspaper Kid’s hand.

JACK NORTON
Oh, and if you whisper a word of this story to anyone, I won’t be so generous.
Have fun with your newspaper.

NEWSPAPER KID
Sure… sure thing, ol’ pal.

Newspaper Kid walks to the door.

NEWSPAPER KID
I just want to say, I… I’m sorry, Jack.

JACK NORTON
You’re not sorry for this, all this. You’re just sorry it didn’t all work out for you.

Newspaper Kid exits. Jack sits down.

JACK NORTON
So the gal got the girl, the bully ran away, I got a hero’s social life, and I got paid
more than the teachers make in a month. So why do I feel so rotten? I just lost my
best friend. No, no, he lost me. Goodbye, Kid. This whole case stinks of stale
bologna.

Lights down.

25 High School Noir