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A Living Dead Christmas Poem
By Rusty Fischer, author of Zombies Don’t Cry
Copyright © 2010 by Rusty Fischer All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. All of the names, characters, places and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
Cover credit: The Image Designs
The zombies were ready For the first reindeer hoof As it padded and pawed On the house’s pitched roof.
They grumbled and groused And gurgled and drooled; They’d waited so long They wouldn’t be fooled!
They weren’t mad at Santa, Not hardly, no way. In fact he’d be President, If the zombies had their way.
No, the zombies were hungry For stuff other than brains; They wanted to play With stuffed dolls and toy trains!
Though their hearts were quite empty And their souls long past dead; They still got excited For the green and the red!
Their lives were so boring Their mealtimes mundane. They looked forward to playtime After another serving of… brain.
It got boring gnawing on The neighbor’s fat head; When they’d rather be playing With Big Wheels instead!
They’d hatched their plan While watching the Grinch! “We’ll capture Santa,” one burped. “It’ll be a cinch!”
And now the fireplace rumbled As soot fell to the floor And boots did appear Where there were none before!
The zombies were hiding Behind the Christmas tree Their rotted teeth smiling Green faces covered in glee.
When the fat man stepped out The zombies did roar. Oh, what a playtime
They all had in store!
But Santa grew frightened As mortals they will And ran to throw open The nearest windowsill.
The zombies they trampled The zombies they ran And quickly surrounded The jolly fat man.
They did try to reason With good Old St. Nick. But nothing they grunted Did quite do the trick.
The window it opened And before he could run
The zombies dragged Santa Back for more fun.
He tasted quite fleshy That jolly old man; The zombies just quite Couldn’t stick to their plan.
It wasn’t that Santa They wanted to frag; It was really quite simple: They wanted his bag!
And now they sit scattered All over the floor The toys and the dolls And oh so much more.
For it’s Christmas morning
And the zombies all smile As they play with their toys In the best zombie style.
And no zombie is smiling More than Santa himself Who is having a ball As a living dead elf!
About this Poem
“Oh Tanenbrain” first appeared in The Undead That Saved Christmas, a charity zombie/Christmas themed anthology, edited and compiled by Lyle Perez-Tinics. Net Proceeds from this book will buy Christmas presents for foster kids at Hugs Foster Family Agency. Buy it here:
… and make someone’s Christmas a little more special!
About the Author: Rusty Fischer
Rusty Fischer is a professional freelance writer who lives in sunny Florida with his beautiful wife, Martha. They enjoy riding bikes, long, leisurely walks on the beach, romantic dinners and zombie movies; lots and lots of zombie movies! (Well, Rusty does, anyway!) Rusty’s new book, Zombies Don’t Cry, will be available from Medallion Press in May of 2011. In the meantime, check out www.medallionpress.com/blurbs/zombie_cry.html for updates and blurbs as the publication date nears.