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I was born August 22, 1981 in Phoenix, AZ to Carl Dean, and Christine Dooley. Shortly after I was born they got divorced and my mom got custody. When I was about 3-4 years old my mother re-married. She married Daniel Leaf. From the very beginning Daniel would beat us as “discipline” and to “show us who was boss”. He was arrested in Arizona and went to prison in 1988 or 1989 (I believe it was only for 2 years) for physical abuse of me. At that time my mother, brother, and I moved to Concord, NH. When Daniel got out of prison my mother took him back. Around this time we began attending Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, NH (Pastor Chuck Phelps). Between the ages of 9 and 11 I went through physical, sexual, and emotional abuse at the hands of Daniel. His frequent method of molestation included [redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted]. He would do this when my mother was at school so it would happen several times a week. I did not tell anyone for a very long time because he threatened to kill me if I did. We also endured physical abuse at his hands. He would “spank” us with his belt not caring if it was the buckle side or not. He also has slammed our heads against the wall and kicked us with his steel-toed boots on. My brother told the school counselor at one point that Daniel had beat him. At that same time another little girl came forward about being sexually molested by him. Daniel was then charged with those crimes in Concord, NH. He took a plea bargain and spent the next 8 – 10 years in jail. After he was in prison I finally felt like I could tell someone about Daniel sexually abusing me. I told one of the youth leaders, Dee Dee Smith, about the sexual abuse. She felt like she didn’t know how to handle the situation so she brought me to Chuck Phelps. I told Chuck Phelps what had happened and he told me I needed to go to the prison and confront Daniel and then forgive him. He also counseled me that a “good
2 Christian” would forgive and forget and not press charges. I did exactly what I was told to do. My mother is still with Daniel and they continue to attend Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, NH. When I was about 14 years old I started babysitting for Ernie and Tammie Willis. They were a wellknown wealthy couple at Trinity Baptist Church in Concord. They only had 2 children at that time. I would babysit frequently and often stay the night at their house because they would get back so late. I became close friends with the family and confided in them that I had been molested by Daniel. They said that they were so sorry and that should never happen to anyone. When I was 15 ½ my mother didn’t want to teach me how to drive, and Ernie volunteered to teach me. We had been out several times with no problems, and I trusted him. One night when we went out I was driving and he told me to pull over into a parking lot so we could switch places. He then pulled me into the backseat of the car and raped me. I did ask him to stop but when he didn’t I just froze and I don’t remember too much after that. I do remember that it hurt even for a few days after it happened. He later apologized to me and said it would never happen again. In late June or early July of 1997 Ernie came to my house and knocked on the door. I was home alone, and I answered the door. He said he wanted to talk to me about something so I let him in the house. He locked the door behind him and pushed me over to the couch. I had a dress on and he pulled it off. I pushed my hands against his shoulders and said no, but he didn’t stop. He again raped me. When he was done, he just left. I was completely in shock, but too scared to go and tell anyone because I thought I would get blamed for what happened. When I missed my period the next few months I was in shock. I called Ernie and told him that I thought I was pregnant, and he told me that couldn’t be possible. He did however bring me a pregnancy test and I took it while he was there. When it came back positive Ernie was visibly shaken. He asked me if I wanted him to take me to a neighboring state where underage abortions were legal without parental consent and he would pay for an abortion. I told him no. He then asked me if I wanted him to punch me in the
3 stomach as hard as he could because that might cause a miscarriage. I again told him no. I then told him to get out of my house and leave me alone! Several days later I decided that I couldn’t hide this forever so I went to a neighbor (whose parents were members of Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, NH) who I also babysat for a lot and trusted. I told her what had happened and that I was pregnant and asked her to go with me to talk to my mother because I was afraid to go by myself. She and I talked to my mother together and told her about what happened. My mother immediately called Pastor Chuck Phelps. Chuck Phelps and his wife Linda came over within a short time of my mother calling them. At this point I told Pastor Phelps that Ernie had raped me and gotten me pregnant. I only told them about one of the rapes though, because I was afraid that I would get blamed for the whole situation because of the way the Daniel situation had been handled. He said he would talk to Ernie and get his side of the story, but that I could not go back to school. He then left with his wife. The next day my mother and I were called over to the Phelps’ house. Pastor Phelps told us that Ernie was there, but I never saw him because he was in another room. They grilled me for hours about what had “actually” happened, my mother was not here during this time, I’m not sure where she was. I was trying to stay in control of my emotions as I had been taught, but I was still visibly distraught. During this interrogation session Linda Phelps asked me if I had enjoyed it when Ernie raped me. I forcefully said no! The Phelps and my mother then told me that I would be moving into the “prophet’s chamber” in the Phelps house until they sent me away. I cried and begged to go and stay at my grandparents’ house in Texas, but was told that I wasn’t even allowed to tell my grandparents that I was pregnant or that I was going to be living in Colorado. I did not want to go to Colorado to live with people who I didn’t even know and I made that very clear to both the Phelps and my mother. Chuck Phelps then told that I was going to be put up for church discipline. He also said that I needed to write a statement asking the church members to forgive me for my “part” in the whole situation. I told him
4 that I was raped and I didn’t understand why I had to go in front of the church. Pastor Phelps then told me that Ernie admitted to being the aggressor, but that didn’t mean that it was all Ernie’s fault. Pastor Phelps then said that Ernie may have been 99% responsible, but I needed to confess my 1% guilt in the situation. Pastor Phelps then brought me to Deuteronomy 22:23-24 where it says: “If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbor’s wife; so thou shalt put away evil from among you.” He told me that I should be happy that I didn’t live in Old Testament times because I would have been stoned because I didn’t cry out and tell people sooner. Pastor Phelps had Patty (Martinez) Hutchens (Spanish and 2nd grade teacher at Trinity Christian School) help me write the document asking the church to forgive me for “allowing a compromising situation to occur” because this led to my “immorality”. The next thing I remember is standing in front of the church less than a week after I had told my story. Pastor Phelps addressed the church and told them “we have 2 separate incidents to bring before you tonight”. First Ernie got up and said that he had been unfaithful to his wife and wanted forgiveness. Pastor Phelps then said that they had a totally different situation to deal with and brought me up in front of the church and read the 1 page letter that they helped me write. He then told the congregation that I was pregnant because of my actions. When the service was over there was a reception line where people could come and “grant forgiveness” to me but I couldn’t talk to any one person for any length of time. I was then brought back to Chuck Phelps’ house. The next day I went back to my house with Patty (Martinez) Hutchens to pack my bags for Colorado. To the best of my memory the next day I flew to Colorado with my mother. Pastor Matt and Diane Olson (Tri-City Baptist Church Westminster, Co) met us at the airport and brought us to Clovis and Diane Landry’s house.
5 Pastor Olson became my pastor for the next year or so while I was living at the Landry’s house. He told me that I needed to write a letter to Tammie Willis asking for her forgiveness for betraying her trust by getting pregnant with Ernie’s baby. I did write this letter because I was told that I had to, but I didn’t really want it to write the letter and felt like it was all a big lie. While in Colorado I was homeschooled by Diane Landry. I attended church at Tri-City Baptist in Westminster, but was not allowed to be around the kids my age. I was always with the ladies group until after the baby was born. I often felt very lonely and depressed because I wasn’t allowed to talk with my friends or have any meaningful communication with people my own age. I did spend a lot of time at the Olson’s house playing games and chatting with them. Pastor Olson hardly gave me the time of day, but Diane Olson was always kind and their kids were as well. Pastor Phelps had talked to me about having the baby adopted. He told me I could make up surveys and he would send them out to potential parents and I could chose the parents based on their responses to my questions. I came up with a survey with lots of questions and sent the survey to Pastor Phelps. He then sent it out to people, and I received 3 different surveys back from which to choose. Based on the answers I chose one of the couples, but I never did meet them until 2000 or 2001 when I was at Maranatha Baptist Bible College. On March 21, 1998 [redactedredacted] was born. Diane Landry and Diane Olson were with me during labor. I was able to hold her and love her while I was in the hospital. She went home from the hospital with her adopted parents, [redacted redacted and redacted]. A few weeks later I went to court and terminated my rights so that [redacted redacted and redacted] could adopt [redactedredacted]. I only did this after being assured that Ernie had also terminated his rights because I did not want him to be able to get her. Diane Landry and Diane Olson were with me during the hearing.
6 After this I was given the choice to either stay in Colorado with the Landrys or go back to New Hampshire to live with my mother. I chose to stay with the Landrys because going back to New Hampshire meant that I would have to go back to Trinity Baptist Church where I had been completely humiliated and where Ernie Willis and his family still attended. I had no desire to be anywhere near Ernie, and the Landrys had always been kind to me so I decided to stay in Colorado. I attended Faith Baptist School in Longmont, Colorado for the first couple months of my senior year. Before I was allowed to attend I was brought in and told that I would be allowed to attend the school as long as I didn’t talk to anyone about what I had been through. Clovis Landry unexpectedly got transferred by his job to go to Washington DC. At that point I had no choice and had to go back to live with my mother in New Hampshire. My mother forced me to attend Trinity Baptist Church where Ernie Willis and his family still attended. This was a nightmare for me! In the fall of 1999 I was told I could attend Bob Jones University in Greenville, SC, Northland Baptist Bible College in Dunbar, WI, or Maranatha Baptist Bible College in Watertown, WI. I chose to go to Maranatha Baptist Bible College in Watertown, WI. While I was there I told one of my peers parts of my story and I got called into the dean of women’s office (Renee Westphall) and told that I needed to keep my mouth shut and that nobody needed to know my story. I was then grilled about who all I had told anything about my story to. I was also put into some mandatory counseling with Renee Westphall. After several months of this Renee Westphall set up a meeting between myself and [redacted redacted and redacted]. We met for the first time at Maranatha and have had a great relationship ever since! However, Janie Allamon whose husband Robert Allamon was on staff at Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, NH did call me on the carpet so to speak about this meeting. She told me that I had no business getting into contact with [redacted redacted and redacted] and that I was being manipulative and I needed to leave them alone. I told her that our
7 relationship was none of her business and I was then told that I wasn’t right with God because I wasn’t listening to my leaders. I met my husband Tim and we got married in December of 2002. We have 3 beautiful children. My husband is a great father and a very supportive husband. We have always stayed in Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches. It is only recently that we have started to see the problems in these churches. I thought my situation was an isolated case, but after Chris DeAngelis of the Concord Police Department contacted me I have done a lot of searching. I found the group Independent Fundamental Baptist Cult Survivors on Facebook and have been reading others stories. This is the first time I have seen that I am not alone and that there are other victims out there that need to be heard! This is the first time in my life that I have started to see and believe how wrongly all of these situations have been handled, and that I’m not the one who should feel guilty over any of this because this is not my fault. We are slowly pulling away from our responsibilities in our current church and are beginning to look for a healthier environment for our family. Although we are under contract where we must remain members until the end of the school year. Detective DeAngelis has told me that I have a choice in whether to go forward in pressing charges. I did not understand all of the lies that I had been told my whole life. Now that I’m beginning to understand what has really happened I want to move forward. If by my actions I can protect one person from being victimized by these perverts then I feel compelled to do this.
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