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GROALS.

CO

Meditation
coach
journal

Guided meditations,
affirmations, and more!

BY KIA MCCLAIN
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
A BRIEF INTRODUCTION

01
CHAPTER ONE
SO YOU THINK MEDITATION IS HARD

10
CHAPTER TWO
HABIT AND PATTERN TRACKING

15
CHAPTER THREE
AFFIRMATIONS OF CHANGE

R E H E A R S I N G S U C C E S S
ESTABLISHING NEW
BEHAVIOR

23
CHAPTER FOUR
FALLING OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH OLD LIFE

31
CHAPTER FIVE
ALIGNING WITH NEW POSSIBILITIES

40
CHAPTER SIX
LIVING IN ABUNDANCE

R E H E A R S I N G S U C C E S S
If we truly believe at the core we are failing,

we would never learn anything new because

AUTHOR'S the first few times things did not go our way

we would give up.

PREFACE This book was written to free you from the

traps that you create for yourself through

irrational thought processes and fears.  My

hope is that, by the time you are done


This journal was written for anyone that reading this book, you will be confident at
struggles with focusing on the necessary being yourself, and living from your inner

action needed to become successful in life. being.

Now, I know what you are thinking, "What

the heck does that have to do with Rehearsing success is training your brain

how you feel when a situation, thing, or


meditation?" 
person is good for you mentally, spiritually,

and physically. This does not mean the


Too often, success is portrayed as an easy 1,
constant avoidance of anything difficult, it
2, 3 step approach that lacks the most
means understanding and loving what
relevant details.    The truth is, just like
healthy is and feels like, then seeking to
anything else in life, success must be remain in that space in all of your day to day
studied and rehearsed.  By the world's interactions with both self, and others!

definition of success, this is nearly

impossible because your target will keep

changing, and your life timer is dwindling.

Practically everyday, and at every stage in

life, the world has mapped out what you

should want, and accomplish, often without

any input, or guidance from you! After a

number of missteps as it would be seen by

the world's standard, I am happy that I was

willing to take many risks in my youth and

young adulthood, in spite of the rigid road

map that many follow.

Those "mistakes" have helped to achieve

great success before the age of 40. In a way,

I needed to go through what I thought was a

failure in order to experience and appreciate

what success really is.  I learned that

"failure" is not what it seems.

Any unauthorized use of the content in this

Honestly, the only way to fail is to try to be e-book journal will be prosecuted to the

someone, or something other than who and fullest extent of the law. Please be aware,

this book is protected by anti-plagiarism


what you truly are. Too often, we overthink
services and instances of copyright
things and we come up with ridiculous
violations will be reported immediately.
notions that we would not apply to any

other portion of our lives.


Copyright 2019- Groals Digital Publishing
C H A P T E R

O N E
CHAPTER 1 -SO YOU THINK MEDITATION IS HARD

1 The results were amazing.  I realized I could

growth hack success.  

I could collect quantifiable data, aka results

that led to a favorable outcome, or an

outcome I was not necessarily looking for,

simply by backtracking through the

decision-making process that led to those

results.

So what is success? Success is an

accumulation of both positive and negative

results that create specific negative, or

positive, outcomes.   Too often, we focus on

one aspect, or the other, instead of both

outcomes, which allows for balance. No

math skills needed, just observation and self-

awareness.

While focusing only on the positive may

CHAPTER seem like a terrific idea to the conventional

mind, one removes

when doing this, balance.


an essential element,

ONE This is where we start the conversation about

the "m" word, meditation. If you look at life

purely based on the decisions you make,

good and bad, eventually you will recognize


What is success?  It took me years to
patterns. I keep engaging in behavior a, b, c,
gather the wisdom and knowledge to
which results in d, e, f, happening. I don't
intelligently answer this question with
particularly like when d, e, f happens, so I
absolute certainty. Many times, I thought I
am going to evaluate what happened at the a,
knew the answer, only to find, I always
b, c stage.
had an extra puzzle piece, or two.

The next logical step is to figure out why


Rather than allowing this to frustrate me, I
you keep doing behavior a, b, and c when
continued to push forward on my mission
you do not like the results, d, e, and f. This
to find out what success is.  Once I found
is where the wonderful rabbit hole begins, in
the answer, it was so simple that I was
which you start digging closer, and closer to
shocked.
your inner self.

The simplicity of the answer shows how


More often than not, this step requires
we as humans over think, and over
intense concentration, not to mention a great
complicate the simplest questions in life.  I
memory, which is why this journal is going
believe I have the mind of a
to become your best friend.
mathematician. Numbers, statistics,

prediction, and anomalies are a huge part


The guided meditations, affirmations, and
of my work as a techie.
journal exercises will help you to dig deep

into your subconscious, and allow you to


I began applying the systematic way that I
become more self-aware of your behavior,
look at problems and mysteries, when
thoughts, and reactions, as well as how you
navigating  the digital space, to everyday
respond to the pressures of life.
life.
CHAPTER 1 - SO YOU THINK MEDITATION IS HARD

2
The purpose of meditation, as many If your mind is unable to find any joy, it

believe, is not merely to relax. The weighs on your spirit. I am sure that you

purpose of meditation is to create balance have heard the terms like, "he or she had a

between your mind, body, and spirit. spirited, healthy response, or a tired spirit".

It is amazing how our sayings bring us so

What many don't understand is that in close to truth.

order to achieve this balance, you must

address and work out what is causing an Bottom line, your mind, body, and spirit are

imbalance. connected, and all three are meant to

function together in a coordinated effort to

The practice of meditation gives you the keep you at the peak of wholeness. A

tools, the will power, and the state of mind, concept that seems to be lost on this

in which to make what often is grueling generation, is that healthy is normal, not

work possible. Meditation often brings up illnesses and disease. Healthy should be your

the parts of us that we don't want to look everyday baseline. You shouldn't "expect" to

at, or acknowledge. Inner work is not easy, become ill, it is not a normal body function.

but it is so rewarding, especially when you

stay dedicated to the work that is necessary This is why, often, you will find that people

to achieve the balance that you seek. who meditate implement several lifestyle

changes, often becoming vegan, eliminating

What does it mean when I say that the chemicals, and more. Because they are in

purpose of meditation is to balance one's tune with their inner being their body is free

mind, spirit, and body? This can seem like to send messages that certain practices,

a daunting task, when thinking about how places, and people, don't feel good to the

to practically apply this idea to one's life. body, mind, or spirit.

The simple way to explain balance when it

pertains to your mind, body, and spirit, is

to say, each segment is whole and healthy,

therefore, able to effectively work with one

another in unity and synchronicity. 

To get a better understanding of this

concept, let's take a look at what a person

may look like when all three of these

segments are out of balance. Let's start

with the body. An out of balance body

leads to illness, disease, pain, unhealthy

weight gain, mental illness, and so much

more.

While we may not think about this all the

time, it is pretty hard to keep a healthy

mindset when you do not feel well. Being

in pain, or sick, often lends itself to

crankiness and a foggy mind. It also can

cause a high level of distraction that makes

it impossible to clearly focus on anything

else.
3 It is time to acknowledge the changes in your life, for better, or for worse. Something tends

to happen when we decide to make a change, and go in a new direction. We align our lives

with the changes that we decide to make. For example, if you decide you want to lose

weight, you don't simply start going to the gym, you drink more water, you watch what you

eat, you change your habits, you make other changes that align with your decision.

DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE

THINK OF THE TOP IMPORTANT CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE

How did the change make you feel?

What are your most favorite memories of them?

Have you decided to make other changes because of this change?

Did the additional changes you made seem like natural additions?
4
DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE
5
DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE
6
DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE
7
DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE
8
DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE
9
DATE

Changes That Have


Shaped My Life
A JOURNAL WRITING EXERCISE
C H A P T E R

T W O
CHAPTER 2 - HABIT AND PATTERN TRACKING

10 It is going to require you to understand when

and why you picked up a cigarette in the first

place. You will need to start at the

beginning of the story in order to convince

your body, mind, and spirit that you do not

need cigarettes.

You would be surprised how many smokers

will tell you that their decision to start

smoking started with a simple thought, "I

need a cigarette". It wasn't peer pressure

because they saw other people doing it.

There are millions of people who have tried

a cigarette, with a smoking friend in middle

school, or high school, that never picked up

another cigarette again.

What makes these people, different from

people who tried a cigarette, and continued

to smoke afterward? They never had the

CHAPTER thought that they needed a cigarette, their

intention was set on simply trying one.

didn't matter to them if they were picking up


It

TWO a tree branch to smoke, the cool kids were

doing it. The cigarette was not the important

factor in the scenario. There is a huge

difference in having a reason to smoke, vs

simply smoking for the sake of saying you

Now that you have considered how are cool, because you tried a cigarette.

significantly one change,  affects the

trajectory of your life, let's take a deep The moment was just another notch on their

dive on this topic. The exercise you just scholastic belt of mischief, nothing more. It

completed, is an excellent way to make is amazing how intention completely

yourself aware of how your thoughts, changes a situation when you are on the

actions, and life path are connected at the outside looking in. How would you change

deepest level. your conversations with your preteens, or

teens about vaping based on the information

Isn't it amazing how one, simple, thought, above?

such as, "I want to lose weight", can lead

to a chain reaction of changed behaviors. Intention has everything to do with the

You don't simply lose weight, you change decisions that we make. Developing a deep

your entire lifestyle to accommodate the understanding of what your thoughts may

change that you want to see in your life. cost you in the long run, is a great motivator

to become more mindful. You would be

It is vitally important to get a great amazed how many people put their health at

understanding of this concept and how it risk over something trivial, such as being

relates to patterns of behavior in your life, overly emotional behind a break up.

as well as habits. If you have behavior that

you consider a "bad habit", the notion that Yes, a break up is painful, but how will

you are going to stop smoking has much something as drastic as "needing a cigarette"

deeper implications, than simply putting affect your health and well-being in the long

down cigarettes. run?


CHAPTER 2 - HABIT AND PATTERN TRACKING

11
Let's take a deeper dive. What is causing You would be surprised, how often, what we

the urge to smoke, vs finding a more pass off to be a bad habit, that you only take

healthy way to deal with stress? A part in when _______________________,

smoking habit can point to a more occurs, often, is at a very specific time, in a

troubling pattern of behavior in your life. very specific place, with very specific

people, things, or circumstances happening.

Smoking is often, just one of many chosen,

unhealthy methods of dealing with stress. Remember how we talked about the people

Take a moment to consider other risky who tried smoking as children, but didn't

behaviors you may be involved in, because think they needed cigarettes? They never

you smoke. Do you also drink? I don't picked up a cigarette again, because the

mean drinking socially every once in simple action of smoking one cigarette, gave

awhile. I mean drinking so often that your them the desired result they were looking

weekly trip to the grocery store includes for, looking, or seeming cool to other

the liquor aisle, and you know all the bars. children.

What would happen if you are not able to The same is true for you, deep down in your

get a drink, or a cigarette, or both every core, you know you don't need cigarettes, or

single day? Would everyone need to run alcohol, you need something that makes you

to duck and cover? It takes a certain feel better, even if it is just temporary. The

measure of bravery to admit that you have liquor and cigarettes are your tools for

formed an unhealthy pattern in your life, coping, because the desired result you are

no matter how progressive you are. looking for has not happened yet. What do

you really want? I can guarantee it has

Maybe this is not the time, or place for nothing to do with drinking, nor cigarettes.

you, to even have the state of mind to

confront such issues. Whatever your This is not discounting an addiction to

unhealthy habits, or patterns are, we are nicotine. This conversation is directed to

not here to judge you, only to help you to those who are fairly new to smoking. Those

better understand yourself, and help to you who are just beginning to form a habit.

find your "why".

Did you start drinking before, or after, you

started smoking? If your answer is after,

or beforehand, I am sure that you see the

correlation in the fact both habits are

connected, it doesn't matter which one

came first. This points to a pattern of using

substances in response to pain, stress, or

other problems. Rather than focusing on

the symptoms of the issue, drinking and

smoking, we are focusing on the core

issue. What is it that drinking and

smoking is helping you to avoid?

Are you taking a smoke break every hour

at work? If so, what is going on at work

when you need your smoke breaks?


Connect the Dots
What Habits Do You Want To Break?

Habit: Habit:

Habit: Habit:

In order to effectively start tackling your habits, you must find the reason you started

the habit. Can you remember the what, where, when, how, and why of how you came

to start the bad habit? What made you think that you needed the habit? How do you

feel (relief) after participating in this habit? What feelings, situations, or people does

your habit suppress? Do you have other similar habits that branch from this one?

Use the next few pages to write out what your habits are, and their origin in as much

detail as possible. You want to have a specific target to hit.


Connect the Dots
What Habits Do You Want To Break?

Habit: Habit:

Habit: Habit:
Connect the Dots
What Habits Do You Want To Break?

Habit: Habit:

Habit: Habit:
C H A P T E R

T H R E E
CHAPTER 3 - AFFIRMATIONS OF CHANGE

15 This can manifest in the form of disease,

frequent illness and ailments, anxiety,

nervousness, mental fatigue, depression,

negative outlooks, and more.

Everyone has met someone who has a

negative outlook on life, no matter what. The

sun is shining on a beautiful day, and they

are complaining about needing sunglasses,

because the sun is too bright. They wish

they could go inside, because it is too hot.

They are blessed with the purchase of a new

home, but they are focused on the little

details about the house that they don't like.

You come up with a solution to a problem,

and they come up with one thousand ways

that your solution won't work.

Unfortunately, until one gets tired of doing

the same thing, and receiving the same

CHAPTER results, they are unlikely to give a 100%

effort to any form of positive change in their

lives. In fact, you may find that some people

THREE enjoy themselves exactly the way they are.

You will never be able to change anyone, or

convince them, that they need to change.

The best thing you can do, is focus on

yourself, and focus on those that align with

We have now traveled the road from the direction you want to go in life.

changes, to thoughts, and on to habits. I

hope that the inner connectivity, of it all, is This brings us to our next topic, learning to

becoming apparent to you. In the last mind your own business for your own good.

exercise, you drilled down to the when, Instead of living from the outside in, live

where, how, and why of your bad habits. from the inside out. When you are focused

Your habits don't have to be as drastic as on yourself, all the noise of the world

smoking, or drinking. Replace the bad outside of you stops, so that you can truly

habits in the last chapter with being a focus on yourself, and your growth. You

workaholic, overeating, exercise, makeup, release yourself of judgement from others,

complaining, hobbies, anything that you do and self!

without boundaries, and balance is

harmful. Developing an understanding of your when,

what, where, how, and why allows you to

Anything that you are engaging in to avoid embrace honesty and authenticity within

hearing your deep, intimate thoughts, is a yourself. Your honesty and authenticity will

bad habit, even if it is something that change the way you look at the world. When

would otherwise be perfectly fine, and you grant yourself grace for what you don't

healthy. Neglecting yourself, and  your understand about yourself, you are that much

inner needs, is not healthy, and there is no more willing to extend the same grace to

reason one can give that will justify this others.

neglect. In fact, your body, mind, and

spirit is frequently letting you know that This does not mean become docile and

you are out of alignment. position yourself to be a carpet in life.


CHAPTER 3 - AFFIRMATIONS OF CHANGE

16
As you are coming into discovering what should continue to engage the person.

you want, and don't want in life, you will

find it easier to put your foot down, and At the end of the day, demanding healthy

stand up for yourself. This can have the relationships, and interactions is a necessity

effect of dumping a large container of ice for healthy growth, and development.

water on everyone around you. People who Affirming yourself, and demanding healthy

are accustomed to controlling and behavior from yourself, and others, is a fair

manipulating you, immediately will not and healthy position to take in life. No one

like this change. They will challenge it. should ever come before your well-being, if

you are unwell, you are no longer helpful to

The meaning of grace is not to accept the anyone else, to include yourself.

behavior of others without boundaries, or

limits. Grace is reserving goodwill for The idea of completely depleting yourself to

yourself, and others despite of if they the point that you "need" a vacation, each

deserve it, or not. Goodwill can be as year, is the lifestyle society has pushed to

simple as resisting the urge to respond with the forefront as normal. If you are stressed

a negative motive. in your everyday life, there is a pill for that.

As the physical manifestations of such a

This is easily done by taking the position lifestyle begin to arise, just turn on your TV,

of minding your own business. What do I there is always a list of medications

mean by minding your own business? available to relieve the symptoms of living

Does their behavior directly impact you? If an out of balance life. Society offers eternal

not, why did you insert yourself into the bandaids.

situation? Unless you are taking action to

prevent harm, or illegal wrong-doing, it is

none of your business.

If their behavior does affect you, now you

get to choose how you are going to

respond. Your measure of grace can be as

simple as recognizing people are

responding out of fear. While you don't

have to accept negative behavior, or

energy from other people, you can also be

very honest with them about the reason

you are ending the relationship, or

interaction.

Much, in the same way, you have been

honest with yourself during your growth

journey, recognizing what is no longer

good for you. If the person is at a stage of

growth in which they are ready to accept

that they are emitting negativity and fear,

this is a great juncture, in which to

continue a relationship in a healthy way.

If they are unwilling to accept their role, or

even begin to blame you for the situation,

you have a definitive answer on if you


Affirmation Writing
Exercise
Reflection and Realization

A journal allows you to freely express yourself without fear of disapproval, or criticism. This is often

why so many people prefer to keep a journal, it is healing to "get it out". This level of acceptance and

lack of judgement is something we rarely afford ourselves, much less other people. To begin the

journey to affirmation, we first have to recognize why we feel unworthy. We have accomplished much

of this work already when tracing back to the "why" of bad habits, as well as ignoring, or avoiding self.

Now we are going to turn the tables on those negative feelings, and emotions, and use them to create

positives.

Read the affirmation below, and it's analysis, to better understand how to turn negatives into positives.

Freedom is the ability to explore every possibility for my life and to choose to try new things, places,

and new people with the loving support of the Creator, the universe, and all that reside in my sacred

space.

Grace is allowing others to do the same without judgement.  Today, I choose the best possibilities that

bring me joy, peace, happiness, abundance, love, assertiveness, and a wise investment of my time,

energy, and resources.Today is a new day, full of brand new possibilities to love and enjoy. 

Today, I enjoy and love my present and my decisions reflect this. I am mindful and wise, strong and

powerful.  I am truth. I am unlimited. I embrace all the amazing opportunities, people, and places this

day brings to me. I am grateful and thankful for this wonderful day to be renewed in every area of my

life.

Let's take a look at the first statement. This statement declares freedom from the limitation of

possibilities, and also, carefully states, which opinions matter when it comes to living in freedom. The

next statement about grace is a statement of releasing others from any restrictions, or opinions you

have about their lives, they are free to live, and be who they want to be.

The next statement is self explanatory. It explains the qualities of possibilities and freedom, and how

the possibilities will make you feel. It also establishes that each day is a clean slate, where nothing is

predetermined, therefore allowing an atmosphere for newness to occur.

The next statement, powerfully states, that being in the present moment is something to love and

enjoy. Then the affirmation goes on to name the current state of being and mindset. Lastly, the

affirmation welcomes change with open arms, and ends with thankfulness and gratefulness.
Affirmation Writing
Exercise
Reflection and Realization

The affirmation above makes no mention of anything negative, every word of it is positive and

uplifting. It focuses on establishing the right mindset for any moment in the day. It focuses on the

areas that the writer would like to strengthen in their life in the most empowering way.

Now it is your turn. What did the previous exercises turn up as areas you need to work on? How can

you turn those negatives into powerful positives that you can encourage yourself with daily?
Affirmation Writing
Exercise
Reflection and Realization
Affirmation Writing
Exercise
Reflection and Realization
Affirmation Writing
Exercise
Reflection and Realization
Affirmation Writing
Exercise
Reflection and Realization
C H A P T E R

F O U R
CHAPTER 4 - FALLING OUT OF ALIGNMENT

23 Being busy allowed me an excuse to ignore

red flags when I saw them. Being busy

allowed me to avoid having conversations

that were needed. Being busy allowed me to

avoid people, places, and things that I didn't

want to deal with. But most of all, being

busy allowed me to avoid having honest

conversations with myself.

There is nothing like, constantly having

something to do, or think about, to get out of

doing anything you don't want to do. Being

busy is one of the most comfortable plateaus

for people, because they can appear to be

making progress, without actually putting in

100% effort. Being busy allows people to

focus on trivial details, rather than the meat

of the work ahead, and a viable plan to get it

done.

CHAPTER The plan to stall with an ultra busy schedule

does

make
not

sense,
allow

nor
for

a
efficiency,

real plan for


goals

forward
that

FOUR progress. The light bulbs are going off for

some of you right now, when you realize

why your "one and done ideas" have been

rejected time, and time again, by people who

seem to be on a long road to nowhere. Some


This journey to evolution is getting of you are frustrated because you are part of

exciting now. As you stop identifying someone's cover story to avoid dealing with

with old mindsets, habits, places, and life, and self.

people you may notice a few relationships

take a sudden turn that you did not It is essential to know when a season has

necessarily see coming. Within these ended, and when a relationship, person,

relationships, places, and things that place, or thing is no longer serving you to

unravel in your life, you will get the your highest good. This is not a statement of

opportunity to identify that you have blind arrogance, it is a statement of necessity. You

spots in life, and truth! have already seen the effect of living an

unbalanced life. Living a balanced life

You will find yourself pretty quickly requires intention.

shedding layers of pretense, and those who

comfortably pretended with you. One of Keeping this in mind about yourself, and

the first places that fell into shambles others, allows for you to create the building

during this transition was anywhere I was blocks of grace. We have all seen and

always "busy". Being busy is nothing experienced the moment when a surprising

more than an excuse not to deal with things resignation is submitted by one of the most

in a healthy manner, that need to be successful people in their industry, often at

the height of success.


confronted.

People have built world renown companies,


Being busy kept me from evaluating
while unhappy the entire time that they did
exactly where I was in life, and why I was
it. They simply could not bear it anymore.
there.
CHAPTER 4 - FALLING OUT OF ALIGNMENT

24
Sometimes, this does not make for a great Rather than twiddle my thumbs, I took

experience for the people who worked for initiative to pursue my ideas for a wellness

them, or with them. At the very least, it company, that I ignored because I made the

makes for an awkward flow of energy from majority of my money, and my name in tech.

the leader. Would you want to work for I lived a very comfortable life in a two

someone who isn't doing what they love? income family, both of us working in

technology.

How much is giving up your dreams, and

the life you really want to live worth to After months on leave, the most important

you? $1 billion? $10 billion? While this thing to me became leaping out of bed every

may seem ludicrous, people name their morning, excited about what each new day

prices everyday. For example one may say, held. I couldn't bear to go back and be in

I am in this marriage that is not violent, or business part-time, so I resigned the day I

harmful, but doesn't light my soul, for the was supposed to return to work! At the end

sake of the children. I wanted to make a of the day, we are all human, and I want to

clear distinction that abuse is never okay, remind you that the person you cannot stand

and there is no reason for staying in a at your job, is more than likely one of the

relationship like that. most unhappy souls, doing all the things that

they don't really want to do, because they are

I am still in this partnership doing "good at it", or it makes a lot of money.

everything that I don't like doing, because I

put too many years into it to simply walk When you take all of the emotion out of

away empty handed. I am still working for the scenario, we all would behave the

this company because I am 5 years away same way! Give and accept grace freely and

from retirement. I have earned my tenderly!

retirement benefits, and I will spend every

last second of those 5 years, to ensure that

I get every penny of what I deserve. I am

staying for what I have earned, or feel I

deserve!

I can't quit my job, I make too much

money, and I have to pay off all these

loans, I have too many bills. What job can

I get that pays me this well by tomorrow?

What am I supposed to do, quit, file for

bankruptcy, and give all the stuff back?

This last statement, in particular, resonates

with me, because this is exactly my current

path. If we can't sell our second home we

are giving it back to the bank. We are

currently shedding all the stuff we thought

we wanted, or needed to be fulfilled.

Thankfully, our home is under contract and

we will be closing soon.

I went on leave at the beginning of 2019,

because of a medical emergency with a

family member we were caring for.


Release and Grace
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

Falling out of alignment with people, places, and things can be very sudden and challenging, especially

when you have invested years, time, energy, resources, heart, and soul into them. It is important to

remember, that while the ties feel strong when you are living in bondage, one single day of living free,

and most of all feeling free, is life-changing!

With that said, the people, places, and things that you fall out of alignment with are not necessarily bad.

With maturity comes the understanding that you can't control anyone, and you cannot force people to

grow, nor can you force them to want a better experience for their lives. Sometimes, you just have to

live and let live. Holding space for other people eliminates room for a toxic environment to be created.

While they may not agree with your decision to move on, you are not obligated to entertain their

negative energy.

Where are the parallels that you can easily use in your own life that may explain the behavior you are

observing from others? Is that person really mean, or are they hurt? Are they really controlling, or are

they dealing with self-esteem issues? Are they really ignoring you, or are they just bored? Looking at

our own behavior can teach us a lot about other people, and why they do the things that they do.

Though we are all individually different, there are some parallels of behavior that tend to be the same

across the board.

How often have you passed on a great opportunity simply because your heart wasn't in it? For example,

there was a time that I had a chance to go overseas and rub shoulders with entrepreneurs, and other

important people from all over the globe. This opportunity came under something that I wasn't

passionate about anymore. While it was a great opportunity for me to be seen and heard, and make great

connections, it would have been under the guise of an occupation I no longer wanted to engage in. If

the same opportunity happened today, I would do everything in my power to take advantage of that

opportunity, because now I am living my dream. I would be introducing myself and my company that I

love, I would be authentic and comfortable to project the me that I want people to know!

When was the last time you came down on someone for not "appreciating" an opportunity that you

felt would be perfect for them? How would you feel if someone did the same to you without first

asking if you were interested? Grace is about so much more than simply graciously letting relationships

go, it is about living in a way that allows people to feel they have the freedom to be themselves, and

make their own decisions without your judgement. Grant the same permission that you have given

yourself to others. So often "wrong doing" is focused on when it comes to conversations about grace.

Grace is a daily skill that we should use not only for ourselves, but others too. There is a reason grace

and understanding is so often coupled together in speech. I understand, and therefore, I am extending

you grace.
Release and Grace
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

What are the things, places, and people that you can think of, that may no longer fit with who you are at

your core? You know, those people, places, and things you feel misaligned with. The places where

you no longer feel like you fit in. The awkward moment when you realize you no longer have anything

to talk about with certain people. Those moments when you no longer feel at peace with certain people,

because of how they respond to situations, people, and places. First think of affirming ways that you

can set boundaries, so that you can continue the relationship. Then think of affirming ways that you can

end relationships with these people, places, and things with grace for yourself, and grace for others too.

Then decide which possibility best fits your situation.


Release and Grace
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
Release and Grace
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
Release and Grace
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
Release and Grace
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
C H A P T E R

F I V E
CHAPTER 5 - ALIGNING WITH NEW POSSIBILITIES

31 hold on intensifies all the more, if you feel

no resolution has been reached in the

situation. You second guess the situation,

and reanalyze it over, and over again. You

just want things to change back the way they

were, but before that can happen, some type

of resolution, an apology, or something must

happen to justify continuing the relationship.

That something is a boundary. A boundary

is a healthy way of dealing with conflict. A

boundary addresses the exact issue head-on

and voices any concerns about behavior, or

incidents that do not make you comfortable,

or does not make someone else comfortable.

A boundary can only be formed and

accepted in an environment where truth,

transparency, and honesty exists.

An example of a boundary includes, I am not

CHAPTER available

family
on

time,
the

I
weekends.

cannot

meeting, or whatever you would like me to


attend
Weekends

your
are

event,

FIVE attend without advanced

planning. I can be flexible if there is nothing

going on with my family at that time.


notice, and

Most

people respect healthy boundaries without

When you hold a space of positive any issues, however, when you are in a

enthusiasm for what no longer works for controlling, or unhealthy relationship,

you, this does not mean that it has to be boundaries tend to anger other people.

done overnight, or without feelings

attached. It is okay to feel. Feeling lonely, In the previous exercise you created healthy

sad, upset, angry, and other emotions that boundaries to ensure healthy relationships,

let us know we are human beings is but what happens when your boundaries

normal. Let's be honest, it doesn't feel aren't respected, or you overstep the

good when we feel like we are losing boundaries of others? These matters can

something. Isn't it funny how we hold on become complicated very quickly, and

to things that we have outgrown, letting go become very emotional. This is especially

is a process! true when one doesn't have a healthy

relationship with self.

We keep special toys, shoes, and outfits

that we know we likely will never wear This is where society often trips everyone

again. If we become that attached to the up. Instead of looking inward for the

little things, imagine how hard it is to let solution to overstepped boundaries, we are

go of a whole person, or place. Just like taught to respond in fear. "OMG, that friend

that outfit that we can no longer wear, we you have had for years suddenly disagrees

try a million different things to figure out with you?? Friends never, ever, disagree

how to make people, things, and places fit with each other. They are supposed to be on

again! the same page at all times, and they should

be a carbon copy of you." The truth is,

When you mix these instincts with having people who disagree with you, and

negative memories, the feeling you need to challenge you in healthy ways is very
CHAPTER 5 - ALIGNING WITH NEW POSSIBILITIES

32
important for your growth and Your brain’s main function is now stripped

development. down to Maslow’s basic survival needs, air,

water, sleep, safety, food, clothing, and

It teaches you, to accept opinions that shelter, until the perceived danger has

differ from your own. It also teaches you, passed.

that you don't know everything, and where

you immerse yourself in a variety of These are the very limited options that we

different opinions, is where you will learn give ourselves every single time we respond

the most. This is not to say everybody's in fear to disappointment, or stress.  In this

opinion is correct, but the way people state of mind, your imagination runs wild

respond to you, and the things you do, and with scenarios of what could go wrong, and

say, gives you quite a bit of insight about how you should prepare.

them, and yourself as well.

We have all met people who seem to have a

Society has put a toxic spin on differing problem for every solution. Somehow,

opinions. People who don't see it the same something will go wrong, so they need to be

way that you do, are some how against prepared, and keep the worst case scenario at

you. They are trying to harm you. the front of their mind.  The fight or flight

Therefore, we are taught we have to "prove response, is only meant to stay active for

we are right". about an hour, to allow you the hormones

you need to get to safety, and survive. 

You must become fearful and defensive, vs

asking more questions and having Unfortunately, there are people who live in

conversations, so that you can better the fight, or flight mode. This takes a great

understand the when, what, why, where, toll on your body, mind, and spirit. The long

and how behind their responses, or actions. term effect of the chemical reactions caused

Instead, we are taught the best thing to do by survival mode on your body, often leads

is to immediately begin jumping to to disease, or health problems.

conclusions. The current state of our

political system strongly reflects this In order to align with new possibilities, or

sentiment and thought process. even be able to perceive that they exist, you

need to be able to use the logical and

However, when we eliminate fear from our creative part of your brain. Under duress you

responses, we stand in our true power! Our are physically unable to! Take a close look

society has transformed the reaction of fear at the overall behavior of the masses in

into a monster that eats our dreams, and America and you can see, very clearly, there

hopes alive. There are times when fear is are millions of people living in survival

appropriate, for example, someone is mode, day in, and day out.

harming you, you are being threatened, and

you don't feel safe. Fear triggers your fight You are always thinking about the next bill,

or flight response, as well as a number of the next meal, the next plan, and everything

chemical responses, that allows a mother you need to do to get through the day, or

the strength to lift a car to save her child, week.  There is no room to be spontaneous,

and more. the only thing that matters is taking care of

business. Relaxing, and most of all,

The question to ask yourself is, what practicing balance, takes a back seat to

happens to all the energy and chemicals surviving.

when they are created unnecessarily.

Essentially, your brain reverts back to an This is one of the many consequences of

unevolved state known as "survival mode". living out of alignment.


CHAPTER 5 - ALIGNING WITH NEW POSSIBILITIES

33
Fear is one of the biggest obstacles mind, Unforgiveness is one of the biggest obstacles

body, and spirit that you will defeat. This to overcome when aligning with

also highlights the importance of filtering possibilities. I will not say that the work is

what thoughts, feelings, and emotions you easy, or even simple, it can take hard work

allow to linger. People don't begin living in to remove all the layers, and get to the core

survival mode overnight, it is a process of of the issues that you have with people, or

being unable to release trauma,  negativity, self.

and most often unforgiveness.

Forgiving is one of the pinnacle parts of

If you have anyone in your life that you inner work, because not only do you need to

have not forgiven, the next time you see forgive others, you need to forgive yourself

them, or think about them, I want you to as well. To be able to forgive means that you

pay close attention to what your body does. are living in your highest level of freedom,

In fact, as you thought about that person, possibilities, and overall wholeness.

or people, just now, did you notice that

your heart started beating a little faster,

your breathing became heavier, and your

body became tense? Relax your shoulders,

loosen your jaw, and breathe deeply.

Not many people draw the correlation

between unforgiveness and the fight, or

flight response. They boil in bitterness, the

entire holiday season, every year, as they

see family, old friends, and enemies that

trigger memories of anger, turmoil, and

even feuds. As we approach what is, for

many people, the most unhappy time of the

year, anxiety for many has already begun.

By the time the new year begins they have

all kinds of physical and mental symptoms.

So what is the solution to this issue?

Honesty and truth. When you are honest

with yourself, you can begin to remove the

layers of what caused you to live in

unforgiveness. Honesty and truth allows

you to get to the bottom of why you are

upset, and opens your mind to resolution.

It is never too late to have a conversation,

and try to make peace. Some people will

never admit that they are wrong to you,

and that is okay. Dedicating yourself to

breaking the cycle of toxic behavior,

feelings, and emotions will render you free

when you release the person, people, and

situations. Take your energy back from the

situation.
Forgiven and Free
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

Forgiving yourself and others creates a major shift of energy in your life. Have you noticed a pattern of

the same type of people, that cause the same type of issues in your life? Have you noticed you tend to

end up in the same types of unpleasant situations over and over again, and you feel like you are

constantly frustrated? Are you struggling with mistakes that you have made in your past, and you feel

like you are being haunted by the issues that you caused for yourself, or other people? It is time to let

these things go so you can open yourself up to new and better experiences. It is time to write

affirmations that take the power away from the negativity being generated by unforgiveness. Below

you will find a template to help empower you.

I forgive myself for being unforgiving to myself, and others, I acknowledge the role I played in these

situations, and moving forward I will: (state your positive affirmations about situations you are releasing)

I apologize to myself for not allowing myself the space, the time, and the mindset to heal properly, I vow to

treat myself kindly, and be patient with myself by doing:


Forgiven and Free
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

I apologize to others for withholding grace and understanding (state positive affirmations regarding others

and keeping your peace and energy) Example: I grant others freedom from my judgement and opinions, I

respect their God-given freewill to choose their life path, even if I don't agree with their choices.
Forgiven and Free
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

I am thankful for every person, place, and situation that has put me into the position to learn how to forgive,

and how to give myself, and others grace. This experience has taught me:

Do not focus on anything negative, this is the time to turn any negatives into positives, and what you

want to see occur in your life!


Forgiven and Free
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

I am free to enjoy (affirmations): Example: I am free to enjoy quality decisions that increase my peace,

happiness, well-being, love, beautiful relationships, and grace for myself and others.

Do not focus on anything negative, this is the time to turn any negatives into positives, and what you

want to see occur in your life!


Forgiven and Free
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
C H A P T E R

S I X
CHAPTER 6 - LIVING IN ABUNDANCE

40 In the last chapter we focused on what you

no longer want, or need in your life. How do

you move into new opportunities, people,

places, and things without ending up in

situations that you don't want again?

This is where setting boundaries is

important. Boundaries are not put in place

with a "keep out" demeanor, the purpose of

boundaries is to create a healthy

environment for you, that feels safe, and

secure, an environment that allows you to

have peace, and be yourself without fear.

The lack of boundaries are how many of us

end up in situations that we regret.

Boundaries are different for everyone, but

required boundaries should include that you

feel safe, you feel supported in being

yourself, honesty and truth are abundant, and

CHAPTER you feel respected and honored for who you

are, not what you can do for other people.

Lastly, one of the most important boundaries

SIX is that you are receiving, just as much as you

give. Not that you should be keeping count,

but you certainly should not notice an

imbalance either.

The last step of this process is living in Giving without end, or limit, will drain you

abundance. There will come a time in to the point that you have to pull from your

which it seems like everything is going energy reserves to sustain yourself. If you

right. Everything is aligning. Every time are at the point of sucking your own soul

you turn around it will feel like a new dry, who wins at the end of the day? A

blessing is there. As you continue to align healthy relationship embodies giving and

with your purpose, you will notice that receiving.

amazing things, places, and people

continue to manifest for you. Remaining A relationship is a sacred agreement to

grounded, thankful, and grateful is celebrate and embrace each other as you

imperative. This keeps you in the magic embark on a journey of growth together.

zone of receiving and feeling whole. This cannot be accomplished without

honesty, love, respect, and truth. It is very

Life is often filled to the rim with important that you understand the concept of

wonderful moments that you adore. You what a relationship is, and you ensure that

have remained faithful to the process, you are entering a relationship with others

therefore, you have earned the reward of who have the same understanding that you

seeing, and experiencing the world in love! do.

Now it is time to shift into this focus with When we were little kids we made oaths to

intention. Intention means that you have each other all the time, best friends for life,

specific criteria for the experiences that why do we lose this trait of sincerity in

you would like to have going forward. friendship as adults?


CHAPTER 6 - LIVING IN ABUNDANCE

41
If you care deeply for your friends, if you the races of fulfilling your soul desires, or

deeply appreciate your friends, you should dreams.

express it, not hold it in, or hold it back.

Aligning with new possibilities, does not Being diligent in living from the inside out is

manifest by hiding what we really want in another wonderful way to manifest your

life. It happens by us being open, and dreams, and align with what is already out

honest, and baring our souls to ourselves, there waiting for you. When you are

and others in our sacred space. The ability authentic with your voice, your dreams, your

to celebrate the special moments together actions, and your work, it shows.

is what counts the most!

The positive energy that you are pouring into

We see people all the time on the news everything you do, makes others want to be

who are surrounded by "everything", but part of it. We are inherently drawn to others

feel like they have nothing because a when we can see they are sincere, and

money bag won't hug you back. Luxurious authentically love what they are doing.

items won't respond back with joy to your

stories, nor will they ask you how your day The salesperson that you buy from, is not the

went. We all laugh about fictional one who is technical and the know it all, of

characters like Ebenezer Scrooge, but how every fact. The best salesperson is the one

many of us have become the very thing we who has a compelling personal story, or

think is ridiculous? connection to the product they are selling.

You can tell that they love the product they

The more sincere and honest you can be are selling, and they love their job. You

with yourself about what really lights your reward their passion by giving them the sale.

soul, and makes you happy, the easier it

will be to manifest. There are a few things Think of the product as your existence, and

you shouldn't do when thinking of what your job is to sell your life to yourself. Your

you want. product is yours to create. To live in

abundance and wholeness, is to fully

Don't add a time frame to when you want discover your value. I don't mean your

your manifestation to appear, and don't sit monetary value, your value as a spouse,

and wait for it to happen. Active waiting is parent, woman, or man, I mean the value in

so important to the process. As much as the fact, that you merely exist today.

people would like it to happen, no one is

going to come to your door, and drop $1 That out of the millions of possibilities for

million in your lap, nor are they going to life the day you were conceived, you were

pull up with the love of your life. the one to grasp the moment. Out of the

millions of failed pregnancies, yours was the

You have to be proactive in pursuing what one to become successful. Out of the many

you want in life. This does not mean sit stillbirth deliveries you were born alive and

and plan out every second of how you are well. Don't you realize what a miracle you

going to get what you want, but it means to are? The fact that you are here on this planet

start moving with what you have. Have in this time, you are a miracle.

faith and trust the resources that you have

are enough. Trust that you are enough. The hustle and bustle of life can leave you

feeling like you have become lost in the

You never know how far a little inspiration shuffle. Today's society will leave you

can take you in the long run. All it takes is feeling like money, accomplishments,

the right place, or time, and you are off to  milestones, looking a certain way, and

achieving certain results is all that matters.


CHAPTER 6 - LIVING IN ABUNDANCE

42
Today, I want to remind you that you Now allow someone else to light up your

matter! No matter who you are, where you world today. Love is infinite and it is found

come from, or how you look, because you in so many little moments through out the

merely exist, you are valuable, and you are day. Don't overlook them! Don't let this

worthy of all the best that life has to offer world we live in cause you to forget.

you.

Your task for today and everyday, is to go

This entire planet, full of beauty and out and remind someone else of who they

wonder, is here for you to enjoy and really are, who they really can be if they

explore. The sun is shining and lighting up would simply trust themselves, and do the

your world so that you can see all the work!

brilliance that surrounds you, and feel the

warmth of love that this wonderful

creation, our universe, which you are part

of, holds in infinite supply. So breathe

deep today, close your eyes, and allow that

infinite love to find you where ever you

are.

Smile, knowing that the things that really

matter in this world, are always yours to

have anytime you choose to immerse

yourself in the essence of your value, and

worthiness. You are love to someone in

this world. It doesn't matter if it is the same

people that you see and smile at each day

on your way to work. Your pet who is sad

to see you go, but bursting with joy when

you come home. Your children, your

family, your friends, the people who

admire you that don't even know your

name, they love your presence when you

walk into the room, and they smile and

wave.

You are love, you are the light in

someone's world, that makes you worthy

of all the love, joy, happiness, and peace

that you can possibly handle. You being

yourself is enough for someone in this

world. Why would you want to be anyone

else?

You are a spark that brightens someone's

day. Your smile matters, your laugh

matters, your interest, your hobbies, your

words, your touch, your kiss, your

happiness, you light up someone's world

simply by being yourself.


New Possibilities
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization

What would you enthusiastically do with all of your time, right now, if you were granted the wish that

you could have everything you have ever wanted in life? Who would you be with? Where would you

be? What would you be doing for a living? How would you look (within reason)? What would be your

favorite hobby? What would you do every morning when you woke up? What about your life would

make you the happiest? What would be your favorite moments? Don't answer these questions with

what you think the answers would be 10 years down the road from now, answer as if it were going to

happen in the present moment. Answer with those fleeting, but real thoughts that you feel in your

soul about your life goals and dreams!


New Possibilities
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
New Possibilities
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
New Possibilities
Writing Exercise
Reflection and Realization
THANK YOU FOR READING MY BOOK!

47
Thank you so much for allowing me to take part in your journey to become whole!

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