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AN INCEL ESSAY
1. Introduction
In this essay I want to discuss a topic that I feel has been neglected by many serious
academic writers of today. I refer to the topic of inceldom. Incel stands for “involuntary
celibacy”, and it is a rising phenomenon in the West, specially among the young male
population. A person is considered an incel when after six months of trying to find a
partner, he or she can't find one. It is a phenomenon quite new in history, and for this
reason, together with its status of being politically incorrect, explains why it is being
neglected by orthodox social scientists and philosophers, although its rising importance.
It would seem contradictory, but the sexual revolution of the sixties has only
brought less love, sex and affection to a large part of the western male population. In
this essay our goal will be to discuss why it is happening, and also its current effects.
In order to elucidate the fact that more and more young males are being forced
out of the love and sex market, we will also analyze women sexuality. As it is women
who are the selectors in our societies. They decide who is going to have sex and love,
and who is not.
1 The right to marry exists in the constitution of many countries, and it exists too in the human rights
declaration of the UNO.
2 The fact that the society as a whole don't want to talk about that, or even deny the existence of the
problem at all, also makes the lifes of these men more difficult. Many times they have to endure
depression, anxiety, therapies, etc., and all because they are not handsome enough and so condemned
to extreme loneliness and frustration.
time, and also to marry or engage in long term relationships, specially if their economic
or social status is good enough. But the 40% of the bottom will get virtually nothing,
even if their economic status is good.
It is key to consider this very actual fact. That the majority of the women only
want to share their sex and love with the most attractive guys, discriminating the rest,
specially those at the bottom. This causes what we could define as a social injustice,
given the enormous difference in the redistribution of sex and love, for reasons that are
impossible to change.
It is a social injustice that so far has been ignored by academics and by the
media. Other injustices caused by differences of redistribution are constantly voiced 3,
but not this one. When somebody is discriminated because his or her ethnic origin, or
because his or her financial status, or race, or religion, or language, or sex orientation,
some people react denouncing this injustice. But when we have a 40% of the male
population being discriminated virtually always by women nobody cares, or even deny
the fact or blame the victims. Almost nobody denies that some ethnic groups and the
poor suffer from discrimination, and again almost nobody denies that they are not to
blame for their situation. Many even demand that the State do something to mitigate or
to compensate for their situation.
4. It is looks, stupid!
We have seen so far that in our western societies today there exists an important part of
the male population who are being discriminated due to their perceived lack of
attractiveness. We have stated that this discrimination is caused by women
systematically rejecting them, and desiring only the top male population, or at best some
of the middle class. We have stated that this discrimination is based only on looks, not
on personality, style of life, morality, or some other quality. Although this is easy to
prove4, this is being denied quite often. Sometimes the evidence is so big that people
3 Very often the same women that will radically stand against all kinds of injustices and discriminations
will then discriminate many males just because they don't meet their high standards of looks.
4 One easy and effective way to test this theory is to create several different accounts on Tinder or
Badoo. One account with photos of an attractive man, one account with photos of an average looking
man, and one account with photos of an under average looking man. This test will not lie. The
discrimination will be seen very clearly.
admit that looks matter a lot, but normally they find this reality too hard to endure, so
they decide to soften it a little bit, using some well known and publicly accepted lies.
Here is a little list of some of these lies:
-Personality and morality matters. If you become ready, if you become good hearted and
improve your social skills you will easily find some nice girlfriend.
-If you have a good job and make a decent living you will find some girlfriend.
-If you study hard and become an intelligent and skillful person you will find some
girlfriend.
-If you lose some weight and get fit, you will get some girlfriend.
-If you are extrovert and funny enough to make them laugh you will be successful with
women.
-Women are less superficial and visual than men. They care less about something as
superficial as physical appearance.5
But no matter how many times we say or hear these things, they are still lies. In our
society only looks can get you a girlfriend, with some exceptions.6
New dating apps and websites have only made the discrimination much worse.
Now with apps like Tinder or Badoo looks are becoming even more and more
important, being almost the only thing that matters in a man for a woman.
5 The truth is just the opposite. In our days, the discrimination women do based on physical appearance
is so big that there are entire groups of men who have it nearly impossible to find a partner. Think of
overweight men, short men, or below average looking men.
6 It is true that money can also get you a girlfriend sometimes. But in this case it is difficult to talk about
love and sexual attraction. It is difficult to create a healthy relationship based purely on money.
will develop this feeling. We only have to remember how many mass shootings have
been performed by incels. Sometimes the direct cause of the shootings has been their
inceldom, and sometimes it has been something else like racism or political radicalism.
But even in these last cases, even when inceldom was not the reason they gave for their
actions, we must consider that the fact that they were incels contributed to their killings.
Had not they been incels, even with their radical political views, they would have
probably never killed.
Also, there are no official stats about that, but we can be sure that many men
have committed suicide because they couldn't endure their inceldom. Their inceldom
gave them extreme levels of unhappiness they couldn't bear. Because we must also think
that society don't like incels. When society sees a single man with no kids at his 30s or
40s, they will see him as a loser, an unfit person who have failed to accomplish his goals
in life. They will blame him instead of seeing what has really happened.
We can also talk about the possible solutions to this problem. Society can choose
to ignore the problem, but anyway it will be there. And it is here to stay. And although
there are many possible solutions, I don't think anything will be done. Society prefers
not to look, and to blame individual incels for their situation. Women as a group will
never be blamed for this. And less now that feminism has gained so much power.
Feminism and large parts of society will work hard to maintain the situation and change
nothing, if not to worsen it, and to continue blaming the victims for their situation.
But in the medium and long term the situation is not sustainable. To have an
important part of the young male population without a partner is very dangerous. And in
the short term this is only possible with an increasing legal and police repression against
men in general.
Personally, I don't think there is a real solution in the west to be done in the next
years. One thing that would surely improve the situation is to return to more traditional
life styles, with monogamy and marriage. But today in the era of radical feminism and
Tinder this is very unlikely.
6. Conclusion
We have seen that today a large part of the male population is being sexually
discriminated, condemned to live a life of loneliness and frustration, due to the fact that
women only want to share their love and intimacy with the most attractive men. Society
has decided so far to allow this to happen, and to forbid the discriminated males even to
voice their problem. But the situation, although it will not be easy, can change. If incels
of all kind raise their voices, society will have no other chance than at least to listen at
them and consider their problem. This is not utopic, considering that more and more
males will be incels. Some of them will gain positions of power, so they will know deep
inside that this is not a fairy tale.
By Ernest Rawls