Stress Management Techniques

Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. Updated: Feb 27th 2003 There is no doubt about it; the world is a difficult place to live. Making a living, raising a family, and negotiating relationships are difficult but necessary tasks for all people - and these sources of stress are just the normal everyday ones. Abuse, violence, chaos, disease, misfortune and other 'out of the ordinary' sorts of situations can and do add additional layers of stress to our lives. It's no wonder that many people become tense, burned out and looking for means of escape. Though life is often unavoidably difficult, there are effective ways to manage how much we become affected by stress. We'll explore some stress management methods in this article, but first, we'll start by defining what stress is. The Nature Of Stress When we talk about stress, really we are often talking about how stress affects us in body mind and spirit. Stress can be defined then as the reaction we have to difficult, demanding or challenging events. Our bodies and minds have been designed with a 'fight or flight' reflex that helps to orient and become alert when we are faced with challenging or dangerous events. Our attention gets narrowed towards such events, and our brain instructs our bodies to prepare for possible physical action such as confronting the event physically (e.g., 'fight') or running away from the source of the danger (e.g., 'flight'). Muscular tension, increased heart rate, and higher concentrations of blood sugars and hormones are involved in this process. Our body's stress response is really designed for the people we once were; less sophisticated huntergatherer type tribes people whose major sources of stress are where the next meal will come from and how to avoid predators. The stressors faced by most of us today are less physical and concrete than those faced by our ancestors; We worry instead about the threat of being laid off from work, of how to keep our children from becoming drug addicts, and about what to do if terrorists attack. Where our ancestors could deal with their stress reactions through direct physical activity (e.g., hunting for food, running away from an attacker), our own threats are less tangible and larger-scale and we often are unable to find anyone to attack or run away from. Even when we can, for example, attack someone as a way of discharging our tension, we often don't because we don't want to be sued or arrested for breaking the law. Because we are often unable to discharge our activation we end up experiencing this activated physical and mental state a lot of the time so that it ceases to be just occassional 'acute stress' and becomes instead 'chronic stress'. Stressful Events Breakup of intimate romantic relationships, friendships Death of a family member or friend Economic hardships
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Racism and Discrimination Poor Health

Whatever it is that you are dealing with right now. other people have dealt with it before. • Socialization And Supportive Conversation . A great number of diseases (physical and mental both) are either brought on in part or made worse by people being chronically stressed out. both positive and negative. to organize records. It's important to note that a given event doesn't have to be negative in tone to be stressful. Chronic stress also makes it more difficult for us to handle our relationships well. Dysfunctional negative and unhealthy methods of coping include: • • • • Addictions (alcohol. Seeking out their counsel when you don't know what to do is often . and to use memory enhancement tools (like alarm clocks and 'palm pilots') can make a big difference. to say 'no' to requests you can't get done. and thereby reducing stress. drugs. • Time Management . Coping With Stress People try many ways. moving away from home) Promotion or Demotion at work The table above lists a number of serious stressful events that people experience. an hour long strenuous free-weight workout. can create stress. etc.Eating healthy whole foods and avoiding sugary and fattening treats helps keep the body's internal rhythms more balanced. • Exercise .) helps discharge muscle tension and build strength. • Asking For Assistance . a Yoga or Pilates class. and progressive muscle relaxation. Asking for what you want in a direct but polite way is the best method for getting what you want. • Healthy Diet .Regular physical exertion of any intensity (a gentle 30 minute walk. chronic stress is unhealthy. sex. gambling. Any significantly challenging event. or prayer.) Smoking Over-eating Being Perfectionistic These methods are considered dysfunctional because. over time.Many people are able to relax and to feel part of something larger than themselves by sharing their concerns with trusted others. often more than one at a time. • Assertive Communication .Assaults on physical safety Birth or Adoption Relationship transitions (marriage. resilience and energy.Some stress is caused by poor organization. Learning how to manage appointments. Where acute stress is healthy and very important to our well being. This can take the form of talking with friends and family.Cultivating interior stillness and calmness through meditation and relaxation techniques such as massage therapy. even positive ones like weddings. Drinking as a means of stress reduction works in the short term because alcohol is a powerful muscle and attention relaxer. The end result is addiction to alcohol (a very serious health and social risk) which only adds stress to the drinker's life.Some stress is caused by not getting what you want from other people. psychotherapy or counseling. Repeated use of alcohol ends up causing 'tolerance' which means that people have to drink more and more to get the same effect. etc. to lessen their stress levels. There are many positive and 'functional' methods of coping with stress: • Relaxation/Meditation . they end up making the situation worse for people rather than making it better.

1. De-stress Some people feel that having fun on the side is something that they cannot do because they still have a lot of unfinished things to do. 3. For people who don’t have an idea on how to manage stress. If you want to be able to manage your stress well. you will know what to avoid. Besides taking medicines every time you are stressed out can lead to dependency especially with stress all over the place. After its effects run out. It has been written numerous times and studied in all subject areas. In fact. Work on it. far-reaching. stress management has become a layman’s topic. That way. Some even put off their vacation for months and months. does not mean that it is such an easy thing to do. working on lessening the stressors in your environment and making sure that you can deal with them when you encounter them. After all. Reference: • http://www. This. If you are always stressed out over your work. Medicines can only do so much for you. every minute. Some get stressed out when working on a project while others find romantic liaisons extremely bothersome. It takes some faith and a certain amount of discipline to make it possible for these strategies to work. 2.surgeongeneral. That’s why there is no way of making stress not occur. Because of the great deal of information about it. mental performance and even energy levels. They do not realize that they can .a good way to avoid reinventing the wheel. however. The best thing to do when fighting stress is to deal with it head on. 5. Life is full of stress The earlier you accept this fact. You cannot discount it and you cannot get rid of it. Medicines cannot help you all the way Taking stress tabs can make you better able to cope with stress but this does not mean that you will put all your faith into it and not do anything. That means. it is also up to you to make yourself more prepared to deal with stress. it can be quite confusing. the better you will be at dealing with stress. you cannot even prevent it from happening. they only really work after one makes a commitment to practicing them repeatedly over time. complaining about it will actually only make you stressed out all the more. canceling booked flights because they just can’t leave their work. Learn about your stressors Not everyone gets stressed about the same thing.gov/library/mentalhealth/ Stress is perhaps modern times’ most used word. affecting health. take the time to learn what your stressors are. every hour. We hear it everywhere. 4. All you can possibly do is make sure that you are prepared for it. what you know cannot hurt you! Life is full of stress. Its effects are after all. Some feel that money need not be a priority so much while others worry about it all the time. In fact. The big problem with healthy coping strategies is that they often don't make one feel better immediately. it is being blamed for some ailments especially if there are no ways to detect its causes. Below are some of the lessons that you have to learn in stress management. The most that you can do is to manage it as much as you can and to lessen its effects on you.

is borrowed from ancient Rome's New Year's celebrations. » Zoanthropy is a form of mental disorder in which the patient imagines himself to be a beast. The essence of stress management is after all giving your self time to stop and relax. and their scalps were continually exposed to the health-giving rays of the sun. followed by Mexico. misnamed since it likely originated in the United States. It was designated a national holiday two years later in 1966. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight. which were held from October 10 to 24. allowing you to work better and longer. The pandemic killed 20 million . » The most obese people in the world are in Russia.4 percent. » The Spanish flu. it was changed to the second Monday of the month. as it hit the young and healthy hardest. » The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia). that is the time when your mind and body can function at its optimum levels. were instrumental in getting the governor to sign a bill making the Apple Muffin the official New York State muffin. If it is less elastic. » The modern Christmas custom of displaying a wreath on the front door of one's house. was unlike most flu viruses. 1900. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn. at 25. a forceful gale on England's Salisbury Plain blew over one of the ancient monumental stones at Stonehenge. » The second Monday of October in Japan is Taiiku no Hi. The reason for this was that. When the body has rested and has de-stressed. Thinking about. » Germany was the first European country to establish a system for health insurance for its workers in 1888.actually finish their work ahead of time when they are nor stressed out. Egyptian males had their heads shaved. at 25. Egyptian men never became bald. or Sports Day.1 percent. » Christmas caroling began as an old English custom called Wassailing — toasting neighbors to a long and healthy life. » According to Greek historian Herodotus. the goddess of health. even reading about yawning can set you off. it is not healthy. believed that the heart was the center of the mental process. in 2000. » The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking. second only to fear of public speaking. a national holiday intended to foster healthy minds and bodies through physical activity. » Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. They called these gifts strenae after Strenia. as children. » The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood without fatal results. It became the custom to bend these branches into a ring and display them on doorways. Aristotle. It was originally established to commemorate the 1964 Olympic Games held in Tokyo. "MENTAL HEALTH TRIVIAS" » The Bear Road Elementary School children in North Syracuse. » Greek philosopher. » While the world was busy welcoming the arrival of the twentieth century on December 31. New York. Romans wished each other "good health" by exchanging branches of evergreens. » Sigmund Freud considered repression of the sense of smell a major cause of mental illness.

Comparatively. or even 135 — for the health of the lower back. Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches. have less than 10 percent body fat. or about 17 oz. when hooked up to an EEG machine. followed by Mexico. then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches. » The most obese people in the world are in Russia. » The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor dates back to early European history. » The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking. even reading about yawning can set you off.to 40 million people in 1918. as it hit the young and healthy hardest. love. » Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs. about 13 million died in the battles of World War I. and health. at 25. » A bowl of lime Jell-O. » A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. » A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight. of gas in a single flatulent emission. dried. » Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good. » The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood without fatal results. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn. good fortune.1 percent. many children. on the other hand. at 25. » The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches.5 oz.5 oz. happiness. exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman. as they do now. » Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good. the king baboon at 8 inches. in a day. was unlike most flu viruses. A woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. or even 135 — for the health of the lower back. » The Spanish flu. » It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3. and canned meats or meat . Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die. misnamed since it likely originated in the United States. » A bowl of lime Jell-O. they provide necessary stimulation of the skin. or about 17 oz. The models used in most of the advertising for abdominal machines. exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman. The models used in most of the advertising for abdominal machines. it is not healthy. If it is less elastic. Thinking about. when hooked up to an EEG machine. At 10.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater. in a day. Comparatively. » Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh. » It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3. have less than 10 percent body fat. of gas in a single flatulent emission. on the other hand.4 percent. second only to fear of public speaking. about 13 million died in the battles of World War I. A woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. Sugared almonds symbolized then. The pandemic killed 20 million to 40 million people in 1918. » The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia).

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service estimates that it uncovers more than 3. » Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh. many children. » The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches. about 13 million died in the battles of World War I. » Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good. at 25. at 25.4 percent. as they do now. even reading about yawning can set you off. Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. even reading about yawning can set you off.1 percent. of gas in a single flatulent emission. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service estimates that it uncovers more than 3. the king baboon at 8 inches. happiness. Comparatively. » A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat.4 percent.000 violations a month at international airports. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.5 oz. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn. » Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs. If it is less elastic. Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. » The Spanish flu. love. exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman. have less than 10 percent body fat. The pandemic killed 20 million to 40 million people in 1918.000 violations a month at international airports. » It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3. and border ports. was unlike most flu viruses. » The most obese people in the world are in Russia. and canned meats or meat products from most foreign countries. or even 135 — for the health of the lower back. dried. misnamed since it likely originated in the United States. » A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are at their peak. at 25. followed by Mexico. and health. The models used in most of the advertising for abdominal machines. in a day. » The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor dates back to early European history. » The most obese people in the world are in Russia. Sugared almonds symbolized then. then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches. and border ports. followed by . A woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. Thinking about. good fortune. or about 17 oz. Thinking about. » The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia). and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches. At 10. second only to fear of public speaking. » A bowl of lime Jell-O. seaports. it is not healthy. » The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood without fatal results. they provide necessary stimulation of the skin. seaports. » The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking. on the other hand. when hooked up to an EEG machine. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die. » A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are at their peak. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn. as it hit the young and healthy hardest.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater.products from most foreign countries.

» The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia). » The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking. they provide necessary stimulation of the skin. happiness. and border ports. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn. was unlike most flu viruses. misnamed since it likely originated in the United States. Thinking about. at 25. then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches. the king baboon at 8 inches. » The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood without fatal results. when hooked up to an EEG machine.1 percent. » A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat.1 percent. or even 135 — for the health of the lower back. » A bowl of lime Jell-O. exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman. The pandemic killed 20 million to 40 million people in 1918. » The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor dates back to early European history. If it is less elastic. in a day. The pandemic killed 20 million . second only to fear of public speaking. have less than 10 percent body fat. Comparatively. and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die. and canned meats or meat products from most foreign countries. misnamed since it likely originated in the United States. at 25. » The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood without fatal results. as it hit the young and healthy hardest. followed by Mexico. about 13 million died in the battles of World War I. » The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches. seaports. or about 17 oz. The models used in most of the advertising for abdominal machines. good fortune. as they do now. dried. » The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking. » Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good. of gas in a single flatulent emission. even reading about yawning can set you off. at 25. was unlike most flu viruses. on the other hand. as it hit the young and healthy hardest. second only to fear of public speaking. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service estimates that it uncovers more than 3. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.4 percent. many children. love. » The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia). » The Spanish flu. it is not healthy. » It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3. » The Spanish flu. At 10. » Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs.5 oz.Mexico. » Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight. If it is less elastic. it is not healthy. A woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. » A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are at their peak » Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Sugared almonds symbolized then. » The most obese people in the world are in Russia. and health.000 violations a month at international airports.

or you may never get a job. college. And when you are finally sitting at your desk or driving your car or working or contributing to the economy. happiness. But as you grow older. or about 17 oz. in a day. How can you motivate yourself? For a lot of people who have been burned out in school. live your life without losing your energy. The problem with a lot of people is that they work hard but they don’t know what their work is for. on the other hand. What are you motivating yourself to do? Do you merely want to finish a job. you cannot simply sit back. A woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. as they do now. and you can motivate yourself to get it. » Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good. Comparatively. then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches. good fortune. and health. » Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh.000 violations a month at international airports. when hooked up to an EEG machine. » A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. many children. especially when you have grown up in a neighborhood or household that is generally laid back and easy to please. . the king baboon at 8 inches. there are a few tips that you can consider when you feel that you cannot push yourself further or farther. If you know exactly what you want. or the workplace. of gas in a single flatulent emission. they provide necessary stimulation of the skin. and watch your deadlines go by in school. and border ports. you may come to realize that motivation is key to many human activities. . dried.5 oz. » A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are at their peak. Striving for money is an empty goal. seaports. . » The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor dates back to early European history. Do they want money? Are they simply working toward money? Do you want money.to 40 million people in 1918. However. or do you want to earn a lot of money? Set tangible. You cannot simply slack off in college and drink yourself to death (or a series of F’s). you cannot simply leave all your duties and lie down at home. relax. and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches. you can get it. exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman. or at least manageable goals for yourself. have less than 10 percent body fat. » It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service estimates that it uncovers more than 3. The models used in most of the advertising for abdominal machines. You will need to do as you did in school: meet deadlines. complete requirements. and in general. For one. and canned meats or meat products from most foreign countries.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater. or does your money have a purpose? Give yourself a tangible purpose so that you can know what you are working for. » A bowl of lime Jell-O. MOTIVATION Motivation is not something that is easy to come by.Know what exactly it is you want. finish reports. Sugared almonds symbolized then. » Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs. this can be a difficult thing to achieve. or even 135 — for the health of the lower back. or you may never get your ticket to go to college. about 13 million died in the battles of World War I. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die. At 10.Give your work a purpose. love. » The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches.

for example. One of the most effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. or even just taking a walk. Sometimes. . there are many ways to build self-esteem. so that you are not constantly being barraged with work. have some time alone to yourself. It could also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. When you start getting fatigued more often. career development or work performance. Sometimes. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or . It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the United States and United Kingdom. or promise to take yourself to the movies if you complete your work. Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. How do you this? The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. you are beginning to have doubts. such as snacks and a cup of hot chocolate. Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering from low self-esteem. In which case. It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind. In other words. it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it. and your family to have a better house and car might be even better. being burned out means that you need to stay away from things for a moment. If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn into a habit. you can get so much work that you are saturated with stress. to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence. your parents to enjoy their retirement. and get an outsider’s view of your situation. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in ones self. It is believed that self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. . can work too. Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. . your body might be telling you to slow down. and slowing down can mean re-energizing yourself by taking a vacation. striving for more money so that you can help your siblings go to college. If you do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem. Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive affirmations.Reward yourself for a job well done! Plan out a trip for yourself. You need to stay sane to keep on working in the long run. and you reach the point where you simply want to give up and not start working. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of his or her life. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is to replace them with positive ones. Fortunately for these individuals. A positive self image simply means an agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes. Little rewards.striving for money so that you can get a good house and a nice car might be more tangible. BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. Then simply replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.Don’t be afraid to say no when you are offered yet another duty. ability to build and maintain friendships and romantic relationships. You may want to set aside some alone time each day for you to recharge. Keep your work to a manageable level. If. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.Take a break. It is largely affected by how one has been treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents. One cannot simply will a negative thought away.

Then simply replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief. you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends and relatives. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day. for example. Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive affirmations. Sometimes just knowing that somebodY. Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering from low self-esteem. in every way I am getting better and better. How do you this? The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. The words of encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is to replace them with positive ones. in every way I am getting better and better. The words of encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the United States and United Kingdom. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day. Fortunately for these individuals. Finally. A positive self image simply means an agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes. there are many ways to build self-esteem. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in ones self. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. Finally. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low selfesteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day. Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it. It could also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. . In other words. It is believed that self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. Their love and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. In which case. If you do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem. Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends and relatives. If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn into a habit. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem. If. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or recited repeatedly. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence. you are beginning to have doubts. It is largely affected by how one has been treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents. Their love and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes just knowing that somebody believes in you makes you believe in yourself also. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low selfesteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of his or her life. It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind. One of the most effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. career development or work performance. One cannot simply will a negative thought away.recited repeatedly. ability to build and maintain friendships and romantic relationships.

mentalhealthrehab. Anger is a normal response to such a situation. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves. However they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they are. kids. Individuals. loss of their job and loss of their own identity. Anger can be a terribly harmful emotion if it isn't controlled. While some people become reckless and even abusive. it will eventually cause major problems. anger management is not meant to be a punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. The first step to controlling anger issues it to admit there is a problem. Unable to accept their problem prevents them from seeking the help they require. Naturally something happens to set a person off making them angry. It also teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions. These programs are broken down to address different people. couples and families. Their fits of anger are always blamed on something else. their anger. However anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation. Depending on the individual. If a person continues down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out. There are all sorts of anger management strategies. help them figure out why they become so angry. it can cause them to become angry. These people could really use a few lessons in anger management. Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested. bottling up their negative emotions and hurt. loss of their family. who have trouble admitting to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions. normal life. Some lash out or become extremely defensive. Reference:http://www. you are actually changing your lifestyle and not merely applying some techniques. adults. Anger management is designed to help the individual work out their problems. teens. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it also impacts everyone and everything around them. Anger management is meant to teach the person techniques which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long. anger may cause a person to become enraged or even furious. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling their anger are important in anger management. Without anger management this individual will likely experience loss. It is essential to convince the person with anger problems. Anger may be a healthy. Controlling anger is considered anger management. it's a big problem. Have the confidence in meeting people . Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. 1.com SOCIALIZATION Living the law of attraction to gain more friends is more important than just applying the law of attraction for situations. When something or someone interferes with an individual in a negative manner. Here I'll show you how to live the law of attraction so that you can gain more friends in 5 steps. There's always something or someone to blame. the circumstance and their emotions. often play the blame game. When you live the law of attraction. There are programs created specifically to help those with anger issues. Anger management could change this individual and ensure a healthy. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people to work on their anger. People who become angry behave in different ways. They have difficulty seeing the situation as being their fault. normal emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making them destructive and violent. anger.ANGER MANAGEMENT Anger is an emotion experienced by kids and adults alike.

See them giving you respect for being a confident person. 3. If you want to make friends. 5. think about this new friend at night as you go to bed and believe that you will meet them again and will become good friends. You can apply the law of attraction to give yourself more confidence when meeting people. Say to yourself that your huge army of friends will provide the help and knowledge you need whenever you need them. Feel and hear everybody laughing and see yourself shaking everyone's hands as they leave the party. 2. Before entering the gathering. 4. The law of attraction works best when you believe what you are desiring. Do this visualization often and you'll be attracting more friends that you can handle. Join Free Now! www. When you expect something to happen without any doubt. see yourself having a drink with them and talking about business and family matters with them. imagine yourself becoming good friends with them. What to do when you meet someone When you are introduced to someone for the first time.com .One of the main obstacles for people growing their circle of friends is having the confidence to meet people. As you shake their hand. Self Affirmation Say to yourself that you have lots of friends and that you will try to allocate your time to each one. Spend more time around people. expect to meet more friends. you first need to put yourself out there somehow in order to meet people. after greeting them with a smile. Do this in your visualization. Think about yourself taking the initiative to meet people you don't know and introduce yourself. Imagine yourself being the host and introducing the friends that don't know each other. You are attracting happiness to your life and you are attracting friends. Expect To Meet friends Whenever you go out with your friends to a social gathering. expect to meet quite a lot of interesting people there and expect that you'll become good friends with them in the near future. Friends seldom come knocking on your door while you sit at home playing computer games. Ads by Google Meet Foreign Men Foreign Men Seek Filipina Ladies for Dating and Chat. See yourself walking up to people confidently and see them reacting to you in a friendly manner. This type of visualization is very powerful. see yourself having a party in your house. Imagine them coming up to your house and spending the night with your family. Say to yourself that you have more friends that you can handle and that you are happy to spend time with them.FilipinaHeart. This gives off positive vibrations and you will start to believe that you'll be making friends nonstop. Visualize Friend Gathering When you are visualizing. you speed up the results from using the law of attraction. See all your friends coming over and enjoying themselves. You are using the law of attraction on the spot and to continue with this.

Many conversationalists say that it is good to follow a 30/70 (30% talking. • 5 Volunteer... it can make it a lot easier to start a conversation and plan activities together. Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like this warm weather? What kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where did you get shoes like that? • 9 Make small talk. or the person in front of you on the lunch line. joining a local team with a laid-back attitude could be a great way to make new friends. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts--when you may never talk to that person again. As long as you enjoy the sport and support your teammates. You can join a club. • 10 Introduce yourself towards the end of the conversation. It can be as simple as saying "Oh. the other person will typically do the same. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store. but if you have something in common with people. You don't necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them. if you have a minute?" or "Can you help me decide which one of these is a better gift for my mom?") or a compliment ("That's a nice car. and any time you talk to someone. Don't be too picky. • 4 Join a sports team. . Remember his or her name! If you show that you remembered things from your past conversation(s) with the person. or alternatives.• 2 Join an organization with people who have common interests. • 8 Start a conversation. Bounce a few words back and forth for a little bit. • 3 Use the web. and emphasize the positive—how such a situation can be avoided in the future. such expressions may look troubled or disinterested. and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the way you do—a common cause. a comment about your immediate environment (The weather is a classic: "At least it's not raining like last week!"). Frucle and MySpace are great way to meet new people and learn more about the people you meet. Be approachable by not squinting (get some glasses)."). or you just remain acquaintances-but once in a while you'll actually make a friend. a request for help ("Can you help me carry a few boxes. frowning or appearing blankly deadpan. In fact. • 7 Make eye contact and smile. but not all teams are so competitive. try searching for just a location. by the way.". By working together you build bonds with people. the person sitting next to you on the bus. Even if you're complaining about something. make sure it's something you're both dissatisfied with. It's a great way to meet new local people! Social networking sites such as Facebook. • 6 Talk to people. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team. If you have an unfriendly countenance. some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all. my name is. but get out! You can join any group or just start your own. not only will you look intelligent but he or she will see that you were paying attention and are willing to be a true friend." or "I love your shoes. or go to church but you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. There are many ways to do this. you have a chance at making a lasting friend. Once you introduce yourself. you don't have to be involved with an organization to be social. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. If you don't know of a specific topic. 70% listening) pattern during small talk when possible. go to school. Keep the conversation light and cheery. By the same token. people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship.

and do not stand them up. If you and your friend agree to meet somewhere. check in with your friend and ask directly. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends--"one-ups-man-ship" is a put down.). ask questions about their interests. Listen carefully to what people say. initiating some of the activities. take the opportunity to give them your number or email address and invite them to join you. let me give you my number/email address. If you have a club. This is especially important if you meet someone who you aren't otherwise likely to meet again. In general. call them as soon as you realize it. Don't make them wait for you unexpectedly. I've got to go. ask him or her more about it and. If you are not sure about the pace of your new friendship. If you clearly express interest (when? where? can anyone come?) they'll probably invite you. band.. and don't try to force intimacy to grow quickly. for example) to pursue this interest. When you say you'll do something.k. Be someone that people know that they can count on. Far more important than this. and not everybody is able to say "Slow down.. is the ability to show that you're interested in others. That will give you a better opportunity to talk and get to know each other a little bit better. if appropriate. • 14 Don't do anything to pressure someone into being friends with you. • 13 Ask them out for lunch or coffee. remember important details about them (their names. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. remembering birthdays. do it. asking how the other person is feeling) or else the friendship will become unbalanced and an uneasiness or distance is likely to arise. for example. that you think they might enjoy. You can chat your heart out but it won't get you a friend if you don't open up the opportunity for another conversation or meeting. Once you've started spending time with potential friends." . whether they get together with others (in a club. their likes and dislikes). Maybe they don't have time for new friends—don't take it personally! Just offer your contact info to whoever seems to be potentially a good friend. • 17 Be a good listener. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk about anything. A good way to extend yourself is to say: "Hey. it's rude. • 16 Be reliable. and just take the time to learn more about them. don't call someone repeatedly or stop by uninvited (unless you have established that stopping by unannounced is o. If you're not going to make it on time or make it at all.instead. however. and it is certainly not a good way to launch a potential friendship. well. • 18 Be trustworthy. this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. Seize the day! • 12 If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest. but that's fine. too fast can be scary or intimidating. they may run the other way! • 15 Be a good friend. and eventually somebody will get in touch. Too much.• 11 Initiate a get-together. but try to err on the side of less. the move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time. take friendship slowly. If so. etc. Never chide acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party. remember to do your part (i. and refrain from overstaying your welcome anywhere.e. don't be late. they may or may not give you their information in return. The key to being . You don't want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. church. but if you ever want to talk over lunch or coffee or anything like that." This gives the person the opportunity to contact you. It's understandable to want more of a good thing. Apologize and ask to reschedule.

it is best that you learn how to control your emotions in order to avoid situations where you can hardly get hold of yourself. so that it will not be bottled up inside you. After evaluating and analyzing your own emotions. however. While you always give people the benefit of the doubt. With this you can have a more objective approach in dealing with your own emotions under certain conditions. they may notice and become jealous. think of other ways by which you could have responded to these situations. As you befriend more people. and what could be the result if you did so. but are nowhere to be found when you really need them. you can now imagine your options as to how you should handle yourself next time you are confronted with similar incidents. Recognize what and how you feel about a particular circumstance. • 21 "Friends of a Friend"If you have a friend who knows some good people that you aren't aquainted with. ease your way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible. afraid and angry. Likewise.a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets. It is a great way to make some friends who have common interests. you can decide now which reaction will yield positive results and which one may result in negative . such that you feel sorry in the end. such as a new volunteer opportunity. ask them to invite those people to hang out with the two of you. By matching your emotions with specific situations. there could be a tendency for you to hold back your emotion. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. and do your best to be a positive influence in theirs. Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life. sometimes you realize that certain friendships are unhealthy. The worst thing that can happen is for you to contain your emotion and later explode when you are no longer able to hold it back. Be honest about yourself and your beliefs. EMOTION CONTROL Many times in life you may have regretted uttering certain words when very angry. constantly critical. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore. 2. so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in confidence. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well. • 20 Choose your friends wisely. be there. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you. hence enabling you to deal with your emotions more efficiently. Analyze your reactions to previous incidents in your life. you may find that some are easier to get along with than others. or introducing dangers or threats into your life. To control your emotion. • 19 Be there for the person. Know the things that make you joyful. You've probably heard of fair-weather friends. But there are times when you just need to express your emotion. 3. Mr. or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on. Indeed. Out of your own fear that you may be giving away your feelings too much. Smith!”? Now. Hence. you will be able to understand your psyche better. so that you can honestly say that you don't have enough time in your schedule to spend time with them (but don't substitute their time for time with other friends. or that you might hurt someone else’s feelings or ego. and don't gossip about others or spread rumors or they will think you like stories better than friends. albeit under reasonable control. Don’t attempt to keep your emotion inside you at all times. sad. take note of these suggestions: 1. If this is the case. you need to build trust. By doing this you will now recreate mini-scenarios in your mind much as if they are appearing to you in flashcards. Did you yell at the person who suddenly crossed the road as you shifted your wheels to the next bend? Did you ignore the little girl neighbor when she tried to chat you up with a high strung “Hello. letting out vindictive and hateful words at other people can cause permanent damage to your relationship with them. Preoccupy yourself with other things. such as if a person is obsessively needy or controlling towards you. and more drama will ensue).

you have decided to declare a silent war with him and his favorite employee. • Understand that you can never change how you feel towards certain things unless you change your attitude and beliefs in life. hence learning how to control our emotions and not letting our emotions control us should be our primary concern. you lose your chance of obtaining a higher position during the next wave of promotions in your office.consequences. Now because you have that hidden resentment towards these two people. you adopt a negative attitude toward your work. You may not be able to instantly overcome your negative emotion toward your co-workers. human beings are supposed to be rational. Your emotion can sometimes ruin chances for important opportunities in life. However. • Sometimes we become unreasonable when we are faced with overwhelming negativities. Take the following case for instance: Since you have convinced yourself that your boss is playing favorites among your peers. but you can slowly change it by adjusting your view on these people. Once you have changed your view or perspective. your emotion will eventually transform to a more positive leaning. REFERENCE: http://www.com/family-relationships/how-to-controlemotion .howtodothings. In short. Your performance suffers so that your superiors’ evaluation is below the standard rankings.

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