Spoiler Alert! I'm getting on my soapbox for what I think are ideas worth spreading.

This comes from my personal opinion but I am hoping some of you can relate. This all started when I went to my profile to change the picture after Halloween but saw the empty 'bio' section and decided it was time to tell my story....and for the record, I have never owned a tinfoil hat! BIO: 42yo single and gay healthy HIV positive (HIV Elite Controller they tell me.) Since finding out I was HIV+ in 2006, I actually started taking much better care of myself - or so I thought. Around this time last year I was experiencing frequent episodes of shortness of breath, lack of energy and heart pounding in my chest so hard with the slightest bit of physical activity that I could hear it pulsating from within my skull. I was concerned but just attributed it to being out of shape, the sketchy neighborhood I live in, stress combined for really strong anxiety attacks. However, I began to soon realize it was far more a serious when I had to take a break to catch my breath halfway up one flight of stairs, or had to stop at least three times going one city block uphill on foot (unless I walked backwards interestingly enough) or when my ankles and feet became so swollen that is was painful to walk. When the latter symptom surfaced, I do what I always do to learn about something I am not very well informed about - I asked the internet. As much as I love the internet and the instant access to anything I want to know, medical sites that help you self diagnose according to symptoms should probably be a little more restricted for people like myself because a couple hours after starting my investigative quest, I was overcome with stress from all the possible, horribly disabling conditions my symptoms indicated. Was is diabetes? Kidney Failure? Cellulitis? Rheumatoid arthritis? Well, turns out it was not any one of those, but something even worse - Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. It is a rare, progressive disorder characterized by high blood pressure (hypertension) of the main artery of the lungs (pulmonary artery) where blood vessels carry blood from the heart through the lungs. It is a terminal condition with no cure or much of a hope for one yet, very few treatment options, and by the time most are properly diagnosed, it is already well established, with most patients having already progressed to moderate to severe classifications according to current guidelines. Along with the lack of understanding on how to stop, reverse or even properly treat this condition, the exact cause PAH is unknown. Unfortunately, what is known is that as the disease progresses, the blood vessels in the pulmonary artery get constricted increasingly tighter due to a cancer-like fibrous growth on the smooth endothelial cells. The smaller pathways for the blood to travel make the heart work that much harder to get blood through the body and eventually the right side of the heart get overworked to the point of failure. I'm sure you can guess what happens then. Naturally, hearing this news sucked real bad, especially since the HIV to this point had basically been a non-issue because I don't need to nor have ever taken any

HIV meeds and definitely will not be in the future (more on that later). My Tcells have always been in the 750 range and my viral load basically undetectable so I didn't understand how it could be that I developed this new condition due to my HIV as it is generally assumed by the medical community. Truth be told, there is no definite link that shows how HIV can lead to PAH other than a few loose theories and speculations. If my HIV was so benign, then just how was it responsible for such a serious and deadly secondary disorder? I was angry, confused, scared and quickly sliding into a state of comfortable and complete denial but then came the harsh realities of what awaited me in the future - or my extremely truncated new revised future I should say. Being told your ballpark expiration date is definitely a sobering experience and unlike the relative ease of which I received, accepted and assimilated the HIV diagnosis, I felt as though I had been going 200+ mph before slamming into a wall with no airbag. Once the shock subsided subsided somewhat, my mind started focusing on all the negative, such as I was never going to be 50 years old, what would happen to my new dog who should live a good 15 - 17 years and was only 2 and a half? The fact that any chance for love was now null and void since not only is it likely that most would shy away from a relationship with a terminally ill person, there is no way I was going to let anyone get close to me like that so neither of us would have to suffer the pain of loss. So what was my last few years going to be like I asked myself? This is when I began the not-so-pleasant task of re-evaluating EVERYTHING about me and my life. Every single choice, major or minor or seemingly unimportant I had made up this point came under intense scrutiny under this harsh new focus (as this sort of news tends to do) and it immediately made me realize I had not been a very active participant in my physical and mental health upkeep all these years. I rarely thought about my health or nutrition unless something went wrong which it rarely did. And in the rare case I did acquire something more serious than a cold or hangover, I would just go to the doctor (if I could afford it being non-insured most of my adult life) and he would prescribe an antibiotic or some other pill to make it all better. I had never ever thought to question the medical community but upon doing just the slightest bit of research and general reading, I came to the shocking realization that I had made a very serious mistake with this line of thinking. There was only one thing to do - take back control and assume full responsibility for MY HEATLH and well being. I had to become an active participant in the mental and physical health by conducting my own research, then re-searching again and again until I found the answers I needed to beat this thing that threatened to be a dark cloud of despair for the remainder of my days if I let it. Knowledge protects and ignorance endangers is one of my favorite quotes (thank you Laura Knight-Jadczyk) and I felt the truth of these words down to my core. Early on in life, I set out on a path paved with the shiny cobblestones of gold,

filled with fun and glamour and lots of escape via hedonistic pleasures of the flesh, often chemically enhanced. This behavior didn't alarm my inner safety monitor because youth has a built-in sense of invulnerability (albeit a false sense) which I blindly followed as an enthusiastic proponent of the mantra 'Better Living through Chemistry.' Those is my life who pointed out the trappings of such a lifestyle were quickly dismissed in my mind as overreacting as old fashioned and obviously limited in their awareness. What me worry? Remember, if I messed up there was modern medicine waiting to rescue me with a pill or procedure to fix what I broke. Better yet, there might even be a painkiller for the recovery or that could be repurposed for fun once it was no longer needed for pain or whatever, right? As I got older and life got harder, this methodology began to show signs of deterioration, just like my health, and started to not work all the time. The solution was to apply more chemicals which addressed or masked the damage the prior onslaught of chemicals had left as a legacy. It was a classes 'Catch 22' but I didn't see the total trap I was walking directly into because I was taking chemicals to deal with this problem / condition / disability, etc. which worked by making me simply not care, forget about or replace the old bad habits and choices with new bad habits. Let me clarify here that I am not just referring to recreational drugs as my chemical sources - the damning chemicals were everywhere from the 'medicine' I bought over the counter or was prescribed in higher potencies by my Doctor to the comfort food I turned to when I took a hit to my emotional health to the cuban coffee that jump started my morning to the very air I was breathing having chosen to live in an urban environment, surrounded by toxins, pollutants and untold billions of germs and more that are part and parcel of city living. Not knowing exactly how I got there, I ended up alternating between a severely depressive state and one that was positive enough to allow me to be a functioning member of society, at least enough to appear as such to others. With this new ailment came a new understanding about myself and my place in life and the universe which lead to the conclusion that in order to validate this new awareness, I had to change because the old way was not working to my benefit anymore if it ever was.    Researching my condition and the body in general, I discovered what I see as the simple truth that I had spent years burying under tons of denial. Anyone who knows me well, knows how I hate to be wrong so of course it came to be I had to admit to myself that I was indeed wrong about many things. Very wrong. Especially about chemicals… The truth is the big questions about life have very simple answers. We just tend to complicate everything, answer and the questions, which I attribute to the dual nature of our two definitely individual hemispheres that make up our brain. Our bodies are self-contained and have all the tools needed to maintain optimal operating conditions if provided the proper fuel and not overworked or abused.

The overall defense mechanism is the body is programmed to fight and neutralize / eliminate any foreign (synthetic) invaders in our system. For example, a body rejects metal so when jewelry is removed from a piercing, the body wastes no time closing up the hole. Another good example is if you have ever taken basic over the counter multi-vitamins only to have them noticeably change the color and oder of your urine to a very unnatural fluorescent hue? This is just physical evidence of the body's completely dogmatic persistence in regards to the elimination of all this is unnatural, man-made, synthetic, fake or pseudo. Not only are substances such as these totally useless in the healthy functioning of the mind and body, but they are a total waste of time, energy, money and resources which damage our collective body of the human race and that of our protector, Mother Earth. Realizing I had misjudged chemicals led to another realization about how completely wrong I was to blindly trust and follow modern medicine. Please don't misunderstand here - Doctors in general are to be applauded for their commitment to helping others and should be respected and honored when they truly ascribe to the Hippocratic oath they must take as part of their official and licensed career. However, it is dangerous bordering on plain stupid to place in them complete trust, granting them total control and final word in the direction and maintenance of your personal health. They are not the all-knowing sages filled with limitless wisdom we are conditioned to believe they are by our parents, schools, tv shows, novels, plays and movies etc. Unfortunately, a lot of general health care issues are diagnosed and treated based on flawed, very generalized or incomplete conclusions and theories, basically coming down to an educated guess, refined over and over via more trial and error until the desired outcome is reached - or the opposite of failure dominates which is sadly far too common, even today. Mind you it's not always the Doctor's fault, they too have bought into the conditioning that has lead them to be a part of such a warped, unbalanced and decidedly not healthy health care system - one that deals in disease care focused on expensive treatments with toxic man-made drugs, many that come with numerous negative side effects which create altogether new disorders, and an alarming amount of invasive surgery solutions that not matter how standard a procedure or relatively simple operation, are always traumatic for the body and mind of the patient, even when deemed a success. Don't you think it's odd that most medical degree programs do not have any classes on nutrition and the body much less have it be a required discipline. "An apple a day will keep the Doctor away…makes you think." This methodology is so far removed from the natural ways man has maintained health throughout our evolution as a species, one based on a lifestyle of balance. Balance within your mind, within your family/community and within the ecosystems of the planet - our only home. It worked for as far back as we have knowledge of man and yet we abandoned this lifestyle and exchanged it the the much more convenient play now, pay later because, you know, there's a pill for

that. Just ask your Doctor or your iPhone because there IS and app for that, too! So I am now on a quest to restore my body to its natural intended state of balance, happiness and good health and via those tried and true but largely forgotten or ignored methods of our ancestors - a natural organic diet based on my particular nutritional type, which includes knowing the location of the land where the vegetables and fruit I eat are grown and where the fields of grass are that the livestock I'll consume feeds out in the open, free of disease and overcrowding. A change to this type of diet will restore the life essential minerals and vitamins that are frighteningly deficient in my body, deplete by medications, recreational drugs, processed foods and stress which, the latter being a true killer, especially when it is a near constant state for a body. Working in tandem with diet will be man's built-in healing power of the   mindbody connection. Science has finally caught up and is now able to verify and explain what used to be considered new age brouhaha or simply dismissed as crazy talk because it couldn't be proven with the hard tangible data and fact-filled spreadsheets we seem to require in order to believe. For these lifestyle changes to work and hopefully stop or even reverse the damage happening to my lungs and heart, I have to commit to the eliminating (as much as possible) synthetic toxins, heavy metals, microwaves, radio waves, environmental pollution, industrial chemicals, plastics etc. that are increasingly forced upon society, often without our knowledge and always without informed consent, by our elected (Hahahahahaha) officials and their bosses, the pharmaceutical companies, mega corporations and financial institutions that have somehow taken over all aspects of our government and that have absolutely NO interest in a healthy, alert, happy population. Why would they -  there is no money to be made that way. At least not without having to change, reorganize and retrofit everything which would be actual WORK for these people, God forbid! The Elite don't really work for their wealth, unless you consider trading abstract representations of commodities, or trading billions in arms for billions of real estate mile while having a three martini lunch in the Executive Board Room, or on the back nine of any exotic golf course, or among the towering granduer of the redwoods at Bohemian Grove real honest to goodness work. Nor is it work to inherit wealth passed down through generations or by taking by force but disguised by bureaucratic laws from the multitudes that make up the classes beneath the ruling elite, their subjects, as has been happening the not only the last two years as they systematically wipe out the middle class in this country, but the last two thousand years if not more to the beginning of man's recorded history. It's a hard truth to take, but the ruling elite are poisoning all of us, reducing our mental and physical potential via nefarious and deliberate sabotage often under the guise of public heatlh, such as highly toxic fluoride added to drinking water, or the neurotoxin mercury in our dental fillings which gets combined with

aluminum and injected into our bodies with untested and possibly unsafe vaccines for viruses of questionable origin starting almost the moment we enter this world from our mother's womb! This is only natural because we all know that babies come into this deficient in these viruses and toxins so gotta fix that right away just in case there was pandemic of a disease that never existed before we made it in the first place, right. Wrong. So very wrong. Once we are injected adequately with our future flues and brain damage inducing inducing vaccinations, we then face a future of being fed antibiotic laden animal product that is often contaminated due to the horribly unsanitary conditions in the humongous meat factories of America (thus the need for all the antibiotics of course.) As sides to our meat or to wash it all down they use aspartame in as many products as possible, a accidentally discovered compound known to cause cancer without a doubt yet still unleashed upon the public after the info was buried and ignored by the very government sworn to protect us. If aspartame/diet versions of products aren't too your liking, there's the good old standby sweetener of all things - High Fructose Corn Syrup. Science discovered that HFC is the probable cause for obesity in humans and likely the reason diabetes is now as common as a cold, with children developing adult onset diabetes at increasingly alarming rates. Scientists back up their negative claims so strongly and directly to the public now, that the industry is rebranding HFC in the hopes we are stupid enough or too busy worrying about foreclosures and unemployment to notice. Their attitude towards we the consumers is not only blatantly insulting and dangerous but downright criminal when considering the number of deaths that can claim as some part the cause these corporate governments and their unending inventory of products and procedures for every aspect of modern life - it's a new world order and has been for some time, we just don't want to admit it. If you are interested in breaking free from the slow but intentional and deliberate poisoning of your mind and body, here are a couple sites I found that can offer you the tools your need to take control such as fact-based unbiased information via videos, articles, research papers and data, news stories from sources not controlled by US media giants. http:www.mercola.com http:www.sott.net http:www.alternet.org The distribution of information and knowledge was tightly controlled in the past  but no longer thanks to the internet. The power of information is available to all within a system that allows for instant exchange of ideas to build upon this knowledge so we are fools to not use this to our advantage! Devote a portion of your Farmville or Bejeweled time and do your own research about issues

important to you so that you can make a truly informed decision about YOUR health, your life and your future. Knowledge protects. Ignorance and denial endanger - I know from first hand experience. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH MAKE A CHOICE ACT accordingly. It's not only your life, but your family and friends and the survival of the entire human race that is at stake. Dramatic but true and we are at a crucial point in our short history that can go either way and they are working hard to make sure it's their way. Fortunately, throughout history, it is not large groups or whole societies that implement revolutionary change - it always starts with ONE PERSON confident in themselves which is projected out and before long become a wave of monumental change. ONE PERSON does make a difference IF YOU JUST TRY! I'm not asking anyone to join any religion or organization or club or mercenary group or even to agree with me. I just felt I had to share what I've learned with anyone that might want to listen, and to provide direction to resources that are honest and unbiased so that you may come to your own conclusions instead of being told what to think by tv, magazines, the government etc. DO YOUR OWN RESERACH and then re-search again if needed and find your answers. 

p.s. I almost forgot this all began with me and my health issue, Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. November is in fact National Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Month. If you would like to learn more about this devastating disease and the numerous ways you can help to make a difference, following are a few site to get your started. I ask all of you to do me a personal favor and make a donation to one of the many organizations or sites mentioned here throughout my lengthy bio entry…..$100, $1000, $10000 or even $5 will do, just please donate something. I know you all have a tiny bit to spare and you're lying if you say you don't! I rarely ask for help like this but now I am on my knees and pleading for your assistance and it's not for me, it's so hopefully there won't be anyone like me after I'm done….Make me a hard act to follow.