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and don't fail to read to the end. In fact, you can skip the middle if you want. No man is an island, but sometimes there are times when we feel like it. Here are my favorite tips for handling such times:
Exercise is wonderful to lift one's spirit. But even if you're not the one to embrace it as a habit, don’t neglect to stretch. Negative emotions cramp up different parts of the body. There are schools who can just tell what kind of phsychological problems a person has, looking at their restrictions of movement and impaired posture. The process is reversible, i.e. gently inducing movement to the body by
stretching those rigid muscles sets your mind free. The Internet is full of good advice. A good stretching session makes you feel like you had the most wonderful night’s ….. sleep.
There is something about bringing focus to the voice box that lightens the soul. Guilt closes the voice, fear sits like a frog in your throat. Raising your voice in song brings energy to the throat chakra which is associated with transforming experience into wisdom and learning. Singing requires breath control which will in turn help you stretch your ribcage. If you're not a singer, try the numerous karaoke clips on Youtube.
Take tender care of yourself by bringing your thoughts to paper. Only 500 years ago, scribes were soughtafter professionals. 250 years ago, famous writers' well-written pieces would spread through the lands like an epidemy, so starved was the human mind for skillful writing in the absence of other lightweight entertainment. Until then, words could not be enjoyed without a speaker. In those days, the level of literacy we have reached by now was a dream hovering in some far-off galaxy. So let's use our gifts. Writing is a way of harnessing the most sublime human process in your favour. Try a diary or a blog. Design your own greeting cards. Present someone with a handwritten poem for their birthday.
Put up a few cuddle toys
Humans are wired to recognise faces. Seeing faces around you is extremely comforting. We even recognise faces where there aren't any: in clouds, trees, random arrangement of pebbles or leaves. Faces jump us into the caring mode. Soldiers have to be trained to shoot on faceless, human-shaped targets, because naturally we would not. At the sight of another human face we connect. It's the deepest human engagement and it makes us divinely fulfilled. Being lonely cuts us off from caring with negative side effects: we lose the skill. So it's not just reviving childhood dreams when you surround yourself with cuddle toys. Your subconscious won't mind to be tricked. All it wants is reminders to care.
When you're in nature, things (most of all you yourself) fall into perspective. Beautiful wallpapers on your computer screen might do the trick, but a walk along a river or atop a mountain adds Mother Earth's energy. Oriental thinking has it that earth radiates pure energy up to three feet above ground level. The best way to absorb it is to lie down on the bare ground. If that's not your thing, take a walk and don't come back inside until your soul swings with the rhythm of nature.
Worries can be released by using our hands. They say that most of human intelligence is based on the fact that the thumb is opposite the fingers, thus making us skillful at gripping. Dexterity is commonly regarded as a sign of mental wholeness and personal achievement. Enhance yourself, create, craft, manufacture and feel the satisfaction. Make it a game to use your resources at home to avoid a store bought solution. Put yourself a personal challenge to spend more time in manual activities to ground your mental ones.
Poor personal grooming habits make your body feel like it's a poor vehicle for your spirit. Messy environments or unclear schedules cloud the soul. Cluttered surfaces irritate the eye and excite the mind into search mode, essentially a state of worry that all is not well. Events jumping at you out of nowhere make you feel inadequate. However, clear thinking is achieved on a light-hearted frequency. Taking care of your life and yourself give you the supportive boost you need to go from the problem frequency to the solution frequency whenever you need to. So, taking care of your surroundings and yourself serves as a balance to compulsive worries and obsessive thoughts.
Cut out sweets
Sugar is highly addictive and accounts for mood swings. Once body cells are used to quick energy via the sugar intake, they become like spoiled brats terrorising you with their nagging demands. It's war going on in your own body. And all too often you give in to have a short respite. However, living a non-sweet life makes a person bitter. Therefore, replace sweets with fresh and dried fruit. Dates are my favourite. Most available food solutions are loaded with hidden sugars which means living sugarless can turn you into a social outcast. I'm not joking. For me, lonely days are days for ZERO sucrose, because cravings reinforce a feeling of lack, which is always a poor base to operate from. Also experiment whether wheat and/or milk affect you.
A flame is a natural booster, representing life itself like a mirror of yourself. In Oriental thinking, the element fire opens human insight into the meaning of material things, much like light cannot be seen but in its reflection on things. It's understanding in your world and events. Sublime energy will always come to us attached to a material shape, but we must not stop there but look for meaning on a sublime level. Life is life and we are alive, so therefore it behoves us to act alive and understand. Do a fire meditation, by sitting in front of a candle enjoying the gentle warm light. You will feel enwrapped in life's arms. Isn't this exactly the feeling we seek in a human embrace?
Take mental snap shots of happy moments
In a happy and relaxed moment, direct your thoughts through all the parts of your body and remember the feeling in your very fibres. Body cells have a memory of their own, which we know all too well when a traumatising feeling of resentment is triggered by a flash of memory. Use body memory to deliberately load your mind with positive vibes. You will be able to recall these 'snaps' later, at times when you're besieged with negative moments. When you're muddled under the worst notion is: it will always be like this, there is no way out. Well, the best way to combat this misconception is physical evidence stored in the cell memory far away from your conscious mind. Plus it's a store of wealth towards old age.
*** A wee word of wisdom: there may be number of reasons why you are lonely. But believe you me, it's not a disease, it's a valid form of human existence. Countless cultures have valued solitude as a means to get to the core of life. However, in Western society, loneliness is approached like an impairment or a loathsome disease. Persons without a 'significant other' are considered socially maladjusted. Well, loneliness does make a person basically useless as a consumer in the market, as the highest incentive to consume is collective envy and greed. 'Like the Joneses, we must have.' Finding a mate, pleasing a partner and competing with other couples do account for a lot of spending. To maintain dignity in a lonely situation you might have to do some mental support work. In the face of an overwhelming mainstream preference for romantic goals, these tips won't work for you, if deep down you think that you are just tricking yourself or covering up some deep human lack. What do we look for in relationships anyway? In my opinion we try to recreate our true state of being one with everything. In all the
touching, the embracing, the loving we do, we convince our elementary body memory that we share in a greater existence. For many of us, this avenue to acceptance is the only way to achieve such knowledge and if this avenue is closed to us, we feel separate. Feeling separate, however, is a delusion based on the limited choice of avenues we have to feel one. There may be countless other roads, but if we can't see them, it's as though they didn't exist. Thus we are thrown into the despair of aimless victim thinking. Let's not forget that an actual experience is a thousand times more powerful to our memory than a mental learning process. This is where Chuck Palahniuk's 'Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism' might gain an ulterior meaning. (Thanks, Helen) Rampant, folks, rampant, with a momentum of its own to match those rampant lonely experiences we shaded in gloomy and dark colors as mainstream society prefers all shades of rosé and bleu clair. Truly, we are never alone, although we might feel that way. So much for emotions. And the first human endeavor is to create convincing evidence of being embraced by the universe. But tell me which is better:
believing that we are lonely and frantically looking for proof that we aren't or believing that we are one with everything and lonely feelings are a product of being stuck in a limited point of view? In either case, solutions are always found on another frequency. Try any trick that snaps you there. “ego” is Latin for “I suffer”
Irma Walter 2010 Irma is a proud mother of five fine sons and two lovely daughters. She has been a single mom for 15 years, lived in India for 12 years involved in a Christian outreach to Deaf Youths. A German national who has achieved bilingual skills by homeschooling her children in English, she has now set out to create a series of bilingual books for learners. Irma practises the I Ching for life guidance and uses homeopathy to maintain health and wholeness. She regularly cliniclowns at hospitals and senior homes in her region and visits a Roma village in Romania once a year. For her, English is not just a language, it's a state of mind - the global mind and she feels privileged to be part of it. She stands in a tradition of modesty, of service, of philosophy and music, passed on to her by her ancestors. Connect with Irma via her blog: http://irmaladouce.wordpress.com/