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Lethal Tongue ™
Joseph R. Plazo
The Dynamics of Irresistible Verbal Power
Joseph Plazo E-mail:firstname.lastname@example.org Web page: www.xtrememind.com i (0919) 566-3454
Joseph R. Plazo
Table of Contents
To update table of contents, place cursor on shaded row and press F9. 1.
HAVE YOUR WAY… NOW
What’s in it For You?
2.1. 2.2. 2.3. 2.4.
THE POWER OF THE WORD
The Writer’s Achilles Heel Powers of Hypnotic Speech So, What’s Inside? Warnings
10 11 11 13
3.1. 3.2. 3.3. 3.4. 3.5. 3.6.
IRRESISTIBLE FIRST CONTACT
The Table Reversal Technique Five Breath Method A Killer Opening Line Opening Salvos Pressing the Assault Verbal Ju-jitsu
15 16 18 20 22 24 26 26 27 28
3.7. What’s Your Story…? 3.7.1. The Two Second Rule 3.8. Getting into Their Skin 3.8.1. Parallel Empathizing
ATTITUDES OF POWER
Power Lies Within
Joseph R. Plazo
4.2. Power Attitudes 4.2.1. Genuine Interest in Others 4.2.2. Incorrigible Humour 4.2.3. A Radiant Confidence 4.2.4. Overpowering Assertiveness 4.2.5. Intrepid Initiative 4.2.6. Sensual Enthusiasm
31 31 32 33 34 35 36
UNLEASHING THE LETHAL TONGUE
39 40 41 41 43 43 45 47 47 48 49 51 51 53 54 54 55 58 60 61 63 64 64 65 68 72 76 77 79
5.1. Bomb the Emotions; Nuke the Senses 5.1.1. The Framework of Hypnotic Speech 5.2. Asserting in the Affirmative 5.2.1. The Power of Positive Statements 5.2.2. Living la Vida Loca 5.3. 5.4. Touching Magic Sizzling Small Talk
5.5. Creating Magnetism with Similarity 5.5.1. The Power of Apparent Similarity 5.5.2. Mirroring- The Sneaky Method of Creating Similarity 5.6. Electric Words
5.7. The Big Guns: Stealthy Word-Play I 5.7.1. Power Up Your Verbs and Kick Them Off! 5.7.2. Tri-Component Narratives 5.7.3. Similes and Parallelisms 5.7.4. Metaphors 5.7.5. Mesmerizing Tales 5.7.6. Magnetic Interrogatives 5.7.7. Shrouded Interrogatives 5.7.8. Stealthy Ambiguities 5.7.9. Time Warping 5.8. The Big Guns: Stealthy Word-Play II 5.8.1. Shifting Paradigms 5.8.2. Power Presuppositions 5.8.3. Inducing Feelings In a Flash 5.8.4. Pacing Your Way to Compliance 5.8.5. Locking People In a Box 5.8.6. Unearthing Her Secrets 5.8.7. The War Between Features and Benefits
Joseph R. Plazo
About the Author
Joseph R. Plazo, writer, author, architect and entrepreneur. He accomplished an architectural degree and topped it off with an MBA. Yet, his passion for psychology overrules. In the author’s view, the study of Human Behaviour naturally allows the development of good relationships. Through psychology, we easily learn the underlying drives, motivations and desires which empower people to act the way they do. He further believes that since 70% of a man’s life is spent in the company of others, developing solid bonds is vital to healthy existence. Good relationships build sound societies. Through his books, the author hopes to empower countless readers to shift their lives for the better… and to develop the same passion for psychology as he does. This is his fifth book.
The material in this book constantly undergoes upgrading.xtrememind. You could get in touch through my email at email@example.com could avail of future books for free. www. Plazo Exceed International A personal note from the Author Fellow persuasion enthusiasts. This is my courtesy to you.com and my cell phone at (0919)566-3454 All the best and more power! Joey v . I will be releasing new books in the future that I feel will help empower you all the more. I am available for consultation anytime and I look forward to hearing from you.Joseph R. and my way of saying thank you. All clients at my site.
Joseph R. Plazo Exceed International vi .
influence and magnetize Give me three hours and I’ll show you how to mesmerize anybody. Guaranteed. 1.Quote found on the wall of a recreation center office in Berkeley. watching them sparkle. as you hear her deep. ANYONE and get what you WANT. right now… and imagine the delicious power coursing down your spine… spawned from your newfound ability to persuade. Have Your Way… NOW "The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it. rhythmic breathing… while you whisper an irresistible proposal…. Imagine the ability to cast devastating spells spun from simple words… and exploiting those words to get what you desire… any desire. 7 Copyright 2002 . California. Visualize your friends trailing you for advice." -. That’s the bottomline. What’s in it For You? bsolute power.Joseph Plazo 1. Today. Stop.1. comfort and support… they depend on you… they NEED you… Or imagine gazing into your lover’s eyes. you will discover the principles of unstoppable verbal influence. A Picture yourself striding to a negotiation table and holding the panel spellbound and powerless to your magnetic delivery….
reading these words. to the full At but a whim. Suddenly. What could such power bring you…? As you sit there. you will be giddy with delight as you discover breakthrough techniques which easily allow you to: Reap more income Triumph in negotiations Gain instant respect and admiration Mesmerize the opposite sex Resist all rejection Win friends Brutally seize opportunities and Kill off the competition! You will magically find your social.Joseph Plazo In less time than it takes to mow your lawn. and imagining your unbelievable future. Your desires will be satisfied…. business and romantic life taking a swift and dizzying change. you may already notice your breath quickening… 8 Copyright 2002 . doors and windows of opportunity shall open… at your command! All your needs will be met. An irresistible human dynamo of charisma… that is your destiny if you absorb all the valuable lessons this book offers. All for the better. you could shape the outcome of any personal relationship.
Stephen King or perhaps. now. As you lose yourself in the annals of their imagination. Writing conveys thoughts. You readily found yourself experiencing mild states of excitement because I willed it through my writing. The Power of the Word I imagine that you felt a shiver coursing down your spine. 9 Copyright 2002 . Observe how a few simple lines carried enough force to play upon your feelings. With a bit of ink and a pen. I fiddled with your emotions. Mark Twain. Their stories forge entire worlds which you willingly explore. I safely presume that you read the works of Dean Koontz. Today’s mass media technology allows writers to quickly influence the publics across the world! I envision that writers could rewrite history (literally and figuratively) should they choose to do so. ideas and even ideologies. you find yourself influenced by their views and opinions… The art of writing is invaluable because it is a tremendously potent form of communication. Consider.Joseph Plazo 2. Immediately. writers who are charmingly persuasive can sway public opinion very easily. That changed all so rapidly. how politicians would get nowhere without their ghostwriters. Give a man a pen and he’s ready to take on the world. As we already know. your mind opens up to the ideas they present. What power that is! The pen indeed thwarts the sword. You need a fiery speech in order to sway the masses and win votes Centuries ago. the writer’s influence largely lay confined within the village or town where he promulgated his craft. writers unleash magic with their pens. Was it tangible? I’ll bet the farm and all the horses on it that you found yourself experiencing a mild excitement as I narrated the benefits you will enjoy. Like wizards. Recall how these expert writers easily rivet you to their every word.
Speakers can deliver hypnotic spiels and modify his words to suit the temperament of his audience. Our thoughts result from outside stimulus (such as being fired from work.1. Speech is perfectly dynamic. He could not elaborate on points nor could he rebut disagreements. Persuasive writers. For all time. or from seeing a loved one) and these are sparked in our neurons. This is the problem a writer faces: once the typesetter publishes his book. speech is modified in real-time to suit the ever shifting environment or contextual situation. Thousands of times throughout the day. Speech occurs simultaneously with the formation of a thought and is delivered with great deliberation. From these myriad thoughts. Surely a more dynamic form of communication exists… one which could adapt to ongoing.Joseph Plazo 2. Because the writer cannot change what he had already published. his ideas are forever crystallized in unchanging words. So what we do is to snag a couple of those ideas. writing is not interactive! The writer has no means of conversing with his reader. pamphlet or speech. once done. Another mode of transmitting ideas is through speech. When needed. With each passing decade. That sore lack of dynamism is the writer’s Achilles heel. while highly persuasive. have a waterloo after all. real-time changes… And fortunately. you and I would deem a few notions worthy of sharing with others. there is! Writing. abstract thoughts zip through the brain. translate them into mental/visual symbols which we then transmit through precise sound frequencies. while all-poweful. 10 Copyright 2002 . is done and cannot be retracted. the writer’s thoughts will be lost or diluted as his sentences undergo varying interpretations that depend on the prevailing culture. The Writer’s Achilles Heel W ell-executed writing. This is the facility of speech. as we are aware. Worse. Writing. his ideas will remain frozen in inert sentences that are incapable of adapting to environmental changes. tends to be static. he stands the chance of being misinterpreted. We will soon discover how dynamic speech can unleash far greater persuasive force than writing. This is the power of speech and which writing fails at. is but one facet of communications. The effective speaker always takes note of the contextual situation and adjusts his delivery in order to enhance the quality of his message.
Joseph Plazo That power. Ultimately. L Through the vocal facility. Within three hours of your reading this book. Powers of Hypnotic Speech ook around yourself. What do you see? A table? Chairs? Paintings and scultptures? Or maybe a loving wife? What you have around you are the fruits of your personal relationships. You must convince others of your needs in order for them to deliver to you! You win a coveted raise if you can persuade your boss of your worth. upon your mastery. will allow you to influence anyone and create compelling arguments that could mesmerize even the most stubborn of individuals.3. it is your speaking skills and attendant behaviours which shape your relationships… and ultimately.. Your words must ring with authority and drip with sensual allure. Accordingly. What’s Inside? 11 Copyright 2002 . you negotiate your salary. So. that people will have no recourse but to say yes to you. you bargain for your goods. and yes. and loved ones in order to procure your needs. You melt your crush’s heart with the soft whisper of honey-coated poetry. you must hone your speaking abilities to perfection in such a way that you become persuasively magnetic and unstoppably confident.2. You communicate with bosses. This book teaches the art of hypnotic speaking and your tongue will have the lethal ability to persuade anybody. everything that you have indirectly results from your interactions with others. your fortunes To master human interactions. How well your needs are met highly depend upon your speaking aptitude. I intend to impart all the professional skills of persuasive and charismatic speakers. 2. You will become an irresistibly hypnotic speaker. Do you already understand how your fortunes largely depend upon the dexterity of your tongue? Stop. you even win a spouse. peers. for a moment and understand this fact: the quality of your interpersonal communications determine your success. 2. therefore. You will master devastating skills in order to deliver a verbal payload of immense power.
how a student readily yields to emotional peer pressure and commits illogical moves that threaten his grades. emotional force overrules intellectual analysis. Its spotlights methods of irresistible verbal magic. Since most people already stumble at the prospect of making first contact. The human psyche. we get into the hard core techniques of hypnotic speech. Again. Emotions are powerful. You cannot display your magnificent speaking ability if you have no one to speak to! Once you discover how to break the ice. The forerunner to this book. 12 Copyright 2002 .D of Persuasion focuses on the general behavioural aspect of persuasion. The various techniques arrayed within this book all conspire to play upon the emotions in order to yield maximum impact. He follows his guts and his guts lead to failure. Ph. The book assumes that you hold average persuasive abilities. yet you yield to emotional gluttony and wolf it all down The emotions rule the head. recall how you indulged in a sinful feast of fats and junk foods. It’s a cliché that stood the test of time. Seize a man’s emotions and you become his puppeteer. Examine also. you would find it beneficial to read the latter first. Of the two. On the other hand. thereby influencing behaviour. A cognitive factor pertains to a person’s wilful and intellectual analysis of a situation. it has been proven that affective factors more easily influence behaviour. In your case. Lethal Tongue ™ comprises of advanced verbal techniques geared towards persuasion and emotional elicitation. Behavioral doctors assert that people’s actions result from both cognitive and affective factors.Joseph Plazo P lenty. Observe how an emotional stock broker ceases to make logical decision and bets on the wrong stocks. hence. this book first teaches you how to overwhelm initial timidity and to approach anyone you meet. Hypnotic speech focuses on altering people’s emotions. while logical. an affective factor pertains to the emotional impact a situation begets upon behaviour. You brain screams that such food is poison. frequently falters in the face of emotional assault.
but remember the catch. Each time you open a door. are the techniques which will transform you into a throbbing dynamo of influence. You shall learn how to probe the innermost desires of a man or woman and use their desires to uphold your own. These. even if what you say is devoid of meaning. ensure that you do not rob whoever invites you in. with great power comes great responsibility. 13 Copyright 2002 . You will find that men’s doors easily swing open as you master and practice the Lethal Tongue ™ method of hypnotic speech.4. Warnings I should stress that all the techniques within this book are intended for your personal and wholistic development. Abuse anyone’s hospitality and your influence will be short lived… you will also create die-hard enemies in the process! Remember.Joseph Plazo From Lethal Tongue ™ you will discover breakthrough methods of sentence construction which allow you to bypass the mind’s logical scrutiny and directly squeeze at anyone’s emotions. Influence is a tool which cannot be abused. 2. among the scores of others. That’s great. You will realize how to sprinkle your phrases with words of power that makes you appear truly credible.
T.S." -. Eliot 14 Copyright 2002 .Joseph Plazo "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.
It is too frightening! 15 Copyright 2002 . Often times however. thinking “what if?” Many times. are also wishing that you open the floor. have experienced the fear of making first contact. they are shy as well. You probably hesitate to initiate conversations with strangers. Both parties would rather not talk. The problem with such expectation is that. no one exerts the effort. If you’re shy or afraid of rejection. with figures of authority or with the object of your desire. The fear of rejection hangs heavy over his head. Irresistible First Contact The Table Reversal Technique salesman hates making cold calls. How many times have you let pass the opportunity of meeting someone new and exciting and only to curse yourself later. Imagine now. no doubt. If no one makes the first move. no doubt. but cringe at his disapproval.1. You have a proposal for your boss. It takes at least one person talking to get two people together. they. You are shy.Joseph Plazo 3. nothing happens! That’s the catch in all initial meetings. and think about it. unfriendly world… When you run into a potential client. a stranger or a crush. but fear itself” -. I’m certain. are shy and fearful of dismissal from you! Pause a moment. but he can’t bring himself to say hi . You hope that somehow. 3. A young man is smitten by his crush. then they. “There is nothing to fear. Refusing to initiate contact is the virus that prevents wonderful new relationships from budding. all the more.Popular quote A You. that every single person on the planet refused to extend the first hand? I see a bleak. they open up and say hi first. fear of rejection or plain anti-social behaviour. how often do you fervently wish that they initiate contact. Reasons often include shyness.
You hem. tell yourself. You find all manner of excuses to delay that frightful first contact. You go home feeling miserable. Now approaching her won’t be so tough after all. What happens? Gradually. You fidget. The next time you feel the clammy hands of fear pawing your neck. unsure how to approach that attractive stranger. allowing you to approach anyone aggressively. whether your prospects be clients. thankful that you don’t have to approach her yet. Your confidence flushes down as you the salad petrifies in your stomach. you’re a nervous wreck again. A surge of confidence shoots up your throat. 16 Copyright 2002 . I call this the Table Reversal Technique because you rapidly switch the tables on those who scare you.2. “I’ll bet this guy/gal is even more afraid of me than I am!” Repeat that assertion to yourself a few times and immediately. you dilly dally. you will feel an instant surge of confidence. You haw. You’re fired up and fully aware that your prospect is just as scared as you are. strangers or even figures of power. In order to dissipate your fear. A full minute later. so you amble over and fork a spoonful. your fear crawls back.Joseph Plazo Now that you already understand the dynamics behind the phenomenon of first contact. pair it off with the Five Blink Method 3. you hold a key to overcoming the fear of meeting new people. you accuse the object of your fear as the ones being fearful of you! Getting this technique to work even more effectively. O But then. Then… Oooh… that salad by the buffet table looks inviting. Five Breath Method kay. This is true. No amount of self-talk revitalizes your spirits.
You create the impression that you are confident. look for the prettiest women.Joseph Plazo Countless people commit this fatal flaw: they delay. you practice this technique with every person you meet. There is no better moment. tell yourself that everyone else is afraid of you. first envision yourself as a suave man. Shut off your negative self-talk. by setting the final limit at five breaths. Then as you walk into a club or a mall. Further. Inevitably. Get out of this self-defeating loop! The very next time you see someone whom you would like to meet. If you are a nervous. The other person will respect you. By making an immediate and direct approach. you emanate a sense of power and importance. I suggest that in order to ascertain an iron clad first impression every time. you actually calm your nerves and lessen the adrenalin surge. If you are a salesman on the prowl. This spontaneous gesture offers the following benefits: You prevent yourself from launching into negative self-talk. you’ll never be able to say it at all. you find yourself ever more jittery. The other person would notice right away whether you were skulking in the background.” Self-defeating. Remember this: the golden moment to initiate contact is right NOW. As each breath becomes deeper and longer. remember that the streets are your kingdom. don’t settle for 17 Copyright 2002 . nothing more. and approach everyone who comes within an arm’s length. Each second of delay weakens your resolve and pumps even more adrenaline into your veins. than right away. I suggest inhaling five times because I know that you will cheat by prolonging each breath. Out of the hundred whom you approach. single bachelor. And if you can’t think of the right thing to say right now. focus your sights on him or her like a laser. Then before you would have inhaled five times. then chances are. you are guaranteed to hit ten or fifteen eager customers. No. You no longer have the opportunity to rationalize delaying the meeting. you give yourself no recourse but to follow through. and extending a friendly hand. make sure you are already on your way with a big smile. pathetic excuses. Some people would justify the delay by saying that they are “waiting for the right moment” or “thinking of the right thing to say.
I guarantee you’ll be rejected. Practice this religiously and delightfully observe how your social circle will magically and rapidly expand. 3. while waiting at the checkout counter.” Only utterly dense people will fall for such drivel. You don’t want such people in your roster of clients or loved ones. Search the internet and you’re bound to find books such as “Killer Opening Lines”. You deserve the best. That’s it. tell yourself. But of the twenty rejections. that she’s terribly shy of you. The reason sociable and popular people are so well liked is that they don’t fear forging new relationships. two or three will bite. they close up and avoid contact. eople search for magical lines that would somehow melt others and get the ball rolling. Get out there and meet some people. Canned opening lines are dumb because they lack sincerity and people can spot them right away. Would you like it if someone came up to you and said: “Your daddy must have been a thief because he stole the stars from the skies and placed them in your eyes. They approach people on the bus. right? Upon seeing a lucky prospect.” While canned opening lines sound witty. Rejection is bound to occur. then approach. And you will become more confident after each encounter.Joseph Plazo mediocre ones. Art of War P Inane. “Best Opening Lines”.3. “Worst Opening Lines. approach him or her before you would have inhaled five times after spotting your quarry. Remember: The very moment you see someone worth meeting. they also sound rehearsed. at the zoo. When people detect insincerity. A Killer Opening Line “Occupy the high ground first” – Sun Tzu. Make them your models. 18 Copyright 2002 .
Joseph Plazo Try using pickup lines in a bar and you can already expect sneers. you look like a really smart person. Whether you’re selling an object. I have the best widgets only smart people like you would use. Being flattered. there is only one line that oozes of simple sincerity. you must encapsulate warmth and sincerity. People will beam at you. to much success. Furthermore. I’m __________. The words work well because you communicate the simple fact that you are interested in the other person. In my experience. You simply want to talk and share something. Smart persons use widgets. If you’re a salesman attempting to interest a client in a widget and you use a canned line. an outstretched hand and a big smile and watch as the other person’s face lights up.” Laughable. That previous one was used on me at the mall. In that first sentence which you utter after the initial approach. but people use such lines. it’s guaranteed to work. the unadorned simplicity of your words convey straightfowardness. replace all your standard opening lines with this one. An opening line is an opening gambit. I’ve used it time and again. or selling yourself. the your prospect will warm up to you. Here are the magical words: “Hi. How could anyone resist that? Right now. Interest flatters. Deliver the words with warmth. like: “Sir. 19 Copyright 2002 .
We all love to discuss our accomplishments. the one subject that would interest you the most is…. (drum roll) yourself. We could spend countless minutes narrating a recent mole operation. you will learn what these are. Opening Salvos he good general follows up his first attack with a barrage of missiles. Remember the uncomfortable silences you’ve experienced in the past conversations? Chances are. But first. be it war or making friends.Joseph Plazo 3. made the approach and introduced yourself. conversation! Maintaining the conversation is vital to consolidating a beginning relationship. You cannot expect your prospect to commence the You threw the ball. The constant onslaught gradually whittles away at the target until it yields. You psyched yourself up. T In any endeavour. In a moment. your prospect is smiling and expecting more. the moment silence sets in. the conversation is doomed. Master conversationalists have discovered powerful openers which naturally allow a discussion to proceed fluidly. every action requires a good follow up. stop for a second and ask yourself. Now. so you must continue bouncing it. A simple game of golf fuels hours of story telling… and grandiose embellishments. Standing silent won’t help your cause. what is the most interesting subject matter for you? Is it the weather? Politics perhaps? A movie that’s playing? Maybe its current events? Gossip? While any of the succeeding reasons could spark a bit of interest. 20 Copyright 2002 .4.
What about it interests you?” Now shut up and await the avalanche of replies. you could mention. Instantly his ears would perk up and he would glance at you quizzically. The same goes for the other person. Here’s how to break the ice and get that conversation going: Compliment someone sincerely. mention it! She’ll be glad that you were so perceptive! Observe a personal effect and ask something about it. Complimenting a model for her gorgeous body won’t have the razzle dazzle effect you desire because she probably gets that all day. querying a surfer how he best manoeuvres high waves could invite a torrent of excited elaboration. you may inquire from that rich bloke how long he’s been playing there and how many games he’s won. People are inherently selfish in that sense. Observe something within that person which is praiseworthy but not very obvious. not too loudly. Your prospective client may be carrying a book entitled “Rabbits and Modern Man. For instance. We love talking about our own interests. At the beach. you must meet them on their terms and discuss their interests. However’ if you notice that a cute dimple forms when she laughs. Exemplifying. Mention his name in a casual manner. “I noticed your interest in Rabbits.. you would instantly perk up if you were the crux of a conversation. At a golf club. Let me give you another example of how self-centered we are. In order to get others interested in you.Joseph Plazo No doubt about it. a-buzz with discussions of all flavor. We love hearing our names. Now pick a person in the crowd nearby. 21 Copyright 2002 . She would like nothing more than to discuss about herself and her own slice of her world. Observe a crowded room. We are all interested in ourselves. you could ask a woman at a restaurant what food she would recommend. Focus on the situation. not too softly. His ears systematically screened out all extraneous sound and focused on that one sacred word: his name.” Mentioning his quaint reading material could spark a series of replies and counter replies that would fuel conversation. Observe the goings-on and comment on it. Ask your prospect how he relates to the environment.
The best way to do that is to induce him into talking about the dearest thing to his heart: himself. but remember that your goal is not to entertain yourself. This is why you favour open ended questions. Open ended questions belong to the class of queries that are answerable by a series of statements or paragraphs. Pressing the Assault he conversation flows smoothly as a result of your suave and thoughtful queries. Poor conversationalists tend to hog the conversation.Joseph Plazo The key to conversation is lies on focusing upon the other person.5. Open ended questions nudge people into exploring themselves and elaborating at length. offer powerful tools to conquering the hearts and minds of multitudes. his interests. You objective is to get the other person interested in you. Hypnotic speaking demands that you get the other person to speak 70% of the time. Often. get him to speak. In order to use open questions. are answerable with one or two words. Recall instances when someone monopolized a conversation. hence. You eventually tuned out and begun thinking of ways to escape! To avoid the folly of boring your partner. This may bore you. You can spend an entire afternoon not saying a word and still have the other person think that you’re the most magnificent person alive. his sorrows. What then? You don’t stop!! T The hypnotic speaker nurtures a budding relationship by constantly shining the limelight upon his prospect by firing a barrage of open ended questions. They ultimately bore their listeners and alienate them. on the other hand. they go on and on talking about themselves. How? By letting him narrate his triumphs. These queries. begin your queries using the succeeding magic words: 22 Copyright 2002 . Close ended questions. 3. Shine that spotlight on your prospect and he’ll be magnetized as a deer to incoming lights. Humour him! Open ended questions provide the most powerful means of getting people to talk about themselves.
Joseph Plazo How… Why… In what way… Could you elaborate… For what reason… What Avoid questions that begin with: Where When Who Such questions invite one-word responses. What kind of questioning is this????? The latter questions are close-ended and very often. they lead to conversational deadends. You will be hard pressed to follow-up. Imagine the following conversation: You: So. where do you live? Him: New Hampshire? You: When did you begin living there? Him: Ten Years ago: You: What do you do now? Him: I’m a doctor. Consider the contrast: You: So how do you find the show? 23 Copyright 2002 . He will be forced to elaborate and will relish every minute of it. Deploy open-ended questions to engage the imagination and emotions of the other person.
Remember. he will love you for it! 3. For this.6. the psychologist will simply repeat their last word. it’s scripted. Whomever your prospect is. you shall use a bit of verbal ju-jitsu In clinical psychology. engages the other person to elaborate and search within himself for answers. I don’t know what. This causes the patient to elaborate further. (pounds his fist on the chair) You: What about wresting excites you? Him: Oh.Joseph Plazo Him: Man. as you realize. it’s terribly exciting! I love wrestling…. Open ended questions. 24 Copyright 2002 . Whenever their patient finishes saying something. Psychologist: Symbolical? Patient: They must represent something. the result is unclear. you will use your prospect’s own words to generate an ambiance of good-will and rapport. But I feel that maybe it has to do with my step-brother.. Blah blah blah. In conversations. that your initial goal as a hypnotic speaker is to get the other person to like you. This creates excitement and animation. but till the last moment. Verbal Ju-jitsu J u-jitsu makes use of the enemy’s own force to soften an attack or deflect a blow. Gets your heart pumping…. it’s all that blood and gore. Psychologist: How long have these nightmares been recurring? Patient: For a week. shrinks use a technique that gets people talking non-stop. Psychologist: Demons? Patient: Yes. I think they’re symbolical. You never know who’s gonna win. Psychologist: Step-brother?. they’re all black and carrying roses. Of course.. I’ve been seeing horrible demons.
Remember them. Personal revelations will indubitably surface and these are goldmines for you. 25 Copyright 2002 . Through the careful paraphrasing. Psychologist: You’re not sure of the link. they’re all black and carrying roses. They must represent something. Jot them down if you have to. Instead of repeating the last word. He will feel at ease and open up. I don’t know what. Patient: Yes. I’ve been seeing horrible demons. Psychologists uncover inner conflicts because layers of elaboration result from the relentless questioning. Observe the technique: Psychologist: How long have these nightmares been recurring? Patient: For a week. Psychologist: You feel these apparitions signify something you want to identify. despite its mechanical nature. but you suspect your step-brother triggers the nightmares…. you will learn how to use the bits of trivia you uncover in order to promote yourself. psychologists charge hundreds of dollars per hour simply for repeating your last word…. Psychologist: You’ve been plagued by monstrous things and you can’t rest. you are to go one step further and use a bit more finesse. I think they’re symbolical. Patient: Yes. your prospect feels that you are genuinely interested in what you have to say. you are to paraphrase the gist of your prospect’s thought. In later sections of this book. Amazingly. As a hypnotic speaker. But I feel that maybe it has to do with my step-brother.Joseph Plazo This technique delivers well.
what’s your story?” The line is magnetic. “What’s the tale behind that?” 3. The magical aspect about two seconds is that you allow the person the liberty of continuing his speech or catching his breath.7. What’s Your Story…? ecall the many movies where a character utters “So. is the time to speak. 26 Copyright 2002 . Only when he is truly done. Have the patience to wait at least two seconds. The Two Second Rule Allow the other person to narrate to his heart’s content. Don’t interrupt.7.” Or point at his broken arm and ask. No one hates anything more than being interrupted. Remember the two second rule: Don’t say anything until two seconds have elapsed after the other person’s last statement. He may have had more things to say and was just taking a breath of air. Then if he has nothing to say.” Feeling tongue tied with that amazing girl? Gesture towards her quaint brooch and whisper. watch his eyes glaze over as he delights over his tale. As you listen. He may narrate anything of current significance. “what’s the story behind that. If you start talking one second after his last statement. and have none. you risk interrupting him. just say “So what’s your story. Whoever hears that enters himself and emerge with truckloads to tell.Joseph Plazo 3. speak Give him respect and he will adore you for it. You show respect in this manner and the other person will admire you for that. R Whenever you grope for words to say.1.
You launched powerful questions to elicit answers. but also to demonstrate an understanding of the other person’s viewpoint. Established friendships allow enough conversational leeway. you weave the webs of attraction. facts. or opinions which you feel strongly for and to acknowledge them: “I agree with that” “Yes. anything goes. remember the times when both you and your best friend pranced in verbal harmony. perpetual agreement is impossible. Questioning and listening by itself works magic because you feed the ego of the other person. You relished the conversation. It is vital not just to agree. Getting into Their Skin hat you have just learned was the magic of active questioning and listening. Of course. he countered. you listened. On the other hand. Points of conflict always loom close by. Attracting your partner entails forgetting the differences for the moment and treading common ground. You must have been boiling as murderous thoughts seeped into your head. By actively seeking points to agree upon. You task. Both of you flitted on the same wavelength. You can mention something about your molars even if your friend is discussing nuclear reactors.Joseph Plazo 3. You make him feel important. Between old-time friends. you and I think alike!” 27 Copyright 2002 . Recall previous conversations where the other person did nothing but disagree. The quickest route to manifest agreement is to listen for experiences. in any new relationship is to recreate that same aura of agreement. W The time will come when you will have to state something other than a question. that is true” “That is astute. Remember that your goal is to make the other person like you.8. It was almost as though both of you arrived at the same thought at the same time. Whatever you said. Harmony and agreement flowed easily. the dynamics of conversation demand more tact. I think so myself” “That is also my understanding” “Why. As he spoke. Between acquaintances.
. Rapport between Mary and Jim becomes strong. why do we suffer such problems! I don’t think we deserve the aggravation! Observe how Mary’s feelings are accurately mirrored back to her. Mary enjoys a measure of relief. Jim demonstrates a thorough understanding of Mary’s plight through a similar one of his own. I am too! Mary: Sighh. Parallel Empathizing Commit to memory the formula to achieve parallel empathizing. 3.8. This technique is called Parallel Empathizing. She suspects they’re on drugs and she’s terribly worried. 4) Narrate your incident in direct analogy to demonstrate your sympathy for his point. He skips class. It is better to elaborate on your agreement in order to further demonstrate your empathy with the speaker. Jim: I can see what you mean. we don’t simply state our agreement. Her son avoids class just to run with that pack of bums. 1) Actively listen to the speaker 2) Understand the gist of his narration 3) Recall an incident. cheats and never does his work.1. realizing that someone else undergoes the same tribulation. Mary: I’m fed up with my son. The succeeding example illustrates the technique. My sister goes through the same hell.Joseph Plazo Oftentimes. I don’t know how to handle him anymore! I’ve given him everything. 28 Copyright 2002 . event or happening that closely parallels his experience. it is wise to recall an incident in your life that closely resembles that of your new friend’s and to narrate it in parallel. When elaborating.
29 Copyright 2002 . empathize it right away with an experience of your own. Whenever someone demonstrates passionate feeling. You will quickly get into their skin and create stronger bonds with each successful attempt.Joseph Plazo Parallel empathizing creates tremendous rapport especially if strong emotions are involved in the discussion.
His attitude. T In order to win his games. He probably also favours certain brands of balls.Joseph Plazo 4. dreams. his memories his years of experience… all these make Tiger the winning man that he is. No one could slice a ball the way he could." -. those types which only he could afford. The essence of Tiger Woods is not within you. Attitudes of Power "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. They change your face and body type. But you are not him. Like you and I. You grip his magical irons and swing. who looks inside. they choose to insert you. In his place. Most probably. you jump into the fray with your best Tiger Woods pose. Now imagine that aliens decided to abduct Tiger Woods. Badly. they pit you against an average player. he has preferences. What was the missing ingredient? You could look like Mr. And you lose. awakes. The aliens sponsor a tournament in the largest golf green and sell millions of tickets world-wide. and his shoes. Confident. his balls. Mr.Carl Jung 4. and you wield his prized implements too. Then they give you his clubs. You carry his weapons. Power Lies Within iger Woods plays a mean game of golf. 30 Copyright 2002 .1. Woods. Woods prefers certain kinds of clubs. You look like Mr. they are top-of-the-line models. Woods. Who looks outside. Now. his skill. golf shoes and apparel. The man blazes through history as the best golf player ever to walk the earth.
These attitudes compose the mind-set of the effective hypnotic speaker. If you believe that you are worthless and uncharismatic. Reinforce those which goad social flexibility. Weed out those which obstruct your quest for social triumph.2. Anyone can adopt the core attitudes. Power Attitudes 4. With these attitudes. The real hypnotic speaker first develops certain key beliefs and espouses specific power attitudes. Rumor has it that Don Juan carried the face of a maggot. Hence. examine yourself first. I readily ascertain six core attitudes which naturally promote personal power. 4. Well-developed attitudes are vital to success because they set the framework for all current and future behaviour. prior to making contact with people.2.Joseph Plazo In the same way. Yet. you cannot be a hypnotic speaker simply by knowing the techniques that you will learn in this book. In my study of human behaviour. you automatically integrate them into your personality. Check your attitudes. he seduced thousands of women because of his steely confidence. Genuine Interest in Others A thru: man who has no interest in his neighbours would readily admit that he has three best friends: “Me. Using all the techniques of persuasion and seduction in the world will not help. Myself and I. then you cannot persuade anybody. Your external techniques must be consistent with your inner beliefs. You can do it NOW by constantly behaving in a manner consistent with these attitudes. you create the edge which allows you to take command of any personal encounter.1.” An attitude of self-centeredness blatantly manifests itself in conversations Persistent interruptions Lack of focus on other speakers 31 Copyright 2002 .
4. their dreams. A few years ago. 32 Copyright 2002 . Incorrigible Humour H ow we love to laugh! Humour is the spice that breaks dire monotony and uplifts even the weariest of spirits. Rejection of constructive criticism How long do you think you can survive a conversation dominated by an abrasive speaker who refuses to listen and drawls long into the evening? You will think of all kinds of excuses to escape. a movie depicted the power of laughter. In order to create an atmosphere of cooperation. Sometimes. a doctor made the rounds among his patients dressed as a clown. Self-centered speakers cannot obtain their objectives because their very abrasiveness alienates people and ultimately fosters resistance. Talk about their needs. and will avoid all contact with him in the future. you. you are to focus the limelight on anyone but yourself. their hobbies. His hilarious antics goaded the sick onto the quick road to health. Hence. must leave your ego at the door whether you approach the negotiation table or meet with a stranger on the street. you will have created exquisite rapport. In the movie. Discuss anything under the sun for as long as it pertains to them. Everything. Remember what some doctors say? “Laughter is the best Medicine” Laughing causes the brain to release tremendous chemicals which momentarily turbo charges your entire system.Joseph Plazo Hogging conversational topics Refusal to share the floor Bragging. from your mood to your immune system skyrockets.2. Over the course of the conversation. a dose of laughter beats a ton of morphine. Put the other person’s emotional needs before your own. as a hypnotic speaker. Your interest in the other person will be appreciated and shall spark the beginnings of a mutual respect.2.
People will think of you as a fun individual and will be drawn to you. This link between confidence and posture provides you with a powerful way of infusing yourself with self-assurance anytime. Confidence emanates power. Crack an anecdote. 4. The next day. moderation should be observed. Observe how their chins jut out. he becomes an impregnable barrier reef whom others seek security from. chest out. Make your eyes sparkle. Humour in the right amounts produce grand results. carry an irrepressible sense of humour. Count how many people approach you. it’s time to pull yourself together. Almost all the stereotypical heroes in our movies reek confidence. Tease with a quip. with your eyes downcast for an hour. Move like you own the world and make eye contact. Have a good word to say to each person you meet.3.2. hypnotic speaker. People in your vicinity will find themselves infected with vivacity. Try stooping over. Confident people inspire admiration in others.Joseph Plazo Like the good doctor. walk around town with a haggard face and vicious growl. Walk tall. The next day. Your movements automatically become sluggish. For one entire day. Power attracts. Try this experiment. Crack jokes. Appearing confident gradually makes you internally confident. Now that you’re already committed to becoming a mesmerizing. how they occupy lots of space and how measured their sweeping gestures are. A sure way to inspiring others to believe in you is to appear confident. A Radiant Confidence M isery loves company and not the other way around. Make your opening lines funny. Laugh at yourself. Treat events lightheartedly (except at a funeral). You want people to laugh with you. not at you. Your posture is a good place to begin building the appearance of confidence. 33 Copyright 2002 . Make your movements slow and deliberate. plaster on a sincere smile. you will find yourself feeling depressed. Observe how your confidence surges. Breathe deeply. The difference will astound you. Inevitably. walk around ram-rod straight. Overdo it and people will judge you a buffoon. Of course. A confident man is someone to rally around.
You ordered a thick steak. you lose. hold yourself up. and over done. juicy steak. In the previous example. Thirty minutes elapse and you’re still waiting. Others will envy your poise.Joseph Plazo Whenever you feel depressed. Still no steak. Passive behaviour causes you to relinquish your rights. Overpowering Assertiveness "If I am not for myself. C) Patiently explain to the waiter that you’ve waited for an hour to dine on a rare steak. rare. eat the steak. Then the steak comes. what am I? And if not now -. and leave. and that spoon starts to look delicious. Do you: A) Swallow your pride. People who launch into explosive tirades and violent behaviour create anger and resentment in other people. Aggressive behaviour on the other hand. 34 Copyright 2002 . hence aggression must be avoided. 4.when?" -. Only the soft tinkle of the piano and the lazy fish in the aquarium diverts your attention from the gnawing hunger.4. In either case. tall and proud. The waiter promises a ten minute prep time and scurries off. and are served a substandard piece of burnt carcass. Angry people may resist. And you will love yourself for it. is overkill. feeling cheated? B) Send the steak back with thunderous threats and insults. One hour. or worse. Accepting the meal without a whimper is wrong because you lose confidence in yourself and your abilities to ask for what is rightly yours. who will be for me? And if I am only for myself.2. It’s thin. the slighted waiter could take revenge by getting another steak and secretly rubbing it on his derriere before serving it. The waiter comes and your order a thick. waited long. Forty five minutes elapse. undermine your efforts. Most people would behave passively (behaviour A) or aggressively (behaviour B).Hillel I magine for a moment that you are seated at a posh restaurant. The aggressor and his victim rarely arrive at mutual common ground.
When you feel that you have the short end of the stick. Frequently. From these basic rights are spawned other derivatives. The assertive individual always speaks his mind. Develop the propensity for initiative in all that you do till it becomes second nature. The right to refuse (unless you have prior obligations). 4. Your intuition rarely lies. Don’t wait for them to come to you. Hence. Make phone calls first. you must fire the first volley. the initiator brings with him the element of surprise. just keep these in mind and watch your dealings with people rapidly improve. This golden formula spikes up your assertive quotient ten points. then second. The best time to be assertive is when you have this queasy feeling in your gut that something is wrong. That extra edge could easily tilt the balance in his favour. he never goes home feeling cheated. A shot of assertiveness is the antidote to being a pushover. he first identifies his goals. To reach a satisfying conclusion. speak out. and negotiates for concessions. The right to demand what’s fairly yours. nor does he incur resentment in others. Your role is as catalyst.Joseph Plazo Assertive behaviour straddles a middle ground between passive and aggressive behaviour. Remember that you hold the following Trinity of Rights: The right to state your opinion. delivers them assertively. First state the situation. Think about your objectives and actively seek out your prey. Open the floor. but in a tactful manner. Come to meetings before everyone does. Intrepid Initiative E very war is started by at least one side. politely request for what you think is equitable. People will see that you mean 35 Copyright 2002 . he cannot demand what he needs in the first place.2. Like warriors. Terminate the sessions.5. however. The hypnotic speaker must inculcate assertiveness because without it.
to acknowledge borrowed ideas. and feature and discuss how you personally benefited. and integrate them into your own.6. People will love you for that. Foster will be pleased pink that you quoted him. Your relentless momentum will keep others off balance and they may soon just go along with your ideas. Recall the last time a friend animatedly narrated how she won at a casino. You will quickly learn new viewpoints and develop a rich framework that will easily tantalize the multitudes. I agree because this takes the company back to its core competency. This is not to say that you won’t listen! Listen to others. also. describe it as though it meant the world to you. mine their proposals for inspiration. When you try to sell your product. Enthusiasm creates delightful urgency in your listeners. In light of all the above. Keep at the initiative. Foster here says. take the initiative.Joseph Plazo business. Remember. thereby becoming as blissfully happy as you. Sensual Enthusiasm E nthusiasm quickly infects like a virus. you must have found yourself growing ever more enthusiastic and impatient to play. but share the glory. The alternative is to face the challenges alone. 4. I now suggest that direct mail be integrated into the macro proposal of direct distribution which I had been urging the board since the beginning….2. In fact. They won’t fool with you. 36 Copyright 2002 . The next day. Remember. He will become a staunch ally and buttress your own points in succeeding discussions. Narrate its every quirk. Your listeners will detect your sincerity and imagine how they themselves could use that product. Etc” Mr. As you listened to her rapid voice and watched the glowing sparkle in her eyes. you splurged at the casino. marketing should focus on the direct mail approach. your proposals will gain greater support if you intersperse your suggestions with lines such as: “…And as Mr.
Joseph Plazo Romance benefits from enthusiasm. and you need to demonstrate just how enthusiastic she will be when she goes out with you. I observed that people take a serious stance when selling or proposing. Laugh with gusto. As you play the love game. Charisma. Enthusiasm provides just that electric jolt. You have to engage your prospect’s mind with delightful visions of what they will experience by acceding to your proposal. 37 Copyright 2002 . and rally others to your enlightened perspective. Gesture with grandiosity. Enthusiasm spawns a delightful child. Vary the tone and timbre of your voice. infuse your words and gestures with gusto. Uncross your arms and legs. you enliven yourself. You are selling yourself. Loosen up! Armed with bubbly enthusiasm. Slam your knee. your table when you make a point. but relaxed posture. Unless you are an undertaker selling a graveyard plot. Let it rise and fall as the waves of the sea. emanate a sense of conviction. Here’s how to demonstrate enthusiasm: Smile from ear to ear. Chortling doesn’t count. Don’t fake it with that half smile. Show your pearly whites. Maintain an upright. that won’t work.
I fall in. 38 Copyright 2002 . There is a deep hole. It takes a long time to get out. I fall in. I walk down the same street. Portia Nelson We traditionally persuade others through brute force. I pretend not to see it. I pretend it's still not my fault. I walk down the same street. I don't see it. Obviously mommy didn’t like it. It isn't my fault. Remember how you coerced your mom into a candy bar as a child? You would bludgeon her with requests till she gave in. I don't fall in. There is still a deep hole. I get out quicker this time. I walk down a different street. Unleashing the Lethal Tongue I walk down the street. Over and over. I see it. There is a hole.Joseph Plazo 5. I walk down the same street. I see it. It's a habit. There is still the same deep hole. It takes a very long time to get out. hoping that the idea eventually lodges in the brain. we repeat our point. I fall in anyway. I walk around it.
this type of persuasion already works infrequently. we are still guilty of this method of persuasion. This is the system of hypnotic speaking. and Threat lose potency with time because they create irritation. this approach backfires when your listeners acquire immunity to your ranting. but because you annoyed them. It is called the “Broken Record” approach. Consider the following true-life scenarios: A soldier is prepared to die in battle because he knows that his action could 39 Copyright 2002 . the better. This technique allows you to get what you want from time to time. Some preachers levy threats when they wash our minds with hellish horror stories to scare us into repentance. Bribery is another short-lived tactic. People give in. We either beat up the bully or tune out the preacher when he spews his fire and brimstone. they are best left to amateurs. and you lose power. 5. A big enough bribe works wonders. Prepare to learn a truly influential system which creates lasting influence. on their volition. Bullies love to pronounce grave bodily harm so as to pressurize weaker individuals. Conviction provides emotional driving force that readily sustains action. we are aware that the best way to get someone to do something is to have him fiercely believe in what he is doing.Joseph Plazo As mature adults. Don’t make the mistake of employing brute tactics over and over until you find yourself simply ignored. thereby empowering them to act upon it. They work overtly.1. Nuke the Senses N aturally. Run out of money. not because you convinced them. Other conventional approaches to persuasion involve threats. Today. Truly powerful persuasion techniques convince others of your point. Bomb the Emotions. Eventually. The less aware the other person is of your attempt. The ideal persuasion system touches the emotions and acts upon the psyche very subtly. Traditional methods like the Broken Record Method. Hence.
Once first contact is made and the relationship gets off on the right foot. now.1. having Hitler’s verbal prowess. Since his time. Strong emotions ultimately compel obedience to your suggestions. of enthusiasm. that his countrymen championed the cause. of urgency. Emotional people will act without further goading. You can also employ it to entertain. Indeed. The Framework of Hypnotic Speech H ypnotic speech is a comprehensive system of conversing. Like Hitler. Imagine. They believed that Jews must be purged and so they acted upon it. Or you could apply it to amuse yourself.Joseph Plazo save his hometown. Stalin and Napoleon used to gift of fiery speech to launch action. You can use it for reasons other than persuading others. Recall how Hitler rallied his country to bloody war. Mao Tse Tung. You must create a strong emotional belief before you could expect anyone to follow. Hypnotic speech is flexible. Caring mothers give up their careers because they believe that their sick child deserves full-time support These people all believed in what they did. History proved that Hitler’s flavour of hypnotic speech worked well. but because he sees his mandate as a self-less healer. Belief spurs action. then comes the time to begin weaving the spells of hypnotic speech. You kindle. The previous sections discussed ways of successfully approaching an individual. A doctor works 24hour shifts not because of pay. Even after the speech ends. hypnotic speech is powerful. the behavioural sciences unearthed more systematic methods of igniting a man into action. a sense of excitement. Charismatic leaders understand that their constituents will unite when emotionally stimulated. 40 Copyright 2002 . Hitler knew how to stir up emotion. Hitler hated the Jews and stirred up a national hatred so vicious. Hitler knew how to speak hypnotically. regardless of its immorality. plus a host more! 5.1. the embers of the message remains. Hypnotic speech explodes an incendiary conviction within your listener by directly engaging his emotions.
please.2. this is achieved through powerful words.Joseph Plazo The succeeding sections impart the core aspects of hypnotic speech. The Power of Positive Statements “Don’t raise your voice at me!!!” “Kindly keep you tone down. Asserting in the Affirmative 5. Understanding the framework of the system now allows you to fully absorb the techniques. Shall we begin… 5. Remember that emotions result in action.2. Among these include: Learning how words should be structured in order to reduce resistance to your proposals. Understanding how emotions are brought about and how you can invoke them at will. you want to be able to ignite emotions with your words! Learning a how to deliver your words powerfully and engage all the senses.1.” Which of the two previous directives are you more inclined to follow? Here are two more: 41 Copyright 2002 . known to practitioners of NLP as presuppositions and their appropriate sentence structure. and Discovering how to unearth your prospect’s desires and use them to promote your own. Primarily.
okay?” Positive statements build rapport. I’m pretty sure the baby would bawl ever louder. “Hush. shan’t . don’t. I don’t think we could help you with that. Issuing directives or suggestions. You could instead say.Joseph Plazo Salesclerk A: “No. adults respond to positive and negative statements in the same way. A key rule in persuasive. “DON’T CRY ANYMORE! It’s driving me nuts!”. The incidence of either would probably drop.” If you want him to continue forgetting to close the door. Suggest what can be done. hypnotic speaking is to always always. Adults hate being told what NOT to do. likewise must not be perceived as a restriction of liberties. Part of the desire to speed comes from its forbidden nature. don’t leave that door open. always use the affirmative sentence structure. Observe how negatively worded statements (they typically have the word don’t) tend to create emotional resistance. no. You tempt rebellion by saying things like won’t. suggest to him. Rapport creates attraction. kindly close the door behind you. in soothing tones. From now on. Don’t tell what shouldn’t be done. They see it as a restriction on their liberties.” Salesclerk B: “Could we help you with something else?” You’d probably want to hit Salesclerk A. If a baby were crying and you scream. Imagine if speeding and doing drugs became legal. “Son. when your son leaves the door open. say “Hey. Like babies. Attraction is the tool of hypnotic speakers like yourself. hush little one… go to sleep… sleep…” Voila! The baby nods to sleep in moments. 42 Copyright 2002 .
Mothers hug their children. Recall his animated TV interviews. Not so. depending on the situation. touching becomes frequent. Drinking buds punch each other playfully. Part of the dynamic involves touching. Spread your feet. Here are ways to exude a positive outlook: Learn to handshake like an upbeat general who just won the war. Living la Vida Loca R icky Martin obviously lived the life. Leave that long face at home.2. 43 Copyright 2002 . No wonder his concerts sold out. shoulder width. It elevates a relationship to higher levels. Lots of it. Tackle the world with spunk! As mentioned in earlier sections. Ricky teaches you the value of a positive outlook. Lovers caress a cheek. 5. The man had energy to spare and his fans wanted to share in his dynamism. Friends tickle each other. carry yourself positively. In addition to speaking positively. positive people attract people. Arms could be mounted akimbo. Touching Magic ne overlooked aspect of interpersonal communications is the art of touching. Positive energy must ooze from your pores if you want to inspire others. Look at his sizzling dance steps. Say what you mean.3. Move vigorously and pack some pep into your steps. Talk with animation! Explore your entire range of facial expressions Move briskly or deliberately. Don’t be coy about it.2. Touch conveys intimacy.Joseph Plazo 5. People think that conversation simply involves speaking. O When people get close to each other. Use eye contact. Occupy as much space as you can. He burst with energy and it was contagious.
he gallantly insists on holding her by the waist. When touching. you convey confidence.Joseph Plazo One scientifically confirmed method of creating strong rapport between strangers is to increase the incidence of touching. 44 Copyright 2002 . Then back off. Strangers who begin touching each other rapidly break down impersonal barriers. these are the touchy-feely types. Something must be wrong with that relationship! As could be observed. This way. Grip someone firmly the first opportunity you could. the deeper the friendship. They become comfortable with each other. For each person. Generally. When crossing the street. there is a direct relationship between the level of friendship and the frequency of touch. Should he feel courageous enough. the goal is to find the optimum level of touching with each person you meet. thereby raising the relationship level. Moderate your touching to the amount your companion feels comfortable with. There are also some who get queasy with constant touching. the most obvious is the handshake. Some like it a lot. Imagine being with a wife for ten years whom you’ve never even touched. When you touch someone. Then proceed with light taps to the forearm. he could brush an imaginary lint off the cheek. Watch your prospect ease up with ten successive touches. remember two things. shoulder or bicep. Between men. A playful punch works wonders to increase rapport. a whole range of touches could be used to subtly hint at intimacy. For you. you convey silent messages like: “I am at ease with you” “You interest me” “I want to get closer” “Let’s close the distance between us” Refusal to touch indicates aloofness. Touching pays off in spades provided it is done correctly. A man could lightly squeeze the forearm or shoulder. Between a man and a woman. the desired frequency of touching varies. You can touch someone in various ways. the more overt and the more numerous the touches. Keep touching them until you sense a resistance.
keep your touches to the shoulder. When dealing with women. (looking bored) A barter of nothing but facts does little to stimulate the emotions. small talk results in emotional dead ends because it degrades into an exchange of facts after facts. 5. personal background… and yes. Don: So. the weather. Other zones are forbidden. particularly if common ground is not arrived upon. So I’m at the gym most of the time. Second. I just moved in two years ago. Eva: So I see. you live here? Eva: Yes. Both parties inevitably bore each other. T Small talk is your attempt to interest the other person in you and it is your probe to ascertain that this person is worth your time. and more importantly. arm and waist regions. like politics. Don: Uh. Facts have as much colour as a can of white paint. you tend to discuss harmless facts. know the frequency of the touch. How have you been amusing myself. Okay.4. Don: I’m at the gym too. Know when a light grazing is preferable to a manly squeeze. Consider the following exchange between Don and Eva at the gym. Don: So…. Not enough is better than too much because your partner might sue for harassment. You surely guarantee conversational failure unless you 45 Copyright 2002 . Upon meeting someone new. hone the quality of your touch. Eva: I have no work yet. Often. Sizzling Small Talk he first spring board to any truly fulfilling discussion is small talk.Joseph Plazo First. Looking for a job? Eva: Sigh…. to lose weight.
“what does that make you feel?” People. “how do you feel about that?”. Ask how someone feels and she enters herself to seek the answers. Splatter that conversation with colour. X with the misfortune. In this way. The key. Small talk already provides an excellent avenue for exploring feelings and arousing emotions. During the narration. or how disclosing a sad story makes you cry. you must find the other person’s “hot spots” or interests. and women in particular. This is the psychological principle of association. You cannot tell stories in an emotional vacuum. bring in the emotions! Hypnotic speakers who seek to win a contract or woo a girl automatically realize that every conversation should be an avenue to arouse latent emotions. You know that feeling? And then you get second wind and then you just keep on going… Don: Oh yes. If you incur bad luck and Mr. she will link them to you unconsciously. X always happens to be around when that happens. understand. Whatever emotions she experiences. she will naturally and immediately experience the emotions that she describes. The nature trail gives me such a rush. you will then associate Mr. love being asked how they feel about something. Roughing it 46 Copyright 2002 . demonstrate empathy by using the parallel empathizing method discussed much earlier. regardless of whether there is a connection. You must enjoy it… what do you like to experience here? Eva: I love the way aerobics pumps me up. like the Energizer bunny huh? I feel the same way when I go on my annual wilderness hike. You will avoid Mr. to creating fulfilling discussions and satisfying relationships is to deploy small talk that gets the person talking and experiencing POSITIVE emotion. then. Here’s an example of eliciting positive emotion: Don: I noticed you come to the gym regularly. X. You can bring out emotions by prodding your partner with words like feel. Recall how telling a funny incident makes you laugh all over again. experience. so alive! It’s like I can leap and bounce until I drop. and probe how she feels about them.Joseph Plazo direct the discussion towards something with a bit more sizzle. In order explode a conversation with emotional colour. the person associates you with happy times and begins to find you magnetic. aware. Ask her. I feel so stretched. Once you learn how she feels.
When you share interests with me. you begin to find yourself at ease because you assume we think alike. Creating Magnetism with Similarity 5. So how do you feel when you get home after a wonderful day at the gym? Evan: (gushing) blah blah blah Once wondrously pleasurable emotions go on rampage. a biological and psychological compatibility 47 Copyright 2002 .5. Observe the important words marked in red. People begin to like each other as soon as they discover common interests. then surely. It’s a psychologically proven fact. Same here. you can naturally expect that the other person will look forward to more conversations with you. The Power of Apparent Similarity B irds of a feather flock together. I’m glad I met you….5.1. That’s why we have cliques of like minded individuals and organizations composed of people with similar pursuits. They are discussed in the next section. 5. Don: Hahaha. If we think alike.Joseph Plazo makes me feel attune with nature and wild… you know… without boundaries… fearless! Eva: Wow! You remind me of me! We both love the effort of exertion.
When she raises her glass. Mine them for those which you agree with. When compatible people mingle. This person. Prod the other person into revealing aspects about herself. Lovers at a restaurant unconsciously demonstrate mirroring. Maybe he shared you passion for racing. Mirroring. Or both of you had that unique fondness for fried goose liver pate. “Me too!”. Recall an instance when you met an acquaintance who seemed to indulge in all the hobbies you had and who talked. Compatibility is nature’s way of putting different organisms together. “Wow. just like me!” The principle is not to overdo it. You may begin to appear insincere if you agree with everything only to contradict yourself much later. interests and loves. walked and even dressed similar to you. You can do this easily with phrases like. is most probably a very close friend of yours. The man and the woman lean towards each other at the same angle. 5. he raises his spoon. In order for magnetism to occur between two persons.2. They would also wave or gesticulate at nearly the same time and manner. They tilt their heads in the same direction. the man sneezes. “Same here!”. P eople who have achieved a very deep conversational rapport begin doing something which perceptive observers consider amazing: a very obvious mirroring of posture and gesture. Listen for ideas that she shares. Stars will sparkle in her eyes. 48 Copyright 2002 .The Sneaky Method of Creating Similarity Mirroring pertains to the phenomenon whereby two rapt individuals adopt strikingly similar bodily positions. the probability for antagonism is low and mutual support is high. And vocalize your agreement. There’s less chaos.5.Joseph Plazo exists. You can observe this between best friends who slouch the same way as they talk. it is vital to introduce similarity. When the woman coughs. Then demonstrate how you agree or sympathize with her paradigms.
I’ve got an amazing secret to share. By heaping electric words one after the other. which is a state of accelerated learning and relaxation. What is important is that you employ the same movements. but take care to move a few seconds after she has. An almost supernatural attraction occurs between mirroring individuals. The ad not only proposed some wondrous benefit. Each time you use such a word. adopt the same gestures as your prospect. This has implications for the hypnotic speaker. certain words create an emotional spike. it liberally machine gunned your consciousness with words like: T here is actually no secret. Remember that it is not necessary to do exactly the same thing. Recall instances when an ad stole your attention and held you in thrall. Prolonged focus creates a hypnotic effect. 49 Copyright 2002 . As a person enters the alpha-state. you rivet your listener’s focus upon you. You should look like a mirror image of her. You can exploit this natural phenomenon to enhance your social circle. he becomes highly impressionable.Joseph Plazo Mirroring indicates a strong bonding. and an almost narcotic concentration. Should you wish to induce instant enthrallment with someone else. For instance. In the English language. his mind absorbs information like a sponge. you lull your listener into a near alpha-state enthrallment. Electric Words Psssst…. Ripe for persuasion. 5. apply it even with strangers! Give it a shot. You will observe his eyes glazing over. you may scratch your nose if she rubs her eye. so as not to appear to overt.6. Subtlety prevents suspicion. I merely demonstrated how using impact words create sudden interest. Observe how you already do it spontaneously with people you feel comfortable with. begin by adopting the same pose as the other person. Furthermore. Now. In short. and from exhaustive studies. his breathing slowing down. is proven to create very potent rapport. Mirroring occurs naturally in situations between intimate friends.
it is electric. The very word discover itself is electric. Electric words are best used at the onset of your persuasive speech to ensnare attention. For as long as your words ignite curiosity and create a desire to discover. promote mystery and demand action. The list of electric words go beyond those which I’ve listed for your convenience. I will reveal all to you…” Even if nature called. With discover you tantalize your listener into lusting for a secret… another hypnotic word. That is not hypnotic. Once you see that you’ve hooked your listener.Joseph Plazo Amazing Sensational Breakthrough Secret Proven Controversial Sexy Guaranteed Horrifying Discover/ Explore Realize Revealed Power / love Glorious Slammed Impressive Electric words create sudden interest because they inspire curiosity. you would have delayed it till the speaker delivered his piece. Do you think you could resist a speaker who takes the floor. Don’t send your listeners to the dictionary. Use the word bloody instead of sanguinary. Electric words offer situational versatility. One hint for creating electric words: Make them snappy and single/dual-syllabled. raises his hand for silence and thunders: “Gentlemen! It has come to my attention that a breakthrough discovery at NASA has rocked the scientific community. Today. you can taper off in your use of these high-impact words. Use them frequently at your discretion: 50 Copyright 2002 .
Yawns indicate waning interest.Joseph Plazo Some electric words Sales “Mr. Power Up Your Verbs and Kick Them Off! E lectric words offer a good enthralling start. Smith we understand your desire to improve office productivity. could you maintain that attention long after you’ve ventured into the middle of your speech? A fiery start may end in a crash and burn situation unless you pump a steady flow of adrenaline. I would like for us to explore something really amazing…” 5. there’s a secret I’ve been dying to share…. 51 Copyright 2002 . you effectively trap attention. every waking moment….1. What we offer now is a controversial. Fortunately.” (dramatic pause) “How you would feel to discover that I’ve loved you since that day on the beach…long ago… how you’ve been my heart and my soul.7. The question is. The Big Guns: Stealthy Word-Play I 5..7. With it. We guarantee that you will find that the XL5-C will boost your income 500%!” Romance “Clarissa. yet amazing discovery which has slammed the competition. you will now learn a magnetic delivery method that sustains interest long after you’ve stopped shooting the electric words.
For the beginning, let’s make a simple statement. “The robber was kicked by Jack” Sound good? Not very awe inspiring. Jack looked like a wimp. “Jack kicked the robber.” Better. Yet we could improve on the wording and tonality. Jack appears to need a bit of adrenaline. “Jack slammed the robber and spilled his guts!” (Italicized words are mentioned in louder, firmer tones) Now how’s that? Jack certainly got the robber’s attention, and he got all the bystanders gawking as well. Bravo for Jack! Jack illustrates a sure-fire way of maintaining interest. As a speaker, you deliver your sentences in the active form. Saying that “the robber was kicked by jack” is passive and diminishes the sense of movement. State all your verbs in the active tense and you already pump up the adrenaline. Deploy the use of colourful verbs. “Kick” is an everyday word that lost much emotional impact. When you say “slam”, people imagine bone crunching action. It hurts. That makes it hypnotic. Remember that throughout the conversation, you must maintain a charged atmosphere. Keep your prospect at the edge of her seat. Using high impact verbs delivered in the active form overwhelms the dam of emotions. For as long as you channel those emotions towards your objectives, you can persuade people. A few more examples should illustrate the point. “Mr. Smith howled in protest and knocked over the thief” “Mary Jane quivered in anticipation after tearing open the envelope.”
“You will leap with delight as the income figures rocket through the roof”
5.7.2. Tri-Component Narratives
e have five senses. We explore the world through the sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell. The world takes on a three dimensional form as our senses assimilate all that stimuli and feeds them to our brain.
Snuff off the sense of sight. Suddenly, the world loses a vital dimension. We lose our appreciation of rainbows, of blue skies of emerald trees. We may hear the rustling of the leaves and experience the grit of the loamy earth, but we feel… incomplete. Blindness robs you of the total experience. The sensuality we enjoyed as a whole individual is gone. If the loss of a sense drastically impacts our perception of the world, imagine now, how important the synergy of all sensory input must be to the brain? The brain requires as much sensual stimuli as possible in order to create sense out of every experience. Powerful, persuasive conversation should therefore offer a multifaceted, multisensual narration to fully capture an experience and create compelling pictures. If you are to influence someone, you must engage his imagination fully by describing a benefit or a phenomenon from all sensual perspectives. Use your sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell. With such a complete, three dimensional picture, your listener will automatically find your proposals irresistibly compelling. Observe the following example: “Mr. Wakefield, with the XM5 mainframe installed, you will not only see happy customers flooding your door, you will also hear your employees tittering with delight over its ease of use. Your building will literally flood with business. Can you hear the ring of your cash register now…. You can already smell success, can’t you?” Engage as many of the senses as possible, and your speech creates a compelling pull that you yourself will find irresistible!
5.7.3. Similes and Parallelisms
simile pertains to phrases which compare different ideas. We learned about similes in grammar school; today, we sadly relegate that skill to the dusty shelves of our minds. (That, incidentally, was a simile)
It is pitiful because similes evoke forceful imagery that arouses emotions. Consider how similes enliven your speaking: “.… fights like a lion; sting like a bee,” “…. rage like a typhoon” “…. Attract girls like a magnet.” The idea behind similes is to create alluring parallels between your vague concepts and that of a concrete, easily observable idea. Imagine telling a woman: “Your eyes make my knees quiver like a reed in a storm… oh how you make my heart sing like violins… after all these years, be mine!” Deploy similes and charge your listener’s mind with powerful imagery. Are you aware that with frequent simile usage, what you say becomes as compelling as a gun to your head. That, too, is a simile. Did you find that compelling enough?
For those who crave a more forceful evocation of emotional imagery, you may deploy metaphors. ‘
etaphors mimic similes, but are more direct. Similes use the words “as… as” and “like.” Hence, we have similes that go “a smile as radiant as the sun.”
To use metaphors, first, take the concept you want to explain, and describe it in terms of concrete events. The difference is that with metaphors, you eliminate the words “as…as” and “like” Consider Mr. Jameson’s case: “So, Mr. Jameson, you find your production process sluggish? I guarantee that the employee empowerment program will reduce your turn-over cycle and allow you to rebound with an explosive slam-dunk of your profit goals.” The link between business process and basketball incites action. If Mr. Jameson were a basketball fan, he would appreciate the analogy all the more… and be compelled to act upon it. Listen to romantic Don Juan’s love metaphor… “Marian, allow me to whisk you away from all this so we can strum beautiful music on the strings of your heart…” Naughty knaves use it to seduce… “Desiree, I will now ravage your flower and take command of your heart!” Depending on your delivery, similes and metaphors could get anyone palpitating over an acquisition or dripping with romantic desire.
5.7.5. Mesmerizing Tales
ack in your youthful years, you would snuggle on grandma’s lap as she spins tales of adventure.
you can recount the solid years of performance and loyalty that the plants’ staffers have poured into it… and how they brought the company’s stock ratings through the roof. Storytelling forms key part of the hypnotic speaker’s arsenal. he would weave a tale of heroic veterans who braved formidable odds to survive.Joseph Plazo Granny told stories so compellingly! Whether she whispered of a big bad wolf or screamed of a rampaging lion. he bowled those women over because he told stories with such erotic passion. You can find people easily persuadable if you first tell them a story geared to arouse emotions related to your objectives. If you are a salesman arguing for an amazing new product. Before you would drop off to sleep. you would shiver with delicious fear. Then. you can narrate how previous customers have burned with enthusiasm for it. and how they proliferated uncontrollably. Stories rally soldiers to war. in fact. Nonetheless. If you are a glib-tongued romancer. Stories stimulate moods and emotions because a person who listens to a story has no recourse but to imagine what you tell in order to understand it. later. you can seduce a woman’s heart by relating someone else’s a passionate love story in erotic tones. Granny knew how to rivet your attention. His speeches incited fury because he magnified details of how the Jews sapped the German nation of their resources. 56 Copyright 2002 . you would drool as she described gingerbread houses and succulent candy canes. But Hitler demonstrated how powerfully you can channel action through the use of tales. If you are a CEO asserting that the board maintains its old plants instead of scuttling them. Stories have magic. Stories can arouse emotions in a manner that almost no other technique can. He lacked a great deal in the looks department. Let me tell you a real secret this time. I could bet that you have far better looks than he had. Don Juan was a masterful story teller. I once mentioned how well Hitler enraged his nation at the Jews. that women throbbed in lust for him. Hitler was wrong of course. Do you remember those war films wherein a commander inflames his men with a rousing speech? Very often. your mind still rings with her immersive stories… and you dream of them in earnest. Each night. The men imagine the hardships of the heroes and find themselves energized with vigour. He created a despicable image of Jews as rabid rats that multiplied and spread filth. her tales rocked you on an emotional roller coaster ride.
Then one morning. I studied the stock market and saw that Risk-Tech was on the ascent. hey. Physically manifest the emotion that you are narrating. the price per share doubled to $16. See. Michael Dell and John D. follow the succeeding steps: Powerful Tale Crafting State the emotion that you want to provoke. That’s how I felt ten years ago before I invested in Risk-Tech stock. I woke up and wondered why the hell are these bankers making profits out of my money and they’re only paying me 4 measly percent?? I mean. Let’s imagine that we want John to become a risk taker and experience a desire to buy in a certain speculative stock. we could reap a reward that compensates the anxiety of doing something new…” 57 Copyright 2002 . It’s your hard-earned money. I was rich… oh boy oh boy oh boy… My mind played with the possibilities of what that money could do for me. and I agree that keeping it in the bank is probably the safest thing you could do with it. “John. that’s outrageous. What they did is go out and jump into dizzying high-stakes gambles. I mean. Here’s how we would weave a tale compelling him to proceed. John. They didn’t make their fortunes by keeping their greenbacks in the bank. you must first identify the specific emotion that you wish for your listener to assume. I called my broker without a word and plunged right in.Joseph Plazo When you decide to use the power of stories.000 shares at $8 each. Escalate the story telling with growing passion until your prospect throbs with the emotion you are inducing. So that’s what I did. I wanted to make it big and the only way to accomplish this is through some daring. Describe in lucid detail the subjective experience you are provoking. Bill Gates. That’s when I decided that I’ve had enough of being too timid. I understand how you feel about caution. You have the right to safeguard it. For as long as we are open to exploring some calculated risk. Then two weeks later. I felt really high… almost detached from my body as I ordered him to purchase 10. Once you have pinpointed that emotion. Rockefeller weren’t grannies. now.
I remember long ago when I was fourteen and these bullies picked on me everyday at school. being quiet doesn’t help. They never picked on me again because I decided to try a different tack of approaching my problems…” 5. I told them to stop. So I resolved to try a new way of approaching the situation. They sneered and I got more clothes torn.” “For three years.” “Then on the 8th month of my practice I got my brown belt.7. I signed up abruptly. the bullies came and I no longer stood like a passive shmuck. I passed this dojo at main street. I often went home with bloody knees. It’s amazing just how being open minded improves how you do thing and perceive experiences. I kept it secret from mom of course and I never fought back because I believed that if I just kept quiet. Magnetic Interrogatives Did you know that there’s a powerful way to focus attention like a laser? Do you want to learn it? 58 Copyright 2002 . They would push me around and tear at my shirt. I wanted the bullying to stop.” “Then one day. ready to try anything. I grinned. I begun to question my belief in being passive. I got my ass kicked by the bullies. you’ve snagged him! Here’s a final example. At first. I practiced every night for months. I could barely believe how fast I moved. they never went away. this time with the objective of getting someone to have an open mind.Joseph Plazo A technique in story telling is never to mention your prospect in your story. So the next day. I knew I was prepared. your prospect subconsciously feels safe to experience the emotion that your real or fictional characters are experiencing. They were a crumpled wreck in minutes…” “I finally stood up for myself and I felt proud. They taught martial arts and I was fascinated with how smaller kids could overpower the larger ones. I think all of this would be pretty different if we had an open mind about it. Obviously. By recounting the stories of other people. Secretly. I was all fired up.6. “Mark. I spoke up. During day time. Once he begins immersing in those emotions. they would go away.
Questions are powerful. Craft a teasing rhetorical question Follow up with a series of related questions which are answerable with your solutions. you immediately capture the mind’s focus and set it working on an answer. Janine. Maybe you’re wondering what it would take to put a smile on that cute face of yours? I wonder how delighted you would be to just be spontaneous? Do you like seeing the sights?.. Incredible. isn’t it? Questions are very persuasive.. How about a bit of excitement right this very minute? Sound good? Do you think feeling the rush of wind as you just drive off somewhere would make you feel good?. The human mind is designed to seek solutions to problems. Follow up with the solution that you want your prospect to believe in. What do you say? 59 Copyright 2002 .. Here are the rules for question making: Know beforehand the answers that your questions seek. I grabbed your attention with the promise of a secret. Ricky: Would you like to have a bit of fun?. through the use of tantalizing questions. As the brain churns to come up with an answer. he latches on to it as a drowning man to a life preserver. Consider Ricky.. Bombarding someone’s mind with question after question causes him to stop thinking and to crave for an immediate answer. In that last sentence. who intends to ask Janine out on a sudden road trip: Ricky: You look bored Janine… Janine: sigh. be sure that it is positively worded and that it taunts with a hint of mystery. As you launch a question.. You can use questions as powerful openers.. They direct the mind to pay close attention. the car is gassed up and ready to go. Once you give the solution.Joseph Plazo And there is. yes I am. By posing a rhetorical question. you help guide it by feeding it with the information you want to infuse into your listener.
Joseph Plazo Questions can also be deployed as hidden directives.7. Now if you reworded that question to inject emotion into it. and finally concluded with: 60 Copyright 2002 . That doesn’t sound persuasive. And use them frequently. imagine asking someone: “Do you want to buy my bag?” Hard sell. Properly worded. Shrouded Interrogatives If a salesman delivered a lengthy speech on the merits of Widget DR5. you create subtle force in the direction of an affirmative answer. Therein lies its power. “Do you realize how delighted you will be when you buy this sturdy Gucci?” By implying delight in the question. “I wonder if you would be gallant enough to open the door for me?” “I wonder how soon you will realize a mastery of Lethal Tongue… and how delighted you will be?” “How pleased you will be to discover your powers of influence increasing with each chapter of this book?” Use interrogative techniques with the implication of positive benefit.7. 5. For instance. you can order someone to do something if you use questions draped in pleasant vibes. you can influence the mind. Here are a few more power questions.
you don’t want to hear anymore? That means it’s alright to proceed with the order…” In the courts of law. you still trap him into acceding to your final objective. So. At saturation point. “We proceed with the order then.7. The first question. A complex question is in fact a shrouded interrogative.Joseph Plazo “Sir. would you like to hear more. this type of question is called a complex question. the brain stops analyzing what you are trying to say and allows your message to hit home. Say yes. Now. or shall we proceed with the order?” Tricky question isn’t it? Even if you didn’t desire to buy. Other examples follow: “Would you like to discuss this further or shall we execute the decision?” “Do you need to have anymore information before we give the go signal?” Tricky. The witness cannot answer yes or no to both questions at the same time. and the salesman will say. answering yes or no will not send him away. which is answerable by the second question. The one true use of the barrage of ambiguous statements is to convey multiple meanings and through them.8. 5. aren’t they.” Say no. easily trick the mind into 61 Copyright 2002 . and the salesman will say. Creating the master question requires that you link two separate questions at the same time. you’ve heard all the benefits that this system offered you. Stealthy Ambiguities T he persuasive speaker often resorts to ambiguities when he runs out of logical support. whether answerable with a yes or no. even if the prospect answers in the negative. Ambiguities that are bunched up together confuses the listener’s mental processes. “Very well sir. ultimately confirms the final question. Judges forbid such questioning because it confuses witnesses. Ambiguities pertain to statements which could mean several things at once.
I visited a chateau that serves excellent sparkling red and steak that really melts… all overlooking the crashing waves fifty feet below. That would be a wonderful feeling. The prospect will also be confused over whether the grand thing is the upcoming merger or the history of successful alliances. precisely what that amazing thing refers to is unknown. I know of all these little companies that combined and became financial juggernauts—they rake in billions. which is what you wanted the listener to experience from the start. 62 Copyright 2002 . Rescue the listener from confusion by saying something very simple. or the previous successful mergers. I tell you. What you have achieved is to link positive emotions to the decision of merging. on an emotional level. Another expert example of crafting ambiguities: “I feel both of us would love to dine by candlelight one balmy evening. Think of that amazing thing. An example of creating ambiguities: “It would be great to proceed with the merger. Think of relishing all that. It’s like using magic to blind the eye and pull out a desired emotion from the confusion. It could mean the pending merger. How do you use ambiguous statements to consolidate your point? Deliver a series of ambiguous statements till confusion results. isn’t it?” In the example.Joseph Plazo selecting the meaning you want through a last statement which sorts out the chaos. the success of the previous mergers is linked to the upcoming merger as being grand. Nonetheless. That’s a grand thing. don’t you think?” You sneaky sly dog! What exactly is the wonderful feeling? Both of you dining by candlelight? Or experiencing an evening at that chateau? Whatever that wonderful feeling pertains to you have created positive emotions towards the prospect of dining out. Tremendous experience.
you allow him to experience possibilities that he could never have considered before. “Can you imagine a point later in the future when doing _____ will be natural for you?” “What would it be like if you can actually do _________” “Was there ever a time in the past when accomplishing ________ was simplicity in itself?” By moving your listener’s perception of time to some other past or future point.9. As he then narrates those possibilities and experiences vivid emotions linked to them. Time Warping O ften times. Highlighted below are potent examples to warp time. and you.Joseph Plazo Be ambiguous to confuse. you both move closer to securing the objective you initially set out for him: gradually adopting your proposal. 5. In order to open up the mind to new possibilities. 63 Copyright 2002 . your decisions are rooted to the here and now. it becomes necessary to project actions either to the past or to the future. they cannot refuse. it becomes hard to change your mind. Time weighs you down like an anchor.7. The moorings are then cast off and the mind can freewheel with endless prospects. Hence.
8. but which he is not aware of yet. A subset of the paradigm is composed of desires and impulses. For instance a man may have a strong impulse for wealth accumulation due to his upbringing in an aristocratic home.Joseph Plazo 5. The Big Guns: Stealthy Word-Play II 5. While most impulses remain dominant and obvious throughout one’s life. If you had a little intuition like that. The sum total of his world. whether it exists or not. you surface a hidden facet of your prospect. you will discover that other drives also do exist. maybe you would heed its call and rake in prosperity!” 64 Copyright 2002 . There’s more money in entrepreneurship. Behaviours that are inconstant are resultant of secondary drive.1.8. his secondary carnivore instincts compel him to consume meat. often thought a small voice in him demanded that he quit his job and just venture off on his own. Shifting Paradigms A person views the world in a specific manner. In simpler terms. A secondary drive manifests itself only occasionally. The existence of secondary drives easily allows you to utilize creative means of persuasion! You can successfully create new behaviours if you describe a desired behaviour to your listener as something inherently part of him. after all. For example: “Have you ever felt that there’s a part of you yearning to explore making new friendships? Isn’t that a great feeling?” “Ever got the sensation that a bit of you longs for some risky excitement? Maybe you would like to experience that with me. John. now?” “My friend. But once in a blue moon. For instance a dominant vegetarian will eat greens everyday.view is a paradigm.
NLP. wondering whether he should follow. The words naturally and already begin are presuppositions which made it very easy for you to accept the command. Rewording the command yields a more palatable directive: “Naturally.8. Power Presuppositions K enrick Cleveland easily ranks among the most effective practitioners of NLP. given that command. commands restrict our liberties.” Isn’t the second version far easier to follow? You will immediately find less internal resistance to accede to the suggestions. You will learn dozens of such powerful words in a few moments. Among Kenrick’s esteemed body of research. will hesitate a bit.2. Commands that sound blunt and blatant create resistance.Joseph Plazo 5. you will already begin to find good reason to accede to my request once you understand the benefits. Now. known as presuppositions. As we are aware. one will discover the existence of powerful words. Kenrick crafted a list of eighteen powerful words of persuasion which is used by hundreds of NLP practitioners in their quest for influence. How does this work? 65 Copyright 2002 . hence we resist commands. or Neurolonguistic Programming examines how linguistic patterns influence behaviour. analyze the following command: “You will find good reason to accede to my request once you understand the benefits” A listener. Presupposition carry supersonic persuasive impact and could penetrate the mind like a stealth fighter.
understand. allows. around stop. and not always to directives. When the word naturally is tacked on to the sentence. Presuppositions allow you the flexibility of delivering volleys of directives under the guise of being simple statements of fact. Presuppositions are like stealth fighters that sneak messages under your radar in order to deliver the payload. immediately. already. 66 Copyright 2002 . I liberally sprinkled presuppositions to ensure that the statements I made seep into your mind faster. a directive transforms into a statement of fact. enlarge.Joseph Plazo Presuppositions presuppose the existence of some fact. the propensity to question what follows diminishes. automatically. easily. You don’t even detect that there is an attempt to blind you to a blatant command. eventually. Hence. What were actually implied directives. before. In the English language. wonder cause. when beyond. truly. first. justifies. all persuasive effort consists of suggestions and commands. scores of presuppositions exist. Essentially. obviously. now fell. further. during. forces after. second. With presuppositions. under. experience. Presuppositions increase your ability to issue orders by eliminating resistance to them. These eminent doctors are the founders of the NLP system. begin aware. You accept them at face value. while. Facts don’t give you a choice. readily. only. Throughout this book. realize. unlimited. until. All this occurs on the subliminal level. consider. These include: Category Adverb/Adjective Awareness Cause and Effect Temporal and Time Spatial Command Examples naturally. expand. NLP practitioners neatly divided these presuppositions into six primary categories. Note: for a more complete list of NLP presuppositions. People always agree to facts. refer to the works of Bandler and Grinder. you are told that whatever follows the word naturally is natural. When do you use presuppositions? You always use them to mask direct commands. discover.
” The statement dropped a load of presuppositions! However. you will begin to realize the importance of developing your persuasive skills.Joseph Plazo appeared to be facts. That means that the mind will accept them without question. Placing a presupposition after a command dilutes its effect. how the power disappears in a flash. Observe. two rules in deploying presuppositions: Use a presupposition immediately before a command. “Already. Use as many presuppositions within a statement and a paragraph as possible. Only with a well-honed ability to persuade can begin you triumph in your business negotiations. The more presuppositions.” Here’s another example: “You will immediately realize your life improving after maximizing your persuasive abilities. 67 Copyright 2002 . hence you accepted them without question. Observe. now. That sudden awareness allows you to study your skills all the more!!” Strip off the presuppositions and realize. “You will see the importance of developing your persuasive skills. now. Presupposition + Command/Directive = Stealth Command Now that you have the basics. Everything that follows a presupposition is assumed to be presupposed. that same command will lose power if you strip off the presuppositions. The wellhoned ability to persuade lets you triumph in business negotiations. observe how I use presuppositions in the following statements to induce greater agreement. Hunt down these little stealth bombers if you can. the greater the effect and the more influence you generate.
5. your strong disagreement to my proposal allows you to immediately realize how both of us are better off working together. I urge that you purchase any book by Bandler and Grinder or peruse through Kenrick Cleveland’s Maximum Persuasion 2000 ™.8. and explosive temper ignites like a powder keg. you can transform antagonism into cooperation “You know what. Think of yourself as a puppet master pulling the strings connected to a person’s feelings. Pull another. With allow. a moment . Is a gradual awareness of how such cooperation will help us beginning to sink in?” My favourite example: “Now. Story telling. instead of against each other.3. Michael. That behaviour is you desired outcome. Pull one string and sad memories seep to the surface. and observe all the presuppositions in those previous statements!) 68 Copyright 2002 .Joseph Plazo Here’s a powerful example using the presupposition allow. Inducing Feelings In a Flash R ecall that emotions vastly overrule logic in the quest to influence behaviour. hence leading to a predetermined behaviour. Observe how you can use this simple structure in daily conversation. as you are readily know by now. stop… and begin to realize the wondrous benefits that await you as you gain mastery over people” Didn’t that make you pause and marvel at your growing abilities? Discussing in-depth the power of presuppositions exceed the scope of this book as reams could be written on the subject. allows you the liberty to infuse people with the desired emotion. For further studies. (Stop.
we use special words that hint to our listeners that they should enter themselves. The next time you sit in a sad movie. and release their feelings. the main character of your story is a third party. you are now getting lusty and you feel horny…” nor can you say: “Mr.Joseph Plazo Storytelling provides the perfect avenue for emotional release. Smith would walk out your door. she finds it very easy to experience the fictional character’s emotions. your listener would shut you out. Smith. so to speak. A time would come when you would want the leading character of your story to be your listener. Women normally cry buckets in sympathy. provided you have the time to weave the perfect story. search their experiences. This becomes particularly true when you want your prospect to partake in some high-involvement action. Being direct doesn’t work in such situations. With storytelling. In the practice of NLP. There are no strings attached. You can’t just say: “Sheila. Scan the crowd and observe how hundreds of women cry as the hero stumbles into dire misfortune. you notice how excited you are and how you want to proceed with that merger…? Sheila would slap you and Mr. They readily identify with the emotions the fictional character undergoes. In fact you can even make up a fictional character in a scenario that never existed. such as buying a house or making love. Sometimes. 69 Copyright 2002 . All this should be done as subtly as possible. The process of creating a story with your listener starring the lead role tends to be a tricky. Since your prospect is physically detached from the characters and situational context of the story. directly involving the persona of your prospect in an emotional tale immediately yields results of a more intense kind. so it’s safe to immerse herself in the story. because once they suspect that there is some form of manipulation involved. It is potently effective and remains a choice persuasive tool. observe how true this is.
She would speak with great deliberation. The magic then begins. As she relates a chunk of her history. you seem to be delivering an innocent series of interrogatives. command verbs and emotional descriptions enshroud her mind in an inescapable veil that elicits an emotional recounting of her history. you felt like you just wanted to vanish from this indifferent earth…?” Have you ever… What’s it like when… Do you recall… As you find yourself 70 Copyright 2002 . the instant you stop speaking. the deeper she experiences ever intensifying emotions. He would ask you: “Robert. and the more she speaks.Joseph Plazo The special words I refer to are called analogical sweeteners. your listener takes over. In effect. You would use them in the following structure: Analogical Sweetener + Command + Emotional State description When you use the aforementioned structure. You create your magical interrogatives using the following sweeteners: Imagine what it… Consider… When you… As… If you were to… How does it feel? Your psychiatrist is obviously adept at unleashing these tools on your mind as you sink onto his couch. and already you would notice a bright spark in her eyes. How is this possible? The sweeteners. she reawakens latent emotions tied to her story. she tells a story and experiences it as though she were going through it all over again. do you recall a time when you felt terribly alone… It was as though the world pretended you didn’t exist… and it was as if you were a ghost…? And each waking hour. you felt miserable and as each minute passed. touching her emotions.
You could wisely provoke intense feelings related to a previous successful purchase. Now. Smith. she experiences everything in a flood of emotions. I suggest you follow the succeeding steps: 1. First. the pertinent emotion is that of passion or attraction. using Analogical Sweeteners. identify the relevant emotions involved. the words in tan are the command. As a broker. “Mrs. It is at this point you can give your proposal.Joseph Plazo The letters in red are the sweeteners. it were as though she were back in time again. If you want someone to fall for you. Provide assistance by describing the emotional state desired in crisp detail. identify your objective. This time.. If you were Robert. she has reached the necessary emotional saturation. to recall of a time she experienced such an emotion. Do you want someone to buy something? To fall in love with you? 2. eliciting her emotions for you. Once she finishes her tale. 3. In order to effectively leverage this method in a flash. 4. you would gloat over it for days. you may wish to induce enthusiasm in someone to purchase a house. have you ever made an acquisition before and were totally satisfied with it? I mean. 5. Provide affirmation as she requires it. Ask your prospect.. As she dwells upon the lurid details of the tale. Fall silent and listen as she recounts the tale in all its naked glory. For instance you could say: 71 Copyright 2002 . telling yourself that it was such as steal and that you couldn’t have done better?. it is with you silent. and she. and the rest are the emotional descriptions.” When you use the technique. wouldn’t you begin feeling melancholy as you dredged your experiences? Let’s look at an upbeat example. you ask your prospect to tell her story.
You didn’t even stop to analyze any of them because these statements were observably true. because you received unprecedented customer support. You have your clothes on.8. You will create stronger agreement in this manner because both of you would appear to rest upon common ground. Pacing Your Way to Compliance You are reading this book. There are occasional noises. The steak is delicious. Like saying “the sun is round.”. Like all the previous techniques. Now. 72 Copyright 2002 .4. you got a lot of valuable extras with it. and third. You are breathing at this very moment. What if I now offer you an investment that will get you smiling even wider? As you do business with us. you will enjoy 365 day customer support. a price that even a tight purse could afford. You are seated or lying down. You are wondering where the heck this is going… Each of the lines above elicited a small ‘yes’ in your head. observe the following lines: You would like to sign this contract. They don’t need further verification. second. inducing emotion offers flexibility for any situation. You will readily find it an ideal opener for most persuasive effort. and free extras worth $5000. these statements are called truisms. the price lay within your budget. 5.00 How’s that for value.Joseph Plazo “I understand now that your previous purchase really satisfied you! First. my friend?” Take care to mention key points that your prospect raised in her story as you mention your proposal.
Your compliance depends on how much you would benefit from following thru. how influential you would be! People will follow unquestioningly. We have sailed through rough times and wonderful times. is it beneficial? Maybe that steak isn’t delicious. but not for you. That woman is short. They reduce resistance to commands by blending a series of truisms with a set of commands. The difference between the latter four lines and the truisms mentioned at the beginning of this section is that the latter are not observably true. The persuader wants his commands to be executed as often as possible. Those benefits are fine… for someone else. As you know. so she she’s just plain. it’s rare and you like yours well-done. it’s a bit different. or we sell out the company to our competitor. “Ladies and gentlemen. Why would you sign that contract. they blur the distinction between both groups. we decide whether we continue that sailing. You either heed or ignore a command. and you see your colleagues. How can the persuader raise the probability of compliance if commands and suggestions aren’t truisms in the first place? If you can somehow transform a command into a truism that is accepted at face value. requests and suggestions are never truisms. the offer is sizable… 73 Copyright 2002 . Those four lines pause you in your tracks.Joseph Plazo That woman is gorgeous. We have been together for years. Lunch is now over and we have this issue to resolve. The negotiator desires his suggestions to be heeded. Master persuaders discovered a powerful trick. We are in this board room today to decide the future of this company. You would need to do some analysis before you agree and say ‘yes’ to each one. Today. They offer a choice. Observe how easily this is accomplished. Today. Commands. Look across the table. You will enjoy these benefits. By so doing.
Blending the truisms prior to the commands creates a hypnotic effect. creating a mind-set of passive agreement within your listener. I. You will readily find them observably true. perhaps you have this strong solid intuition that signing away our corporation… our baby. is not in our best interests”. First. Your listeners will find it easy to accept your suggestions as fact. Each time a truism is uttered. and it is bound to say yes to everything else. What say you in light of the situation?” All the statements. Now. is not in our best interests. You are in effect. and you provoke an avalanche of yes’s. “Why? Why reject it? $600M is a nice round figure!” Launching a command without the preliminary of truisms robs you of the beneficial shock absorbers that truisms provide. you pace by stating the observable reality of your listener. by veiling that command with observable facts. you lead by insinuating your suggestions or commands. Second. The technique applied by the Chairman is known as pacing and leading. Invoke a series of truisms in a row.Joseph Plazo $600Million to the entire board. The decision is yours… and since we’ve gone over the matter many times before. beginning with.”. However.” and from there. The contract that finally determines what happens rests before you gentlemen. you insert your commands. I foresee strong growth in the future and our earnings will vastly overshadow that $600Million takeover bid. perhaps you have this strong solid intuition that signing away our corporation… our baby. A command standing on its own is shocking and invites rebellion. The Chairman will be hard pressed to garner agreement with his board if he simply declared: “Gentlemen. “and since we’ve gone over the matter many times before. are truisms. you induce a silent yes reply in the mind. Get it to say yes a dozen times. The truisms end at “The decision is yours. I urge you right now to reject that offer” The board will begin thinking. posted at the end of all those truisms? The mind desires consistency. Gentlemen. as your chairman can only advise. from the greeting of “Ladies and gentlemen” to “The decision is yours. examine how much easier it is to agree with this command. you transform it into a simple statement of fact that is irrefutable! 74 Copyright 2002 .
Second. command. state your observations in a series of irrefutable statements. truism. these are truisms We are in a room. The steak is before us. Don’t worry that people will question your bizarre opening truisms of “sitting at a table”. observe the subtle distinction with opinions We are in a large room. the room may appear small!) The steak looks delicious. command. it appears to be small talk. command Truism. truism. link your suggestions to your irrefutable statements. “looking at the contract” and “lunch being over. command Truism. We are seated across each other. command. truism command. Besides. Can you imagine what power that is? 75 Copyright 2002 . Now. (You may just be wishing of this) Effective use of pacing and leading demands deft skills of observation. (If you were used to mansions. truism. truism. truism. command You craft your truisms with observably true statements. truism. that we sometimes confuse fact with opinion. command. First. truism. Remember.” They’ll never notice. command. command Truism.Joseph Plazo For your benefit. The human mind will pass over those little details because it will be too busy agreeing to them. I offer you an effective framework to formulating your persuasive speeches: Truism. (What if your listener were devout vegetarian?) We are gazing at each other lovingly. truism. For instance. Finally. We are all entitled to that! Make your conversation as free flowing as possible and you will be delighted with how easily you can sway others to your side. Avoid anything that is subjective in nature. observe your surroundings.
8. one half of the children were secretly told that they had low IQ’s. scientists analyzed the performance of the test children. so to speak. If you imagine yourself a great seducer. The results shocked the analysts. you will behave like a charmer of women. how others perceive you determines your behaviour. In actuality. You can voice out your respect for the opposing panel’s sense of adventure and propensity for the novel: 76 Copyright 2002 . Years later into the experiment. The other half were told that they had high IQ’s. At the beginning of the school year. A stark difference in performance surfaced in the group branded as the High IQ’s. Science proved that perceived reputation governs our actions and you. Among these include our self image. can leverage that fact to your benefit. you will put effort into all your labours. You would tend to behave like an upstanding citizen if you hold the reputation as an esteemed pillar of society. Apparently. everyone roughly had the same IQ level. If you perceive yourself as a hardworking individual. we would like the opposite panel to be open-minded to our solutions. Locking People In a Box An exhaustive behavioural study was conducted on children some years back. Many made the honour role and landed positions in the student council. The children lagged behind in academics.Joseph Plazo 5. This technique works well in negotiations. You can put people in a specific box. Our actions are governed by numerous factors. as persuaders. These children excelled in their respective fields of endeavours.5. A man’s self-image is usually influenced by how society perceives him. and have him behave according to the parameters of that box. sports and extracurriculars. Those told that their IQ’s were low performed poorly. When we enter discussions.
It’s rare for me to meet such individuals. Identify how you would like your listener to behave. You touch each shoe. it would strive to live up to that expectation.” Once the panel is told that it is open-minded.” Smile. If she later deviates from the ascribed behaviour. whether or not it even exists. enjoying your perusal. You wonder how much commission this pushy fellow gets for every gun boat he sells. Arrayed before you. He tells you how he loves the “Kobe Bryant” models. To you. A salesman approaches and begins a pitch. I would refrain from making violent outbursts because I desire to prove to everyone and to myself that I know how to rein in my emotions! The rule for locking people in a box is as follows. marches an armada of choices. 5. I look forward to discussing with you because my colleagues praise you for your incisive thinking and ability to explore new alternatives. He further heaps praises on the shoe being the in-thing among the jet-setters. and voice wonder at her erratic behaviour. it colours and the modern design. sizes and features entice you. the shoe looks like a hideous gun boat. And that price turns you off. Praise her for such behaviour. If I am told that I am cool-headed. 77 Copyright 2002 . Unearthing Her Secrets You go out to buy a pair of running shoes. and inhale that “new-shoe” aroma.Joseph Plazo “Thank you for coming to this meeting.6. remind her of her alleged reputation. He enjoys its springiness. as she behaves the way you desire.8. Human nature dictates consistency. Shoes of all shapes. You browse through the selection.
So of those values which are most important? 78 Copyright 2002 . and why… So if I were to ask you. I myself pick through options founded on my criteria. We hold our own sets of value and criteria. The exception arises when we tend to lack spine and consult others with every action we make. Armed with his values we readily identify how to tailor our proposal such that it meets those core criteria.Joseph Plazo The salesman failed to entice you because he used his reasons in his attempts of persuasion. Every action we make must be beneficial to us. Maybe we are soulmates… So. Allow me to illustrate using a romantic example: You: I feel it’s a wonderful thing to know you . You would instantly become irresistible. Your product. Rarely do we base it on the criteria of others. Once you identify those gems. so we choose carefully. what do you value in a relationship? Pia: Oh… it’s xxx You: I see. Each person possesses a unique set. What I want to know is who you are on a deeper level. It is up to you to discover what those are. The most effective means of influencing someone else is to dig up his secret set of values. is there anything you feel should be an issue in a relationship? Pia: zzzzkkkk You: You truly are a woman after my heart. etc. to get a grasp on what you believe in. take them out and blend them into your suggestions. your proposal will never appeal to anyone unless it fully satisfies a specific set of criteria. May I know what else is important in a relationship? Pia: yyyzzz You: Amazing! I feel the same way too…. hence we compare alternatives against our intrinsic set of values. That is enlightening. Do you experience that often? Pia: xxyy You: I agree with you. I find those important as well. what my job is. When you decide on a course of action. you choose based upon your reasons. That type of small talk doesn’t appeal to me. Questions provide the easiest tools to pry someone open and discover the criteria hidden within.and what’s really exciting for me is to discover beyond the superficialities of what your job is. Imagine the process as finding the perfect key to open up a specific lock.
Then there’s that VCD player that 79 Copyright 2002 . it is important to focus your questions on the specific circumstances. Don’t ask how he chooses vacation spots! Identify at least three primary criteria. Emphasize how your prospect will ultimately enjoy agreeing with your proposal. 5. Exemplifying. you find yourself bombarded with commercials pronouncing the countless features of uncountable products. A person possesses different decision-making criteria for each situation. I feel that we can share a lot of good times together. Ask your prospect “what is important to you about ______” Demonstrate sincere understanding for each criteria shared.8. How to Elicit Criteria Effectively Identify the situational context. A razor brags of thirty mindboggling uses. The War Benefits Between Features and Day in and day out.Joseph Plazo Pia: klklklk You: <much much later> Pia. I could see that our friendship has gotten of to a marvellous start! From what you tell me. should you desire to discern someone’s decision criteria for buying houses.7. A flashy car is touted to have scores of add-ons and extras. ask about his particular home acquisition habits. Conclude the session by subtly linking your proposal with that of your listener’s criteria. Agree with them. I think it’s because we have this rapport based on <what Pia mentioned>! Pia: <gushes in delight> You: I’m very glad to have met someone like you. Hence. Disagree and you kill rapport.
offer benefits. This lesson adapts well to negotiation. I could use a PC for surfing and I could use less aggravation from angry rental personnel. I’m perfectly happy that it could play VCD’s. You can use all the techniques in this book to aid you. And you will win. we readily choose the basic model. They never gave a thought as to whether those extra features even mattered to the end consumer at all. A product feature is a fact. a benefit is a statement of why having those facts matter to the consumer. On the other hand. 80 Copyright 2002 . One of the best lessons I learned at MBA school is that marketing is firmly founded upon offering the right set of benefits to the right people. has an internet capability and could even sing and dance at will? A lot of marketing effort is wasted because managers emphasize the long list of what their products can do. Remember. if a product offers a list of features that provides no tangible benefit over the basic model. Consumers choose products and services based on how they profit from its acquisition.Joseph Plazo can even record movies while you’re sitting in the john. When I go out to purchase a VCD player. Ovens cook. do you even care that your VCD records movies. Consumers don’t buy an oven with three hundred functions just to brag to his neighbour. I’m not willing to spend extra simply because a higher model surfs the net and contacts the rental store when I’m overdue. you aim is to encourage others to your point of view. Whenever you enter conversation. Now I ask you. but if what you suggest does not offer a single tangible benefit. not features. Your product automatically becomes irresistible if the fit a genuine need. you are doomed. Now. and that’s what we desire them for.