to the

--neagam
Personality Styles
ana Where You Fit
JEROM WAGNER, PH.D.
Forewords by Helen Palmer and Thomas Condon
WHAT TE A YO �
The Ennearam is a diagam that represents nine basic types of human personal­
ity and the relationships between them. Each of these types�r styles-rlates
to a point on lhe diagram. and is summed up in a singl word. They are:
Good
Lovillg
cjJ eclilie
Origillal
Wise
Loyal
loyul
PowerLlI
Peaceful
Probing exercis s will h Ip you connect your 0\ n personalilY 10 one of Ihese
slyl s. Then, each chapler describes one slyle in delail. covering such issue a:
• Posili,e and negali,e Irails.
• ore ,alues. ideas. and assumptions lhat shape your view of the world ..
• How and \ hy you move toward a different personalily sl) Ie when you're under
slress-and when you're relaxed and feeling in conlrol.
• Negalive and posilive changes you may make under Slress.
• Negalive and positive changes you may make when you're feeling in conlrol.
The insights you gain by underslanding each personality I) pe and how it relales
lo Ihe olhers will pUI you in louch wilh facels of your inner self Ihal you've
repressed. You'll lear why you've repressed lhem, the painful results of lhal
repression, and how 10 slop lhe repression and gi'e lhem full expre sion.
Wilh Ihis knowledge. you can allow yourself lo develop all aspecls of your being.
and live a fuller, richer, more alisfying and effeclive life.
9
BG - PSYCHOLOGY
ISBN 1·56731·728·6
The Enneagram, a nine-pointed figure set inside
a circle, is a system for describing the basic
types of human personality. It could be com­
pared to the spectrum or colors; each person
contains all the colors, but one hue dominates.
Despite its uncertain origin, the Enneagram
generally agrees with modern theories or psy­
chology. Each or the nine personality styles it
describes relates to a point on the Enneagram.
Each point has a one-word name Oisted on the
back of this jacket) and each is associated with
a set of core values that shapes its attitudes,
beliers, and perceptions or the world.
But when we meet wilh indifference, criticism,
or misunderstanding, we develop a "public
self," a protective shell around our lrue core val­
ues. We attempt to appease our critics (internal
and exteral); instead of expressing our real
selves, we try to impress others. The result is
our core values get distOtted into ways we think
we "should" be.
The exercises in the Introduction to this book
and the descriptions or the nine styles in the
chapters that rollow enable you to refect on
your experience, and connect your own person­
ality to one or the nine. They'U help you
understand the diferences between your true
self, your core values, and the distorted "public
personality" you've developed ror protection.
continued on back flp
conind from fron }ap
You'll also lear how you change under stress,
moving toward the negative or positive features
of another style.
The more we understand the Enneagram, the
more we can understand our own lrue natures,
the nature of others, and how we can relate to
them in the most satisfying and successful way.
JEROME WAGNEH, 1'11.1)., is a clinical psycholo­
gist and psychotherapist in private practice and
at the Counseling Center of Loyola University,
Chicago. One of the original students of the
Enneagram in the early 1970 (his dotoral dis­
sertation was among the first formal research
projects involving the Enneagram), he has
taught graduate courses in the Enneagam for
over fifteen years at Loyola's Institute of Pastoral
Studies, where he now offers an Enneagram
Training and Certification program. He is also
the author of T Ennagram an the Myers­
Briggs: Two Windows on the Self and Group
E nneagram Styles.
Fine Communications
322 Eighth Avenue
New York, NY l00 J
A
iltroduction
to the
Eileagam
Personality Styles
and Where You Fit In
JEROME WAGNER, PH.D.
MJF BOOKS
NEW YORK
Published by MJF Books
Fine Communications
322 Eighth Avenue
New York. N 10001
An Introduction to the Enneagratn: Personali(l Styles and Where YOI F In
LC Control �umher 2004118030
ISBX 1-56731728-0
Copyright © 1996 by Jerome P. Wagner. Ph.D.
This special edition is published by MJF Books in arrangement with Metamorphous Press.
This book was previously published under the title of The Enneagram Spectn o/Personal S(lles.
All rights reserved. to part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means.
electronic or mechaical, inc.luding photocopy. recordinl, (lr any information storagt' and retrieval system,
without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Maufactured in the Gniled States of America on acid-free paper
MJF Books and the 1!JF colophon are trademarks of Fine Creative Media. Inc.
QM to U 8 7 ( U 4 3 2 1
Table of Contents
Foreword ÆÆwÆÆÆÆÆÆwwwwÆ.wwwwÆÆÆÆÆÆwÆwwwww.wwwwwwwæøwÆÆwwÆÆÆwÆÆwÆ.wwwww.w.ÆÆÆÆwÆÆÆwÆ v
Introduction ..........ÆÆÆÆw.Æw...............Æ.Æw..Æ...........ÆwæwÆ.ÆÆ.ÆÆ...... 1
Style 1 wwwwwÆwwÆÆÆwÆwwwwÆÆæwwæwwwwwÆÆwÆÆwÆwwwwwwwwwÆæwwÆÆwwÆÆÆwÆwwÆwwÆwwÆwwÆÆÆÆÆwÆÆÆ 39
The Good Person
Style 2 ............................................................................. 49
The Loving Person
Style 3 ............................................................................. 59
The Effective Person
Style 4 ............................................................................. 69
The Original Person
Style 5 ............................................................................. 79
The Wise Person
Style 6 w..............ÆwwÆÆ.wÆ........Æ.ÆwÆÆÆÆÆÆ............wÆ.w.ÆwÆÆÆw............. 89
The Loyal Person
Style 7 ............................................................................. 99
The Joyful Person
Style 8 wÆwwwwwwwwwÆÆwÆÆÆwÆÆÆwÆwwwwwwwÆwwÆwÆÆÆÆwÆwwæwwæwwÆwÆÆwÆwwwÆÆÆwwÆÆÆæwwwwwwww 109
The Powerful Person
Style 9 ............................................................................ 119
The Peaceful Person
Bibliography wÆ....Æ..ÆÆ.ÆÆ.ÆÆÆw..........w.wÆwwÆ.ÆÆ..w..............Æ...ÆÆw 129
Foreword
by Helen Palmer
I frst met Dr. Wagner through a microflm of his dissertation
over twenty years agoan academic teatent of te Enneagram
material that has recently attracted a wide interational audi­
ece. Since then, we've conferred, argued, agreed, and challenged
each other's thinking, all of which has been immensely satisfy­
ing. Even when you don't see eye to eye with Jerry, his clarity
always adds an interesting angle to the debate.
This workbook is his piece of te Enneagram magic that draws
those who seek something more than Freud's agenda of good
love ad work as te apex of wel-big. It's a raly go guide
and I'm deligted to recommend it to both new and longterm
students who will beneft fom his way of bringing te types to
life.
Helen Palmer
Teacher and author of Te Enneagam,
Te Enneagam In Love And Work,
Te Pocket Enneagam
Foreword
by Thomas Condon
Most introductons to the Enneagram reduce it to a collection of
types, but this book takes just the right tone. It ofers a dynamc
version of the system that is rooted in common sense and per­
sonal experience.
The writing is distilled and precise, and Wagner's descriptions
of personality styles reflect his own vocabulary and vision. Deep
mastery of the Enneagram is hard-won and evident in the qual­
ity of insight presented here; the author has decades of experi­
ence and it shows.
I especially like the book's exercises. Simple yet profound, they
point directly to the Enneagram's best purpose-unveiling our
inner map of reality. Readers will find surprising new ways to
apply the Enneagram both personally and professionally as well
as a direct path to their personal depths. For these and many
other reasons, this book is a pleasure to recommend.
Thomas Condon
Author of Te Everday Enneagam,
Te Enneagam Movie & Video Guide
1
Introduction
It is always fascinating and mutually confirming when theo­
ries and descriptions of personality from various sources of pe­
renial wisdom resonate with contemporary psychological sys­
tems of personality. Such is the case with the Enneagram theory
of te human person with its manifestations in nine personality
styles.
Te Enneagram is a nine-pointed figure in a circular setting
that is used to display nine personality styles. (I Greek, Enea
means nine and grama means point.)
This array has been compared to a wheel of colors. As you
shine white light into a prism, it fans out into a spectrum of the
basic colors. According to this metaphor, every person contains
all the hues of the spectrum although one color particularly
stands out or characterizes each individual. From a spiritual point
of view, this metaphor says that Divinity descends and shows
itself through nine earthly manifestations; from a philosophical
point of view, it says that Being is disclosed through nine essen­
tial characteristics; from a psychological viewpoint, it states that
human nature is expressed in nine natural fundamental ways.
The personality paradigms or patters that are arranged in
this circumplex model represent, depending on which metaphor
you select, either nine manifestations of the Divine, or nine quali­
ties of Being, or nine phenomenological world views and per­
spectives. From this latter point of view, these underlying fun­
damental schemas or maps are root organizing assumptions or
2 THE ENNEAGRAM
core beliefs which influence and even determine our perceptons,
thoughts, values, feeligs, and behaviors. These paradigms are
at the heart of how we think and feel about ourselves and other
people and tey gover the kinds of interactions with others we
allow ourselves to think about and to have. These styles, then,
are diferent ways of being in the world; diferent ways of exe­
riencing, perceiving, understanding, evaluating, and respond­
ing to ourselves, others, and reality.
Traditional schools of wisdom often use a circle as a symbol
of unity, completeness and fullness. So it is not surprising that a
circular figure is used to describe the full range of human ex­
pression. Interestingly, moder psychology through complex
statistical factor analysis has found that circumplex models are
the most apt means for graphically plotting personality charac­
teristics.
Although the origins of the Enneagram are disputed (some
speculate its roots lie in antiquity; some trace its lineage to te
middle ages; still others allege it is a modem discovery) and the
exct transmission of the Enneagram symbol remains murky,
what is clear is that the laws and descriptions of the human es­
sence and personality as seen through the lens of the Enneagram
have been recognized in some fashion across centuries as well
as across races, cultures, age spans, and genders. There does ap­
pear to be something universal in the nature and functioning of
the human person that is being exressed through this system.
Since it has become better known in the last twenty years,
the Enneagram has become popular and is being validated i
such varying cultures as Japan, India, Africa, Europe, North and
South America. Today it is being used in a variety of settings
from growth centers and therapy rooms to classrooms and busi­
ness boardrooms with a variety of purposes from personal, psy­
chological, and spiritual growth to couple interactions, team­
building, and management efectiveness.
The Enneagram was originally transmitted through oral tra­
dition and is probably best leared through hearing about it and
interacting with others. Only in the last few years has the
Eneagram been transcribed into written form for wider publi­
cation. This Introduction with its workbook and exrcises is in-
Intoducton 3
tended to be a bridge between the oral and written traditions. It
can be used by workshop presenters, therapists, and consult­
ants as a teaching aid for introducing the Enneagram to their
clients. It can also stand on its own as a brief written primer for
the Enneagram.
The exrcises and descriptions that follow are designed to
introduce you to the general personality theory that grounds
the Enneagram and to familiarize you with the nine hues that
make up its spectrum of personality styles. Hopefully this com­
bination of exeriential reflection and presentation of theory will
help you locate, understand, and appreciate your own particu­
lar style.
This primer presumes no prior knowledge of te Enneagram.
Complete the exrcises in the Introduction, compare with your
own style the word and phrase descriptors before each chapter,
then consider the descriptions of the nine Enneagram styles.
The word I phrase descriptors are meant to be a prcis or par­
tial cataloging of the positive and negative features of the nine
styles. For a formally researched, statistically reliable and vali­
dated inventory, with a standardized sample and normative
scores, you might want to take the Wger Enneagram Person­
alty Style Sales ( WEPS to help you to differentiate your type
(now in the research and development phase).
Like the WEPSS the exrcises have been developed over
many years, through many workshops and courses. They are
designed to help you reflect on your own exerience. As you till
the data of your experience, the Eneagram descriptions may
exose a patter that has been present in your life without your
recognizing it.
The exrcises begin with very general reflection questions
and then become more specific, something like a funnel which
is wide at the top and narrow at the bottom. There are exrcises
for each dimension of the Enneagram personality mosaic. So this
manual follows the process of knowing. Begin with your exeri­
enceto provide the data; then let uderstandig arise from your
exerience to produce a template for organizing the data; then
come to some judgmentabout your experience and understand­
ing.
4 THEENNEAGRAM
CORE SELF OR ESSENCE OR OBJECTIVE PARADIGM
Some schools of perennial wisdom (including the
Enneagram) and some contemporary psychological theories of
development and personality make a basic distinction between
our essence or real self and our personalt or public or false
self. First we'll consider our natural, genuine core self-the self
we were bor with. Then we'll look at our public self-the pro­
tective covering around our true self that we donned and/or
were conditioned into whose function is to protect our vulner­
able self, keep it secure, and facilitate our commerce with our
environment.
I our essence, at the heart of each style, lie certain strengths
and capabilities that enable us to survive and thrive. We experi­
ence these abilities and qualities as values or ideals that we prize
and are spontaneously drawn to. All of these values are virtu­
ally or potentially present in our core self, and we are capable of
appreciating and actualizing all of them. Temperamentally,
though, we tend to favor and are motivated by a hierarchy of
these values, with one or a few being more potent and central
than others. These values are the motivating and organizing ten­
dencies that become central for each personality style. These cor
value tendences organize and guide our energies, perceptons,
emotional reactions, and behaviors. They are at the root of who
we are and who we want to become.
The following exercises are designed to help you get in touch
with your own core values. They are general inquiries into your
fundamental attractions, orientations, meanings, and motiva­
tions. They are meant to reveal what is important to you, what
really matters. Record your answers on a separate piece of pa­
per or in a joural.
Exercise 1-What is the purpose of life?
If a young child asked you what the purpose of life is-what
are we here for-how would you respond to him or her? Re-
Intoducton 5
member, this is a young child (let's say around age six), so your
response has to be simple and brief.
A variation of this theme would be to substitute a Martian
for a child. The Martian asks you, as an Earthlig, why you are
on this planet. What is the purpose of Earthlings? What would
you say to the Martian?
Take some time to reflect on this and record your answer.
Exercise 2-1£ you only had one year to live, what would you
do?
If you were told you only had one year to live, what would
you do in that year? Your health will be fine all the way up to the
end. Then in the last few weeks you will deteriorate rapidly and
die. How would you spend the year?
An additional consideration you might ask yourself is why
aren't you doing this now? Why not now?
Exercise 3-Write your own personal mission statement.
What would you like or what do you understand your mis­
sion in life to be? This statement is meant to be the embodiment
of your vision and values. This declaration will express what
you believe the meaning of your life is all about.
Put another way: what is your vocation? What do you feel
called to be ad to do? What do you believe is the purpose of
your life?
Write down your personal mission statement. Within it you
will find expressed your innermost values and ideals (i.e., The
kind of person I would like to be is� The kinds of activities I
would like to engage in are _ ; My personal mission is to _ ).
Exercise 4-What do you really want?
What do you realy want in your truest self? Write down
what comes to you.
With this material from your own experience and under­
standing, look now at Figure 1 (page 7).
6 THE ENNEAGRAM
Figure 1 summarizes much of the material that will be teated
in discussig the nine Eneagram styles. Nie positive core char­
acteristics or values are represented by the inermostcircle (I) of
Figure 1. These values are part of our essence. The healthy self
has the potential for valuing, developing, and utilizing each of
these characteristics. When one of tese qualities is present, all
are virtually present, for each contains the others. For example,
if you cultivate the valued characteristic of goodness, you will
also be loving, wise, loyal, and the rest. Pictorially, tis is indi­
cated by te dotted lines showing these core values as perme­
able and intermingling.
You will find these values described in more detail under
the heading Positve Core Vlue Tendences in the left hand col­
umn of each of the nine styles. If you compare your responses to
Exercises 1, 2, 3, and 4 to the descriptions in this column, you
may find some resonances to your own value preferences. The
adjectives and phrases in the top section of each checklist ttled
Positve Dscritons of Your Solealso point to the healthy char­
acteristics found in the authentic self.
To operate efectively in the world, we need, and have avail­
able to us, all of these qualities. So in a situation when we need
to be assertive, we can call on our power; when we need to be
nurturing, we can call on our love; when we need to have f,
we can call on our joy, etc. The flexible person has this whole
spectrum of adaptive attitudes and behaviors available. Even
so, we naturally tend to rely on and use one or a few favorite
ways of operating. By temperament or destiny we are particu­
larly attracted to, are guided by, and cultivate one of these value
vectors which becomes an organizer and expresser of the self.
The other vectors are used as auxiliaries to complement our cen­
tral preference.
We need all nine paradigm perspectives to see reality objec­
tively. The healthy person has access to these reality based and
reality informed paradigms which provide pliancy and flexibil­
ity to our style. To be effective, we need to take multiple per­
spectives on a problem or situation. Even so, we tend to see the
world from one favored and developed perspective or another.
This is the particular viewpoint, acumen and problem-solving
Enneagram
Personality Style
Profile
9
7
5 4
I Genuine Ideal or Authentic Values
II Area of Avoidance
III Defense Mechanism
Intoducton 7
2
IV Idealized Self-Image or Compensating Values
Figure 1
8 THEENEAGRAM
approach we have to ofer any group. Due to our expertise in
our paradigm, we can often perceive and understand some things
more clearly than others; we are more competent in some areas
than others; and we can resolve certain issues more easily than
oters. When we are acting from our healthy self, we contribute
our strengths, gifts, and points of view to society.
PERSONALITY OR PUBLIC SELF
OR SUBJECTIVE PARADIGM
Under favorable inner and outer conditions and with good
enough parenting, our core real self emerges and flourishes.
When our spontaneous urges, sensations, feelings, images, and
ideas are met with empathic interest, acceptance, and encour­
agement, we then develop according to the enfolding of our es­
sential nature. We become who we really are.
However if the appearance of our core self is met with indif­
ference, criticism, or misinterpretation, then we develop a per­
sonality or public self to cover our real self and protect it. This
peripheral self is an attempt to defend and maintain our inner
self in the face of our critics, to appease them, to gain their atten­
tion and approval, to win them over to our side, or to defeat
them. These strategies are attempts to make ourselves attrac­
tive, good, acceptable, safe, and secure. Instead of exrssing
our real values, preferences, feelings, and thoughts, we try to
imprss others. We begin to manipulate both ourselves and oth­
ers. We become what we believe we have to be.
Our core gifts get distorted and caricatured into ways we
think we shouldbe. To be acceptable or somebody, we have to
be good, giving, eficient, special, etc. Our core ideals or values
become crystallized into ieale sU-iages, partal expressions
of our full self that we overidentify with and believe represent
our whole self. We mistakenly believe that if we attain and mani­
fest these idealizatons, they will gain for us positve reinforce­
ment or at least help us avoid negative reinforcement. Now we
use our gifts and strengts to protect ourselves from others rather
than to build up our community.
Our paradigms or perspectives on the world tend to become
static, rigid, and inflexible. Our perspective becomes more lim-
Intoducton 9
ited and narrow and we develop tunnel vision. Our paradigms
become distorted and subjectve instead of reality-determined.
We try to solve problems in the same stereotyped manner with
the same automatic interpretations and reactions.
I sum, when we lose touch with our core self, we need to
substitute something in its place. So we assume a personality
and pursue substitute or compensating values in an attempt to
fill in w ha t feels missing.
Exrcises 5 through 15 may help you discover your person­
ality or subjective paradigm. These exrcises exlore the remain­
ing tree rings in Figure 1: your idealized self-image, an area
you tend to avoid, and the defensive techniques you employ to
help you avoid whatever doesn't fit your image of yourself.
Exercise 5How have you survived?
I this" dog-eat-dog world," what advice would you give to
a young child about how to survive? How do you make it in this
cruel world? What kind of survival tactics and strategies have
you discovered and devised that have kept you safe. For exmple,
some people might suggest: "Get them before they get you."
Others might say: "Be nice to people." While others might ad­
vise: "Get out of town or hide out."
Again, you may substtute a Venusian for a young child. Here
the Venusian is asking how do Earthlings survive on this inhos­
pitable planet? How have you managed to live this long?
Make a list of your techniques.
Exercise 6Where have you been looking for what you want
in the wrong places?
What have you substituted for what you really want that
you wrote down in Exrcise 4? As te song says, are you looking
for love in all the wrong places (like i food, drink, or sex)? Or
are you looking for truth trough status? Etc.
Write down what you have settled for or have mistakenly
been seeking.
10 THE ENEAGRAM
Our idealized self-image or compensating values are repre­
sented by the outerost circle (IV) in Figure 1. These idealiza­
tions tend to be caricatures or exaggerations of the essential val­
ues and characteristics found in our real self. These personality
styles lie around te periphery of our self where they act as a
covering to protect the self and act as mediators or translators
between the self and the world. These styles can vary in how
fexible or stfling they are-and they vary in how well tey trans­
late or convey to te world who we really are and in how dis­
torted or undistorted they bring in to us what is in the world.
These strategies are demarcated by solid lines, indicating the ri­
gidity and impermeability of the characteristics of our personal­
ity. The farther removed we get fom our core self, the more ste­
reotyped and automatic our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
become. The more set we are in our ways, the less te perspec­
tives, approaches, and strengths of the other styles are available
to us.
You will fnd these defensive or survival strategies for each
of the nine styles spelled out more fully in the column entitled
Distorted Core Characteristics. There you will see how our
healthy strivings can become distorted when we overidentify
with and overuse our basic gifts. Compare the survival tech­
niques you cataloged in Exercises 5 and 6 with the ones listed
here and see where you might recognize yourself.
AREA OF AVOIDANCE
Parts of ourselves we consider unacceptable, embarrassing,
or intolerable because they don't ft our idealized self-image are
disowned and relegated to our unconscious or are projected onto
others. The result is that we lose touch with even more aspects
of ourselves. Our response repertoire becomes more limited and,
ultmately we are less efective. The opposing attibutes, polari­
ties, or antteses of our self-image, then, are found in our area
of avoidance.
Each personality paradigm is like a lens or a searchlight with
a particular fous and clarity. Those aspects of reality that lie
outside the territory scanned by our paradigm are ofen vague,
obscurely recognzed, or not seen at all. Just as our paradigm
Introduction 11
enables us to see some things more clearly than others might, so
we can miss or pass over realities and possibilities because we're
not looking for them, are looking the other way, or don't want to
see them.
Exercise 7-Me and Not-Me
Make two columnar lists. In the first column, write down all
the characteristics you associate with yourself. These are quali­
ties that you identify with, find acceptable, and place inside your
self boundary.
In the next column, write down the opposite characteristics
of the qualities you listed in the first colum. These are the po­
larities you find unacceptable and don't want to identify with
and so place outside your self boundary. You may repress these
characteristics so they appear in your dreams as shadow fig­
ures. Or you may project them onto other people so they appear
as traits you don't like in others or as traits you admire in others.
You can project out or throw away your strengths as well as
your weaknesses.
For example, in Column 1 (Me) you may have written: "I am
nice." I Column 2 (Not-Me) you might write: "I am cruel," or
whatever the opposite of nice might be for you.
In the first column (Me) you may have said: "I am fearful,"
or "I seek security." While in the second column (Not-Me) you
may have said: "I am brave, " or "I am adventuresome," or what­
ever the polarity of fearful and security-seeking is for you.
Exercise 8Reowning the Not-Me
Go back to your list of characteristics in Colum 2 and iden­
tify with them or reown them. For example, how are you cruel?
Or brave? Resist your initial reaction of saying "I'm not," and
search out areas of your life where you have or do now manifest
these qualities. They represent untapped energy and strength. If
you can access them, they will broaden your paradigm consid­
erably and give you more resources for handling situations that
arise.
12 THE ENNEAGRAM
Exercise 9-Reframing the Not-Me
If you're still having trouble identifying with some charac­
teristics in your Not-Me column, take each quality and think
about what good is in that characteristic. For example, what's
good about being cruel? O what good qualities are contained in
being cruel? Perhaps these good qualities are being distorted.
For example, there might be considerable strength contained in
the anger and aggression found in being cruel. If this strength
and energy can be tapped cleanly, you can use it productively.
Exercise to-What are you afraid of?
What fears stand between you and your real self? What are
your fears that are keeping you fom doing what you really want
to do?
What is the demon or dragon that guards the path to your
inner self? When you quiet yourself and attempt to get in touch
with yourself, what arises to distract you or block your view?
Make a list of all the things you are afraid of.
Exercise ll-How do your fears keep you trapped in your false
personality or ego?
Often we become stuck in our habitual patters of thinking,
feeling, and behaving because our irrational and no longer help­
ful fears get in te way of trying something new and diferent.
For example, do you always have to be nice and accommo­
dating because you are afraid of expressing your anger or your
opinion for fear that people will not like you?
Or do you always have to be working on some project for
fear that if you slow down or have nothing to do, some uncom­
fortable feelings or wishes may arise in you? Or are you afraid
there will be no one there when you finally come home to your­
self?
Consider the fears you catalogued in Exercise 10. Notice how
they keep you imprisoned in your re�urring reaction loops, and
determine whether these fears are still realistic or mostly mythi­
cal by now.
Introduction 13
Exercise 12-Where are the edges of your paradigm?
Does your own paradigm create certain perceptions, inter­
pretations, rules, limits, boundaries, or taboos that keep you fear­
ful?
For example, if your paradigm involves perfectionism, then
your rules say you have to be right all the time and you fear
being wrong or not doing something perfect enough. Someone
with a different paradigm won't be bothered nearly as much
about being right or exact. Or if your paradigm says you have to
look calm, cool, and collected i order to survive, ten you "can't"
express your feelings and you are afraid of them and stay away
from them. O the other hand, someone else can express their
feelings freely, but they're not allowed to think straight.
Paradigms involve strong beliefs, and when you come up to
the edge of your belief, it can be very frightening to go any far­
ther. For example, if you believe the world is flat, when you come
up to your horizon you won't want to go any further.
So, if you believe you have to be strong, then you might be
afraid of and avoid being weak.
Write out how your paradigm creates your fears and avoid­
ances and how the rules of your paradigm prohibit you from
doing what you legitimately might want to do.
Exercise 13-1£ you break this rule or taboo or cross this bound­
ary, what are you afraid will happen?
Taboos or idols have power because you make yourself afraid
of them.
What are you telling yourself or what have you been told
happens to people who possess this dreaded quality or who
manifest these terrible characteristics? What will happen to you
if you go too far?
What happens to people who get angry? Are they shunned,
abandoned, locked up?
What happens to people who are lazy? Do they tm out to
be bums? Or do they end up like your Uncle Harry or your older
sister?
Are the consequences specific ("You'll be sent to the insane
14 THE ENEAGRAM
asylum") or vague? ("You'd better not do that, or else!")
Write down what you are afraid will happen if you enter
your area of avoidance.
Exercise 14What do you need to do to stop worshipping this
idol? What do you need to cast out this fear? What resources
do you need to marshal to confront your fears?
Perhaps you need to tum around and confront your fear.
Maybe all dogs (or men or women) don't bite. Expose yourself
to the very thing you are afraid of. You may be surprised to dis­
cover that you survive.
Perhaps you need to upgrade your information or get infor­
mation you lack. Sex may not make your hair fall out or perma­
nently stain your soul. The information you initially received
which made you fearful may have been faulty.
Perhaps before you say goodbye, you may first need to reas­
sure yourself that you will have connections in the future. Or
before you make contact, you may need to feel the inner strength
to be able to break that contact and withdraw when you need to.
You may need to rally some inner allies before you face your
fears and/or you might want some outer friends and guides
around when you push through your fear barrier. You don't
necessarily have to do all it by yourself.
Write down the strategies and resources you already have
and those you may need to acquire.
This land of shadows or area of avoidance is represented by
circle II of Figure 1. Notice that it lies between the core self and
the personality. The most direct route to the self is through this
avoided territory. To fnd ourselves we need to look at, identify
with, reclaim, and repatriate these banished features of our self.
The way to wholeness is through honoring and integrating all
of our polarities, not through cutting of half of them. Holding
onto both ends of our polarities creates energy; letting go of one
end depletes energy.
You will also find a section describing the Ara of Avoid­
ance under each of the nine Enneagram styles. Compare these
Intoducton 15
with your own avoidances you discovered i Exercises 7-14 and
see where you recognize yourself.
DEFENSE MECHANISMS
As we approach our area of avoidance, we become anxious.
So we devise ways to keep these unacceptable aspects of our­
selves out of our awareness. The defense mechanisms act as
bufers between our persona or idealized self and our shadow
characteristics or avoided self. Whatever we consider to be lis
allowed inside our paradigm or personality boundary and is
granted access to our awareness. What we thik of as Not-J is
placed outside our paradigm boundary and is banished from
consciousness. Our defenses prevent these rejected aspects of
ourselves from entering the province of the personality. Unfor­
tunately, they also keep us from contacting and reowning these
parts of our core self.
Exercise IS-What are your defense mechanisms?
This is a dificult question, because if your defense mecha­
nisms are working properly, you won't be aware of them-so
you need to be patient and observe yourself carefully.
When you start to feel anxious, what happens next? What
do you do?
When you vaguely become aware of something in yourself
you are uncomfortable with (like feeling angry, afraid, sexy, etc.)
or if someone else brings up something you are uncomfortable
with, what do you do to avoid it? For example, do you distract
yourself or change the subject? Do you go blank and lose your
train of thought, stop feeling, numb out, tighten your muscles,
or hold your breath?
Do you go into your head and get too heady? Or do you lose
your mind and get too feeling? Or do you just act impulsively
without much thought or feeling?
Do you blame others and start finding fault with them?
Do you do the opposite of what you really want to do? If
you want to do something for yourself, do you do what you
16 THE ENNEAGRAM
should do instead? Or if you want to slug someone, are you nice
to them instead?
Do you repress or deny what seems to be quite obvious to
others?
You probably have many defense mechanisms at your dis­
posal. We need them to survive psychologically. Write down the
ones you rely on the most.
The defense mechanisms are found in circle III of Figure 1,
between the idealized self-image (circle I) and the area of avoid­
ance (circle II). Graphically, the defense mechanisms separate
what we identify with as ourself fom what we avoid as ant­
thetical to our self. Psychically, they serve the same bufering
function.
You will also find a characteristic Defense Mehanism de­
scribed under each of the nine Enneagram styles. Notce whether
any of the defenses you discovered in Exercise 15 match any of
these.
OBJECTIVE PRINCIPLES AND
PARADIGMS I ADAPTIVE COGNITIVE SCHEMAS
Just as our physical body has certain laws and principles by
which it operates, so does the psyche have certain laws within
which it functions optimally. As the body has certain tolerances
or limits within which we must stay or we damage the body
(i.e., our body temperature can only go so high or so low or we
might die), so does the psyche have certain boundaries that need
to be respected or we injure the psyche (i.e., we can only tolerate
so much injustice, unloving, ugliness, etc. before we become sick
in our spirit or demoralized.)
When we are living in accordance with our core authentic
self, we have an intuitive, though perhaps unconscious, under­
standing of these objective principles or natural laws. Our para­
digms or inner maps are accurate reflections of reality and are
reliable guides for our choices and behaviors because they are
aligned with the laws of the universe and with the laws of our
own human nature. We function most efectively when we live
in harmony with these universal principles. They are built-in to
Intoducton 17
lead us to self-realization, to self-transcendence, and to commun­
ion with others and the world.
These objective principles and paradigms are found in the
.er circle of Figure 2 where they reside i our essence or real
self. These attitudes are delineated by dotted lines, indicating
their mutual co-presence and influence. That is, each of these
principles implies and virtually contains all the others. For ex­
ample, when freedom is present, there is also hope, justice, love,
etc.
Schemas represent pattered ways of thinking, feeling, and
behaving. Adaptive cognitive schemas faithfully record, code,
and organize exteral and interal data, so our cognitive maps
are accurate reflections of the territory. They are formulated on
repetitions ocurring in the real world. They are adaptive be­
cause they enable us to realistically negotiate our way around in
the world.
You will find these objective paradigms or adaptive schemas
described under the heading Adaptve Cogitve Shemas for
each of the nine Enneagram styles. Each style has a particular
principle that is especially useful to remember and operate out
of so the person remains aligned with reality and her or his own
true nature.
Exercise 16When you are in a resourceful state, what beliefs
are in place that align you with reality?
When you hold and express certain beliefs, attitudes, and
assumptons, you will find your body feeling physically relaxed,
supple, strong, and energetic. You will experience genuine emo­
tions such as joy, sadness, anger, fear, etc. Your mind will be clear,
open, and expansive.
Since it might be dificult to uncover these underlying objec­
tive paradigms or principles, work backwards. Recall a moment
when you felt at home and at ease in your body, when you spon­
taneously felt and expressed some feeling, when you were at­
tentive, alert, clearheaded and singleminded, when you genu­
inely felt connected to yourself and others; in short, when you
were fully present in the here and now.
18 THE ENNEAGRAM
In this resourceful state, what adaptive beliefs did you have
about yourself, about others, about the world and your place in
it?
Record your underlying perceptions, beliefs, and principles.
SUBJECTIVE OR DISTORTING PARADIGMSI
MALADAPTIVE COGNITIVE SCHEMAS
When we lose touch with our core self and lose faith in our
inner and outer reality, we fashion our own vision and version
of reality. Our narrowed and infexible paradigms or faulty as­
sumptions and belief systems are inaccurate maps which limit
and distort our perception of reality. They are not trustworthy
guides since they lead to the self-defeating strategies of the per­
sonality (though they were originally hoped to be self-protect­
ing and enhancing). When we follow these disordered percep­
tions, feelings, and behaviors, we are on the path away fom our
core self and away from genuine contact with others.
Maladaptive schemas impose archaic patterns on reality.
They recreate and then perceive old repetitions and recurrences
where there may not be any. They are maladaptive because these
maps don't fit the contemporary territory but rather distort in­
coming information to fit old patters.
These illusory paradigms or perceptions and their ensuing
limited strategies are found in the outer circle of Figure 2 where
they reside in the periphery or personalt. These stances are
separated by solid lines, indicating their narrow focus and tun­
nel vision. These positons often exclude other points of view.
You will fnd these distorting paradigms spelled out under
the heading Maladaptve Cogitve Shemas for each of the nine
styles. Each style has a particular trap or maladaptive schema
that keeps the individual stuck in a recurring reaction loop.
Exercise 17-When you are in a non-resourceful state, what
are the distorted perceptions and inaccurate interpretations that
are in place then?
When you hold beliefs and assumptions that are not aligned
with your own true nature or with reality, you will experience
7
Intoducton 19
Adaptive and Maladaptive
Cognitive Schema
of Each Personality Style
9
5 4
CORE (inner circle) ^
Adaptive Schema/Objective Paradigm
PERIPHERY (outer circle) ¬
Maladaptive Schemaistorting Paradigm
Figure 2
2
20 THE ENEAGRAM
your body being tense, rigid, enervated or hyperactive; you will
experience contaminated feelings such as guilt, depression, hos­
tility, envy, greed; your mind will be distracted, closed, cluttered,
confused.
Remember a time when you felt disconnected from yourself
and from others, when your body felt anxious and tense, when
your emotions felt crabbed or numbed or out of control, when
your mind couldn't focus or when you couldn't get it off some­
thing; in short, when you were in the "there and then" instead
of in the present.
When you were in that non-resourcefl state, what wer your
maladaptive beliefs about yourself, about others, about the world
and your place in it?
Write down the perceptions, assumptions and convictions
you were holding then.
VIRTUES/ADAPTIVE EMOTIONAL SCHEMAS
Virtues are good habits (vitusmeans strength in Latin). They
are the strengths that accompany a fully functioning and devel­
oping human being. They are clear, undistorted, objective ex­
pressions of spiritual energy. When we are living in accordance
with our real nature or essential self and our paradigms, assump­
tions and perceptions are accurate and objective, then a corre­
sponding virtue flows naturally from this position. For example,
the virtue of courage flows naturally from a sense of faith and
trust in our own and others' inner nature.
Virtues are adaptive emotional schemas that emanate from
our essential nature and represent dispositions that manifest our
best self. They are attitudes best suited to help us connect and
harmonize with reality and to energize, fulfill, and transcend
our real self.
The inercircle of Figure 3 displays the virtues of each type.
They are the endowments of our essence. They are separated by
a dotted line, indicating that when one of the virtues is present,
all the others are in effect contained within it.
You will also find a characteristic Virtue or Ada
p
tve Emo­
tional Shema detailed in the left hand column for each of the
Intoducton 21
nine Enneagram styles. Just as each style has a particular objec­
tive principle or adaptive cognitive schema to align you with
and remind you of your true nature, each style also has a dis­
tinctive virtue or guiding force and attitude to keep you on your
true path.
Exercise 1S-What are the virtues or strengths or good habits
needed for living a balanced adult life?
I your opinion, what skills and dispositions dos a person
need to live in an adult manner?
For example, what interpersonal or social skills should a
person cultvate and possess? What intellectual, emotional, physi­
cal, moral, spiritual competencies dos a person need for a sense
of adult eficacy and mastery? Write out your list.
Look at the nine virtues presented for the Enneagram styles.
Did any of them surprise you? Did you leave any of them out of
your list? You might want to add them.
Considering all the virtues and skills mentioned, which ones
do you already possess and are adept at?
Which habits and skills are you missing or deficient in?
What is interfering with your possessing and developing
these virtues? For example, do you have some prohibition or
inhibition about being strong? or loving? or feeling? or humor­
ous? or intelligent?
You might also want to look ahead to the next section. Per­
haps there is some bad habit or passion in place and operatig
that prevents the virtue from appearing and functioning.
PASSIONS/MALADAPTIVE EMOTIONAL SCHEMAS
Passions are bad habits. They are distorted expressions of
spiritual energy which try to substitute for the virtues. Passions
fuel and infate the personality but do not nourish our core self,
so we never feel really satisfied after exercising or giving into
them. A self-defeating cycle gets established between our dis­
torting paradigm and idealized self-image and the ruling pas­
sion. The idealized self-image inevitably gives rise to the pas-
22 TH ENNEAGRAM
sion which in tum urges us to pursue the automatic thoughts
and behaviors of the personality. So each of the nine subjectve
paradigms produces its characteristic passion. For example, the
pursuit of perfection, wherein we compare everything to unat­
tainable ideals and then attempt to reach those ideals, leads to
resentent because nothing appears as right or as fair as it should
be. This anger and resentment then drive us to try harder to be
perfect. Just as we tend to have only one idealized self-image, so
each of us tends to have a basic ruling passion or vice.
Passions are maladaptive emotional schemas since they arise
from the false self or personality, represent our non-resourceful
self, and don't lead to satisfying contact between our real self
and the world.
The passions and virtues are mutually opposing. If, in the
presence of your passion, you simply observe it and don't act on
it, then you experience your virtue. For example, if you feel
greedy, but don't grab, then you are practicing the virtue of de­
tachment.
Because the passions are associated with the peripheral self
or personality, tey are found in the outercircle of Figure 3. They
are represented by solid lines since the passions tend to operate
in a blind and inflexible manner with a tunnel-vision urgency.
The Passions or Maladaptve Emotonal Shemasare also de­
lineated in the right hand column (across from and opposed to
the Virtues) for each of the nine Enneagram styles.
Exercise 19-What passions are in possession of you?
The passions are experienced as an addictive energy. They
feel like alien forces tat drive you and that seem out of your
control.
What are the addictons and urges of your personality? What
are you driven to thinking and feeling and doing that you know
really isn't good for you? For example, do you compulsively com­
pare yourself to others? Do you feel possessed by resentment or
vengeance that you can't (or won't) let go of? Do you have to
have something and feel desperately bad if you missed it?
Write down your addictions, compulsions, obsessions, blind
7
Intoducton 23
Adaptive and Maladaptive
Emotional Schema
of Each Personality Style
9
5 4
2
CORE (inner circle) ^ Adaptive SchemalVirtue
PERIPHERY (outer circle) ^ Maladaptive Schema/Passion
Figre 3
24 THE ENNEAGRAM
urges, desires, thoughts, judgments, etc. Then compare these with
the passions described for the Enneagram styles and note any
similarities.
Exercise 20What is your predominant fault?
According to perennial wisdom and many religious tradi­
tions, the passion was referred to as your predominant fault or
cardinal sin since it was fom this source or "hinge" that all your
other misdirected attitudes and behavior flowed or were con­
nected.
Do any of the passions or addictions you noted seem central
to your personality style? Do any of these mal-energized atti­
tudes seem to cause most of your problems? Do you recognize
any of the passions as being pervasive throughout your person­
ality or paradigm distortions?
Consider how this passion influences your perceptions,
choices, and behaviors. Trace the tendrils of ti passion through­
out the fabric of your personality. Like the roots of a weed, you
need to see how it stretches out and touches much of what you
do.
For example, if your predominant passion is gluttony, you
might note how your desire for new and varied experiences to
spice up your life, your need to have your options open and
commitments contained, your fear and avoidance of pain, etc.
are all manifestations of your basic predominant fault or pas­
sion.
Write down your reflections and observations about your
predominant fault.
PARADIGM SHIFTS
The following exercises are designed to help you reflect on
changes in your perceptions, feelings, and behaviors. You may
experience these shifts either as voluntary choices or involun­
tary movemets. Hopefull y you will gain some insights into how
to vary your customary manner of interacting. The next exercise
proposes the fundamental paradigm shift query.
Intoducton 25
Exercise 21-What is impossible for you to do within your own
style? What can't you imagine yourself doing (i.e., if you could
or would do it, it would fundamentally change your style)?
A paradigm shift takes you outside of your own boundaries
and into another paradigm or world view with a new set of rules
and boundaries.
What you fnd difcult to do might be relatively easy inside
another paradigm. If your paradigm makes it dificult for you to
express your feelings, anoter paradigm might make it natural
and expected. If your paradigm makes expressing anger dif­
cult for you, another's paradigm might make it facile. O if your
paradigm makes clear thinking diffcult, another paradigm will
fnd it the logical thing to do.
Some problems can't be easily solved by your paradigm but
can be solved by someone else's paradigm. You can fnd the an­
swers to some of your "unsolvable problems" by applying some­
one else's paradigm.
For example, do you fnd it hard to imagine yourself doing
frst what you want to do and then second what you shoulddo?
O vice versa?
Do you find it almost inconceivable that you would express
your feelings openly as you are feeling them?
Dos it seem unimaginable to you to live without doubts?
Write down what you can't do (or, really, won't allow your­
self to do)-something which, if you were doing it, would be a
radical change in your style of living and interacting.
Exercise 22-What happens to you under stressful conditions?
Do you fnd yourself regressing to earlier patters of behav­
ior? Do you fnd yourself thinking, feeling, behaving the way
you did when you were little?
Do you try other desperate measures to avoid dealing with
your issues?
Or uder stress do you sometimes rise to the occasion and
surprise yourself by how well you cope under pressure or in an
emergency? Do you rally resources in yourself you usually don't
call up?
26 THE ENNEAGRAM
Paradi
g
m Shifts
I am settled !
I am powerful ! 8.
Weakness
I am O.K. ! 7.
Pain
Conflict
9.
1. I amgood !
Anger
2. I am helpful !
Needs
I am loyal ! 6. '- 3. I am successful !
Deviancy Failure
I am wise ! 5. 4. I am special !
Emptiness Ordinariness
Movements Toward Resourceful
and Non-Resourceful States
Figure 4
Intoducton 27
Write down what you're like when you fall apart under stss.
What are you thinking, feeling, and doing when you start to
disintegrate? When stress brings out the worst in you, just what
is that worst?
Write down what you're like when you pull yourself together
under stress. How do you respond gracefully under fre? What
are your efectve coping strategies when you're under pressure?
What are you thinking, feeling, and doing when you rise to the
occasion?
STRESSFUL CONDITIONS
Under stress, each style tends towards certain backup strat­
egies of defense and coping. When our customary automatic
paradigms and emotional and behavioral patters fail to rem­
edy the situation, we often compulsively use them more rather
than try something diferent. When we finally give up on these
patter, or when they break down, we find ourselves by de­
fault using the compulsive maneuvers of another style.
Shifting to the Low Side of the Proceeding Style
This regressive backup strategy can be identfied by follow­
ing the direction of the arrow forward fom our customary style
to te
p
roedig style. We begin to take on and resemble the
negative features or te low side of this type. Besides assuming
te compulsive strategies of this style, we also start to shun the
same aspects of reality this type avoids. Thus even more parts of
ourselves become unavailable and our reactions become more
narrow and rigid. For example, the sensitive person despairs of
tng to be special, begins to avoid his or her own needs, and
instead attempts to help others as a way to gain love and atten­
tion. S/he becomes a "sufering servant." Tis would be how
Style 4 might move toward te low or compulsive side of Style 2
when experiencing inner and outer stress.
28 THE ENEAGRAM
Shifting to the High Side of the Proceeding Style
Stress often brings out the worst in us. However, sometmes
it brings out the best. Under these circumstances, we fd our­
selves deliberately choosing the alterate paradigm and efec­
tive methods of another style. We can shift to the high side of the
proceeding style. For example, the sensitive person, realizing
slhe is becomig overly self-absorbed or involved in her own
process, elects to go out of herself and genuinely empathize and
serve others. This would be how Style 4 under stress might move
toward the high or healthy side of Style 2.
These paradigm shifts toward regression, fagmentation, and
compulsion or toward growth, integration, and wholeness are
diagrammed i Figure 4.
Look at the secton Paradig Shifs You May Experience
Under Stssf Conditons for each of te nine Enneagram styles
and see where you recognize some of your own patter shifts
under stress.
Exercise 23What are you like in relaxed, nonthreatening situ­
ations?
When you are at your best, how do you ti and fel about
yourself, about other people, and about the way you can inter­
act with others? How are you diferent here from when you feel
anxious, threatened, or bad about yourself? What do you do
when you are at your best that you can't or won't do at your
worst?
When you feel safe (for example in your home environment
or with your family) what do you allow yourself to think, feel,
and do that you don't allow yourself to do in public? For ex­
ample, are you more demanding or whining at home? Some­
times in familiar, comfortable settings, we allow our less socia­
bly acceptable parts to come out.
Under relaxed conditions either some suppressed strengths
or some covered up weaknesses may emerge.
Write down what you're like at your best when you feel safe,
accepted, relaxed, integrated, fee, and alive.
Now write down what you're like when you feel safe and
Intoducton 29
unthreatened and you let out the little gremlin or devil in you.
What uncharacteristic or unsocial behaviors do you let yourself
get away with?
HEALTHY CONDITIONS
Under rlaxed, afrming conditions, each style tends toward
more balanced, integrated, objective, proactive (vs. reactive)
modes of perception and behavior. To remedy a situaton, we
give i to another approach instead of givig upon our custom­
ary approach. This represents a paradigm shift. We enlarge our
perspectve with another fame of reference and increase our
behavioral repertoire with another set of skills.
Shifting to the High Side of the Preceding Style
This alterate paradigm and strategy is found in the healthy
coping patters of the style prcedigour own, going backward
against the direction of te arrow. We begin to assume and acti­
vate the positive features or high side of tis type. To discover
the underutilized resources in ourselves, we can look to the per­
spective, strengths, efective coping strategies, and attitudes of
the preceding style to know what to draw upon in ourselves to
get balanced or unstuck. It is generally healthy and motivating
to be able to acknowledge and activate the idealized self state­
ment of the preceding type. For example, it is beneficial for the
perfectionist style to be able to say, "I'm okay even though I'm
not perfect."
Shifting to the Down Side of the Preceding Style
Sometimes when we are in relaxed comfortable surround­
ings we can slip into the dow side of the preceding style. We
miss the mark and take on the compulsive features of the other
paradigm. We do things in our family that we wouldn't dare do
i public. For example, when feeling safe, the wise person might
become bossy or cruel (the low side of Style 8) instead of acting
out of teir instincts and being assertive (the high side of Style
8) .
30 TH ENEAGRAM
These paradigm shifts toward growth, integration, and
wholeness or towards stagnation, fagmentation, and compul­
sion are diagrammed in Figure 4.
Look at te descriptions of the Paradigm Shifs You May Ex­
perience Under Relaxed Conditions for each of the nine
Enneagram styles and see where you recognize your percep­
tual, emotional, and behavioral shifts when you feel accepted
and safe.
THREE CENTERS OR INSTINCTS
According to some schools of perennial wisdom, each per­
son has three centers of intelligence or three loci of decision­
making or tree instincts that help us survive and thrive in the
physical, interpersonal, and spiritual realms in which we live.
Modem neuroanatomy has uncovered three layers in the evolu­
tion of the brain. There is the reptilian brain located atop the
brain stem. Next developed the old mammalian brain consist­
ing of te limbic system which encircles the reptilian brain. Fi­
nally, there evolved the neocortex which surrounds the mam­
malian brain.
The instinct for self-preseration is located in our gut center
in the pelvic basin and provides us with a physial sense of how
we are doing in relaton to ourselves. It naturally informs u about
what we need. When this instinct is ill-functioning or damaged,
we experience a deep insecurity about ourselves. This is called
te Kat center. I traditonal wisdom, it is the place we go to
get centered and stll. It is also the center of movement as in Tai
Chi and the martial arts. Various breathig, movement, and pos­
tural exrcises are used to activate tis center. I the reptilian
brain are found those brain fctions responsible for breathing,
coordinating and smoothing movements, along with other au­
tonomic nervous system actvities. This section of the brain is
said to contain te ancestal lore of the species.
The instinct for interersonal rlations is loated i our heart
center and provides us with an emotonal sese of whom we are
with and how we are doing in relationship to others. It tells us
what the other person needs. When tis istinct is not fnction-
Introduction 31
ing, we experience a sense of loneliess. Tis is called te O
center. I traditional wisdom, this is the center of devotion and
love. The heart center is often activated by chanting or other
auditory practces such as voal prayer. The old mammalian brain
contains those parts of te brain that regulate the emotions along
with the pleasure/pain center.
The instinct for connection and orientation (syntony) is lo­
cated in our head center and provides us with an itelectual
sse of where we are, where we have come from, and where
we are going. This instinct helps us find a sense of direction,
purpose, and meang. When it is damaged, we feel unconnected,
useless, and inadequate. This is called the Pat center. I peren­
nial wisdom, the head center is activated through visualization
techniques. This is the seat of enlightenment. The neocortex or
gray matter is also called the associative cortex because it is able
to make assoiations, plan ahead and consider consequences,
delay and inhibit, make voluntary movements and carry on dis­
course with the exteral environment.
While each of us has and needs all three centers, we typi­
cally rely on and prefer one center over the others. Eneagram
Types 8-9-1 prefer the gut ceter; Types 2-3-4 prefer te hear
center; Types 5-6-7 prefer the head center. When one center tries
to do the work of the other centers, we often become unbalanced
and become too heady or too feeling dominated or too impul­
sive. When all three centers are allowed to function freely and
work in harmony, we exerience a sense of wholeness, integra­
tion, and balance.
Plato and later Gurdjief spoke of three types of individuals
in whom either the head, heart, or abdominal centers predomi­
nated. A fourth type of person was one who had integrated all
three centers. Plato used the image of a winged chariot pulled
by horses and driven by a charioteer to describe the iterrela­
tionships among the physical center (the chariot), the emotional
center (the horses), and the intellectual center (the charioteer).
Gurdjief updated this image to his time and spoke of a carriage,
horse, and driver to illustrate te three centers.
Tese three centers for gatering, evaluating, and acting on
information are depicted in Figure 5.
32 THE ENEAGRAM
The Three Instincts
Intellectual Center
Orienting instinct "Where am I?"
Purpose, direction
Dysfunction: Feels useless, inadequate
Emotional Center
Relating instinct "Who am I with?"
Social relationships
Dysfunction: Loneliness
Instinctual Center
Consering instinct "How am I?"
Self preservation
Dysfunction: Insecurity about self
Figur 5
Intoducon 33
The remaining exrcises ask you to reflect on your exeri­
ence of your three centers.
Exercise 24Which is your preferred center: head, heart, or
gut (body)?
When you need to make an important decision, which cen­
ter do you ultimately consult and trust?
Do you consult and trust logic and reason? Do you list the
pros and cons of the various options available to you? Do you
take a rational approach to decision-makig? Do you use your
head?
Do you consult and trust your emotions to discer how you
feel about your various options? Do you imagine the possibili­
ties available to you and let your feelings move you one way or
the other? Do you use your heart?
Do you consult and trust your body to give you a felt sense
for what you want? Do you make decisions rapidly and instinc­
tively, sometimes before you tink or feel anything about your
options? With this judgment there seems no room for doubt. Do
you use your gut?
Write out how you characteristically make important deci­
sions in your life. You may find you use all three approaches.
The more the better. But which center is your fal "go ahead
with it" arbiter?
Exercise 25What is the condition of your carriage (physical
center) at this time?
Have you taken care of your body or carriage? Is it polished
and well-oiled and ready for the road of life? Or have you ne­
glected it so it is rusty and can barely move?
Through exrcise and movement, your muscles and joints
naturally lubricate themselves. Do you regularly exrcise to keep
your body in tone?
Are you overweight so your horses can barely pull you? Or
are you uderweight to such an extent that you can't bear any
burden placed on you?
3 THE ENEAGRAM
Do you need to consider your diet? Are you providing your
body the vitamins and minerals it needs? O are you clogging
up your arteries? If your body craves proteins, do you give it te
nourishment it needs or do you feed it cotton candy?
Are addictions to food, drink, chemicals, smoking, etc. sub­
stituting for healthy bodily care?
Do you need to pursue any body therapies to get your car­
riage in shape (therapeutic massage, Rolfing, bioenergetics,
Feldenkrais movement therapy, Reichian therapy, Reiki therapy,
Tai Chi, Aikido or other martial arts, breathing therapies, Zen or
other methods, to name just a few, for reachig your still point)?
Write down your reflections.
Exercise 26What is the condition of your horses (emotional
center) at this time?
What is the status of your emotional life? Have you devel­
oped your emotions to the extent you have developed your mind
and body? Are you i touch with and comfortable expressing
the full range of your feelings?
How are you with your hard feligs such as anger? Are
you able to move against others wit assertive and confonta­
tional behavior?
How are you with your sof feligs such as love, afection
and joy? Can you move towards others with warmth?
How are you with your fagile feligs such as sadness, em­
barrassment, and fear? Can you move away fom others when
appropriate? Or express your vulnerability?
Are your horses uderfed and underexercised? Do you pro­
vide them with energy and oxygen? O do you cut them of by
holding your breath and tightening your muscles? Are your feel­
ings overcontrolled, restricted, repressed, compulsive?
Or are your horses wild and undisciplined? Do your feel­
ings r wild so they are in control of you instead of you pro­
viding a gently guiding rein? Are your feeligs hysterical, la­
bile, overwhelming, impulsive?
Again, are any addictions (food, alcohol, nicotine, chemical
substances, people, work, etc.) substituting for, covering over,
Intoducton 35
or distracting you fom genuine emotional contact and expres­
sion?
Do you need to consider any emotonal cathartc therapies
to free your emotions? Examples include Gestalt therapy, group
therapy, Primal Scream or other regressive therapies.
Write down how you are with your feelings.
Exercise 27-What is the condition of your driver (head cen­
ter) at this time?
What is the status of your cognitive life? The fanciest car­
riage with the liveliest horses won't do you any good if your
driver is drunk or doesn't know the way.
Are your cognitive maps, your belief systems, your assump­
tions, your ways of construing and interpreting reality accurate
and up to date? or are you still working with the beliefs, atti­
tudes, and maps you developed when you were a child? Do you
need to update your maps?
Have you checked your assumptions out with other people
lately? And have you checked your hypotheses and schemas
against both exteral data and the data of your own experience?
You may be changing the data to fit your schema or denying
your own experience to fit some "should" or prejudice passed
on to you when you were young.
Is your thinking clear or muddled? Are you engaging in
"Stinkin' Thinkin'" as the Twelve-Step program calls it? Do you
overgeneralize, absolutize, think in all-or-nothing, either-or,
black-or-white categories? Do you miniize or ignore the data
in font of you? Do you confuse your projections with reality?
Does your attention habitually go in a certain direction? or
in a self-defeating cycle? Do you need some form of cognitive
therapy to get your thinking up-to-date, accurate, and realistic?
Rational-Emotive therapy, cognitive-behavioral or cognitive
dynamic therapy, aspects of Neurolinguistic Programming, and
Multi-Modal therapy are a few examples.
Write down your assessment of how your head center is fnc­
tioning.
36 THE ENEAGRAM
A earlier exercise (3) asked what you really wanted i your
truest self. Te remaining exercises ask you to be more specifc
and reflect on what each center of your self desires.
Exercise 28-What does your head need and want?
Exercise 29-What does your heart need and want?
Exercise 30What does your gut (body) need and want?
Intoducton 37
The Nine Styles
The Powerful 8.
Person
The Joyful 7.
Person
The Peaceful
Person
9.
1. The Good
Person
2. The Loving
Person
The Loyal 6. '- 3. The Effective
Person Person
The Wise 5.
Person
4. The Original
Person
Stle 1
The Good
Person
Positve Descriptors of Your Style
serou
rponsible
deiated
conscetous
high puose
prise
puctual
honest
hardworkg
moral
high standards
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
overlycrtcal
demadig
ang
uptght
sar
dve
ipatet
slave-drver
morastc
tg to har
Stle 1 39
ζa W WÎ
ݤ-
..
... . ,.T.G ..
.. - "-
'l~¡wI " Z.¯�Iw
Pm W ..
¯um&. 3. 3e W ¼
,- "-
T W 5. 4.�om
.. ....
stvg for excelence
idealstc
rlable
torough
paistakg
fai
perverg
develop al potentals
etial
cart sekg
itense
pereonistc
high expeatons
ualstc
overly-persistet
stc
iterrg
purtanical
pracy
may //shoudsN
overly seous
40 THE ENNEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You value and are attracted to
goess. You want to make
the world a better place to live
in. You want to realize all of
your potentials and help oth­
ers actualize teirs.
You have an appreciation for
and a dedication to excellence
and doing things well.
You have an ability to see how
people or situations could be
and you are willing to work
hard to bring about that real­
ity.
You have a highly developed
critcal faculty and so are goo
at quality control.
You have the ability to be ex­
act, to get the correct point.
You have a clarity of fous and
intention. You like to be pre­
cise.
You are altruistc and have an
idealistic concer for people
and causes beyond yourself.
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You can overidentify with the
idealzed seliage of being
goo rght or perfet. Tese
become more important than
anything else. If you are a
good girl or good boy, then
you are acceptable.
You are afaid to do anything
unless you can do it perfectly.
You have dificulty accepting
yourself, other people, and re­
ality as it is.
You can become preocupied
with what is wrong or miss­
ing and consequently may not
appreciate what is actually
there.
You can become pedantic
about what is right. You can
get overly preocupied with
details and with gettng every­
thing right. You can become
obsessive or compulsive.
You may not consider your
own needs, wants, and feel­
ings as important as what you
think you shoud do.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You desire, are committed to
and take action to bring about
a better world.
You have strong feelings
about and become intensely
involved in whatever you
value.
You are conscientious, dedi­
cated, persevering, reliable,
hardworking, and industri­
ous.
You are serious. You live your
life with high itentions, ide­
als, and purpose.
You have an appreciation for
fairess and justice.
You have a stong moral char­
acter. You try to live your life
true to a higher good and a
higher vision. You want to live
a life of moral purity.
Stle 1 41
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You have a tendency to inter­
fere wit or to intrude upon
others' lives to make them bet­
ter-for their own good.
You can be overzealous. You
can be unwilling to see an­
other point of view. You have
difficulty stepping back and
beig dispassionate.
You can become over-respon­
sible and a workaholic. You
become tense and live your
life under pressure with time
running out to do all the good
that must be done.
You can take yourself and situ­
ations too seriously. You de­
velop an inability to play and
have f.
You are prone to resentment
since you tend to radily judge
that life isn't fair.
You can be moralistic and pu­
ritanicaL You are tyrannized
by your shoulds.
42 THE ENEAGRAM
Objective Paradigm
Wholeness
Adaptive Cognitive Schema:
You understand perfection to
be a process, as something
you will always be on your
way towards.
You trust the growth process
in yourself and others. The
universe is unfolding as it
should.
You can appreciate the mo­
ment as it is. You enjoy your­
self and others as dappled.
You are right now just where
you ought to be.
Virtue: Serenity
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
You are in touch wit and are
at ease with yourself. You are
able to relax in the process of
living. You experience te bal­
ance and harmony between
opposites.
Distorting Paradigm
Perection
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema:
You think of perfection in
terms of a fnished prouct as
something you should have
achieved yesterday.
You set your own unreachable
standards because you don't
trust your natural unfolding
and development.
You believe you need to im­
prove upon the moment. The
better is the enemy of the
good. Instead of leaving your­
self, or others, alone, you in­
terrupt and interfere by trying
to make it better.
Passion: Anger
Maladaptive Emotional Schema:
Anger can become an habitual
emotional attitude for you.
You are resentful because
noting meets your high stan­
dards and your expectations
aren't fulfilled. You engage in
all-or-nothing, black-and­
white thinking. Eiter it's per­
fect or it's no good at all.
Stle 1 43
Area of Avoidance: Anger
You are uncomfortable being angry and find this feeling unac­
ceptable even though it is a frequent reaction of yours. Good
boys and girls should not be angry.
Defense Mechanism: Reaction Formation
To keep your angry impulses out of your awareness, you do the
opposite of what you are inclined to do. For example, instead of
confronting someone, you are nice to them; or instead of being
sexual, you become puritannical.
How the Distortion of This Style Developed
• You were rewarded for being good and doing the right thing;
you were punished for being bad and doing bad things.
• You got approval by being a good boy or good girl.
• You developed the belief that you were "somebody" if your
ideals were higher than everybody else's, and you were "no­
body" if you weren't perfect.
• You believed that by seeking excellence and having high stan­
dards you would be better than others.
• Being an over-achiever brought you good feelings and social
approval.
• You came to believe that others wouldn't like you unless you
were perfect.
• You discovered you could do things better or do things right
if you did them yourself.
• You leared to control yourself and others and the situation
by following the rules and prescribed shouds.
• You were given, or you assumed, responsibility at a young
age. You were expected to grow up early and be a parent to
your siblings and maybe even to your own parents.
• You may have been the eldest or an older child .
• You leared at home or at school tat being angry was unac­
ceptable.
4 THE ENEAGRAM
What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style
• Spontaneity; fun; 1ighthearted gaiety.
• More carefee interactions with people.
• Trust in yourself, others, reality.
• Going with the flow; enjoying te process instead of control­
ling and pushing the river.
• Feeling relaxed.
• Tolerance and acceptance instead of being under the g, scru-
tinized, criticized, pressured.
• Being yourself instead of having to prove yourself.
• Living the unexamined life.
• Doing something half-well just because you like to do it or
because it's worth doing even half-well.
Paradigm Shifts You May Exprience
Under Stressful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• You may try even harder to right the situation or make your­
self better.
• You might strive more, push more, work more-to the point
of exhaustion.
• You may become more rigid and strict with yourself and oth­
ers.
• You may get more resentful because your goodness isn't fairly
recompensed. You are good, you try hard, and you don't feel
rewarded; and that isn't fair.
• You might become more serious, angry, fustrated, morose,
and depressed.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 4
• You may feel misunderstood, victimized, taken advantage of.
You may feel bad because the world doesn't appreciate your
eforts to make it better.
• You might attempt to be specalif you can't be right or perfect
enough.
Stle 1 45
• You may become more critical of yourself sometimes to the
point of saying: Wat' te use. Imhopeless. 111 never be
go eough. "
• You may tum your anger on yourself and become depressed
instead of channeling your energy into productve problem
solving.
• You may give up on your precision and exctess and begin
to exaggerate the situation and become overwhelmed by your
feelings. You avoid ordinary exerience and become dramatic.
• You may engage in stinkin' thinki' by absolutizing and
catastrophizing and by getting stuck in the polarities of ei­
ther / or; black/white.
• Instead of taking action and doing something about what's
wrong, you may become demoralized and immobilized. You
may find yourself mired in melancholy and self-pity.
• You may get discouraged and give up on your ideals and goals.
• You may avoid looking at and dealing wit reality in a straight­
forward, no-nonsense manner and become manipulative.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 4
• Here you get into your real feelings. You get in touch with
your real preferences and identity and disidentify with your
exteral and interal "shoulds" and expectations.
• You go in search of your real self instead of trying to realize
your idealizations.
Paradigm Shifts You May Exprience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Style
• You become forgiving of yourself and others.
• You accept yourself and the situation as it is instead of being
critical and immediately wanting to change something. You
let the weeds grow with the wheat. You accept yourself as
dappled.
46 T ENEAGR
• You practice the Serenity Prayer and are more tolerant and
patient.
• You shift your categories fom either / or and all-or-nothing to
both/ and, continuum, process.
• You can ask yourself what you're angry about and check
whether your expectations for yourself and others are unreal­
istically high.
• You express your anger cleanly or let it go instead of holding
onto it and remaining resentful.
• You are more accepting of all your feelings-especially your
sexual and aggressive responses. What you think are demons
are actually daions (friendly helpers).
A Shif to the High Side of Style 7
• You can say to yourself " I' okay even tough I' imper­
fet. N
• You take yourself and te situation less seriously. You get in
touch with your playful side. You take a break before you
break.
• You are more spontaneous. You let yourself go and let things
happen instead of trying to get more control.
• You lighte up instead of getting more heavy and serious. You
take your foot of the brake when you're skidding vs. pushing
on the brake harder.
• You can go with the flow instead of against it. You don't push
the river since it flows by itself. You trust the process. Every­
thing, including you, is on the way.
• You can ask the child in you what she or he needs and wants .
• You can do what is desirable and pleasurable instead of what
shoudbe done.
• You use divergent vs. convergent thing. There are many
ways to solve a problem vs. only one right way. You are more
creatve and imaginative.
• You look at what's right in yourself and the situation instead
of what's wrong. You can look at what's there vs. what isn't
there. You can see the glass as half-full just as well as half­
empty.
Stle 1 47
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 7
• You may try to escape the present pain or situation through
addictions or other pleasurable trapdoors (e.g., you may try
to avoid your inner voices and "shoulds" through addictons
to alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.).
Stle 2
The Lovin
g
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
helig
unselfsh
gvig
sensitve
complmentg
carg
lovig
nurig
gentle
sympatetc
Negative Descrptors of Your Style
itusive
itererg
possessive
manpulatve
demandig
vit
rscuig
complaig
guit-iducig
nonconiontg
Stle 2 49
¯Î Æ
T
9.
�� �
Pm WW

Ë¥Wh fm
¯¾5 á.¯eOøm
afg
acceptg
rrm rom
sacrifcig
oter-center
compassionate
lsteg
praisig
servg
rlatonship-oriet
supporg
uwilig to reive
overrotetg
mar
oter-dirte
nedy
smoterg
iantliig
undeservig of help
jealous
overy swet
50 TE ENNEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You value and are attracted to
love. You want to make the
world a more loving place to
live in.
You are naturally a giving,
generous, helpfl person. You
enjoy giving to others.You are
generous with yourself, time,
energy, and possessions.
You are supportive, nurtur­
ig, and considerate.
You spontaneously appreci­
ate, approve, applaud, and
praise others' gifts.
You have the ability to build
people up and make them feel
good about themselves.
You are gentle and kind­
hearted and work toward es­
tablishing harmony and re­
conciliation.
You have an intuitive sense for
what others need, want, and
are feeling.
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You can overidentfy with the
idealzed selfiage of being
lovigand helf. You are ac­
ceptable only if you are loving
and nice.
You can become a compulsive
helper. You give love to gain
attention and approval. You
expect appreciation in retur
for your care.
You can be overprotective and
infantilize others and make
them dependent on you.
You can manipulate others to
like you by giving strokes to
get strokes.
You have difculty expressing
your negative feelings such as
anger and disappointment
and confronting things you
don't like in others.
It's hard for you to be asser­
tive and/ or angry. You can
overdo trying to please others.
You can be out of touch with
your own needs, wants, and
feelings.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You are soiable, fiendly, and
approachable. Relationships
are what life is all about for
you.
You enj oy helping others
grow and supporting them.
You are a good listener. You
listen with your heart and are
nonjudgmental.
Your sense of worth comes
fom yourself. You are filled
with love fom the inside out,
like a wellspring.
If someone is hungry, you
teach tem how to fish so they
can feed themselves.
Stle 2 51
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You get anxous when you are
alone. You may not know how
to relate except through help­
ing. Curiously enough, you
may fear intimacy.
It is difcult to leave others on
their own, to let them grow
up-r to let them fall down.
You are prone to giving ad­
vice. You desire to contol oth­
ers by being helpful. You want
to be important in someone's
life because of all you've done
for them.
Your worth comes from being
needed and from others' ap­
proval. "IamsomebodyifI'
needed. Love comes from
outside in to fill you.
If someone is hungry, you give
them a fsh so they will need
to retur to you to be fed.
52 THE ENEAGRAM
Objective Paradigm
Freedom
Adaptive Cognitve Schema:
You understand freedom to
mean living within the natu­
ral laws and limits of giving
and receiving.
You are interdependent; it is
more blessed to give andto re­
ceive.
You are responsive to the
unfreedom in others. You are
able to set others free.
Virtue: Humility
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
When you experience humil­
ity, you accept your own lim­
its and boundaries. You are
able to say no as well as
y
es.
You are able to take time out
for yourself.
Distorting Paradigm
Codependence
Maladaptve Cognitive Schema:
You believe freedom means
being fee fom needs and be­
ing free fom needing others'
help.
You are codependent; it is
more blessed to give tan to
receive.
You yourself are enslaved by
caring for others to gain self­
worth, and you bind others to
you because they need you.
Passion: Pride
Maladaptive Emotional Schema:
You are proud when you be­
lieve you have unlimited re­
sources to give. You believe
you don't need or don't de­
serve help. You are liable to
bur out.
Stle 2 53
Area of Avoidance: Personal Needs
You have difculty getting in touch with and accepting your
own needs. You are either not aware of them at all or else you
don't want to burden others with your needs. You are afraid
you can't be a helper and be needy at the same time.
Defense Mechanism: Repression
Because your own needs make you anxious, you keep them out
of your awareness by repressing them. You project your needs
onto others (so other people are needy, but you aren't).
How the Distortion of This Style Developed
• You got approval for helping and giving and not asking for
much for yourself.
• You leared how to be sweet, funny, cute, and charming to
get attention and to win afection.
• You received appreciation for your kindnesses.
• You became needed and important to people by helping them.
• You were made to feel guilty and to believe you were selfish if
you expressed your own needs or cared for yourself.
• You discovered that to survive you needed to fgure out what
the other person wanted and then provide for their wants.
• You found that changing yourself to meet others' needs was
preferable to remaining te to yourself and to your own needs.
• You had to provide emotional support for your parents­
sometimes to the point of becoming the parent in your family.
• What you wanted or really needed wasn't empathized with
or inquired about.
• You got rewarded for empathizing with others and making
them feel better.
• You found that movig toward others in afection worked
better for you than movig agaitothers with anger or asser­
tion or movig away fm others by detaching yourself.
54 TH ENNEAGR
• You survived by being dependent on others' approval and by
making yourself needed by them through your service.
• You experienced that pleasing oters worked better tan pleas­
ing yourself.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style
• The joy of receiving without having to ear what you have
been given; the experience of grace.
• Letting others feel good by giving to you.
• A sense of worth based on who you are vs. what you can give.
• The inner freedom that comes from an inner sense of approval
and security vs. seeking approval from the outside.
• The experience of intimacy in a reciprocal relationship.
• Being really known by someone else, including your needs
and vulnerabilities.
• The experience of self-expression vs. self-renunciation or ef­
facemet.
• Freedom in relationships where you don't have to be in con­
trol through helping.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stressful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• You may increase your helping activity, still not get the appre­
ciation you think you deserve, feel victmized and a martyr,
and then reproach others for not caring for you more.
• You might try to get people to feel guilty to manipulate them
to approve of you and appreciate you.
• As you approach burout and exhaustion, you may become
irritable, depressed, resent others' expectations, and wonder
what it's all about.
Stle 2 55
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 8
• You may become vengeful and vindictve (at least in your fan­
tasies) toward those who don't appreciate you enough.
• You may become a persecutor instead of a rescuer.
• You may lose touch with your natural gentleness, become
tough and develop a hard shell to protect your vulnerable self­
esteem.
• You may become bitter, jaded, and distrustful of others.
• You may cease helping others (for the time being) and tell them
they're on their own.
• You may ty to get others to be dependent on you so you can
have power and control over them.
• Instead of asking for help, you may attempt to be more inde­
pendent and refuse to need others. You may avoid not only
your own needs, but any form of weakness.
• You may become less open to oters and to yourself.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 8
• You may get in touch with your real inner power and be genu­
inely fee of your need for others' approval and appreciation.
• You may establish stronger self boundaries, claim your own
autonomy, stand on your own two feet, and not alter yourself
to gain others' afirmaton.
• You may take responsibility for your own needs and leave
others responsible for their needs.
• You may exress yourself honestly and forthrightly instead
of trying to please others and say what you think they want to
hear.
56 THE ENEAGR
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side a/Your Own Style
• You find sources for your self-worth i other places besides
helping.
• You get in touch wit your ow needs, wants, and feelings.
• You give yourself permission to take time for yourself and
take time alone for yourself.
• You develop a consistent self that doesn't alter to meet others'
wishes and needs.
• You can negotiate with others as an equal. You are not only
good at helping others express their needs but you can also
make sure your own needs are represented and heard.
• You can ask others for help directly vs. indirectly trough help­
ing them. You can make straightforward demands on others
for what is rightly due you.
• You exercise self-care. You do what you need to do for your­
self. You deserve to care for yourself, and you deserve to be
cared for.
• You take a realistic accounting of your assets and limitatons
and own both of them. This is what humility means for you.
• You say "no"when you mean "no"and "yes" when you mean
"yes. "
• You let others take care of temselves. You take responsibility
for your needs and let others take rsponsibility for their needs.
• You give because you want to rather than because you need
appreciaton and approval in retur.
• You let yourself receive fom others. You can let others gift
you.
Stle 2 57
A Shif to the High Side of Style 4
• You can say to yourself, II I am speial and so my neds are as
imporant as anyone else'.
• You get in touch with culture and beauty.
• You develop your creative, self-exressive side (vs. being self­
efacing) . You can exress your needs through creativity.
• You get in touch with your own unique identity and feelings
and inner space. You get in touch with your sadness and re­
gret over abandoning yourself in the service of others.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 4
• You may take on a pretentious, artstic image istead of a genu­
ine exressive spirit.
• You may become petulant and demand that others appreciate
you and recognize your specialness.
St
y
le 3
The Effective
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
efcent
successful
get tigs done
motvator
entusiastc
pragmatc
practcal
gol-orete
energetc
manager
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
meanial
getahead
calulatg
ipatent
expeient
workaholi
camelen-like
scemig
popularzer
iage-conscious
Stle 3 59
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h� h�
l1Wl5. f.1h Orsnl
ÖÆ ÏtM
popular
actve
dyami
mult-faceted
organied
sel-assurd
marketer
idustious
team-builder
competet
sel-prmotg
appearances
jet set
success-drve
slck
poltcal
misrprsentg
oveachiever
role-playg
i
g
or feligs
60 TH ENEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You are attracted to and value
efcency, productvity, indus­
triousness, and competence.
You possess a natural organi­
zational ability.
You have the ability to get
tings done.
You make a good salesperson.
You exude confidence and
competence and so people are
willing to buy you and your
product.
You make a good team per­
son. As a team leader, you are
able to organize, r, and mo­
tivate a team. A a team mem­
ber, you can carry out your
own responsibilites.
You are a good energizer. You
have the energy to accomplish
tings and you are able to mo­
tivate others.
Distored Core
Characteristics
You ca overidentfy with the
idealze selfiage of being
successful and productive
such tat your worth depends
on what you do instead of
who you are.
You can become overly efi­
cient, machine-like, and ulta­
programmed.
You may substitute projects
for persons.
You can become a marketg
personalty Your worth de­
peds upon how well you can
sell yourself or how market­
able you are.
You can lose your personal
identity by conforming to the
group image or to te image
of what the group wants you
to be.
You always have to be on the
go. You are unable to slow
down or you're afraid to relax.
You believe that progrss is
ou most iporant prouct.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You are friendly, gregarious,
and sociable.
You have an intuitive sense
for what people expect. You
instnctvely know what im­
age to present to be success­
ful.
You are adaptable. You can
negotiate and compromise to
get tings accomplished.
You are optimistic, enthusias­
tic, and self-confdent.
You have te capacity for hard
work. You have temendous
enthusiasm for projects and
goals.
Style 3 61
Distored Core
Characteristics
Your rlatonships can be utli­
tarian and superficial.
You may sl out and lose your
personal self for te sake of a
public mask.
You can be chameleon-like.
You may betay your inner sl
for the sake of a role and com­
promise.
You may deceive yourself and
others by only portraying a
successful image.
You can become a workaholic.
You exhibit Type A behavior.
You perform and achieve in
order to get approval.
62 TE ENEAGR
Obj ective Paradigm
Hope
Adaptve Cogitve Schema:
You can tust tat all will r
smoothly even when you're
not working. You trust and
have hope the world won't
stop when you do.
You operate in harmony with
natural life processes and
witin the social and natural
laws.
"ire: Trthflness
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
You are truthful to your own
inner self, feelings, and de­
sires.
Your outer image matches
your inner reality.
You are honest and loyal to
others.
Distorting Paradigm
Efciency
Maladaptive Cognitve Schema:
You believe that the smooth
rn g of the organizaton or
operaton or cosmos depends
mainly on your interventions.
You believe you are above the
law. Your own operatng rules
are more efcient tan univer­
sal principles. You may come
to believe that the end justfes
the means.
Passion: Deceit
Maladaptve Emotional Schema:
You lose touch with your real
feelings and wants and
present programmed, plan­
ned feelings istead.
You can deceive yourself and
others into believing that the
image presented is your real
self. You live out of an image
vs. out of real emotonal pref­
erences.
You show others what you
think tey want to see or what
looks successful.
Style 3 63
Area of Avoidance: Failure
The area you are out of touch with and avoid is failure. You want
to present an image of success so you hide anything that may
appear less than successful or you refame happenings in your
life (Le., you say, "There are no failures in life; tere are only
learg experiences").
Defense Mechanism: Identifcation
To keep failure out of your awareness, you identify with what­
ever successful mask or role you are playing at the time. You
identify with your role instead of with yourself.
How the Distorton of This Style Developed
• You were rewarded for your achievements rather than for
yourself.
• Your wort depended on what you did instead of who you
were.
• You were loved for what you produced or for the status you
achieved.
• Playing a role was safer and got you further tan being your­
self.
• Performance and image were rewarded in place of emotional
connections and deep involvements with others.
• You may have been a precoious child who got approval and
attention by being successful at what you did, but you lost
touch with your own feelings and preferences.
• Success, winning, gettng ahead, and looking good were all
emphasized in your family.
• Being the way other people wanted you to be got you what
you wanted. You leared how to perform instead of how to
be.
• Being eficient, organized, goal-oriented, and hard-working
got you ahead of others.
6 THE ENEAGR
• Programming yourself and being adaptable helped you to
survive.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distorton of Your Style
• The security that comes fom knowing your worth is based
on your self instead of your productons.
• Knowing your value doesn't depend on market conditions,
i.e., what others expect of you now.
• The experience of being appreciated for yourself and not for
your achievements.
• Being yourself, expressing yourself, letting others know you
without having to flter yourself through a role or mask.
• Not being afraid of failing; detachment fom success; doing
something because it's worth doing whether it's successful or
not.
• Feeling your own feelings vs. replacing them with perfor­
mance.
• Being the master of your work instead of being mastered by
your work.
• The ability to relax and let others run things or let the uni­
verse run itself.
• Emotional involvement with oters resulting from the meet­
ing of two real selves; genuine intimate relationships.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stressful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• You may work harder, be even more on the go, take on more
projects, shake more hands, put out even more press releases
on yourself and your projects.
• You may become more concered about your image and may
imitate other roles or models instead of expressing yourself.
• You may doubt your self-worth and whether you really do
have anyting to contribute.
Stle 3 65
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 9
• Besides wanting to avoid failure, you may also try to avoid
conflict, both inner conflict and conict with others.
• Instead of dealing wit te pain or te problem, you may avoid
it, procrastnate, distract yourself, or numb yourself.
• You may replace or numb your real feelings wit more work.
• You may give up on your natural eficiency and problem-solv­
ing abilities and say, 1 Wat' te diUerC' or " Wat' te
us, it dos't mater "
• You may doubt yourself instead of trusting your genuine in­
ner responses and desires.
• You may seek solutions from outside yourself vs. from within
your own self and potentals.
• You may tm of your smooth running machine and go to
bed. You go from on to of, from exrtion to exhaustion.
• You may become resigned to how things are rather than try­
ing to change them.
• You may tm to alcohol, drugs, eating, etc. i success and work
don't seem flflling.
• You may become even more neglectful of your real self.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 9
• You slow down to allow your real feelings and preferences to
arise.
• You become more introverted and reflective and let your in­
ner self develop.
• You become more contemplatve and receptve to balance your
activity.
• You can be at one with another i a self-forgetting manner.
• You are more at peace with yourself and less driven.
66 TH ENEAGRAM
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Stle
• You save some energy for the development of your self in­
stead of putting it all into your image or projects.
• You resist changing how you present yourself just to manipu­
late others.
• You are more honest. You discover your real feelings and tell
the tuth about them instead of exhibiting what you think you
should feel in your role. You consider any lying to be a form
of addiction.
• You accept failure as part of your life vs. blaming it on some­
one else or calling it something diferent (a learing experi­
ence, a partial success, etc.).
• You no longer act so mechanically and efciently. You can drop
out of the rat race.
• You can trust that the universe is running smoothly and on
schedule and it can get along without you from time to time.
• You want to manifest and actualize what is real and worth­
while vs. the image that society rewards.
• You discover your lost child and develop the real you. You
can separate yourself fom your image.
• You want to work for society and the common god. You work
for the beneft of others and not just to be successful.
• You allow yourself to get in touch with your physical sensa­
tions (i.e., fatigue).
A Shif to the High Side of Style 6
• You are loyal to yourself and others instead of to your pro­
ducts. /To tie ow sel be te. N
• You are tustworthy as well as competent. This combination
makes a good leader.
• If you believe in something, you stay with it even though it
may not be socially applauded and popular. If it's worth do­
ing, you do it even though you may fail.
Stle 3 67
• You can exress doubts. You no longer have to be competent
about everythig.
• You cooperate with oters vs. compete with them. You trust
that oters can get things done.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 6
• You might become even more obedient and conforming to ex-
teral expectations.
• You could become even more of a company man or woman.
• You might lose yourself in some authority figure or guru.
• You might exerience fear and panic as you relax and come
back to yourself.
Stle 4
The Ori
g
inal
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
sensitve
orgal
itese
makg beautl
ivolved
carg
gotaste
distctve
lelg
qualt
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
speial
upanddow
a101
damatc
exaggeratg
possessive
complaig
prious
high-stg
clgg
Stle 4 69
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moug
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shifg emotons
standofh
elte
overly-seSitve
miundersto
70 TH ENEAGRAM
Positve Core Value
Tendencies
You are highly individual and
value originalty. You put
your personal touch on every­
thing you are involved in.
Like a poet, you have an abil­
ity to make the ordinary ex­
traordinary. You can take
what is plain and make it spe­
cial, like an oyster changes a
grain of sand into a pearl.
You value and appreciate
beaut. You want to make the
world a more beautiful place.
You have a highly developed
aesthetic sense.
You have an innate sense for
quality. You have good taste
and class.
You are creative and imagina­
tve. You favor creative chan­
nels of expression.
You are highly intuitive. You
are i touch with your own
and the collective uncon­
scious.
Distorted Core
Characterstics
You can overidentif with the
ideale selimage of being
speial and uique. You may
become an eccentic caricatur
of originality.
You believe you must be
unique, original, different;
otherwise you are nobody.
Your identity and wort de­
pend on your being speial.
You can become an aesthete
and artifcially cultvate an ar­
tstc sensitvity. You can make
a cult of art and beauty as an
escape fom mundane life.
You can look down on others
for their philistine tastes. You
may consider others to be
tacky.
You believe you are so sensi­
tive and your experience is so
deep that mere words can't ex­
press it.
You often feel misunderstood
because no one experiences
things as deeply as you do.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
Your self boundaries are fluid
so you can empathize with
and understand oters' expe­
riences.
You are highly attuned to the
feelings, moods, tone, and
spirit of the group.
You are sensitive toward the
fragile feeligs of hurt, pain,
loss, and grief.
You have a sense for the
drama and tragedy of life.
You have a strong emotional
resonance and responsiveness
to life.
You are romantic, poetic, nos­
talgic.
You feel fled and whole in
the present.
Style 4 71
Distored Core
Characteristics
Your self boundaries become
too permeable such that you
take on others' feelings and
lose touch with your own feel­
ings and sense of yourself.
You can become over­
whelmed by your feelings and
tose of others and not be able
to detach and step back from
them.
You are prone to melancholy.
You believe your suffering
makes you special.
You can overreact and drama­
tize. Drama creates excite­
ment, dispels boredom, and
helps create a sense of being
special.
Your intense emotions may
fighten others away. "[feL
terefore [ am.
"
You may live in your roman­
tic fantasies istead of in real
life.
You focus on what is missig
i the present; you can be nos­
talgic about paradise lost in
the past and year for fulfll­
ment i te future.
7 THE ENEAGRAM
Objective Paradigm
Orgnality
Adaptive Cognitive Schema:
You are in touch with your
real self and feel whole and
complete. You believe you al­
ready are original.
You feel connected to your­
self, to your roots and to the
ground of your being. You feel
at home.
Virtue: Equanimity
Adaptve Emotional Schema:
Right now you have every­
thing you need to be perfectly
happy. You appreciate your­
self and your unique parcel of
talents.
You exprss a balanced appro­
priate response to inner and
outer stimuli.
Distorting Paradigm
Specialness
Maladaptve Cognitive Schema:
You feel sad beause you have
become separated fom your
essential nature. You feel in­
complete, inauthentic, lack­
ing, and disoriented. You be­
lieve you must do something
to make yourself special.
You feel abandoned, left be­
hind. You see yourself as an
aristocrat in exile, apart fom
te main. If you make your­
self special, ten maybe ot­
ers will remember you and
love you.
Passion: Envy
Maladaptve Emotional Schema:
You envy oters who seem to
have something you're miss­
ing. You evy others' rlaton­
ships and happiness and natu­
ralness.
You have exaggerated, dra­
matc mood swings.
Stle 4 73
Area of Avoidance: Ordinariness
You fear the common and ordinary. If you're ordinary, you're
nobody. The ordinary is boring and you want to be exciting. To
exist you need to stand out from the crowd.
Defense Mechanism: Introjection
Instead of simply grieving, letting go of te past, and getting on
with your life, you carry your sufering and loss around inside
of you. This melancholy is a familiar companion, and it makes
you feel special. Yearg and longing are constantly in the back­
ground of your experience.
How the Distortion of This Style Developed
• You originally felt close to a strong parent (often te father),
ten tat parnt wet away (perhaps because your parent died,
or your parents divorced, or the parent became busy at work,
or a sibling was bor, or te parent withdrew for some other
emotional reason) .
• You felt abandoned and interpreted tat experience to mean
tere was something wrong with you or you weren't god
enough-terwise you wouldn't have been left behind.
• Then you tied to create yourself into a speial person that the
parent would notce and love. You came to believe tat if you
were special, then others would pay attention to you and
wouldn't leave you.
• Your sense of tragedy, loss, and sufering may come from some
original experience of being abandoned.
• Your mood swings may come from the alteration of a parent
being available to you or not or of being kind or cruel. When
the parent was there, you felt go about yourself and up.
We te parent wasn't tere, you felt bad about yourself and
dow.
• You felt expelled fom te garden of love and are now longing
to be readmitted.
74 TE ENEAGRAM
• You received attention if you were sick or sufering; other­
wise you weren't noticed.
• You got attention and your identity fom living at the edges,
at the extremes.
• You came to believe that being ordinary or calm meant being
nobody or being boring.
• You felt alive especially when you made yourself felitensely.
• Living intensely or living in your romantic world made you
feel more special and important than living in the world as it
is.
• You found you could compete successfully in the arena of style
and flair.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style
• The spontaneous expression of your toughts and feelings.
• A balanced, modulated life style.
• Intimacy; being close to oters without fear of rejection of be­
ing abandoned.
• Te sense of fulfllment and satisfacton with who you are and
what you have.
• The sense of being connected by your common humanit be­
ing a part of the whole instead an island.
• Really having what you want vs. yearing for it.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stessful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• You may channel your feelings into your body and become
physically ilinstead of lettng your feelings energe and guide
your actions.
• Your mood swings may widen, with your lows becoming
lower and your highs higher.
• Instead of beig assertve and expressing your anger cleanly,
you may become either passive-aggrssive and sufer, com­
plain and blame more, or you may become aggressive and
vindictve and vengeful.
Stle 4 75
• As you feel worse about yourself or consider it's your fault
that things aren't as you would like them, suicidal thoughts
may preocupy you more. Suicide may have several fctions:
it makes you special; it stops te sufering; it gets even wit
oters; it let them realize what they've done to you and how
much they'll miss you.
• You may move away from people and isolate yourself more.
• You may trow yourself into work and become hyperactive
to avoid dealing with your real issues.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 2
• You may avoid dealing with your own needs and wishes and
attend more to others' needs. Instead of being sensitive to­
ward yourself, you become sensitive toward others.
• You might flee into service instead of healing yourself.
• You may repress your feelings instead of exressing tem di­
rectly.
• You may become more manipuative instead of asking directly
for what you want or taking action to get what you want.
• Your issues around dependence and independence may be­
come exggerated. You might become more possessive or more
aloof.
• You may say, Wat' te use. I' byond repair so 11 hel
oters."
• You could become a sufering servant, a martyr, a sacrificial
victim.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 2
• You can genuinely care for and serve people and get out of
your self-absorption.
• You can accurately empathize with others.
• You can move towards oters as well as away fom them.
76 THE ENEAGRAM
Paradig Shifts You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Stle
• You realize you are already orgial. You don't have to be ec­
centric or make yourself special. You search for and find te
beloved within you vs. outside you.
• You can be spontaneous and let yourself go instead of being
so composed.
• You can find the extraordinary i the ordinary.
• You accept your unique parcel of talents and don't compare
yourself with others. You use your envy to help you locate
and appreciate the values in others and to fnd those values in
yourself.
• You pay attenton to your real feelings vs. the exaggerated
feelings that come fom the excitement of your moods. You
move fom an addiction to romance and fantasy to action in
real life.
• You stay i the here and now and realize that right now you
have all you need to be happy.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 1
• You take an action-oriented, problem-centered approach. You
thik about what you can do about the problem vs. bemoan­
ing your fate. You switch fom a passive victm stance to be­
ing an active agent. You don't just year there, you do some­
thing. Put your show on the road instead of overrehearsing.
• You focus on one feeling at a time. What are you feeling now?
And what do you want to do about it? You stay specifc and
resist generalizations and dramatizations. You stay with the
facts.
• You maintain a sense of proportion, balance, equanimity. You
don't exaggerate your response or heighten the stimuli. You
do exactly what te situation requires.You do your work ob­
jectively.
Stle 4 77
• You can say, 11 a go' or I' go enough as I am' i­
stead of 1 I' not go eough." You reown your own stngt,
goodness, and wholeness.
• You can get in touch with your anger, focus it, and use it to get
what you want instead of tg your anger against your­
self, feeling depressed, and believing you don't deserve or can't
attai what you want. You ask directly for what you want and
state your needs directly.
• You realize that ralstcisn't necessarily philistinistic.
• You can commit yourself to beig in the world even though it
is flawed and unfulflling. You contribute to somethig you
believe in.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 1
• You may throw yourself into work and become hyperactive.
• You may get messianic about your fantasies and become emo­
tonally overinvolved with your idealistic principles. "I must
do my life's work!"
• You can become overly critical of your relationships.
Stle 5
The Wise
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
tought
scolarl
rfetve
tut-sekg
prudent
observant
wt
pity
rasonable
logcal
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
operate alone
misrl
overly-detace
tfelg
ucarg
avoid commitet
cold
heady
postone acton
contemptuous
Stle 5 79
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80 TE ENEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You value and are attracted to
wsdom, knowledge, under­
standing. For you, teiteUe
is a person's highest faculty. '7
ti, terfor I am. "
Your passions are of the mind.
You are a seeker of truth. You
want to discover what really
is.
You are a perceptive, insight­
ful, original thiker.
You have the ability to objec­
tvely and dispassionately ob­
serve.
You are good at abstracting,
synthesizing, and integratng
diferent points of view and
disparate elements.
You are a fair, nonjudgmental
witess.
Distored Core
Characteristics
You can overidentify with te
ideale seU-iage of being
wise and pereptve+You live
too much out of your head
and forget you also have feel­
ings and a body.
You can be overly intellectual.
You may be afraid of and out
of touch with your feelings.
You can become overly ana­
l ytical and skeptical.Your
questioning can interfere with
your actg.
You may be unwilling to con­
sider others' perceptions and
ideas.
You may stay in the observer
positon on the sidelines and
not participate in life.
You may not make a decision
or act untl you have the cert­
tude that you have all the
facts. You want to know ev­
erything before you do any­
thing.
You may be unwilling to dis­
close your own positon.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You are a good listener. You
are gentle, patent, and non­
threatening.
You have the ability to get to
the essence or heart of the
matter. You can peer through
extraneous details to get to
basic structures.
You can communicate in
clean, clear, concise state­
ments about what the issue
really is.
You have an appreciation for
solitude.
You are independent and re­
sourcefl.
You are reserved, respectful,
and nonintrusive.
Stle 5 81
Distorted Core
Characterstics
You may not contibute much
to conversations. You let ot­
ers do all the talking.
You can reduce life to bare dry
bones (X-ray pictures) and
miss the juicy, meaty aspects
of life.
You can be stingy with your
communicatons. You speak in
epigrams or one-liers and are
uwl g to elaborate on what
you've said.
You can be addicted to pri­
vacy. You have a exaggerated
need for space and anonym­
ity.
You can be a loner who wants
to do everything out of your
own resources.
You have overdeveloped te
tendency to move awa
y
fom
people. And it's difficult for
you to move forward with ei­
ter afecton or asserton,
82 TE ENEAGR
Objective Paradigm
Understanding/Transparncy
Adaptive Cogitive Schema:
Your wisdom and under­
standing come fom experi­
ence, participation, and in­
volvement. You know with
your body-feelings-mind.
You share your inner life to
enrich the world. You freely
give what you have feely re­
ceived. You are generous wit
your self, feelings, ideas, and
time.
\rbe: Letachtnent
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
You possess te spirit of non­
attachment. You take what
you need and let te rest go.
You exprss a balanced appro­
priate response to inner and
outer stimuli.
Distorting Paradigm
Intellectualization/
Anonytify
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema:
Your knowledge comes too ex­
clusively through your per­
ceptions and watching and
intellect. You know through
your head or vicarious expe­
rience.
You desire anonymity, to hide
and observe. You want to see
but not be seen.
Passion: Avarice
Maladaptive Emotional Schema:
You are gredy To avoid an in­
ner sense of emptiness or feel
exterally dependent on ot­
ers, you fill yourself and store
up in yourself information
and materials.
You hoard information and
hold onto what you have and
know. You are stingy with
your tme, possessions, ideas,
feelings, and self.
Style 5 83
Area of Avoidance: Emptiness
Since you repress your feelings and minimize your intimate in­
teractions with others, you can experience a sense of inner emp­
tness. You may believe you have noting to ofer. You are search­
ing for the meaning of life. You also fear being emptied by oth­
ers and so withdraw and hold on tght.
Defense Mechanism: Isolation
To avoid feeling empty, you isolate yourself in your head away
fom your feelings and people. You go to your thoughts where
you feel full and comfortable. You also isolate or compartmen­
talize one time or period of your life fom the next.
How the Distortion of This Style Developed
• You may have experienced an early separation from your
mother so an initial bonding with her didn't take place and
you withdrew into yourself.
• You experienced your moter and/ or father (and so the world)
as being depriving and withholding. So you became depriv­
ing, too, both toward others and toward yourself.
• You may have experienced your parents as being too intru­
sive, so you withdrew to protect your boundaries.
• You may have felt overprotected, smothered, or engulfed, so
you retreated into your mind or into books.
• You discovered that the best ofense was a good defense.
• You found that being invisible was a good way to survive. It's
hard to hit a target you can't see.
• You can't be blamed for what you never said. If people don't
know what you're thinking, they can't criticize you.
• You didn't feel listened to, so you didn't speak unless you
were sure people wanted to hear you.
• You were successful with academics and were rewarded for
being studious.
• Your inner world became safer, more secure, more control­
lable and more interestng than the outer world.
8 T ENEAGR
• Te expression of feeligs--specially anger or any exuber­
ant feeligs-were not encouraged in your family.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style
• Te delights of being a sensual, bodily person.
• Te joy and flfillment of giving.
• Te meaning tat comes fom becomg involved and egaged
with life.
• Te deep satisfactions of intimate, mutual personal relation­
ships.
• Te f and excitement of being in te game instead of keep­
ing yourself on te sidelines .
• Te experience of beig a part of (vs. apart fom) humanity;
feeling connected, belonging.
• Te experience of trust and cooperaton instead of tng to
do everything yourself.
• Te energy and aliveness and power of your own emotions
which are your allies, not your enemies.
• Slf-confidence.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stressful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• Instead of moving out to make contact with people, either
through assertion or afection, you may withdraw further and
fall more silent.
• You might feel more inadequate and think you are unable to
influence the situation, so you may do nothig.
• You may repress your feelings more or channel them into fan­
tasies istead of into behavior.
• You may bac up more and move up into your control tower
in your head instead of moving dow to get grounded in your
feelings and body and then moving out into interactions.
• Instead of expressing your needs and negotiating, you take
your ball and bat and go home and refuse to play in the game,
believing that the world is non-negotiable.
Stle 5 85
• You may hold in your anger and become cold-like dry ice.
You may freeze people out instead of engaging with them or
inviting them in.
• You may become contemptuous of others instead of interact­
ing wit them. You may become critcal and cynical as ways
of avoiding contact.
• You may unplug, disconnect, and feel more alienated and iso­
lated.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 7
• You may get more into your head, intellectualize, systematze,
and spiritualize to avoid takig action.
• You may tum to humor to lighten the situation and make it
seem less important to avoid assertig yourself.
• You might let your fear of sufering or getting hurt prompt
you to avoid them by reteating.
• You might get into planning what you'll do the next time in­
stead of doig somethig this time.
• You might look for what is good in te situaton so you won't
have to voice your displeasure at what you don't like.
• You may give up on your ability to analyze and go in depth
into the matter at hand. Instead you may distract yourself wit
superfcial diversions or pursue many interests at once rather
than completing any one. You might become flighty and un­
dependable.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 7
• Your imagination and visualizing capabilities may be en­
hanced.
• You can use your humor to help you move toward people
and be more sociable and friendly.
• You are more spontaneous and use play as a way of taking te
edge of social encouters.
86 T ENEAGRAM
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Stle
• You own your relational powers. You move toward, protect,
enrich, and enlarge others instead of defending yourself fom
oters or holding back fom tem.
• You empathize as well as analyze; you listen with your heart
as well as your head. You apply your knowledge instead of
keeping it to yourself.
• You get in touch with your feelings, especially hurt and anger.
You let them energize and express your real self.
• You allow yourself to be transparent. You come out in the open
instead of trying to be invisible. You let yourself be known
and seen. You challenge and let go of your addiction to isola­
tion and privacy.
• You can successfully challenge your fear of looking foolish
and your fear of making a mistake. You don't let them stop
you from doing what you want. You don't have to know ev­
erything before you choose and act.
• You can come to each person and situation empty, without
preconceptions, categories, and structures. You are open to
what is there and trust your spontaneous response. You trust
your inner perceptions, intuitions, and feelings.
• You stay with your sense of emptiness instead of trying to
avoid it or fill it. You may discover it is really a fertile void, a
container that is always open to the here and now.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 8
• You are in touch with your personal power. You ca change
and infuence the situation. You do have something to ofer.
You are in touch with your inner authority and stand up for
what you believe in. You can say to yourself, /7 am powerfl;
Ican do. N
Stle 5 87
• You can own your assertive powers. You can move agaist.
You can say what you want or don't want. You can ask for
what you need. You balance input with output. You reach out
vs. pull back.
• You consult your body, instincts, heart, and feeligs as well as
your head. You are in touch with your instinctual energy.
• You move "down and out" vs. "up and away": dow into
your feelings and gut reactions and out into action; instead of
upinto your thoughts and awayfrom the situation. You put
yourself out in the world.
• You use your power and assertion to establish and maintain
stronger boundaries. You can set limits instead of retreating.
You stay in the ring and don't jump out at the first sign of pain
or opposition.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 8
• You may become aggressive instead of assertive. You may
become mean and cruel and use your power to grasp, hold on
and remain stingy instead of being magnanimous and gener­
ous.
• You may exaggerate your independence and isolation and
become more anti-soial.
• You may become vindictive with a dose of paranoid thinking.
St
y
le 6
The Lo
y
al
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
cautous
rlable
tadtonal
Go-fearg
rsp
loyal
rponsible
ttwory
ssible
dete
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
dogatc
supg
rgd
uptght
catastphiig
autortara
phobi/counterhobi
td
asume wort
ideisive
Stle 6 89
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prpard
conscetous
stbiig
carg
prudet
honorable
teacous
devi' advoate
autort conscous
war
consrvatve
vgante
re-flower or caleger
anous
statu quo
worer
ucerai
ne for gudees
set conscou
90 TH ENEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You are attracted to and value
loyalt You honor your com­
mitments.
When you give your word,
you keep it. If you say you'll
do something, you do it.
You are faithful to relation­
ships. You make a gracious
host or hostess. You are pro­
tective of tose in your care.
You are loyal and dedicated to
your cause and group.
You are able to foster, support,
and parent others.
You make a devoted follower
or leader. You are responsible
and can be counted on to do
what you're told or what you
promise.
You have a balanced attitude
toward exteral authority and
you tust your own inner au­
thority.
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You can overidentify with the
idealie sel-image of being
loyal and doig you dut.
You can become rigid and in­
flexible. It may be difcult for
you to change or reconsider
your loyalties.
You can polarize reality and
your relationships into friend
or foe, in or out, for me or
against me. While you are ac­
cepting of those inside the
fold, you can become a perse­
cutor of tose outside te fold.
You can become overprotect­
ing, smothering, and restrict­
ing.
You may become authoritar­
ian or anti-authoritarian. Your
faith and devotion may be
given blindly or attached to
te wrong ideal.
You can be either overly fear­
ful and dependent on authori­
ties or' overly challenge them
to test wheter tey deserve
their authority and your alle­
giance.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You have respect for law and
order.
You have an appreciation for
your heritage. You honor your
past.
You are prudent and cautous.
You have a sense of propriety.
You are respectful and rever­
ent towards others.
You are cooperative.
You are semper fdels, always
faitful and constant.
You are semper paratus, al­
ways prepared and ready for
a crisis.
You can be an adventurous
explorer.
Stle 6 91
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You may exaggerate your ap­
preciation for structure and
order into a paranoid police
state.
You can become ultraconser­
vative. You may be fearful of
and uncomfortable with any­
thig new.
You may be overly cautious
and spread fear and alarm.
//B carf or you' get hu. "
You can be stufy, serious, and
obsequious. You restrict your
spontaneity.
You may be eiter excessively
compliant or rebellious.
You can be super-orthodox
and conservative.
You are wary, fearful, and
worrisome. You have nothing
to fear but fear itself.
You may believe you need to
prove yourself by your daring
or your duty.
92 T ENEAGRAM
Objective Paradigm
Faith
Adaptve Cogitve Schema:
You have fait in a balanced
and trustworty world. You
believe the universe is out to
do you goo, not to do you in.
You believe you are already
connected to, trusted by, and
on te side of te ground of
your being. You believe the
force is with you.
You are in touch with your
own essence, spirit, and au­
tority and wit oters' genu­
ine selves which puts you at
ease.
Vre: Courage
Adaptve Emotonal Schema:
Your stngt comes fom be­
ing in harmony with your in­
ner self and with te objectve
laws of te universe.
You are naturally courageous
when you need to be. You
spontaneously respond well
i crises.
Distortng Paradigm
Doubt/Doga
Maladaptve Cognitve Schema:
You perceive the world as
alie, hostle, thrateing, and
dangerous, and this gives rise
to fear and suspicion in you.
You believe te force is against
you, or at least is testng you
to see whether you'll be fait­
f and acceptable. You auto­
matically give your allegiance
to autority or you doubt au­
thority and yourself.
You are in touch with your
own and others' inner judge
and critic which makes you
nervous and fearfl.
Passion: Fear
Maladaptve Emotonal Schema:
Fear puts you out of touch
wit your ral self and the ral
world and so you need to cre­
ate a substtute stength and
bravado.
You may become counter­
phobi by recklessly pushing
through your fears and
forcing yourself to do what
You are motivated by your
heart and what you geuinely
believe in.
Area of Avoidance: Deviance
Stle 6 93
you're afraid of, or phobi by
dying a thousand deaths
through your cowardice ad
worry.
You are driven by fear and
doubt.
If you are fearful, you seek to be loyal and obedient, you con­
sider any disobedience, rebelliousness, or following your own
inner authority to be deviant, unlawful, and unacceptable.
If you are counter-fearful, you become rebellious and seek to
challenge, evade, or escape from authority.
Defense Mechanism: Projection
You proect onto others your own sense of disobedience and re­
bellion. Oer pple ar tying to get away with things, and
you need to monitor their actvites and bring tem in line wit
your autority's principles, or oters are tying to trip you up
and tap you.
How the Distortion of This Stle Developed
• Your parents may have been autoritarian. They laid down
te rules and you had to follow tem.
• You had to please your parents and do what you were told vs.
paying attenton to what you wanted or tought or felt.
• Your parents may have been overly protective. They had a
fearful atttude toward life which you picked up.
• You leared that the world was a dangerous place to be
guarded against.
• There may have been some family secret that needed to be
kept inside te family. S boundaries were established betwee
94 T ENEAGR
inside and outside. Familial bonds and loyalty arose against
te outside world.
• You found security in being close to autority.
• You decided to rebel against authority as a way to survive
sice te people who were authorities in your life abused their
authority and couldn't be tusted.
• You came to believe tat if you kept te law, the law would
keep you.
• You got approval for being responsible, obedient, and hard­
working.
• You had to assume te role of an adult before you were ready.
You became the family caretaker.
• You felt incompetent because you weren't ready for this adult
role and so you began to doubt yourself.
• Or you exerienced a parent as being incompetent, and so
you began to doubt authority.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style
• A sense of inner security.
• Being able to do what you want vs. what you ought.

A relaxd atttude toward yourself, others, life, and a higher
power.
• A gracious approach to life.
• Being carefee.
• Being inner-directed instead of outer-directed.
• Trust in yourself and others.
• The feedom of the children of God: freedom fom the law vs.
enslavement and idolaty toward it; the law is for you and not
vice versa.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stessful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• You may become more indecisive and worrisome.
• As you become more fearful, you may worry more about
Style 6 95
wheter you're brave enough to do what is required of you.
You may believe you need to prove yourself even more.
• You may become mor suspicious of others.
• You might become more dogmatc and set in your beliefs and
become more intolerant of oter points of view.
• You might trust your inner authority less.
• You may act out agaist autority, becoming more rebellious
and belligerent.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 3
• Instead of relaxing, you may speed up and become busier.
• Instead of dealing wit your inner issues, you might distract
yourself with exteral matters and take on more projects.
• Not only might you r around i circles in your head by
obsessing and worrying, but you may engage your gears and
literally r around in circles in frantc actvity to avoid deal­
ing with your inner issues or to prove yourself and gain
authority's or oters' approval.
• You may ty to substitute some exteral role for te inner se­
curity you're really seeking.
• You may start to deceive yourself and others about who you
really are, what you really think and feel, and what you really
want.
• You may want to avoid any semblance of rebellion or inde­
pendent thought. And you may also begin to avoid any form
of failure. As a result, your inner and outer feedom will be­
come less and less.
• You may try to please authority and win them over by work­
ing hard, being faithful, doing what you're told, playing your
part, etc.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 3
• You get in touch with your capacity to take action. You feel
better when you are in acton.
• You connect with your own competence and mastery to be­
come proactive vs. reactive.
96 T ENAGR
• You can channel your energy into goals and concrete plans
instead of into fears and worst-case scearios. You fous on
what you can do vs. on what might go wrong.
Paradig Shif You May Experence
Under Relaxed Conditons
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Stle
• You tust your own instincts, viewpoints and inner authority.
You become more autonomous vs. being dependent on ot­
ers' opinions, especially authority's prnouncements. You ar
secure witin yourself instead of seeking security fom out­
side yourself. You develop a ralistc belief in yourself and
your abilites. You can afr yourself.
• You develop the courage to be. You accept responsibility for
your choices and act bravely. You trst your inner compass
and desirs. You believe that what you really want is what
God wants for you.
• You tust tat oters arn't ting to get away with something.
You believe they're tying to do te best tey can. You don't
project hostle intentons onto others.
• You recognize tat rules ar there for your benefit. You don't
have to be a slave to tem. You now follow te spirit of the
law vs. the letter.
• You ralize you are already a part of the operaton or organi­
zaton. You a alrady in the game. S you don't have to prove
yourself to get in, and you don't have to worry about being
thrown out.
• You can consider te positve outcomes as well as the nega­
tve ones. Your old inclinaton was to consider what could go
wrong and that stopped you fom acting. You were your own
worst enemy. Now you can thi of what might go right to
motivate yourself to act.
• You tust your istnctual ability to prtect and preserve your­
self and those you love. You ralize that nothing can harm
your essence. You can challenge your fears-are they realistc
or mythical?
Stle 6 97
A Shif to the High Side of Style 9
• You practce self-soting and calming. You can say to your­
sl, I I am ste' vs. I I am upset."
• You can b stll and quiet. You realize te solution lies witin
you. You calm your waters and let the solution surface.
• Instead of makg mountains out of molehills, you make mole­
hills out of moutains. You can say, Wat' te big deal' in­
stead of making a big deal out of everything.
• You have the rla:d mind set, I S what i I do tis or ti
tat' vs. the fearful and indecisive mind set of I Wat i I do
tis or tat?"You can go wit te flow and tust the process.
• You can relax and float and let te stam support you. You
ralize tat struggling is not te solution.
• You can find te tuth in all sides of an issue instead of polar­
izing te issue and making one side all true and te other side
all false.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 9
• You may become even more doubtful, ruminating, and inde­
cisive.
• You may find yourself prorastinating and doig unimpor­
tant tings to distract yourself fom doing what you rally
need to do. You may find it hard to prioritze and discer what
you rally want.
• You may numb yourself out or put yourself into some routne
to avoid anxety-provoking situations.
St
y
le 7
The Jo
y
ful
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
lghteare
optistc
fendly
etusiastc
catve
visionar
ggarous
iagatve
joyf
merakg
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
superfcial
louacous
narcssistc
cosmic
spacey
distacted
idulget
lght-heade
ipulsive
ir esponsible
Stle 7 9
3Yew
¥W
9.

W ¥W
1be1¬I ". z.¤eum
Pm Ww
1.1bEf
Y¢ W ËW
¯W5. 4. Ãom
næ ~æ
extoverte
exctable
appriatve
f-lovg
fny
eteraiig
lvely
plannig
brght
spontaneous
iconsistet
unlable
daydreamer
spotght-gabbig
sybartc
satterd
unalst
escapist
naive
dabbler
10 T ENEAGR
Positve Cor Value
Tendencies
For you te purpose of life is
to enjoy it. You value joy.
Te i a deligt, sparkle, and
joie de viv about you.
You are a celebrator of life.
You have a gat appreciaton
for life. Everything is rcog­
nized as g.
You have a childlike rspon­
siveness to the world. You are
in touch with the immediacy
of thigs.
You are an advocate of
growth, hope, and resurrec­
tionnow.
You have an optmistic out­
look on life. You can fd te
silver lining in black clouds.
" prsoners looked out
from prison bars; one sa w
mud te ote sw star. "
Distored Core
Characteristcs
You can overidet wit te
ideale s-iage of being
oky You can overo te plea­
sure principle and become
overly attached to pleasur.
You can become addicted to
highs.
You may not be willing to en­
dure hard labor to get what
you want.
You may be uwilling to fol­
low up your initial enthusi­
asm wit te boring work nec­
essary to realize the project.
Te sed sprang up immedi­
ately but withered away be­
cause it didn't put down rot.
You may trust only excite­
ment, frworks, consolaton,
and joy, and forget tat gwt
also takes place in cold, dark
silence.
Your computer is set o nice
and nothing is allowed in that
is not nice. You can be a com­
pulsive optimist seeing the
world through rose-colored
glasses.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You have a creatve imagina­
ton and are a wellspring of
new ideas.
You are lively, vivacious, and
colorful.
You are fiendly and gregari­
ous and are good at cheering
people up.
You are a natural entertainer
and storyteller.
You are a visionary, a long­
range plan er.
You can generate edless pos­
sibilites. You are an intuitve
person.
Style 7 101
Distorted Core
Characteristics
You may confuse your map
and plan with reality and
acton.
You may be unwilling to look
at te dark side of pain and
sufering.
Your relationships may re­
main superfcial. "Hale fl ow
weUmet. "
You may live your stories in­
stead of your life.
You ca get into head trips in­
stead of doig serious work.
You can become a dilettante
and jump fom one interest to
another without digesting
anytg toroughly or with­
out completg any proect.
102 TE ENEAGRAM
Objective Paradigm
Work
Adaptve Cognitive Schema:
When you are living in touch
with your real self, then you
are also living in accordance
with the cosmic plan or the
divine scheme of tings. You
understand that each person
has a part to play in te evo­
lution of humankind.
Work can be play when you
do what you love doing.
Vrtue: Sobriet
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
Sobriety means living in the
present and living a balanced
life, taking in only as much as
you need and expending only
as much energy as is called for.
Distorting Paradigm
Pleasur/Planning
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema:
When you lose touch with
your real self and live out of
your personality, then you are
not participating in the larger
scheme of things. You substi­
tute your own plans and
search for pleasure in place of
deeper satisfactons.
If it isn't fun, it isn't worth
doing and you don't stay with
it for long.
Passion: Glutony
Maladaptive Emotional Schema:
Gluttony means overindul­
gence, planning future fun­
flled events, and spicing up
life with excitement and fluf.
Stle 7 103
Area of Avoidance: Pain and Suferng
Since you want to appear happy and okay, you are uncomfort­
able with and fnd unacceptable any form of pain. You may ei­
ther b out of touch with the pain in your life, or you are aware
of it but are unwilling to show it to others since your job is to
cheer people up, not weigh them down with your problems.
Defense Mechanism: Sublimation
To keep pain out of your awareness, you sublimate it and tum it
into something interesting or good. You automatically look for
the good in everything. S you might celebrate the new life of a
deceased loved one rather than mour their loss.
How the Distorion of This Style Developed
• You found that a cheerful, pleasant disposition eared ap­
proval from others and got you what you needed.
• You leared tat your smiles elicited smiles from oters.
• You were rewarded for cheering up the family, not complain­
ing, and for keeping tings light.
• Entertaining others and being the life of te party got you at­
tenton.
• People may have listened to your stories more than to your
real self, or they were more interested in your stories than in
your hurt or pain.
• You got more enjoyment from planning projects than from
executing them.
• Your childhood was basically a happy one, or at least you
tured it into being happy or you remember it as being happy.
• Even if you experienced adversity in your childhood, you
leared to laugh about it to survive.
• You may have been shielded from hurt and pain or didn't
experience much of either. And so you didn't lear how to
deal wit them�xcept by avoiding them.
10 T ENEAGR
• You may have leared that what you don't see won't hurt
you.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distorton of Your Style
• A sense of inner stengt and satsfaction that comes fom
working hard at something and accomplishing it.
• A deep character that is etched by perseverance and sufering
and endurance.
• Expriencing te full range of emotions, te negative as well
as te positve.
• Meetng your Shadow and discovering its riches.

The tranquility of solitude, silece, and inner stllness.
• The experience of growt in desolaton.
• Not being afaid of the dark.
• Thorougly understanding someting.
• Deep interpersonal relationships based on sharing all of your­
self, not just the bright or light sides.
Paradig Shifts You May Experience
Under Stessful Conditons
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Ow Style
• You may get more into your head. You may intellectualize,
spiritualize, and sublimate mor.
• You may get mor into planning and furter away fom do­
ing. You may avoid doing hard work in favor of making f­
ture plans.
• You might try to avoid te prset pain by imagining future
or past pleasures.
• You may attempt to lighten things up even more, laugh of
the situaton, and not take yourself seriously.
• You may continue attemptng to outn your fears by looking
for mor parades to lead or join.
Stle 7 105
A Shif to the Low Side of Stle 1
• You may become angry and resentful that your life is not as
enjoyable as you would like it to be. Your joyful expectations
are not being met.
• You may express your anger through sarcastic wit or critcal
remarks or trough resentment and believing tat life isn't
fair-or at least not f enough.
• You may complain and blame others for raining on your pa­
rade, spoiling your f, popping your balloons. Oers are
keeping you from realizing all your fantastc schemes.
• You may give up on your natural appreciation for life and
your spontaneous ability to find good in everything and be­
gin to become critcal and caustic toward yourself and others.
You begin to notice what is missing instead of what is tere.
• If you get too critical or too disappointed, you may become
depressed.
• You may swing fom being optimistic to being pessimistic,
but probably not for long.
• You may give up trying to lok okay. You may stop smiling.
• You may avoid and deny your anger as well as avoiding pain
and suffering.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 1
• You can become more disciplined and focused and follow
through on your plans and projects, bringing them to comple­
ton.
• Instead of doing what is pleasurable, you can be motivated
by what is te right thing to do or what is called for.
• You take a more objective delineated point of view in place of
a fantastc impressionistc vision.
• You attend to details and sweat te small stuf vs. going cos­
mic with global impressions.
106 TE ENEAGR
Paradigm Shf You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Style
• You can be present to all tat is there: the god and the bad,
the pleasurable adthe painful, the light and the dark, the yin
andthe yang. Truth involves honoring both polarites.
• You can b sober. You aren't afraid to take yourself and the
situaton seriously. Even if you do get heavy, you know you
won't crash.
• You trust tat if you let go of your wings and balloons, you
won't fall into te tomb. And even if you do, you believe that
desolation and darkness can be growt-producing.
• You do what is worth doig. You realize happiness is conti­
gent upon your doing your share of social and personal work.
• You can stay in the here and now and resist projecting your­
self into the future. You do what you're doing instead of mak­
ing future plans.
• You believe tat your insights are important enough to work
towards actualizing tem.
• You stay with the pain instead of trying to avoid it, ratonalize
it, sublimate it, etc.
• Instead of making light of a situation, you can express your
anger or be assertive.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 5
• You can say to yourself, 11 am wise ad perceptve' vs. /' am
a lghtweight or scaterbraie. "
• You can channel your energies and stay foused instead of
scattering and getting distracted.
• You stay with what you're doing and thoroughly investigate
it until you really understand it.
• You chew and digest instead of gulping down indisctely.
• You put your creative bursts and intuitions into some system
and structure. You are thorough and methodical. This helps
you take the next step of action.
Stle 7 107
• You lear to appreciate silence and aloneness.
• You can be still and observant. You can take the position of
the fair witess, te detached observer.
• You watch vs. react. You develop your interiority.
• You practice detachment. You can move back a little fom
what's going on instead of losing yourself in what's happen­
ing.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 5
• You may withdraw and try to disappear.
• You may compound your gluttonous life style with being ava­
ricious and desirous of accumulating even more possessions
and experiences.
• You migt become more unhinged fom reality and more glued
to your fantasies and ideas.
Stle 8
The Powerful
Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style
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stng
dit
asrve
owpeson
autonomous
iuetal
hardworkg
high eerg
confdet
Negative Descriptors of Your Style
vegef
ufe
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possessive
overwhelg
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loud
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stong-wile
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take lead
fai
just
honorable
fearless
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comptet
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isesitve
non-lsteg
caloue
tough
domierg
belgert
ditatoral
ci-on-shouder
conntve
110 TE ENEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You are attracted to and ap­
preciate power You know
how to get it, keep it, and use
it.
You use your influence to
bring about good.
You make a strong leader like
a matiarch or a patriarch.
You are self-confident, self­
assured and have a healthy
self-image.
You are independent and au­
tonomous. You value being
your own person.
You can be magnanimous and
use your personal power to
contibute to and build up the
community.
You have the ability to inspire
others to accomplish great
things.
You are direct, straightfor­
ward, honest, and tell it like it
is.
Distorted Core
Characteristic
You can overidentfy wit the
idealze selfiage of being
powerful and capable. You
can become addicted to power
and control and rely on it to
manipulate others.
You use your power to protect
yoursel instead of to help ot­
ers.
You can become a dictator,
bully, godfater or godmoter.
Your presence can be over­
bearing and intimidatng.
You can exhibit an exagger­
ated independence and take
pride in doing your own
thing.
You can be self-aggrandizing
and use your power against
the comunity.
You can corce others by mak­
ing them an ofer they can't
refuse. You influence by in­
timidation.
You can be overly blunt and
crude.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You can be a charismatic and
inspirig person.
You are able to cut through
phoniness and fuf to get to
the real issue. You believe in
"no bullshit."
You are energized by chal­
lenge. You can take charge in
difcult situations.
You are assertive and know
how to get what you want.
You have a concer for te un­
derdog and will fight on his/
her behalf.
You do everg wit gusto,
entusiasm, and great energy.
Stle 8 111
Distorted Core
Characteristic
You can be insensitve to ot­
ers' defenses and vulnerabili­
tes i you unmasking of teir
pretensions.
You may run roughshod over
oters or alieate them by tak­
ing over.
You can be aggressive. You get
heard because you yell the
loudest.
You are often the topdog and
can oppress others.
You can intimidate and mes­
merize others into following
you.
You can be driven and use up
people and things in your
path.
112 TE ENEAGR
Objective Paradigm
Justice
Adaptve Cogitve Schema:
You have an appreciation for
justice and equity. You believe
in the equal distribution of
power.
You trust the fairess of the
universe. You believe that
what goes around, comes
around.

Vegeanc is mie,
sait te Lord "
Vre: Innocence
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
You possess a childlike inno­
cence. You are capable of ex­
periencing each moment fsh
witout expectations and pre­
judgments.
Innocence means not harm­
ing. You have the attitude,
HWy should I want to har
anyone and why would any­
one want to har me?"
You are satisfed with life as it
is.
Distortng Paradigm
Vindication
Maladaptve Cognitve Schema:
You believe in "an eye for an
eye and a tooth for a tooth."
Justice becomes vengeance,
getting even to maintain the
balance of power.
You judge that what is hap­
penig isn't fair. S you need
to create your own truth and
take justice into your own
hands. " Vengeance is mine,
sait te Eight. "
Passion: Lust
Maladaptve Emotional Schema:
You come to each situation
jaded, expecting trouble, or to
be taken advantage of. You are
therefore ready for a fight.
You have experienced aggres­
sion towards you in the past.
So you want to get them be­
fore they get you.
You are lustful, meaning you
do everyting to excess. You
can be possessive, grabby, and
demanding.
Style S 113
Area of Avoidance: Weakness
Since you want to appear strong, you must avoid any semblance
of weakness. You are out of touch with your feminine side. You
avoid tenderess, compassion, kindness, etc. as unbeftting a
powerful person.
Defense Mechanism: Denial
To prevent weakness from showing up in your awareness or
persona, you deny any presence of it. '7 don't hu, I' not nce,
I' not setmetal I don't ne you, "etc.
How the Distortion of This Style Developed
• You may have been abused as a child and so became tough
and aggressive in order to protect yourself.
• You may have witessed considerable fghting and aggres­
sion in your family.
• You had to grow up fast and be hard to take care of yourself.
• You leared that when you challenged others or bullied them,
you got your way.
• You were istructed to fght back and not put up with insults
or injustices.
• You may have leared that in your family you don't get mad,
you get even.
• You may have felt yourself to be a victim of injustice, so you
grew up blaming the world.
• You leared never to give a sucker an even break.
• You leared never to show weakness if you wanted to sur­
vive.
• Since the world seemed to be arbitrary or unjust, you leared
to make and follow your own rules.
• You realized you had a lot of energy and forcefulness. You
had the ability to take charge, and you enjoyed being power­
ful.
• If a situation seemed threatening or falling apart, you felt more
secure when you took control.
114 THE ENEAGR
What You Miss as a Result of the Distorion of Your Style
• Being comforted by others and being touched by their care.
• Having someone speak up for you.
• Experiencing your own tenderess and softess and gentle­
ness.
• Forgiveness and compassion.
• Being able to live with weakness instead of always having to
deny it.
• Te experience of reverence and respect for creatures instead
of using them up.
• Letting your guard down and being vulnerable.
• Te capacity to relax, to be present.
• Experiencing others' goodness and goodwill instead of an­
ticipating their afronts.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stressful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side of Your Own Style
• You might try to take care of yourself by becoming more ag­
gressive and tough. You send your anger out frst to cover the
hurt or sadness or disappointment you may really be feeling.
• You may become more intense, grabby, lustful, and posses­
sive to fill up feeling empty inside.
• You may attempt to take more control and assume mor power
to feel secure.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 5
• You may give up on your own power and withdraw. You may
move away fom people instead of toward tem.
• You may become quiet and want to be by yourself. You may
isolate yourself fom oters.
• You may tur your power against yourself and beat up on
yourself for your perceived weaknesses and injustices.
• Instead of exploding, you implode your energy and suck it
inside yourself.
Stle 8 115
• As a result of imploding, you might experience exaggerated
feelings of deadness and emptiness.
• You may drive yourself into a black hole. Then you may ei­
ter become suicidal or become more desperate in your at­
tempts to avoid this inner emptiness through living intensely.
• You may break contact with others vs. making contact.
• You won't let others support you or comort you.
• You may exaggerate being indeendet and on your own. You
become te Lone Ranger or Rangerette.
• You might become overly heady and rational and use your
intellect to defend yourself, blame others, or plot revenge.
• You may feel inadequate and unable to influence the situa­
tion.
• You may begin to distrust your instincts.
• You might move toward thinking and observing instead of
doing.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 5
• You think before you act. You can think it out before you im­
pulsively act it out.
• You can think clearly and dispassionately vs. with preudiced
preconceptions and caricatures.
• You connect your head and gut and heart and are genuinely
present, spontaneous and compassionate vs. being interaly
disconnected and then feelig isolated, violent, or punishing.
• You appreciate and pursue knowledge for its own sake vs. as
a way of having power over others.
116 T ENEAGRAM
Paradigm Shifs You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Style
• You let others speak up for you instead of always speaking up
for tem.
• You can share your vulnerable underside with others. You let
tem know your scared little kid. You let others support you.

You move towards iterdepedece in place of your extreme
self-sufciency and fear of dependence.
• You trust others' motivations instead of challenging them and
atemptg to uask their hidden motvatons and itetons.
• You respect others' rights as much as you demand respect for
your own.
• You speak the truth in a way that others can take it in instead
of shoving it down teir throat.
• You assume an attitude of in oence: why would anyone want
to hurt you? And why would you want to hurt anyone?
• You come to each moment and situation fesh, without expec­
taton of being hurt or taken advantage of and without memo­
ries of past wrongs and insults. You come wit hands open
vs. fsts clenched.
• You trust that justice and fairess will come about without
your interventon or having to get even. You realize it is not
solely up to you to bring about justce and equity.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 2
• You can be compassionate toward yourself and others. You
temper your justice with mercy.
• You can say, 11 am helf; I am gvig." You are giving in­
stead of grabby.
• You use your power to build others up and empower them
vs. tearing them down.
• You are empathic and sensitive toward your own needs and
towards others' needs and feelings.
• You are in touch wit your gentle side and tenderess. There
Stle 8 117
is nothing stronger than true gentleness and nothing gentler
tan tue stgth. You become soft vs. hard-teder vs. tough.
• You move towar oters vs. agaist them. You resist moving
toward violence or vengeance.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 2
• You may engage in enabling behavior to make people depen­
dent on you so they will afrm your strengt.
• You may manipulate or intmidate others ito needing your
services i the manner of the Mafia to buttess your own posi­
tion.
• You use your Godfather or Godmother position for your own
aggrandizement vs. for the good of the community.
Stle 9
The Peaceful
Person
Positve Descriptors of Your Style
patet
unostentatus
dilomatc
lowkey
rassurg
moest
objectve
unappable
setle
comforable
Negatve Descriptors of Your Style
put tigs of
conuet
ideiive
loweerg
distactble
squelc anger
borg
teious
uncommte
negle
Stle 9 119
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dow to ear
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overly adaptable
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120 THE ENEAGRAM
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You value peace which is the
tranquility of order.
You have an intuitive sense
and appreciation for har­
mony, for when things ft to­
gether.
You possess diplomacy. You
are able to reconcile opposing
forces and can see both sides
of an issue.
You have an allowing, lais ez­
faire approach to life which
ecourages people and events
to unfold in their own way
and at their own pace.
You are easygoing and give
others feedom and space and
let them take the lead.
Distored Core
Characteristics
You can overidentfy wit the
idealie selfiage of being
beig setled and avoid any
kid of conflict.
You can overdo agreement.
You experience ambivalence
about whether to agree or dis­
agree, to conform or not con­
form.
You may have dificulty tak­
ing a position or choosing
sides. You can be indecisive or
put of making any decision.
You can assume a passive
stance towards life and take
the path of least resistance.
You can be unassertive and
unwilling to intervee on your
own behalf. You let things go
too long unattended.
You can get caught in the di­
lemma of fearing to express
yourself lest you displease
oters ad risk teir abandon­
ing you or of feeling resentful
because you abandoned your­
self and didn't get your needs
met.
Positive Core Value
Tendencies
You have a calming, reassur­
ing presence.
You are a non-judgmental, ac­
ceptng, impartal, and open
listener.
You can be aware of and at­
tentive to the nuances of each
moment.
You can be in tune with your
personal preferences and feel­
ings.
You have a sense of purpose.
You are a salt of the earth,
down to earth, modest, unas­
sumng person. You are even­
tempered and have no need to
show of.
Stle 9 121
Distorted Core
Characteristcs
You may fiddle while Rome
bums and refuse to recognize
real problems.
You identify so much with
oters' positions that you may
lose touch with or not exress
your own opinions and pref­
erences.
You have a tendency to gen­
eralize, homogenize, and not
recognize diferences.
You pay attention to others'
feelings but not your own.
You can repress and numb out
your anger and exress it in a
passive-aggressive manner.
You sometimes believe you
don't matter or make a difer­
ence.
You may lack a sense of self­
worth and so don't take care
of yourself physically, emo­
tonally, soially, intellectually,
or spiritually.
122 THE ENEAGRAM
Obj ective Paradigm
Love
Adaptive Cognitive Schema:
You have a sense that you are
loved, that you are lovable,
and that you are capable of
loving.
You are genuinely content
with yourself and with reality
as it is.
Virtue: Action
Adaptive Emotional Schema:
Love wants to pass itself on
through acton. Gratitude for
being loved leads to sponta­
neous action towards the wel­
fare of te beloved. Acton is
natural to the real self and
works for the development of
that self.
When you are in touch wit
your ral self, you know what
you need and wat and you
know what you need to do to
get what you want.
The integraton of your feel­
ings and thoughts motivate
and focus your activity.
Distorting Paradigm
Resigation
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema:
You feel deprived of love and
not paid attention to, so you
resign yourself, don't let your­
self feel or want much, don't
let tings get to you, and don't
make a big deal out of any­
thing.
You can resign yourself to
accepting whatever comes
your way.
Passion: Indolence
Maladaptive Emotional Schema:
Self-doubt and resignation
lead to indolence or laziness
regarding the growth of one­
self and others. Procrastina­
tion, indecision, confusion,
and inaction arise from the
false personality and blok ac­
tion.
When you are inattentive to
and neglectful of yourself, you
don't know what you need,
and so you don't act.
You can distract yourself and
difse your activity when it
comes to doing something re­
ally important to you.
Style 9 123
Area of Avoidance: Confct
Because you want to be settled, you avoid confict or anything
tat would upset you. You pull for agreement and blur difer­
ences. You pour oil on troubled waters. You don't hear the
squeaks since you want everything to go smoothly.
Defense Mechanism: Narotczaton
To avoid conflict you numb your feelings, wants, and prefer­
ences. You make everything te same and highlight noting. You
make molehills out of mountains.
How the Distortion of This Style Developed
• You weren't paid attention to enough when you were grow­
ing up. You felt neglected and then you neglected yourself.
• Instead of coming to the painful ackowledgement that you
weren't loved or cared for or that you apparently didn't mat­
ter, you took a less painful stance of resignation by saying, "I
don't matter Wat' te difernce. Wy make a big deaJ
out of anytig. Lie is shor. "
• You ted down your energy, lowered your expectatons, and
became resigned for the duration.
• You may have grown up in the background, felt overlooked,
or overshadowed by your siblings.
• You weren't listened to and so you leared not to listen to
yourself. You leared not to pay attention to yourself, your
needs, your preferences and wants, your feelings.
• You were caught in the dilemma of confontng oters and
being abandoned or of conforming to oters and being con­
trolled.
• S you took bot sides instead of choosing sides. You deve­
loped indecision as a conflict-resolution method.
• You experienced a conflict between being good or bad, con­
formist or non-conformist, agreeing or disagreeing.
• Your soluton was not to decide. You leared to postpone, to
wait and see, to allow events to take teir own course.
124 THE ENEAGRAM

You leared to comfort yourself by setting up a routine and
going on automatc pilot.
• Your attempts to express your anger did not meet with suc­
cess, so you repressed it.
What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style
• A sense of accomplishment i gettng things done.
• A sense of competency and self efcacy: 1 ca do it."
• Feeling loved and card for and in tm being loving and car-
ing .
• A sense of self-worth: "1 raly do matter"
• A sense of aliveness and vitality.
• The excitement and growt that arise out of conflict.
• A sense of purpose and destiny; you have a place in and a
part to play in the unfolding of the universe.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Stressful Conditions
A Shif to the Low Side o/Your Own Style
• You might say, Wat's te use?' and become more resigned,
more shut down.
• You may avoid confontation and conflict.
• You may fall asleep, not notice, and not listen instead of deal­
ig with the problem.
• You may become obstinate and unyielding.
• You might avoid even more not taking a positon or stating
your case.
• Instead of gettng organized, you might become more disor­
ganized and therefore unable to act.
• You may procrastnate, put of, and delay more.
• You may become more dependent on others to take care of
you.

You may become overly preoccupied with details and not fn­
ish what really needs to get done.
Stle 9 125
• You might distact yourself by pursuig unimportant, incon­
sequental matters instead of doing what you need to do.
• You may find yourself sleeping more or daydreaming more.
A Shif to the Low Side of Style 6
• You may become worrisome, fearful, ruminatve.
• You may begin to say,

Wat if?' instead of your usual

S
what i?'
• You may begin making moutains out of molehills.
• You may doubt yourself and your own inner authority and
avoid expressing your needs and your position.
• You might begin seeking the approval and afrmaton and
protecton of some outside autority.
• You may become overly responsible and dutiful.
• You could become scrupulous and be overly concered about
keeping te rules and schedule.
• You may stop being relaxed and become rigid and obsessive.
A Shif to the High Side of Style 6
• You can fnd in yourself the courage to be somebody and take
a stand and state your case.
• You can push through your fears of being rejected or ignored,
discover what you really want to do and act on those per­
sonal desires and preferences.
Paradigm Shifts You May Experience
Under Relaxed Conditions
A Shif to the High Side of Your Own Style
• You can focus and diferentate instead of distracting yourself
and becoming confluent.
• You are prompt. You do it now instead of procrastnating.
• You can be assertve. You state your own positon, feeling, or
preference. You are in touch with your anger and use it to tell
you what you want and to enable you to get what you reall
y
need.
126 TE ENEAGR
• You trust your inner authority and resist turing to gurus or
other exteral sources for energy and solutions.
• You are mindful of when you have been loved and touched
and cared for. You allow your natural grattude to lead you to
acton.
• You are awake to your real self, feelings, and wants. You resist
falling asleep and neglectng yourself. You practice mindful­
ness. You remember yourself vs. beig in a tance and forget­
ting who you ar and what you want.
• You take better care of your inner spiritual well-being and your
outer physical well-being.
• You don't substitute inconsequentials and nonessentials for
what you rally need and want.
A Shif to the High Side of Stle 3
• You can get focused and goal-oriented. You determine what
you want and go get it in a step-by-step manner.
• You become organized and structured fom witin so you
don't have to rely on exteral pressure to get you moving.
• You aren't just there, you do something. You take acton to
afect the world. You are in touch with your efcacious self, in
touch with the actve agent in you istead of being a passive
recipient.
• You generate your own energy vs. draining of others' energy.
• You think of yourself as beig professional, efcient, and com­
petent.
• You can say to yourself: "I am succesf"
• You assume te attude that you are important, you do mat­
ter and make a diference instead of your usual " It don't
mater' or I don't mater "
A Shif to the Low Side of Stle 3
• You may engage in busy work as another way to distract your­
self or neglect what you really need to work on.
Stle 9 127
• You may take on many projects to have something to do in­
stead of intentonally living your own life.
• You may assume a role or some corporate identty and still
not know who you are.
Bibliogaphy 129
Biblio
g
raph
y
BOOKS ABOU THE ENNEAGRAM
General Intoducton
Baron, Renee, and Elizabeth Wagele. Te Enneagam Made Easy.
San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1994.
Beesing, Maria, Robert Nogosek, Patrick O' Leary. The
Enneaga: AJouey o/Sl Dsover. Denville, N: Dimen­
sion Books, 1984.
Hurley, Kathleen, and Teodore Dobson. Wat' My 7e?San
Francisco: HarperCollins, 1991.
« MyBt Sl: Usig te Enneagam to Fre te
Sul. San Francisco: HarperSan Francisco, 1993.
Keyes, Margart. Emotons and te Eneagam. Muir Beach, CA:
Molysdatur Publ., 1992, Rev. Ed.
Naranjo, Claudio. En ea-te Stcs. Nevada City, CA: Gate­
ways/IDHHB,1990.
. Caracer and Neusis: A Itegatve Jew Ne­
vada City, CA: Gateways, 1994.
130 TE ENEAGRAM
Linden, An e, and Murray Spalding. Te Enneagram and NP
Portland, OR: Metamorphous Press, 1994.
Palmer, Helen. Te Enneagram. San Francisco: Harper and Row,
1988.
. The Enneagram in Love and Work. New York:
HarperCollins, 1995.
Riso, Don Richard. Personalt 1es: Usig te Enneagam for
Sl Discover Boston: Houghton Miflin, 1987.
____________. Understanding the Enneagram. Boston:
Houghton Mifflin, 1990.
. Discovering Your Personalt Tpe. Boston:
Houghton Miflin, 1992.
« Enneagram Tansforatons. Boston: Houghton
Miflin, 1993.
Te Enneagram and Spiritalit
Metz, Barbara, and John Burchill. Te Enneagram and Payer.
Denville, NJ: Dimension Books, 1987.
Nogosek, Robert. Nie Porait of Jesus. Denville, NJ: Dimen­
sion Books, 1985.
Rohr, Richard, and Andreas Ebert. Dscoverg te Enneagam.
New York: Crossroad, 1990.
. Exerencig te Enneagam. New York: Cross­
road, 1992.
Tickerhoof, Berard. Conversion ad te Eneagam. Denville,
NJ: Dimension Books, 1991.
Bibliogaphy 131
Zuercher, Suzanne. En eagam Spitualt. Not Dame, I: Ave
Maria Press, 1992.
. Enneagram Companions. Note Dame, IN: Ave
Maria Press, 1993.
Articles and Chapters about the Enneagram
Keen, Sam. "A conversation about ego destruction with Oscar
Ichazo." PsychologyToday July 1973.
Lilly, John, and Joseph Hart. "The Arka training." Tanspersonal
Psycologes. Ed. Charles Tart. New York: Harper and Row,
1975.
Metzner, Ralph. "The Arica Enneagram of Types." Kow Your
1e: Maps of Identty New York: Doubleday, 1979.
Wagner, Jerome. "Reliability and validity study of a Suf person­
ality typology: the Enneagram." Joual of Ciial Psychol­
ogy. 39(5). September 1983.
. "The Enneagram and Myers-Briggs: two windows
on the self." New Catolic Word May jJune 1986.
. "Comparisons of the Enneagram and Jungian
typologies." Enneagram Educator Winter 1990.
. "Apologia for the Enneagram and Research. "
En eagram Educator. Summer, 1994.
Dissertations about the Enneagram
Beauvais, Phyllis. "Claudio Naranjo and SAT: modem manifes­
tation of Sufism." Ph.D., 1973, Hartford Sminary. 35/12-A,
p. 8005. GAX 75-13868.
132 THE ENEAGRAM
Campbell, Richard. "The relationship of Arica training to self
actualization ad interpersonal behavior." Ph.D., 1975, United
States Interational University. 36/03-B. GAX 75-20244.
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judgments of Enneagram personality types." Ph.D., 1986, Cali­
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LD 00676.
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the Eneagram personality typology." Ph.D., 1981, Loyola
University, Chicago. 41/11A. GAX 81-09973.
Wolf, Steven. "Efects of the Arica training on adult develop­
ment: a longitudial study." Ph.D., 1985, Saybrook Institute.
46/11B. GAX 85-28854.
Zinkle, Thomas. "A pilot study toward the validation of the Sufi
personality typology." Ph.D., 1975, United States Interatonal
University. 35/05B. GAX 74-24529.
(To order copies, contact Dsaton Abstac Itematonal Disserton
Publishing, University Microflm Interational, 300 N. Zeeb Rd., p.o.
Box 1764, Ann Arbor, MI 48106; 1-800-521-3042.)
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Te Aria Taditon
!chazo, Oscar. The Human Proess for Enlghtenmet and Fre ­
dom. New York: Arica Institute Press, 1976.
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. Iterviews wit Ocar Icazo. New York: Arica In­
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Te Gurie/ Taditon
Almaas, AH. Te Elxir of Enlghtment. York Beach, ME:
Samuel Weiser, 1984.
. Essece: te Damond Approc to Iner Reala­
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. Te Void Berkeley: Diamond Books, 1986.
. Te Pearl Byond Prce. Berkeley: Diamond Books,
1988.
Benett, J.G. En eagram Studies. York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser,
1983.
Campbell, Robert. Fsheran s Guide. Boston: Shambhala, 1985.
De Ropp, Robert. Te Master Game. New York: Dell, 1974.
Ouspensky, PD. Te Psycology of Mas Possible Evoluton.
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Speeth, Kathleen. Te Gurie/ Work. Berkeley: And/Or Press,
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Tart, Charles. Wag Up. Boston: Shambhala, 1986.
Webb, James. Te Haronious Cile. New York: G.P. Putam's
Sons, 1980.

WHAT TYPE ARE YO �
The Enneag'ram is a diagram that represents nine basic types of human personal­ ity and the relationships between them. Each of these types�r styles-relates to a point on lhe diagram. and is summed up in a singl word. They are:

Good

Origillal Wise Loyal

loyful PowerfLlI Peaceful

Lovillg cjJeclilie

Probing exercis s will h Ip you connect your 0\\ n personalilY 10 one of Ihese slyl s. Then, each chapler describes one slyle in delail. covering such issue
• • • as:

Posili,e and negali,'e Irails. ore ,alues. ideas. and assumptions lhat shape your view of the world .. How and
\I hy

you move toward a different personalily sl) Ie when you're under

slress-and when you're relaxed and feeling in conlrol.
• •

Negalive and posilive changes you may make under Slress. Negalive and positive changes you may make when you're feeling in conlrol.

The insights you gain by underslanding each personality I) pe and how it relales lo Ihe olhers will pUI you in louch wilh facels of your inner self Ihal you've repressed. You'll learn why you've repressed lhem, the painful results of lhal repression, and how 10 slop lhe repression and gi'e lhem full expre sion. Wilh Ihis knowledge. you can allow yourself lo develop all aspecls of your being. and live a fuller, richer, more alisfying and effeclive life.

BG

-

PSYCHOLOGY

ISBN 1·56731·728·6

9

The Enneagram, a nine-pointed figure set inside a circle, is a system for describing the basic types of human personality. It could be com­ pared to the spectrum or colors; each person contains all the colors, but one hue dominates. Despite its uncertain origin, the Enneagram generally agrees with modern theories or psy­ chology. Each or the nine personality styles it describes relates to a point on the Enneagram. Each point has a one-word name Oisted on the back of this jacket) and each is associated with a set of core values that shapes its attitudes, beliers, and perceptions or the world. But when we meet wilh indifference, criticism, or misunderstanding, we develop a "public self," a protective shell around our lrue core val­ ues. We attempt to appease our critics (internal and external); instead of expressing our real selves, we try to impress others. The result is our core values get distOtted into ways we think we "should" be. The exercises in the Introduction to this book and the descriptions or the nine styles in the chapters that rollow enable you to reflect on your experience, and connect your own person­ ality to one or the nine. They'U help you understand the differences between your true self, your core values, and the distorted "public personality" you've developed ror protection.

continued on backflllp

. the more we can understand our own lrue natures. JEROME WAGNEH. moving toward the negative or positive features of another style.continuedfrom front }lap You'll also learn how you change under stress. One of the original students of the Enneagram in the early 1970s (his doctoral dis­ sertation was among the first formal research projects involving the Enneagram). He is also the author of The Enneagram and the Myers­ Briggs: Two Windows on the Self and Group Enneagram Styles. and how we can relate to them in the most satisfying and successful way. Chicago. NY l000J . he has taught graduate courses in the Enneagram for over fifteen years at Loyola's Institute of Pastoral Studies. The more we understand the Enneagram. the nature of others. where he now offers an Enneagram Training and Certification program. Fine Communications 322 Eighth Avenue New York. 1'11.1). is a clinical psycholo­ gist and psychotherapist in private practice and at the Counseling Center of Loyola University.

An to the MJF BOOKS NEW YORK . PH.illtroduction Eilleagram Personality Styles and Where You Fit In JEROME WAGNER.D.

Inc.) 4 3 2 1 .Personalit. This book was previously published under the title of The Enneagram Spectnan o/. tio part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means. without the prior written permission of the publisher. All rights reserved. Wagner. inc.luding photocopy. (lr any information storagt' and retrieval system. QM to U 8 7 (j . This special edition is published by MJF Books in arrangement with Metamorphous Press. recordinl(.D.JF colophon are trademarks of Fine Creative Media.Published by MJF Books Fine Communications 322 Eighth Avenue New York. electronic or mechanical. Manufactured in the Gniled States of America on acid-free paper MJF Books and the 1!. Ph. NY 10001 An Introduction to the Enneagratn: Personali(lJ Styles and Where YOIl Fit In LC Control �umher 2004118030 ISBX 1-56731728-0 Copyright © 1996 by Jerome P.1J S(ljles.

........................................................................ ..... .... v Introduction .............. ......... .............................. ..... .. 49 The Loving Person Style 3 .... .... ..... ..... ...... .................. ..... 1 39 ........................ 119 The Peaceful Person Bibliography ......... .................Table of Contents Foreword . .......................... .......... .......... ...... ...... ...... 79 The Wise Person Style 6 ... The Good Person Style 2 .................... 59 The Effective Person Style 4 ...... .................... 69 The Original Person Style 5 ............................... ... ........ ..................................... ........... .... ......... ................. .... ... .................. ...... . .... ..... 109 The Powerful Person Style 9 ... ..... 99 The Joyful Person Style 8 ......... ..... ...................... ....... Style 1 ................... ........ .......... 129 . . .......... ... ............. ......... ....... . . ........ .... ............................................ ............ ...................... .......... .. 89 The Loyal Person Style 7 ......................................... ............................... ............................................................ ......... ..... .

Wagner through a microfilm of his dissertation over twenty years ago-an academic treatment of the Enneagram material that has recently attracted a wide international audi­ ence. Helen Palmer Teacher and author of The Enneagram. his clarity always adds an interesting angle to the debate. Even when you don't see eye to eye with Jerry. agreed. The Enneagram In Love And Work. all of which has been immensely satisfy­ ing. argued. we've conferred.Foreword by Helen Palmer I first met Dr. Since then. The Pocket Enneagram . and challenged each other's thinking. This workbook is his piece of the Enneagram magic that draws those who seek something more than Freud's agenda of good love and work as the apex of well-being. It's a really good guide and I'm delighted to recommend it to both new and longterm students who will benefit from his way of bringing the types to life.

this book is a pleasure to recommend. It offers a dynamic version of the system that is rooted in common sense and per­ sonal experience. The writing is distilled and precise. Readers will find surprising new ways to apply the Enneagram both personally and professionally as well as a direct path to their personal depths. they point directly to the Enneagram's best purpose-unveiling our inner map of reality. Thomas Condon Author of The Everyday Enneagram. Simple yet profound.Foreword by Thomas Condon Most introductions to the Enneagram reduce it to a collection of types. I especially like the book's exercises. Deep mastery of the Enneagram is hard-won and evident in the qual­ ity of insight presented here. but this book takes just the right tone. For these and many other reasons. and Wagner's descriptions of personality styles reflect his own vocabulary and vision. the author has decades of experi­ ence and it shows. The Enneagram Movie & Video Guide .

it states that human nature is expressed in nine natural fundamental ways. these underlying fun­ damental schemas or maps are root organizing assumptions or (In Greek. The personality paradigms or patterns that are arranged in this circumplex model represent. means nine and gramma means point. As you shine white light into a prism. or nine phenomenological world views and per­ spectives.1 Introduction It is always fascinating and mutually confirming when theo­ ries and descriptions of personality from various sources of pe­ rennial wisdom resonate with contemporary psychological sys­ tems of personality. depending on which metaphor you select. Ennea . from a psychological viewpoint.) This array has been compared to a wheel of colors. either nine manifestations of the Divine. From a spiritual point of view. it says that Being is disclosed through nine essen­ tial characteristics. or nine quali­ ties of Being. From this latter point of view. Such is the case with the Enneagram theory of the human person with its manifestations in nine personality styles. this metaphor says that Divinity descends and shows itself through nine earthly manifestations. it fans out into a spectrum of the basic colors. According to this metaphor. from a philosophical point of view. The Enneagram is a nine-pointed figure in a circular setting that is used to display nine personality styles. every person contains all the hues of the spectrum although one color particularly stands out or characterizes each individual.

then. the Enneagram has become popular and is being validated in such varying cultures as Japan. still others allege it is a modem discovery) and the exact transmission of the Enneagram symbol remains murky. evaluating. team­ building.2 THE ENNEAGRAM core beliefs which influence and even determine our perceptions. feelings. modern psychology through complex statistical factor analysis has found that circumplex models are the most apt means for graphically plotting personality charac­ teristics. thoughts. completeness and fullness. others. Africa. different ways of expe­ riencing. Since it has become better known in the last twenty years. what is clear is that the laws and descriptions of the human es­ sence and personality as seen through the lens of the Enneagram have been recognized in some fashion across centuries as well as across races. psy­ chological. So it is not surprising that a circular figure is used to describe the full range of human ex­ pression. India. These paradigms are at the heart of how we think and feel about ourselves and other people and they govern the kinds of interactions with others we allow ourselves to think about and to have. There does ap­ pear to be something universal in the nature and functioning of the human person that is being expressed through this system. Today it is being used in a variety of settings from growth centers and therapy rooms to classrooms and busi­ ness boardrooms with a variety of purposes from personal. Although the origins of the Enneagram are disputed (some speculate its roots lie in antiquity. and reality. are different ways of being in the world. North and South America. and management effectiveness. and behaviors. This Introduction with its workbook and exercises is in- . age spans. Interestingly. and genders. some trace its lineage to the middle ages. These styles. Only in the last few years has the Enneagram been transcribed into written form for wider publi­ cation. values. understanding. cultures. perceiving. Traditional schools of wisdom often use a circle as a symbol of unity. and respond­ ing to ourselves. Europe. and spiritual growth to couple interactions. The Enneagram was originally transmitted through oral tra­ dition and is probably best learned through hearing about it and interacting with others.

This primer presumes no prior knowledge of the Enneagram. Complete the exercises in the Introduction.Introduction 3 tended to be a bridge between the oral and written traditions. statistically reliable and vali­ dated inventory. something like a funnel which is wide at the top and narrow at the bottom. WP E SS. compare with your own style the word and phrase descriptors before each chapter. There are exercises for each dimension of the Enneagram personality mosaic. then come to somejud gmen tabout your experience and understand­ ing. with a standardized sample and normative scores. The exercises begin with very general reflection questions and then become more specific. therapists. and consult­ ants as a teaching aid for introducing the Enneagram to their clients. It can be used by workshop presenters. Begin with your experi­ enceto provide the data. you might want to take the Wagner E nneagram P erson­ ality St Scales ( WEPSS) to help you to differentiate your type yle Like the (now in the research and development phase). The exercises and descriptions that follow are designed to introduce you to the general personality theory that grounds the Enneagram and to familiarize you with the nine hues that make up its spectrum of personality styles. through many workshops and courses. then consider the descriptions of the nine Enneagram styles. The word I phrase descriptors are meant to be a precis or par­ tial cataloging of the positive and negative features of the nine styles. the Enneagram descriptions may expose a pattern that has been present in your life without your recognizing it. As you till the data of your experience. the exercises have been developed over many years. It can also stand on its own as a brief written primer for the Enneagram. So this manual follows the process of knowing. understand. They are designed to help you reflect on your own experience. . Hopefully this com­ bination of experiential reflection and presentation of theory will help you locate. and appreciate your own particu­ lar style. then let understanding arise from your experience to produce a template for organizing the data. For a formally researched.

Then we'll look at our public self-the pro­ tective covering around our true self that we donned and/or were conditioned into whose function is to protect our vulner­ able self. All of these values are virtu­ ally or potentially present in our core self. meanings. what really matters. lie certain strengths and capabilities that enable us to survive and thrive.4 THE ENNEAGRAM CORE SELF OR ESSENCE OR OBJECTIVE PARADIGM Some s ch o o ls of perennial wisdom (including the Enneagram) and some contemporary psychological theories of development and personality make a basic distinction between our essence or real self and our personality or public or false self. They are meant to reveal what is important to you. In our essence. These core value tendencies organize and guide our we are and who we want to become. Exercise 1-What is the purpose of life? If a young child asked you what the purpose of life is-what are we here for-how would you respond to him or her? Re- . we tend to favor and are motivated by a hierarchy of these values. First we'll consider our natural. keep it secure. These values are the motivating and organizing ten­ dencies that become central for each personality style. Temperamentally. energies. genuine core self-the self we were born with. and facilitate our commerce with our environment. They are general inquiries into your fundamental attractions . and behaviors. orientations. We experi­ ence these abilities and qualities as values or ideals that we prize and are spontaneously drawn to. perceptions. They are at the root of who The following exercises are designed to help you get in touch with your own core values. emotional reactions. with one or a few being more potent and central than others. Record your answers on a separate piece of pa­ per or in a journal. and motiva­ tions. though. at the heart of each style. and we are capable of appreciating and actualizing all of them.

Exercise 2-1£ you only had one year to live. look now at Figure 1 (page 7). My personal mission is to__) . What is the purpose of Earthlings? What would you say to the Martian? Take some time to reflect on this and record your answer. what would you do? If you were told you only had one year to live. Then in the last few weeks you will deteriorate rapidly and die. so your response has to be simple and brief. Within it you will find expressed your innermost values and ideals (i. this is a young child (let's say around age six). why you are on this planet. The Martian asks you. what would you do in that year? Your health will be fine all the way up to the end. Exercise 4-What do you really want? What do you really want in your truest self? Write down what comes to you. The kind of person I would like to be is� The kinds of activities I would like to engage in are __ .. A variation of this theme would be to substitute a Martian for a child. Put another way: what is your vocation? What do you feel called to be and to do? What do you believe is the purpose of your life? Write down your personal mission statement. With this material from your own experience and under­ standing. . What would you like or what do you understand your mis­ sion in life to be? This statement is meant to be the embodiment of your vision and values. This declaration will express what you believe the meaning of your life is all about. How would you spend the year? An additional consideration you might ask yourself is why aren't you doing this now? Why not now? Exercise 3-Write your own personal mission statement.e. as an Earthling.Introduction 5 member.

developing. you will also be loving. we can call on our power. We need all nine paradigm perspectives to see reality objec­ tively. when we need to have fun. If you compare your responses to 1. and cultivate one of these value vectors which becomes an organizer and expresser of the self. and 4 to the descriptions in this column. The healthy self has the potential for valuing. The healthy person has access to these reality based and reality informed paradigms which provide pliancy and flexibil­ ity to our style. This is the particular viewpoint. Pictorially. By temperament or destiny we are particu­ larly attracted to. wise. When one of these qualities is present. To operate effectively in the world. we need. are guided by. 2. we can call on our joy. all of these qualities. The adjectives and phrases in the top section of each checklist titled Positive Descriptions of Y So/lealso point to the healthy char­ our acteristics found in the authentic self.6 THE ENNEAGRAM Figure 1 summarizes much of the material that will be treated in discussing the nine Enneagram styles. The flexible person has this whole spectrum of adaptive attitudes and behaviors available. etc. You will find these values described in more detail under the heading Positive Exercises Core Value T endencies in the left hand col­ umn of each of the nine styles. we tend to see the world from one favored and developed perspective or another. and have avail­ able to us. for each contains the others. Even so. acumen and problem-solving . we naturally tend to rely on and use one or a few favorite ways of operating. if you cultivate the valued characteristic of goodness. this is indi­ cated by the dotted lines showing these core values as perme­ able and intermingling. you may find some resonances to your own value preferences. loyal. The other vectors are used as auxiliaries to complement our cen­ tral preference. all are virtually present. To be effective. 3. Even so. Nine positive core char­ acteristics or values are represented by the innermostcircle (I) of Figure 1. when we need to be nurturing. So in a situation when we need to be assertive. we can call on our love. and the rest. and utilizing each of these characteristics. For example. we need to take multiple per­ spectives on a problem or situation. These values are part of our essence.

Introduction 7 Enneagram Personality Style Profile 9 7 2 5 4 I II III IV Genuine Ideal or Authentic Values Area of Avoidance Defense Mechanism Idealized Self-Image or Compensating Values Figure 1 .

partial expressions of our full self that we overidentify with and believe represent our whole self. Our core ideals or values become crystallized into idealized seU-images. and ideas are met with empathic interest. These strategies are attempts to make ourselves attrac­ tive.8 THE ENNEAGRAM approach we have to offer any group. W hen we are acting from our healthy self. To be acceptable or somebody. and points of view to society. Instead of expressing our real values. to appease them. acceptable. we try to ers. We mistakenly believe that if we attain and mani­ fest these idealizations. safe. PERSONALITY OR PUBLIC SELF OR SUBJECTIVE PARADIGM Under favorable inner and outer conditions and with good enough parenting. W hen our spontaneous urges. preferences. gifts. rigid. feelings. we are more competent in some areas than others. This peripheral self is an attempt to defend and maintain our inner self in the face of our critics. and we can resolve certain issues more easily than others. good. criticism. sensations. to win them over to our side. then we develop a per­ sonality or public self to cover our real self and protect it. acceptance. we have to be good. giving. However if the appearance of our core self is met with indif­ ference. they will gain for us positive reinforce­ ment or at least help us avoid negative reinforcement. we then develop according to the enfolding of our es­ sential nature. We become what we believe we impress others. and encour­ agement. feelings. we can often perceive and understand some things more clearly than others. Our paradigms or perspectives on the world tend to become static. our core real self emerges and flourishes. efficient. Now we use our gifts and strengths to protect ourselves from others rather than to build up our community. and inflexible. special. to gain their atten­ tion and approval. We begin to manipulate both ourselves and oth­ have to be. or to defeat them. We become who we really are. Due to our expertise in our paradigm. Our core gifts get distorted and caricatured into ways we think we shouldbe. etc. or misinterpretation. images. and thoughts. Our perspective becomes more lim- . and secure. we contribute our strengths.

some people might suggest: "Get them before they get you. For example." While others might ad­ vise: "Get out of town or hide out. Exercise 6-Where have you been looking for what you want in the wrong places? What have you substituted for what you really want that you wrote down in Exercise 4? As the song says. an area you tend to avoid. Write down what you have settled for or have mistakenly been seeking. Exercise 5-How have you survived? In this"dog-eat-dog world. you may substitute a Venusian for a young child. are you looking for love in all the wrong places (like in food." Others might say: "Be nice to people.Introduction 9 ited and narrow and we develop tunnel vision. drink. or sex)? Or are you looking for truth through status? Etc. when we lose touch with our core self. So we assume a personality and pursue substitute or compensating values in an attempt to fill in what feels missing. Here the Venusian is asking how do Earthlings survive on this inhos­ pitable planet? How have you managed to live this long? Make a list of your techniques. These exercises explore the remain­ ing three rings in Figure 1: your idealized self-image. In sum. we need to substitute something in its place. Exercises 5 through 15 may help you discover your person­ ality or subjective paradigm. Our paradigms become distorted and subjective instead of reality-determined." Again." what advice would you give to a young child about how to survive? How do you make it in this cruel world? What kind of survival tactics and strategies have you discovered and devised that have kept you safe. We try to solve problems in the same stereotyped manner with the same automatic interpretations and reactions. . and the defensive techniques you employ to help you avoid whatever doesn't fit your image of yourself.

AREA OF AVOIDANCE Parts of ourselves we consider unacceptable. Those aspects of reality that lie outside the territory scanned by our paradigm are often vague. and strengths of the other styles are available to us. the less the perspec­ tives. There you will see how our healthy strivings can become distorted when we overidentify with and overuse our basic gifts. The opposing attributes. feelings. Compare the survival tech­ niques you cataloged in Exercises 5 and 6 with the ones listed here and see where you might recognize yourself. and behaviors become. Just as our paradigm . These styles can vary in how flexible or stifling they are-and they vary in how well they trans­ late or convey to the world who we really are and in how dis­ torted or undistorted they bring in to us what is in the world. polari­ ties. or antitheses of our self-image. Our response repertoire becomes more limited and. or intolerable because they don't fit our idealized self-image are disowned and relegated to our unconscious or are projected onto others. embarrassing. approaches. indicating the ri­ gidity and impermeability of the characteristics of our personal­ ity. then. The more set we are in our ways. are found in our area of avoidance. The farther removed we get from our core self. These idealiza­ tions tend to be caricatures or exaggerations of the essential val­ ues and characteristics found in our real self. obscurely recognized. These strategies are demarcated by solid lines. ultimately. Each personality paradigm is like a lens or a searchlight with a particular focus and clarity. You will find these defensive or survival strategies for each of the nine styles spelled out more fully in the column entitled Distorted Core Characteristics. the more ste­ reotyped and automatic our thoughts. The result is that we lose touch with even more aspects of ourselves. we are less effective. These personality styles lie around the periphery of our self where they act as a covering to protect the self and act as mediators or translators between the self and the world. or not seen at all.10 THE ENNEAGRAM Our idealized self-image or compensating values are repre­ sented by the outermost circle (IV) in Figure 1.

In the next column. These are quali­ ties that you identify with." or "I seek security." While in the second column (Not-Me) you may have said: "I am brave. how are you cruel? Or brave? Resist your initial reaction of saying "I'm not. For example. In the first column. In the first column (Me) you may have said: "I am fearful. Exercise 7-Me and Not-Me Make two columnar lists. and place inside your self boundary. write down the opposite characteristics of the qualities you listed in the first column. You may repress these characteristics so they appear in your dreams as shadow fig­ ures.Introduction 11 enables us to see some things more clearly than others might. write down all the characteristics you associate with yourself." or what­ ever the polarity of fearful and security-seeking is for you. You can project out or throw away your strengths as well as your weaknesses." In Column 2 (Not-Me) you might write: "I am cruel. " or " I am adventuresome. For example. they will broaden your paradigm consid­ erably and give you more resources for handling situations that arise. in Column 1 (Me) you may have written: "I am nice." or whatever the opposite of nice might be for you. Exercise 8-Reowning the Not-Me Go back to your list of characteristics in Column 2 and iden­ tify with them or reown them. They represent untapped energy and strength. If you can access them. so we can miss or pass over realities and possibilities because we're not looking for them. . These are the po­ larities you find unacceptable and don't want to identify with and so place outside your self boundary. find acceptable. or don't want to see them. Or you may project them onto other people so they appear as traits you don't like in others or as traits you admire in others." and search out areas of your life where you have or do now manifest these qualities. are looking the other way.

Notice how they keep you imprisoned in your re�urring reaction loops. For example. there might be considerable strength contained in the anger and aggression found in being cruel. take each quality and think about what good is in that characteristic. you can use it productively. Exercise to-What are you afraid of? What fears stand between you and your real self? What are your fears that are keeping you from doing what you really want to do? What is the demon or dragon that guards the path to your inner self? When you quiet yourself and attempt to get in touch with yourself. what arises to distract you or block your view? Make a list of all the things you are afraid of. For example. what's good about being cruel? Or what good qualities are contained in being cruel? Perhaps these good qualities are being distorted. Exercise ll-How do your fears keep you trapped in your false personality or ego? Often we become stuck in our habitual patterns of thinking. If this strength and energy can be tapped cleanly. and determine whether these fears are still realistic or mostly mythi­ cal by now. feeling.12 THE ENNEAGRAM Exercise 9-Reframing the Not-Me If you're still having trouble identifying with some charac­ teristics in your Not-Me column. For example. some uncom­ fortable feelings or wishes may arise in you? Or are you afraid there will be no one there when you finally come home to your­ self? Consider the fears you catalogued in Exercise 10. do you always have to be nice and accommo­ dating because you are afraid of expressing your anger or your opinion for fear that people will not like you? Or do you always have to be working on some project for fear that if you slow down or have nothing to do. . and behaving because our irrational and no longer help­ ful fears get in the way of trying something new and different.

Write out how your paradigm creates your fears and avoid­ ances and how the rules of your paradigm prohibit you from doing what you legitimately might want to do. or taboos that keep you fear­ ful? For example. Or if your paradigm says you have to look calm. and when you come up to the edge of your belief. cool. then you "can't" express your feelings and you are afraid of them and stay away from them. What are you telling yourself or what have you been told happens to people who possess this dreaded quality or who manifest these terrible characteristics? What will happen to you if you go too far? What happens to people who get angry? Are they shunned. Someone with a different paradigm won't be bothered nearly as much about being right or exact. So.Introduction 13 Exercise 12-Where are the edges of your paradigm? Does your own paradigm create certain perceptions. inter­ pretations. then you might be afraid of and avoid being weak. rules. locked up? What happens to people who are lazy? Do they tum out to be bums? Or do they end up like your Uncle Harry or your older sister? Are the consequences specific ("You'll be sent to the insane . if you believe you have to be strong. On the other hand. Exercise 13-1£ you break this rule or taboo or cross this bound­ ary. boundaries. and collected in order to survive. Paradigms involve strong beliefs. what are you afraid will happen? Taboos or idols have power because you make yourself afraid of them. limits. when you come up to your horizon you won't want to go any further. but they're not allowed to think straight. if your paradigm involves perfectionism. someone else can express their feelings freely. For example. if you believe the world is flat. it can be very frightening to go any far­ ther. then your rules say you have to be right all the time and you fear being wrong or not doing something perfect enough. abandoned.

Write down the strategies and resources you already have and those you may need to acquire. Exercise 14-What do you need to do to stop worshipping this idol? What do you need to cast out this fear? What resources do you need to marshal to confront your fears? Perhaps you need to tum around and confront your fear. identify with. The way to wholeness is through honoring and integrating all of our polarities. This land of shadows or area of avoidance is represented by circle II of Figure 1. Expose yourself to the very thing you are afraid of. and repatriate these banished features of our self. You don't necessarily have to do all it by yourself. Maybe all dogs (or men or women) don't bite. you may first need to reas­ sure yourself that you will have connections in the future. Or before you make contact. Holding onto both ends of our polarities creates energy. You may need to rally some inner allies before you face your fears and/or you might want some outer friends and guides around when you push through your fear barrier. Notice that it lies between the core self and the personality. Compare these . Perhaps you need to upgrade your information or get infor­ mation you lack. you may need to feel the inner strength to be able to break that contact and withdraw when you need to. You will also find a section describing the Area of Avoid­ ance under each of the nine Enneagram styles. The most direct route to the self is through this avoided territory. To find ourselves we need to look at. Sex may not make your hair fall out or perma­ nently stain your soul. The information you initially received which made you fearful may have been faulty. reclaim. letting go of one end depletes energy. Perhaps before you say goodbye. You may be surprised to dis­ cover that you survive . or else!") Write down what you are afraid will happen if you enter your area of avoidance.14 THE ENNEAGRAM asylum") or vague? ("You'd better not do that. not through cutting off half of them.

) or if someone else brings up something you are uncomfortable with. sexy. The defense mechanisms act as buffers between our persona or idealized self and our shadow characteristics or avoided self. what happens next? What do you do? When you vaguely become aware of something in yourself you are uncomfortable with (like feeling angry. Our defenses prevent these rejected aspects of ourselves from entering the province of the personality. you won't be aware of them-so you need to be patient and observe yourself carefully. afraid. What we think of as Not-J is placed outside our paradigm boundary and is banished from consciousness. Exercise IS-What are your defense mechanisms? This is a difficult question.Introduction 15 with your own avoidances you discovered in Exercises 7-14 and see where you recognize yourself. etc. Whatever we consider to be lis allowed inside our paradigm or personality boundary and is granted access to our awareness. or hold your breath? Do you go into your head and get too heady? Or do you lose your mind and get too feeling? Or do you just act impulsively without much thought or feeling? Do you blame others and start finding fault with them? Do you do the opposite of what you really want to do? If you want to do something for yourself. they also keep us from contacting and reowning these parts of our core self. do you distract yourself or change the subject? Do you go blank and lose your train of thought. DEFENSE MECHANISMS As we approach our area of avoidance. Unfor­ tunately. what do you do to avoid it? For example. we become anxious. When you start to feel anxious. stop feeling. because if your defense mecha­ nisms are working properly. So we devise ways to keep these unacceptable aspects of our­ selves out of our awareness. numb out. do you do what you . tighten your muscles.

we have an intuitive. We function most effectively when we live in harmony with these universal principles.) When we are living in accordance with our core authentic self.16 THE ENNEAGRAM should do instead? Or if you want to slug someone. Notice whether any of the defenses you discovered in Exercise 15 match any of these. Psychically.e. We need them to survive psychologically. Write down the ones you rely on the most. so does the psyche have certain laws within which it functions optimally. They are built-in to . between the idealized self-image (circle IV) and the area of avoid­ ance (circle II). You will also find a characteristic The defense mechanisms are found in circle III of Figure 1. though perhaps unconscious. Our para­ digms or inner maps are accurate reflections of reality and are reliable guides for our choices and behaviors because they are aligned with the laws of the universe and with the laws of our own human nature. OBJECTIVE PRINCIPLES AND PARADIGMS I ADAPTIVE COGNITIVE SCHEMAS Just as our physical body has certain laws and principles by which it operates.. under­ standing of these objective principles or natural laws. the defense mechanisms separate what we identify with as ourself from what we avoid as anti­ thetical to our self. Defense Mechanism de­ scribed under each of the nine Enneagram styles. we can only tolerate so much injustice. before we become sick in our spirit or demoralized. unloving. are you nice to them instead? Do you repress or deny what seems to be quite obvious to others? You probably have many defense mechanisms at your dis­ posal. etc.e. As the body has certain tolerances or limits within which we must stay or we damage the body (i. our body temperature can only go so high or so low or we might die).. they serve the same buffering function. Graphically. so does the psyche have certain boundaries that need to be respected or we injure the psyche (i. ugliness.

Since it might be difficult to uncover these underlying objec­ tive paradigms or principles. indicating their mutual co-presence and influence. sadness. . fear. when you genu­ inely felt connected to yourself and others. each of these principles implies and virtually contains all the others. etc. when you were at­ tentive.Introduction 17 lead us to self-realization. Exercise 16-When you are in a resourceful state. when you spon­ taneously felt and expressed some feeling. love. anger. justice.itmer circle of Figure 2 where they reside in our essence or real self. These objective principles and paradigms are found in the . strong. That is. and to commun­ ion with others and the world. Recall a moment when you felt at home and at ease in your body. These attitudes are delineated by dotted lines. clearheaded and singleminded. in short. etc. so our cognitive maps are accurate reflections of the territory. For ex­ ample. Each style has a particular principle that is especially useful to remember and operate out of so the person remains aligned with reality and her or his own true nature. and expansive. feeling. there is also hope. and behaving. and organize external and internal data. Adaptive cognitive schemas faithfully record. when you were fully present in the here and now. alert. work backwards. to self-transcendence. open. You will experience genuine emo­ tions such as joy. attitudes. code. Schemas represent patterned ways of thinking. what beliefs are in place that align you with reality? When you hold and express certain beliefs. They are formulated on repetitions occurring in the real world. They are adaptive be­ cause they enable us to realistically negotiate our way around in the world. You will find these objective paradigms or adaptive schemas described under the heading Adaptive Cognitive Schemas for each of the nine Enneagram styles. supple. you will find your body feeling physically relaxed. and energetic. when freedom is present. and assumptions. Your mind will be clear.

SUBJECTIVE OR DISTORTING PARADIGMSI MALADAPTIVE COGNITIVE SCHEMAS When we lose touch with our core self and lose faith in our inner and outer reality. feelings. and principles. These illusory paradigms or perceptions and their ensuing limited strategies are found in the they reside in the periphery or outer circle of Figure 2 where personality. what adaptive beliefs did you have about yourself. They are maladaptive because these maps don't fit the contemporary territory but rather distort in­ coming information to fit old patterns.18 THE ENNEAGRAM In this resourceful state. Our narrowed and inflexible paradigms or faulty as­ sumptions and belief systems are inaccurate maps which limit and distort our perception of reality. and behaviors. Maladaptive schemas impose archaic patterns on reality. what are the distorted perceptions and inaccurate interpretations that are in place then? When you hold beliefs and assumptions that are not aligned with your own true nature or with reality. When we follow these disordered percep­ tions. You will find these distorting paradigms spelled out under the heading Maladaptive Cognitive Schemas for each of the nine styles. These positions often exclude other points of view. Each style has a particular trap or maladaptive schema that keeps the individual stuck in a recurring reaction loop. about the world and your place in it? Record your underlying perceptions. beliefs. indicating their narrow focus and tun­ nel vision. They are not trustworthy guides since they lead to the self-defeating strategies of the per­ sonality (though they were originally hoped to be self-protect­ ing and enhancing). about others. These stances are separated by solid lines. They recreate and then perceive old repetitions and recurrences where there may not be any. we are on the path away from our core self and away from genuine contact with others . Exercise 17-When you are in a non-resourceful state. you will experience . we fashion our own vision and version of reality.

Introduction 19 Adaptive and Maladaptive Cognitive Schema of Each Personality Style 9 7 2 5 4 CORE (inner circle) = Adaptive Schema/Objective Paradigm PERIPHERY (outer circle) = Maladaptive SchemalDistorting Paradigm Figure 2 .

They are attitudes best suited to help us connect and harmonize with reality and to energize. when your body felt anxious and tense. fulfill. all the others are in effect contained within it. when you were in the "there and then" instead of in the present. enervated or hyperactive. you will experience contaminated feelings such as guilt. and transcend our real self. when your mind couldn't focus or when you couldn't get it off some­ thing. Remember a time when you felt disconnected from yourself and from others. rigid. confused. when your emotions felt crabbed or numbed or out of control. in short.20 THE ENNEAGRAM your body being tense. about the world and your place in it? Write down the perceptions. They are clear. cluttered. When we are living in accordance with our real nature or essential self and our paradigms. VIRTUES/ADAPTIVE EMOTIONAL SCHEMAS Virtues are good habits (virtusmeans strength in Latin). what were your maladaptive beliefs about yourself. undistorted. When you were in that non-resourceful state. Virtues are adaptive emotional schemas that emanate from our essential nature and represent dispositions that manifest our best self. You will also find a characteristic Virtue or Adaptive Emo­ tional Schema detailed in the left hand column for each of the . the virtue of courage flows naturally from a sense of faith and trust in our own and others' inner nature. For example. closed. objective ex­ pressions of spiritual energy. then a corre­ sponding virtue flows naturally from this position. The innercircle of Figure 3 displays the virtues of each type. They are the strengths that accompany a fully functioning and devel­ oping human being. about others. indicating that when one of the virtues is present. assumptions and convictions you were holding then. depression. greed. hos­ tility. envy. They are separated by a dotted line. They are the endowments of our essence. your mind will be distracted. assump­ tions and perceptions are accurate and objective.

Look at the nine virtues presented for the Enneagram styles. do you have some prohibition or inhibition about being strong? or loving? or feeling? or humor­ ous? or intelligent? You might also want to look ahead to the next section. PASSIONS/MALADAPTIVE EMOTIONAL SCHEMAS Passions are bad habits. A self-defeating cycle gets established between our dis­ torting paradigm and idealized self-image and the ruling pas­ sion. They are distorted expressions of spiritual energy which try to substitute for the virtues. what skills and dispositions does a person need to live in an adult manner? For example. Did any of them surprise you? Did you leave any of them out of your list? You might want to add them. The idealized self-image inevitably gives rise to the pas- . which ones do you already possess and are adept at? Which habits and skills are you missing or deficient in? What is interfering with your possessing and developing these virtues? For example. Per­ haps there is some bad habit or passion in place and operating that prevents the virtue from appearing and functioning. emotional. spiritual competencies does a person need for a sense of adult efficacy and mastery? Write out your list. Exercise 1S-What are the virtues or strengths or good habits needed for living a balanced adult life? In your opinion. so we never feel really satisfied after exercising or giving into them. Just as each style has a particular objec­ tive principle or adaptive cognitive schema to align you with and remind you of your true nature. moral. Passions fuel and inflate the personality but do not nourish our core self. what interpersonal or social skills should a person cultivate and possess? What intellectual. physi­ cal.Introduction 21 nine Enneagram styles. Considering all the virtues and skills mentioned. each style also has a dis­ tinctive virtue or guiding force and attitude to keep you on your true path.

then you are practicing the virtue of de­ tachment. leads to resentment because nothing appears as right or as fair as it should be. This anger and resentment then drive us to try harder to be perfect. obsessions. For example. What are the addictions and urges of your personality? What are you driven to thinking and feeling and doing that you know really isn't good for you? For example. The passions and virtues are mutually opposing. They feel like alien forces that drive you and that seem out of your control. wherein we compare everything to unat­ tainable ideals and then attempt to reach those ideals. so each of us tends to have a basic ruling passion or vice. do you compulsively com­ pare yourself to others? Do you feel possessed by resentment or vengeance that you can't (or won't) let go of? Do you have to have something and feel desperately bad if you missed it? Write down your addictions. So each of the nine subjective paradigms produces its characteristic passion. you simply observe it and don't act on it. but don't grab. the pursuit of perfection. Because the passions are associated with the peripheral self or personality. in the presence of your passion. The Passions or Maladaptive Emotional Schemas are also de­ lineated in the right hand column (across from and opposed to the Virtues) for each of the nine Enneagram styles. represent our non-resourceful self. Just as we tend to have only one idealized self-image. compulsions. blind . if you feel greedy. Exercise 19-What passions are in possession of you? The passions are experienced as an addictive energy. If. For example. they are found in the outercircle of Figure 3. Passions are maladaptive emotional schemas since they arise from the false self or personality.22 THE ENNEAGRAM sion which in tum urges us to pursue the automatic thoughts and behaviors of the personality. then you experience your virtue. They are represented by solid lines since the passions tend to operate in a blind and inflexible manner with a tunnel-vision urgency. and don't lead to satisfying contact between our real self and the world.

Introduction 23 Adaptive and Maladaptive Emotional Schema of Each Personality Style 9 7 2 5 4 CORE (inner circle) = Adaptive SchemalVirtue = PERIPHERY (outer circle) Maladaptive Schema/Passion Figure 3 .

feelings. your fear and avoidance of pain. are all manifestations of your basic predominant fault or pas­ sion. you need to see how it stretches out and touches much of what you do. For example. and behaviors. thoughts. PARADIGM SHIFTS The following exercises are designed to help you reflect on changes in your perceptions. judgments. . etc. Exercise 20-What is your predominant fault? According to perennial wisdom and many religious tradi­ tions. Do any of the passions or addictions you noted seem central to your personality style? Do any of these mal-energized atti­ tudes seem to cause most of your problems? Do you recognize any of the passions as being pervasive throughout your person­ ality or paradigm distortions? Consider how this passion influences your perceptions. etc. Trace the tendrils of this passion through­ out the fabric of your personality. choices. Like the roots of a weed. your need to have your options open and commitments contained. You may experience these shifts either as voluntary choices or involun­ tary movements.24 THE ENNEAGRAM urges. you might note how your desire for new and varied experiences to spice up your life. the passion was referred to as your predominant fault or cardinal sin since it was from this source or "hinge" that all your other misdirected attitudes and behavior flowed or were con­ nected. Write down your reflections and observations about your predominant fault. and behaviors. The next exercise proposes the fundamental paradigm shift query. Hopefull y you will gain some insights into how to vary your customary manner of interacting. if your predominant passion is gluttony. Then compare these with the passions described for the Enneagram styles and note any similarities. desires.

behaving the way you did when you were little? Do you try other desperate measures to avoid dealing with your issues? Or under stress do you sometimes rise to the occasion and surprise yourself by how well you cope under pressure or in an emergency? Do you rally resources in yourself you usually don't call up? . What you find difficult to do might be relatively easy inside another paradigm.Introduction 25 Exercise 21-What is impossible for you to do within your own style? What can't you imagine yourself doing (i. You can find the an­ swers to some of your "unsolvable problems" by applying some­ one else's paradigm. If your paradigm makes expressing anger diffi­ cult for you. it would fundamentally change your style)? A paradigm shift takes you outside of your own boundaries and into another paradigm or worldview with a new set of rules and boundaries. If your paradigm makes it difficult for you to express your feelings. really. feeling. For example. would be a radical change in your style of living and interacting. Some problems can't be easily solved by your paradigm but can be solved by someone else's paradigm. if you were doing it.. Exercise 22-What happens to you under stressful conditions? Do you find yourself regressing to earlier patterns of behav­ ior? Do you find yourself thinking. won't allow your­ self to do)-something which. another paradigm might make it natural and expected. Or if your paradigm makes clear thinking difficult. do you find it hard to imagine yourself doing first what you want to do and then second what you shoulddo? Or vice versa? Do you find it almost inconceivable that you would express your feelings openly as you are feeling them? Does it seem unimaginable to you to live without doubts? Write down what you can't do (or. if you could or would do it. another's paradigm might make it facile.e. another paradigm will find it the logical thing to do.

K. I am helpful ! Needs I am loyal ! 6. I am good ! Anger I am O. Weakness 1. Pain 2. ! 7. Emptiness 4. 'f-�r-l�--+--+-+--. I am powerful ! 8.26 THE ENNEAGRAM Paradi gm Shifts I am settled ! Conflict 9.JY 3. I am successful ! Failure Deviancy I am wise ! 5. I am special ! Ordinariness Movements Toward Resourceful and Non-Resourceful States Figure 4 .

Besides assuming the compulsive strategies of this style. we find ourselves by de­ fault using the compulsive maneuvers of another style.Introduction 27 Write down what you're like when you fall apart under stress. When our customary automatic paradigms and emotional and behavioral patterns fail to rem­ edy the situation." This would be how Style 4 might move toward the low or compulsive side of Style 2 when experiencing inner and outer stress. What are you thinking. and doing when you rise to the occasion? STRESSFUL CONDITIONS Under stress. S/he becomes a "suffering servant. For example. feeling. the sensitive person despairs of trying to be special. we also start to shun the same aspects of reality this type avoids. Shifting to the Low Side of the Proceeding Style This regressive backup strategy can be identified by follow­ ing the direction of the arrow forward from our customary style to the proceeding style. we often compulsively use them more rather than try something different. Thus even more parts of ourselves become unavailable and our reactions become more narrow and rigid. begins to avoid his or her own needs. feeling. just what is that worst? Write down what you're like when you pull yourself together under stress. or when they break down. How do you respond gracefully under fire? What are your effective coping strategies when you're under pressure? What are you thinking. We begin to take on and resemble the negative features or the low side of this type. and doing when you start to disintegrate? When stress brings out the worst in you. and instead attempts to help others as a way to gain love and atten­ tion. each style tends towards certain backup strat­ egies of defense and coping. When we finally give up on these patterns. .

threatened. Look at the section Paradigm S hifts Y May Ex ou perience U nderStressful Conditions for each of the nine Enneagram styles and see where you recognize some of your own pattern shifts under stress. and compulsion or toward growth. how do you think and feel about do yourself. Exercise 23-What are you like in relaxed. nonthreatening situ­ ations? When you are at your best.28 THE ENNEAGRAM Shifting to the High Side of the Proceeding Style Stress often brings out the worst in us. we allow our less socia­ bly acceptable parts to come out. Under relaxed conditions either some suppressed strengths or some covered up weaknesses may emerge. integration. are you more demanding or whining at home? Some­ times in familiar. and wholeness are diagrammed in Figure 4. For example. Now write down what you're like when you feel safe and when you are at your best that you can't or won't do at your . sometimes it brings out the best. However. integrated. and alive. and do that you don't allow yourself to do in public? For ex­ ample. the sensitive person. or bad about yourself? What do you worst? When you feel safe (for example in your home environment or with your family) what do you allow yourself to think. and about the way you can inter­ act with others? How are you different here from when you feel anxious. These paradigm shifts toward regression. realizing slhe is becoming overly self-absorbed or involved in her own process. We can shift to the hi gh side of the proceeding style. Write down what you're like at your best when you feel safe. free. feel. relaxed. we find our­ selves deliberately choosing the alternate paradigm and effec­ tive methods of another style. accepted. Under these circumstances. about other people. elects to go out of herself and genuinely empathize and serve others. comfortable settings. fragmentation. This would be how Style 4 under stress might move toward the high or healthy side of Style 2.

"I'm okay even though I'm not perfect.Introduction 29 unthreatened and you let out the little gremlin or devil in you. objective. effective coping strategies. integrated. We miss the mark and take on the compulsive features of the other paradigm. the wise person might become bossy or cruel (the low side of Style 8) instead of acting out of their instincts and being assertive (the high side of Style 8) . we give in to another approach instead of giving up on our custom­ ary approach. We do things in our family that we wouldn't dare do in public. affirming conditions. strengths. we can look to the per­ spective." Shifting to the Down Side of the Preceding Style Sometimes when we are in relaxed comfortable surround­ ings we can slip into the down side of the preceding style. This represents a paradigm shift. proactive (vs. going backward against the direction of the arrow. To remedy a situation. each style tends toward more balanced. To discover the underutilized resources in ourselves. and attitudes of the preceding style to know what to draw upon in ourselves to get balanced or unstuck. It is generally healthy and motivating to be able to acknowledge and activate the idealized self state­ ment of the preceding type. For example. What uncharacteristic or unsocial behaviors do you let yourself get away with? HEALTHY CONDITIONS Under relaxed. For example. We enlarge our perspective with another frame of reference and increase our behavioral repertoire with another set of skills . it is beneficial for the perfectionist style to be able to say. We begin to assume and acti­ vate the positive features or high side of this type. Shifting to the High Side of the Preceding Style This alternate paradigm and strategy is found in the healthy coping patterns of the styleprecedingour own. . when feeling safe. reactive) modes of perception and behavior.

and behavioral shifts when you feel accepted and safe. it is the place we go to get centered and still. we experience a deep insecurity about ourselves. The instinctfor interpersonal relations is located in our heart center and provides us with an emotionalsense of whom we are with and how we are doing in relationship to others. Modem neuroanatomy has uncovered three layers in the evolu­ tion of the brain. along with other au­ tonomic nervous system activities. Various breathing. It naturally informs us about what we need. When this instinct is not function- . and pos­ tural exercises are used to activate this center. and spiritual realms in which we live. This is called the Kath center. In traditional wisdom. It tells us what the other person needs. and wholeness or towards stagnation. It is also the center of movement as in Tai Chi and the martial arts. Fi­ nally. emotional. This section of the brain is said to contain the ancestral lore of the species . When this instinct is ill-functioning or damaged. Look at the descriptions of the Paradigm S hifts Y May Ex­ ou perience Under Relaxed Conditions for each of the nine Enneagram styles and see where you recognize your percep­ tual. coordinating and smoothing movements. integration. there evolved the neocortex which surrounds the mam­ malian brain.30 THE ENNEAGRAM These paradigm shifts toward growth. In the reptilian brain are found those brain functions responsible for breathing. each per­ son has three centers of intelligence or three loci of decision­ making or three instincts that help us survive and thrive in the physical. and compul­ sion are diagrammed in Figure 4. interpersonal. The instinctfor self-preservation is located in our gut center in the pelvic basin and provides us with a physical sense of how we are doing in relation to ourselves. There is the reptilian brain located atop the brain stem. fragmentation. Next developed the old mammalian brain consist­ ing of the limbic system which encircles the reptilian brain. THREE CENTERS OR INSTINCTS According to some schools of perennial wisdom. movement.

When it is damaged. This is called the Path center. . we feel unconnected. This is the seat of enlightenment. purpose. we often become unbalanced and become too heady or too feeling dominated or too impul­ sive. where we have come from. delay and inhibit. heart. the head center is activated through visualization techniques. this is the center of devotion and love. we experience a sense of wholeness. and the intellectual center (the charioteer). In traditional wisdom. These three centers for gathering. Types 2-3-4 prefer the heart center. and acting on information are depicted in Figure 5. useless. and driver to illustrate the three centers.Introduction 31 ing. plan ahead and consider consequences. Types 5-6-7 prefer the head center. This is called the Oth center. and inadequate. A fourth type of person was one who had integrated all three centers. When all three centers are allowed to function freely and work in harmony. This instinct helps us find a sense of direction. While each of us has and needs all three centers. and where we are going. evaluating. and balance. The heart center is often activated by chanting or other auditory practices such as vocal prayer. Plato and later Gurdjieff spoke of three types of individuals in whom either the head. make voluntary movements and carry on dis­ course with the external environment. In peren­ nial wisdom. we typi­ cally rely on and prefer one center over the others. or abdominal centers predomi­ nated. integra­ tion. we experience a sense of loneliness. The old mammalian brain contains those parts of the brain that regulate the emotions along with the pleasure/pain center. The instinct for connection and orientation (syntony) is lo­ cated in our head center and provides us with an intellectual sense of where we are. Gurdjieff updated this image to his time and spoke of a carriage. The neocortex or gray matter is also called the associative cortex because it is able to make associations. horse. Plato used the image of a winged chariot pulled by horses and driven by a charioteer to describe the interrela­ tionships among the physical center (the chariot). the emotional center (the horses). Enneagram Types 8-9-1 prefer the gut center. When one center tries to do the work of the other centers. and meaning.

32 THE ENNEAGRAM The Three Instincts Intellectual Center Orienting instinct "Where am I?" Purpose. inadequate Emotional Center Relating instinct "Who am I with?" Social relationships Dysfunction: Loneliness Instinctual Center Conserving instinct "How am I?" Self preservation Dysfunction: Insecurity about self Figure 5 . direction Dysfunction: Feels useless.

The more the better. Exercise 24-Which is your preferred center: head. your muscles and joints naturally lubricate themselves . But which center is your final "go ahead with it" arbiter? Exercise 25-What is the condition of your carriage (physical center) at this time? Have you taken care of your body or carriage? Is it polished and well-oiled and ready for the road of life? Or have you ne­ glected it so it is rusty and can barely move? Through exercise and movement. sometimes before you think or feel anything about your options? With this judgment there seems no room for doubt.Introduction 33 The remaining exercises ask you to reflect on your experi­ ence of your three centers. Do you use your gut? Write out how you characteristically make important deci­ sions in your life. You may find you use all three approaches. heart. or gut (body)? When you need to make an important decision. Do you regularly exercise to keep your body in tone? Are you overweight so your horses can barely pull you? Or are you underweight to such an extent that you can't bear any burden placed on you? . which cen­ ter do you ultimately consult and trust? Do you consult and trust logic and reason? Do you list the pros and cons of the various options available to you? Do you take a rational approach to decision-making? Do you use your head? Do you consult and trust your emotions to discern how you feel about your various options? Do you imagine the possibili­ ties available to you and let your feelings move you one way or the other? Do you use your heart? Do you consult and trust your body to give you a felt sense for what you want? Do you make decisions rapidly and instinc­ tively.

sub­ stituting for healthy bodily care? Do you need to pursue any body therapies to get your car­ riage in shape (therapeutic massage. do you give it the nourishment it needs or do you feed it cotton candy? Are addictions to food. for reaching your still point)? Write down your reflections. compulsive? Or are your horses wild and undisciplined? Do your feel­ ings run wild so they are in control of you instead of you pro­ viding a gently guiding rein? Are your feelings hysterical. Zen or other methods. affection and joy? Can you move towards others with warmth? How are you with your fragile f eelings such as sadness. work. etc. drink. Aikido or other martial arts. etc. are any addictions (food. restricted.34 THE ENNEAGRAM Do you need to consider your diet? Are you providing your body the vitamins and minerals it needs? Or are you clogging up your arteries? If your body craves proteins. to name just a few. la­ bile. bioenergetics.) substituting for. breathing therapies. impulsive? Again. Reiki therapy. Tai Chi. people. nicotine. Exercise 26-What is the condition of your horses (emotional center) at this time? What is the status of your emotional life? Have you devel­ oped your emotions to the extent you have developed your mind and body? Are you in touch with and comfortable expressing the full range of your feelings? How are you with your hard f eelings such as anger? Are you able to move against others with assertive and confronta­ tional behavior? How are you with your soft f eelings such as love. repressed. em­ barrassment. . chemical substances. chemicals. smoking. covering over. Rolfing. and fear? Can you move away from others when appropriate? Or express your vulnerability? Are your horses underfed and underexercised? Do you pro­ vide them with energy and oxygen? Or do you cut them off by holding your breath and tightening your muscles? Are your feel­ ings overcontrolled. alcohol. overwhelming. Reichian therapy. Feldenkrais movement therapy.

black-or-white categories? Do you minimize or ignore the data in front of you? Do you confuse your projections with reality? Does your attention habitually go in a certain direction? or in a self-defeating cycle? Do you need some form of cognitive therapy to get your thinking up-to-date. your belief systems. Are your cognitive maps. and maps you developed when you were a child? Do you need to update your maps? Have you checked your assumptions out with other people lately? And have you checked your hypotheses and schemas against both external data and the data of your own experience? You may be changing the data to fit your schema or denying your own experience to fit some "should" or prejudice passed on to you when you were young. your assump­ tions. your ways of construing and interpreting reality accurate and up to date? or are you still working with the beliefs. absolutize. atti­ tudes. Exercise 27-What is the condition of your driver (head cen­ ter) at this time? What is the status of your cognitive life? The fanciest car­ riage with the liveliest horses won't do you any good if your driver is drunk or doesn't know the way. Write down how you are with your feelings. think in all-or-nothing. Write down your assessment of how your head center is func­ tioning. Is your thinking clear or muddled? Are you engaging in "Stinkin' Thinkin'" as the Twelve-Step program calls it? Do you overgeneralize. accurate. aspects of Neurolinguistic Programming. and realistic? Rational-Emotive therapy. . and Multi-Modal therapy are a few examples .Introduction 35 or distracting you from genuine emotional contact and expres­ sion? Do you need to consider any emotional cathartic therapies to free your emotions? Examples include Gestalt therapy. Primal Scream or other regressive therapies. either-or. group therapy. cognitive-behavioral or cognitive dynamic therapy.

The remaining exercises ask you to be more specific and reflect on what each center of your self desires. Exercise 28-What does your head need and want? Exercise 29-What does your heart need and want? Exercise 30-What does your gut (body) need and want? .36 THE ENNEAGRAM An earlier exercise (3) asked what you really wanted in your truest self.

't-�r-t-----+-T--¥ 3. The Good Person The Joyful 7. Person 2. The Powerful 8 . The Original Person .Introduction 37 The Nine Styles The Peaceful Person 9. Person 1 . Person 4. The Loving Person The Loyal Person 6. The Effective Person The Wise 5 .

. "'- 2. .. � OrtsInaI ... h .fv.....1 7 P_ The Loy.... .Th.. ... Style 1 39 .. . .. ..G.....g ..'_.- 3. serious responsible dedicated conscientious hi purpose gh precise punctual honest hardworking moral high standards Negative Descriptors of Your Style striving for excellence idealistic reliable thorough painstaking f air persevering develo allpotentials p ethical clarity seeking intense overl critical y demanding angry u ptight sharp driven impatient slave-driver moralistic trying too hard perf ectionistic hi ex gh pectations unrealistic overl y-persistent strict interfering puritanical preachy many //shouldsN overly serious ..ori..- ...Style 1 The Good Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style 1'Iw'uyfu. ......J 6.. 4. ". Thll Eff«lve l ""- The WlR 5...... Th�l. .

other people. orperfect. You have an ability to see how people or situations could be and you are willing to work hard to bring about that real­ ity. . You can become pedantic about what is right. You have difficulty accepting yourself. to get the correct point. You may not consider your own needs. You are afraid to do anything unless you can do it perfectly. You can become preoccupied with what is wrong or miss­ ing and consequently may not appreciate what is actually there. You can become obsessive or compulsive. You can get overly preoccupied with details and with getting every­ thing right. You have an appreciation for and a dedication to excellence and doing things well. These become more important than anything else . If you are a good girl or good boy. You like to be pre­ cise. You are altruistic and have an idealistic concern for people and causes beyond yourself. and feel­ ings as important as what you think you should do. You have the ability to be ex­ act.40 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You value and are attracted to goodness. and re­ ality as it is. right. You have a clarity of focus and intention. You want to realize all of your potentials and help oth­ ers actualize theirs. You have a highly developed critical faculty and so are good at quality control. wants. You want to make the world a better place to live in. You can overidentify with the idealized self-image of being good. then you are acceptable.

and industri­ ous. You can be moralistic and pu­ ritanicaL You are tyrannized by your shoulds. You are serious . You have a strong moral char­ acter. You de­ velop an inability to play and have fun. persevering. You are conscientious. ide­ als. You have difficulty stepping back and being dispassionate. You are prone to resentment since you tend to readily judge that life isn't fair. You become tense and live your life under pressure with time running out to do all the good that must be done. dedi­ cated. are committed to and take action to bring about a better world. . You have a tendency to inter­ fere with or to intrude upon others' lives to make them bet­ ter-for their own good. You try to live your life true to a higher good and a higher vision. You can be unwilling to see an­ other point of view. You have strong feelings about and become intensely involved in whatever you value. You can become over-respon­ sible and a workaholic. You can take yourself and situ­ ations too seriously. You have an appreciation for fairness and justice.Style 1 41 Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You desire. You can be overzealous. You want to live a life of moral purity. hardworking. and purpose. You live your life with high intentions. reliable.

Instead of leaving your­ self. You can appreciate the mo­ ment as it is. you in­ terrupt and interfere by trying to make it better. You are able to relax in the process of living. or others. The universe is unfolding as it should. You experience the bal­ ance and harmony between opposites. Either it's per­ fect or it's no good at all. You trust the growth process in yourself and others.42 THE ENNEAGRAM Objective Paradigm Wholeness Perfection Distorting Paradigm Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You understand perfection to be a You think of perfection in terms of a finishedproduct. as something you should have achieved yesterday. You are right now just where you ought to be. process. Anger can become an habitual emotional attitude for you. alone. You engage in all-or-n othing. You are resentful because nothing meets your high stan­ dards and your expectations aren't fulfilled. Virtue: Serenity Passion: Anger Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Adaptive Emotional Schema: You are in touch with and are at ease with yourself. You believe you need to im­ prove upon the moment. The better is the enemy of the good. You enjoy your­ self and others as dappled. black-and­ white thinking. as something you will always be on your way towards. You set your own unreachable standards because you don't trust your natural unfolding and development. .

or you assumed. were perfect. You were given. • You developed the belief that you were "somebody" if your ideals were higher than everybody else's. Defense Mechanism: Reaction Formation To keep your angry impulses out of your awareness. • You learned at home or at school that being angry was unac­ ceptable. Good boys and girls should not be angry. You got approval by being a good boy or good girl. • You came to believe that others wouldn't like you unless you • You discovered you could do things better or do things right if you did them yourself. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You were rewarded for being good and doing the right thing. instead of confronting someone. For example. • You learned to control yourself and others and the situation by following the rules and prescribed • shoulds. you are nice to them. or instead of being sexual. • you were punished for being bad and doing bad things. responsibility at a young age. . • You believed that by seeking excellence and having high stan­ dards you would be better than others.Style 1 43 Area of Avoidance: Anger You are uncomfortable being angry and find this feeling unac­ ceptable even though it is a frequent reaction of yours. you become puritannical. You were expected to grow up early and be a parent to your siblings and maybe even to your own parents. you do the opposite of what you are inclined to do. • Being an over-achiever brought you good feelings and social approval. and you were "no­ body" if you weren't perfect. • You may have been the eldest or an older child .

pressured. victimized. criticized. • You may get more resentful because your goodness isn't fairly recompensed. Going with the flow. • Living the unexamined life. More carefree interactions with people. 1ighthearted gaiety. morose. • Doing something half-well just because you like to do it or because it's worth doing even half-well. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style • You may try even harder to right the situation or make your­ self better.44 THE ENNEAGRAM What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • • • • Spontaneity. enjoying the process instead of control­ ling and pushing the river. • Feeling relaxed. taken advantage of. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 4 • You may feel misunderstood. • Tolerance and acceptance instead of being under the gun. frustrated. and depressed. You are good. and you don't feel rewarded. • You may become more rigid and strict with yourself and oth­ ers. pecialif you can't be right or perfect • You might attempt to be s enough. and that isn't fair. you try hard. scrutinized. push more. work more-to the point of exhaustion. . Trust in yourself. reality. • Being yourself instead of having to prove yourself. angry. others. You may feel bad because the world doesn't appreciate your efforts to make it better. • You might become more serious. fun. • You might strive more.

• Instead of taking action and doing something about what's wrong. You let the weeds grow with the wheat. • You accept yourself and the situation as it is instead of being critical and immediately wanting to change something. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Y our Own Style • You become forgiving of yourself and others. I' ho m peless. . no-nonsense manner and become manipulative. You may engage in stinkin ' thinkin ' by absolutizing and • catastrophizing and by getting stuck in the polarities of ei­ ther / or. black/white. forward. You avoid ordinary experience and become dramatic. • You go in search of your real self instead of trying to realize your idealizations. You accept yourself as dappled .Style 1 45 • You may become more critical of yourself sometimes to the point of saying: What's the use. You may find yourself mired in melancholy and self-pity. " • You may tum your anger on yourself and become depressed instead of channeling your energy into productive problem solving. • You may avoid looking at and dealing with reality in a straight­ A Shift to the High Side of Style 4 • Here you get into your real feelings . • You may get discouraged and give up on your ideals and goals. you may become demoralized and immobilized. • You may give up on your precision and exactness and begin to exaggerate the situation and become overwhelmed by your feelings. 111 never be II good enough. You get in touch with your real preferences and identity and disidentify with your external and internal "shoulds" and expectations.

There are many ways to solve a problem vs. A Shift to the High Side of Style 7 • You can say to yourself " I'm okay even though I'm imper­ • You take yourself and the situation less seriously. is on the way. You trust the process. • You can do what is desirable and pleasurable instead of what should be done. what isn't there. You take your foot off the brake when you're skidding vs. • You can ask the child in you what she or he needs and wants . • You are more accepting of all your feelings-especially your sexual and aggressive responses. • You shift your categories from either / or and all-or-nothing to • You can ask yourself what you're angry about and check whether your expectations for yourself and others are unreal­ istically high. process. convergent thinking. continuum. W hat you think are demons are actually daimons (friendly helpers). including you.46 THE ENNEAGRAM • You practice the Serenity Prayer and are more tolerant and patient. • You use divergent vs. You can look at what's there vs. You are more creative and imaginative. • You can go with the flow instead of against it. You can see the glass as half-full just as well as half­ empty . Every­ thing. • You lighten up instead of getting more heavy and serious. . pushing on the brake harder. • You are more spontaneous. You don't push the river since it flows by itself. both/ and. only one right way. You get in touch with your playful side . • You express your anger cleanly or let it go instead of holding onto it and remaining resentful. f N ect. You take a break before you break. • You look at what's right in yourself and the situation instead of what's wrong. You let yourself go and let things happen instead of trying to get more control.

Style 1 47 A Shift to the Low Side of Style 7 • You may try to escape the present pain or situation through addictions or other pleasurable trapdoors (e. drugs. sex. you may try to avoid your inner voices and "shoulds" through addictions to alcohol..g.). . etc.

....1ul .. ...Style 2 49 Style 2 The Loving Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style nu ......... Tht Orip"" PeNOn helping unselfish giving sensitive complimenting caring loving nurturing gentle sympathetic Negative Descriptors of Your Style affirming pting acce sacrificing other-centered compassionate listening praising serving relationshi p-oriented supporting intrusive interf ering possessive mani pulative demanding victim rescuing complaining guilt-inducing nonconironting unwilling to receive overprotecting martyr other-directed need y smothering in/ antilizing undeserving ofhel p jealous overl sweet y .. ..- The WlM S P.. 4.... �:�-g'�:"r _ hnoJl TIwtoyal '. . . )' The Effecti n .

helpful person. You can overdo trying to please others. nurtur­ ing. . and possessions. You have difficulty expressing your negative feelings such as anger and disappointment and confronting things you don't like in others. time. You are gentle and kind­ hearted and work toward es­ tablishing harmony and re­ conciliation. energy. You can be overprotective and infantilize others and make them dependent on you. applaud. want. You are supportive. You can manipulate others to like you by giving strokes to get strokes. and are feeling. It's hard for you to be asser­ tive and/ or angry. and considerate. You can be out of touch with your own needs. You have an intuitive sense for what others need. generous. You enjoy giving to others . and feelings. You are naturally a giving. You expect appreciation in return for your care. You give love to gain attention and approval. idealized self-image of being lovingand helpful. approve. You can become a compulsive helper. and praise others' gifts. You have the ability to build people up and make them feel good about themselves.50 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You value and are attracted to You can overidentify with the love. You spontaneously appreci­ ate.You are generous with yourself. wants. You are ac­ ceptable only if you are loving and nice. You want to make the world a more loving place to live in.

Curiously enough. you give them a fish so they will need to return to you to be fed. and approachable. You are filled with love from the inside out. like a wellspring. Your sense of worth comes from yourself. " If someone is hungry. You want to be important in someone's life because of all you've done for them. You enj oy helping others grow and supporting them. You may not know how to relate except through help­ ing. You desire to control oth­ ers by being helpful. You are prone to giving ad­ vice. to let them grow up-or to let them fall down.Style 2 51 Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You are sociable. It is difficult to leave others on their own. Love comes from outside in to fill you. friendly. You get anxious when you are alone. You listen with your heart and are nonjudgmental. you teach them how to fish so they can feed themselves. You are a good listener. Your worth comes from being needed and from others' ap­ proval. If someone is hungry. Relationships are what life is all about for you. "Iam somebod yifI'm needed. you may fear intimacy. .

You believe you don't need or don't de­ serve help. You are able to take time out for yourself. it is more blessed to give than to receive. You yourself are enslaved by caring for others to gain self­ worth. it is more blessed to give andto re­ ceive. You believe freedom means being free from needs and be­ ing free from needing others' help. You are able to set others free. You are liable to burn out. . You are interdependent. You are responsive to the unfreedom in others . and you bind others to you because they need you. You are able to say no as well as yes. you accept your own lim­ its and boundaries. Passion: Virtue: Humility Pride Adaptive Emotional Schema: Maladaptive Emotional Schema: When you experience humil­ ity.52 THE ENNEAGRAM Objective Paradigm Distorting Paradigm Freedom Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Codependence Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You understand freedom to mean living within the natu­ ral laws and limits of giving and receiving. You are codependent. You are proud when you be­ lieve you have unlimited re­ sources to give.

You are either not aware of them at all or else you don't want to burden others with your needs. • You received appreciation for your kindnesses . • You found that changing yourself to meet others' needs was preferable to remaining true to yourself and to your own needs. • You found that moving toward others in affection worked better for you than moving againstothers with anger or asser­ tion or moving away from others by detaching yourself. much for yourself. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You got approval for helping and giving and not asking for • You learned how to be sweet. • You had to provide emotional support for your parents­ sometimes to the point of becoming the parent in your family. You are afraid you can't be a helper and be needy at the same time. and charming to get attention and to win affection. you keep them out of your awareness by repressing them. .Style 2 53 Area of Avoidance: Personal Needs You have difficulty getting in touch with and accepting your own needs. You project your needs onto others (so other people are needy. • What you wanted or really needed wasn't empathized with or inquired about . • You discovered that to survive you needed to figure out what the other person wanted and then provide for their wants . but you aren't). cute. Defense Mechanism: Repression Because your own needs make you anxious. • You were made to feel guilty and to believe you were selfish if you expressed your own needs or cared for yourself. • You got rewarded for empathizing with others and making them feel better. • You became needed and important to people by helping them. funny.

• You might try to get people to feel guilty to manipulate them to approve of you and appreciate you. feel victimized and a martyr. • Freedom in relationships where you don't have to be in con­ trol through helping. • Being really known by someone else. • As you approach burnout and exhaustion. • A sense of worth based on who you are vs. depressed. you may become irritable. • Letting others feel good by giving to you. resent others' expectations. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • The joy of receiving without having to earn what you have been given. self-renunciation or ef­ facement. still not get the appre­ ciation you think you deserve. and then reproach others for not caring for you more. • You experienced that pleasing others worked better than pleas­ ing yourself.54 THE ENNEAGRAM • You survived by being dependent on others' approval and by making yourself needed by them through your service. and wonder what it's all about. . • The experience of self-expression vs. the experience of grace . what you can give. including your needs and vulnerabilities . • The inner freedom that comes from an inner sense of approval and security vs. • The experience of intimacy in a reciprocal relationship. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Y our Own Style • You may increase your helping activity. seeking approval from the outside.

Style 2

55

A

Shift to the Low Side of Style 8
tasies) toward those who don't appreciate you enough.

• You may become vengeful and vindictive (at least in your fan­ • You may become a persecutor instead of a rescuer. • You may lose touch with your natural gentleness, become
tough and develop a hard shell to protect your vulnerable self­ esteem.

• You may become bitter, jaded, and distrustful of others. • You may cease helping others (for the time being) and tell them
they're on their own.

• You may try to get others to be dependent on you so you can
have power and control over them.

• Instead of asking for help, you may attempt to be more inde­
pendent and refuse to need others. You may avoid not only your own needs, but any form of weakness.

• You may become less open to others and to yourself.
A

Shift to the High Side of Style 8
inely free of your need for others' approval and appreciation.

• You may get in touch with your real inner power and be genu­ • You may establish stronger self boundaries, claim your own
autonomy, stand on your own two feet, and not alter yourself to gain others' affirmation. • You may take responsibility for your own needs and leave others responsible for their needs.

• You may express yourself honestly and forthrightly instead
of trying to please others and say what you think they want to hear.

56

THE ENNEAGRAM

Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A

Shift to the High Side a/Your Own Style
helping.

• You find sources for your self-worth in other places besides • You get in touch with your own needs, wants, and feelings. • You give yourself permission to take time for yourself and
take time alone for yourself.

• You develop a consistent self that doesn't alter to meet others'
wishes and needs.

• You can negotiate with others as an equal. You are not only
good at helping others express their needs but you can also make sure your own needs are represented and heard.

• You can ask others for help directly vs. indirectly through help­
ing them. You can make straightforward demands on others for what is rightly due you.

• You exercise self-care . You do what you need to do for your­
self. You deserve to care for yourself, and you deserve to be cared for.

• You take a realistic accounting of your assets and limitations
and own both of them. This is what humility means for you.

• You say"no" when you mean"no and"yes when you mean " "
"yes. "

• You let others take care of themselves. You take responsibility
for your needs and let others take responsibility for their needs.

• You give because you want to rather than because you need
appreciation and approval in return.

• You let yourself receive from others. You can let others gift
you.

Style 2

57

A

Shift to the High Side of Style 4
important as anyone else's.
H

• You can say to yourself, IIIam special and so my needs are as • You get in touch with culture and beauty. • You develop your creative, self-expressive side (vs. being self­
effacing) . You can express your needs through creativity.

• You get in touch with your own unique identity and feelings
and inner space. You get in touch with your sadness and re­ gret over abandoning yourself in the service of others .
A

Shift to the Low Side of Style 4
ine expressive spirit.

• You may take on a pretentious, artistic image instead of a genu­ • You may become petulant and demand that others appreciate
you and recognize your specialness.

Style 3 59 Style 3 The Effective Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style Theloyflal 1.. 1.." .:l6.1>0"-' P_ Z.l1w Wile 5.1h Orislnal IP'rnoJl efficient successful get things done motivator enthusiastic pragmatic practical goal-oriented ener getic manager Negative Descriptors of Your Style po pular active d ynamic multi-f aceted organized self -assured marketer industrious team-builder competent mechanical getahead calculating impatient ex pedient workaholic chameleon-like scheming popularizer image-conscious selfpromoting ap pearances jet set success-driven slick political misre presenting overachiever role-playing i ore feelings gn ."'0 " Th� Put@fu. r.1 P. Penon TlwLoy. The Lovlna Prrson l.The Effedtw h� "'"_ f. h� "'.

You can become overly effi­ cient. you are able to organize. You can overidentify with the idealized self-image of being successful and productive such that your worth depends on what you do instead of who you are. You may substitute projects for persons. machine-like. You have the ability to get things done.60 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You are attracted to and value efficiency. . run. As a team leader. and competence. You are unable to slow down or you're afraid to relax. You believe that progress is our most importantproduct. Your worth de­ pends upon how well you can sell yourself or how market­ You can lose your personal identity by conforming to the group image or to the image of what the group wants you to be. You always have to be on the go. you can carry out your own responsibilities. indus­ triousness. and ultra­ programmed. and mo­ tivate a team. You exude confidence and competence and so people are willing to buy you and your product. You are a good energizer. You can become a marketing personalit y able you are. You make a good salesperson. You have the energy to accomplish things and you are able to mo­ tivate others. You possess a natural organi­ zational ability. As a team mem­ ber. You make a good team per­ son. productivity.

You instinctively know what im­ age to present to be success­ ful. You can be chameleon-like. . You perform and achieve in order to get approval. You can become a workaholic. and self-confident. You have tremendous enthusiasm for projects and goals. You can negotiate and compromise to get things accomplished. gregarious. You have the capacity for hard work. You are optimistic. and sociable. enthusias­ tic. Distorted Core Characteristics Your relationships can be utili­ tarian and superficial.Style 3 61 Positive Core Value Tendencies You are friendly. You may deceive yourself and others by only portraying a successful image. You may betray your inner self for the sake of a role and com­ promise. You have an intuitive sense for what people expect. You may sell out and lose your personal self for the sake of a public mask. You exhibit Type A behavior. You are adaptable.

"irtue: TruthfUlness Adaptive Emotional Schema: Passion: Deceit Maladaptive Emotional Schema: You are truthful to your own inner self. out of real emotional pref­ erences. You live out of an image vs. You trust and have hope the world won't stop when you do. . You lose touch with your real feelings and wants and present programmed. Your outer image matches your inner reality. feelings. You can deceive yourself and others into believing that the image presented is your real self. and de­ sires. You believe that the smooth running of the organization or operation or cosmos depends mainly on your interventions. Your own operating rules are more efficient than univer­ sal principles. You are honest and loyal to others.62 THE ENNEAGRAM Obj ective Paradigm Distorting Paradigm Hope Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Efficiency Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You can trust that all will run smoothly even when you're not working. You may come to believe that the end justifies the means. plan­ ned feelings instead. You believe you are above the You operate in harmony with natural life processes and within the social and natural laws. law. You show others what you think they want to see or what looks successful.

• You were loved for what you produced or for the status you achieved.. • Success. you say. organized. and looking good were all emphasized in your family. Defense Mechanism: Identification To keep failure out of your awareness. • Being efficient. winning. • Performance and image were rewarded in place of emotional connections and deep involvements with others. you identify with what­ ever successful mask or role you are playing at the time.Style 3 63 Area of Avoidance: Failure The area you are out of touch with and avoid is failure. there are only learning experiences"). • Your worth depended on what you did instead of who you were. You learned how to perform instead of how to be. You want to present an image of success so you hide anything that may appear less than successful or you reframe happenings in your life (Le. • Playing a role was safer and got you further than being your­ self. • You may have been a precocious child who got approval and attention by being successful at what you did. . getting ahead. and hard-working got you ahead of others. "There are no failures in life. • Being the way other people wanted you to be got you what you wanted. goal-oriented. You identify with your role instead of with yourself. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You were rewarded for your achievements rather than for yourself. but you lost touch with your own feelings and preferences.

• Being yourself. genuine intimate relationships. detachment from success. • You may doubt your self-worth and whether you really do have anything to contribute. . be even more on the go. • The experience of being appreciated for yourself and not for your achievements. doing something because it's worth doing whether it's successful or not. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style projects.e .. • The ability to relax and let others run things or let the uni­ verse run itself. expressing yourself. replacing them with perfor­ mance. • Not being afraid of failing. • Feeling your own feelings vs. put out even more press releases on yourself and your projects.64 THE ENNEAGRAM • Programming yourself and being adaptable helped you to survive. shake more hands. take on more • You may become more concerned about your image and may imitate other roles or models instead of expressing yourself. • You may work harder. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • The security that comes from knowing your worth is based on your self instead of your productions. • Being the master of your work instead of being mastered by your work. i. what others expect of you now. • Knowing your value doesn't depend on market conditions. • Emotional involvement with others resulting from the meet­ ing of two real selves. letting others know you without having to filter yourself through a role or mask.

• You may tum off your smooth running machine and go to bed. • You may replace or numb your real feelings with more work. • You slow down to allow your real feelings and preferences to • You become more introverted and reflective and let your in­ ner self develop . distract yourself. you may avoid it. A Shift to the High Side of Style 9 arise. you may also try to avoid • Instead of dealing with the pain or the problem. or numb yourself. • You may tum to alcohol. etc. • You may give up on your natural efficiency and problem-solv­ ing abilities and say. • You may become resigned to how things are rather than try­ ing to change them. use. • You become more contemplative and receptive to balance your activity. 1/ What's the diU erenCl!' or " What's the • You may doubt yourself instead of trusting your genuine in­ ner responses and desires. . • You are more at peace with yourself and less driven. You go from on to off. both inner conflict and conflict with others. procrastinate. • You may become even more neglectful of your real self. drugs. • Besides wanting to avoid failure.Style 3 65 A Shift to the Low Side of Style 9 conflict. it doesn 't matter. eating. if success and work don't seem fulfilling. from exertion to exhaustion. " • You may seek solutions from outside yourself vs. • You can be at one with another in a self-forgetting manner. from within your own self and potentials.

late others. you stay with it even though it may not be socially applauded and popular. • You want to manifest and actualize what is real and worth­ while vs.). etc. the image that society rewards. You discover your real feelings and tell the truth about them instead of exhibiting what you think you should feel in your role.. /T thine own selfbe true. N o • If you believe in something. • You discover your lost child and develop the real you. blaming it on some­ one else or calling it something different (a learning experi­ ence. fatigue). A for the benefit of others and not just to be successful. This combination makes a good leader. You work • You allow yourself to get in touch with your physical sensa­ tions (i. You consider any lying to be a form of addiction. You can drop out of the rat race.66 THE ENNEAGRAM Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style stead of putting it all into your image or projects. • You accept failure as part of your life vs. • You no longer act so mechanically and efficiently. If it's worth do­ ing. • You save some energy for the development of your self in­ • You resist changing how you present yourself just to manipu­ • You are more honest. • You can trust that the universe is running smoothly and on schedule and it can get along without you from time to time. a partial success. . Shift to the High Side of Style 6 ducts. You can separate yourself from your image. • You are loyal to yourself and others instead of to your pro­ • You are trustworthy as well as competent. you do it even though you may fail.e. • You want to work for society and the common good.

• You cooperate with others vs. • You might become even more obedient and conforming to ex• You could become even more of a company man or woman. • You might lose yourself in some authority figure or guru. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 6 ternal expectations. . You no longer have to be competent about everything. You trust that others can get things done. • You might experience fear and panic as you relax and come back to yourself.Style 3 67 • You can express doubts. compete with them.

Lovl""S ... nu... The Orl&i!lal .. The WiN 5...� ... P. The JoyM 'I.. sensitive ori ginal intense making beautiful involved caring good taste distinctive l eeling quality Negative Descriptors of Your Style class y creative refined intuitive nostalgic aesthetic cultured expressive questing s pecial up and down a1001 dramatic exaggerating possessive complaining precious hi gh-strung clinging snobbish eccentric mourning controlling attention-demanding shifting emotions standoffish elite overl y-senSitive misunderstood . 3. .. Tho Good p.. ....2..... .. - TIM Loyal . TMEft>edl.Style 4 69 Style 4 The Original Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style Tho _ " ......ve "- t...- •• g n.......

like an oyster changes a grain of sand into a pearl. idealized self-image of being special and unique. You can make a cult of art and beauty as an escape from mundane life. You are highly intuitive. You can take what is plain and make it spe­ cial. You put your personal touch on every­ thing you are involved in. You can become an aesthete and artificially cultivate an ar­ tistic sensitivity. You often feel misunderstood because no one experiences things as deeply as you do. You believe you must be unique. You have an innate sense for quality. Like a poet. You favor creative chan­ nels of expression. You have a highly developed aesthetic sense.70 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies You are highly individual and value Distorted Core Characteristics You can overidentify with the ori ginalit y. You have good taste and class. . You are creative and imagina­ tive. You want to make the world a more beautiful place. You may become an eccentric caricature of originality. original. otherwise you are nobody. You value and appreciate beauty. You believe you are so sensi­ tive and your experience is so deep that mere words can't ex­ press it. Your identity and worth de­ pend on your being special. You are in touch with your own and the collective uncon­ scious. You can look down on others for their philistine tastes. You may consider others to be tacky. different. you have an abil­ ity to make the ordinary ex­ traordinary.

and spirit of the group . Your intense emotions may frighten others away. You focus on what is missing in the present. Distorted Core Characteristics Your self boundaries become too permeable such that you take on others' feelings and lose touch with your own feel­ ings and sense of yourself. You are sensitive toward the fragile feelings of hurt.Style 4 71 Positive Core Value Tendencies Your self boundaries are fluid so you can empathize with and understand others' expe­ riences. pain. therefore [ am. " "[ feeL You may live in your roman­ tic fantasies instead of in real life. You can overreact and drama­ tize . dispels boredom. nos­ talgic. You have a strong emotional resonance and responsiveness to life. and helps create a sense of being special. and grief. . You have a sense for the drama and tragedy of life. You feel fulfilled and whole in the present. You are prone to melancholy. You are highly attuned to the feelings. You are romantic. loss. Drama creates excite­ ment. You can become over­ whelmed by your feelings and those of others and not be able to detach and step back from them. You believe your suffering makes you special. tone. poetic. moods. you can be nos­ talgic about paradise lost in the past and yearn for fulfill­ ment in the future.

You see yourself as an aristocrat in exile.72 THE ENNEAGRAM Objective Paradigm Distorting Paradigm Originality Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Specialness Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You are in touch with your real self and feel whole and complete. You have exaggerated. You feel sad because you have become separated from your essential nature. left be­ hind . apart from the main. You believe you al­ ready are original. You feel abandoned. . You appreciate your­ self and your unique parcel of talents. You envy others' relation­ ships and happiness and natu­ ralness . You feel in­ complete. You express a balanced appro­ priate response to inner and outer stimuli. dra­ matic mood swings. You be­ lieve you must do something to make yourself special. You envy others who seem to have something you're miss­ ing. and disoriented . to your roots and to the ground of your being. Virtue: Equanimity Passion: Envy Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Adaptive Emotional Schema: Right now you have every­ thing you need to be perfectly happy. You feel connected to your­ self. You feel at home. lack­ ing. inauthentic. If you make your­ self special. then maybe oth­ ers will remember you and love you.

you're nobody. • You felt abandoned and interpreted that experience to mean there was something wrong with you or you weren't good enough-otherwise you wouldn't have been left behind. • Your mood swings may come from the alternation of a parent being available to you or not or of being kind or cruel. letting go of the past. The ordinary is boring and you want to be exciting. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You originally felt close to a strong parent (often the father). • Then you tried to create yourself into a specialperson that the parent would notice and love. You came to believe that if you were special. When the parent wasn't there. • Your sense of tragedy. If you're ordinary. This melancholy is a familiar companion. . When the parent was there. Yearning and longing are constantly in the back­ ground of your experience. To exist you need to stand out from the crowd. or the parent became busy at work.Style 4 73 Area of Avoidance: Ordinariness You fear the common and ordinary. you felt good about yourself and up. you carry your suffering and loss around inside of you. and it makes you feel special. and suffering may come from some original experience of being abandoned. then that parent went away (perhaps because your parent died. and getting on with your life. you felt badabout yourself and down. • You felt expelled from the garden of love and are now longing to be readmitted. or the parent withdrew for some other emotional reason) . loss. or a sibling was born. or your parents divorced. Defense Mechanism: Introjection Instead of simply grieving. then others would pay attention to you and wouldn't leave you.

• Intimacy. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • The spontaneous expression of your thoughts and feelings. com­ plain and blame more. you may become either passive-aggressive and suffer. • A balanced. other­ wise you weren't noticed. • Instead of being assertive and expressing your anger cleanly. • Really having what you want vs. • You came to believe that being ordinary or calm meant being nobody or being boring. or you may become aggressive and vindictive and vengeful. . • The sense of being connected by your common humanity. being close to others without fear of rejection of be­ ing abandoned. • Your mood swings may widen. • You got attention and your identity from living at the edges. with your lows becoming lower and your highs higher. be­ ing a part of the whole instead an island . Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style • You may channel your feelings into your body and become physically ill instead of letting your feelings energize and guide your actions.74 THE ENNEAGRAM • You received attention if you were sick or suffering. • You found you could compete successfully in the arena of style and flair. yearning for it. • The sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with who you are and what you have. at the extremes. • Living intensely or living in your romantic world made you feel more special and important than living in the world as it is . modulated life style. • You felt alive especially when you made yourself f eelintensely.

You might become more possessive or more aloof. • You may become more manipulative instead of asking directly for what you want or taking action to get what you want. . it stops the suffering. so 111 help • You could become a suffering servant. you become sensitive toward others. it gets even with others. /I What's the use. I'm beyond re pair. it lets them realize what they've done to you and how much they'll miss you. a martyr." Shift to the High Side of Style 2 your self-absorption.Style 4 75 • As you feel worse about yourself or consider it's your fault that things aren't as you would like them. a sacrificial victim. • Your issues around dependence and independence may be­ come exaggerated. • You may repress your feelings instead of expressing them di­ rectly. suicidal thoughts may preoccupy you more. Instead of being sensitive to­ ward yourself. • You may say. • You can genuinely care for and serve people and get out of • You can accurately empathize with others. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 2 attend more to others' needs . A others. • You may throw yourself into work and become hyperactive to avoid dealing with your real issues. • You may move away from people and isolate yourself more. Suicide may have several functions: it makes you special. • You can move towards others as well as away from them. • You may avoid dealing with your own needs and wishes and • You might flee into service instead of healing yourself.

You don't exaggerate your response or heighten the stimuli. You stay with the facts. • You stay in the here and now and realize that right now you have all you need to be happy. . • You realize you are already original. bemoan­ ing your fate.You do your work ob­ jectively. A Shift to the High Side of Style 1 think about what you can do about the problem vs. • You maintain a sense of proportion. the exaggerated feelings that come from the excitement of your moods. You • You focus on one feeling at a time. Put your show on the road instead of overrehearsing.76 THE ENNEAGRAM Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style centric or make yourself special. you do some­ thing. You move from an addiction to romance and fantasy to action in real life. What are you feeling now? And what do you want to do about it? You stay specific and resist generalizations and dramatizations. • You pay attention to your real feelings vs. equanimity. • You can find the extraordinary in the ordinary. • You take an action-oriented. problem-centered approach. You don't just yearn there. You use your envy to help you locate and appreciate the values in others and to find those values in yourself. balance. • You accept your unique parcel of talents and don't compare yourself with others. You do exactly what the situation requires. outside you. You switch from a passive victim stance to be­ ing an active agent. You don't have to be ec­ • You can be spontaneous and let yourself go instead of being so composed. You search for and find the beloved within you vs.

1/1 am good' or I'm good enough as I am' in­ 1/ stead of 1/I'm notgood enough. • You may get messianic about your fantasies and become emo­ tionally overinvolved with your idealistic principles." You reown your own strength. and use it to get what you want instead of turning your anger against your­ self. feeling depressed. goodness. focus it. • You realize that realistic isn't necessarily philistinistic. . • You can commit yourself to being in the world even though it is flawed and unfulfilling. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 1 • You may throw yourself into work and become hyperactive. You contribute to something you believe in.Style 4 77 • You can say. and believing you don't deserve or can't attain what you want. and wholeness. "I do my life's work!" must • You can become overly critical of your relationships. You ask directly for what you want and state your needs directly. • You can get in touch with your anger.

1.. hnon 7. h. P.. .. -'''''' OrigIn..- "" '_"'0 '. The loYins r_ 3..o1 thoughtful scholarly reflective truth-seeking prudent observant witty pithy reasonable logical Negative Descriptors of Your Style pect circums clear understanding nonintrusive philoso phical perce ptive cool inf ormed anal yzer/synthesizer o perate alone miserly overly-detached tmf eeling uncaring avoid commitment cold head y postpone action contemptuous reclusive abstract intellectual uncommunicative greed y hidden hoarder vicarious ex perience holding back f off ear eelings .. Ef&d:ive ... n...Style 5 79 Style 5 The Wise Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style The Joyful ...."" """" PeNOfl 2. The Wile S. T1le Loyal &.......

think. . You can be overly intellectual. You may be afraid of and out of touch with your feelings. " Your passions are of the mind. You can become overly ana­ l ytical and skeptical. You are a fair. and integrating different points of view and disparate elements. You may not make a decision or act until you have the certi­ tude that you have all the facts. synthesizing. You are a perceptive. You may be unwilling to con­ sider others' perceptions and ideas. You are good at abstracting. You may stay in the observer position on the sidelines and not participate in life. therefore I am. For you. insight­ ful. You want to know ev­ erything before you do any­ thing. nonjudgmental witness. You have the ability to objec­ tively and dispassionately ob­ serve. You may be unwilling to dis­ close your own position. too much out of your head and forget you also have feel­ ings and a body. knowledge. original thinker. under­ standing.80 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies You value and are attracted to Distorted Core Characteristics You can overidentify with the wisdom.Your questioning can interfere with your acting. You want to discover what really is. theint eUect is a person's highest faculty. You are a seeker of truth. '7 idealized seU-image of being wise and perce ve You live pti .

Style 5

81

Positive Core Value Tendencies You are a good listener. You are gentle, patient, and non­ threatening. You have the ability to get to the essence or heart of the matter. You can peer through extraneous details to get to basic structures. You can communicate in clean, clear, concise state­ ments about what the issue really is.

Distorted Core Characteristics You may not contribute much to conversations. You let oth­ ers do all the talking. You can reduce life to bare dry bones (X-ray pictures) and miss the juicy, meaty aspects of life.

You can be stingy with your communications. You speak in epigrams or one-liners and are unwilling to elaborate on what you've said.

You have an appreciation for solitude.

You can be addicted to pri­ vacy. You have an exaggerated need for space and anonym­ ity.

You are independent and re­ sourceful.

You can be a loner who wants to do everything out of your own resources.

You are reserved, respectful, and nonintrusive.

You have overdeveloped the tendency to move a way from people. And it's difficult for you to move forward with ei­ ther affection or assertion,

82

THE ENNEAGRAM

Objective Paradigm Understanding/Transparency

Distorting Paradigm

Intellectualization/ Anonytnify
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema:

Adaptive Cognitive Schema:

Your wisdom and under­ standing come from experi­ ence, participation, and in­ volvement. You know with your body-feelings-mind.

Your knowledge comes too ex­ clusively through your per­ ceptions and watching and intellect. You know through your head or vicarious expe­ rience.

You share your inner life to enrich the world . You freely give what you have freely re­ ceived. You are generous with your self, feelings, ideas, and time.

You desire anonymity, to hide and observe. You want to see but not be seen.

\rtrbue: LJetachtnent
Adaptive Emotional Schema:

Passion: Avarice
Maladaptive Emotional Schema:

You possess the spirit of non­ attachment. You take what you need and let the rest go.

You are greedy. To avoid an in­ ner sense of emptiness or feel externally dependent on oth­ ers, you fill yourself and store up in yourself information and materials.

You express a balanced appro­ priate response to inner and outer stimuli.

You hoard information and hold onto what you have and know. You are stingy with your time, possessions, ideas, feelings, and self.

Style 5

83

Area of Avoidance:

Emptiness

Since you repress your feelings and minimize your intimate in­ teractions with others, you can experience a sense of inner emp­ tiness. You may believe you have nothing to offer. You are search­ ing for the meaning of life. You also fear being emptied by oth­ ers and so withdraw and hold on tight.

Defense Mechanism: Isolation
To avoid feeling empty, you isolate yourself in your head away from your feelings and people. You go to your thoughts where you feel full and comfortable. You also isolate or compartmen­ talize one time or period of your life from the next.

How the Distortion of This Style Developed

• You may have experienced an early separation from your
mother so an initial bonding with her didn't take place and you withdrew into yourself.

• You experienced your mother and/ or father (and so the world)
as being depriving and withholding. So you became depriv­ ing, too, both toward others and toward yourself.

• You may have experienced your parents as being too intru­
sive, so you withdrew to protect your boundaries.

• You may have felt overprotected, smothered, or engulfed, so
you retreated into your mind or into books.

• You discovered that the best offense was a good defense. • You found that being invisible was a good way to survive. It's
hard to hit a target you can't see.

• You can't be blamed for what you never said. If people don't
know what you're thinking, they can't criticize you.

• You didn't feel listened to, so you didn't speak unless you
were sure people wanted to hear you.

• You were successful with academics and were rewarded for
being studious.

• Your inner world became safer, more secure, more control­
lable and more interesting than the outer world.

• You may repress your feelings more or channel them into fan­ tasies instead of into behavior. • Instead of expressing your needs and negotiating. • Self-confidence. • The energy and aliveness and power of your own emotions which are your allies. you may withdraw further and fall more silent. • The fun and excitement of being in the game instead of keep­ ing yourself on the sidelines . either • You might feel more inadequate and think you are unable to influence the situation. • You may back up more and move up into your control tower in your head instead of moving down to get grounded in your feelings and body and then moving out into interactions. . • The joy and fulfillment of giving. bodily person. • Instead of moving out to make contact with people.84 THE ENNEAGRAM • The expression of feelings---especially anger or any exuber­ ant feelings-were not encouraged in your family. so you may do nothing. belonging. mutual personal relation­ ships. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Y our Own Style through assertion or affection. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • The delights of being a sensual. apart from) humanity. • The experience of being a part of (vs. • The deep satisfactions of intimate. believing that the world is non-negotiable. you take your ball and bat and go home and refuse to play in the game. not your enemies . feeling connected. • The meaning that comes from becoming involved and engaged with life. • The experience of trust and cooperation instead of trying to do everything yourself.

You may freeze people out instead of engaging with them or inviting them in. • You might get into planning what you'll do the next time in­ stead of doing something this time. • Your imagination and visualizing capabilities may be en­ • You can use your humor to help you move toward people and be more sociable and friendly. and feel more alienated and iso­ lated. • You might let your fear of suffering or getting hurt prompt you to avoid them by retreating. • You may become contemptuous of others instead of interact­ ing with them. A Shift to the High Side of Style 7 hanced. Instead you may distract yourself with superficial diversions or pursue many interests at once rather than completing any one. disconnect. • You may unplug. • You may give up on your ability to analyze and go in depth into the matter at hand. . intellectualize.Style 5 85 • You may hold in your anger and become cold-like dry ice. You might become flighty and un­ dependable. systematize. • You are more spontaneous and use play as a way of taking the edge off social encounters. • You may tum to humor to lighten the situation and make it seem less important to avoid asserting yourself. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 7 and spiritualize to avoid taking action. • You might look for what is good in the situation so you won't have to voice your displeasure at what you don't like. You may become critical and cynical as ways of avoiding contact. • You may get more into your head.

without preconceptions. A Shift to the High Side of Style 8 and influence the situation. You challenge and let go of your addiction to isola­ tion and privacy. You come out in the open instead of trying to be invisible . a container that is always open to the here and now. You may discover it is really a fertile void. You can say to yourself. • You own your relational powers. especially hurt and anger. • You allow yourself to be transparent. You do have something to offer. intuitions. and enlarge others instead of defending yourself from others or holding back from them. protect. • You are in touch with your personal power. • You can successfully challenge your fear of looking foolish and your fear of making a mistake. and feelings. You trust your inner perceptions. You can change I can do. you listen with your heart as well as your head. and structures. N . You let yourself be known and seen. You are open to what is there and trust your spontaneous response. You let them energize and express your real self. • You stay with your sense of emptiness instead of trying to avoid it or fill it. categories. You apply your knowledge instead of keeping it to yourself. • You can come to each person and situation empty. You move toward. You are in touch with your inner authority and stand up for what you believe in. /7am powerful. • You empathize as well as analyze. You don't let them stop you from doing what you want. • You get in touch with your feelings. You don't have to know ev­ erything before you choose and act.86 THE ENNEAGRAM Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style enrich.

You can move against. • You consult your body. heart. You are in touch with your instinctual energy. You put p yourself out in the world. and feelings as well as your head. You can say what you want or don't want. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 8 become mean and cruel and use your power to grasp. You can set limits instead of retreating. You can ask for what you need. instincts. • You use your power and assertion to establish and maintain stronger boundaries. instead of u into your thoughts and a way from the situation. You may • You may exaggerate your independence and isolation and become more anti-social.Style 5 87 • You can own your assertive powers. hold on and remain stingy instead of being magnanimous and gener­ ous. • You may become vindictive with a dose of paranoid thinking. . • You move "down and out" vs. • You may become aggressive instead of assertive. You balance input with output. You stay in the ring and don't jump out at the first sign of pain or opposition. pull back. "up and away": down into your feelings and gut reactions and out into action. You reach out vs.

"'- ThlJ8)'fuI 1.. 5... -. . cautious reliable traditional God-f earing respectful loyal res ponsible trustworthy sensible determined Negative Descriptors of Your Style pre pared conscientious stabilizing charming prudent honorable tenacious devil's advocate authority conscious dogmatic sus pecting ri gid uptight catastro phizing authoritarian phobic/counterphobic timid assume worst indecisive wary conservative vigilante rule-follower or challenger anxious status quo worrier uncertain need f guidelines or security conscious .. . " .......Tlle llwizla ..... - '... 2...Style 6 89 Style 6 The Loyal Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style Tho .""'''''' ""' . TIle w. .. f)'..The Oripnal . TheLvral 6. .................TM &ffwdhoe ....

While you are ac­ cepting of those inside the fold. you keep it. . If you say you'll do something. You can polarize reality and your relationships into friend or foe. You are able to foster. It may be difficult for you to change or reconsider your loyalties. in or out. You make a gracious host or hostess. you do it.90 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies You are attracted to and value Distorted Core Characteristics You can overidentify with the loyalty. You can become rigid and in­ flexible. Your faith and devotion may be given blindly or attached to the wrong ideal. You may become authoritar­ ian or anti-authoritarian. You are pro­ tective of those in your care. and parent others. You honor your com­ mitments. support. You are loyal and dedicated to your cause and group. You are responsible and can be counted on to do what you're told or what you promise. for me or against me. You are faithful to relation­ ships. When you give your word. You can become overprotect­ ing. You make a devoted follower or leader. you can become a perse­ cutor of those outside the fold. and restrict­ ing. idealized self-image of being loyal and doingyour duty. You have a balanced attitude toward external authority and you trust your own inner au­ thority. smothering. You can be either overly fear­ ful and dependent on authori­ ties or' overly challenge them to test whether they deserve their authority and your alle­ giance.

serious. You may be overly cautious and spread fear and alarm. You are respectful and rever­ ent towards others. and obsequious. You can be an adventurous explorer. You are prudent and cautious. You may believe you need to prove yourself by your daring or your duty. You can become ultraconser­ vative. You are semperfidelis. You are cooperative. You have an appreciation for your heritage. You are a crisis. You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Distorted Core Characteristics You may exaggerate your ap­ preciation for structure and order into a paranoid police state. You can be stuffy. fearful. You can be super-orthodox and conservative. You restrict your spontaneity.Style 6 91 Positive Core Value Tendencies You have respect for law and order. always faithful and constant. You may be fearful of and uncomfortable with any­ thing new. You honor your past. //Be careful oryou'Ugethurt. ways prepared and ready for . and worrisome. You may be either excessively compliant or rebellious. semper paratus. " You have a sense of propriety. al­ You are wary.

Virtue: You are in touch with your own and others' inner judge and critic which makes you nervous and fearful.92 THE ENNEAGRAM Objective Paradigm Distorting Paradigm Faith Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Doubt/Dogma Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You have faith in a balanced and trustworthy world. You believe you are already connected to. You perceive the world as alien. or at least is testing you to see whether you'll be faith­ ful and acceptable. spirit. Courage Passion: Fear Adaptive Emotional Schema: Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Your strength comes from be­ ing in harmony with your in­ ner self and with the objective laws of the universe. and on the side of the ground of your being. You believe the force is against you. not to do you in. and dangerous. Fear puts you out of touch with your real self and the real world and so you need to cre­ ate a substitute strength and bravado. and au­ thority and with others' genu­ ine selves which puts you at ease. phobic by You may become counter­ recklessly pushing through your fears and forcing yourself to do what . threatening. You are naturally courageous when you need to be. You spontaneously respond well in crises. trusted by. You are in touch with your own essence. You believe the universe is out to do you good. You auto­ matically give your allegiance to authority or you doubt au­ thority and yourself. You believe the force is with you. and this gives rise to fear and suspicion in you. hostile.

or following your own inner authority to be deviant. So boundaries were established between guarded against. unlawful. you seek to be loyal and obedient. and unacceptable. You are motivated by your heart and what you genuinely believe in. • Your parents may have been overly protective. Area of Avoidance: You are driven by fear and doubt. you con­ sider any disobedience. evade. and you need to monitor their activities and bring them in line with your authority's principles. rebelliousness. If you are counter-fearful. or phobic by dying a thousand deaths through your cowardice and worry. Other peo ple are trying to get away with things. Defense Mechanism: Projection You project onto others your own sense of disobedience and re­ bellion. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • Your parents may have been authoritarian. • You learned that the world was a dangerous place to be • There may have been some family secret that needed to be kept inside the family. They had a fearful attitude toward life which you picked up . paying attention to what you wanted or thought or felt.Style 6 93 you're afraid of. Deviance If you are fearful. or escape from authority. • You had to please your parents and do what you were told vs. or others are trying to trip you up and trap you. you become rebellious and seek to challenge. . They laid down the rules and you had to follow them.

The freedom of the children of God: freedom from the law vs. • A sense of inner security. • You decided to rebel against authority as a way to survive since the people who were authorities in your life abused their authority and couldn't be trusted. others. Familial bonds and loyalty arose against the outside world. and a higher • • • • • power. and so you began to doubt authority. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style keep you. obedient. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style • You may become more indecisive and worrisome. and hard­ • You had to assume the role of an adult before you were ready. the law would • You got approval for being responsible. what you ought. • You found security in being close to authority. You became the family caretaker. • As you become more fearful. enslavement and idolatry toward it. • Being able to do what you want vs. Being carefree. life. Being inner-directed instead of outer-directed. you may worry more about . Trust in yourself and others. • You came to believe that if you kept the law. working. A gracious approach to life. • A relaxed attitude toward yourself. role and so you began to doubt yourself. the law is for you and not vice versa. • You felt incompetent because you weren't ready for this adult • Or you experienced a parent as being incompetent.94 THE ENNEAGRAM inside and outside .

• You may start to deceive yourself and others about who you really are. playing your part. As a result. You might become more dogmatic and set in your beliefs and become more intolerant of other points of view. You might trust your inner authority less. • You may want to avoid any semblance of rebellion or inde­ pendent thought. run around in circles in your head by obsessing and worrying. you may speed up and become busier. etc. You may become more suspicious of others. being faithful. • Not only might you A • Shift to the High Side of Style 3 You get in touch with your capacity to take action. And you may also begin to avoid any form of failure. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 3 • Instead of relaxing. what you really think and feel. • Instead of dealing with your inner issues. • You may try to please authority and win them over by work­ ing hard. You may act out against authority. You feel better when you are in action. you might distract yourself with external matters and take on more projects. . reactive. becoming more rebellious and belligerent. • You connect with your own competence and mastery to be­ come proactive vs. doing what you're told. You may believe you need to prove yourself even more. your inner and outer freedom will be­ come less and less. and what you really want. but you may engage your gears and literally run around in circles in frantic activity to avoid deal­ ing with your inner issues or to prove yourself and gain authority's or others' approval. • You may try to substitute some external role for the inner se­ curity you're really seeking.Style 6 95 • • • • whether you're brave enough to do what is required of you.

So you don't have to prove yourself to get in. You develop a realistic belief in yourself and your abilities. You now follow the spirit of the law vs. You trust your inner compass and desires. being dependent on oth­ ers' opinions. and you don't have to worry about being thrown out. You can consider the positive outcomes as well as the nega­ tive ones. You trust that others aren't trying to get away with something. You develop the courage to be. Now you can think of what might go right to motivate yourself to act. especially authority's pronouncements. the letter. You don't project hostile intentions onto others. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style You become more autonomous vs. You trust your instinctual ability to protect and preserve your­ self and those you love. You don't have to be a slave to them. You are already in the game. You believe they're trying to do the best they can. You believe that what you really want is what God wants for you. Your old inclination was to consider what could go wrong and that stopped you from acting. • • • • • • . You focus on what you can do vs. You were your own worst enemy. You can affirm yourself. You are secure within yourself instead of seeking security from out­ side yourself. You accept responsibility for your choices and act bravely. You can challenge your fears-are they realistic or mythical? • You trust your own instincts. You realize that nothing can harm your essence. You recognize that rules are there for your benefit.96 THE ENNEAGRAM • You can channel your energy into goals and concrete plans instead of into fears and worst-case scenarios. on what might go wrong. viewpoints and inner authority. You realize you are already a part of the operation or organi­ zation.

You calm your waters and let the solution surface. You may find it hard to prioritize and discern what you really want. You can say. • You have the rela:xed mind set. II I am upset. You can say to your­ self. that' vs . IISo w hat ifI do this or think II • You can relax and float and let the stream support you. • You may become even more doubtful. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 9 cisive. the fearful and indecisive mind set of II What ifI do this or that?"You can go with the flow and trust the process. You realize the solution lies within you. III am settled' vs. • You may numb yourself out or put yourself into some routine to avoid anxiety-provoking situations." • You can be still and quiet. ruminating. You realize that struggling is not the solution. and inde­ • You may find yourself procrastinating and doing unimpor­ tant things to distract yourself from doing what you really need to do. . you make mole­ hills out of mountains. • Instead of making mountains out of molehills.Style 6 97 A Shift to the High Side of Style 9 • You practice self-soothing and calming. • You can find the truth in all sides of an issue instead of polar­ izing the issue and making one side all true and the other side all false. What's the big deal' in­ stead of making a big deal out of everything.

Style 7 The Joyful Person
Positive Descriptors of Your Style

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Person

T1u! Loyal e.
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Style 7

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1.1be EffediVe

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li hthearted g o ptimistic friendly enthusiastic creative visionary gregarious imaginative joyful merrymaking
Negative Descriptors of Your Style

extroverted excitable preciative ap fun-loving funny entertaining lively planning brig ht spontaneous

su perficial loquacious narcissistic cosmic space y distracted indul gent li ht-headed g impulsive irres ponsible

inconsistent unreliable daydreamer spotli ht-grabbing g sybaritic scattered unrealistic escapist naive dabbler

100

THE ENNEAGRAM

Positive Core Value Tendencies

Distorted Core Characteristics

For you the purpose of life is to enjoy it. You value joy.

You can overidentify with the

joie de vivre about you.

There is a delight, sparkle, and

sure principle and become overly attached to pleasure.

idealized seU-image of being okay. You can overdo the plea­

You are a celebrator of life.

You can become addicted to highs. You may not be willing to en­ dure hard labor to get what you want. You may be unwilling to fol­ low up your initial enthusi­

You have a great appreciation for life. Everything is recog­ nized as gift.

You have a childlike respon­ siveness to the world. You are in touch with the immediacy of things.

asm with the boring work nec­ essary to realize the project. The seed sprang up immedi­ cause it didn't put down roots.

ately but withered away be­

You

growth, hope, and resurrec­ tion now.

are an advocate of

You may trust only excite­ and joy and forget that growth , also takes place in cold, dark silence. ment, fireworks, consolation,

silver lining in black clouds.

look on life. You can find the

You have an optimistic out­

Your computer is set on

"'Two prisoners looked out

f rom prison bars; one sa w mud, the other saw stars. "

world through rose-colored glasses.

is not nice. You can be a com­ pulsive optimist seeing the

and nothing is allowed in that

nice

Style 7

101

Positive Core Value Tendencies

Distorted Core Characteristics

new ideas.

You have a creative imagina­ tion and are a wellspring of

You may confuse your map and plan with reality and action.

You are lively, vivacious, and colorful.

You may be unwilling to look at the dark side of pain and suffering.

You are friendly and gregari­ people up. ous and are good at cheering

main superficial.

Your relationships may re­

" ale fellow H

weUmet. "
You may live your stories in­ stead of your life.

You are a natural entertainer and storyteller.

You are a visionary, a long­ range planner. You can generate endless pos­ sibilities. You are an intuitive person.

You can get into head trips in­ stead of doing serious work. You can become a dilettante and jump from one interest to another without digesting anything thoroughly or with­ out completing any project.

then you are also living in accordance with the cosmic plan or the divine scheme of things. and spicing up life with excitement and fluff. it isn't worth doing and you don't stay with it for long. then you are not participating in the larger scheme of things. You understand that each person has a part to play in the evo­ lution of humankind. taking in only as much as you need and expending only as much energy as is called for. When you lose touch with your real self and live out of your personality. Virtue: Sobriety Passion: Gluttony Adaptive Emotional Schema: Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Sobriety means living in the present and living a balanced life. Gluttony means overindul­ gence. . Work can be play when you do what you love doing. planning future fun­ filled events.102 THE ENNEAGRAM Objective Paradigm Distorting Paradigm Work Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Pleasure/Planning Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When you are living in touch with your real self. You substi­ tute your own plans and search for pleasure in place of deeper satisfactions . If it isn't fun.

or you are aware of it but are unwilling to show it to others since your job is to cheer people up. not weigh them down with your problems. And so you didn't learn how to deal with them�xcept by avoiding them. • Even if you experienced adversity in your childhood.Style 7 103 Area of Avoidance: Pain and Suffering Since you want to appear happy and okay. or at least you turned it into being happy or you remember it as being happy. you learned to laugh about it to survive. • You may have been shielded from hurt and pain or didn't experience much of either. You automatically look for the good in everything. • You got more enjoyment from planning projects than from executing them . you are uncomfort­ able with and find unacceptable any form of pain. . or they were more interested in your stories than in your hurt or pain. you sublimate it and tum it into something interesting or good. and for keeping things light. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You found that a cheerful. • You learned that your smiles elicited smiles from others. • Your childhood was basically a happy one. pleasant disposition earned ap­ proval from others and got you what you needed. • People may have listened to your stories more than to your real self. You may ei­ ther be out of touch with the pain in your life. • Entertaining others and being the life of the party got you at­ tention. not complain­ ing. Defense Mechanism: Sublimation To keep pain out of your awareness. So you might celebrate the new life of a deceased loved one rather than mourn their loss. • You were rewarded for cheering up the family.

Not being afraid of the dark. The tranquility of solitude. The experience of growth in desolation. You may get more into planning and further away from do­ ing. and sublimate more. silence. the negative as well as the positive. You might try to avoid the present pain by imagining future or past pleasures. • • • • • . and inner stillness. Experiencing the full range of emotions. You may intellectualize. spiritualize.104 THE ENNEAGRAM • You may have learned that what you don't see won't hurt you. Meeting your Shadow and discovering its riches. Thoroughly understanding something. A deep character that is etched by perseverance and suffering and endurance. You may avoid doing hard work in favor of making fu­ ture plans. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • A • • • • • • • • sense of inner strength and satisfaction that comes from working hard at something and accomplishing it. You may continue attempting to outrun your fears by looking for more parades to lead or join. and not take yourself seriously. laugh off the situation. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style You may get more into your head. Deep interpersonal relationships based on sharing all of your­ self. You may attempt to lighten things up even more. not just the bright or light sides.

. • You may become angry and resentful that your life is not as • You may express your anger through sarcastic wit or critical remarks or through resentment and believing that life isn't fair-or at least not fun enough. you may become depressed. A Shift to the High Side of Style 1 through on your plans and projects. • You may give up trying to look okay. Your joyful expectations are not being met. • You may complain and blame others for raining on your pa­ rade. You begin to notice what is missing instead of what is there. • You attend to details and sweat the small stuff vs.Style 7 105 A Shift to the Low Side of Style 1 enjoyable as you would like it to be. • You take a more objective delineated point of view in place of a fantastic impressionistic vision. spoiling your fun. • You may give up on your natural appreciation for life and your spontaneous ability to find good in everything and be­ gin to become critical and caustic toward yourself and others. You may stop smiling. • If you get too critical or too disappointed. popping your balloons. you can be motivated by what is the right thing to do or what is called for. • You may avoid and deny your anger as well as avoiding pain and suffering. bringing them to comple­ tion. but probably not for long. • You may swing from being optimistic to being pessimistic. Others are keeping you from realizing all your fantastic schemes. • You can become more disciplined and focused and follow • Instead of doing what is pleasurable. going cos­ mic with global impressions.

A Shift to the High Side of Style 5 a lightweight or scatterbrained. You are thorough and methodical.106 THE ENNEAGRAM Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style • You can be present to all that is there: the good and the bad. you can express your anger or be assertive. etc. • You chew and digest instead of gulping down indiscriminately. 1/1 am wise andperce ptive' vs. • Instead of making light of a situation. the pleasurable andthe painful. Truth involves honoring both polarities. • You can stay in the here and now and resist projecting your­ self into the future. /'[am • You can channel your energies and stay focused instead of • You stay with what you're doing and thoroughly investigate it until you really understand it. • You put your creative bursts and intuitions into some system and structure. • You can say to yourself. You do what you're doing instead of mak­ ing future plans. " scattering and getting distracted. you believe that desolation and darkness can be growth-producing. . • You trust that if you let go of your wings and balloons. the light and the dark. Even if you do get heavy. • You stay with the pain instead of trying to avoid it. And even if you do. sublimate it. you won't fall into the tomb . • You believe that your insights are important enough to work towards actualizing them. • You do what is worth doing. you know you won't crash. You aren't afraid to take yourself and the situation seriously. You realize happiness is contin­ gent upon your doing your share of social and personal work. rationalize it. • You can be sober. the yin andthe yang. This helps you take the next step of action.

A Shift to the Low Side of Style 5 • You may withdraw and try to disappear.Style 7 107 • You learn to appreciate silence and aloneness . • You might become more unhinged from reality and more glued to your fantasies and ideas. • You may compound your gluttonous life style with being ava­ ricious and desirous of accumulating even more possessions and experiences . You develop your interiority. You can move back a little from what's going on instead of losing yourself in what's happen­ ing. • You watch vs. You can take the position of the fair witness. the detached observer. • You can be still and observant. react. • You practice detachment. .

.... ... WiN�. 'T'IwloJal 6..g. ... 1... .Style 8 109 Style 8 The Powerful Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style ""P-"d '-' t. .... . U&din . - on..al ... 'I'M 0rifP...yfId 7.. .. f orceful strong direct assertive ownperson autonomous influential hardworking hi ener gh gy confident Negative Descriptors of Your Style magnanimous strong-willed no nonsense take lead f air just honorable f earless assured competent vengeful unrefined macho bravuro geteven possessive overwhelming intimidating loud gruff bull y insensitive non-listening calloused tough domineering belligerent dictatorial chip-on-shoulder confrontive .......""''''' . .. "'3....Ttu!�1II "- nu... l'heJ.

You can become a dictator. You can be magnanimous and use your personal power to contribute to and build up the community. You use your influence to bring about good. You influence by in­ timidation. You can exhibit an exagger­ ated independence and take pride in doing your own thing. You can be self-aggrandizing and use your power against the community. You value being your own person. . bully. You use your power to protect yourself instead of to help oth­ ers. You can be overly blunt and crude. and tell it like it is. You are independent and au­ tonomous. and use it. You know how to get it.110 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristic You are attracted to and ap­ preciate power. self­ assured and have a healthy self-image. keep it. You can overidentify with the idealized self-image of being powerful and capable. You are self-confident. straightfor­ ward. godfather or godmother. Your presence can be over­ bearing and intimidating. You are direct. You have the ability to inspire others to accomplish great things. You make a strong leader like a matriarch or a patriarch. honest. You can coerce others by mak­ ing them an offer they can't refuse. You can become addicted to power and control and rely on it to manipulate others.

lenge. ers' defenses and vulnerabili­ ties in your unmasking of their pretensions. enthusiasm. You are often the topdog and can oppress others. You are energized by chal­ heard because you yell the loudest. You can be insensitive to oth­ You are able to cut through phoniness and fluff to get to the real issue. and great energy. You do everything with gusto. You have a concern for the un­ derdog and will fight on his/ her behalf. path. You can take charge in difficult situations." You may run roughshod over others or alienate them by tak­ ing over. You believe in "no bullshit. You get You are assertive and know how to get what you want. You can intimidate and mes­ merize others into following you.Style 8 111 Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristic You can be a charismatic and inspiring person. You can be driven and use up people and things in your . You can be aggressive.

So you want to get them be­ fore they get you. You have the attitude. " V engeance is mine. V engeance is mine. getting even to maintain the balance of power. You believe in the equal distribution of power. " II saith the Eight. You have experienced aggres­ sion towards you in the past. Innocence means not harm­ ing. You believe in "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. You can be possessive. grabby. comes around . You come to each situation jaded. So you need to create your own truth and take justice into your own hands. HWhy should I want to harm anyone and why would any­ one want to harm me?" You are satisfied with life as it is. and demanding. . You are capable of ex­ periencing each moment fresh without expectations and pre­ judgments. You judge that what is hap­ pening isn't fair. or to be taken advantage of. expecting trouble. " Virtue: Innocence Adaptive Emotional Schema: Passion: Lust Maladaptive Emotional Schema: You possess a childlike inno­ cence. meaning you do everything to excess. You are therefore ready for a fight." Justice becomes vengeance. You believe that what goes around. You are lustful.112 THE ENNEAGRAM Objective Paradigm Distorting Paradigm Justice Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Vindication Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You have an appreciation for justice and equity. You trust the fairness of the universe. saith the Lord.

• You may have felt yourself to be a victim of injustice. kindness. you deny any presence of it. you get even. • You may have learned that in your family you don't get mad. You are out of touch with your feminine side.Style S 113 Area of Avoidance: Weakness Since you want to appear strong. so you grew up blaming the world. • Since the world seemed to be arbitrary or unjust. you felt more secure when you took control. compassion. '7 don 't hurt. I don 't needyou. you got your way. You had the ability to take charge. and you enjoyed being power­ ful. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You may have been abused as a child and so became tough and aggressive in order to protect yourself. • You learned never to give a sucker an even break. I'm not sentimental. You avoid tenderness. etc. • You had to grow up fast and be hard to take care of yourself. • If a situation seemed threatening or falling apart. I'm not nice. . • You learned that when you challenged others or bullied them. • You were instructed to fight back and not put up with insults or injustices. • You realized you had a lot of energy and forcefulness. • You may have witnessed considerable fighting and aggres­ sion in your family. • You learned never to show weakness if you wanted to sur­ vive. you must avoid any semblance of weakness. Defense Mechanism: Denial To prevent weakness from showing up in your awareness or persona. you learned to make and follow your own rules. "etc. as unbefitting a powerful person.

• Instead of exploding. • The capacity to relax. • Experiencing your own tenderness and softness and gentle­ ness.114 THE ENNEAGRAM What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • Being comforted by others and being touched by their care. . you implode your energy and suck it inside yourself. You may isolate yourself from others. and posses­ sive to fill up feeling empty inside. • You may turn your power against yourself and beat up on yourself for your perceived weaknesses and injustices. to be present. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 5 move away from people instead of toward them. • Being able to live with weakness instead of always having to deny it. • You may attempt to take more control and assume more power to feel secure. • Experiencing others' goodness and goodwill instead of an­ ticipating their affronts . • You may give up on your own power and withdraw. You send your anger out first to cover the hurt or sadness or disappointment you may really be feeling. • Having someone speak up for you. Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style gressive and tough. grabby. • Forgiveness and compassion. lustful. • You might try to take care of yourself by becoming more ag­ • You may become more intense. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A of using them up. You may • You may become quiet and want to be by yourself. • The experience of reverence and respect for creatures instead • Letting your guard down and being vulnerable.

You may exaggerate being independent and on your own. spontaneous and compassionate vs. You might become overly heady and rational and use your intellect to defend yourself. • You appreciate and pursue knowledge for its own sake vs. or punishing. You become the Lone Ranger or Rangerette. or plot revenge. You might move toward thinking and observing instead of doing. You may break contact with others vs . You won't let others support you or comfort you. • You connect your head and gut and heart and are genuinely present. . You may begin to distrust your instincts. • You can think clearly and dispassionately vs. A • Shift to the High Side of Style 5 You think before you act. being internally disconnected and then feeling isolated. You may feel inadequate and unable to influence the situa­ tion. Then you may ei­ • • • • • • • ther become suicidal or become more desperate in your at­ tempts to avoid this inner emptiness through living intensely. as a way of having power over others.Style 8 115 • As a result of imploding. violent. You can think it out before you im­ pulsively act it out. making contact. with prejudiced preconceptions and caricatures. you might experience exaggerated feelings of deadness and emptiness. blame others. • You may drive yourself into a black hole.

You realize it is not solely up to you to bring about justice and equity. You come with hands open vs. 1/1 am helpful I am giving. A Shift to the High Side of Style 2 temper your justice with mercy. • You trust that justice and fairness will come about without your intervention or having to get even. You • You can say. self-sufficiency and fear of dependence. • You use your power to build others up and empower them vs. to hurt you? And why would you want to hurt anyone? • You come to each moment and situation fresh. You let • You move towards interde pendence in place of your extreme them know your scared little kid. • You trust others' motivations instead of challenging them and attempting to unmask their hidden motivations and intentions." You are giving in­ . stead of grabby. fists clenched. • You can be compassionate toward yourself and others . tearing them down. There towards others' needs and feelings. You let others support you. • You speak the truth in a way that others can take it in instead • You assume an attitude of innocence: why would anyone want of shoving it down their throat. . • You respect others' rights as much as you demand respect for your own.116 THE ENNEAGRAM Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style for them. without expec­ tation of being hurt or taken advantage of and without memo­ ries of past wrongs and insults. • You are empathic and sensitive toward your own needs and • You are in touch with your gentle side and tenderness. • You let others speak up for you instead of always speaking up • You can share your vulnerable underside with others.

• You use your Godfather or Godmother position for your own aggrandizement vs. You become soft vs. against them. You resist moving toward violence or vengeance. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 2 dent on you so they will affirm your strength. tough. for the good of the community. • You may engage in enabling behavior to make people depen­ • You may manipulate or intimidate others into needing your services in the manner of the Mafia to buttress your own posi­ tion. hard-tender vs. . • You move toward others vs.Style 8 117 is nothing stronger than true gentleness and nothing gentler than true strength.

.. .. ._ . .... . p_ Style 9 119 .....Style 9 The Peaceful Person Positive Descriptors of Your Style 11w )ayhai 7. WUe5. Penon 1. f.11oeEfhctlve "- n.... r_ The laJal 6.. ...... 0.TlteDrlp.. ".- 3..- patient unostentatious diplomatic lowkey reassuring modest objective unflap pable settled comf ortable Negative Descriptors of Your Style rece ptive allowing permissive peaceful in harmony calm laissez-f aire eas ygoing down to earth f ex ew pectations put things off confluent indecisive low ener gy distractible squelch anger boring tedious uncommitted neglectful overly adaptable indolent passive-ag gressive detached unresponsive oblivious ap peasing unre flective obstinate difficulty discriminating .owin& .al .....0 ThePt-'vJ ...... The I..

You are able to reconcile opposing forces and can see both sides of an issue. You can overidentify with the idealized self-image of being being settled and avoid any kind of conflict. laissez­ You may have difficulty tak­ ing a position or choosing sides. You can be unassertive and unwilling to intervene on your own behalf. for when things fit to­ gether. f aire approach to life which encourages people and events to unfold in their own way and at their own pace.120 THE ENNEAGRAM Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You value peace which is the tranquility of order. You possess diplomacy. You are easygoing and give others freedom and space and let them take the lead. to conform or not con­ form. You can be indecisive or put off making any decision. You have an allowing. You have an intuitive sense and appreciation for har­ mony. You experience ambivalence about whether to agree or dis­ agree. You let things go too long unattended. You can overdo agreement. . You can get caught in the di­ lemma of fearing to express yourself lest you displease others and risk their abandon­ ing you or of feeling resentful because you abandoned your­ self and didn't get your needs met. You can assume a passive stance towards life and take the path of least resistance.

You can be aware of and at­ tentive to the nuances of each moment. homogenize. unas­ suming person. impartial. ac­ cepting. emo­ tionally. . You sometimes believe you don't matter or make a differ­ ence. You can be in tune with your personal preferences and feel­ ings. socially. intellectually. and open listener. You have a sense of purpose. down to earth. You have a tendency to gen­ eralize. modest. You are a salt of the earth. You are a non-judgmental. You can repress and numb out your anger and express it in a passive-aggressive manner. You pay attention to others' feelings but not your own. and not recognize differences. You may lack a sense of self­ worth and so don't take care of yourself physically. You identify so much with others' positions that you may lose touch with or not express your own opinions and pref­ erences. You are even­ tempered and have no need to show off.Style 9 121 Positive Core Value Tendencies Distorted Core Characteristics You have a calming. or spiritually. reassur­ ing presence. You may fiddle while Rome bums and refuse to recognize real problems.

Procrastina­ tion. that you are lovable. you know what you need and want and you know what you need to do to get what you want. The integration of your feel­ ings and thoughts motivate and focus your activity. Action is natural to the real self and works for the development of that self. confusion. don't let your­ self feel or want much. so you resign yourself.122 THE ENNEAGRAM Love Objective Paradigm Resignation Distorting Paradigm Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: You have a sense that you are loved. don't let things get to you. Self-doubt and resignation lead to indolence or laziness regarding the growth of one­ self and others. indecision. and so you don't act. Passion: Indolence Maladaptive Emotional Schema: You are genuinely content with yourself and with reality as it is. Virtue: Action Adaptive Emotional Schema: Love wants to pass itself on through action. Gratitude for being loved leads to sponta­ neous action towards the wel­ fare of the beloved. You can distract yourself and diffuse your activity when it comes to doing something re­ ally important to you. and that you are capable of loving. and don't make a big deal out of any­ thing. When you are inattentive to and neglectful of yourself. You can resign yourself to accepting whatever comes your way. . When you are in touch with your real self. and inaction arise from the false personality and block ac­ tion. you don't know what you need. You feel deprived of love and not paid attention to.

You experienced a conflict between being good or bad. You felt neglected and then you neglected yourself.Style 9 123 Area of Avoidance: Conflict Because you want to be settled. How the Distortion of This Style Developed • You weren't paid attention to enough when you were grow­ ing up. your feelings. What's the diff erence. You pull for agreement and blur differ­ ences. You make molehills out of mountains. Your solution was not to decide. and prefer­ ences. So you took both sides instead of choosing sides. you took a less painful stance of resignation by saying. You learned not to pay attention to yourself. lowered your expectations. You were caught in the dilemma of confronting others and being abandoned or of conforming to others and being con­ trolled. and became resigned for the duration. • • • • • or overshadowed by your siblings. Why make a big deaJ out ofanything. You weren't listened to and so you learned not to listen to yourself. You make everything the same and highlight nothing. You deve­ loped indecision as a conflict-resolution method. to allow events to take their own course. You learned to postpone. wants. you avoid conflict or anything that would upset you. your preferences and wants. " e • You turned down your energy. You pour oil on troubled waters. to wait and see. your needs. felt overlooked. con­ formist or non-conformist. • Instead of coming to the painful acknowledgement that you weren't loved or cared for or that you apparently didn't mat­ ter. Lif is short. . Defense Mechanism: N arcoticization To avoid conflict you numb your feelings. You don't hear the squeaks since you want everything to go smoothly. agreeing or disagreeing. • You may have grown up in the background. "It doesn 't matter.

" y A sense of aliveness and vitality. more shut down. not notice. A sense of purpose and destiny. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions A Shift to the Low Side o/Your Own Style What's the use?' and become more resigned. so you repressed it. and delay more. A sense of self-worth: "1reall do matter. The excitement and growth that arise out of conflict. • Your attempts to express your anger did not meet with suc­ cess. You may become more dependent on others to take care of you. put off. Instead of getting organized. you have a place in and a part to play in the unfolding of the universe. What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style • A sense of accomplishment in getting things done. and not listen instead of deal­ ing with the problem." • Feeling loved and cared for and in tum being loving and car" • • • • ing . You may avoid confrontation and conflict. You might avoid even more not taking a position or stating your case. • • • • • • • • .124 THE ENNEAGRAM • You learned to comfort yourself by setting up a routine and going on automatic pilot. You may procrastinate. " • You might say. You may fall asleep. You may become overly preoccupied with details and not fin­ ish what really needs to get done. you might become more disor­ ganized and therefore unable to act. • A sense of competency and self efficacy: 1 can do it. You may become obstinate and unyielding.

• You can be assertive. A Shift to the High Side of Style 6 a stand and state your case. What if?' instead of your usual what if?' • You may begin making mountains out of molehills. • You might begin seeking the approval and affirmation and protection of some outside authority. . • You could become scrupulous and be overly concerned about keeping the rules and schedule. • You may become overly responsible and dutiful. A Shift to the Low Side of Style 6 II II • You may become worrisome. • You may doubt yourself and your own inner authority and avoid expressing your needs and your position. fearful. • You may find yourself sleeping more or daydreaming more. incon­ sequential matters instead of doing what you need to do.Style 9 125 • You might distract yourself by pursuing unimportant. ruminative. So • You may begin to say. Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Relaxed Conditions A Shift to the High Side of Your Own Style • You can focus and differentiate instead of distracting yourself and becoming confluent. • You may stop being relaxed and become rigid and obsessive. feeling. or preference. You do it now instead of procrastinating. You are in touch with your anger and use it to tell you what you want and to enable you to get what you really need. • You are prompt. discover what you really want to do and act on those per­ sonal desires and preferences . • You can find in yourself the courage to be somebody and take • You can push through your fears of being rejected or ignored. You state your own position.

You are in touch with your efficacious self. • You may engage in busy work as another way to distract your­ . " II A Shift to the Low Side of Style 3 self or neglect what you really need to work on. feelings. You generate your own energy vs." You assume the attitude that you are important. You can say to yourself: "Iam successfuJ. draining off others' energy. and com­ petent. • You are awake to your real self. being in a trance and forget­ ting who you are and what you want. You resist falling asleep and neglecting yourself. and wants.126 THE ENNEAGRAM • You trust your inner authority and resist turning to gurus or other external sources for energy and solutions. • You can get focused and goal-oriented. efficient. You practice mindful­ ness. • You are mindful of when you have been loved and touched and cared for. • You aren't just there. A Shift to the High Side of Style 3 you want and go get it in a step-by-step manner. in touch with the active agent in you instead of being a passive recipient. You remember yourself vs. you do something. You think of yourself as being professional. You allow your natural gratitude to lead you to action. You determine what • You become organized and structured from within so you don't have to rely on external pressure to get you moving. You take action to • • • • affect the world. • You take better care of your inner spiritual well-being and your outer physical well-being. • You don't substitute inconsequentials and nonessentials for what you really need and want. you do mat­ ter and make a difference instead of your usual " It doesn't matter' or I don 't matter.

Style 9 127 • You may take on many projects to have something to do in­ stead of intentionally living your own life. • You may assume a role or some corporate identity and still not know who you are. .

Robert Nogosek. Ne­ vada City. and Elizabeth Wagele. Hurley. Keyes. Naranjo. _____ . Ennea-typeStructures. Nevada City.1990. 1991. Patrick O'Leary. The E nneagram Made Easy.. 1994. Maria. 1994. Emotions and the Enneagram. Kathleen. CA: Gateways. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco.7ew. _____ . CA: Gate­ ways/IDHHB. Character andNeurosis: An Integrative J. 1984. Renee. and Theodore Dobson. What's M 7jpe?San y Francisco: HarperCollins. . 1993. M Best Self: U y sing the Enneagram to F the ree Soul. Margaret. Muir Beach. Rev. Denville. Claudio. San Francisco: HarperSan Francisco. CA: Molysdatur Publ. Ed. The E nneagram: AJoume o/SelfDiscovery. Beesing.Bibliography 129 Bibliography BOOKS ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM General Introduction Baron. 1992. NJ: Dimen­ y sion Books.

San Francisco: Harper and Row. Nogosek. Helen. The Enneagram and Prayer. NJ: Dimension Books. 1985. Experiencing the Enneagram. NJ: Dimen­ sion Books. Enneagram Transf ormations. 1992. 1994. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. ____ . 1990. Denville. and Murray Spalding. Riso. New York: Crossroad. Denville. Rohr. ______ . 1990. OR: Metamorphous Press. ____________ . Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Portland. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. 1993. T Enneagram in Love and W he ork. Palmer. ______ . 1991 . Conversion and the Enn eagram. Discovering Y our Personality Ty pe. Don Richard. N ine Portraits ofJesus. Anne. New York: HarperCollins. NJ: Dimension Books. 1987.130 THE ENNEAGRAM Linden. Barbara. _____ . The Enneagram andNLP. and John Burchill. New York: Cross­ road. Tickerhoof. The Enneagram. Bernard. 1995. Robert. 1992. 1987. Richard. Understanding the Enneagram. Denville. The Enneagram and Spirituality Metz. . Personality 1jpes: U sing the Enneagram f or SelfDiscovery. and Andreas Ebert. Discovering the Enneagram. 1988. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

35/ 12-A. _____ . "Reliability and validity study of a Sufi person­ ality typology: the Enneagram. "The Arica Enneagram of Types. p. . Articles and Chapters about the Enneagram Keen. John. 1975.Bibliography 131 Zuercher. "The Arka training." Trans personal P sychologies. . . Sam. Winter 1990." P Lilly. 1992.E nneagram Companions. New York: Harper and Row. _____ ." Ph. Ichazo. Notre Dame." Journal of Clinical Psychol­ og 39(5).. and Joseph Hart. September 1983. Dissertations about the Enneagram Beauvais. Notre Dame. Charles Tart. May jJune 1986. IN: Ave Maria Press." N ew Catholic W orld. 1979. y. Hartford Seminary. Phyllis. Wagner. GAX 75-13868." Know Y our 1)pe: Maps ofIdentit New York: Doubleday. 1993 . "Apologia for the Enneagram and Research." E nneagram Educator. Suzanne. Ed. 8005. "A conversation about ego destruction with Oscar sycholog T y oday. "Claudio Naranjo and SAT: modem manifes­ tation of Sufism. 1994. Metzner. Summer. 1973. Ralph.D. "Comparisons of the Enneagram and Jungian typologies. Enneagram S pirituality. IN: Ave Maria Press. y." _____ _____ Enneagram Educator. "The Enneagram and Myers-Briggs: two windows on the self. July 1973. Jerome.

D.. Research Abstracts International. 40/09-B.. "A descriptive. GAX 86-25584. 46/11B. 35/05B.) RELATED WORKS The Arica Tradition !chazo. Zeeb Rd. 300 N. 1976. United States International University. "The relation between depth psychology and p rotoanalysi s . Richard. Gamard." Ph.. 41 / 11A. "Effects of the Arica training on adult develop­ ment: a longitudinal study. 1983. p. New York: Arica Institute Press. Thomas. GAX 80-05160.D. "The relationship of Arica training to self actualization and interpersonal behavior. reliability. The Human Process f E or nlightenment and F ­ ree dom.132 THE ENNEAGRAM Campbell.D. "Development of an inventory to assess Enneagram personality type. California Insti­ tute of Integral Studies. 1-800-521-3042. 36/03-B. 1981. California Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Loyola University. 1986..D.D. Box 1764.o. Chicago." Ph. University Microfilm International. Wagner. Randall.. GAX 85-28854. Zinkle. D . (To order copies. 1975. GAX 74-24529. MI 48106. United States International University. 1975." Ph. Wolf. "A pilot study toward the validation of the Sufi personality typology. Saybrook Institute. GAX 75-20244." Ph. Ann Arbor. "Interrater reliability and validity of judgments of Enneagram personality types. Cali­ fornia Institute of Integral Studies. LD 00676. Steven. " Ph . Lincoln. contact Dissertation Abstracts Intemational. 1979 . . Oscar." Ph." Ph. 1985... Jerome.D. William Sumner. Robert. and validity study of the Enneagram personality typology. Dissertion Publishing. Stephen.. GAX 81-09973.

New York: Arica In­ stitute Press. ME: Samuel Weiser. New York: Arica Institute Press. Berkeley: And/Or Press. Tart. ____ ____ 1988. 1986. Essence: the Diamond Ap tion. _____ . York Beach. The Gurdjie/f Tradition Almaas. De Ropp. ME: Samuel Weiser. 1983. 1985. Enneagram Studies. 1976. Webb. 1974. 1974. The Pearl Be yond Price. Fisherman s Guide. Boston: Shambhala. Putnam's Sons. Between Metaphysics and Protoanal ysis. New York: Vintage. The Gurdjie/f W ork.Bibliography 133 _____ . The V .P. J. 1980. The P sychology of Man s Possible Evolution. York Beach. ME: Samuel Weiser. York Beach. Robert.G. Kathleen. 1984. Berkeley: Diamond Books. Speeth. James. Bennett. W aking U Boston: Shambhala. . AH. The H armonious Circle. Interviews with OscarIchazo. The M aster Game. The Elixir of Enlightenment. Berkeley: Diamond Books. New York: Dell. Robert. Campbell. PD. New York: G . 1986. oid. Ouspensky. Charles. 1982. . 1982. p. ____ proach to Inner Realiza­ . 1986.

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