To: Trevor Mackesey

From: Phillip Teng, Johns Hopkins Youth Advisory Group

Date: April 4, 2019

Subject: Visual Analysis of Proposal Presentation

In our proposal presentation, we focused on how we could improve adolescent crime rates in
Baltimore. One of the main aspects we worked towards was developing emotional support from
the audience. To make our presentation effective, we had to explain the prevalence of crime in
Baltimore, as well as make our audience feel personally compelled to act to better the situation.
Using the sources Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds, Technical Communication by John M.
Lannon and Laura J. Gurak, and Master the Art of Presenting: Tell a Story, Keep it Brief by
Emma Ledden, we found effective ways of communicating the need for further research into the
prevention of adolescent crime.

We started with an idea for a hook. Emma Ledden says in her article, “You need to quickly tell
your audience why they should listen.” Our team decided that the best way to talk about
adolescent crime was to provide an individual example. This story draws out the audience’s
interest, allows them to empathize with the struggles that many adolescents in Baltimore deal
with, and creates a personal situation to back up the statistics and graphs we use later in our
presentation.

We decided to create a scenario featuring “Kylie”, a young adolescent in Baltimore whose dire
family situation pushes her to shoplift. Garr Reynolds states, “The best presenters today illustrate
their points with stories, often personal ones. The easiest way to explain complicated ideas is
through examples or by sharing a story with your audience.” While our idea may not be
complicated, we understood that our audience may not be able to understand adolescent crime on
a personal level, given that we were speaking with students of an elite university. By sharing a
story about how adolescent crime affects lives on a personal level, we were able to make our
presentation more compelling and direct the audience to the problem at hand in a provocative
way. This story allows audiences to empathize with Kylie’s harsh situation and understand her
motivations for committing crime, while also reinforcing that this scenario requires outside
intervention to prevent from happening.

Ledden said, “Stories make facts more digestible and, in telling them, you, as a speaker, appear
more human, more approachable and more audience friendly.” By creating this story for our
audience, we as presenters gain more pathos with the audience and build a connection with them
towards the problem of adolescent crime.
Our slide was also designed in a way that would better connect the audience with our problem
statement. Lannon and Gurak stress that “ a successful presentation involves relationship
building with the audience.” To build our relationship, we made the slide solely about Kylie. We
only displayed a picture of a girl, with the words “Meet Kylie”, so that the audience could attach
themselves to a face while we told them her story. We decided to not include text in the slide so
that the audience would not have any distractions, and could pay full attention to the story while
taking in what Kylie looks like. This was intended to connect our audience more directly with
the problem at hand. By showing how the problems we outline affect lives in a personal way, we
created a story that supports our thesis in a way that goes beyond the numbers we use, as well as
an individual the audience could empathize with. We used this slide to demonstrate to our
audience that there are many cases like Kylie’s in Baltimore, and that these children can reach
their full potential if given the right resources and a plan for action.

By telling the audience a story regarding adolescent crime, we were able to personalize the issue
and generate empathy, which created a more cohesive argument and compelling problem
statement, increasing the efficacy of our presentation.